mother god, father god: children's perceptions of god's distance
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Mother God, Father God:Children's Perceptions ofGod's DistanceAmy K. Eshleman , Jane R. Dickie , Dawn M.Merasco , Amy Shepard & Melissa JohnsonPublished online: 16 Nov 2009.
To cite this article: Amy K. Eshleman , Jane R. Dickie , Dawn M. Merasco ,Amy Shepard & Melissa Johnson (1999) Mother God, Father God: Children'sPerceptions of God's Distance, The International Journal for the Psychology ofReligion, 9:2, 139-146, DOI: 10.1207/s15327582ijpr0902_4
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THE INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL FOR THE PSYCHOLOGY OF RELIGION. Y(2). 139-146 Copyright O 1999, Lawrence Erlbau~n Associates, Inc.
RESEARCH REPORT
Mother God, Father God: Children's Perceptions of God's Distance
Amy K. Eshleman and Jane R. Dickie Department of Psychology
Hope College
Dawn M. Merasco Frost Center for Social Science Research
Hope College
Amy Shepard and Melissa Johnson Department of Psychology
Hope College
This study explored children's perceived distance from and involvelnent with God as related to (a) parents' involvelnent in parenting, (b) children's perceptions of God's gender, and (c) God's involvelnent in problematic situations. Forty-nine children ages 4-10 were interviewed and their parents colnpleted questionnaires. Children who were older, or whoseparents were less involved, perceived God as closer; when children perceived God as male, boys perceived God as closer; when children per- ceived God as female or not male, girls perceived God as closer. Attachment (Kirpatrick & Shaver, 1990) and gender (Chodorow, 1978; Gilligan & Wiggins, 1988) theories are used to interpret the results.
"Dear God, How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now'? Seymour" (Hample & Marshall, 1991, p. 48). When children think about God, what images come to their minds? Do they envision God as near to them or far
Requests for reprints should be sent to Jane R. Dickie, Department of Psychology, Hope College. Peale Science Center, 35 East 12th Street, P.O. Box 9000, Holland, MI 49422-9000, USA. E-mail: [email protected]
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140 ESHLEMAN, DICKIE, MERASCO, SHEPARD, JOHNSON
away'? Do they see God as active in their lives? Do they categorize God as having a gender' What affects children's perceptions of God'?
To study such questions, Heller (1986) interviewed children and collected their drawings and letters to God. Heller reported that, as children moved from early to middle childhood, they shift from perceiving God as a close, personal friend to perceiving God as a distant and powerful authority figure. Although no independ- ent assessments of parental variables were obtained, Heller suggested that chil- dren's awareness of a growing distance between them and their parents might have been responsible for these increased perceptions of God as distant.
Alternative to Heller's (1986) suggestion, Kirkpatrick and Shaver's (1990) at- tachment theory model (based on Bowlby's, 1969, attachment theory) suggests that increased emotional distance from parents would lead to perceptions of God as closer, as the perfect substitute attachment figure. Adults who described their mothers as avoidant and nonreligious were more likely to have religious conver- sions in adolescence or early adulthood, which Kirkpatrick and Shaver interpreted as seeking a more perfect attachment figure in God.
We explored children's perceived distance from God by age to test whether older children perceive God as more distant, as Heller (1986) found, or as closer as Kirkpatrick and Shaver's (1990) attachment theory predicts. To further test Kirkpatrick and Shaver's model, we examined the relationship between par- ent-child involvement and children's perceptions of God's distance.
The developmental theories of Chodorow (1978) and Gilligan and Wiggins (1988) noted the importance of predominantly female care-givers during early childhood gender identity development. For girls, gender identity development is a process of connecting with care-givers. For boys, the same process is one of sep- arating from primary female care-givers and seeking to identify with male figures.
Mothers are more likely to serve as the primary care-giver for both boys and girls. However, fathers tend to be more involved with their sons than with their daughters (Parke, 198 1). Therefore, boys may perceive male authority figures as closer than do girls. If so, boys who perceive God as male will perceive God as close, whereas girls who perceive God as male will perceive God as distant. The reverse would be so if children perceive God as female and not male.
In studies of undergraduates and adult participants, Tamayo and Desjardins ( 1976) and Felty and Poloma (1 99 1 ) found that women perceived God as closer than did men. Heller (1986) noted that girls perceived God as closer than did boys. Con- necting attachment theory (Kirkpatrick & Shaver, 1990) to the developmental theo- ries of Chodorow (1978) and of Gilligan and Wiggins (1988), adults may perceive God as the perfect substitute attachment figure or ultimate primary care-giver and women's encouraged attachments with primary care-givers may encourage closer attachment to God, particularly if God is perceived as female.
In early childhood, when children's cognitive development makes them highly attentive to categorizing activities, people and objects in terms of gender (Bem,
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CHILDREN'S PERCEPTIONS OF GOD'S DISTANCE 141
198 1 ), God may also be categorized in terms of gender. If God is perceived as male (possibly sparked by children's gender classifications based on traditional biblical references to God as "He"), then boys' and girls' relationships with their fathers may be critically important for their perceptions of God's distance, especially in early childhood before children have extended experience with alternative author- ity figures. According to Vergote and Aubert (1972) and Heller (1986), boys are more likely to perceive God as paternal or male, whereas girls are more likely to see God as both maternal and paternal or androgynous.
Heller (1986) also reported gender differences in children's perceptions of God's involvement. Boys' and girls' categorizations of God seem to follow gen- der stereotypes with boys perceiving the male stereotype and girls perceiving the female stereotype. Boys perceived God as distant, yet active, omniscient and ra- tional; God was an organizer of projects and in control through indirect contact. Girls perceived a closer, more personal, passive God. We expected to find sig- nificant gender differences in children's perceptions of God's distance and God's involvement.
METHOD
Participants
Participants were recruited from a local mainline Protestant church. Parents of 27 boys and 22 girls from middle to upper-middle class intact families gave permis- sion for their children to participate. The children ranged in age from 4 to 10 (age 4-5 [N = 171; age 7-8 [N = 181; age 9-1 0 [N = 141). By studying children, we avoided the problems of retrospective bias which occur when adult recollections of childhood are studied (Lytton, 1971). All participants were Caucasian.
Materials and Procedures
All children were interviewed individually in a 30-min session. Children were taken from their Sunday school classes to a separate room. At the end ofthe session, children were thanked and returned to their classes.
God's distance. Children were presented with a set of felt-cloth figures of clouds, hearts, circles and three sizes of male and female figures. From these fig- ures, they selected a "God symbol." Children's perceptions of God as near or far were derived from two Likert-like questions for which they were asked to place their chosen "God Symbol" on 7-point continuums indicating whether they thought God was "near" or "far away" and indicating whether God was "up in the sky" or "near to them on earth." The two questions were added to calculate a second mea- sure of God's distance (Cronbach's cx = .67).
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Parental involvement. In our research, direct information fiomparents elirn- inated the problems in speculating that parents were more distant as children moved from early to middle childhood (Heller, 1986). Parental questionnaires (returned by 18 fathers and 24 mothers) asked parents to estimate quality time spent with children and to diagram the portion of their total identity assigned to their role as parent. Esti- mates of quality time each parent spent with hisher child (including outings, reading, watching television together, playing and talking) were measured in quality time spent on Thursday through Saturday of the previous week. If one parent returned the questionnaire and the other did not, the respondent's estimate of hislher spouse's quality time was included as the best available estimate. Parents were asked to create a pie chart out of a circle provided on the questionnaire. Parents divided total identity (the entire circle) into pie slices representing their various roles (e.g., parent, spouse, worker, dreamer). Measures of parental identity were taken by measuring the propor- tion of the circle's circumference dedicated to parental identity.
Perceptions of God's gender. Children were asked whether they per- ceived God as more like a man. a woman or neither.
God's personal involvement. Children were told short (Piagetian-like) problematic situations which were visually represented on a felt board. The situa- tions included,
1. A child who had fallen from his or her bike. 2. A child whose dog had died. 3. A child who had stolen an apple. 4. A child who was in the hospital. 5. A child who hurt another child and stole hislher ball. 6. A child who was hurt by another child.
After hearing each story, children were asked to place their God symbol (the self-chosen piece of felt) on the board where they thought God would be in the story. The experimenter measured how far the child placed the God figure from the child figure in the story.
RESULTS
Correlations Between Parental Involvement and Perceptions of God
Pearson correlations were used to assess the relationship between quality time and parental identity and the child's perceptions oftiod's distance. Father's quality time (r = .37,p < .05), mother's quality time (r = .35,p < .05), father's parental identity
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CHILDREN'S PERCEPTIONS OF GOD'S DISTANCE 143
(r= .30) andmother'sparental identity (r= .42,p< .05) all correlatedpositively with God's distance. (Correlations remained significant when controlled for age and gen- der.) These correlations seemed to support Kirkpatrick and Shaver's (1990) model: When parents were less involved in the child's life, God was perceived as closer.
God's distance and God's gender. Seventy percent (N= 30) of the partic- ipants reported perceptions of God as male. Only one girl fi-om the oldest age group reported perceiving God as female. Twenty-eight percent (N = 12) of the partici- pants perceived God as neither male nor female. Child's gender did not signifi- cantly affect perceptions of God's gender.
An ANOVA testingperception ofGod's gender andchild's gender on perception of God's distance revealed a significant interaction. As predicted, boys perceive God as closer when God is perceived as like a man whereas girls perceive God as closer when God is perceived as not like a man (as like a woman or as neither a man nor a woman), F ( I , 39) = 5 . 3 6 , ~ = .03, (see Table 1). An ANOVA examining God's gender andchild's age foundno significant effects on perception ofGod's distance.
God's Personal Involvement
An ANOVA testing perception was performed for each of the six stories. The child's perception of God's personal involvement was the dependent measure and child's age and gender were the independent measures. All six of the stories re- vealed the same pattern of results: following Kirkpatrick and Shaver (1990), older children indicated a closer, more involved God than did younger children (see Ta- ble 2). Also following Kirkpatrick and Shaver (l990), children indicated a closer, more involved God in situations requiring nurturing-situations in which an at- tachment figure is desired-rather than judgment or punishment.
Significant age by gender interactions for the child fallen from bike story and for the child in hospital story revealed that the change with age was most dramatic for girls, F(2,43) = 5 . 9 7 , ~ = .Ol; F(2,43) = 3 . 3 4 , ~ = .05 (see Table 3).
TABLE 1 Interaction Between God's Gender and Child's Gender on God's Distance
Cod's Gender
Child j. Gender Like a Man Nor Like a Man
Boys 5.42 9.33 (4.24) (5.79)
Girls 7.27 3.86 (5.68) (3.10)
Note. Scores are mean sums of two 1-7 scales, scores range tiom 2--14. Standard deviations are in parentheses.
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TABLE 2 God's Personal Involvement in Story Situations
Fall tiorn bike 28.94 (12.75)
Dog has died 23.82 ( 10.86)
Stole apple 33.82 (15.15)
Hospital 26.41 (1 1.53)
Stole ball. hurt child 38.47 (15.88)
Has been hurt, ball stolen 3 1 .OO ( 14.49)
-
/\'oto(e. Means are centimeters distance between God figure and child. Stardard deviations are in parentheses. Degrees of freedom were 2,43.
TABLE 3 God's Distance from Child in Life Situations which Involve Nurturing a Child
Age
Child fallen from bike Boys 22.91 14.67 12.57
(1 1.08) ( 13.04) (12.03) Girls 40.00 12.00 6.57
(6.93) (7.71 ) (4.89) Child In hospital
Boys 22.45 13.33 12.86 (9.26) (13.32) (5.90)
Girls 33.67 1 1.78 7.7 1 (12.50) (5.53) (4.68)
Note. Means are centimeters distance between God figure and Child. Standard deviations arc in parentheses.
The youngest girls indicated a more distant, less involved God than did the youngest boys. Interestingly, this gender difference only emerged in the situations requiiing nurturance, when the child was hurt or in the hospital. There was no gen- der difference for the situations which could involve powerful judgment or punish- ing, such as when the child stole an apple or hurt another child.
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CHILDREN'S PERCEPTIONS OF GOD'S DISTANCE 145
DISCUSSION
We found significant support for Kirkpatrick and Shaver's (1 990) attachment the- ory model. As children move from early to middle childhood, they rely less on di- rect contact with parents. The parental attachment figure becomes internalized. At- tachment theory suggests that our need for attachment is lifelong, thus as children gain distance from parents, God is perceived as closer. Both our examination ofpa- rental involvement in everyday activities and our examination of God's involve- ment in problematic situations supported this model. When parents are less in- volved and when children desire a nurturing figure, God is perceived as closer. This is especially true for girls.
Confirming our prediction based on the theories of Chodorow (1978), Gilligan and Wiggins (1 988), and Parke (1 98 I), boys perceived a male God as closer than did girls. Girls perceived God as closer than did boys when God was perceived as female or not male. Others have found that children ages 4 to 10 shift from a per- ception of God as more similar to male authority figures to perceptions of God as more similar to female authority figures (Dickie et. al., 1997). Perhaps the greater distance these four- and five-year-old girls feel from God, and the greater close- ness the nine- and ten-year-old girls feel is related to a shift in perceptions of God from "like a male" to "like a female" in character.
From a cognitive perspective, the shift from preoperational (early childhood) to concrete operational thought (middle childhood) allows children to develop more complex and flexible gender schemas (Serbin, Powlishta, & Gulko, 1993). This shift allows a schema of God whose qualities are more androgynous.
The changes in perceptions of God from early to middle childhood from more male to more androgynous, and the accompanying shift toward girls perceiving God as closer may explain the findings of studies with adults (Felty & Poloma, 1991; Tamayo & Desjardins, 1976; Vergote & Aubert, 1972) in which women per- ceived God as closer than did men. Our research suggests that this process occurs for two reasons: First, the need for attachment is lifelong for both boys and girls, however, girls' psychological development in early childhood focuses on staying connected with primary care-givers, usually female, whereas boys' psychological development focuses on separating from the primary care-giver who is female (Chodorow, 1978; Gilligan & Wiggins, 1988). Second, as children develop, both boys and girls rely less on parents and God becomes the "perfect substitute" at- tachment figure. When young children see God as more male, however, older chil- dren see God as more female or androgynous. This combination of changes from early to middle childhood leads girls and women to see God as nurturing, closer, and involved. Although boys and men see God as more distant than do girls and women, nonetheless, older boys perceive God as closer than do younger boys as God becomes a key attachment figure to replace the earlier attachment relation- ships with parents.
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Future research focusing on who perceives a gendered God and how that gendered God is perceived would offer important advancements to the study ofpsychology and religion. Social-cognitive theorist, Vygotsky (1986) emphasized the importance of adult mentors in shaping children's understanding. Children probably develop their concepts of God from the speech of important adults around them in the social milieu. From the Vygotsky perspective, a third variable (e.g., specific teachings concerning God's nature) could be responsible for both children's perceptions of God as a gendered being or being without gender and children's perceptions of God's distance. In an age during which gendered references to God have become controversial, our re- search indicates that perceiving God as malemay distance God for girls and women.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
We would like to acknowledge the assistance of The Hope College Frost Center for Social Science Research for funding these studies; David LaHuis, Kay Otto, Christine Rose, and Michael Vander Wilt for their assistance in data collection; and the staff, parents, and children from Hope Church of Holland, Michigan.
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