center and spiralthe core and the barkthe foundation and the structureboth needing each other to become more than the sum of their individual partsto become a part of something greater than themselves

Our senses tell us how important this moment is. Every breath seems more thoughtful, our hearts beat a bit faster and louder.

For after these vowsyou shall say to the world this — is my husband and this — is my wife.

Welcome family and friends.

Thank you for joining us today as Michelle Balmeo and Andrew Sturgill join hands and

openly commit to share the rest of their lives with one another. Some of you may be wondering who we are.

Philanthropists?

World class croquet players?

Technological geniuses?

Inventors of the post it note?

Viennese flying trapeze artists searching for circus work in the Americas?

Keepers of the holy grail?

Surprisingly, none of these are true. We are something much more important: we are some of the few select people that have been able to share some of our precious time with Andrew and Michelle.

We all share this gift, and even though today may be the first time many of us are meeting , this is the fiber that ties us all together, and it is a starting point for wonderful things. My name is Maria Carter-Giannini

and I am Bill Carter-Giannini and we have both been blessed to have the best of friends in Andrew and Michelle.

We met Andrew and Michelle a few years ago when they became Monta Vista Matadors. Andrew and Michelle have always been a packaged deal. They came to Monta Vista together and they entered our lives together.

To us, there has always been “Andrew and Michelle” and today we will make it legal.

Andrew is the grounding force and Michelle is the free spirit, the motivator.

In eastern tradition this is known as yin and yan, but can also be described in more tangible ways: center and spiral, the core and the bark, the foundation and the structure, both needing each other to become more than the sum of their individual parts, to become a part of something greater than themselves.

In the combining of the two halves, this union does not destroy the individual but creates a new sense of self beyond the singular.

Some find it easier to tie elements to these traits: earth, fire, wind, water. A balance of these elements is needed for success, as we all know we cannot continuously give of

ourselves without recharging.

Andrew is the source of the power and Michelle provides the pathway through which their power may flow. They both grow out of each other’s differences and find strength in the space between.

It is natural for those of us with long histories with Andrew and Michelle to think about the past, to think about the “what once was” or perhaps to think about the “what will be,” but let us all focus now on the present, on this moment. A moment that will always have an impact on all other thoughts of time. This is the moment of union. The point at which two bodies will share a single life before them.

This is not to say there has been no union previously. But there is a spark of spirit today because of the presence of Andrew and Michelle’s community. This moment of union is deeper than what once was and will lead them to what will be. Our senses tell us how important this moment is. Every breath seems more thoughtful, our hearts beat a bit faster and louder. It is not just the brain that decides this; it is the whole being that knows the truth of this day.

It is beyond language, beyond culture, beyond our sense of self. We charge you, Andrew and Michelle to listen deeply, not just to the words spoken today, but to the presence of everyone here supporting you and most importantly to each other.

We all come from different backgrounds and different beliefs. We encourage each of you in whatever way is important to you, put forth here and now your best wishes, prayers, energy, expressions and thoughts towards this celebration of Andrew and Michelle’s union.

Bill and I have something in common with Andrew and Michelle: longevity! One of the reasons why Andrew and Michelle asked us to officiate today is because like them, Bill and I have been together for many years, a full decade in fact. When you’ve been together that long you learn a few things. The transition from long term relationship to marriage still takes work, though. Marriage is what you make it. The institution itself does not dictate what the partnership will be; instead, it requires active participation. Marriage is not a spectator sport, and it is not for everyone. Like anything truly worth our time, it is a challenge. It is not the whirlwind ease of perfect romance we find in movies and fairy tales. This is not happily ever after. But it is the part of the story that follows the phrase “they lived happily ever after” that is the most exciting part

and is often left out of the tale.

Sometimes it isn’t pretty, but the struggles we experience as a couple are necessary for transformation and growth. It is when we emerge from these changes together that we feel the warmth of true connection and union.

Marriage is the outcome of this struggle, the answer to the question: Can this last forever? It is the time when we learn how to be individuals yet form a strong team that is supportive and challenging to each other’s development. This bond has already been strengthened by years of stewardship and this marriage acts to bind all of those loose pages into a single volume.

However, you will both need to be prepared for some new things that you may notice after you become husband and wife today. For starters, Michelle you must prepare yourself for a new Andrew that will start watching football nonstop and yelling at the TV on Saturday afternoons. Andrew, you will have to get used to Michelle throwing dinner parties with gold chargers and trying to tackle multiple projects around the house. Michelle might start collecting figurines like nutcrackers. Andrew may begin to have a penchant for beers from around the world, refusing to drink anything not made by either a friar or a monk from a mountaintop in the Alps.

(Maria stares at Bill like he’s an idiot, smacks him on the shoulder)

What?

Bill, I think they’ve got that figured out already.

Well you’re all set then!

Despite knowing each other’s idiosyncrasies, you may notice small changes in your relationship, but in a good way. Like the way you feel when you introduce the other to someone as your husband or wife. Or the way your heart skips a beat and you smile when you glance down and see that wedding band on each other’s finger, making you think of this day.

It is said that it takes a village to raise a child, and many of you here were part of the villages that raised Michelle and

Andrew with love and support. You have taught them how to act responsibly, yet to take risks and seek adventure. You fostered their curiosity and gave them the passion to learn. You shaped the way that they love – tenderly, compassionately, and genuinely – which led

them to each other.

Michelle and Andrew have asked us to take a moment to honor one member of their village who they recently lost. Michelle’s grandfather, Donnie Sanderson passed away on Thursday, and though losing him has brought them great sadness, his spirit is surely present here today in this joyous celebration. They would also like to thank him and Grandma Sanderson who were married for 58 years for showing them that true love is resilient and can weather any storm; Mom and Dad Balmeo for showing them that no dream, however far away it seems, is unreachable when you have each other for support; and Dad and Debbie Sturgill for reminding them to always enjoy and be grateful for each other and to build their own future.

They would like to thank their long-time friends here, who remind them to have fun and enjoy life; their new friends, who have shown them family means more than genetics; and their bridal party – Matt, Chris, Andromeda and Kathleen, who remind them to laugh and play together.

Now, let’s get down to it! First thing’s first: If anyone here opposes this union...

Get out!

They don’t want to hear it! Where were you nine years ago?

Actually as officiants it is our duty to allow anyone to speak up against this union IF they have cause, so if anyone

does have cause to oppose this union please speak now, or forever hold your peach. If you did not bring a peach, then there cannot be any challenge made today. Peach anyone? No? Excellent, let’s move on…

Seriously though, Michelle and Andrew are depending on you, their village, to support them as they inevitably face challenges in their marriage, to encourage them as they grow and learn together, and to continue to love them, as you are all their family. So today, you are more than witnesses of this union. You are partners, and as partners, Michelle and Andrew ask you, too, to take a vow. Are you ready? This requires a little audience participation. But don’t be scared, simply respond with “We do.”

However, you’ve only got one chance here, so I implore you not to hold back. This is your moment to show Andrew and Michelle that you proudly support this union today, so please speak loudly and with intention.

Don’t be shy! Do you promise to support Andrew

and Michelle as they face the challenges of life and marriage, to encourage them to continue to grow and learn more about each other and the world, and to love them forevermore?

We do. Good job. Now that you’ve all done your part, we’d like to move on to a reading we’ve chosen with Andrew and Michelle for today from Author Robert Fulgum:

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks -- all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will and you will and we will”– those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe”– and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “ You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed? Well, I meant it all. Every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this – is my husband, this – is my wife.” For our second reading...

Actually, Maria there has been a change in plans. We are gonna go ahead and skip this reading. Andrew paid me $20 to move things along so we can get to the reception faster.

Ooookay. I guess we’ll be moving on then. Now Michelle and Andrew will exchange rings as a symbol of their love and commitment to one another. By the exchange of these tokens of your love, so are your lives interlaced. What one experiences, so shall the other. As honesty and love build, so will your bond strengthen and grow.

The circle is a perfect figure, without beginning, without end, with no area of weakness. This shall serve as a physical reminder of your vows and that all things begin and end and begin again.

These rings shall remind you that life goes on, that these moments pass. When you are engulfed in anger or in sadness, look to your hand and remember that the wheel turns forever onward, and it is love that turns the wheel.

Andrew, please take Michelle’s hands in your own, and repeat after me.

With this ring, I take you Michelle to be my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as we both shall live.

Michelle, please take Andrew’s hands in your own, and repeat after me.

With this ring , I take you Andrew to be my husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as we both shall live.

Michelle and Andrew please hold each other’s hand in your own, touching the ring you have just given your partner.

What were once two separate rings have now become one, just as you both have now become one.

Henceforth, one ring will not be whole without its counterpart. No matter how far away you may be from each other, or how bad a day you may be having , when you are not able to hold each other, this ring will be your connection.

Focus on the ring you have given your partner and know that as of right now, a part of your strength, love, and spirit

will always be held within your wedding bands.

Andrew and Michelle, you have declared your vows one to the other before this company and exchanged tokens of love. Now, with the power vested in us by you the people of the State of California…

And together with all of you, here as witnesses and partners…

We are pleased to pronounce you, husband and wife.

Kiss you fools!

We are honored,

and very pleased to present to you for the very first time...

Andrew’s wife Michelle

and Michelle’s husband Andrew.

You have taught them how to act responsiblyyet to take risks and seek adventure.

You fostered their curiosity and gave them the passion to learn.

You shaped the way that they lovetenderly, compassionately, and genuinely

which led them to each other.

Michelle Balmeo & Andrew SturgillHighlands House and Park

Ben Lomond, CaliforniaMay 23, 2009