.

How To Negotiate Better Than the Other Person

In this world, we do not get what we deserve. We get what we negotiate.

Economists were often frustrated because the masses did not act as their rigorous models predicted they would. In the same way behavioral economics reshaped their own discipline, learn the most effective ways to negotiate toward the outcomes you desire against one of the most emotional mammals in the world – the human beings

Why should you get none of what you want when you can get most of what you want? There is no skill more fundamental to success than the ability to negotiate.

Whether you are negotiating with venture capitalists or for a promotion, negotiation skills are vital to get more of what you want by giving up less than what you want.

Emotionally connect with opponents for better outcomes for all parties. Understand the limits of BATNA as a negotiating technique Transform negotiations from fixed to variable sum gains.

Zero Sum Negotiations

This is a mathematical representation of bargaining when one side’s gain is exactly balanced

by the loss of utility by the other side.

Zero-sum bargaining is a competitive situation.

Non-zero-sum bargaining can be competitive or non-competitive depending on approach.

Non zero-sum bargaining parties' aggregate gains & losses can more

than zero.

Hard Emotion

Soft Emotion

To get from fixed to variable sum bargaining discover the soft emotion hidden behind the displayed emotion.

Subtractive Empathy | Soft Emotions

Do not say, You don’t need to feel that way.

Understand hard emotions protecting the soft emotions.

Anger is the hard emotion

perhaps.

Fear is the soft emotion

hidden beneath it.

Distraction is the hard emotion.

Lack of Priority to

Negotiate is the hard emotion.

Difference between the conscientious & unconscious mind.

A more advanced approach means taking the role of psychologist before the role of negotiator to determine what the person really wants – not what they “think” they want.

Decisions and not conditions determine our destiny.

What do you need?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?Variable Sum Negotiating Real

underlying need

Zero Sum

Why should you not get anything you want when you can get some or most of what you want.

The Person Willing to Blow the Deal ….

Wins the deal … or walks away

because they had a better

alternative to whatever

they might have

negotiated.

Focus on the other side’s pressure –not your own!

Tendency to focus on our own pressure & why we need to make a deal.

When focused on your own limitations, you miss opportunities for leverage.

Instead, ask what pressures does the other side have?

Recognize reasons for other side to give in.

Negotiation power derives from other side’s pressures & your ability to walk away (blow the deaf!)

Show the other person how theirneeds will be met

o Negotiators look at situation from other side's perspective.

o What is their perception of the deal?

o Instead of trying to win the negotiation find variable non-zero sum solution.

o If you help other side feel satisfied, they are more inclined to satisfy your needs.

Position what they say they

want

Their interests is what they need

to achieveMove toward here

Don’t confuse the two.

Don’t Take It Personally

It clouds clarify of thought.

Regardless of how much you won – best to make the other side feel as if they got the better of you.

Play to win – don’t act as if you did especially if there will be future negotiations.

Behavioral Change Stairway Model

Focuses on getting someone else to (1) see your point of view as a leading indictor to (2) change what they're doing.

Change

Viewpoint

Technique focuses on influencing behavior of the other party.

The more power you overtly yield the more the weaker party resists.

Active Listening

Rapport

Influence

Change in Behavior

Empathy

Actually listen & make them aware you are listening

Ability to understand & share their feelings because you were listening . Empathy is what you feel – not an intellectual understanding.

When they feel it back that you do understand & empathize with them. They start to trust you.

After trust, you've earned right to work on problem & recommend solutions.

They’ve changed their behavior due to your influence upon them.

From the bottom up ….

Most people do not listen. They wait for their turn to talk.

While you are talking to them, they are using their bandwidth to decide what to say next.

Active listening is a way of listening & responding to another person that improves mutual understanding.

Tool Paraphrasing back the person speaking.

What We Are Probably Doing Wrong.

Most people skip first 3 steps (# 1 active listening, # 2 empathy & # 3 rapport)

They start at # 4 influence

They expect other person to move straight to # 5 behavior change.

This often fails

I'm right & you're wrong as a negotiating strategy might be effective if people were

rational.

But behavior economics disputes that.

Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement is

perfect for two algorithms negotiating against each other.

But what about when

humans negotiate?

Attractive alternative to negotiations more you can hold out for a better outcome. Why?

Walking out becomes more attractive that accepting current offer. BATNA is option left if agreement is not achieved.

What is BATNA?

Makes Sense … But Here’s The problem with BATNA

o We are not algorithms. Pretending emotions don’t exist is problematic.

o BATNA posits people are unemotional & rational,

o Instead of pretending emotions don't exist, take them into account & leverages them as tool of influence

o First critical step is Active Listening.

o Most of us are terrible at listening.

Let’s talk about why most of us are terrible

at listening.

Assumption: first instinct may be to talk & even interrupt .

Data = currency of knowledge economy. The more you listen more currency you obtain to cash in as tool of influence.

Is your best tool.

If wanting to negotiate used car is it better to obtain dealer’s asking price first “or” for you to state yours first?

What if your opening price is higher than the dealer's opening price?

Object lesson do more listening than talking, especially in the beginning.

While making your argument other side silently thinking about their own argument instead of listening to yours.

When they're making their argument you're thinking about yours!

1st objective is NOT to make your argument but to listen to the other side.

People don't walk into a negotiation wanting to hear the other side but to make an argument.

Why people are often bad at listening.

Listening & responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. Often people talk to each other without listening attentive -often distracted while only partially engaged.

Listen! Don't interrupt, disagree, or evaluate.

Nod your head & make brief acknowledging comments like yes / uh-huh.

Paraphrase what they just said from their point of view.

Inquire. Ask questions demonstrating you've paid attention that move the discussion forward.

6 Techniques To Help You Negotiate

Use what makes sense to you.

Ignore what does not

# 1 Don’t use yes / no questions

Use open ended questions so others person opens up. Sounds like a

tough deal. Tell me how it happened.

non judgmental

shows interest

Likely to lead to more information about the other side’s situation.

At this stage, ask more about the person than positions.

# 2 Effective Pauses are Powerful.

Encourages other person to keep talking diffuses emotional situation.

Difficult to sustain a one-sided argument even if person is venting.

Conversation will return to meaningful dialogue.

Should do least amount of talking & most amount of listening.

# 3 Make Minimal Encouragers

Brief statements to let person know you are listening - keeps

them talking.

Phrases as yes, okay or I see convey the negotiator is paying attention. These responses encourage the other person to continue talking & gradually relinquish control to the negotiator.

#4 Mirroring, #5 Paraphrasing & #6 Emotional Labeling

(4) Mirroring repeat last word or phrase said to demonstrate engagement.

(5) Paraphrasing

shows you understand & aren't merely parroting.

You're trying to help them hear what they're saying to find out if what they are saying makes sense to them.

(6) Emotional labeling

Give their feelings a name by identifying how

they feel. But do not comment on

validity of feelings.

non sequitur To the optimist, pessimist & the realist – while you discussed the if the glass of water was half full “or” half empty, I drank the entire class. I am the opportunist.

Use ethical negotiating techniques to make the most of your opportunities.

In this world, we don’t get what we daserve, we get what we negotiate.

About NetCom Learning

http://www.netcomlearning.com/?advid=1315

Recommended Courses

http://www.netcomlearning.com/?advid=1315

Soft Skills Training Courses

MS Word Primer - Useful Information for Documenting

Making Good Presentations Using Microsoft Power Point

http://www.netcomlearning.com/?advid=1315

http://www.netcomlearning.com/?advid=1315

http://www.netcomlearning.com/?advid=1315

THANK YOU !!!

http://www.netcomlearning.com/?advid=1315