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Effective Communication- Dealing with Conflict

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dst.i

eWhat have you learned since

August’15

•What are the strengths of your leadership style?

•Are there liabilities attached to your style?

Warmth and CompetenceActive Facilitation

Active Harm

Admiratio

n

Pit

y

Passive Facilitation

Passive Harm

Envy

Contemp

t

Competence HighLow

War

mth

Hig

hLo

w

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1364661306003299

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Leading from the front...

Great leaders connect emotionally•Create a balance between strategic and intimate relationships

See bigger picture issues-logical, formal, highly structured, protected, armoured –keep a safe distance

Engage in the intimate interactions-interested in the person not power, informal and humorous –’let the guard down’ –decision making is highly emotionally charged

Disagree and fight for alternatives –still maintain the hierarchical alliance

(Dr Philip Matthews NCI)

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Features of authentic leadership

•To move seamlessly between strategic and intimate

•Treat people in terms of potential rather than performance

•Intimate leadership needs to be spontaneous, to engage people, to have a laugh, to let the guard down

•Vital importance of trust (Dr Philip Matthews NCI)

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What Kind of Leadership?

More recent research has this to say:

One of the most reliable indicators and predictors of true leadership is an individual’s ability to find meaning in negative events and to learn from the most trying of circumstances...

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Difference is inevitable......

•‘if you please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress’ Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook)

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Without some conflict………

•Professional smugness•Focus on convergent thinking•Paucity of Innovation•Fear of Change •Teacher isolation•Teacher insulation•Orchestra

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Conflict is essential for Growth

•A driver of Change•Builds understanding of Difference•Fosters a culture of Open communication•Dissipates Anger and Frustration•Stimulates Professional Dialogue•Challenges the Status Quo•Motivates people to suggest ‘ANOTHER WAY’•‘Jazz-band’

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dst.i

ePositive conflict- a necessary ‘tension’ for

improvement

How do you manage ‘creative tension’ for Change in your school?

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An Awareness

ofWhat is

A Vision of What could be

Managing CHANGE through positive CONFLICT

CREATIVE TENSION

ww

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dst.i

eStarting the conversation:

‘ Might there be another way?’

Worries ? Thinking ? What might you do ?

Concerns ? Knowledge ? How do we begin?

Duratio

n30 second pitch 3 minute pitch 30 minute pitch

Where• Climbing the stairs• Staffroom

• Over Coffee in the Staffroom• At the Photocopier• After school

• Meeting with DP• Meeting with AP’s/YH’s• Subject Dept. Meeting• Staff Meeting

When• On the way to Class• Waiting for the kettle to

boil

• With Dolphins/Puppies• With Hibernating Bears

• Key Calendar moments

Why• Creating curiosity• Sowing a seed• Gauging

FEELINGS/EMOTIONS

• FACTS• THINKING• PROS v CONS

• CONSENSUS/DESIGN• PLANNING• ACTION• WHAT WE DO NEXT?

Focus • Heart • Head • Hands

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Thoughts on the groundwork

•How connected am I to others? The critical importance of the fundamental relationship...not a personal relationship but a professional, trusting one.

•Leaders get isolated if people are not being listened to....• Important to take the pulse:- (end of day/week activity)• Who have I lost touch with?• Who have I not spoken to?• Who has not sought my attention?• Who has not been listened to? (based on Séan Ruth)

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Listening

•‘You can listen people into agreement a lot more quickly that you can argue them!’ (S.Ruth)

•Focus on the problem-useful phrasesLet me see if I understand what you are saying..Tell me more....Why do you think that will work....Focus on feelings not behaviours...Build relationships.... (don’t rush in to rescue)

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Responding to Conflict

•Self Control ( Awareness, Self Talk) •Win/Win ( Needs first, solutions

later) •Prepare•Listen and Clarify ( Focus on the

problem, not the person) •Explore Options •Discuss supports •Agree follow up •Record (Adapted from” Leadership and Liberation” Sean

Ruth )

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Responding to Conflict

Win/Win!! What do you need?

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But when conflict turns toxic….•Individual Stress

•Absenteeism

•Staff Morale

•Education Dysfunction

•Stunting of Mission/Vision

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The personal toll

•Small ‘t s’-humiliation, shaming ,aggression, embarrassment unkindness.....dealing with this using reason and logic fails to resolve it –a scar remains. Induce calm and develop an awareness of what you are experiencing ( the triggers / the origin) then seek solace/supervision?

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eRaising awareness of the

personal toll•Emotional fitness- ‘developing emotional fitness, literacy, maintenance and depth is understood to contribute to sustainable personal and professional growth and school change’

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eOrdinary people doing an

extraordinary job!!Certain indisputable facts:-•We are all vulnerable•We will face challenges and encounter crises

•We underestimate our capacity to cope

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The ‘Myth’ of the Complete Leader

Recent research is encouraging:

‘hundreds of people have struggled under the weight of the myth of the ‘complete’ leader! It is now becoming clear that an ‘incomplete leader’

who is authentic is likely to be more effective’

Ancona, Malone & Senge ‘In Praise of the Incomplete Leader (2011) HBR