8/13/2019 MONOLOGUE Reconciliation

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Reconciliation

By Cary Pepper

Grant – 20s Serious

/ Grant speaks to his dying older brother, knowing this may be the last time they’ll talk. Years ago

his brother was turned out of the house and disowned by their parents for confessing his gay feelings to

them. Grant, however, remained at home and so his father spoiled him because he was the brother who

turned out “normal”. Grant realizes why he has grown up so terribly lonely, alienated from his parents

and his absent brother, hating his father, his brother, and himself. He now detests the “dirty secret” that

in reality denied him a loving brother. The monolog builds steadily from beginning to end, and it

challenges the actor to achieve emotional variety so the speech doesn’t resemble a long, boring, angry

tirade. In addition to rebellion against his parents , there is great sadness in Grant’s words, as well as

sympathy, pleading, self-hatred, and confusion as he struggles to piece his life together in what may be

his last conversation with his brother.

GRANT: You think this is only about you? You think you’re the only one who’s been screwed over? You

left … You got out. I stayed … I stayed in that house, with him … And their dirty secret you could

never talk about, but that they couldn’t quite manage to hide. You’d think he’d at least be hap py

you left. Or happy because I turned out “normal” … Or happy about something, once the secret

disappeared … But no. Maybe he was terrified one day I’d sit him down at the kitchen table and  

say, “Guess what? Now there are two of us!” Who knew what was going on in his head? But he’d

either cut me out, too, or he’d be all over me. So he gives me everything I want … I don’t even have

to ask. But half the time it felt like he was trying to buy me off. The other half, thanking me. So I lost

you … and I lost him … and I lost … And then you call and tell me you’re dying … And you’re not even  

dying from the right thing! And I come here … where everything is different … everywhere I turn I …  I don’t know what the hell is going on … I’m making it up as I go along … I have to ask people

everything about you … (He begins to sob.) All these years … I’m hating him for what he did to you  

… And hating him for what he did to me … And hating me, for … And you think this is only about

you?!

SOURCE: Audition Scenes and Monologs from Contemporary Playwrights (ed. Roger Ellis)