That means that you have a certain powewhether you think so or not. You have thepower to impact people and the world arouyou. But let’s go further, let’s focus on howyou can make that inner strength, intelligenand ability, feel more meaningful to youand the important assets about. This is whatwe mean by “make it real”. The “it” is thepower within you. By staying true to yourand doing what you believe, you make yourpersonal power real. (Of course, this powergrows stronger when we have a strong re

E V E R Y D A Y

40 Developmental AssetsThat Can Help You Be Your BestEXTERNAL ASSETSSupportFamily supportPositive family communication Other adult relationshipsCaring neighborhoodCaring school climateParent involvement in schooling

EmpowermentCommunity values youthYouth as resourcesService to othersSafety

Boundaries and ExpectationsFamily boundariesSchool boundariesNeighborhood boundariesAdult role modelsPositive peer influenceHigh expectations

Constructive Use of TimeCreative activitiesYouth programsReligious communityTime at home

INTERNAL ASSETSCommitment to LearningAchievement motivationSchool engagementHomework Bonding to schoolReading for pleasure

Positive ValuesCaringEquality and social justiceIntegrityHonestyResponsibilityRestraint

Social CompetenciesPlanning and decision makingInterpersonal competenceCultural competence Resistance skillsPeaceful conflict resolution

Positive IdentityPersonal powerSelf-esteem Sense of purpose Positive view of personal future

Want to know more? Visit www.search-institute.org.

The 40 developmental assets may be reproduced for educational, noncommercial uses only. From Me@My Best: Ideas for Staying True to Yourself—Every Day.Copyright © 2003 by Search Institute; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org.

615 First Avenue Northeast, Suite 125Minneapolis, MN 55413612-376-8955 • 800-888-7828

Do You Wonder About…?

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you’re wondering about these things, you’re not alone; they’re questions

most people want to figure out, especially as teenagers. How you answer

these questions is part of what makes you unique—and can help you

pursue your own dreams.

Trying to figure out the answers can be difficult and confusing, but there’s alot that can help you along the way.

Me@My Best is about how building these eight categories of assets in yourselfcan help you discover how to live the life that you want and deserve—even atthose times when you are struggling.

By focusing on assets, you can tap into your individuality and better aim to beyour best—a person who makes the most of every day with a positive attitude; a person others look up to, count on, trust, and respect.

Q O

The choices you make and the way you live your life, including doing

your best in school and staying healthy and safe, are strongly linked

with having what researchers call developmental assets. Grouped into

eight categories, the assets are positive qualities, skills, characteristics,

and experiences that everyone needs.

This booklet helps you reflect on what those assets are and what they can

mean for you. Being your best is not some final place you get to when

you become an adult, but something you strive for throughout life.

It’s one thing to be appreciated by your peers,” says 19-year-old Nam

Nguyen of San Jose, California. “It’s another thing to be recognized

and acknowledged by adults . . . given meaningful roles . . . and invited

to give your perspective.”

For all of the powerful women who have touched my life—your faith and determination inspire me to dream big.

—K.L.D.

Me@My BestIdeas for Staying True to Yourself—Every Day

Kalisha L. Davis and Ruth Taswell

Copyright © 2003 by Search Institute

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever,mechanical or electronic, without prior permission from the publisher except in brief quotations

or summaries in articles or reviews, or as individual charts or graphs for educational use. For additional permission, write to Permissions at Search Institute.

Search Institute615 First Avenue Northeast, Suite 125

Minneapolis, MN 55413612-376-8955 • 800-888-7828

www.search-institute.org

CreditsContributors: Maya Babu, Eagan, MN; T.J. Berden, Traverse City, MI; Alix Fellman, Apex, NC;

Nam Nguyen, San Jose, CA; Timothy Phillips, St. Louis Park, MN Production: Mary Ellen Buscher

Design: Brad Norr Design

ISBN 1-57482-834-7

Story Sources Page 5: “Youth Editorial Gives the Real Deal on Asset Building,” Assets Magazine, Spring 1999, p. 4.Page 7: “Life-Size Maze Teaches Larger-Than-Life Lessons,” Assets Magazine, Autumn 2000, p. 3.Page 8: “ArtEffects” by J. White, Assets Magazine, Autumn 1998, pp. 7–8. Page 10 “Maynard High Students Find Niche on Airwaves” by L. Pappano, the Boston Globe,

January 26, 2003. Page 11: “Halls Are Alive with the Sound of Rapping” by P. Edwards, News of Delaware County,

February 12, 2003. Page 14: “The Battle for Self-Esteem,” Assets Magazine, Summer 1999, pp. 14–15.

Thanks also to Tim, Molly, Mike, Josh, Rachel, Lemmy, LaTesha, James, Nathan, Sarah, Chelsi,Tony,Hunter, Christy, Mike, Jeremy, and Sara, who are behind the words at the beginning of each asset category; they contributed their thoughts on what they really want from adults in their lives for theposter set In Our Own Words.

About Search InstituteSearch Institute is an independent, nonprofit, nonsectarian organization whose mission is to provideleadership, knowledge, and resources to promote healthy children, youth, and communities. Theinstitute collaborates with others to promote long-term organizational and cultural change that supportsits mission. For a free copy of The Asset Approach, which provides an easy-to-read overview aboutdevelopmental assets, call 800-888-7828.

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A Story of SupportI wish I had known you and this group before, because if I had, I wouldn’t haveended up here,” said one teenage inmate at a juvenile correctional facility in RedWing, Minnesota. He was speaking to 19-year-old Maya Babu of Eagan,Minnesota. Maya and other members of the Minnesota Alliance with Youth andsome Tibetan monks had come to talk with the teens in the facility about conflictresolution and to make peace flags. “I was really touched by what he said,” saysMaya. “It was a good reminder that asset building really speaks to the idea ofsupporting youth so they can contribute successfully to a community.” Becauseof the visit, the teen felt supported in a way he previously hadn’t and recognizedsomething new: despite his past poor choices, he realized he still had opportunitiesto make positive choices and to make his life different.

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Ask yourself:

S What kind of support do I need that I’m not getting? Who can I turnto for that support?

S Am I supportive to the people I care about? {Work on forming the good relationships you need. For example:

When you feel unsure about how to connect with someone,try telling a little bit about yourself to get started. You could say, “I just heard the best song,” and see where that leads.

Be respectful of what the other person prefers. Some people are comfortable asking for help; others would rather you offer.

build support?

Of 614 young people (ages 12–17) surveyed across the nation who say theyhave an adult outside of their family who cares about them, 46% report thatthey help children younger than them “very often.” Feeling supported helpspeople support others.d

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Grading Grown-Ups 2002: How Do American Kids and Adults Relate?by Search Institute (2002), Minneapolis, MN, p. 6.

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DOyou sometimes feel as if adults don’t give you a chance to trysomething? Feeling encouraged to try new ideas and activities usingyour own talents can help you feel empowered. But empowerment isalso about feeling free enough from worries or fears to use thosestrengths even when you don’t get the encouragement you want.

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getting and giving supportAll of us need to feel loved, cared for, appreciated, accepted, and included. Support is about being there for others, and others being there for you.

HOWmany times have you thought these words, felt them, said them? They’rewhat other young people like you have said support means to them andhow they really want to get it from their friends, family members, andthe other adults in their lives.

A Story of EMPOWERMENTWe’re not out to get adults . . . Stop and talk to youth. You might be surprised bywhat we have to say!” wrote 14-year-old Tanis Henderson and 15-year-old LauraHildreth in an editorial in their Minnesota community newspaper, the GrandRapids Herald-Review. Frustrated with adults treating their friends, whom theadults didn’t know, with “weird looks” or judging them for their pierced noses,green hair, or “different” clothes, Tanis and Laura decided to speak out. They had talked about the problem with fellow members of Move It Forward, a committee focusing on building assets in the community. Encouraged by the committee towrite about the adults’ judgments and exercise their freedom of speech, they did.

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Empowerment

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Ask yourself:

S In what way do I feel comfortable saying my opinions?

S Who takes my ideas seriously? Do I tell her or him how important that is to me?{

Feeling and Being Empowered All of us need to feel that others believe we have something to contribute and

allow us to do so. Empowerment is about dreams and opportunities. 54

Think about what you’re willing to work on. For example:

When you’re feeling powerless, find constructive ways to resolve the problem rather than just complaining.

Do an activity with someone you admire. It may make it morelikely that you’ll stick with it.

When teens believe that it is within their power to do things to improve thewelfare of others, they have a higher volunteer rate than average (at least70% compared with 59%). Feeling empowered helps you want to use yourskills to serve others.d

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America’s Teenage Volunteers by M. Hamilton and A. Hussain,Independent Sector (1998), Washington, DC.

build EMPOWERMENT?

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At the 5,000-square-foot Teen Maze set up in the National Guard Armory inPrescott, Arizona, young people can safely experiment with certain choices in pretend yet lifelike scenarios. The maze also helps teens better understand why a grown-up may have a particular expectation or set limits like curfews and insistthat you not drink and drive. When you know what the negative consequencesmight be, you may find it easier to make positive choices.

In one maze setting, a graphic simulation lets you feel what it’s like to drivedrunk, crash into a tree, awaken to paramedics strapping you to a body board,and fade in and out of consciousness. In another setting, you learn about some of the results of sexual activity by wearing an apron filled with heavy sand overyour belly and caring for a needy “baby” using a computerized infant simulator.

The purpose is not to judge, according to Diane DeLong, program director ofthe Teenage Pregnancy Program. Her teenage daughter, Brynn DeLong, added thatthe maze helps prepare you for these kinds of decisions in real life.

DOthe rules parents, teachers, or other caring adults make for you seem tobe for your safety or to keep you from having fun or trying new things?How do you know when someone believes in you?

You probably get conflicting messages at home or school, from television and your friends, about what’s okay to do, so figuring outchoices can be difficult. The people who are concerned about you and

your safety will tell you lots to avoid, like alcohol and other drugs, or

early sexual activity, because they can be dangerous. Sometimes, you

probably follow their advice, and sometimes you may make choices not

because you really want to do something but because you’re feeling

angry, stressed, bored, depressed, or curious. Feeling pressured by

others or wanting to fit in may also affect your choices.

It may help to think about the boundaries and expectations other

people have for you in this way: When the rules and consequences for

breaking those rules are fair and consistent, it’s easier to follow the

rules and stay safe. When people’s expectations are based on wanting

the best for you, you can value the expectations as showing that other

people care about you and want to help you.

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Ask yourself:

S Who believes in me? What do they know I can do well?

S Are the boundaries and expectations others have for me fair orunfair? Why or why not?

{Setting Boundaries and Living Up to High ExpectationsWe all need to know that what is expected of us is reasonable and challenges usto do our best. Sometimes adults need help seeing that you’re ready to have moreresponsibility and freedom. Being patient and willing to negotiate and showingrespect and responsibility will make discussions about boundaries go more smoothly.

BOUNDARIES AND EXPECTATIONS

Talk about what works for you rather than making assumptionsabout what others think about you. For example:

Think about a time when you were really proud of yourselfbecause you tried hard. Remembering such times can help you keep on having high expectations of yourself.

Boundaries and Expectations Look LIke?

Of 1,838 middle and high school students surveyed around the country, thosewho say they talk with their parents regularly and openly about importantissues are more likely to try to live up to their parents’ expectations.

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Teens Today 2002 by Students Against Destructive Decisions/Students AgainstDriving Drunk and Liberty Mutual Insurance Group (2002), Marlborough, MA.

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