mom crimes
TRANSCRIPT
1Strategic Research & Brand ConsultancyStrategic Research & Brand Consultancy
WWW.THESOUNDHQ.COM
MOM CRIMES
INSPIRED BY AN EXCERPT OF AMY POEHLER’S BOOK “YES PLEASE”, ABOUT “WOMEN-ON-WOMEN CRIME” AND DRIVEN BY OUR INSATIABLE CURIOSITY TO STUDY HUMAN BEHAVIOR, WE’VE DECIDED TO
DIG INTO THE SUBJECT OF MODERN-DAY PARENTHOOD.
WE’VE BEEN STUDYING THE SUBJECT THROUGHOUT THE YEAR THROUGH CONTEXTUAL RESEARCH AND CONDUCTED A PANEL DISCUSSION TO BRING SOME OF OUR HYPOTHESES TO LIFE.
WHAT RESULTED WAS A CANDID DISCUSSION ABOUT NEGOTIATING THE ROLE OF ‘MOM’...
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Amy DenbyAuthor of “Dear Babies, Crazy
Life, Simply Explained”
Elissa SpencerSpecial Education Teacher
at PS321
Jessica Shevitz RauchFreelance Writer
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MODERN DAY MOTHERS ARE NAVIGATING A CULTURE OF POLARITY
These women observe a culture of extremes in point of view and behaviors
around parenting today.
It just seems like there has to be a ‘versus’ between us.Jessica
I 7ind the more polarizing the piece I pitch to editors, the more likely it will get picked up. ‘Why having twins is easier than one’ or ‘Why it’s better to have a boy than a girl.’
Amy
In the digital age, there is so much information to process, that this black and white view seems to rise to the surface.
vs.Helicopter Parent
Attachment Parenting
Stay-at-Home Moms
‘No Rescue’ Parents
Free Range Parents
Working Moms
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THERE ARE POWERFUL EXTERNAL DRIVERS IN THIS CULTURE OF POLARITY
Generations ago, women were homemakers like Donna Reed. Then came the working mother in her white sneakers; now, it’s nebulous: you can work, you can work 3 days, you can this, you can that...
there are so many choices.Jessica
For better or worse, the fact is that social media provides direct access to the lives of
other people and the ability to compare yourself to them.
In a modern culture that generally accepts and supports women who make these various choices, there is still a lot of judgment that “feels very
intense and real.”
FREEDOM OF CHOICE ACCESS TO COMPARISON
Our parents didn’t have as many people to compare themselves to; they had their neighbors or friends. Now you go online, and you see Giselle with her perfect body, doing a headstand on the
beach next to her 2 kids.Amy
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AS WELL AS INTERNAL DRIVERS: THE IDENTITY STRUGGLE PLAYS A BIG ROLE
Your life is changing. You de7initely go through a time when your identity changes.
Jessica
‘Mom’ is a really intense title. It can conjure up this image of a Kathy cartoon, but it’s also this enormous responsibility.
Amy
“I’m a stay at home Mom... but I used to write for Seventeen magazine!” Amy
Being a mom is only one part of who women are, even though it often times feels like it consumes their identity.
They’re introducing themselves when they’re out to dinner and Ninding that they have to explain themselves with a qualiNier:-‐ I live in the suburbs, but I used to live in the city-‐ I’m home with my kids, but I used to write for a magazine
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AND THIS SAID, ‘WOMEN-ON-WOMEN CRIME,’ OR‘MOM CRIMES’ ARE OFTEN THE RESULT
‘Mom crimes’ aren’t seen as malicious attacks on other moms. It’s simply an understanding that everyone is negotiating their choices and
can’t stop comparing...
...And everyone has all of these choices, but why can’t we be okay with one another’s choices? I think it goes back to our own insecurity.
Jessica
It’s like in high school. We form these cliques... They’re great and supportive, but we also make ourselves easy targets.
Amy
Mom crimes are also seen to be less about how someone feels about another woman’s choices and more about a particular personal insecurity or the need for validation of one’s own personal choices.
JUSTIFYING ONE’S OWN INSECURITIES CAN BECOME A VICIOUS CYCLE
“You work 5 days a week? I don’t know how you do it being away from your kids so much?”
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‘MOMS’ ARE AN EASY TARGETThe universal truths that surround the parenthood role make ‘Mom’ an easy target for brands. These women feel that the ‘Mom’ label, when applied by brands, feels like it is diminishing the other aspects of her life. Or just generally “pisses us off”.
Moms need a rebrand... I should be able to say I’m a mom and for it to be cool. You get this title of ‘mom’ that’s all encompassing: ‘Moms Weekend, Moms Night Out, Moms Getting Wild...’ It’s still me -‐ I’ve always liked to have a glass of wine with my
friends.Amy
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AND ‘MOM’ GENERALIZATIONS CAN BE A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY
It’s undeniable that becoming a mother is a vulnerable time and that what a woman sees, what she experiences and how she’s perceived can shape a woman’s identity
and perception of self.
There is something about being seen as one way and how it changes your perception of yourself.Elissa
As a result, generalizations can sometimes become something women internalize for themselves.
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WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR BRANDS
MARKETING TO MOMS?
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DON’T MAKE ‘MOM’ A LABELOn the playground, I’m 7ine with being Josie’s mom. That feels right. But when a
brand calls me ‘Mom’ -‐ Ew...
I don’t mind that these products are targeting moms; it’s the insinuation that it’s all on you. And that’s dif7icult to swallow as
women are negotiating their choices.Elissa
DEAR BRAND: “Me being a mom has nothing to do with our relationship...”Elissa
These women feel like brands are often speaking to the lowest common denominator when they’re targeting ‘mom.’
While these women talk about the amazing experience of having children, the ‘Mom’ generalization isn’t the persona to which they aspire.
Putting her in this box is the exact thing she’s working to avoid as she tries to maintain her identity and navigate the modern reality of parenthood.
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P.S. I just wish brands would show me something my friends without kids won’t roll their eyes at...
Elissa
thank you. happy mother’s [email protected]
RESOURCES
RESOURCES - Images
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