Meditations9

DhammaTalks

by

ThanissaroBhikkhu(GeoffreyDeGraff)

2

copyright2019thanissarobhikkhuThisworkislicensedundertheCreativeCommonsAttribution-NonCommercial4.0Unported.Toseeacopyofthislicensevisit

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/ .“Commercial”shallmeananysale,whetherforcommercialornon-profitpurposesorentities.

questionsaboutthisbookmaybeaddressedtoMettaForestMonasteryValleyCenter,CA92082-1409U.S.A.

additionalresourcesMoreDhammatalks,booksandtranslationsbyThanissaroBhikkhuareavailabletodownloadindigitalaudioandvariousebookformatsat dhammatalks.org .

printedcopyApaperbackcopyofthisbookisavailablefreeofcharge.Torequestone,writeto:BookRequest,MettaForestMonastery,POBox1409,ValleyCenter,CA92082USA.

coverPointReyes,California

3

Introduction

ThedailyscheduleatMettaForestMonasteryincludesagroupinterviewinthelateafternoonand,laterintheevening,achantingsessionfollowedbyagroupmeditationperiod.TheDhammatalksincludedinthisvolumeweregivenduringtheeveningmeditationsessions,andinmanycasescoveredissuesraisedattheinterviews—eitherinthequestionsaskedorlurkingbehindthequestions.Oftentheseissuestouchedonavarietyoftopicsonavarietyofdifferentlevelsinthepractice.Thisexplainstherangeoftopicscoveredinindividualtalks.

Ihaveeditedthetalkswithaneyetomakingthemreadablewhileatthesametimetryingtopreservesomeoftheflavorofthespokenword.InafewinstancesIhaveaddedpassagesorrearrangedthetalkstomakethetreatmentofspecifictopicsmorecoherentandcomplete,butforthemostpartIhavekepttheeditingtoaminimum.Don’texpectpolishedessays.

Thepeoplelisteningtothesetalkswerefamiliarwiththemeditationinstructionsincludedin“Method2”inKeepingtheBreathinMindbyAjaanLeeDhammadharo;andmyownbook,WithEach&EveryBreath.Ifyouarenotfamiliarwiththeseinstructions,youmightwanttoreadthroughthembeforereadingthetalksinthisbook.AdditionalDhammatalksareavailableatwww.dhammatalks.org.

***Aswiththepreviousvolumesinthisseries,IwouldliketothankBokLimKimfor

makingtherecordingofthesetalkspossible.She,morethananyoneelse,isresponsibleforovercomingmyinitialreluctancetohavethetalksrecorded.Iwouldalsoliketothankthefollowingpeoplefortranscribingthetalksand/orhelpingtoeditthetranscriptions:JamesBabbitt,DeannaBurkett,SatarupaDas,JudiFaabeng,AmalaGhosh,MelissaGreben,GraceKeiru,GraceKepler,AndreaKessler,VirginiaLawrence,AddieOnsanit,BarbaraPereira,IsabellaTrauttmansdorff,EmilyWalker,andAntonyWoods;Vens.BalaggoBhikkhuandVijjakaroBhikkhu.Maytheyallbehappy.

ThanissaroBhikkhuMettaForestMonasteryFebruary,2019

4

TheLanguageoftheHeart(1)March12,2016

Thepurposeoflearningabouttheforesttradition,theteachingsoftheforestajaansandsomeoftheirhistory,istobringtheirlessonsinside.Thephrasethatyou’dhearoftenabouttheajaansisthattheyspeakthelanguageoftheheart.Inotherwords,theylearnedtheDhammathroughlistening,theylearnedtheDhammathroughthinkingaboutit,butthenastheyactuallyappliedtheDhamma,theylearnednewlessonsintheirownhearts.Andthosearethelessonstheywantedtoconvey.TheysawthatthepurposeoftheBuddha’steachingswasthattheybeputintopracticeuntiltheyledtoagoalbeyondthem.

AstheBuddhasaidonthenightofhispassingaway,thereweredevaswhowerepayinghomagetohimbysprinklingheavenlyscentsandheavenlyflowersandplayingheavenlymusic.AndhetoldhisattendantthatthatwasnotthewayinwhichonepaidhomagetotheTathagata,theBuddha.ThetruewaytopayhomagewastopracticetheDhammainaccordancewiththeDhamma.Inotherwords,theBuddhahadspentallhismanylifetimestofindawakening,anditwasn’tforthepurposeofheavenlymusic,heavenlyscents,orheavenlyflowers.Itwasforthepurposeoffindingaskillthatcouldbepassedontoothers:tosolvehisownsufferingandthentoteachthatskilltootherssothattheycouldsolvetheirownsufferingaswell.ThiswasthewholepointoftheDhamma.Andsotheajaanswentstraightforthepoint.

Andtheyencouragedotherstodothataswell.It’sinterestingthat,ofthevariousBuddhisttraditionsinThailand,theforesttraditionwastheonethatattractedthemostWesterners.Theysawthatitdealtstraightwiththeproblemintheirhearts,too.Itwassimplyamatteroftranslatingthelanguageoftheheartintotheirhearts.Andsoit’sgoodtoreflectonhowtotranslatethingsintoyourheartrightnow.

Onsomelevels,it’snotthathard.You’refocusedonyourbreath.Trytobringyourawarenesstothebreathandseewhatyoucannoticeaboutwhatyou’redoingthat’skeepingtheminddisturbed.Thenclearawaythatdisturbancesothatitcansettledown.Thatrightthereiswhereyoucandigin.Ifyoufindthatanyoftheteachingsaredirectlyrelatedtowhatyou’reexperiencing,theycangiveyouencouragement,giveyouguidance.

WhenIwasnewlyordained—itwasmysecondyearasamonk—asetofbooksbyAjaanMahaBoowacameout,whichwouldbetranslatedliterallyas,TheDhammaCollectionforGettingReady.ItwasaseriesofDhammatalkshe’dgiventoawomanwhowasdyingofcancer.Anditwasanunusualsetofcircumstances.Shedidn’thavethatmuchbackgroundinformalDhammatraining,butshehadaveryimmediateproblem

5

thatsheearnestlywantedtoovercome,whichwashowtofaceherownimminentdeathwithskill.ThissetofcircumstancesinspiredAjaanMahaBoowatogivesomeofhisbesttalks,inmyopinion.Becauseontheonehand,theyaredirectlyrelatedtothemainproblem,buttheyalsoexplainedalot,andtheyarenotboundupintoomanytechnicalterms.ThetalkshewouldgivetohismonkswouldoftenassumethattheyhadabackgroundintheDhammatextbooksandsomebackgroundinDhammalanguage.Butinhercase,shedidn’thavethatbackground,sohestartedspeakingstraightfromtheheart,fromhisownexperience.

Inmyparticularcase,Irememberreadingapassagewherehetalkedabouthowthoughtsbegintoforminthemindwithalittlebitofastirring,aperceptionisslappedontothem,andthentheyturnintofull-blownthoughts.Ihadnoticedthatinmyownmeditation;Ihadneverseenitexplainedanywhere.Andsomyimmediatereactionwas,“Finally,here’ssomebodyspeakingdirectlytothatproblem.”Andsoit’sgood,asyougothroughtheteachingsoftheforesttradition,tofindwhichteachingsspeakdirectlytoyourproblem.Andifyouhavesomebackgroundinwheretheajaansarecomingfrom,ithelpstotranslatesomeoftheirterms,sothatyoufindthatsomethingwhichatfirstglancemightnotseemtoberelevantactuallyisrelevanttowhat’sgoingoninside—veryrelevant.

Thisproblemofcommunicationisabigoneinpassingontheteachings.Afterall,sufferingissomethingthatweeachfeelforourselves.It’snotpartofourawarenessthatwesharewithanyoneelse.It’slikeyoursenseofthecolorred.Youcan’ttakethatandcompareittootherpeople’ssenseofred.Wedon’treallyknowhowotherpeopleseered.Weagreethataparticularcolorwecanpointtoisred,butwhatredlooksliketootherpeople,wedon’tknow.Yourownpainissomethingevenmoreprivate.It’ssomethingthatyoufeelexclusivelyyourself;nooneelsecanfeelyourpainforyou.Butasitturnsout,thesolutiontotheproblemofhowyourelatetothepainsothatyoudon’tsuffer:Thatsolutionlieswithinyourawarenessaswell—theinnerareaofawareness,theprivateareaofawareness.Andsocommunicationacrossthatbarriercanoftenbedifficultbecauseweletinsomewordsandkeepothersout.Ifourframeofreferencedoesn’tallowforsomething,itjustgoesrightpast.

Yearsback,IwasgivingaDhammatalkatCIMC—thiswasveryearlyoninmytimebackintheStates.Atthattime,IhadasetofstandardDhammatalksI’dgiveinplaceswhereIwasn’tfamiliarwiththepeople.AndasIwaswalkingintotheroom,IrealizedthatitwasmysecondorthirdyearofgivingaDhammatalkthere,andIcouldn’trememberwhichtalkofmystandardsetIhadgiventhepreviousyear.IwaswonderingwhatwouldhappenifIgavethesametalkagain—whatwouldpeoplethink?ButasIwaswalkingintotheroom,thewomanwhohadbeeninchargeofthetaperecorderthepreviousyearhappenedtobestandingnexttome.Sheturnedtomeandsaid,“Youknow,whatyousaidlastyearmeantsomuchtome.”IwasallearstohearwhatIhadsaidlastyear,butshethensaidsomethingIknewthatIwouldneverhave

6

said.IthenrealizedthatIcouldsayanythingthatnight,andnoonewouldknowIwasrepeatingmyself.

Thisreflectsthefactthatwhatwehearisoftenconfinedtowhatweallowourselvestohear.Partofthatallowancehastodowithhowmuchwetrustthespeaker,andpartwithhowsatisfiedwearewiththewaywealreadyseethings.

ThismaybeoneofthereasonswhytheBuddhafocusedontheproblemofsufferingasthepointofcommunication.Onlywhenweadmittoourselvesthatwe’resuffering,arewereallyopentolisteningtootherpeople.AstheBuddhahimselfsaid,therearetworeactionstosuffering.Oneisbewilderment:Whyisthishappening?Thesecondis:Isthereanyoneouttherewhoknowsawayortwotoputanendtothissuffering?That’swhenwe’reinterestedinlisteningtootherpeople—whenthere’ssuffering—inhopesthatmaybetheycanhelp.

Soyoulookatyourself:Whatareyouwillingtotakeinfromtheteachingsoftheforestmasters?Towhatextentdoyoufeelthatyouareresponsibleforyourownsufferingandyou’dlikesomehelp?That’swhatitcomesdownto.Towhatextentdoyoutrustthem?Myownexperiencewiththemisthattheyareeminentlytrustworthy.WhenyoureadAjaanMahaBoowa’saccountofhowhetestedhisstateofmindagainandagain,tomakesurethataparticulardefilement,whenitwasgone,wasreallygone,youseetheearnestnesswithwhichtheypractice.Sotrytobringthesameearnestnesstoyourownpractice.

InapassageattheveryendofAjaanMahaBoowa’sbiographyofAjaanMun,whereherecountsAjaanMun’sfinalsermon,there’sapartwhereheusestheanalogyofawarriorgoingintobattle.Hedescribeshowthedifferentaspectsofthepracticecancorrespondtothefoodforthewarriorandthewarrior’sweapon.Discernment,hesaid,istheweapon.AsIwasreadingthepassageforthefirsttime,Ikeptthinking,“Well,who’sthewarrior?”Andhefinallygottotheconclusion:Thewarrior,hesaid,isyourdeterminationnottocomebackandbethelaughingstockofthedefilementseveragain.

Inotherwords,you’veallowedyourgreed,aversion,anddelusiontodriveyouforwhoknowshowlong.Theygetyoutodothingsthatarenotinyourowninterest.AndinAjaanLee’simage,theygetyoutodothesethingsandthen,whenthepolicecometocatchyou,theyrunaway.You’retheonelefttodealwiththeconsequencesofyouractions.They’reprobablylaughingathowgullibleyouare.Sohowmuchlongerdoyouwanttoputupwiththat?Ifyou’vedecidedyou’vehadenough,okay,herearetheteachings.Thesearetheteachingsfromtheheartsoftheajaans,fromtheheartsofthepeoplewhohavepracticedearnestly,andthey’reofferedfreelyforyourassistance,foryouraid.

Now,ofcoursetherehastobeanelementoftranslationtogothrough,evenwhentheteachingsarethereinEnglish.Everytimethere’sacommunicationfromonepersontoanother,youhavetotranslateitintoyourownheart,intoyourownissues.When

7

AjaanLeeistalkingaboutthebreath,whatdoesitcorrespondtoinyourexperience?WhenAjaanFuangnoticedthatIwashavingtroublegettingmyheadaroundtheconceptofbreathenergyinthebodythefirsttimeIwasthere—theconceptappealedtome,butIwasn’tquitesurehowtohandleit—hesaidthatitreferstothesenseoffeelingalreadytherethroughoutthebody,it’sjustamatteroflearningtorecognizethatfeelingasbreathenergy.Thenyoujuststartworkingwithwhatyoualreadyfeel,seeingitasatypeofbreath.Sotakethatconceptandseehowithelpsyoutogetthemindtosettledown.

Thequestionthatwaswaitingformetonightwas:Towhatextentdopeopleconsciouslydecidethey’regoingtotakeonajhanapractice,andtowhatextentdoesitnaturallycome?Theansweris“both,”inthesensethatwhenyou’redoingamindfulnesspractice,you’renotthinking“jhana,”butjhanaistheaimofmindfulness—tofinallygetmindfulnessreallysolidandsteady,liketheflameofanoillamp.Astheysayinthetexts,theestablishingsofmindfulness(satipatthana)arethethemesofrightconcentration.Inotherwords,whenmindfulnessisreallyestablishedandsolid,you’regoingtogetthemindintojhana.Mindfulnessgivesyouaframeofreferencetolookatwhat’shappeninginthemind,torecognizecertainstatesofmindaseitherskillfulorunskillful.Andwhenyouknowwhatthestateofmindis,thenyouknow—ifyou’vereadanythingelseintheDhamma—howyoushouldbehavetowardit:whicharethethingstoabandon,whicharethethingstodevelop,whicharethethingstocomprehend,andwhattechniquesyoucanusetogoaboutdoingthat.Asyouabandonthingsthatareunskillful,comprehendwhateversufferingyou’recreatingforyourself,anddevelopthepath,themindwillnaturallysettledown.Ingettingfarawayfromsensualthoughts,farawayfromunskillfulthoughts,themindhasthetendencytowanttosettledownandfindsomepeace.Andthere’syourjhana,regardlessofwhetheryouthoughtofitornot.

Yearsback,therewasalayDhammateacherwhowasgoingtospendsometimeintheForestRefugeanddosomeworkonthebreath.Soheaskedmeifhecouldhavesomeinterviewsoverthephone.Oneofhisfirstconditionswas,“Don’ttrytogetmetodojhana,okay?”Isaid,“Okay.”Butashestartedworkingwiththebreath,hefoundhimselfgettingintothestagesofjhanainspiteofhimself.Soit’snotnecessarythatyouthinkofjhana.Infact,jhanaisnotthetopicofjhana;thebreathisthetopic.Notoneofthefactorsofjhanaisthethought,“jhana.”Youdirectyourthoughtstothebreath,youevaluatethebreath,youevaluatetherelationshipofyourmindtothebreath,andasyougetmoreandmoreinterestedinthatoneissue,themindgathersaroundoneplace.Thenthesenseofpleasure,thesenseofrapture,willfollow.

Now,whenyouhearthesewords,whatdotheymean?Lookintoyourownexperienceandtrytogainasenseofhowthey’retalkingaboutthingshappeninginyourmind.Someofthesesensationsyou’realreadyquitefamiliarwith.Irememberonetime,whenIgotintoastateofconcentration,thattherewasacertainfeelinginmy

8

mouth.AndIsaidtomyself,“Ihaven’thadthatfeelinginmymouthsinceIwasachild”—acertainrelaxationthatIrememberedfromchildhoodandthatforsomereasonIhadforgottenduringallthoseyearsofbeingatenseteenagerandatenseyoungadult.Inmanycases,concentrationisamatterofsettlingintoareasthatyou’llfindfamiliaronceyougetthere,andsay,“Oh,thisiswhatthey’retalkingabout.”Thisishowyoutranslatethelanguageoftheirheartsintothelanguageofyourheart.

Sowhatthey’retalkingaboutisnotallthatforeign.They’retalkingabouttheirexperienceasexperiencedfromwithin.Tobenefitfromwhatthey’resaying,youbringitintoyourexperienceasyouexperienceitfromwithin.Andincaseswhereyoufindthattheirvocabularyishelpful,okay,applyit;wheretheirperceptionsarehelpful,youapplythem.It’slikelearninghowtobeaprofessionaltaster.Partofthetrainingtheyhaveforprofessionaltastersisnotonlyfordevelopingasensitivepalate,butalsoforgivingyouavocabularytodescribesmellsandtastes.Thelargeryourvocabulary,themoredistinctionsyoucanmake,andthemoresubtletiesyoucanactuallydetect.It’slikethatCalvinandHobbescartoonwhereCalvinissaying,“Ah!Thesmelloffall!It’ssoindescribable.”AndHobbessays,“No,Ithinkit’sdescribable.It’sasnorky,bramblishsmell.”AndCalvincomments,“Ishouldhaverealizedthattigers,withamoresensitivenose,wouldhaveabiggervocabularytodescribesmells.”Inotherwords,theirsensitivityiswhatgavethemtheirvocabulary.

Butsometimesitworkstheotherwayaround:Themoreextensiveyourvocabularyfordescribingyourinnerexperience,themoreyoubegintodetectthingsinyourownexperiencethatyouhadglommedtogether—thingsyouhadn’treallypaidattentionto.Asinthebook,DrawingontheRightSideoftheBrain,wheretheartteachertalksaboutteachingartstudentshowtodoveryrealisticdrawingsofpeople’sfacesbytellingthestudentsnottolookattheeyesorthenoseorthemouth,buttolookatthespacesbetweenthenoseandthemouth,thespacebetweenthenoseandtheeyes,thespacebetweentheeyeandtheeyebrow,anddepictthose:Shefoundthatpeoplewhoordinarilyhadtroubledrawingcouldactuallydoreallygooddrawingsbecausetheywerelookingatsomethingtheyhadneverreallypaidattentiontobefore,sotheyhadnopreconceivednotionsabouthowthespacebetweenyoureyeandeyebrowshouldlook.It’sbycallingattentiontothesethingsthattheybegantonoticewhatwasalreadythere.

Soalotofthislanguageoftheheartistryingtopointyourattentiontothingsthathavealwaysbeentherebutyoujustdidn’tnotice.AsIsaidearlier,yourmotivationforlisteningandabsorbingisthatyouseethatyou’resufferingandwouldliketofindawayout.Sokeepthatmotivationinmind,andkeepthatwillingnesstolearninmind,sothatwhenyoutakeinthelanguageoftheheartanditbecomesthelanguageofyourheart,itdoesn’tstopwithjustthewords—itgetstothethingsthatthewordsarepointingto,theirwholepurpose.

There’sthatwordatthainPali—whichisnotthesameasatta,whichmeansself.Thisisattha,withanh.Itmeans“goal,”butitalsomeans“meaning.”Thetwowords,

9

dhammaandattha,arepairedveryofteninThaiBuddhism,andthey’resometimespairedinthePaliCanon.Andit’sinterestingthat“meaning”and“goal”and“profit”—whichisanothermeaningofattha—allcomedowntothesameword.Inotherwords,themeaningoftheDhamma—i.e.,theatthaoftheDhamma—isalsoitsgoal.Thewordspointyoutogettothatgoal.Whenyoureachtheexperienceofthegoal,that’swhenyoucansaythatyoureallyunderstandthem.That’swhenyou’vemasteredthelanguageoftheheart.

10

TheLanguageoftheHeart(2)August29,2018

AcoupleofyearsafterAjaanFuangpassedaway,somepeoplefromBangkokcametothemonasteryandwantedtohearaboutmiracles.WhatmiracleshadweseensinceAjaanFuangpassedaway?WhatmiracleshadIseenwhilehewasalive?TherehadbeenquiteafewthingsaboutAjaanFuangthatwereuncanny.Butforthisgroupofpeople—theywerefromtheMinistryofEducation—Idecidedtosaysomethingmoreimportant,whichwasthatIthoughtitwasmiraculousthatduringallthoseyearsIwaswithhim,eventhoughIwasaWesternerandhewasaThai,healwaystreatedmeasahumanbeing,andourcommunicationwasalwaysonahumanlevel.Inotherwords,ourdifferencesinculturedidn’tseemtogetintheway.Hehadobviouscompassionformeasafellowhumanbeing.

Now,ofcourse,Ihadmyproblemsadjustingtothecultureoverthere—anditmayhavebeenbecauseIwaslearningtheDhammainasecondlanguage—buttherewassometimesafeelingattheverybeginningthatitwasalmostlikemake-believe:“Okay,we’lltakethisonasagame.”Ididn’tconsciouslythinkofthingsinquitethosetermsatthetime,butIrememberonedayinparticularwhenitreallyhitmethatthatwaswhatIhadbeendoing.Iwasgoingthroughthesixelements,whichareafairlyforeign-soundingteaching,andIsuddenlyrealized,“ThesewordsaretalkingaboutthingsthatI’mdirectlyexperiencing.”ThelanguageoftheDhammapointeddirectlyatmyexperienceofmyownbody,myexperienceofmyownmind.Somethingfrozeninmyheartsuddenlymelted.AndonlywhenIwaswillingtotakeontheteachingsatthatleveldidIfindthatIbenefittedthemost.

AndthefactthatAjaanFuangwasabletocommunicateonalevelthatwasn’tjustThai-to-Westernerwasbecausehewaslivinginlinewithwhatyoumightcallthecustomsofthenobleones.ThiswasateachingAjaanSuwatusedtoliketotalkaboutquitealot:thatwe’reherenottopracticeinlinewithWesterncustomsorThaicustomsoranybody’scustoms,exceptforthecustomsofthenobleones,becausethenobleonesaretheoneswho’vefoundhowtoputanendtosuffering.They’veunderstoodtheirmindsandheartsinawaythatallowsthemtobringsufferingtoanend.

Whatthismeansisthatwehavetolearnhowtounderstandourmindsandheartsinthatway,too.Wecan’tsay,“Well,nowthattheDhamma’scomehere,IwantDhammainlinewithmylanguageorwithmywayofseeingthings.”That’sputtingupabarrier.Afterall,nomatterwhatpost-modernistsmaysay,theBuddhawasnottryingtoexertpoweroverpeople.Hewasgivingthemawayofanalyzingtheirmindssothattheycouldunderstand,“Thisiswheresufferingcomesfrom.Thisiswhyithappens.Thisis

11

howIcanputanendtoit.”Andpartofputtinganendtoitrequiresthatyouunderstanditinthoseterms.

Thefournobletruths,thefactorsofdependentco-arising:Theseteachingsmayseemforeignatfirst,butthat’sanindicationofhowalienatedwearefromourownmindsorfromunderstandinghowourmindswork.Theseteachingsprovidepreciselythetoolsthatareusefulfortakingthoseprocessesapart:understandinghowwecreatesufferingforourselvesandhowwedon’thaveto.Sothelanguagehereisnotjustarelicofsomeattemptatpower.It’sanattempttoshowkindness.Andwe’rekindtoourselveswhenwelearnhowtoadoptthelanguageandrealizethatthesetermsarespeakingdirectlytous.Itmaytakesometimetositwiththeminpracticeuntilyouseethat“Ohyeah,it’stalkingaboutthisthingthatI’mdirectlyexperiencinginside.”Butthat’stimewellspent.

YouaresubmittingyourselftotheDhamma,buttheDhamma’snottheretoexertpoweroveryou.TheDhamma’stheretohelpyoufindthewaytoendyourownsuffering.Afterall,yourownsufferingisprobablythemostintimateproblemyouexperience.AndtheDhamma’stalkingdirectlyaboutintimateaspectsofthemind,intimateaspectsoftheheart.

ThereweretimeswhenI’ddescribeameditationexperiencetoAjaanFuangandhe’dexplainittomeindifferentterms.SometimesI’dberesistant.I’dsaytomyself,“Well,no,itactuallyseemsthiswaytome.”Ididn’tactuallysayittohim,butIthoughtit.OnlyafterIgottoknowmymindbetterdidIrealizethathewasdescribingitpreciselythewayitwashappening.ItwasbecauseofmyownblindnessthatIdidn’tseeitthatwaytobeginwith.

SotrytoopenyourhearttothelessonsoftheDhamma,andparticularlytothelessonsoftheDhammayoudon’twanttohear.Thisincludesthelessonofhowmuchefforthastogointothepractice.Ourmodernbeliefisthatwe’velearnedhowtodothingsinamuchmorestreamlinedandefficientwaythantheydidinthepast,andweoftencarrythatattitudeintotheDhamma,thinkingthatpeopleinthepastdidn’tknowhowquicklyorefficientlythesethingscouldbedone.ButtheBuddhawasthesortofpersonwho,iftherewereaneasierpathtotheendofsuffering,wouldhavetaughtit.

Buttheonlypaththatworksisapaththatrequiresrighteffort,suchasthefourbasesofsuccess,threeofwhichnowareviewedwithdisdaininWesternBuddhistcircles:desire,persistenceor“efforting,”andusingyourpowersofjudgment.TheBuddhasaidthatthesearenecessaryforsuccessinthepractice.Theonlyoneofthebasesofsuccessthatwestilltendtofollowisinintentness:thatyouhavetopayattention.Butthentheysay,“Well,there’snosuchthingassuccessornotsuccess.Everybody’salreadyawakened.”Well,no,we’renot.Ifwewerealreadyawakened,wewouldn’tbesuffering.

AndtheDhamma’snotaDhammaofmake-believe.TheBuddhadidn’tjustsit

12

aroundandthinkupideasofwhatwouldbeacoolvocabularytopasson.Heputhislifeonthelineandhetriedallkindsofapproachesbeforehefoundtheapproachthatworked.Partofthatapproachisrightview,whichmeansthatyoutakeontheopinionsofthenobleonesabouthowsufferingshouldbeunderstood.Theydon’texpectyoutoknowforyourselfjustyet,whichiswhyit’scalledrightviewratherthanrightknowledge.It’sanopinionyouadoptuntilitgivesitsresults.That’swhenitbecomesrightknowledge.

Soyou’retakingonthecultureofthenobleones,thevaluesaroundwantingtoabandonunskillfulactionsandwantingtodevelopskillfulonesintheirplace.Andwetakeontheirlanguage—whichtheajaansoftencallthelanguageoftheheart—foranalyzingwhatisskillful,what’snot.Howdothingsgetdeveloped?Howdothingsgetabandoned?Thesetoolsareallthereforourowngood,forourownhappiness.It’suptoustoopenourselvesupsothatthosetoolscanreallydotheirwork.Andit’sthenthatwerealizehowreallywelldesignedtheyare.

AjaanLeemakesacomparison.Hesaysit’slikearecipeformedicine.Ifyou’venevermadethemedicineorusedittotreatadisease,therecipedoesn’thavemuchvalueforyou.It’ssomethingthatgetsstashedawayandforgotteninapileofpapers.Butifyou’veeverrealized,“Okay,I’vegotthisdisease,thisisthemedicineIneed,Imakethemedicine,anditworks,”thenyoutreatthatpieceofpaperwithalotofrespect.Andit’sthesamewiththepractice:YoutaketheDhammaandyouputitintopractice.YoureallyapplytheBuddha’sanalysistoyourmind.Hesaidthatthisiswhyyou’resuffering.Yousay,“Okay,I’lladmitthat.I’lltakethatonandseewhathappenswhenIcanunderstandmymindusinghisvocabulary,usinghisperspective.”Whenyouseehowitreallyworks,that’swhenyouseewhywebowdowntotheBuddhasomucharoundhere.That’stheappropriateresponse.HetooktheDhammaoutofhisheart,andit’smeanttobetakenintoourhearts.That’swhenweappreciatehowgooditis—sothatwhenwechant,“TheDhammaoftheBlessedOneiswell-taught,well-expounded,”weseehowtruethatreallyis.

13

NoOneinChargeJanuary29,2016

Tomaintainitshealth,themindneedsitsownplacetorest:notjustrestinginsleep,restingwithalertness,awareness.Thatkindofplacerequiresseveralskills.Oneistheskillofjustbeingabletobequiet.Anotheristheskillofbeingabletocutawayyourinterestinthingsoutside.Somepeoplefindthistobethescarypartofthemeditation.We’vebeentaughttobelievethatourgoodnessconsistsofourbeingconcernedaboutthingsoutside,andherewearetellingourselvesthat,forthetimebeing,thosethingsdon’tmatter.Astheysayintheforesttradition,theskycouldbefallingbutwe’regoingtostayrighthereandnotletitgettous,becauseweneedapartofthemindthatthingsdon’tgetto.That’soursanity.That’soursafety.

Solearnhowtofindaspotinsidewhereyou’reateasewiththebreathandlearnhowtoprotectit.Learnhowtocatchyourthoughtsastheygorunningout,orattheveryleastcatchyourtendencytofollowthem.Theycango,butyoudon’thavetogowiththem.Youwantaspotwhereyoucanseethemgo,butyou’renotfollowingalong.You’renotgettingintothem.

Formanyofus,it’slikeacardrivingup.Thedriverstopsandsays,“Hey!Comeonin!”andyoujumpinthecarandyourideoff.Youveryrarelyask,“Who’sdriving?”“Wherearewegoing?”Thecarlooksshiny,soyouthink,“Let’sgo,”andyoujumprightin.Butnowyouwanttobeinapositionwherethethoughtsmaycomebutyoudon’tgetintothem.Andthat’snotsimplyamatterofmakingyourselfdulltotheworldordulltoyourthoughts.Infact,youhavetobeveryalerttothem,veryquicktotheirnuancestoseethevariouswaysinwhichtheymighttrytocatchyou,orthewaysinwhichyouallowyourselftobecaught.

Sometimes,whensuperficialthoughtsdon’tgetyou,theonesthatseemmoreimportantwill:Whatareyoudoingwithyourlife?Whyareyousittingherenothelpingotherpeople?Whyaren’tyougettingonwiththebigschemeofthings?Remindyourselfthat,astheBuddhasaid,therereallyisnobigschemeofthings.Samsaraisjustawandering-on,andit’sratheraimless.InthewordsofHölderlin,theGermanpoet,it’s“diverginglines.”Thelinesofourlivescometogetherandthendriftapart.Thatmaysoundscary,butit’sactuallyveryliberating.Iftherewereaplantotheuniverse,we’dhavetofigureitoutsothatwecouldfollowit.Yetobviouslyit’snotwrittendownincleartermsanywhereinnature,sowe’releftwithagameofguessing.

AstheBuddhasaid,thewandering-onjustwanders,butyoucangiveadirectiontoyourlife.You’renotobligedtofitintoanyoneelse’spatternforhowyourlifeshouldgo.Yougettomakethechoice.Now,somepeopletakethatasalicenseforallkindsof

14

misbehavior,butastheBuddhasaid,thereisapatterntothewayactionsgivetheirresultsthatdoesn’tletyousimplygetawaywiththings.Thispatternisbuiltintothenatureofaction.Ifyouactonmotivationsbasedongreed,aversion,ordelusion,there’sgoingtobesuffering.Ifyouactonmotivationsbasedonrenunciation,non-illwill,orharmlessness,itpullsyououtofsuffering.Soit’snotthecasethat,becausethere’snopurposetothings,there’snopatternatall.You’renottotallyfreetoshapethingsasyoulikeandalwaysgettheresultsyouwant.Butyoucanmasterthepatternsothatyouractionsleadtoagoodpurpose.

Thequestionthenbecomes:Whatkindofhappinessdoyouwantoutofthispattern?Wherewillyoufindsatisfaction?Wherewillyoufindfulfillment?

AstheBuddhasaid,fulfillmentcomesfromlettinggo.Severaloftheajaanshavesaidthatthepracticeisbasicallyonethingclearthrough.Itstartswithgenerosityanditendswithtotallettinggo.Butyoualsohavetoworkondeveloping—inotherwords,developingthegoodqualitiesthatwillallowyoutoletgowithskill,becauseifyouhavenothingatallinthemind,thenwhenyouletgoofthings,you’reapauper.There’snothingleftthatyoucanuse.Butifyoudevelopgoodqualitiesinthemind,thenthethingsthatyoudon’tneedanymoreyoucanputaside,butyou’renotpoor.You’llstillhavethosegoodqualities.Inotherwords,you’renotdeprivedofthemwhenyouletthemgo.They’restillthereforyoutouse.

It’sactuallybyfindingthisstrongspaceinsideus—developingitandmaintainingit—thatweputourselvesinabetterpositiontobegivingtoourselvesandgivingtotheworld.Sothisisapursuitofhappinessthat’snotirresponsible.Infact,it’sthemostresponsiblewayyoucanfindhappiness.Itallowsyoutoputasidealotofquestionsthatreallydon’thaveanyclearanswers—suchasthequestion,“WhoamI?”Iwasreadingabookawhilebacksayingthatthisisthegreatquestionofallgreatreligions:“WhoamI?”Well,they’reobviouslynotcountingwhattheBuddhataughtasagreatreligion,becauseasfarashewasconcerned,thatquestionsimplygetsyoutiedupinafetterofviews.Theimportantquestionisnot“WhoamI?”but“WhatshouldIdo—andwhatwillbetheresults?”That’saquestionthatcanbeanswered—andansweredinwaysthatreallydomakeadifferenceinyourlifeandcangetyououtoftheconfinesoftheworldentirely.

Buttogetoutoftheworldrequiresthatwefirstgivesomethingtoit,andeachofuswillhavetodecidehowandwhatwewanttogive.Somepeoplesaythatifyoutrytogetoutofthisprocessofsamsara,you’reselfish—andthatit’sbadfortheworldifpeoplethinktheycangetout.Butactuallyit’sverygoodfortheworld,becauseyoudon’tgetoutbybeingselfish.Youdon’ttakeanythingoftheworldwithyou;youhavetoleaveeverythingworldlybehind.LookattheBuddha.Hecreatedalotofgoodnessandthenheleftitbehind.Thatwashowhewasabletoentertotalnibbana.Wedon’tgettohaulanythingalongwithusintonibbana.Wecreategoodnesstoleaveitbehindasourgift.Andtheleavingbehind,whenit’sdonefromapositionofstrength,becomesagiftto

15

ourselvesaswell.Everyonebenefits.SowhentheBuddhasaysthattheworldisaimless,it’sactuallyaliberatingthought.

It’snotmeanttobedepressing.It’smeanttotellyouthatyoucanchooseyouraims.You’vegotthechoiceofhowyou’regoingtolookforhappiness,withtherealizationthat,inlinewiththeprincipleofkamma,thequalityofyourintentions,thequalityofyourdecisions,willdeterminewhetheryouactuallyfindhappinessornot,andwhatkindofhappinessit’llbe:ahappinessthatjustgetsthrownawayorahappinessthatstayswithyouassomethinginfalliblythere.

Thatopensimmensepossibilities.Ifyouweredefined,say,byyourbody,byyourpositioninsociety,orbysomethingelsethatsomeoneelsehadimposedonyou,therewouldbehugelimitationsonwhatyoucoulddo.ButtheBuddhaneverdefinespeoplebywhattheyare.Hesays,“Thisiswhatahumanbeingcando.”Andoneofthethingsahumanbeingcandoisfindtruehappiness.Andhumanbeings,intheprocess,canbegenerous,theycanbevirtuous,theycanfindtruewell-beinginsidetheirminds,andtheydon’thavetowaitforthatwell-beinguntilaftertheydie.It’srighthere.Thepossibilityisrighthere.Sobecarefulnottolimityournotionofwhat’spossibleinyourhumanlife.

There’sapassagewheretheBuddhasaysthatifyouwanttogetthemostbenefitoutofaDhammatalk,1)youdon’thavecontemptforthetalk,2)youdon’thavecontemptforthespeaker,andthen,what’sreallyinteresting,3)youdon’thavecontemptforyourself.Inotherwords,youdon’tbelittleyourpotentialsoryourcapabilities.

Thinkofwhatthisopensupforyou.There’snooneouttheremakingaplanforyou.Asthechantwerecitedjustnowsaid,“There’snooneincharge.”OrasAjaanFuangusedtosay,“Whenyouwereborn,nobodyhiredyoutobeborn,sothere’snoonewhocantellyouwhatyouhavetodowithyourlife.You’renobody’sservant.”Now,theprincipleofkammacreatesapatternofresponsibilitythatyoucan’tignore.Sotakingthatintoconsideration,whatdoyouwantoutoflife?Thechoiceisyours.Andherearethetools,thetoolsofthemeditation:developingtranquility,developinginsight.Thesewillhelpyouchoosewell.

16

TakeGoodAimJanuary9,2016

TheBuddhacomparesthediscernmentthatcomesfrommeditationtotheskillsofbeingagoodarcher.You’reabletoshootlongdistances,fireaccurateshotsinrapidsuccession,andpiercegreatmasses.Inotherwords,youseethelong-termresultsofwhatyou’redoing,orofdifferentpossiblecoursesofaction,sothatyoucanchoosewhichisgoingtobethebestinthelongterm.That’slikeshootinggreatdistances.Firingaccurateshotsinrapidsuccessionmeansbeingveryclearaboutwhat’sgoingoninthemind,momenttomoment,andespeciallyclearaboutwhensufferingisarisingthere,howit’sarising,andhowitcanbebroughttoanend.Becausethemindcanchangesoquickly,youwanttobeabletoseeitveryquickly.Piercinggreatmassesmeanspiercingthemassofignorance.

Now,ingeneral,tobeagoodarcher,youhavetohaveareallygood,concentratedmind.Foryouraimtobegood,youhavetobeabletostareatthetargetforlongperiodsoftimewithoutwavering,withoutblinking.It’ssimilartothequalityofmindthatmakesagoodpotter.IwaswatchingapotteronetimeinThailandashemadeapotonawheel.Isaidtohim,“Youmusthavegoodconcentration.”Hesaid,“Yourmindhastobeconstant.”Inotherwords,youcan’twaver.

Thisisoneofthereasonswhywe’reworkingonconcentration—todevelopthatsteady,constant,unwaveringqualityoffocusthatenablesourdiscernmenttodoitswork.Andwhatistheworkofdiscernment?Tounderstandourcravings.Aswechantedjustnow,themindisusuallyaslavetocraving.We’reslavestocravingsbecausewedon’tunderstandthem.Wehaven’tpiercedthem.Wehaven’twatchedthemquicklyorcarefullyastheychange.So,often,wemisunderstandourowncravings.

Sometimeswebecomeapersonwedon’tevenrecognize.Acertaincravingtakesoverand,astheBuddhasays,cravingleadstobecoming.Andwhatisbecoming?It’stheactofcreatinganidentityinacertainworldofexperienceortakingonanidentitybasedonyourdesires.Theidentityhereiseitherthe“you”who’sgoingtoenjoytheresultsofthedesire,orthe“you”who’sgoingtobeabletoproducethoseresults.ThisiswhytheBuddhahasusaskeveryday,“Daysandnightsflypast,flypast.WhatamIbecomingrightnow?”Whateveryou’rebecoming,itgrowsoutofyourdesiresandyourcravings.Andifyoudon’tknowthem,thenevenwhat“youare”fliesoutofyourcontrol.

Sometimespeoplecome,asking,“WhoamI?”That’sthebigspiritualquestion,we’retold,or“What’sthepurposeoflife?What’sthemeaningoflife?”AndtheBuddhistansweris,basically,youarewhatyoudefineyourselftobe,andyourpurpose

17

inlifeiswhatyoudecideit’sgoingtobe.There’snooverarchingpurposetotheuniverse.RemembertheBuddha’svisionoftheuniverse—itjustkeepsgoingthroughmanycycles,aroundandaroundandaround.Itgoesnowhere.Andthebeingswithintheuniversegoaroundandaround,too.Theywanderhereandthere,butkeepcomingbackandthengoingonandkeepcomingbackagain.Iftheydon’tgetout,theydon’tgoanywhere,either.Andasforwhatyouare,thatkeepschanginginlinewithyourdesires.

Now,somepeoplefindthisscary,buttheBuddhasawitasanopportunity.Youcandefineyourdesiresinsuchawaythatyougiveyourownmeaningtoyourlife,ameaningthat’sgood.Iftherewereanoverallpurposetotheuniverse,you’dhavetoservethatpurposeregardlessofwhatthatpurposemeantintermsofyourhealth,well-being,andhappiness.Thequestionofputtinganendtoyoursufferingwouldhavetobeputofftotheside,becauseyou’dhavetoservesomeotherpurpose.Butwiththeuniversebeingmeaningless,youcangivemeaningtoyourlifebysaying,“I’mgoingtoputanendtosuffering.”Thenyoucandefineyourselfaroundthat.Makethatyourdesire,becauseit’sanobledesire.

You’llfind,ofcourse,thatsomemembersofthecommitteeofthemindhavelotsofotherdesiresaswell,mostofwhicharebasedonverystrangeideasofwhat’spossibleintheworld.Now,youcan’tsimplymakeupyourmindaboutthewaythingsaregoingtobe.Youcan’tmakeupyourmind,say,thatyou’regoingtobeasexaddictandhaveperfecthappiness,too.Theuniversedoesn’tworkthatway.Yourminddoesn’tworkthatway.Thisiswhywehavetheteachingsontheprinciplesofaction—toremindourselves,“Thisishowthingswork.”Ifyouactonthiskindofdesireorthiskindofmotivation,it’sgoingtohavethesekindsofresults.Ifyouhavethatkindofintentionandactonit,it’llhavethosekindsofresults.TheBuddhalaysitallout.Andthensaysit’suptous:Whichdoyouwanttochoose?

Theotherthinghelaysoutiswhat’spossible.Intheexampleofhislife,heshowsthatitispossibletoputanendtosuffering,andyoucandoitinawaythatdoesn’tharmanyoneelse.Infact,whenyoulookathislife,youcanseethathecreatedalotofgoodfortheworld.HesetouttheDhammatoshowpeoplehowtheycanputanendtotheirownsuffering.Hecreatedamonasticordersothatthisskillcouldbetaughtfromgenerationtogenerationasalivingapprenticeship.Hedidalotofworktoshowus:Thisiswhathumanbeingscando.

Soit’sgoodthatwekeepthatinmind,becausetherestoftheworldwantstocloseoffalotofoptions—andnotonlytheworldoutsideoftheDhamma,butalsotheworldofwhatpassesforBuddhismhereintheWest.AlotoftheteachersaretryingtocloseofftheoptionsthattheBuddhaopenedup.Fortunately,youcan’tclosethem.Forpeoplewhoarelookingforthem,they’restillthere.

Andyouhavetheopportunitytodefineyourself.Whatareyoubecomingrightnow?Whenyoumakeupyourmindthatyouwanttoputanendtosuffering,youhavetodealwiththeother“yous”intherethatarecreatedarounddifferentdesires.Thisiswhy

18

wehavetofireshotsinrapidsuccessionandbeaccurate,becauseourcravingsareverysubtleandquick.

Alltoooftenyoumaythinkyoudesireonething,orhaveacravingforonething,butthenwhenyougetit,yourealizethat’snotwhatyouwanted.Ifyou’relustingforaparticularperson,say,youthinkthatthepersonistheobjectofyourdesire.Butifyougettheperson,thingsoftendon’tgothewayyouthoughttheywould.“ThisisnotthepersonIthoughtIwasgetting.ThisisnotthestoryIwasimagining.”Soyouhavetolookbackagain.Whatwasitthatyouwereactuallydesiring?Whatwasyourcravingreallyaimedat?Thesethingsshiftveryquickly—thenarrativeyouhad,thefantasiesyouhad.Whatexactlygotyouinterested?Whatwasthehook?Aperception?Afeeling?Howdidtheygetassociatedwiththatperson?

Thesamewithanger:You’reangrybecausethingsareacertainwayandyouwantthemtochange.Well,supposeyouactuallygotthemtochange.Youmightfindthatthatdoesn’treallysatisfyyou.Therewassomethingelsethatyouwanted.Andso,hereyouare,beingdefinedbyyourdesiresandyoudon’tevenknowwhatyourdesiresareaimedatorwheretheyactuallylead.

Sowegetthemindreallyquiettoseetheseshiftsinthedesire.AjaanMahaBoowatalksaboutthis.Hecontemplatedthefoulnessofthebodyasawayofovercominglust.Hegotsothathewasreallyquickatit.Butthenherealizedthattheproblemwasn’twiththeobject.Therewassomethinginhismindthatlikedtheperceptionofbeauty.Theproblemwasn’tthebodyofthispersonorthatpersonoutthere.Itwashisbeinghookedontheperceptionofbeauty,somethingtotallyinternal.Thinkaboutthisforaminute.Wecreatelotsofhavoc,notonlyinourownlives,butalsointhelivesofothers,simplybecausewedon’tevenknowwhatourdesiresare.Wethinkwewantsomethingandwefindout,“Well,that’snotwhatIwant,”andwewanttothrowitaway.Webargethroughlifelikethis,creatinghugemesses.

Sogettingtoknowyourowndesiresandgainingsomecontroloverthemrequiressittingdownveryquietlywithamindthat’ssteadyandsolid,andlookingatwhatyoureallywantinlife.You’vegotthechoice.Chooseyourdesireswellsothatyoucreategoodbecomings.Ultimately,ofcourse,astheBuddhasaid,thebestthingtodoistogobeyondbecomingthispersonorbecomingthatperson.Witharahants,ashesaid,youcan’tdefinethembecausepeopledefinethemselvesaroundtheirdesiresandtheirattachments,whereassomeonewhohasnodesires,noattachments—becausethey’vefoundtruehappiness—can’tbedefined.Asfarasthey’reconcerned,thequestionofwhotheyareisanon-question.Thequestionofwhathappinesscanbefoundinthecontextofworldsisanon-question.Andasforpurposeinlife,they’veachievedthatpurpose.Theyhavenofurtherpurposesfortheirownsake.Theironlyremainingpurposescenteronhelpingothersintheirquestfortheirhighestpurpose.

We’renotthereyet.We’restillonthepath,butthegoodnewsisthatwegettochooseourpurpose.Thebadnewsiswegettochooseourpurpose.Inotherwords,if

19

we’rereallysloppyinourchoices:Astheysay,becarefulwhatyouwantbecauseyoumightgetit.Soyouwanttotrainyourself,bothintermsoftheconcentrationthatseesthingssteadily,andthediscernmentthatshootsgreatdistances:seeingclearlythat“ifIchoosethiscourseofaction,thisiswhereit’sreallygoingtogo.”Thisisthediscernmentthathelpstogetyoupasttheusualmuddledperceptionswhereyouthink,“Well,IthinkImightwantthisperson,”or,“IthinkIwantthissituation,”andyoutrytogetitanditdoesn’tturnouttobewhatyouthoughtitwas.Oritwaswhatyouthoughtitwas,butyoureallyhadotherideasinmind.Youwereactuallyfixatedonsomethingelse.

Inthisway,theabilitytofireshotsinrapidsuccessionactuallyconnectswiththatabilitytoshootgreatdistances,andtopiercegreatmasses.Youbreakthroughyourignorancesothatyouseethelong-termresultsofquickchangesinthemind.

Andyoucleanupyourownlife.Yougiveitagooddirectionandyoustopmakingamessofotherpeople’slives.Thisiswhythisisagoodpath.It’sgood—notonlyforyou,butalsoforthepeoplearoundyou—thatyou’refollowingthispath.Sotrytotakeadvantageofthefreedomyouhave.Yougettodefineyourself.Yougettodefinethepurposeofyourlife.KeeptheBuddha’soptionsinmindastowhatthepossibilitiesareandmakethebestchoicesyoucan.

20

TheEndoftheWorldNovember30,2016

AsRatthapalasaidinhisDhammasummaries,“Theworldissweptaway.”Wehavetomakesurethatwedon’tgetsweptawaywithit.

Theproblem,ofcourse,isinthatlastoftheDhammasummaries:“Theworldisaslavetocraving.”Inotherwords,we’reslavestocraving,whichiswhywekeepgoingbackforthesethingsthatgetswept,swept,sweptaway.

Now,thefortunatethingisthatwe’renottrappedhere.Wedon’thavetostayhere.Infact,thewholepurposeoftheteachingistogetout.

TheideathatBuddhismisheretocreateaperfectworldwhereeverybodyiskindandgenerous,hasnothingtodowithwhattheBuddhaactuallytaught.ThewholeideaofasecularBuddhism,wheretheemphasisisonourlivingthegoodlifehereinthisworld,isanoxymoron.TheBuddhawasaimingatsomethingabovetheworld.Lokuttara,thewordwetranslateas“transcendent,”actuallymeans,“abovetheworld.”You’vegottomakeyourmindabovetheworld.

Otherwise,yougetcrushed—thinkofallthosemountainsmovingin,inthesimiletheBuddhataughttoKingPasenadi.Ifwewerejustphysicalbodies,withthemindjustanepiphenomenonofphysicalprocesses,it’dbeprettymiserable.Themountainswouldcomein,they’dcrushus,andthat’dbetheend.

ButrememberKingPasenadi’sreactiontotheBuddha’simage.AstheBuddhaaskedhim,“Ifsomeoneweretotellyouthatmountainsweremovinginfromfourdirections,crushingeverythingintheirpath,then—reflectingonhowharditistogainahumanrebirth—whatwouldyoudo?”Andthekingsaid,"Well,whatelsecouldIdobutcalmmymindandpracticetheDhamma?”

Inotherwords,youdon’tletyourgoodnessdie.RemembertheBuddha’sanalysisofwhataworldis:yoursixsenses.Andremember

thatsamsaraisnotaplace.It’sanactivity.It’smadeoutofyouractions.That’swherethedangerlies—inyouractions—butit’salsowherethepromiselies.

Ifwewerejustphysicalthingsdefinedbytheworld,there’dbenowaywecouldusetheprocessesofthephysicalworldtogetoutofthephysicalworld.Butbecausetheworldismadeofouractions,wecanusetheprocessesofactionstogetoutofthiswebofactionsthatwe’vewovenforourselves.

Thisiswherethefactofthecomplexityofkammaactuallyworkstoouradvantage.Itdoeshaveadisadvantageinthatoftenwe’reveryconfusedastowhat’sgoingtobehelpful.Somethinglooksgoodandlooksokayandwedoitandthenwefindoutquitea

21

whilelaterthatitwasn’tgoodatallinthelongterm.Butthecomplexityofkammaalsogivesusfreedomofchoice.AndwehavetheBuddhaandwehavetheDhammatogiveussomebasicinstructionsastowhat’sskillfulandwhat’snot,atthesametimeteachingushowtodevelopthequalitiesofmindwherewecanstarttoseethesethingsforourselves.

That’swhenyoubegintorealizethatyoucanuseyouractionstotakeapartthiswebofactions.AstheBuddhasaid,thenobleeightfoldpathisthepathofactionstotheendofaction.It’sthefabricatedpathtotheunfabricated.Thecomplexityofkammamakesthatpossible.

Andso,likeKingPasenadi,youfocusinonyouractionsrightnow.Asthingsgetsweptawayintheworld,youwanttomakesurethatyoufocusonwhat’sreallyimportant,whatyoureallyareresponsiblefor,whichiswhatyou’redoingrightnow,whatyou’resaying,whatyou’rethinkingrightnow.Youalsofocusontheskillsyoucandevelopwhiledoingthis,becausethoseskillswillholdyouingoodstead.Insomecases,they’llactuallymakeallthedifferencehereinthispresentworld.

ThinkofthecaseoftheShackletonexpeditiontotheAntarctic.Theirshiphadbeencrushedbytheice.Therewasnobodytheretohelpthem.Itwasjusttheminthevast,empty,frozenwilderness.Theyhadtohaultheirsmallboatsacrosstheice,andthentheicegotslushyanddifficult.Buttheykeptatit.Everyoneintheteamknewwhathehadtodoandhejustdidit.Theydidn’tthinkaboutwhethertheywouldcomeoutornot:Infact,mostofthemthoughttheywerenotgoingtosurvive.Buttheyknewthatattheveryleastwhattheywoulddointhepresentmomentcouldmakeadifference,wouldhavethepossibilityofmakingadifference,sotheystuckwiththat.

Theykeptdoingwhattheyhadtodo,hadtodo,hadtodo,whatthey’dbeentrainedanddisciplinedindoing,andthatdidmakeallthedifference.Theyactuallywereabletogetout,andnobodydied.

Sothat’sonepoint:Thegoodnessyoudocanmakeallthedifferencerighthereandrightnowastowhatkindofworldyou’relivingin.

TheThaishaveaverystrongbelief,andIthinkit’sright,thatoneofthereasonstheywereabletoescapealotofthehorrorsofthetwentiethcenturywasbecausetheyharboredgoodmonks,goodpeoplepracticingtheDhamma.Thatprotectedthemfromallkindsofthings.

Now,incaseyourpastkammaisnotgood,thingsgetreallybad,andyoudie:Rememberthatyou’redevelopingskillsrightnowthat’llholdyouingoodsteadevenafterdeath.Allthequalitiesoftheseventreasuresarequalitiesyoucandevelopandtakewithyou.

There’sanotherstoryaboutpeoplebeingsweptaway.TherewasagroupofInuitthatBarryLopeztalksaboutinArcticDreams.AnInuitfamilywasonanicefloe,partoftheiceshelf,andallofasuddenthefloegotseparatedfromtheiceshelfandwasswept

22

awaybythecurrentsinabigstorm.Theydidn’tcomeback,anddidn’tcomeback,andeverybodyelseintheInuitvillageassumedthattheyhadalldied.

Thenayearorsolater,theyshowedup,paddlingbackintheirkayaks.Whathadhappenedwasthattheiroriginalkayaksandalltheirotherbelongingshadbeendestroyed.Theyfoundthemselveswashedashoreinaplacewheretheydidn’thavetheusualtreesorskinsthattheycouldusetomakegoodclothingandkayaks.Buttheyfoundothertrees,otherskins,andsotheyusedtheskillsthattheyhaddevelopedtomakeeverythingtheyneededoutofmakeshiftmaterials.

Astheypaddledbackintothevillage,theywerealllaughingaboutwhatsorry-lookingkayakstheyhadandwhatsorry-lookingclothingtheywerewearing,buttheyhadsurvivedonthestrengthoftheirskills.

SothinkofthisasyoupracticetheDhamma:You’redevelopingtheskillsthatwillholdyouingoodsteadwhereverthecurrentsofkammamaywashyouup.That’sanimagefromAjaanLee:InThaihesays,kamsatpai,whichmeansthatyourkammacanthrowyouuponabeachsomeplacelikearoguewave.Butashesaid,ifyouhavediscernment,theneveniftheonlyotherthingyouhaveisamachete,thenyoucansetyourselfupinlife.Inotherwords,you’vegottheskills,you’vegottheknowledge,theinquisitiveness,asenseofgenerosity,alltheseothertreasuresthatyou’vedeveloped:Thosewillseeyouthrough.

Lookattheforestajaansthemselves.Theywerebornintoverypoorcircumstances.Despiteallthegoodthey’ddoneinthepast,theystillhadsomebadkamma.TheywerebornatthebottomofthetotempoleinThaisociety:peasantsupinthenortheast.Yettheyhadapastcurrentthatwasalsogood,thathelpedthemtobestraightforward,honest,andwiseinseeingwhatwasreallyworthwhileandwhatwasnot.WhentheylearnedtheDhamma—whenAjaanMunfoundtheDhammaandthenbroughtittoteachthem—theyrecognizeditasthegenuinething.Anditinspiredthem.Theywereabletobecomethegreatajaanswebowdowntotoday.

Sohavefaithinwhatyou’redoingandintheskillsyou’redevelopinghere,becausetheycanseeyouthrough,evenwheneverythingelsestartscollapsingandthemountainscomemovingin.Andremember:Themindisnotcrushedbymountains.Yourgoodnessiscrushedonlybyyourowndiscouragement,byyourownlackoffaith,yourlackofconviction,lackofpersistence.Thosearethethingsthatcrushyou,andyetthosearealsothingsyoucandosomethingabout.

Themountainskeepmovingin,movingin.Theworldissweptaway.It’sthenatureoftheworld.Ifthenorthmountaindoesn’tgetyou,thesouthmountainwill.Buttheygetjustyourbody.Sofocusonyourmind:That’syourimportantrefuge.Alltheskillsyoudevelopasyoupractice:Thoseareyourrefuge.Thosedon’tgetsweptaway.

Rememberwheretheescapeis.Theescapeisinside.Youcan’tescapetheworld,astheBuddhasaid,bygoingtotheedgeofthecosmos.Hehadthatimageofthe

23

skywalker—aninterestingtermthatgotpickeduplaterbysomemoviemakershere—someonewhoseeverystridecouldbemeasuredinmiles,andwhocouldstride,stride,strideacrosstheuniverse.Andashesaid,evenifyouwereaskywalkerandhadahundred-yearlifespan,youwouldn’tcometotheendoftheuniverse.

Buthealsosaidthatyoucancometotheendoftheworldinside.There’saspotinthemind,there’sadimension,ashecallsit,wheretheworldhasnofooting.That’stheendoftheworld.That’shereinsideyou.

Somepeoplesaythatyourquestforfindingthatendoftheworldisselfish,andthatyoushouldbeouttheretryingtokeepthemountainsawayforalittlebitlonger.Butyouhavetorememberthattofindthatspotinside,generosityisoneoftheprerequisites,oneofyourinnertreasures.Wedon’tleavetheworldbytrashingit.Wedevelopgenerosity,wedevelopvirtue,allthethingsthatmakehumanlifegood.Butwedoitinsuchawaythatgetsusout,becauseoutsidetheworldisalotbetterthanin.

24

AjaanSuwat’sGiftApril5,2017

TheThaiphrase,“Don’tbeselfish,”literallymeans,“Don’tlookafteryourself,”asopposedtolookingafterthecommongood.AjaanSuwatalwaysquestionedthatphrase,because,afterall,whoelseareyougoingtolookafter?You’vegottolookafteryourself.Infact,you’rethepersonyouhavetolookaftermorethananybodyelse.Butthat’snottellingyoutobeselfish.It’ssayingthatyouhavetolookafteryourselfwisely—whichmeansthatyoudevelopgoodqualitiesofmind,suchasgenerosityandvirtue,thatactuallyhelpotherpeople,too.Butyoudohavetolookafteryourself,becausenobodyelsecandoitforyou.AstheBuddhasaid,whenyougetyourselfasarefuge,yougetarefugethat’shardtofind.Ifyoudon’thavethatrefuge,hesaid,whoelsecouldyourrefugebe?

OrasAjaanSuwatputitanothertime,weeachhaveonepersonintheworld,i.e.,theonepersonwe’reresponsiblefor.Andthatpersonisus.We’reresponsibleforourthoughts,ourwords,ourdeeds.Wecan’tberesponsibleforanybodyelse’s.Yetalltoooftenthat’swhatwe’reconcernedabout.Wewanttostopsomebodyelsefromdoingthis,orencouragethemtodothat,withoutturningaroundtolook,well,arewedoingwhat’sright?

Thisiswhywetrainourminds,becauseouractionscomefromhere.Thisistheareaforwhichweareresponsible.Wedevelopqualitieslikemindfulness,ardency,andalertnesssothatwecanseewhatwe’redoingandrecognizewhetherwhatwe’redoingisrightorwrong.Andthenwehavethestrengthtoadmitamistake,anddowhatwecannottorepeatthemistake.Inotherwords,ifsomethingwelikedoingisgoingtogivebadresults,wehavetofigureoutwaystopreventourselvesfromdoingit.Ifsomethingwedon’tlikedoingisgoingtogivegoodresults,wehavetotalkourselvesintodoingthat.Alargepartofthewisdomofardencyisrightthere.

AjaanSuwatwasonceaskedwhyBuddhismdidn’thaveagod.IfonlyBuddhismhadagod,thepersonsaid,itwouldgivepeopleasenseofreassurancethattherewassomebodyouttherelookingoutforthemwhentheycouldn’tquitemakeitontheirown.AjaanSuwat’sresponsewas,“Ifthereweresomegodwhocouldordainthatif,whenItookamouthfuloffood,everybodyintheworldwouldgetfull,Iwouldbowdowntothatgod.”Butwe’renotconnectedthatway.Forallthattheysayaboutourbeinginterconnected,theinterconnectionsareactuallyacauseofsuffering.We’reinterconnectedtopeoplewhocandoalotofharm.We’reinterconnectedtoaworldthatcansnuffusoutveryeasily.Allweneedisanearthquakeoratsunami:It’sasiftheEarthisshruggingalittlebit,andthousandsofpeoplecandie.

25

Soit’snotthecasethatthisinterconnectedsystemisdesignedforthewell-beingofeverybody.Iteatseverybodyup.Andeverybodyelseiseatingeverybodyup,too.Soourbestcontributiontotheinterconnectedsystemistogetout,andtobeagoodexampletoothersingettingout.It’snotthatwedon’thopeforotherpeopletofindthewayoutaswell.Wehopethattheywill.That’swhywespreadthoughtsofgoodwilleveryday,thinking,“Mayallbeingsbehappy,”primarilysothatwecankeepwatchoverourownactions,andthenrealizingthat,towhateverextentwecanhelpothers,we’rehappytohelp.Butithastostarthere.Ifyou’regoingtotellpeopletherightwaytocookanegg,maybeit’sgoodfirsttoknowhowtocookaneggyourself.

Soeverythingkeepscomingbacktoyouractions,righthere,rightnow,righthere,rightnow.

WhentheBuddhawastalkingabouttheevolutionoftheworld,thedevolutionoftheworld—inotherwords,howsocietydevelopsandthenhowitdeclines—hekeptsayingthatitallcomesfromtheactionsofbeings.Ourinterconnectedactionsarewhatcreatetheworldatlarge.Butthen,theworldofyourexperienceistheresultofyouractions,inanareathatyoudon’tsharewithanybodyelse.Youknowthatoldquestionaboutwhetherthewayyouseebluelooksthesamewayasotherpeopleseeblue?Youdon’tknow,andthere’snowayyoucouldeverknow.Now,blue’snotarealissue,butpainis.Thepainyoufeel,nobodyelsecanfeelforyou.Theycanseethesignsthatyouhavepainandtheycansympathizewithyou,buttheycan’treallyfeelyourpain.

SowhentheBuddhasaystofocusontheissueofwhyyou’resuffering,he’ssayingtofocusonthisareaofyourawareness,theareathatyoudon’tsharewithanyoneelse.Andlookinhereaswellforthecauseofthesuffering,andalsoforthesolution.Inotherwords,it’snotthecasethatwesufferbecauseofthingsoutside.Therecanbebadthingsoutside,butwedon’thavetosufferfromthem.Wesufferfromthembecauseofourownlackofskill,ourownlackofunderstanding.Sothecauseisinside,butthesolutioncanalsobefoundinside,inthequalitiesyoudevelop:virtue,concentration,anddiscernment,basedonafoundationofgenerosityandgoodwill.Righthereiswheretherealworkhastobedone.Andwhentheworkisdonehere,tothepointwhereyouhavesomethingsolidinside,thenyoucanshare.

Uptothatpoint,youreallyhavetoworkon,asAjaanSuwatwouldsay,“getting”yourself.Hewouldoftencomment,asweweregettingthemonasterystarted:“We’renotheretogetanybodyelse.We’reheretogetourselves.”Andbythathemeant,we’renotgoingtogooutofourwaytomakethingsattractiveortochangethings—tochangetheDhammaorchangetheVinaya—inordertoappealtopeopletogetthemtocome.WeusetheDhamma,weusetheVinaya,topractice.Andifanyoneelsewantstopracticethatway,we’rehappytohavethemcome.Butthere’snoneedtogorunningoutandtryingtogetpeopletocomein.Ashesaid,it’snotthathecouldn’tthinkofwaysofattractingpeopletothemonastery,buteverytimehedid,ifithadnothingtodowiththeDhammaandtheVinaya,hefeltashamed.HewouldthinkofAjaanMun,of

26

whatAjaanMunmightthink.Butlookatwhatwe’vegotasaresult:We’vegotamonasterythat’sgrown.Hedied

fifteenyearsago,asoftoday,butthemonasteryisstillgoing.Soeventhoughhewaslookingafterhimself,we’rebenefitingfromthat.That’showrealhelpfulnessintheDhammahappens:bylookingafteryourownthoughts,words,anddeeds,andspecifically,bylookingafteryourmind.That’showtheDhammaisspread.Inotherwords,it’sspreadbyactualactions,notjustbywords.

TherewasapiecerecentlyabouthowBuddhistsoughttogetoffoftheircushionandgetoutthereintheworldanddealwiththerealcausesofsuffering,whicharerootedinsociety.Buttheauthorwastotallymissingthepoint.Therealcausesareinhere.TheBuddhahimselfsawthatyoucouldchangetheworld,butitwouldneverbeenoughforpeople.Ashesaid,evenifitrainedgoldcoins,itwouldn’tbeenoughforoneperson’ssensualdesires.Sothepursuitofanidealoraperfectworldoutthereisnever-ending.Andalotofpeople,increatingaperfectworld,cancreatealotofmessesandharmforotherpeople.ThewordforperfectionthattheyuseintheCanonappliestoqualitiesyoudevelopinthemind.That’swhereperfectioncanbefound.Theworldisalwaysgoingtobeimperfect,butthereissuchathingasperfecthappiness.Anditdoesn’tharmanyone.Itdoesn’tplaceanyburdensonanyoneatall.

TheBuddhagivesusthattestforwhatcountsasDhamma.First,intermsofthegoal,ithastoreleasethemindfromfettersandfrompassion—inotherwords,toinducedispassion.Second,therearethethingsyoudotoattainthatgoal.Youhavetolearnhowtobecontentwithgettingjustyourbasicneedsmet.Youhavetolearnhowtoshedallofyourunhealthyconceit,unhealthypride,anythoughtsofgettingbackatotherpeople,andyouhavetoputfortheffort.Third,youalsohavetothinkabouthowyourpracticehasaneffectonotherpeople.Youwanttostayunentangled,unburdensome.That’showyoutesttheDhamma,byseeingitsimpactinthesethreeareas.ThetrueDhammaisaDhammathatmakesyouself-reliantandmakesyoulessofaburdenonotherpeople,butthepurposehereisreallytogetout.

YoumightsaytheBuddhawasanescapist,buthewasescapistinthebestsenseoftheword.Hesawallthedangersthatwecreateforourselvesandforotherpeoplebystayinginthesystem.Ashesaid,thisisasystemwhereeatingisbuiltintoit.Andsoyouwanttolookfortheescape.Andinfindingit,youleaveatrailbehindforotherpeople.

So,trytolookafteryourselfinthebestsenseoftheword,withwisdomanddiscernment,compassion,andalltheothergoodqualitiesthatarerequiredtoreallylookafteryourselfproperly.AjaanSuwatgaveusanexample,andlet’shopethatwecanbeanexampletoothers.

27

SpreadGoodnessAroundDecember29,2016

There’saPaliwordpuñña,whichdoesn’tgetmuchgoodpressintheWest,largelybecauseit’stranslatedas“merit,”whichsoundslikemeritbadgesorBrowniepoints.Whenpeoplehearaboutit,itsoundslikeaverymaterialisticattitudetowardtrainingthemind,gatheringupasmanypointsasyoucan.

Maybeweshouldtranslateitinanotherway:InonebookItranslateditas“innerquality”or“innerworth.”Youcanalsotranslateitsimplyas“goodness,”whichunfortunatelyisawordthatalsodoesn’tgetusedmuchanymore.

Awhileback,IwentontoAmazonandItypedindifferentwordslike“honesty”and“truth”and“goodness”intotheSearchbox,justtoseewhatwouldcomeup.“Truth”wastheworst:bookafterbookclaimingtotellusthetruthaboutdiseasesandpoliticians,allofwhichseemedtohaveverylittletodowiththetruth.“Goodness”ledtorecipebooks:howtomakegoodcakesandotherbakedgoods.That’swhat“goodness”hascometomeaninourculture.

Butstopandthinkaboutit:Whatwereallyneedisanothertypeofgoodness,goodnessoftheheart.We’dlikealifeinwhichthere’sthatkindofgoodness,insideandout—alifeinwhichwecangiveofourgoodness.That’swhatpuññaisallabout:creatinggoodnessintheworldthroughdevelopingourowninnergoodness.

Traditionallytherearethreemaintypes:generosity,virtue,andmeditation.Thismeansthatrightnowaswe’remeditatingwe’remakingpuññaor“doing”puñña.AstheBuddhasaid,don’tbeafraidofactsofpuñña.They’reanotherwordforhappiness.

That’swhatit’sallabout:findinghappinessinawaywhereyou’renottakinganythingawayfromanyoneelse.Infact,you’reactuallyfindinghappinessthroughgiving.Thisisthekindofhappinessthatcreatesasenseofunityintheworld.Thehappinessthatcomesfromhavingthingsrequiresthatyouhavesomethingbutsomebodyelsedoesn’thaveit.Andthatcreatesdivisions.Butinthecaseofgenerosity,virtue,andmeditation,therearenodivisions,noboundaries.Thehappinessspreadsaround;thegoodnessspreadsaround.

Takegenerosityforexample.Usuallyit’samatterofgivingmaterialthings,butitalsocoversgenerosityofotherkindsaswell.Yougiveofyourknowledge,yougiveofyourtime,yougiveofyourenergy,yougiveyourforgiveness:Theseareallgoodthingstogiveandtheydon’tneedtocostanymoney.

Andthenicethingaboutgenerosityisthatit’stotallyfree.Inotherwords,theBuddhadoesn’tplaceanyconstraintsonit.Hesaidthatifyoutrytopreventsomeone

28

fromgivingtosomeoneelse,you’recreatingobstaclesforallthreeparties:thegiver,thereceiver,andyourself.

SowhenKingPasenadiaskedhim,“Whereshouldagiftbegiven?”hereplied,“Givewhereyoufeelinspiredoryoufeelitwouldbewell-used.”Thenthekingwentontoaskhim,“Whenagiftisgiven,wheredoesitgivegreatfruit?”AndtheBuddhasaid,“That’sanotherquestionentirely.Youwanttogivetopeoplewhoarefreeofgreed,aversion,anddelusion,orworkingongettingridoftheirgreed,aversion,anddelusion.”

Inaddition,yougiveinawaythatyou’renotharminganyone.Inotherwords,youdon’tstealsomethingtogive.Youdon’tgivegiftstopeoplewhoareactuallygoingtobeharmedbyusingthem,andyoudon’tharmyourselfintheprocess.Butwhereyouwanttogive,whoyouwanttogiveto,whatyouwanttogive:That’samatteroffreechoice.

Andthat’sanimportantpoint:TheBuddhaneverpressuredanybodytogive.Whenhetalkedonthetopicofgenerosity,itwasafterpeoplehadgivensomething,tomakethemrejoiceinthefactthatthey’ddonesomethinggood.Hewastryingtomakethepointthatwedohavefreedomofchoice,andthatthefreedomtogivefeelsreallygood.Thetimeswhenyougivebecauseyouhavetogivedon’tfeelnearlyasgoodasthetimeswhen,simplyoutofthegoodnessofyourheart,youwanttogive.Yourealizeyouhavesomethingthatotherscouldusewell,andyou’rehappytogiveittothem.

Thisrelatestohisteachingsonkamma,thatwedohavefreedomofchoiceinthepresentmoment.Thepeoplewhosaidthattherewasnoworthingivingsaid,“Well,ifeverybody’spredeterminedtodowhateverthey’regoingtodo,thenthosewhogiveandthosewhodon’tgive:it’ssimplyamatterofthestarsorthecreatoroftheworldorpastactionsforcingthemtodothat.Sothere’snovirtueingiving.”ButtheBuddha’ssaying,“No,thereisvirtueingivingbecauseyou’renotpredetermined.You’refreetochoose.”

He’salsosayingthatthepeopletowhomyougivehaveworth.It’snotthatthere’snothingthereorthatthepeoplegetwipedoutatdeath.Theydon’t.Theymoveontowherevertheircravingstakethem.Andsowhenyouhelpsomebody,yougivesomethingtosomeonewho’sgoingtobelastingforalongtime.

Givingisalsoagoodtopicforcontemplation.AstheBuddhasaid,whenyourpracticeisgettingdiscouraging,stopandreflectonyourgenerosity,onthefactthatitprovesthatyouatleasthavesomegoodnesstoyou.Ifyoutrytothinkaboutthetimeswhenyouweregenerouswhenyoudidn’thavetobe,butyoucan’tthinkofany,well,gooutandbegenerous.Makethenewsintheworld,inyourlife,thatyouwanttomeditateon.

It’suplifting.Itreallydoesfeelgoodanditreallyis,astheBuddhasaid,anactofhappinesstodothesethings.Youdon’thavetowaittillyournextlifetime:Rightasyoudoit,itfeelsgood.

Thesamewithvirtue:Ontheonehand,virtuemeansabstainingfromharm,notdoingthingsthatarebeneathyourprinciples.Butitalsohasapositiveside.Whenthe

29

Buddhaadvisesyounottokill,healsorecommendsthatyoubegentleandprotectiveofotherbeings.Thesamewiththepreceptagainststealing:Youalsoprotectotherpeople’sbelongingsasbestyoucan.Thepreceptagainstillicitsex:Yourespectpeople’srights;youdon’tletyourlustovercometheboundsofpropriety.Thepreceptagainstlying:Youtrytobeapersonwhotellsthetruth,youtrytopromotefriendships,youtrytopromotegoodnessinotherpeopleaswell.Sothere’sapositivesidetovirtue,too.

Andagain,itdoesn’tcostyouanymoney.Now,youmayfindthatyou’reputatadisadvantagesometimeswhenyoucan’tlie.Butthethingsyougetthroughlyingarenotreallyworthanything,becauseyou’vetradedyourvirtueforwhat?Thingsthatarejustgoingtoslipthroughyourfingerslikewater.Butthefactthatyoulostyourvirtue:That’snotgoingtoslipthroughyourfingersanytimesoon.That’sgoingtostaywithyou.

Yourvirtue,too,isagoodtopictoreflecton.Whenthemeditationgetsdullordry,attheveryleastyou’renotharminganyone.Aswhenyou’resittingrighthererightnow:You’renotharminganybodyatall.There’sgoodnesstothat.

Andfinallywiththemeditation:Inthelistofthetopicsofpuñña,innerqualityorinnerworth,theusualmeditationtopicismeditationongoodwill.WhentheBuddhatalksaboutthis,hegivesafewimages.Hesaysit’slikeapersonblowingaconchhornwhosesoundspreadsoutinalldirections.Youwantyourgoodwilltospreadouttoeveryoneinalldirections,allatonce.Hesaysatonepoint,“Evenifbanditsaresawingyouapart,cuttingoffyourlimbswithatwo-handledsaw,youshouldstillhavegoodwillforthem,startingwiththemandthenspreadingittotheentireworld.”

Andherecommendsafewgoodwillphrases,liketheoneswechantedjustnow,“Mayallbeingsbehappy,freefromoppression,freefromtrouble.Maytheylookafterthemselveswithease.”Thatlastphraseistoremindyouthatbeingsarereallyhappywhentheycanlookafterthemselveswithease.You’renotsayingyou’repromisingtobethereforthem.Youwantthemtobethereforthemselves.Butallofthisistoremindyou,whenyou’redealingwithdifficultpeople,thatyoudon’twantillwilltogetintheway.That’ssothatyoucantrustyourself.

Andotherpeopledobenefitfromyourgoodwill.Notonlythegoodthingsyoudoandsay,butalsothegoodthingsyouthink.Somepeoplereallyaresensitivetowhenameditatorhasspreadgoodwillintheirdirection.

AwomanwhowasoneofAjaanFuang’sstudentswasoncegoingthrougharoughtime,sooneevening,asIwasmeditating,Ispreadsomegoodwillinherdirection.Afewdayslatershecametothemonastery.“Theothernight,didyouspreadgoodwilltome?”sheasked,andthensheadded,“Ifeltit.”Sosomepeopledofeelthesethings.

It’sgoodpractice,asyou’respreadinggoodwill,tothinkofallthebeingsintheuniverseandtothinkoftheonesforwhomyoumightfeelresentmentortheoneswhomyoumightlookdownon.ThenremindyourselfoftheBuddha’steachingson

30

rebirth:We’vebeentoalloftheseplacesbefore.Ashesaid,ifyouseesomeonewho’sreallywealthy,enjoyingallkindsofpleasures:You’vebeentherebefore.Youseesomeonewho’sreallypooranddiseased:You’vebeentherebefore.Infact,whatevertypeofpersonyoucanthinkof:You’vebeentherebefore.

ThisisoneofthesadthingsaboutWesternBuddhism:They’vethrownawaythisreallyusefulteachingonrebirth.It’sreallygreatforempathy,it’sgreatforseeingthroughdifferences.Itmeansthatnobodyintheworldisastranger,inthesensethatthesufferingthey’regoingthroughisnotstrange:You’vebeenthere.You’vehadthatsuffering,too.

TheysaythataftertheBuddha’sawakening,hesurveyedtheworldwiththeeyeofaBuddha,andhesawthatallbeingswereonfirewiththefiresofpassion,aversion,anddelusion.Thatinsightgrewoutofhissecondknowledgeonthenightofhisawakening:seeinghowallbeingswerereborninlinewiththeirkamma,andhowlongithadbeengoingon.Eventhough,afterhisawakening,hewasnowfreefromallthat,hedidn’tlookdownonthebeingswhoweren’tfree.Instead,hefeltcompassion,forhehadbeenthere,too.Itwasacombinationofthosetwovisionsthatpropelledhimtoteach.

Sowhenyouthinkaboutthesethings,ithelpsyoudogoodforotherbeings—withasense,asIsaid,thatnobody’sastranger.Regardlessofrace,gender,economicstatus:We’veallbeenthroughthistogether,andwe’reallsufferingtogether.Sodoyouwanttokeeponcreatingmoresuffering?

ThinkofthatothervisiontheBuddhahadbeforehegotonthepathtoawakening.Theworldwasalittlestreamdryingupanditwasfilledwithfishcompetingwithoneanotherforthatlastlittlegulpofwater.Forwhat?Yougetthegulpofwater,youstilldie.Thewatergoes,butthekammayou’vecreatedinfightingalltheotherfish:Thatstickswithyou.Sowhyaddtothesuffering?

It’sforthesereasonsthatwedevelopgoodwill.Evenworkingonbreathmeditationisaformofgoodwillforyourself,asyoulookaftertheenergiesinyourbody.Youbegintorealizethatyou’vebeenplacingalotofburdensonyourmind,unnecessaryburdens,byallowingtheseenergiestogetalloutofwhack.Butifyouworkonthemandgainasenseofbeingbalancedhereintheconcentration,alotoftheburdensinthemindgetlifted.Andthenyouhavemoretimeforotherpeople.

Sothemeditationisagifttoyourselfandtoothers.Andwhenyouwanttodedicatethemeritofyourmeditation,you’vegotsomethinggoodtodedicate.Astowhetherthey’llreceivethemeritornot,thatdependsontheirabilitytoknowandtoappreciateit.ThePaliwordisanumodana,whichbasicallymeansappreciation,seeingthatwhatyoudidwasagoodthing.Thatthenbecomesameritoriousactontheirpart.Inotherwords,theyappreciategoodness.Andthemorewecandevelopanappreciationofgoodnessintheworld,thebetteroffwe’llbe.

Soasyou’remeditating,it’sagoodwayofdevelopinginnerworth,whichthen

31

becomesahappinessthatspreadsaround.It’sthebestwaytolookforhappiness.Allthreewaysofdevelopinginnerworthareformsofhappiness,formsofgoodness,withoutblame.

YearsbackIwasgoingtobegivingaDhammatalkonBuddhistideasonthepursuitofhappiness.TheafternoonbeforeIgavethetalk,Ihappenedtovisitoneofmyoldcollegeprofessors,whosefieldwasChristianethics.Heaskedmewhatthetalkthatnightwasgoingtobeabout.Andknowingthetypeofpersonhewas,hewanteditquickanddirect,soIsaiditwasbasicallyabouthowBuddhismteachesthatthesearchfortruehappinessneedn’tbehedonistic.Andhesaid,“IwishIcouldhearthattalk.”

Butthisiswhatit’sallabout:Thissearchforinnergoodnessisthewiseway,theheedfulway,tosearchforhappiness.Becauseit’snotjustforyou.It’sahappinessthatspreadsaround.

32

TheLessonsofGoodKammaApril14,2016

Welookaroundusandweseealotofpeoplewhohavemasteredaparticularprofessionoraparticularskill,whoareverygoodatthatonething,butwhoselivesotherwiseareamess.Theycanberealbastards,horribleintheirdealingswithothersorintheusestowhichtheyputthatskill.

TheDhamma’sdifferent.ToreallylearntheDhamma,youhavetobecomeagoodperson.Thisdoesn’tmeanthatyouhavetostartoutgood,butitdoesmeanthatyouhavetodevelopafullrangeofvirtues,allaround,ifyou’rereallygoingtounderstandwhattheBuddha’stalkingabout—and“understanding”itmeansnotjustunderstandingthewords,butgettingtothemeaning,towherethey’reaimed.

Theword“meaning”inPali—attha—alsomeans“goal.”SowhenwetalkaboutthemeaningoftheDhamma,we’renotjusttalkingabouttranslatingitintootherwords.We’realsotalkingaboutitspurpose.It’smeanttotakeyoutoagoal.It’smeanttotranslateintochangesinyourmind,bringingaboutanexperience,anunderstanding,anattainmentwithin.Togainthatexperienceandunderstandingandattainmentrequireslotsofvirtues.

Thetechniquesofthemeditationdon’tdemandtoomuch.Youcanlearnhowtofocusonthebreath,butastheBuddhasaid,youcouldbeapersonoflittleintegrityandyetstilldothemeditationinthesenseofgettingthemindtobequietforawhile.Butthenyou’dstartmisusingthatquietstate,andthatwouldgetinthewayofthedeeperattainments,thereallygoodpartoftheDhamma—whattheBuddhacalledthe“essenceoftheDhamma.”

Togettotheessence,youhavetostartwithbeinghonestandobservant.AstheBuddhaoncesaid,“Letapersoncomewhoishonestandobservant,someonewho’snodissembler,andI’llteachthatpersontheDhamma.”Honest,inthesenseofbeingwillingtoobservewhat’sreallygoingoninyourmind,andinyourbehavior,andbeingwillingtoadmittoyourselfandothersanymistakesyoumake.Honestyisnotjustamatterofthewayyoutreatotherpeople.It’salsoamatterofthewayyoutreatyourinternalconversation.Ideally,youfirstobservewhat’sgoingon,thenyouadmittoyourselfwhatyou’vedone,andthenyoucanlearn.Sothiscomesdowntohonestyandanabilitytoreallyseethingsandnoticewhat’sgoingon,andnotjusttobeapatheticandletthingspassby.

InanotherpassagewheretheBuddha’steachingkamma,hestartswiththevirtuesofgenerosityandgratitude.Formostofus,whenwehearaboutkamma,there’sthat

33

“Ohdarn”moment,wherewestartthinkingaboutallthebadthingswedidinthepastandallthebadthingsthataregoingtohappentousinthefuturebecauseofthat.ButtheBuddhadoesn’tstartwiththebadthingsatall.Hestartswiththegood.Hedoessaythatcertainactionstendtoleadtocertainresults,butthefactthatapastbadactionhashappeneddoesn’tmeanthatyou,actinginthefuture,can’tmakesomechangesinhowit’sgoingtobeexperienced.

Hegivestheanalogyofacrystalofsalt.You’vegotacrystalofsalt,say,thesizeofyourfist.Ifyouputitintoacupofwater,youcan’tdrinkthewaterbecausethewateriswaytoosalty.Butifyouputitintoalarge,expansiveriverofcleanwater,youcanstilldrinkthewaterintheriver.Inthesameway,ifyoudevelopanexpansivemind,theresultscomingfrompastactions,eventhoughtheymaybelargecrystalsofsalt,don’tnecessarilymeanyouhavetosuffer.

SowhentheBuddha’steachingkamma,it’snotprimarilyforthepurposeofmakingyoufeelguiltyorbadaboutwhatyou’vedoneinthepast.Healwaysemphasizesthefactthatyouhavetorealizeyou’vemademistakesinthepast,butyoucanresolvenottodothemagain.Thenyoudevelopanexpansivemind:amindofunlimitedgoodwill,unlimitedcompassion,unlimitedempatheticjoy,unlimitedequanimity.Amindtrainednottobeovercomebypleasureorbypain.Aminddevelopedinvirtueanddiscernment.Thesequalitiesexpandyourmind,sothatwhatcomesinfromthepastdoesn’thavetomakeyousuffer.

WhattheBuddhadoesemphasizewhenheintroducesthetopicofkammaistheneedtoberesponsibleandtofocusyourattentiononyourpresentkamma,andnottoworryaboutthepast.Yourfocusonthepresentmomentisnotsimplyforthepurposeofbeingfullypresenttoeverythinginthepresent.It’sforthepurposeoflookingcloselyatthechoicesyou’remakingandtheresultstheygiveriseto.Whatareyoudoingrightnow?What’shappeningasaresult?

Whenhewasteachingkammatohisson,basicallywhathewasteachingwashowtobehonestandhowtobeobservant,sothathissonwouldbeagoodenoughpersontolearntheDhammatobeginwith.First,heremindshissonofthevirtueofbeingtruthful.That’sthehonesty.Thenhetellshimwhattobeobservantabout,andhow:“Lookatyouractions.Whenyouplantodosomething,whatdoyouexpectisgoingtocomefromthataction?Ifyouexpectanythingharmful,don’tdoit.Ifyoudon’tforeseeanyharm,youcangoaheadanddoit.

“Whileyou’reacting,ifanyharmcomesup”—because,afterall,someofyouractionshaveimmediateresults;youdon’thavetowaituntilthenextlifetime.It’slikespittingintothewind.Youdon’thavetowaitforthenextlifetimeforthespittocomebackatyou.“Ifanyharmfulresultsarecomingup,stopwhatyou’redoing.Don’tfeelthatyou’recommittedtocontinuingwiththeaction.Ifyoudon’tseeanyharm,youcancontinuewithwhatyou’redoing.Thenwhenyou’redone,youlookatthelong-termresults.”Thisiswherethehonestyhastocomein,andtheabilitytobeobservant,

34

seeingwhatyoudidandtheresultsthatcamefromwhatyoudid,andbeingtruthfulaboutit.

Ifyoumadeamistake,yougotalkitoverwithsomeoneelse,someonewho’smoreadvancedonthepath,sothatyoucangetsomegoodideasonhownottorepeatthemistake.Ifyouseenobadresults,thentakejoyinthefactthatyou’remakingprogressonthepathandtrytocontinuewiththeprogress,trainingdayandnight.

TheBuddha’steachingalotofgoodqualitiesofcharacterhere.He’steachingcompassion:Youdon’twanttoharmanybody.He’steachingintegrity,teachingtheabilitytotakeresponsibilityforyouractions.He’salsoencouragingadesireandawillingnesstolearn,andhe’sshowingyouhowtodoit.

Thisishowyoubecomehonest.Thisishowyoubecomeevenmoreobservant.Thisishowyoumakegooduseoftheteachingonkamma.Insteadofgettingupsetaboutthingsyou’vedoneinthepast,yousay,“Look,Icanfocusonthepresentmomentandthat’llmakeallthedifference.”Thatway,youcanlearnfromwhatyoudointhepresentmoment.

InanotherplacewheretheBuddhaintroduceskamma,themainemphasisisongenerosityandgratitude,focusingonthefactthatpeopledohavechoicesthey’reresponsiblefor,andbecausewehavechoiceswe’reresponsiblefor,generositymeanssomething.Alotofpeopledon’tliketheideaofresponsibility.They’dratherhavekamma-freezonesinlargeareasoftheirliveswheretheycandowhattheywantandnothavetodealwiththeresults,orhavesomeoneelseprotectthemfromtheresults.Butthatattitudeischildish.

Ifyouwantedtoliveinaworldwhereyouractionshadnoresults,thatwouldalsomeanthatgenerositywouldhavenomeaning.Gratitudewouldhavenomeaning.Actionswouldjustbethrownaround,withoutanyconsequences—buttheywouldn’thaveanymeaning,either.Nothingwouldhaveanymeaning.It’sbecauseweareresponsibleforouractionsthattheydohavemeaning.Sowhenotherpeoplehelpus,wehavetothinkabouttheextenttowhichtheywentoutoftheirway:Thatmightnothavealwaysbeeneasyforthem.Youwanttohavegratitudeforthat.

Gratitudehereissomethingstrongerthanappreciation.Wecanappreciatethesun.Wecanappreciatetheskyandthetrees—appreciatejustthewaythingsarethatenablesustolive.Butgratitudeissomethingdifferent.Gratitudeisforactionsthatpeoplehavedone.ThewordinPali,kataññu,literallymeanshavingasenseoranawarenessofwhatwasdone—andthatdeservesaspecialqualityoftheheartmorethanjustappreciatinghownicethingscanbe.Yourealizethatsomebodyhadtodosomething,togooutofhisorherway,forsomeofyourconditionsinlifetobegood.Ifyoudon’thaveanygratitudeforthat,it’sveryunlikelythatyou’regoingtogooutofyourwaytohelpothers.

ThisconnectswithwhattheBuddhasaidaboutgenerosity.Thefactthatwehave

35

choicesandthatourchoiceshaveresultsmeansthatwhenyouthinkofbeinggeneroustosomeoneelse,that’sagoodthing.That’stobeencouraged.Itreallydoeshavemeaning.There’sasuttawheretheBuddhasaysthatifyou’restingy,there’snowayyou’regoingtobeabletoattainjhana,andnowayatallthatyou’regoingtoattainanyofthenobleattainments.

It’sgoodtothinkaboutwhy.Ifyou’regenerous,ifyoutakesomethingoverwhichyouhaverights,somethingnoonecanforceyoutogiveaway,butyoudecideofyourownaccordthatyouwanttogiveitaway:Theinternaldialoguethatgoeswiththatisgoodforthemind.Itgivesyoupracticeinovercomingyourgreed,youraversion,andalltheotherunskillfulattitudesthatwouldgetinthewayofbeinggenerousandfreelygivingsomethingaway.You’veliftedyourselfaboveyourdefilements,anditwasafreechoice.

Thisiswhytherearelotsofrulesforthemonksaroundhowtheytreatthegenerosityoflaypeople.Monksarethebeneficiariesofgenerosity,sowehavetobeverycarefulthatwedon’tabusethatposition.AndoneofthethingsthattheBuddhaadvisesisthatifsomeoneasksyou,“WhereshouldIgive?”yousay,“Givewhereyoufeelinspired,whereyoufeelitwillbewellusedandwelltakencareof.”That’sit.Youdon’tgooutfundraising.Youdon’tgooutmakinghintsthatyou’dlikethisthingorthat.Youwaitforpeopletomaketheoffer.Iftheymaketheoffer—iftheysay,“Letmeknowwhatyouneed”—that’saspecialcase.Buteventhen,youdon’twanttoabusetheirgenerosity.AjaanFuangsaidthathewasalwaysverycarefularoundthisissue.TheonlythingshewouldaskforincaseslikethatwouldbeDhammabooksandmedicine.Thatwasit—inotherwords,thingsthatwerereallynecessary.

ThereasonwhytherearealltheserulesaroundgenerosityisbecausetheBuddhawantstopreservethefreechoiceinvolvedinthegift.But,ingiving,youlearnnotonlythelessonofthefactoffreechoice.Youalsolearnthelessonsthatcomefromwatchingyourinternaldialogueoverhowtogiveupaparticularobject,howtogiveupthesumofmoneythatitcoststobuysomethingorhowtogiveupthetimethatyoucoulduseforsomethingyouwanttodo,andinsteadyoumakeagiftofthattosomeoneelsetohelpthem—orwhenyougiveyourenergyoryougiveofyourforgivenessinsituationswhereit’shard.

Thatinternaldialoguewhereyoucantalkyourselfintodoingtherightthinginthesecasesisagoodexerciseforthemind,becauseafterall,asyougetthemindintomeditation,you’regoingtohavetobegivingupalotofotherthingsthat,again,arewithinyourrightstoholdonto.Youhavetheperfectrighttosithereandthinklustfulthoughtsforanhour,orangrythoughtsforanhour,butthenwhatwouldyougain?Themindwouldgetevenmorelustful,getevenmorelikelytobeangry.You’dshortenyourfuse.Butonceyoulearntogivethesethingsupofyourownfreewillandlearnhowtotalkyourselfintoputtingthemdownandlettingthemstaydown,you’velearnedanimportantskill.Thisisoneofthereasonswhygenerosityissoessentialthroughoutthe

36

practice.LuangPuDuneusedtoliketosaythatthewholepracticeisonethingallclear

through,fromthebeginningtotheveryend.It’sallaboutlettinggo.Well,lettinggorequiresaninternaldialogue,wherethegoodsideofyournaturetakeschargeoverthegreedierormorenarrowsideofyournaturesothatyoucandevelopthegoodnessthat’srequiredfortheDhamma—sothatyoucanactuallyunderstandandseetheDhamma,experiencetheessenceoftheDhamma.

SolookatyouropportunitiestobegenerousasopportunitiestoseeandunderstandtheDhamma,topracticetheinternaldialoguethat’sneededinareaswhereyoudiscoveryou’remoreattachedthanyouthoughtyouwere.Certainthingsyoucangiveawayandit’snobigdeal,butcertainofyourdefilements,certaintypesofgreedoraversion,thingsyoureallylike,you’rereallyattachedto:Youtendtoidentifyyourselfaroundthem—“ThisisthewayIamandit’sgoingtotakealongtimeformetochange”—thatkindofattitude.Ifyouhaven’tlearnedhowtobegenerous,it’sgoingtobehardtogiveupthesethingsthatareevenstickier,wheretheattachmentgoesevendeeper.

Soit’sgoodtomakeapracticeofgenerositysothatyoucanbeginchippingawayandlearningtheskillsyouneedtogiveupthethingsyouhaveaperfectrighttokeep,butarereallynotinyourownbestinteresttokeep.You’dbemuchbetterofflettingthemgo.

37

TurningAnxietyintoHeedfulnessNovember20,2016

There’ssomethingofatensioninthechantswerepeatintheeveningbeforethemeditation.Ontheonehand,therearechantsliketheonewehadjustnow,“Theworldissweptaway,itdoesnotendure,it’saslavetocraving,”andthen,ontheotherhand,“MayIbehappy.”

There’salsothetensionbetweenthechant,“I’msubjecttoaging,illness,death,separation,”andthen,“MayIbehappy.”

Buttounderstandthistensionistounderstandhowandwhywepractice.Wedon’ttrytobehappybydenyingthefactthattherearedangersoutthere.Wetrytofindhappinessinthemidstofthedangers—realizing,ofcourse,thatnotallthedangersareoutthere.It’snotjustadangerousworld.We’redangerouspeople.Becauseofourcravingandclinging,wecandoallkindsofunskillfulthings.

Sotheteachingisaimedatadmittingthatthisisthewaythingsareandthenasking,“Howdoyoufindwell-beinginthemidstofallthis?”Thisiswhywedevelopheedfulnessasoneofthemainmotivatorsforourpractice.Wehavethesechantsonhowthingsaresweptaway,andhowaging,illness,anddeatharenormal,toremindourselvesthatwereallydoneedtotrainthemind.

Becauseheedfulnessisjustthat:asenseofthedangers,buttakingwhateverfearyoumighthaveaboutthedangersanddirectingitintherightway.It’scombinedwithconfidence,thatthereisarightwaytofindhappinesshere.

Thisiswhereheedfulnessdiffersfromanxiety.Withanxiety,youdon’treallyknowwhattodo.Youhavenoconfidencethatyouhaveanyrightwayofacting,ofpreventingthedangers.Butwithheedfulness,youdohaveasenseofconfidence.Andyougetyourprioritiesstraight.

There’saseriesofsuttaswheretheBuddhatalksaboutfuturedangers.Amongthemisthefactthatsocietycanfallapartandcollapse,andintimeslikethatit’sdifficulttopractice.Soyoushouldpracticenow,whileyou’vegotthechance,sothatwhenthatdangercomes,youcanstillhaveaninnersenseofwell-beingthatyoucandependon.Inotherwords,youwillhavefoundsomethinginsidethatcan’tbeaffectedbychangesoutside.You’vestraightenedouttheinsideissues,sotheminddoesn’tposeanydangertoitself.

Sofearofdangerisnotnecessarilyabadthing.Itdependsonhowyouuseit.Ifyouletyourselfgetwrappedupinanxiety,thenitreallyisdetrimental.Butthere’samoreskillfulfear,andthat’sfearthatyou’lldosomethingreallyunskillful.

38

ThePalitermisottappa.TheThaistranslateitas“fearofevil.”Itdoesn’tmeanfearofevilthingsoutside.Itmeansfearoftheconsequencesofyourdoingevil.InEnglish,it’shardtofindagoodtranslationforit:“Compunction”comesclosest,therealizationthattherealdangersinlifeareinyourownactionsandsoyouwanttobeverycarefulaboutwhatyoudo.

But,inbeingcarefulaboutyouractions,youcanactuallyprovideahappinessthatissecure.Sothere’sabrightsidetoallthisaswell.Ifeverythingwerejustaging,illness,death,aging,illness,anddeath,withnoescape,thenthatoldchargeaboutBuddhism’sbeingpessimisticwouldhavebeentrue.Butthat’snotthecase.TheBuddhasaysthereisawayout.Now,wecan’thauleverybodyweloveandeverythingwelovealongwithusonthewayout.Sothisdoesrequireacertainsenseofprioritiesastowhatreallyisimportanttoprotectandwhatyouhavetobewillingtosacrifice.

Whereyourattachmentsarefocusedisgoingtodeterminewhetherthey’rerelativelysafeornot.Ifyouhavelotsofattachmentsintheworld,asAjaanLeesaid,youhavelotsofmagnetsoutintheworldthataregoingtopullyoutowheretheyare.It’slikeleavingyourselfexposedonmanysides.Whereveryouhaveanattachment,thereyou’reexposed.

Soyouwanttobringallyourattachmentsinside.Inotherwords,realizethatthequalitiesofyouractions—yourthoughts,yourwords,andyourdeeds—areyourrealtreasures.Thosearethethingsyoucanholdonto,evenastheworldchangesfortheworse.

AstheBuddhasaid,lossintermsofyourwealthorhealth,lossintermsofyourfamily:Thosearerelativelyminordangers.Therealdangersarelossintermsoflosingrightviewandlosingyourvirtue.

Sotherearetimeswhenyouhavetobewillingtofacelossoutside.Butyoualwayswanttomaintainyourdignityasahumanbeing.Youdon’twanteventsoutsidetocontrolyouremotions—tostartdoingthingsunderthepowerofyouremotionsandthensay,“Well,itwasjustbecauseso-and-sosaidthisorso-and-sosaidthat.That’swhyIsaidthis.”Whenthathappens,youbecomejustacoginamachineandletyourselfgetpushedaround.It’swhenyoucanstandbackandsay,“No.Evenifpeoplemistreatme,Iwillstillbehaveinanhonorableway”:Thatpullsyououtofthemachine.Itmakesyouindependent.

Therewillbeahealthysenseofselfthatgoesalongwiththis.Inpsychology,theytalkaboutthehealthyegofunctionofanticipation:seeingthattherearedangersoutthereandthatyou’vegottoprepareforthem.ThisiswhatcorrespondstoheedfulnessintheBuddha’steachings.

It’sstrangethatabookonhealthyegofunctionsIoncereadnevermentionedasenseofhonor,butthisisanimportantmotivator.Asenseofhonorisanimportantaspectofahealthyselfthatyoucreateaspartofthepath:thatnomatterhowbad

39

thingsget,you’renotgoingtoletthebadthingscomeintoyouractions,intoyourthoughts,intoyourwords,yourdeeds.Thatsenseofhonorwillbeyourprotection.

InPali,thiscorrespondsbothtocompunctionandtoasenseofshame:thatyou’dbeashamedtostooptodoingsomethingreallymeanandlow.And,astheBuddhasaid,that’soneoftheprotectorsoftheworld—andinprotectingtheworld,you’realsoprotectingyourself.

Allthepreceptsarelikethat.Whenyoumakeupyourmindthatyou’renotgoingtokillunderanycircumstances,you’renotgoingtosteal,you’renotgoingtolie,you’renotgoingtohaveillicitsexortakeintoxicantsunderanycircumstances,you’regivinguniversalsafety.Ofcourse,youcan’tprotecteverybodyfromeverybodyelse,butyoucansay,“I’mnotposinganydangertoanybodyatall.”Andwhenyourpreceptsbecomeuniversallikethat,then,astheBuddhasays,youhaveashareinthatuniversalsafety.

Sothisiswhereoursecuritylies:inourpractice.Thingsoutsidemaychange,butthegeneraloutlineofhowtofindsafetyinsideisalwaysthesame.

RememberthatstoryoftheBuddhatalkingtoKingPasenadi.KingPasenadicomestoseehiminthemiddleoftheday,andtheBuddhaaskshim,“Whereareyoucomingfrom,greatking,inthemiddleoftheday?”Andthekingsays,“Oh,thetypicalthingsthatkingsdowhenthey’remadforpower.”It’samazingthathe’ssofrank.

AndtheBuddhasays,“SupposesomeonefromtheEastcameandsaid,‘There’sthishugemountainmovinginfromtheEast,crushingalllivingbeingsinitspath.’AndsomeoneelsecomesfromtheSouth,anotherpersoncomesfromtheWest,anotherpersoncomesfromtheNorth,andtheyallsay,‘TherearethesemountainscominginfromtheEast,South,West,andNorth,crushingallbeingsintheirpath.’Giventhathumanlifeissohardtocomeby,whatwouldyoudo?”

KingPasenadireplies,“WhatelsecouldIdobutcalmmymindandpracticetheDhamma,withwhateverlittletimeIhaveleft?”

AndtheBuddhasays,“Inthatcase,Iwarnyou,greatking:Aging,illness,anddeatharemovinginfromalldirections,crushinglivingbeingsintheirpath.Giventhathumanlifeissohardtocomeby,whatareyougoingtodo?”Ofcourse,thekinggivesthesameanswer:“Calmthemind;practicetheDhamma.”

That’swhereourfocusshouldalwaysbe,becausethat’swhereourtruewealthis.That’swhereourtruesafetylies.Anditdoesn’tmatterwhichmountainmovesinfirst,themountainsaregoingtogetyou.Butthey’regoingtogetjustthebody.Don’tletthemgetyourmind.Havetheconfidencethatyoucankeepthemindseparate.

Asfortimeswhenanxietydoescomeup,rememberthatwhateverhappensintheworld,you’regoingtoneedmindfulness,alertness,concentration,anddiscernmenttodealwiththeunexpected.Soinsteadoflayingoutallkindsofscenariosaboutwhatyou’lldoifthishappens,whatyou’lldoifthathappens—whichwouldjusteatupallyourtime—justremindyourselfthatthequalitiesyou’llneedforunexpectedsituations

40

arequalitiesyoucandeveloprightnowasyoumeditate.Inthisway,youcanturnyouranxietyintoheedfulness.Andthenitactually

becomesapositiveforceinthepractice.Because,astheBuddhasaid,“Allskillfulqualitiesarerootedinheedfulness.”Thoseskillfulqualitiesarethethingsthatwillcreateyourhavenofwell-being,eveninthemidstofdangersallaroundyou.

Theworldwillneverstopbeingadangerousplace,butyoucanlearntostopposingdangerstoyourselfandothers.Insodoing,youfindthatyoureallycancreateahaveninside.

Andalthoughyoucan’tcreateahavenforeverybodyelse,atleastyourhavenwillbeagoodinfluence,towhateverextentyouhaveaninfluenceontheworld.Sothere’snothingselfishaboutfindingthiswell-beinginside.You’retakingyourselfoutofthefoodchain;you’retakingyourselfoutofthedangerchain.Andthat’sahugegiftrightthere.

41

RespectforthePreceptsJanuary29,2015

SeveralyearsagoIwastakingpartinadiscussionontheprecepts,andalargepartofthediscussionconcernedhowtodealwithantsinyourhouse:Howdoyoukeepthemoutofthekitchen,howdoyoukeepthemoutofthehousewithoutkillingthem?Wewentoverallthewaysinwhichyoucandeterantswiththingsliketalcumpowder,cinnamon,andpaprika.Andattheendofthediscussiononeoftheparticipants,whohadn’tbeenparticipatingallthatmuch,commentedsarcastically,“Well,tonightwe’vehadaverydeepdiscussionontheissueofants.”Andthethingwasthathissarcasmwassodeadwrong.

Oneofthepurposesofthepreceptsistoforceyoutolookmorecarefullyatwhatyou’redoing.Afterall,ifyou’regoingtobemindfulandalert,youhavetobeveryattentivetoyouractionsandtheirresults.Holdingstrictlytothepreceptsisaverygoodwayofgettingpracticeinthatkindofmindfulnessandalertness.Infact,astheBuddhasaid,oneofthebasesforestablishingmindfulnessisthatyourpreceptsarepure.You’velearnedhowtolookcarefullyatwhatyou’redoing,youthinkcarefullyabouttheconsequences,andyoulearnhowtodothingsmorecarefullyaswell.

Foralotofus,“deepissues”havetodowithabstractions.Butalltoooften,abstractionsarejustcurtains,filmsoverwhat’sactuallygoingon.Yearsback,thesamegroupofpeoplehadmetandoneofthewomenhadjustcomebackfromaretreatwherethethemeoftheretreatwastheabsoluteandtherelativeandhowtoseeyourdailylifeasaninterplayofthetwo.Someonementionedtheoldjokeabouthowtherelativeintheabsoluteisyouruncleintheliquorcabinet,andtheabsoluteintherelativeiswhenhe’sdrunkallyourvodka.Atanyrate,asthewomanwastalkingabouttheabsoluteandtherelativeandtryingtoapplythoseconceptstoherlife,youcouldseeshewasgettingmoreandmoreconfused.Soit’sgoodtostripthingsdowntoactual,concretedetails.Andthepreceptsareaverygoodwayofdoingthat.Atthesametime,meditatingonyourpreceptsisanimportantpartofthepractice.Whenyoucanlookatyouractionsandrealizethatyouhaven’tharmedanybody,thatyou’veheldtoyourprinciples,itgivesyoutheself-esteemandconfidenceneededtogetthemindintothetypeofconcentrationthatwillleadtodiscernment.Thenconcentrationanddiscernmentwillhelpmakeyourpracticeofthepreceptsevenmoresolidandperceptive.

Oneofthedistinctiveprinciplesoftheforesttraditionisitsunderstandingoftheinterplayamongvirtue,concentration,anddiscernment.Usually,outsideoftheforesttradition,they’retaughtthree-in-a-rowlikethat:Youstartwithvirtueandthen,whenthat’sgood,youlearnconcentration,andthenwhenthat’sgoodyouworkonyour

42

discernment.Butfromthebeginningofhispractice,AjaanMunrealizedthatyoucan’tdoitthatway.Youhavetouseallthreesimultaneouslysothattheystrengthenoneanother.Youusetheconcentrationtofirmupyourvirtue;youuseyourdiscernmenttofirmupyourvirtueandyourconcentration.

Thinkingaboutthepreceptsisanimportantpartofthemeditation.Itcomesunderrighteffortandgeneratingdesiretoavoidunskillfulqualities.Lookatyourpreceptstoaskyourself,“AretheretimeswhenIwanttobreakthemandIfeelthatit’sokaytobreakthem?”Ifyoudon’tholdthoroughlytotheprecepts,yougetsloppyaboutavoidingunskillfulqualitiesindailylife,andasaresult,yourmeditationbreaksdown.Sowhatisthisfeelingthatsaysit’sokaytobreakthem?

Alotofpeoplesaythatthepreceptsdon’thavetobefollowedallthatcarefully.Oneargumentthat’sofferedisthatthepreceptsarenotdivinecommandments—asifonlydivinecommandmentshadtobefollowedcarefully.Afterall,thepreceptsaretrainingrules.Youcan’ttraininthemifyouhavesomeassumptionsofyourowntowhichyougivepriority.Youmaysay,“Inthiscase,thepreceptshavetobeputasidebecausesomethingelseismoreimportant.”Butthisdeniesyoutheopportunitytolookintowhatyouthinkismoreimportantandtostartquestioningit.

AnotherargumentIsawrecentlyisthatthepreceptsaren’tevenasseriousascivillaw.Civillawhasexemptions,theysaid,sothereforethepreceptsmusthaveexemptions.Again,thecivillaw’snottheretotrainusforthepurposeoftruehappiness.It’sjusttheretokeepusfromkillingoneanotherorrunningintooneanotherontheroad.

Theprecepts,though,areforyoutolookatyouractionsandtofigureoutwhereyou’recausingunnecessarystressandsuffering.They’reelementaltothepractice.Ifyouholdtothemcarefully,youhavetostartlookingatyourwholelifealotmorecarefully,too.Thatway,youcandetectattachmentsyouwouldn’thaveseenotherwise.Andonlywhenyoucandetectthesethingscanyouundotheunskillfulbehaviorbasedonthem.Thisiswhyit’simportanttoaskyourselfthosequestions:Wherewouldyoubetemptedtobreakaprecept?Wherewouldyoubetemptedtokill,wherewouldyoubetemptedtosteal,tohaveillicitsex,tolie,takeintoxicants?Thetwobigonestendtobekillingandlying:Wherewouldyoubetemptedtodothesethings?

Youaskyourselfandthen,whenyougetananswer,youaskyourselffurther,“Well,whywouldyoubetempted?Whydoyouthinkthatthatbeing’slifeisnotworthleavingunharmed?”Youcan’tgoaroundprotectingallbeings,butyoucanknowthatyourbehaviorhasnotharmedthatbeing.That’ssomethingyoucanberesponsiblefor—andyoucanalsoberesponsiblefornottryingtogetotherpeopletodotheharmforyou.Thosearethetwoareaswhereyoureallyareresponsible.

Solookatyourbehavior:Wherehaveyoubeenkillinginthepast?Wherehaveyoubeenlyinginthepast?Canyoudealwiththosesortsofsituationsinsuchawaythat

43

youdon’tkill,youdon’tlie?Whatwouldberequiredofyou?Howmanyextrapainswouldittake?Whatattitudeswouldyouhavetoabandon?Howmuchmorecarefulwouldyouhavetobe?

Say,aboutyourspeech,areaswhereyoumightliecasuallybecauseyouthoughtyoucouldgainanadvantageoravoidproblems:Canyoustillgainanadvantage,canyoustillavoidproblemswithoutlying?Whatwouldthatrequireofyou?TheBuddhadoesn’tdefinelyingasnottellingthewholetruth.Thisisanimportantdistinction.Therearesituationswhereyoucansaytoyourself,“IfIactuallytoldthewholetruthinthissituation,itwouldcausealotofharm.HowcanIgetaroundthatwithoutmisrepresentingthetruth?”AstheBuddhasaid,iftellingthewholetruthwouldleadtothearisingofgreed,aversion,anddelusion,eitherinyourselforinthepersonlistening,youdon’tsayit.Nowthatdoesn’tmeanyoulie.Inotherwords,whatyoudosayisnotamisrepresentationofthefacts.Youfindsomethingelsetotalkabout,youfindawaytoexpressyourselfthatistechnicallytrue.Butyoudon’tmisrepresentthetruthofthethingsyoudomention.

Nowsomepeoplesaythisisjustsplittinghairs,butthat’snotnecessarilythecase.Takethecasethatpeopleareconstantlyusingtoarguethattherearetimeswhenyouhavetolie:thecaseofNazisatthedoorandJewsintheattic.Whatareyougoingtodo?FirstyouhavetorealizethereareNazisandthereareNazis.Withsomeofthem,alltheyneedisanexcusenottohavetogothroughyourhouse.Theydon’twanttobother,soyousaysomethingthatindicatestothemthatit’snotworththeirbothertogoin.ThereareotherNazis,though,who,regardlessofwhatyousay,aregoingtocheckthehouse.Alltoooftenit’sassumedthatwhenyoulietoNazisthey’llbelieveyouandthengoaway.Butthatcoversonlysomeofthecases.Thereareothercaseswhere,iftheNazissensethatyou’relying,they’llbeevenmoreinterestedinsearchingyourhouse.

Sofirstyou’vegottorealizethatyou’redealingwithdifferentkindsofsituationshere:one,inwhichnomatterwhatyousaythere’sgoingtobetrouble,andtheother,inwhichyoucandeflectharmbutwithoutlying.Soiftheyaskifyou’rehidingJewsintheattic,yousay,“I’mhidingnothingshamefulinthishouse.”

Thishastwoadvantages.One,youcansayitlookingthemstraightintheeye.SomeNazis,likesomepolicemen,canreadyourface.Ifthey’reconvincedyou’retellingthetruth—andyouaretellingthetruth—they’llleaveyoualone.Thesecondadvantageisthis:Supposeyousay,“I’vegotnoJewsintheattic,”buttheysay,“We’regoingtocheckanyhow,”andtheyfindtheJews.Whentheycomebackout,theycangiveyoualectureonethics:“NotonlydoyouhideJewsbutyoualsolie.”Imaginewhatit’dbeliketobelecturedbyaNazi.And,ofcourse,theywon’tstopwithalecture.They’lltakeyouawayandtortureyou—andwithyourlieyou’vegiventhemammunitiontotortureyoupsychologically.

Butifyoutellthemyou’rehidingnothingshamefulandyettheyfindtheJews,they’lltaketheJewsoutandsay,“Wethoughtyousaidyouweren’thidinganything,”

44

andyousay,“IsaidIwashidingnothingshameful;there’snothingshamefulaboutwhatIdid.”Now,theymaydecidetoarrestyouthen,too,butatleastyouhaveyourhonorandthat’ssomethingimportant.Ourculturedeprecateshonor.Butbeingabletomaintainyourhonorisimportant.It’spartofyourself-worth.Iftheydecidetotortureyou,theywon’tbeabletousealieagainstyou.

Thismeansthatyou’renotholdingthepreceptjustforthesakeoffollowingtheletter.Thereareactuallypracticaladvantagestofollowingtheletter.

Sothat’sonethingtolookat:theimplicationsofyouractionsandhowtheywillbearfruitdowntheline.

Theotherisifyoufeelyouhavehighermoralstandardsthatlieabovetheprecepts,youhavetoquestionthem.Aretheyreallyhigher?Aretheyreallypractical?Recentlysomeonehasarguedthattherearetimeswhen,toprotectinnocentpeople,you’reduty-boundtokillotherpeople.Butcanyoueverreallyknowforsurethat,inkillingoneperson,itwillreallyprotectanotherperson?Whatyoudoknowisthatyou’vechosentokill.You’vechosentodosomethingunskillful.

Atthesametime,whatisthisrequirementtoprotectinnocentpeopleatallcosts?Isitsomethingyoucouldpracticallycarryout—toprotectalltheinnocentpeopleintheworld?Howcanyoudothat?Peoplehavetheirkamma.Youdoyourbesttoprotecttheinnocent,butifitwouldrequirethatyoudosomethingunskillful,youhavetorealizethattheirkammaliesbeyondyourhelp.Twowrongsdon’tmakearight.

Thepurposeofprotectingyourpreceptsinthiswayistoferretoutandquestiontheviewsyou’reattachedto.Aretheyreallyworthyofattachment,especiallyiftheygetyoutoendupdoingsomethingreallyunskillful?Youdecideyou’regoingtoprotectthispersonbykillingthatperson,butwhataretheconsequencesdowntheline?Thosethingsbegintosnowball.Yousetabadexampleforothers.Yousetabadexampleforyourself.Butifyoumakesurethatyouractionsdon’tbreakthepreceptsandyou’renotgettinganybodyelsetobreaktheprecepts,you’vecoveredwhatyouareresponsibleforandwhatyoucanknow.You’vesetanhonorableexample,andyouhaven’tlethigh-soundingabstractionsgetintheway.

Sothesearetwooftheimportantreflectionsthatthepreceptsforceonyouifyoutakethemreallyseriously.One,arethereotherwaysyoucouldbehavesothatyoudon’thavetolosewhatyouvalueandatthesametimeyoudon’tbreakaprecept?Asinthecaseofsmallanimals,pestsinthehouse,thisrequiresyoutobealotmorecarefulabouthowcleanyoukeepthings,howyoudesignyourhouseifyouhavetheoptionofbuildinganewhouse.Itrequiresyoutothinklikeanant,towatchthebehaviorofants,andthat’sagoodexerciseinputtingyourselfinotherpeople’sshoes.InThailand,they’veperfectedwaysofmakingsure,withmoatsandotherthings,thatantsdon’tinvadethemonks’huts.Ittakesalittleextratime,alittleextracare,butit’stimeandcarewellspent—becauseyou’rethinkingaboutyouractions,you’rethinkingabout

45

theirconsequences,soyou’remorecareful.Andthenthere’sthesecondreflection:Youlearntoquestionsomeofthenotionsto

whichyouholdverystronglythatwouldactasexcusesforbreakingtheprecepts.Youlearntoseehowsomeverynoble-soundingidealsareactuallyacover-upforunskillfulbehavior.

Thisiswhyholdingtothepreceptsacrosstheboardisareallyimportanttrainingforthemind.Youbecomealert.Youbecomemoremindful,moresensitivetothings,andthat’sprettydeep—alotdeeperthanthrowingabstractionsaround.Ittakesacertainamountofhumilitytosubmityourselftoapreceptlikethis,tosay,“I’mgoingtoputmypreconceivednotionsonholdandseewhatit’sliketoreallytrytolivebytheprecepts.”

Thisfallsinlinewithanotherprincipleoftheforesttradition,whichiswhatAjaanMun—followingtheBuddha—calledpracticingtheDhammainlinewiththeDhamma.Inotherwords,youadjustyourself,yourattitudes,andyouractionstofitinwiththeDhamma,nottheotherwayaround.Alltoomanyofussay,“Well,let’schangetheDhammahere,changetheDhammathere;afterall,we’reWesterners,weneedaWesternDhamma”—thatkindofattitude.Howaboutputtingthatattitudeaside,tosay,“WhatwoulditbelikeifIreallydidtrainbythesethings,ifIgavethemmorerespectthanIgivetomyownopinions?”It’sonlythenthatyoulearntodetectthingsinyourselfthatotherwiseyouwouldn’tsee.

Sothisreflectiononthepreceptsisgoodforyourmindfulness—andasaresult,it’sgoingtobegoodforyourconcentration.It’salsoagoodexerciseindiscernment,toexposecornersofyourmindthatotherwisestayhidden,andtouprootsomereallyfirmlyentrenchedideasthatwouldotherwisekeepyousufferingforalongtime.

46

WisdomforDummiesRevisitedFebruary4,2017

WeliketothinkofBuddhistwisdomassomethingsubtleandabstract.AndthereareaspectsoftheBuddha’steachingsthataresubtleandabstract.Butwisdomhastostartwithsomeverybasicthings,too.Youmightcallit“WisdomforDummies.”Andthatmeansyou:You’renotgoingtogettothehigherlevelsuntilyou’vemasteredthebasics.

TherearetwowaysinwhichtheBuddhatalksaboutverybasiclevelsofwisdom.Oneisifthere’ssomethingthatyouliketodobutisgoingtogivebadresults,youknowhowtotalkyourselfoutofit.Theotheristhatifthere’ssomethingthatyoudon’tliketodobutisgoingtogivegoodresults,you’reabletotalkyourselfintoit.Inotherwords,youlearnhowtopsychyourselfup.Youlearntolookatthelongtermratherthantheshortterm.Andyoutrytofigureoutwhattheproblemiswithyourattitude,howyoucangetaroundyourlaziness.

Weweretalkingthisafternoonaboutlazinesswhengettingupinthemorning.There’sapassageintheCanonwheretheBuddhatalksaboutthedifferentexcusespeoplegiveforlaziness:“Ididn’tgetenoughsleeplastnight,”“I’mtired,”“Iworkedyesterday,”“I’mgoingtobeworkingtomorrow,”“Icamebackfromatripyesterday,”“I’mgoingonatriptomorrow,”“I’vebeensick.”Andthenhecomparesthosewiththereasonsthatanotherpersonmightgiveforbeingmoreenergeticinthepractice.Anditturnsoutthey’rethesamereasons:“IworkedalotyesterdaybutnowI’vegotachancetomeditatetoday,”“I’mgoingtobeworkingtomorrowbutI’vegotthischancetomeditatenow,”“I’vebeensick,butfinallyI’vegottenoverthat,soIcanmeditatesome.Imaystillbeweak,buttheillnesscouldcomeback.Sohere’smychance.”

Inotherwords,there’snodifferenceintheobjectivesituation.Thedifferenceisinyourattitude.Soifthevoicestogetyoumoreenergeticarenotthereinyourmind,trytolearnsomeofthem.Becauseyou’renottheonlyonewholikestosleepinlate—everybodylikestosleepinlate.AjaanMahaBoowacomplainedabouthowlazyhewas.Andherehewas:someonewhoeventuallycouldsitfiveorsixhoursasifitwerenothing.Weallhavetofigureoutsomewaytogetaroundourlaziness.

Atthesametime,therearethingsweliketodothatwehavetolearnhowtosayNoto.Learnhowtoseetheirdrawbacks.Attheveryleast,putupafight.Alltoooften,thevoicesinthemindsay,“You’regoingtobegivinginanyhowinfiveminutes,sowhydon’tyougiveinnow,sowedon’thavetowastealotoftimeandenergy.”Youcanrespondandsay,“Well,Idon’tknowaboutfiveminutesfromnow,butrightnowI’mresponsibleforrightnow.Soifit’ssomethingIshoulddo,I’mgoingtodoitnow.Ifit’s

47

somethingIshouldn’tdo,Iwon’tbedoingitnow.We’lltalkaboutfiveminutesinfiveminutes’time.”

Anotheroneofthereasonsthey’llgiveis,“You’llgetupandmeditate,butyou’renotgoingtolastverylong,sowhybother?”Soyousay,“AtleastI’llgetup,getintoposition,andthenwe’lltalkfromthere.”It’snotlikeyou’recommitted,thatonceyougetupyouhavetomeditate.Butyousay,“Well,atleastgiveitatry.”Thesamewhenyoufindyourselfdoingsomethingyoushouldn’tbedoing.You’vestarteddoingitandpartofthemindwillsay,“Well,nowthatyou’vestarted,you’recommittedandyoumightaswellgoalltheway.”Yousay,“No.Icanstop.”

Solearnhowtopsychyourselfup.It’sallverysimple,buttheproblemisthatyoutendtoidentifywithcertainvoicesinthemind,andtheymakeitcomplex.You’vegottolearnhowtowithdrawyoursenseofidentificationfromthemandlearntoseethosevoicesasnot-self.

Again,weliketothinkofthenot-selfteachingassomethingveryabstractandsubtle.Butit’ssomethingwe’redoingallthetime—we’renot-selfingallthetimeinordertoselfnewthings.Youselfanideaandthenanotherideacomesup,soyounot-selfthefirstideaandthenselfthesecondone.Learntobealittlemoresystematicabouthowyoudothat.Learntoviewyoursenseofselfandtheactivityofnot-selfingastools.Thenaskyourself,“Whenisitskillfultoidentifywiththisidea?Andwhenisitskillfultoidentifywiththatidea?”Youhavethefreedomtochoose.Selfingisaverb.It’sanactivity,akindofkamma.Andaswithallkindsofkamma,thequestionis,“Whenisitskillful?Whenisitnot?”

Sogiveyourselfalittlemorefreedomaroundthisissue.Theideathatyou’recommittedtobeingacertainwayoracertainsortofperson:Thatgetsinthewayofthepractice.Ifeverybodywerecommittedtobeingthewaytheyalreadywere,theBuddhawouldn’thavebotheredteaching.Itwouldn’thaveservedanypurposeatall.Buthesawthatwecantrainourselves.Partofthemindcantraintherestofthemind.It’ssimplyamatterofgettingthegoodpartofthemind,thepartthatreallydoeswishforyourtruewell-being,tohavemorepower.

Thisisoneofthereasonswhy,whenwemeditate,weworkwiththebreathtogainasenseofwell-being.Thegoodpartofthemindneedshelp.Andworkingwiththebreathgivestherestofthemindasenseofwell-beingaswell,givesthewholebodyasenseofwell-being—sothatthenexttimeyouthinkaboutmeditating,you’llhaveagoodassociationwithit.You’llrememberthatonceyoumaketheeffortofsettlingin,itfeelsreally,reallygood.Thatbecomesyourincentivetogetupearlythenextmorningandtotryitagain.

Theotherbasicroleofwisdomisthatwhenthingsgowrong,whenthingsdon’tgowellinlife,youlearntogiveyourselfpeptalks.Thiscanapplytothemeditation:Everyoneisgoingtohavebarrenstretchesinthemeditation.It’scommon.Thereare

48

times,atthebeginning,whenthingsareopeningupinside,allkindsofnewandinterestingthingsarehappening,butthenitlevelsoutandyou’restuckwiththesame-oldsame-old,overandoveragain.Well,learnhowtoseethatmaybesomethingelseisgoingoninthat“same-old”mindthatyou’renotseeingrightnow.Sometimesthemindmakessomeprogressandthenithastofillinthedetails.Itmakesaquicksketchandthenithastofillintherestofthesketch,andit’sgoingtotaketime.

IhadaThaifriendwhowasanartist.SometimeshewoulddolargetraditionalThaipaintings.HewasworkingonceonalargepaintingofRama,andhiswifecameintothestudiooneafternoonafterhe’dbeenworkingforhoursonlittletinydetails.Shelookedatthepaintingandsaid,“Oh,youdidn’tgetmuchdonetodaydidyou?”Hesaid,“I’vebeenworkingallday.”

Therearepartsofthemindwhereyouhavetofillinthedetailsbeforeyou’regoingtobeabletomoveon.Solearnhowtokeepyourselfinagoodmoodinthemeantime.Maybetheresultsaren’tcomingasquicklyaspossibleorthechangesaren’tcomingasquicklyasyou’dlike,butjustkeepwithit,keepwithit,keepwithit.

ThinkoftheShackletonexpedition.TheylosttheirshipdownnearAntarctica.Helpwashundredsandhundredsofmilesaway.Andtheirsituationwasprettybleak.Butthecaptaingavethemgoodpeptalksandhelookedaftereveryone.Hemadesurethatallthemendidwhattheycould—andwhattheyshould.They’dalllearned,“Thisiswhatyouhavetodoinasituationlikethis,”andsohemadesureeverybodydidjustthat.Hesaid,“Attheveryleast,ifwedie,we’llknowwe’renotdyingfromourcarelessnessorourownlaziness.Ifwediedoingourduty,that’sanhonorabledeath.”Andtheyallmadetheirwayout.

Soasyou’remeditating,you’renotgoingtodiefromthemeditating,butattheveryleastsay,“I’mgoingtodoitwell.I’mgoingtostickwiththesteps.Idon’twanttofailinmeditationbecauseofcarelessness.”Oftentimes,whenprogressisnothappening,it’sbecauseyou’regettingsloppyinthedetails.Sogobackandthinkaboutstepone,steptwo,stepthree.Anddon’tthinkthatit’sembarrassingtogobacktostepone,two,orthree.

AjaanLee’simageisofapathoverwhichyouwalkbackandforth,backandforth,backandforth,manytimes.Hesays,one,thepathgetswornsmooth,andtwo,youseelittledetailsyouwouldn’thavenoticedifyouwalkedthroughitjustonce.Alotofthishastodowiththefactthatthemindisacomplexthingandsometimesyouhavetogooverthesamethingsagainandagainandagaintoseealltheimplications.

Sothat’sanotheraspectofbasicwisdomorwisdomfordummies.Ofcourse,thiskindofwisdomisnotgoingtokeepyoudumb.Infact,it’sthekindofwisdomthatgetsyououtofbeingadummy.Thedummiesaretheoneswhowanttolearnaboutemptinessanddependentco-arisingallatoncewithouthavinganyfoundation.Alltheygetareperceptions,labelsinthemind.Theydon’tactuallyseewheretheseteachings

49

areusefulandwhythey’reusefultools.TheBuddhadidn’tteachthesethingsjusttoshowoffhowsmarthewas.Everythinghetaughtwasforapurpose.Andwhenyourmindisready,thenyousee,“Oh,thisservesthatpurpose.”Whenyou’vegottenmoreskillfulatselfingandnot-selfingyourideas,forexample,you’vegotagoodfoundationforhowtousethenot-selfteachinginthemostskillfulwaypossible.Peoplewhodon’thavethatbackground,though,cantakethenot-selfteachinganduseittoshootthemselvesinthefoot.

AjaanLeegivestheexampleofpeoplewhowanttogetgoldoutofrock.Theyseesomebodytakingabigpick-axandcarryingbigloadsofrockbacktothesmelter,andtheysaytothemselves,“That’sdumb.Whowantsallthatrock?Allyouwantisthegold.”Sotheygoandtakealittletinytoothpicktogetjustthegoldrightoutoftherock,butitdoesn’tworkthatway.Youhavetotaketherockandputitinthesmelterandsubjectittoheat,andthenthemetals—tin,lead,copper,silver,andgold—willcomemeltingoutoftheirownaccord.Inotherwords,youfocusonthepracticaldetailsofmakingrighteffort,eveniftheyseemmundane—that’swhatthesmelterstandsfor—andthegoldwillappearinyourmind.

There’salotinthemeditationthatyoucan’tanticipate.Youcan’tplantoofarahead.Butyouknow:Thesearethesteps.We’reluckythatwehavethemlaidoutforus.AjaanLee’ssevenstepsinhis“Method2”:Ifthere’ssomethinggoingwronginyourmeditation,lookandseewhichofthestepsyou’renotgettingrightorwhichonesyou’regettingsloppyabout.Thenyoujustkeepdoingthemagainandagainandagain.Andgiveyourselfpeptalks.

It’slikeanymanualskillthatinvolvesalotofrepetitiveactions—likesharpeningaknifeonawhetstone:Whenyou’resharpeningaknife,youhavetobealert.Andyouhavetobeverysensitivetomakesurethatyou’renotruiningthebladebymakingsomepartstoosharporwearingdownsomepartstoomuchandothersnotenough.Theedgeofthebladehastobeveryevenandsmooth.Soyouhavetogiveyourselfpeptalksasyou’resittingthere,rubbingthebladeoverthestone,overthestone,overthestone,againandagainandagain.Ifyoukeepyourspiritsup,youfindthatyoucanmakeyourwaythroughanddothejobwell.

ThismaybeoneofthereasonswhytheajaansandZenmastersofoldwouldhaveyoulearnamanualskillbeforeyoumeditated,becausethequalitiesofmindthatgointomasteringaskillarepreciselythequalitiesofmindyouneedtomeditate.

Butthey’rebasicnotbecausethey’redumb.They’rebasicbecausethey’reimportant.They’reessentialtoeverythingelse.One:theteachingonlearninghowtoputthelongtermaheadoftheshortterm.Andtwo:theteachingonhownottoletthingsgetyoudownwhenthelongtermseemslong.Everyotheraspectofwisdom,nomatterhowrefined,comesoutofthesetwoprinciples.They’rethehabitsthatwillhelpseeyouallthewaythrough.

50

DefilementsAreRealFebruary14,2017

Alotofpeopledon’tliketheword“defilement.”ThisistruenotjustofmodernpeopleintheWest.EvenwaybackinBuddhisthistorytherewerepeoplewhosaid,“Well,aslongasyourealizethatthedefilementsarenotreal,thentheyhavenopoweroveryouandthat’stheendoftheproblem.”ThatparticularattitudehasmanagedtohangonintheBuddhisttraditionuptonow.

Buttheproblemwiththatisifyousaythatthedefilementslikegreed,aversion,anddelusionaren’treal,thatthey’renotevendefilements,it’slikesayingthatwhenthere’sdirtinyourhouse,it’snotreallydirt.It’sjustanaturalpartofthefloorandanaturalpartofthewall,soyou’rejustgoingtoleaveitthere.You’llneverknowwhatit’sliketohaveareallycleanhouse.

Thewholepurposeinhavingateachingondefilementistorealizethatthemindcouldbealotbrighterthanitis.Maybeit’struethatadirtyhouseisnatural,butacleanhouseispossible,andit’samuchnicerhousetolivein.Inthesameway,theBuddha’ssayingthatacleanmindispossible,andamuchnicermindtobewithaswell.Soinsteadoftakingtheword“defilement”asanaffronttoyourdignity,thinkofitasaveryusefulconceptforlivingwell.

Afterall,therearepartsofthemindthatgetinthewayofpracticingvirtue,therearepartsthatgetinthewayofpracticingconcentration,getinthewayofpracticingdiscernment.Thosearedefilements.Ifthey’recleanedawayfromthemind,themind’sgoingtobealotbrighter.

Howdoyoucleanthemaway?One,youlearnhowtogainasenseofdistancefromthem.Thereasontheyhavepoweroverusisthattheydisguisethemselvesasus.Greedcomesin,weassumethatit’sourgreed,it’sthewaywefeelaboutthatparticularobjectwewantandit’sourwanting.Thesamewithanger:We’reangry.Delusionsneaksuponusanddoesn’tevenletusknowit’sthere,butit’sthere,andweidentifywithwhateverdeludedideasitmaybring.

Thisiswheretheconceptofthecommitteeofthemindisveryuseful.Alltoooftenweseethecommitteeofthemindasaproblem,inthatthemindhassomanydesires,somanydifferentwants,andtheresomuchconflictinside.Allthosedifferentvoicescanoftengetinthewayofgettingthemindtosettledownandbestill.Butthepositivesideofhavingacommitteeisthatyoucanidentifywiththediscernment,youcanidentifywiththemindfulness,youcanidentifywithalltheothergoodvoicesinthemind.Thatallowsyoutostepbackfromthevoicesofgreed,aversion,anddelusion,to

51

lookatthemfromtheoutside.Afterall,whenyoulookatangerinsomebodyelse,it’sobviouslyaproblem.You

lookatgreedinsomebodyelse,it’sobviouslyaweakness.Soyouwanttobeabletoseeyourownangerandyourowngreedinthesameway.

Thisiswhywedevelopthepath.WedevelopallthedifferentstrengthsofthemindthattheBuddhatalksabout.ConvictionintheBuddha’sawakening,convictioninthepowerofaction;persistenceintryingtogiverisetoskillfulqualitiesandabandonunskillfulones;mindfulnesstokeepallthisinmind,sothatthemindcangetintoconcentrationandhaveasenseofitshomewhereitcanstayapartfromthegreed,aversion,anddelusion;andthenthediscernmenttotakethemapart.

Whengreedcomesin,youwanttobeabletoseewhyyou’reattractedtoit.Thesamewithanger,lust,jealousy:Thesethingsallhavetheirattractiveside.Ifyoudon’tadmitthattoyourself,you’llneverbeabletogetpastthem.Butyoualsohavetoseethedrawbacks.It’sinseeingthedrawbacksandweighingthemagainsttheattractiveside:That’swhenyoucanfinallygetpastthem,becauseyoucanseethattheyreallyarestainsonthemind.Theyreallyobscurealotoftheclaritythatcouldbethereinthemind.You’rebetteroffwithoutthem.

Theproblem,ofcourse,isthatwetendtofeedoffoftheirallure,thinkingthattheallureiswhatgivesspicetolife.That’stheflavorthatwegetfromthegreedortheaversionorthelustorthejealousy.Soweneedasenseofwell-beingintheconcentrationasourfoodwhilewepeelawayfromouroldfeedinghabits.Werealizethatthespiceshavebeenhidingthefactthatwe’vebeenfeedingondirt.

It’slikethatFarSidecartoonwherethecowsareinthepastureandoneofthemjerksherheadupandsays,“Hey,waitaminute.Thisisgrass!We’vebeeneatinggrass!”Well,we’vebeeneatingdirt.We’vebeeneatingallthestainsinthemind.Butbecausethey’redressedupwithalittlebitofspice,wethinkthey’rereallygood.Sonowwe’vegottofeedthemindonbetterthings.

Thefoodofconcentrationmaynotbeasexciting,itmaynotbeasspicy,butitisnourishinganddoesstrengthenthemind.Withthatstrength,wecanwithstandsomeoftheappealofthosedefilements.Wecanstepbackfromthemandsay,“Thisreallyisdirtinthemind.”We’rereadytostartcleaningitaway—learningtoseewhereweperceivetheattraction,whereweperceivetheneedtoidentifywiththesethings,andlearningtoquestionthat.

Alotofdiscernmentliesinquestioningthingswedon’tusuallyquestion,thingswesimplyassumetobeunavoidable.Themind’sgoingtohavetohavetheseemotions,weassume.Well,why?Whydowehavetorunwiththem?Whentheydocomeup,whydowehavetoembroiderthemfurther?

It’snotthecasethattheysimplyarisefull-blownontheirown.We’reimplicatedintheprocess.Alittlesomethingcomesintothemind,alittlestirring,anddependingon

52

whatwewantatthatpoint,weidentifythestirringasthatthingandthenwerunwithit.Soyouhavetoquestiontheperceptionsyouapplytothesethings.

Whensomethinggetsyouangry,taketheperceptionapart.Iswhatthatpersonhassaidordonereallyallthatbad?Andevenifitisallthatbad,isangerjustified?Orrather:Isithelpful?Ifit’ssomethingyoureallyhavetodealwith,anger’sgoingtogetinthewaybecauseyou’renotgoingtobeabletoseethingsclearly.Thesamewithgreed:Youstartdoingallkindsoffoolishthingsunderthepowerofgreed.Thesamewithlust.Thesethingsmakeustheirslaves.

Sohoweveryouperceivethedrawbacks—whetherit’sjustasastainonthemindthatobscuresitsclarity,orsomethingthatcomesinandturnsyouintoaslave,whateveryoucanseetorealizethatthesearethingsyoudon’twanttogetinvolvedwith—recognizethatthey’rethereandlearnhowtopullyourselfawayfromthem.

WhentheBuddhasaidthatthemindisluminousandthedefilementscomeinandvisit,he’snotsayingthatwehaveapurenaturetobeginwith.Ifournaturewerepure,thenwewouldn’tgoforthedefilementsanyhow.Theluminousqualityofthemindmeansthatthere’saclaritytoit,thatyoucanactuallyseethethingsyou’redoing.Youcanbegintoseethatwhenyoufollowaparticularunskillfulstate,thesearetheconsequences.Youcanalsoseewhentheunskillfulstatearisesinthemind.Youcanstartseeingthestagesbywhichitcomes,intheplacewherethere’salittlebitofallureandyougofortheallureandthenyouswallowthewholehookalongwiththebait.It’sthisluminousqualityofthemindthatallowsustoseethesethings,tostepbackfromthegreedortheaversionorthedelusionoranyoftheothersubsidiarydefilements.

Andthenwebenefit.Werealizethatthemindisalotcleanerthanitwasbefore,alotbrighterthanitwasbefore.It’slesslikelytobepickedupbythesethingsanddraggedaround.Andthat’swhenyouseethebenefitoftheteachings.It’sreallygoodtoberemindedagainandagainandagain:greed,aversion,anddelusionarestainsonthemind.They’refaultsinthemind.Andthere’sawaytogetpastthem.

Thefactthatwecanhavedifferentcommitteemembersinthemindallowsustostepawayfromtheunskillfulones.Ifthemindweretotallyoneidentityanditweredefiledbynature,therewouldbenothingyoucoulddo.You’dhavetowaitforsomehelpfromoutside.Butthefactisthattheminddoeshavethatclarity,thatluminousnature,whereitcanseewhat’sgoingoninside.Andthecommitteehasskillfulmembersthatcanbestrengthened,sotheycanstepbackandviewthedefilementsasalien,assomethingthatdoesn’thavetobethere,somethingthat’sintrudedintothemind.Allofthismeansyoucandosomethingaboutthisyourself:Youcancleanoutyourmind.

Sorememberthatthemindcouldbealotbrighterthanitis,alothappierthanitis.Somepeopletakethatasaburdensomethought—thatthere’smoreworktobedone—becausethey’dliketohearthatthere’snothingmoretheyneedtodo.Whichmeansthattheyjustwanttolivewiththedirtandtellthemselvesthatit’snotdirt.Buttheynever

53

gettoseewhatareallycleanmindwouldbelike.TheBuddha’stellingyouaboutyourdefilements,nottoburdenyouwithanextra

unpleasantduty,buttoprovideyouwithanopening,apossibilitywhereyoucouldfindwhatit’sliketohaveareallygoodmindwithagoodnessthat’ssogood,acleanlinesssoclean,thatyou’llneverneedanythingelse.

Soseetheteachingondefilementassomethingthat’sreallyhelpfulandkind,andnotasapersonalaffront.That’llallowyoutogetthemostoutofit.

54

InsightIsaJudgmentCallSeptember29,2016

Whenthegreatajaanswerepracticingintheforest,theywereouttherealone.Whatkeptthemgoingwastherealizationthattheyweren’treallyalone.Theybelongedtosomethingmuchlarger.Theybelongedtothecultureofthenobleones.Thisisacultureyoucanjoinsimplybyadoptingitsvalues.Andyouwanttoremindyourselfofthosevalues,especiallyinthislandofwrongview,becauseotherwiseyoustartfeelinglonely.Youstartfeelingthatyou’retheonlypersonpracticingandyourvaluesaren’tinlinewiththoseofotherpeople.Andthosepeopledon’tjustsitbyandwatchneutrally.Mostpeopletrytopushyouintheirdirection:todowhattheydo,thinkthewaytheythink.Sothinkabouthowthenobleoneswouldrespondtothatpressure.AjaanFuang’simageonetimewasofpeoplewhohavesteppedindogshitandthenwanttomakesureeverybodyelsestepsindogshit,too.You’vegottothinkinthosetermsifyouwantyourpracticetosurvive.

Sothinkaboutthevaluesofthecustomsofthenobleones.Therearefouraltogether.Thefirstthreehavetodowithcontentment.You’recontentwithwhateverfood,clothing,orshelteryouget.You’renotconstantlythinkingaboutwaystomakethefoodbetter,ortheclothingbetter,ortheshelterbetter.Theremaybetimeswhenyoufeelthatsomething’sreallylacking.Butifthesethingsservetheirpurpose—andthisisoneofthereasonswhywehavethatreflectioneveryeveningtorememberwhatthatpurposeis—thenyou’vegotenough.

Youreallydon’tneedtobeambitioustomakeyourselflargeintheworld,justforthesakeofmorefood,moreclothing,ormoreshelter.Evenifyouhaveathousandsetsofclothing,youcanonlywearoneatatime.Andthatthoughtfreesyou.Itfreesyoufromalltheextraworkyou’dhavetodotogetthingsthatarebasicallyextraneous,thatarethereonlyforshow.

Thatallowsyoutofocusonthemostimportantofthecustomsofthenobleones,whichistodelightindevelopingskillfulqualitiesandtodelightinabandoningunskillfulqualities.Inotherwords,youwanttomakeyourselfwanttodothesethings.Sometimesitdoesn’thappennaturally,evenwhenyou’repracticing.Therearetimeswhenthemomentumbeginstowearout.Youneedtogiveyourselfpeptalks,toremindyourselfofwhyyou’redoingthisandwhyit’sagoodthing.

You’relearningtomakeajudgmentcallastowhat’sworthdoing,what’snot,andtakingdelightinwhatisreallyworthdoing.Themindcalculatesthesethingsallthetime.There’sapartofthebrainthatkeepssaying,“Isthisworthit,theenergythatgoeshere?Orwouldtheenergygobetterthere?”That’sabasicfunctionofthemind.The

55

problemisthatitoftenmalfunctions,basedeitheronourownpastexperiencesoronourownlackofclarityastowhattheresultsofouractionswillbe.Soalotofthetrainingislearninghowtoreadouractionssothatwecanmakeabetterjudgmentcallastowhat’sworthdoing,what’snot.

Wisdombeginswiththosequestions:“What,whenIdoit,willleadtomylong-termwelfareandhappiness?What,whenIdoit,willleadtomylong-termharmandsuffering?”Lookateverythingintermsofactions—thisrealitythatwe’retrappedin,thatwe’vecreated,thatwekeeponcreatingthroughourownfabrication.Youcouldsayit’saweboffabrication.Itsoundslikeaweboflies,whichisnotquitewhattheword“fabrication”meanshere:It’ssimplysomethingthat’sputtogether.We’reconstantlyassemblingit.Andit’sconstantlyfallingapart.Sowekeepassemblingitsomemore.We’redriventodothisbecauseweliketofeedonthesethings.Wethinkit’sworththeeffortthatgoesintoit,sothatwecangetthefoodthatcomesoutofourefforts.

Theproblemisthatsometimeswe’reimpatient.Wewantthefoodrightnow,sowe’renottoopickyaboutwhatwegetrightnow.Aslongaswegetsomethingrightnow,we’rehappy.Thisisoneofthereasonswhy,aswepractice,wetrytofindalternativesourcesoffood,trytogetanothervisceralpleasure,asidefromthepleasureofsights,sounds,tastes,smells,tactilesensations.Weneedthepleasureofconcentrationasasubstitute.AstheBuddhaoncesaid,youcanknowallthedrawbacksofsensuality,butifyoudon’thaveanalternativepleasure,suchasthepleasureofrightconcentration,thenyou’regoingtogobacktofeedingoffalltheoldthingsthatyoutoldyourselfwerebad,becauseyoudon’tseethealternative.It’snotimmediatelythere.Sothepleasureofconcentrationisoneofthewayswekeepourselvessustainedonthepath.

TheBuddha,whenhewasdescribingthenobleeightfoldpath,atonepointcalledrightconcentrationthemainfactor,whiletherestweretheauxiliaryorhelpingfactors.Rightconcentrationiswhereyougettousepleasureinaskillfulway,apleasureyougainwhilestayingfocusedonthebreath.Butatthesametime,youlearnanimportantlessonaboutpleasure:thatifyougorunningafterthepleasure,you’regoingtolosethecause.Soyoustickwiththecauseandenablethepleasuretodeveloponitsown.Andit’lldoitswork.Youdon’thavetogobbleitdown.It’llsuffusethroughthebody,nourishwhateverimmediateneedyoufeelforasenseofwell-being.Andthatputsyouinabetterplacetomakeabetterjudgmentaboutwhat’sworthdoing,what’snot.

WhentheBuddhatalksaboutdevelopingdiscernmentfromthosefirsttwoquestions,alotofitfocusesonactions.There’sthediscernmentthatcomeswithlearninghowtogetyourselftodothingsyoudon’tliketodo,butyouknowaregoingtogivegoodlong-termresults;andthediscernmentthatgetsyoutostopyourselffromdoingthingsthatyouliketodobutaregoingtocauselong-termharm.Thiskindofdiscernmentispractical.Strategic.Andwedevelopithow?Bybeingvirtuous,bydoingvirtuousthings,bybeinggenerous,bygiving.

56

Andwegaindiscernmentbyacting.TheBuddharecommendsgoodwaystoact:Hesaysthatifyouactthisway,you’regoingtogetgoodresults.Youputittothetestandyoufindthatit’strue.Thereisasenseofwell-being.Whenyougivesomething,thewell-beingthatyougaininsideisworthmuchmorethantheobjectyougave.Andit’smuchmoreyours.Itbecomesyourkammanow.Itbecomesahabit,aqualityofthemind.

Thesamewithvirtue,whenyoureallyputvirtueintopracticebyfollowingtheprecepts:Trytomakeitanabsolutepromisetoyourselfthatyou’regoingtosticktotheseprecepts.Youcatchyourselfabouttodothingsthatyouusedtodoandyouusedtothinkwereokay,butyoustop.Yourealizethattheyhavetheirdrawbacks.Andagain,youhavetolearnhowtothinkstrategicallysothatyoucansticktothepreceptnottolieandnottokill,eveninsituationswhereit’sdifficult.Butyoulearn,withtime,thatyou’reahappierperson.

Soyougaindiscernmentbylearninghowtoactproperly.Thismakesyoumoreandmoresensitivetotheroleyouplayinshapingyourexperience.Thenyoufinallygettothesubtlerlevelsofdiscernment,forexample,theBuddha’squestionnaireoninconstancy,stress,andnot-self.

Theteachingonnot-selfisnotmeanttomakeyoucometotheconclusionthatthereisnoself.It’smeanttogetyoutoaskaquestion:Isitworthitinthissituationtocreateasenseofself?Tomakea“me”ora“mine”?Youlearnhowtoapplythosequestionsstrategically.Inotherwords,whileyou’redevelopingconcentration,youdon’tapplythemtotheconcentration.Youapplythemtothethingsthatwouldpullyouaway.

Whenyou’retryingtobevirtuous,whenyou’retryingtobegenerous,again,youapplythosequestionstothingsthatwouldpullyouawayfromthesepractices.It’sonlywhenthepathisfullydevelopedthatyouapplythosequestionstoeverything.Notice,it’savaluejudgment.Youaskyourself,“Isitworthsaying,‘Thisisme.Thisismine’?”Insightisalwaysajudgmentcall.Andyouwanttolearnhowtodelightinmakingmoreandmoreskillfuljudgments.

IwastalkingonthisthemeafewdaysagotoaBuddhistgroupintheBayArea.Awomancameupafterwardsandsaid,“Gee,thinkingabouthowmyactionsshapemylife:That’sputtingawholenewperspectiveonthings.Itmeansmylifeisn’tshapedbymyDNA.”Andmyanswerwas,“Well,yes.ThisiswhattheBuddha’stalkingabout.Youshapeyourlife.”He’sputtingyouinapositionofpower.Thequestionis,areyougoingtomaintainthatpositionofpowerorareyougoingtosuccumbtothepartsofthemindthatdon’twanttoputalltheeffortintobeingskillful?Ifyoutrytomaintainthatpositionofpower,you’refollowingthecultureofthenobleones.Thisisonewayofmotivatingyourself:takingasenseofjoy,delightinginwhatyou’redoing.Youcanmotivateyourselfthroughheedfulness.Youcanmotivateyourselfthroughskillfulshame,skillfulpride,compassion:compassionforothers,compassionforyourself.Oryoucoulddoitsimplythroughthepridethatcomesfromlearninghowtodosomething

57

skillfully:tomakemoreandmoreskillfuljudgmentcalls.Anotherpersonthateveningsaidtome,“You’remakingitsoundallveryordinary

andpsychological.”Well,that’showitstarts.Youstartbylookingatyourselfasanagentandaskingyourself,“HowcanIbeamoreskillfulagent?HowcanImakemydecisionsmoreskillfully?”Andyoupursuethismoreandmoretodeeperlevels,subtlerlevels,whereyoufindthatwhatyou’retakingapartisnotsoordinary.

Yougettoaverydeeplevelandtheeffectithasonyourexperienceofthesensesgetsveryradical.Itopensyouuptoanotherdimension.Thereisadimensionthatisunfabricated:Itdoesn’trequirethatyoukeeptendingtoitandkeepfeedingitorkeepfeedingoffit.Everythingisunconditionedinthatdimensionanditdoesn’trequireallthisconstantcare.Itdoesn’trequireanagent.Andopeninguptothatdimensionisveryradical.Thefinalactsonthepaththatallowyoutodothatarejudgmentcallsaswell.

Soifyou’regoingtolearnhowtogettothatradicallevel,youhavetofirstdeveloptheordinary,everydayleveloflearningtobemoreskillfulinhowyouspeakandhowyouthinkandhowyouact,lookingagainandagainatwhatyou’redoing:rememberingwhatyoushouldbedoingandlookingtoseeifyouactuallyaredoingit.Likethelessonwehadabouttheclotheslinetoday.Yourememberwhichsideoftherobetoexposetothesunandthenyouchecktomakesurethatthat’sthesideoftherobeyou’reexposing.Andthenyoulookattheresults.Therobedoesn’tfadesoquickly.Simplethingslikethat,butyoumovefromthesimplethingstothesubtlerones.Andthere’sagreatersenseofself-esteemthatcomesasyoulearntomakemoreandmorepreciseandskillfuljudgmentcallsinalltheareasofyourlife.

Soremember,asyougothroughtheday,thateverythingyoudoisachoice.Everythingyoudoinvolvesintention.Andifyoulearnhowtolookcarefullyatthem—theseintentionsandthesechoices—andstickwiththedesiretobeasskillfulaspossible,tobeamemberofthatnobleculture,thecultureofthenobleones,youfindthatyouactuallydotakemoreandmorejoyandmoreandmoredelightindevelopingwhat’sskillful,abandoningwhat’sunskillful,andtheresultsgodeeperanddeeper.

AsLuangPuDuneoncesaid,“Thepracticeisonethingclearthrough.”Hedidn’tsaywhatthatonethingwas.It’sactuallyaclusterofthings,buttheyallworktogether.Oneofthemisthisabilitytomakebetterandbetterjudgmentcalls.That’swhatyourdiscernmentis,that’swhatinsightis.It’sapracticethat,onwhateverlevel,younoticethatyou’remakingadecision,makingachoice,andintryingtodothatskillfully,youseehowthepathandalltheareasofyourlifeconnect.

58

TheTrainTrestleDecember30,2016

Putasidetheworldoutsideforawhileandfocusontheworldinside.Whathaveyougothere?You’vegotthebody—particularly,you’vegotthebreath—you’vegotfeelings,andyou’vegotthemind.Youwanttobringthosealltogetherinawaythat’snourishingforallthree.

Takeacoupleofgoodlong,deepin-and-outbreaths.Noticewhereyoufeelthebreathinginthebody.Someaspectsofthebreathingwillbemoreobviousthanothers.Focusontheareasthataremostobvious,ortheonesthatyoufeelmostsensitiveto.There’saspotinthebodythatyouusuallyusetomarkwhenthebreathhascomeinenough,sothatyouknow,“Nowit’stimeforittogoout.Nowit’sgoneoutenough.It’stimeforittocomebackin.”Findthatspot.Ifthere’sanytensionortightnessaroundit,letitloosenup.Thisway,thebreathimmediatelyrelatestofeelings,whichyoubegintoseedon’tjustcomeandgoontheirown.Youdothingstoinducethem.Therearecertainlimitstowhatyoucando—thishastodowithpastkamma—butwithinthelimitsofwhatyou’vegothere,youwanttomakethebestuseofthepotentialsyou’vegot.

Asforthemind,isitwillingtostayhererightnow?Sometimes,ifit’snotstaying,theproblemiswiththebreathorwiththefeelings.Sometimesit’swiththethoughtsgoingoninthemind:thingsleftoverfromtheday.Ifyoufindalotofleft-overstuff,sortthroughitabit.ImaginetheBuddha’spointofview,andthinkofwhathewouldhavetosayabouttheissuesthatarecomingupinyourmindrightnow,howhemightadviseyoutotakealargerview,letthemgo.Thenyou’rereadytogetbackwiththebreath.

Whatyou’redoinghereiscreatingwhat’scalledastateofbecoming.Becomingisasenseofaparticularworldofexperienceandyouridentityinthatworld.Rightnow,you’rethemeditatorandtherelevantworldistheworldofyourbodyrighthere,togetherwithyourawarenessofthebody.Thisworldisbasedonadesire:thedesiretogetthemindtosettledown,tofindsomepeaceinthepresentmoment.Andbasedonthatdesire,youhavetoadjustthings.

Youadjustthebreath.Youadjustyourthoughts.Youadjustyourfeelings.Allthat’scalledfabrication.It’showwecreateourinnerworld.It’showwecreateourouterworldsaswell.Thisisoneofthereasonswhygettingthemindinagoodstateofconcentrationlikethis,withtheproperunderstanding,issuchagoodlaboratory.Youlookattheworldoutsideanditseemsprettyconfusing.Yousay,“HowcouldIhavecreatedthis?”Youdidn’tcreateeverything,butyoucreatedyourexperienceofit.

59

Andtheproblemisthatworldsdon’tjustsitthere.Theymove.Andyoudon’tjustsitthere,either.Youmove,too.Youfindthatyoucan’tstayinaparticularworld,soyoumoveontoanotherone,andthenanotherone,becausethemindisconstantlytryingtofindsomeplacetostayinworldsthatkeepcollapsinganddisintegrating.Sometimesitmovesoutofdesperation,sometimesit’sfeelingthreatened,soittendstopiecethingstogetherprettyquickly,prettyhaphazardly,notknowingwhatit’sdoing.That’swhywefindourselvesinsituationswherewecan’timaginewhywegotthereorhowwewouldhavewantedtobethere.Wedidn’twanttobethere.Ourdesireswerepointingsomeplaceelse,buttheywereconfused.Confusedandignorant.

Sowe’retryingtolearnhowtodothisprocesswithmoreknowledgeandmoreskill.Atthesametime,increatingastateofconcentrationlikethis,wegiveourselvesaplacetostepbackoutofotherworlds.Younoticethisveryclearlyasyougetdistractedbysomething.You’reinanotherworld.There’skindofablackingout,andsuddenlyyou’resomeplaceelse.Butyoucanremindyourself,“I’mmeditating.”Youcanpullyourselfback.You’vegotanotherplacetoreturnto:aplacethat’smoresolid,that’snotcollapsingaroundyouallthetime.

Thereissomeimpermanencehere,someinconstancy,butrelativetoalotofotherthingsinlife,thisstateofconcentrationisprettyconstant.Itallowsyoutoputdownyourguardabit.AstheBuddhasaid,settleinhere.Indulgeinthepleasureoftheconcentration,becausethemindneedsthatsenseofpleasure.Otherwise,it’sgoingtogooutlookingforotherthingstowolfdown.Allowthesenseofpleasuretodevelopandletitspreadthroughoutthewholebody.Seeifyoucangetittospreadtoplacesyouhaven’tbeenthinkingaboutforawhile,areasthatyoumighttendtoforget.

Thisiswhyit’sgoodtohaveasystematicwayofgoingthroughthebodywithachecklist.Buteventhosesystemscanmisssomethings.Socastyourgazearoundandseewhatneedstobesoothedinthebody,energizedinthebody,orrelaxedinthebody,sothatthisbecomesagoodplacetostay.You’regoingtotrytomoveintothisworld,andit’slikemovingintoahouse.Youwanttomakeitahome,aplacewhereyoucanfeelatyourease.Andwhileyou’redoingthis,youlearnalotabouthowthemindbuildshomes.

ThatwastheBuddha’simageafterhisawakening.Herealizedthathehadhadahousebuilderinhismindthatkeptonbuildingnewhouses,newhouses,againandagain.Itfashionednewhousesastheoldhousescollapsed,andmovedintothenewones.Butthenthenewonescollapsed,too—sometimesevenwhentheywerestillunderconstruction—sohehadtobuildmore.Andfinally,onawakening,herealizedhehadreachedastatethatwasn’tbuiltandwasn’tgoingtocollapse.Hedidn’tneedthehousebuilderanymore.Thisisausefulimagetoapplytoyourlife.Seehowyou’rebuildinghouses.Areyoubuildingthemonsandorareyoubuildingthemonsolidrock?Whataretheyexposedto?

Somehousesareexposedtomoredangersthanothers.Thisisanotherreasonwhy

60

youwanttohaveagoodplaceinside,becauseit’salotlessexposed.Atthesametime,youcanseemoreclearlythisprocessofhowyoufabricatethings.Youseewhichthoughts,whichfeelings,andwhichphysicalsensationsyoutendtolatchontoandwhatyoucreateoutofthem.Thisway,youlearntodoitwithmoreknowledge,morefinesse.

Thinkaboutsamsara.AnimagethatspringstomindisoneofthosecartoonswhereBugsBunnyisinatraingoingoverabigrailroadtrestleoverahugechasm.Asthetraingoesalong,thetrestle’scollapsingbehindhim.Sohe’sgottokeepgoing,going,andgoing.Wheresamsaraisdifferentfromthisimageisthatinthecartoon,thepartofthetrestleaheadofhimisalreadythere,whereaswhenwe’regoingthroughlife,someofthethingsthatwe’regoingtoberunningtoarealreadydetermined,butalotofthemarenot.We’rescramblingtobuildthetraintrestleaheadofus,hopingthatit’llreachtheotherside.Andalltoooften,wedoitwithgreed,aversion,delusion,envy,jealousy:allkindsofunskillfulmindstates,alongwiththatsenseofbeingthreatenedbythecollapseofthingsbehindus.Sowetendtodoashoddyjob,whichiswhywefindourselvesinworldsthatwewouldn’tliketobein.

Sohere,aswemeditate,wehaveachancetogetabettersenseofhowthemindfabricatesthings.Again,it’snottotalworldcreation.Inotherwords,youcan’tcreatesomethingoutofnothing.You’vegotrawmaterialcominginfrompastkamma,whichsometimescanplaceseverelimitationsonwhatyoucando.Butyoualwayshavethechoicetodosomethingskillfulwithit.Thatchoiceisalwaysthere.It’ssimplythatwe’relatchingontootherthingsthatmakeuspushtheskillfulalternativeaside.Ifyougivethemindamoresolidplacelikethis,youcandoyourworkwithclearervision,alotmorepatience,butatthesametime,youcanbemoreefficientinhowyouputtogethertherightwaytobeinaparticularworld.

Soeventhoughtheremaybesomesituationswherethere’sgoingtobealotofpainoralotofconfusion,youdon’thavetosufferfromthepainorbeconfusedaboutwhatyou’redoing.Thatputsyouinabetterpositiontohelpyourself—andotherpeople,too.Becauseifeverythinginyourlifeisgoingupinflamesandyoutrytohelpsomebodyelsewho’sgoingupinflames,sometimesyoujustaddmorefiretotheirs.Butifyou’reinacool,safeplace,youcanpullthoseotherpeopleout—towhateverextenttheywanttobepulled.

Sothisisnotaselfishprocess.Ourworldsintersect,sothewayyoucreateyourworld,ifit’sdonewithskill,willhaveagoodinfluenceonotherpeople.We’reheretogettoknowthisaspectofthemindthat’sbuildinghouses,buildingrailroadtrestles,sothatwecanhavebetterandbetterplacestomoveintountileventuallywegettowherethetrestlereachestheotherside.That’swhenwe’resafe.Untilthen,it’sgoingtokeepcollapsingbehindus.

Evenaswesitheremeditating,thingsarecollapsingbehindus.Worldswherewe’vebeeninthepast:They’regone.Eventhepastmomentisgone.Forever.Wehavetolook

61

atwhatworldswe’recreatingrightnowandwhatworldsthey’regoingtoleadto,onintothefuture.AstheBuddhasaid,we’reallonapathofonesortoranother,andthosepathshavetheirdifferentdestinations.Alltoooften,wedon’trealizewhatthedestinationis.Somepeoplegetthemselvesonthepathtothelowerdestinations.Theyhaven’tchosenthatdestination,butthepaththey’vechosenisgoingtotakethemthere.It’soutofignorancethatthey’reheadedinthatdirection.Thisiswhyit’sgoodtohavetheDhammatogiveusaclearsenseofwhatpathsthereareintheworldandwhatkindsofactionsleadinwhatdirectionsowecanchoosewiselyandconstructsomethingthat’lltakeustosafety.

62

TheBurningHouseMay4,2016

Wefocusonthepresentmomentsothatwegivethemindasenseoffeelingathomehere.Thisistheplacewhereyoubelong.Now,formostofus,wedon’tlivehere.Weliveinthepast,weliveinthefuture,andcomerunningthroughthepresentmomentjustforamoment,likeakidwhodoesn’tspendmuchtimeathome.Hewantssomethingfromhome,comesrunningin,andthenhegoesrunningoutagain.Butrighthereiswherealotofdecisionsarebeingmade.And,aslifegoeson,thisawarenessrightherewiththebodyisgoingtobecomeabiggerandbiggerissue.Asthebodybeginstobreakdown,illnesscomes,paincomes.Soonyoufindyourselflessandlessabletodothingsyouusedtobeabletodobefore.Themindgetsmoreandmoreropedintobeinghere,muchagainstitswill.

Butifyoulearnhowtosettleinherewellinadvance,youhaveasenseofhowtheawarenessinthepresentmomentcanrelatetothebodyinsuchawaythatitdoesn’thavetosufferfromtheissuesinthebody.Thatway,aging,illness,anddeatharenotmuchofaproblem.They’resimplyissuesofthebody,buttheminddoesn’thavetosuffer.Soyouwanttogetthismoment,thepresentmoment,moreandmoreunderyourcontrol.Youwanttogetthemindundercontrol.Youwanttogetmoreandmorefamiliarwiththeterritory.It’sasifsomeoneisthreateningtomugyouatacertaincorner,soyougodownandlookatthecornerandyoufigureout:Wherearetheescaperoutesthatallowyoutorunaway?Howcanyouescape?Howcanyougetthroughsafely?

Sogettoknowthisspot.Gettoknowhowthoughtsariseinthepresentmoment,howtheytakeshape,howtheygetnourishedbyyourattention,andhowyoucanstarvesomethoughtsifyoufindthatthey’reunhealthyorunhelpful.Therearelotsofthingstolearnhere.

Buteventhoughthisisourhome,wewon’tbespendingallofourtimeathome.Therearetimeswhenyouhavetothinkaboutthepastoraboutthefuture.Someonewastellingmetheotherdaythattheyheardsomeonesaythatifyou’rethinkingaboutthepastandfuture,you’resuffering;ifyou’reinthepresentmoment,you’renotsuffering.Well,that’snotthecase.Itmakesitsoundasif,toavoidsuffering,youcansimplynotthinkasyouhangoutinthepresentmoment.Thatmayavoidafewkindsofsuffering,butthat’snothowtheBuddhataught.Hetaughtpeopletothink,andtothinkinthelong-term:“What,whenIdoit,willleadtomylong-termwelfareandhappiness?”That’sthequestionthatliesatthebeginningofwisdomanddiscernment.

Sotobediscerning,you’vegottothinkouttothelongtermastowhatisreally

63

important.Andthatgivesyouaperspectiveonthepresentmoment.Infact,whentheBuddhatalksabouttheimportanceofbeingrightinthepresentmoment—andit’sinterestingthathedoesn’ttalkaboutitthatmuch—butwhenhedoes,it’sbecauseherealizedthattherearethingsthathavetobedonebeforeyoudieifyouwanttodiewell—inotherwords,todiewithskill.

Youdon’tknowhowmuchtimeyou’vegot.Youcanspendalotoftimeplanningforyouroldage,andthenitturnsoutthatyoudon’tlivetilloldage.Somethinghappensbeforethen.Soyouwanttobereadytogoatanytime.It’slikeknowingthatthere’safireoffinthedistanceandyoumightbecalledontoevacuateatanymoment.Youneedtohaveyourvaluablespacked.Butyoucan’ttakeallyourvaluables.Youhavetofigureoutwhichthingsareimportantandyouhavetokeepthemreadyathandsothatwhenthetimecomestogo,youpickupthebagandyou’regone.You’vegotalltheimportantthingswithyou.

Butwhenyouthinkaboutthelongterm,howdoesthatreflectbackonthepresentmoment?Itpointstowhat’simportantinthepresentmoment.Theshapeofyourmindisimportant.Whenanythingcomesupinthemindthatcouldpullyouaway,saying,“We’llhavealittleentertainmentrightnow,”or“Thinkaboutthisbecauseyoulikethisorthat”:Youhavetolookatthelong-termconsequences.Inotherwords,theBuddhaisnottellingusnottothinkaboutthepastorthefuture,he’stellingushowtothinkaboutthepastandthefuture.Intermsofthepast,hewantsyoutobemindful,torememberthegoodDhammalessonsyou’velearnedfromthepast.Thatincludesnotonlywhatyou’veheardorreadintermsoftheDhamma,butalsowhatyou’velearnedfromyourownactions.Whatkindsofactionsleadtoharm?Whatkindsofactionsdon’tleadtoharm?Youlearnhowtotakeresponsibilityforlookingatwhat’sgoingon—andnotjust“goingon,”butalsolookingathowyou’veshapedyourlifeandtryingtolearnlessonsfromwhatyou’vedoneastohowbettertoshapeitnowandinthefuture.

Thisdirectsyourthoughtsfromthepasttothefuture.Thefuturedoesn’tendwithdeath.Itgoesbeyond,anditgoesbeyondinaparticularway.Therearesomereligionsthatsaythat,afteryoudie,it’seithereternaldamnationoreternalbliss.Butthoseteachingsdon’treallyencourageyoutolookatyouractions,becausethereisnohumanactionthatcouldpossiblyearneternaldamnationorearneternalbliss.Soyou’relefthanging.Anditallsoundsveryarbitrary.Somebodyelseoutthereismakingthedecisions,whichmeansthatyou’renotmakingthedecisions,whichdoesn’tencourageyoutolearnfromyouractions.

ButtheBuddhadoesn’tteachthatway.Heteachesanotherway.Hesaysthatyouractionsdoshapethefuture,andtheresultsinthefuturearegoingtobeproportionaltoyouractions.Yetalotofthingsgointodecidingwhatthatproportionis.Andifyoudon’treallygetyouracttogether,theprocessisjustgoingtokeepgoingon,andon,andon,upanddown,upanddown.Ashesaid,it’slikethrowingastickupintheair.Sometimesitlandsonthisend;sometimesitlandsontheotherend;sometimesitlands

64

flatinthemiddle.Ifwejustfollowthelineofoneperson’smanylifetimes,itseemsprettyrandom.

Butwhenyouseethelargerpicture,yourealizethatyouractionsarethefactordeterminingthelong-termcourse.Thisiswhyit’sgoodtoreflectonthepastactionsthatyou’vedone—theonesthathadgoodresults,theonesthathadbadresults—andaskyourselfwhatlessonsyoucanlearnasyouheadintothefuture.

Soit’snotjustbeinginthepresentmoment,orhangingoutinthepresentmoment,thatcountsaspractice.Learninghowtothinkproperlyaboutthepastandthinkproperlyaboutthefuture:Thoseareimportantaspectsofthepractice,too.Theyputthepresentmomentintoperspective.Becauseifyoudon’tgettherightperspectiveonthepresentmoment,therecanbealotofsuffering.Evenjusttryingtoberighthereinthepresentmoment—ifyouhaven’tlearnedhowtomasterthepresentmoment—canentailalotofsufferingrighthere.There’sthesufferingoftheaggregates,there’sthesufferingofclingingandcraving.Thesearethingsthatwehavetosortout.Oncewehavesortedthemout,that’sarealtreasure.That’savaluablethatyouwanttomakesureisinyourbagsothatwhenthetimetoevacuatecomes,you’vegotgoodthingstoseeyouthrough.

Alotofpeoplejuststufftheirlittlebagwithallkindsofgarbage,whatever’sathand,andblamealltheirsufferingonthefactthatthefireisgoingtocome.Well,thefiresofaging,illness,anddeatharecoming,burningusallthetime.That’snotsomethingwecanchange.Whatwecanchangeiswhatwetakewithus,whatwesalvagefromthisburninghouse.

Soeventhoughconcentrationprovidesuswithahomehereinthepresentmoment,it’saburninghouse.Forthetimebeing,asweworkonourconcentration,wetrytofindaroomtostaywhereit’scool,wherethingsarefireproof,orrelativelyfireproof,sowecanfigureoutwhat’sgoingonintherestofthehouse.Buttherewillcomeatimewhenyoucan’tevenstayinthisroomanymore.Sowheredoyougo?

Thisisoneofthereasonswhy,whenweworkonconcentrationpractice,wetrytogetultimatelytoasenseofjustawarenessinandofitself.Inthebeginning,alotoftheconcentrationisamatteroflearninghowtostaywiththebreath,togettothepointwherethemindandthebreath—yourawarenessandthebreath—seemtobeone.Whereverthere’sawareness,there’sbreath;whereverthere’sbreath,there’sawareness.Butyoudon’twanttostayatthatstage.Youwanttomoveontothenextstage,whichislearningtoseethat,asthesethingssittogetherforawhile,theybegintoseparatenaturally.It’seasiesttoseewhenyougetthemindstilltothepointwherethebreathisactuallystillaswell,andthesenseofthebodybeginstodissolve.Thenyou’vegotawarenessjustonitsown.Whenyoulearntomaintainthatsenseofawarenessonitsown,youcometosee,“Thisishowthebodyimpingesonyourawarenessinthepresentmoment,butthenthere’stheawarenessitself,whichissomethingseparate.”

65

Youfirstseethisclearlyattimeswhenthesenseofthebodygoes,butit’sreallyusefultobeabletomaintainthatsenseofawarenessassomethingseparateevenwhenyourawarenessofthebodyisthereaswell.That’samuchsaferhome.It,too,hasitsburningedges,butit’salotsafer.Andit’sbyhangingontotheawarenessthatyoumakesurethatyou’reinamuchbetterpositiontonoticewhat’scomingandwhat’sgoing,howthemindlatchesontothings,andhowitdoesn’thavetolatchontothings.That’swhenyou’vegotarealtreasure.Andit’llbefoundhereinthepresentmoment.You’renotgoingtofinditinthepastorinthefuture.

Butwhenyoulearnhowtothinkproperlyaboutthepastandthinkproperlyaboutthefuture,itreallyhelpsfocusyouonwhat’simportantinthepresentmoment.Wetalkaboutdevelopingalertnessastowhat’sgoingoninthepresent.Butitsfocusisnotjustonwhatever’shappeninginthepresent.Itsfocusisonwhatyou’redoing.Why?Becausethat’sthelessoncomingfromthepastandaimingatthefuture:You’vegottoreallyfocusonwhatyou’redoingbecausethat’sthemostimportantthinghappeninginthepresentmoment,forthesakeofyourhappinessnowandonintothefuture.We’renotherejusttobeawareofwhateverimpingesonyourawareness,becausetherearelotsofthingsinthepresentmomentthatarereallyirrelevanttothebigissues:thefactthatthepresentmomentisburning,thishomeinthepresentmomentisburning,andyou’vegottodeveloptheskillsthatenableyounottogetburned.

Sothinkofthepracticeasanall-aroundpractice.We’renotjustpracticinginthepresentmoment.We’realsolearninghowtoengagethepastandengagethefuture,sothatthelessonsofthepastdon’tgetlost,andsothatthefuturedoesholdouttheprospectthatsomedayyou’llfindsomethinglyingbeyondpast,present,andfuture.That’stheplacethat’sreallysafe.TheBuddhadoesn’ttalkaboutitasbeingahome,becausehomeisanareawhereyougotofindshelterfromsomething.Butwhenyou’rethere,there’snoneedforshelter.Inthemeantime,though,you’vegottokeepthispresentmomentshelterassolidasyoucan.Becausethisiswheretheworkthatneedstobedonecangetdonewell.

66

Breathvs.DistractionJanuary28,2016

Justsittingherewithnothingtodoisveryordinary.It’ssoordinarythattheminddoesn’tstayhereveryeasily.Itseemsordinary,butifyoulearnhowtoaskquestionsaboutit,youfindthatthemorequestionsyouask,thestrangeritgets.You’vegotthisbody,andyou’vegotthemindthat’saware.Whataretheydoingheretogether?Howdotheyrelatetoeachother?AfamousZenmaster,Dogen,recommendedaskingquestionslikethis:Isthebodysittinginthemind,oristhemindsittinginthebody?Whichisthecontainerfortheotherone?Ordoestherehavetobeacontainer?Thereasonforaskingthesequestionsistostartprobingaroundintoyourassumptionsabouthowyourelatetoyourbody,howyourelatetoyourmind.

Andyoucanmoveyourawarenessfullyintothebodyitself,thisbreaththatwe’refocusingon.Whatisthebreath?Viewedfromtheoutside,peoplesaythatit’stheaircominginandoutthroughthenose,goingintothelungs,andthencomingbackoutagain,buthowdoesitfeeltoyouinside?—likethatoldPeanutscartoonwhereLinuscomesuptoLucyandsays,“Feelmyhands;they’recold,”andshesays,“Yes,theyarecold,buthowdoyouknowthey’recoldwhenyou’reinsidethem?”

Thewayyoulooktopeopleoutsideisonething,butthewayyouexperiencethebodyfromtheinside,themindfromtheinside,issomethingelse.Andit’sgoodtoexplorethisareainsidetoseehowit’snotquitewhatyouthoughtitmightbe.Thatgivesyousomethingtogetinterestedinasyousithere.

Likethebreathenergy:Wesaythatitflowsthroughthebody.Butdoesitflowthroughthesolidparts?Inotherwords,arethesolidpartstherefirst,sothatyouhavetopumpthebreathintothem?Ordoesyourawarenessofthesolidpartsactuallycometoyouthroughthebreath?Ifitweren’tforthebreath,youwouldn’tknowtheywerethere.Sothinkofthebreathenergyasbeingtherefirst.

Thinkinginthiswaycanbeveryuseful.Ifthere’sapaininonepartofthebody,youmayfindyourselfputtingupalittlewalloftensionrightaroundit,tocontainitthereasyoubreathein,andthebreathenergyseemstostopatthewall.Asyoudothat,thecirculationoftheblood,theenergiesinthebody,getblockedanddiscombobulated.Butifyourememberthatthebreathcomesfirst,youreasonthatitshouldn’tbethecasethatanythingelseinthebodyshouldblockthebreath.Thinkofthebreathasalreadythere,andyourawarenessofthebreathistherepriortoyourawarenessofanythingelse.

Solearnhowtoaskyourselfafewstrangequestionsaboutwhatit’sliketojustbe

67

sittinghere,breathing.That’soneofyourfirstdefensesagainstdistractingthoughts,becauseyou’reexperimenting,findingthingsout,askingquestionsthatyou’veneverthoughttoaskbefore.Evenifyouhavethoughtofaskingthembefore,youcanstillexplore.There’salottoexploreintherelationshipamongthebodyandthemindandthebreath.

Thatway,whenadistractingthoughtcomesup,itdoesn’thavethepullitusedtohave,becauseit’snotasinteresting,becauseyouhavesomethingfascinatingheretoexplore.Ifyou’resittingherewithnothingtodoandnothingtothinkaboutandnoquestionsaboutwhat’sgoingonrightnow,thenyoustartaskingquestionslike,“Well,whataboutlastweek?Andwhataboutnextweek?AndwhataboutwhatI’mgoingtodowhenIleavehere?”Andallofasuddenthosequestionsbecomealotmoreinterestingthanthebreath.Butifyoucantuneintothislevelofinterestwiththebreath,thenyoufindthatquestionsaboutlastweekandnextweekarereallynotsoabsorbingafterall.Hereitis,yourownrelationshiptoyourownbody,andit’ssomethingyouhaven’treallyexplored.Yourownrelationshiptoyourownmindandyourownbreath:Here’syourchancetogettoknowthesethings.

Thisway,ifadistractingthoughtcomes,it’seasytofollowthroughwiththeBuddha’sfirstinstructionsfordealingwithdistractingthoughts,whichistoreplacethemwithamoreskillfulthought—inthiscase,comingbacktothebreathbecausethere’sstillmoretoexplore.

Now,ifthosethoughtshaveapullthatkeepspullingyouback,that’sasignthatyou’reattractedtothemforsomereasonoranother,whichiswhyhissecondmethodofdealingwithdistractingthoughtsistotrytoseetheirdrawbacks.Andalotofthishastodowithkamma.AstheBuddhasaid,thethoughtsthatyourmindtendstogotobendthemindintheirdirection,andyoufindyourselfactingundertheirinfluence.

Alltoooften,themind’sexcuseis,“Well,nobodyknowswhatI’mthinking,anditdoesn’thaveanyimpactontheworldoutside,soIshouldbefreetothinkanythingIwant.”Andyouarefree,butisthatthebestuseofyourfreedom?Ifathoughtcomesupinthemind,askyourself,“IfIthoughtthisthoughtfor24hours,wherewoulditleadme?”Remindyourselfofhowmostofthedistractingthoughtsthatcomeupinthemind,theonesthathavealotofpull,arethingsyou’vethoughtmanytimesbefore.They’relikeoldmovies.YouknowwhatLaurenBacallisgoingtosay.YouknowwhatHumphreyBogartisgoingtosay.Sowhydoyoukeepwatchingthem?Ofcourse,inthecaseofalotofthesethoughts,theactorsarenotLaurenBacallorHumphreyBogart.They’rejustabunchofamateurs,andtheactingishorrible.Sowhat’sthepull?What’stheinterest?

Anditisimportantthatyouthinkabouttheconsequencesofyourthinking:“Whereisthisthoughtgoingtoleadyou?”I’vebeenreadingaseriesofanecdotesaboutAjaanChahrecently,thingsthathaven’tbeentranslatedintoEnglishyet,andthere’sonewhereamonkcomestohimandcomplainsthatashesitsandmeditates,thoughtsof

68

lusttakeoverhismind,andhedoesn’tknowwhattodo.SoAjaanChahsays,“That’seasy.Whenthenextwanphracomes”—that’sthedaywhenthelaypeoplecometothemonasteryfortheLunarSabbath—“whenthenextwanphracomes,we’llhaveyougetupinthesermonseatandhaveyoudescribetoallthelaypeopleoutthereallofyoursexualfantasiesfromthepastweek.”Themonksuddenlyfounditaloteasiertoputthosethoughtsaside.

Inotherwords,ifyourealizethatyourthoughtshaveconsequences,youhavetoaskyourself,“IsthiswhereIwanttogo?”Thenit’saloteasiertoapplytheteachingsoninconstancy,stress,andnot-selftothosethoughtstoseethatyoureallydon’twanttogothere.Youwanttostepout.Andthisiswhatthebreathisfor.Itgivesyouaplacetostepoutofthosethoughts.

Ourproblemisthatwhenathoughtcomes,wetendtojumprightintoit.ThisiswhattheBuddhacallsbecoming.Athoughtworldappearsinyourmind,andwegointoit100%.Sowehavetolearnhowtocounteractthattendency,becausesometimesyoujumpintoathoughtworldonlytofindthatit’sprettybad.Andifyou’reusedtojumpinginandwallowinginathoughtworld,thenit’shardertogetout,butifyoucanhaveasenseofthebreathasyoursafeplaceandthethoughtsbeinglessrealthanthebreath,thenit’seasiertopullout.It’slikebeinginabaddreamandrealizing,“Hey,thisisadream;Idon’tneedtokeepdreamingthis.”Alltheconcernsaboutbeingattheairport,andyoucan’tgettotheplane,andyourluggageisn’tthere,andalltheseotherthings:Yourealize,“Hey,waitaminute,thisisadream,”andthentheconcernsaboutluggageandwhatnot,they’regone.

Solearntoseeyourthoughtsasthatephemeralandtheissuesinthethoughtsasthatunreal,becauseyou’vegotbiggerissuestodealwith.You’vegotamindthat’soutofcontrol.You’vegottodosomethingaboutit,andhere’syourchancetostepout.

NoticehowtheBuddhaliststhesewaysofdealingwithdistractingthoughts.First,yousimplygiveyourselfsomethingbettertothinkabout.Thenyoulookatthedrawbacksofthethoughtsthatotherwisewouldpullyouaway.Whenyou’veseenthedrawbacks,evenifyouhavetroublenotgettinginterestedinthosethings,itmakesitaloteasiertodothenexttwosteps,oneofwhichistojustignorethethoughts.Inotherwords,they’rethere,butyoudon’thavetogoafterthem.Thethoughtsdon’tdestroythebreath.Thebreathisstillhere.Soeventhoughallkindsofdialoguesandshoutingmatchesaregoingoninyourheadrightnow,youdon’thavetogetinvolved.You’verealizedthatthesethingshavedrawbacks,sowhygetinvolvedwiththem?Eventhoughtheremaybeatendencyforthemindtokeepspinningoutinthatdirection,youdon’thavetogospinningwithit.Thebreathishere.

It’slikeacrazypersoncomingtotalktoyou.Ifyoutrytochasethecrazypersonawaybyarguingwithhim,thecrazyperson’sgotyou.Soyoupretendthatthecrazyperson’snotthere.Youhearhimandyouknowwhathe’ssaying—andhe’sgoingtosayallkindsofoutrageousthingstogettoyou—butyouhavetobefirminyourresolve:

69

You’renotgoingtogetinvolved.Afterawhile,he’llgoaway.Evenifhedoesn’t,you’vegotanothertrickupyoursleeve,whichistobreathe

throughthetensioninthebodythatcorrespondstothethought.Themoreyougetsensitivetowhatthebreathcandoandhowthebreathrelatestoyourthoughts,you’llbegintorealizethatforathoughttostayinthemind,therehastobeapatternoftensionsomeplaceinthebody.It’syourmarker.Soyoucangothroughallthedifferentpartsofthebodyandaskyourself,“Whenthisthoughtcomes,whattensesup?”Seewhathappensifyoucanlocatethattensionandreleaseit.Itmaynotnecessarilybewhereyouexpectittobe.It’snotalwaysinthehead.Sometimesit’sinanarm.Sometimesit’sinaknee.Itcanbealmostanyplace.

Ifthattechniquedoesn’twork,thenjustgrityourteethand,astheBuddhasaid,pressyourtongueagainsttheroofofyourmouthandresolve,“Iamnotgoingtothinkthatthought.”Andofcoursetheobjectofyourmeditationatthatpointisthethought,“Iamnotgoingtothinkthatotherthought,”whichmaynotbetheblissful,calmstateofdealingwiththebreaththatyouwant,butifit’snecessary,that’swhatyoudo.Ifyouthinkofthesedifferentmethodsastools,thisisyoursledgehammer.

Avariationofthisoneistohaveameditationwordthatyoujustrepeatveryquicklyinyourmind,buddhobuddhobuddho,rapid-fire,reallyfast.Thinkofallthecellsinyourbodygettinginvolvedinthebuddhobuddho.Keepthatupforawhileuntilthedesiretogoafterthatthoughtdissolvesaway.Thenyoucangobacktothebreath.

Whatthisallcomesdowntoisthatyoumakethebreathasinterestingaspossible.Learntodevelopaninterestinwhat’sgoingonrighthere,rightnow.You’vegotthisbody.You’vegotthismind.It’sreallystrange:Howcanthismind,thisawareness,berelatedtothislumpofflesh?What’stheconnection?Andwhichpartofthelumpoffleshareyouawareoffirst?Itturnsoutthatit’sthebreath.It’snotthelump;it’stheenergy.Keepthatperceptioninmind,andseehowithelpsyourelatetothebodyinanewway,andhowithelpsyourelatetoyourmindinanewwayaswell.Seethedrawbacksofthoughtsthatwouldpullyouintogreed,aversion,delusion,orsensualdesire,illwill,slothandtorpor,restlessnessandanxiety,uncertainty.Haveastrongsensethatthesethingscouldtakeoveryourlifeifyou’renotcareful,andtheothertechniquesfordealingwithdistractingthoughtswillcomeeasily.You’veshiftedthebalanceofpowerinsidesothatyou’llcomeoutontop.

70

CenteredJanuary24,2017

ThePaliwordsamadhiisusuallytranslatedasconcentration.Iknowatleastoneteacher,though,whoobjectstothattranslationonthegroundsthatweassociatetheideaofbeingconcentratedonsomethingwithbeingtense.Thespotwherewe’restayingconcentratedisaconcentratedspotoftension.Ashepointsout,that’snotthequalitywe’retryingtodevelopatall.

Thereareotherways,though,ofthinkingofconcentration:thatyou’renotfocusedonaspotoutsideofyourcenterofwhoyouthinkyouare.Thecenter’ssupposedtoberightinsidewhereyouthinkyouare—likealenswhosefocalpointiszero,insidethelensitself.It’sadifferentkindofconcentration.Justthinkofitasbeingcentered.AndthequalitythattheBuddharecommendsiseventuallyonewhereyourawarenessfillsthewholebody,andeverypartofthebodyhasalmostequalimportance.

It’sliketheconcentrationyouusewhenyou’replayingavideogame,andtheenemycouldappearatanypointonthescreen.Yourawarenesshastobespreadouttothewholescreen,givingequalimportancetoeverypixel,sothatassoonastheenemyappears—nomatterwhere—youcandetecthimandzaphimintime.

Anothercomparisonisthewaytrackersgothroughtheforest:They’relookingforsignsofanimalswho’vebeenthere.Andtheycan’tfocusonlyontheground.Theyhavetofocusalsoontheleavesofthetrees,thebranchesthatmightbebroken.Thesignsofanimalshavingpassedbycanbeanywhere,sothetrackersneedwhattheycall“scatter-shot”concentration.Inotherwords,yourconcentrationisspreadoutinalldirections,whileyourawarenessiscenteredinside,sothatnoonespotinyouroutsiderangeofvisionisgettingmoreattentionthanothers.Everythingisequal.You’rereadytopickupthesignswherevertheyare.

Onewayofdevelopingthiskindofconcentrationistothinkofyourawarenessstartingwithyourhandsandyourfeetandthenmovinginward.Relaxyourhands.Relaxthewrists.Goupthearms,theshoulders.Thenstartwithyourfeetandcomeupfromthebottom,throughthelegs,thepelvis,uptheback.Bringyourawarenessintotheareaaroundtheheartorintothearearightwhereyourfieldofvisionseemstobecentered.Seeifyoucanmaintainasenseofbeingcenteredthere,butatthesametimemaintainingthefullrangeofwhereyou’vebeen—allconnectedtogether.

That’sthekindofconcentrationtheBuddha’stalkingabout,whereyou’reonewiththeobject,whichinthiscaseisthewholebody.It’snotlikeyou’resittinginonespotofthebodywatchingthebreathinanotherspotofthebody.You’resittinginthemiddleof

71

thebreath,andthebreathisbathingyouonallsides.Andthinkofit,asitcomesin,asbeingtotallyunobstructed:Itcancomein,goout,withasenseofease.You’recentered,butthere’sasenseofease.You’renotusingtensiontoholdyourselfthere.There’salittlebitoftension,butnotmuch.

Because,afterall,we’retryingtocreateastateofmindthatwecanmaintainforlongperiodsoftime.Ifthere’salotoftensioninmaintainingit,it’snotgoingtolast.Yourstrengthwillwearout;you’llstartgettingtiredofit.Andinsteadofbeingnourishingandrefreshing,theconcentrationwillbecometiresome.Butifyoucanthinkofallthescatteredtentaclesofyourawarenesscomingbackintothecenterandleavingeverythingontheperipheryveryrelaxed,itcreatesakindofstabilitythat’seasytomaintain.Itmaynotbeeasytogetusedtothisinthebeginning,especiallyifyou’rethekindofpersonwholikestobefocusedjustononepoint.Butthistypeofconcentrationislonger-lasting,onceyoumasterit.

Soit’satalentworthdeveloping.Itchangesyourrelationshiptohowyourelatetothebody,howyourelatetoeventsinthemind,becausethisbroaderconcentrationisveryhardtoknockover.Ifyourconcentrationisone-pointed,it’sveryeasytolose,becauseonceyoumovethepoint,theconcentration’sslipped.Butwiththis,you’vegotalargerframeofreference.Thingscancomeandgointhemidstofthatframeofreference,andyoucanseethem,buttheydon’tshaketheframe.Theframeisstillthere.

LikethatimageIsometimesuseofbeingascreenonawindow:Soundsgothroughthescreen.Windgoesthroughthescreen.Butthescreendoesn’tgetmoved,anditdoesn’tobstructthesoundsandthewindfrommovingthrough.It’sopen:opentothingsoutsidebutatthesametimeunaffectedbythem.Thesameobservationcanapplytoyourthoughts:Thoughtscancomefloatingthroughthemind,butyoudon’tlatchontothem.Youdon’tgetinterestedinthem.You’recenteredrighthere.Youknowthey’rethere,butyoudon’treallypayattentiontothem.Yourcenterstaysmaintainedrighthere.Allyourawarenessgravitatestothecenter.

That’sthequalityofconcentrationwe’relookingfor.Becauseonlyinthatkindofconcentrationcanyouspreadthesenseofease,well-being,and

rapturethroughthebody.You’veopenedupallthechannelsasyou’vemovedintothecenter.Thatgivesafeelingofbeingconnectedtothebreathenergyfields,thateverythingisinharmonythroughoutthebody.

Thisisanidealstateofmindforobservingwhat’sgoingoninthemind.Thoughtscanariseandpassaway,youseethemarisingandpassingaway,butyou’renotshakenbythem.Andyou’renotarisingandpassingawayalongwiththem.Theyhavetheirupsanddowns,butyoustaystill,hereinthemiddle.Andsotheprocessesofthoughts,astheyariseandpassaway,becomealotclearer.Youcanseethemachinationsofthemindasitcreatesathought.Andasinthevideogame,youcanzapthethoughtswheneverandwherevertheyappear.

72

Becauseit’snotthatthoughtsdon’thaveaplaceinthebody.Forathoughttostayandtobethekindofthoughtthatyoucanholdinmindforawhile,therehastobeapatternoftensionsomeplaceinthebodyassociatedwithit.That’sthemarkerthatkeepsitthere.Withoutthatmarker,thoughtscan’tstay.Toholdtheminmind,youhavetoholdtheminthebody,too.It’sbecauseofthoselittlemarkersoftensionthatanyworkinvolvingalotofthinkingandplanningisreallytiresome.Youcansitatyourdeskandnotreallydoanyphysicalactivity,butyoucomeawayverytired,becauseofallthetensionthat’sbeenplayingaroundinthebody.

Butwhenyougetthemindcenteredlikethis,youcanseethelittlepatternoftensionasitcomestogetherwiththethought,andyoucanzapthepatternoftension,andthethoughtwilldissolve.Themorequicklyyoucandothat,themoreyouseetheearlystagesofhowthemindconstructsathought—andyou’relesslikelytobetakeninbythoseprocesses.Youcanstopthemwhenyouseethatthey’rearbitraryandarenotgoinganywhereuseful.Ifitturnsoutthatthethoughtissomethingyouneedtothinkabout,okay,youcanthinkaboutit,butyoucanexertmorecontroloverwhereit’sgoing,becauseyou’restayingwiththislargerframeworkoftheentirebody.You’renotgettingintotheframeworkofthethought.

Andifyoulosethecenter,well,gobacktotheperipheryagain.Startwiththehands,startwiththefeet,andmovebackintothecenteragain.Orthinkofyourselfbackingintothebody,ifthat’sahelpfulperception—anythingtogivethesensethatyou’reheresittingsurroundedbythebreath,bythebody.Andyourcenterisfirm.Notfirmthroughtension,firmsimplythroughthefactthatit’srightinthemiddle,whereeverythinggravitatesonitsown.That’sthekindofcenteryoucanmaintainforlongperiodsoftime.

73

TappingintotheBreathJuly17,2017

Timeandagain,Isay—whenyou’refocusingonthebreath—torememberthatthebreathisnotsomuchtheaircominginandoutofthelungs,asitisaflowofenergyinthebody.Oneofthoseflowsistheflowthatallowstheairtocomeinandout.Thequestionis,“Wheredoesthatflowcomefrom?”Itdoesn’tcomeinwiththein-breath.Itactuallycomesfromwithinthebodyitself.Soifyou’rehavingtroublebreathingcomfortably,youmightaskyourself,“Wheredoesthebreathactuallystartinthebody?”AjaanLeelistswhathecallstherestingspotsofthebreath,suchasthetipofthesternumoraspotjustabovethenavel.Andyoucantryanyoneofthose.Infact,you’llfindthatthere’snoonespotwherethebreathstarts—itstartsfrommany—butyoucanfocusononeandmakethemostofit.Say,forinstance,thatyou’regoingtofocusatthetipofthebreastbone.Youhavetorelaxaroundthatspotinordertoallowthebreathtospreadfromthereinawaythatactuallyfeelsgoodforthebody.Becausewhenwehavedifferentpatternsoftensioninthebody,wetendtobreathewiththosepatternsoftensionandwejustmakethingsworse.

Youhavetoremindyourselfthatthereisahealthybreathinthere.Andyou’regoingtoallowittomovethroughthebodybyrelaxingarounditandnoticingwhatfeelsgoodatthatspotinthebody.Ifyoufeellikeyou’rebreathingintoomuchorbreathingouttoomuch,beverysensitiveandveryontopofthis.Andyou’llfindthatthebreathreallydoesbecomesoothing.Thisisespeciallyusefulwhenyouhaveadiseaseofonekindoranother.Youcanusethesoothingbreathtoworkthroughalotofthetensionthatmaybuilduparoundthepainortheorganthat’smalfunctioning.

Inthecaseswherethere’sunpleasantenergyinsomespotofthebody,youmaywanttomovetoanotherspotfirst.Focusyourattentionthere.Andthen,whenyoufeelmoreconfident,youcangotothespotthat’sactuallymalfunctioningandaskyourself,“Whereisthehealthybreathinhere?”Noticetheattitudenotsomuchthatyou’regoingtomakeithealthy.You’rejustgoingtoallowit.It’sinthiswaythatyoulearnhowtouseyourperceptions—andhowtochangeyourperceptionssothattheyactuallyareconducivetosettlingdown.

Asyouworkwiththebreathinthisway,you’llfindthattherearelotsofdifferentlevels.It’slikethewatertableatWatAsokaram.Theydugtheirwellsinaveryunlikelyspot.Heretheywereattheedgeoftheocean:amangroveswamp,partofthetidalflats.Andtheywoulddigawelltousethewaterthere.Itdidn’tseempromising,buttheyfoundthatthereweredifferentlevels.Youwoulddigdowntoacertainlevelandthewaterwouldbebrackish.You’ddigdowntoanotherlevelanditwouldbefresh.And

74

thenanotherlevel,andthenitwouldbebrackishagain.Itwaslikealayercake,andthetricktodiggingthewellwasgettingitjusttherightdepthtotapintoalayerthatwasgood.Inthesameway,yourbodyhaslotsoflayers,lotsofdifferentenergiesmovingaround.Trytodigyourwelldowntoaspotwheretheenergyisgood.Andthengiveitspacetomaximizeit.

InThaitheyhaveaphrase,“notbeingabletobreathewithyourfullstomach,”whichmeansthatthere’stensionortightnessintheabdomenandyoudon’tfeellikeyou’regettingyourfullrefreshmentfromthebreath.Again,it’snotsomuchtheairgoingdownintotheabdomen.It’sthequestionofwhethertheenergy’sallowedtomoveorpropagatefreelythroughtheareaoftheabdomensothateverypartfeelsnourishedbythatmovementofenergy.Now,yourproblemmaynotbeintheabdomen,butyouknowwhereyourdifficultspotsareinthebody.Soyoucanplaywiththem.Remindyourselfthattheremaybealayerintherethat’sactuallyhealthy.Trytofindit.

It’sthesameaswhenyou’vegotproblemswithrapture.Whenrapturecomeson,somepeoplelikeit,somepeopledon’t.Ifyou’reoneoftheoneswhodon’t,learnhowtochangeyourperceptionsoyoudon’tfeelthreatenedbyit.Somepeoplefeelthreatenedbyitbecausethey’vehadexperienceswithalmostdrowning,andit’sasimilarsensation:afeelingofintensefullnessthroughoutthebody.Youhavetoremindyourselfthatyou’resurroundedbyair.There’snoproblem.Buteventhen,asyoumovetherapturethroughthebody,it’sgooduptoapoint.Therecomesapointwhereyouhavetogobeyondit.Hereagain,thinkoflayers.Findthelayerofenergythat’snotquitesoactive,that’scalmer,withasenseofease,andfocusthere.Themovementsofrapturecanbeinanotherlayerforawhile.Asyou’renotfocusingonthem,afterawhiletheybegintodissipate.

Sothinkofthebodyashavingmanylayers.Andyou’regoingtotrytotuneintothelayerthat’srightforwhatyouneedrightnow.Somelayersaremoreenergizing.Somearemorecalming.Butit’suptoyoutomakeyoursurveyandtofigureouthowtorelatetotheseenergies.HereinEnglish,wedon’thaveareallygoodvocabularyfortheseenergies.AndeveninThai—wheretheytalkaboutthemandpeopletendtohaveamoreintuitivesenseofwhatwe’retalkingaboutwhenwesaybreathenergy—thevocabularyisnotthatlarge.

AjaanLeetalksaboutbreathenergiesthatspinaroundinplace,breathenergiesthatmovebackandforth,thevisitingbreath,hecallsit,whichisthein-and-outbreath.Andthenthere’sthestillbreath,abreaththatdoesn’tmoveatall.That’sinalayerthere,too.Hesaysthemiddlinglayersaretheoneswherewe’reworkingwiththeenergiesinthebloodvesselsandnerves,aswespreadthemthroughthedifferentpartsofthebody.Andtheystaythereinthebody.Theydon’tgoinandout.Theyhelpthein-and-outbreath,buttheythemselvesdon’tgoinandout.Thosearetheonesthatyouwanttoworkwith,becausethey’reagoodtestingground,bothforgettingasenseofwell-beingthatreallygoesdeep,deep,deepinside,andforteachingyouthepowerofperception,

75

thatthelabelsyouapplytothebodyreallydohaveaninfluenceonhowyou’regoingtobeexperiencingthebody;howyou’regoingtobeabletosettledowninthebody.

Thestillbreath—ifyoucangetyourwelldowntothestillbreathandtapintoit—isaplacetorest.Sousethatwhenyouneedtorest.Butremindyourselfthatthemeditationisnotallaboutresting.It’saboutlearningwhat’sgoingonbetweenbodyandmind,becausethisisagoodtestinggroundforalltheissuesinthemind.Thebodyisthefirstthingyou’reawareof.Thebodyisthefirstthingyou’removingaround,theareaofrealityyou’remostresponsiblefor.Andyetit’snot-self.Thatdoesn’tmeanyouhavenocontroloverit.Itjustmeansthattherearelimitstowhatyoucancontrol.Soyouwanttoexplorethelimitsandmakethemostofwhat’sinsidethem.

Yearsback,IknewsomeonewhowasgoingtostudyinThailandandshe’dbeenpracticingAjaanLee’smethod.Shewasstayingwithanajaanwhodidn’thaveanybackgroundinAjaanLee’smethod,andhetoldher,“Whyareyouadjustingthebreath?It’sjustafabrication.”Shetoldmethat,andmyresponse,althoughIdidn’tsayittohim,was,“Well,whyareyouwashingyourbody?Whydoyoucleanyourbody?It’sjustafabrication.”Youhavetotakecareofthesethingsbecausethey’llthentakecareofyou.Andintakingcareofthemskillfully,youlearnanawfullotaboutthebodyandthemind:allthefiveaggregates.Andifyouwanttoknowwhat’snot-self,what’sbeyondyourcontrol,youtrytoexertasmuchcontrolasyoucaninthisarea.You’llfindtherewillbelimits.It’swhenyouwanttorunintothelimitsthatyousay,“Oh,thisisreallynot-self.”

Butyoudon’tgiveupbeforehand.Ifyougiveupbeforehand,you’relettinggo,asAjaanLeesays,likeapauper,someonewhodoesn’thaveanythingtoshowforlettinggoatall,becausetherewasnothingtheretobeginwith.Butifyoumakethemostofthesepotentialsyouhaveinthebody,thepotentialsyouhaveinthemind,thenwhenyouletthemgo,they’restillthere.They’reofusetoyou,andthey’reofusetootherpeople.It’slikeworkinghardandgettingagoodcar.Youdon’ttakeittobedwithyou.Youleaveitoutside.Youuseitwhenyouneedto.Andyouletotherpeopleuseit,too.Inotherwords,youletgoofsomething,butthere’sstillalotofusetobegottenoutofit,asopposedtonothavingthecartobeginwith.

Soexplorethepotentialsyouhavehereinthebodyfordealingwithenergy.Andonceyou’vefoundtheareaswherethebreathrestsandthebreathcomesfrom,protectthose.Don’tletthemgetexhausted.Don’tletthemgetdepleted.Haveasenseoftheirbeingfull,evenduringtheout-breath.Thentheycanfilltherestofthebodywithgoodenergythatallowsyoutosettledownwithasenseof“justright”:well-balanced,withthepleasureandrapturetheBuddhadescribesaspermeatingtheentirebody,becauseyou’vetappedintotherightlevel.

76

WhatIsOneJuly13,2017

IntheCanon,there’sabriefcatechismcalledtheNovice’sQuestions.It’salistofbasicBuddhistconcepts,linedupfromonetoten.Thequestionsare:Whatisone?,Whatistwo?,allthewayuptoWhatisten?Andthemostinterestingoneofthelotis:Whatisone?Andtheansweris:Allbeingssubsistonfood.

Aslongasyou’reabeing,you’regoingtoneedfood.Ofcourse,whentheBuddhaistalkingaboutfoodhere,it’snotjustphysicalfood.There’salsothefoodforconsciousness,whichinsomecaseshedividesupasphysicalfood,contact,intentions,andconsciousnessitself.Inotherplaces,heidentifiesthefoodforconsciousnesswiththeotheraggregates:form,feeling,perception,andfabrications.

It’sonlyarahantswhodon’tneedtofeedonthesekindsoffood.Theyfeedphysically,buttheirmindsnolongerneedtofeed,becausetheydon’tidentifythemselvesasbeings.Tobeabeing,youhavetobeclingingtosomething,attachedtosomething.Butarahantshavenoattachments,noclinging,sothey’renotevendefinedasbeings.Whentheypassaway,youcan’tevendefinethemasexisting,non-existing,both,orneither.

Butasforus,we’restillfeedingbecausewe’restillbeings.We’rebeingsonthewaytoawakening.TheBuddhahimself,beforehisawakening,wascalledaBodhisatta—abeingonthewaytoawakening.Sowhilewe’reonthepath,weneedfood.Andconcentrationistheprimefoodweuse.Otherwise,ifwedon’thavethisfood,we’regoingtogooffnibblingonallkindsofotherthings.Allthedifferentmembersinthecommitteeofyourmindhavetheirideasaboutwhatwouldbegooddinnertonight,whatthefoodshouldbe,howitshouldbefixed.Andalotofthediscussioninyourmindisabouthowyou’regoingtofeed.

Sowhenyoulearnhowtomeditateandgetthemindintoastateofwell-being—findinganobjectyoulike,learninghowtomaximizethesenseofpleasurethroughyourdirectedthoughtandevaluation—you’readdinganewitemtothemenu.Andyouwanttolearnhowtodevelopatasteforthis.Thatmeans,forinstance,whenyou’reworkingwiththebreath,tryingtobreatheinawaythatfeelsreally,reallysatisfying.It’snotjustin,out,in,out.Askyourself,“Wherearethemostsensitivepartsinthebodyrightnow?Canyoubreathefortheirsake?Andwhatkindofbreathingwouldfeelgoodforthem?”Youmayhaveapersonalpreferenceforlongerbreathing,butthatparticularpartinyourbodymightlikeshorterbreathing.Sopayattentiontowhatitneeds.Andthen,whenyou’vesatisfiedthatpartofthebody,lookforotherpartsofthebodythatareespeciallysensitive,andseeifyoucansatisfythem,too.

77

Themoreyoucanhityoursensitivitieslikethis,themoresatisfyingthefoodofconcentrationwillbe.Thenyoucanuseittodealwithotherissuesastheycomeup—theotherproposalsforwhatyouwanttofeedonrightnow.Iftherearesensualdesirescomingupinthemind,oneofthefirstwaysofdealingwiththemistonotice,whenthedesirecomes:Wheredoyoufeelthetensioninthebody?Oftenthere’satensioninthebackofthehands.Well,breatheinawaythatfeelsreallygoodinthebackofthehands—anyplacewherethere’stensiondeveloping.Thatway,aspartofyournegotiationswiththemembersofthecommittee,yousay,“See,here’sabetterfood.It’srighthere;notroubleatall.”Whereasthefoodofsensualdesirecancausealotoftrouble.

It’sthesamewithanger.Ifyou’requicktogetangryaboutthings,youhavetobequickinlearninghowtofeedthemindandfeedthebodywiththesenseofwell-beingthatcomesfromconcentration.Otherwise,youstartfeedingontheangeranditendsupharmingyou,harmingotherpeople.It’slikethekindoffoodthatmaybegoodasyoueatit,butit’sgoingtocausetroublefurtherdowninyourdigestivetract.

Sleepiness,torpor:That’sanotherkindoffood—onethatwereallygofor.Insomecases,thebodyreallydoesneedtorest.Butinalotofcases,it’sjustcreatingonemoreissueunnecessarily.Somethinginterestingmaybecomingupinthemind—something,however,thatonememberofthecommitteedoesn’twanttoberevealed,andsoitmakesyousleepy.Orjustplainoldlazinesscomesinandyoulatchontoanysigninthebody,anysigninthemind,thatyou’regettingsleepy,andmakethatanexcusetostop.Incaseslikethat,thebestkindoffoodforyouisgood,heavybreathing,deepbreathing—whateverbreathingyoufindenergizing.

It’stheoppositewithrestlessnessandanxiety.Themindhasnoplacewhereitcansettledowninthepresentmoment,soitgoeshuntingoutsideforanything,whatever.Whenit’sanxiousaboutthings,itcansay,“Look,Ihavetoworryaboutthis.IfIdon’tworryaboutthis,Iwon’tbeprepared,Iwon’tbeprotected.”Thisiswherethefoodofconcentrationonitsownisoftennotenough.Youhavetosupplementitwiththefoodofdiscernment,whichtellsyouthatwhateverisgoingtohappeninthefuture,youdon’treallyknowthedetailsofthedangeraheadofyou.Butyoudoknowthatwhateverthedangers,expectedorunexpected,you’regoingtoneedalotofdiscernment,you’regoingtoneedalotofalertness,you’regoingtoneedalotofconcentration,patience,endurance—allthesegoodqualities—toseeyouthrough.Andthisishowyoudevelopthem,bymeditating.Notbysittinghereworrying.

Andfinallythere’suncertainty.Themindcangorgeitselfonthat.Onereasonmightbethepartofthemindthatdoesn’twanttopractice,doesn’twanttogiveupitsdesires,itscravings.Anotherreasonmightbealackofconfidenceinyourself.

Inthefirstcase,you’vegottopryaroundandsee,“WhywouldInotwanttofindtruehappiness?”Afterall,thisisacommondesireamongallyourcommitteemembers:howtobehappy,whatwouldmakeyouhappy.Andtheyholdontotheirideasofwhatwouldmakeyouhappy.Soyou’vegottopointouttothemthedrawbacksofthose

78

ideas.Desireforwealth,desireforpower:Thesethingscanbringalotofsufferingandharmintheirwake.AndheretheBuddhaisofferingyouatotallyharmlesskindoffood,atotallyharmlesskindofpleasure.Doyoureallyloveyourself?Ifyoudo,you’dgofortheharmless.You’davoidanykindofharm.

Asforlackofconfidenceinyourself,askyourself,“CanIbewiththisbreath?”Well,yes.“Howaboutthisbreath?”Yes.Inthebeginning,contentyourselfwithsmallvictories.AstheBuddhasaid,evenjustafinger-snapofthedesiretobeskillfulis,inandofitself,meritorious.Sometimeswe’reevenafraidtowantthepath,becausewe’reafraidthatwe’dbecommittedtomorethanwecanhandle,andthepartofthemindthat’snotreadytobecommittedkeepspullingyouback.Butyoucankeepremindingyourself,“I’mnottotallycommittedyet.Ijustwanttothinkthisthought:thatitwouldbereallygoodtofindapaththatputsanendtosuffering,tofindapaththatIamcapableoffollowing,andhavesomeconfidenceinmyself.”Learntofeedoffthesesmallvictories,sothattheygetlarger.

Andturnyourattentionbacktothebreath,sothatyouhavesomethingevenbettertofeedon.Keeplookingforthosesensitivespotsinside.Trytonourishthemwiththebreath,sothatyouassociatethepracticeofconcentrationwithasenseofreal,visceralwell-being.Thatway,themindwillbemoreandmoreinclinedtowanttogointhisdirection.

It’saswhenyou’retryingtochangeyourdietforthebody.Sometimesyoutrytochangefromallthegreasy,badfoodthatyou’vebeenenjoyingtosomethinghealthy,andpartofthemindresists.Itlikesthegrease;itlikesthesugar;itlikesthesalt.Butifyoulearnhowtofixyourhealthfoodreallywell,thenyoubegintorealize,“Iactuallyfeelbetterthisway,andittastesgood.”Soyou’vegottolearnhowtobeagoodcookofyourbreath.

Showsomeimaginationinhowyoudealwiththebreath—likethatimageintheCanonofthewisecookwhonoticeswhathismasterlikes:whetherit’ssaltyorsweetoralkaline,bland,spicy.Trytofigureoutwhatyourmindandbodywouldliketoenjoyrightnow,wouldliketofeedoffofrightnow.Andseewhatyoucandowiththebreathtoprovidethat.

Asimilarprincipleapplieswiththeothermeditationtopics.Ifyou’redoingbuddho,thinkofthewholebodyasbeingenergizedbythewordbuddho.AsIwassayingtoday,thinkofeverycellinyourbodygoingbud-dho,bud-dhotogether,sothatit’snotjustamechanicalexercise.It’smuchmoreorganic—you’refeedingthemind;you’refeedingthebody.Thatway,you’vegotsomethinggoodtoofferwhenpartsofthemindwanttogooffandhaveamidnightsnack,gobbledownsomejunkfood.Yousay,“Look,Ihavesomethingbetter,righthere,rightnow.Andit’snotgoingtocausetroubletomorrowmorning.I’mnotgoingtohaveanydiarrheafromthis,anydigestiveillness.”Thisisfoodthat’sgoodalltheway:goodfromyourmouthallthewaythroughyoursystem.

79

Thatway,youhaveanotheranswertothatquestionofwhatisone.Youhaveamindthat’sone,withoneobject.Andit’shappytobethere.Becauseitfindsthatthisisthebestfoodthereis.

80

RemorseAugust30,2016

Whenyousitdowntomeditateandsettledownwiththebreath,themindbecomesverysensitive.Sometimesthingsyoudidinthepastthatyoudon’tfeelrightaboutwillcomeup.Andtheyhurt.

Attimeslikethat,it’salltooeasytostartfeelingremorse.RemorseisnotanattitudeorafeelingthattheBuddharecommended.Ashenoticed,itweakensyou.

Weusuallyfeelremorseforoneoftworeasons:Oneisthechildishbeliefthatifyoufeelbadenoughabouthavingdonesomething,thenthepunishmentwillbemitigated.Andtheother,ofcourse,isthefeelingthatifyoudon’tfeelbadlyaboutsomething,you’llprobablyrepeatthemistakeagain.

Inthefirstcase,feelingbadaboutitisnotgoingtomakeanydifference.Noticingthatitwasamistakeandresolvingnottorepeatit:That’sthebestthatcanbeexpectedofahumanbeing.

Asforthefearthatwe’vegotsomesufferingawaitingusinthefutureasakindofpunishment:TheBuddharecommendsthat,ifyouwantnottosufferfromtheresultsofpastbadactionsorpastunskillfulactions,youdevelopthebrahmaviharas—andparticularlyequanimity,alongwiththeabilitynottobeovercomebypainandnottobeovercomebypleasure.Pleasureandpaingotogether:Ifyougetovercomebypleasureandtrytoholdontothepleasure,itcanturnintopain.Andit’salreadygotyouoverwhelmed.

It’slikecatchingafish.Youdiscoverthatyouhaveahugefishonyourlinethatcaneitherdivewaydownintotheoceanorjumpoutofthewater.Youseeitleapupandyousay,“Ah,thisispleasure,”andyouholdontotheline.Butthenitdivesdowntotheoceanandpullsyoudownwithit.

Soifthemindisovercomeeitherbypleasureorpain,there’sgoingtobesuffering.Butasforthequestionofwhetheryou“deserve”tosufferornot,it’sinteresting:The

Buddhanevertalksaboutpeopledeservingtosuffer.Hesimplysaysthatcertainactionsleadtocertainresults.Buthe’sheretocureourproblemofsufferingwhetherit’s“deserved”ornot.Heneversaid,“I’llteachyoutheendofsufferingonlyifyoudon’tdeservetosuffer.”Theendofsufferingisthereforeveryone,whetherthey“deserve”tosufferornot.Thatpointshouldbeunderlinedmany,manytimes.

Theteachingonkammaisnotmeanttoexplainthehorriblethingsthathappentopeopleortojustifymetingoutmiserytothem.It’ssupposedtobeusedtoexplainhowyoucanfindawayout—sothatwhateveryoudidinthepast,there’sawayoutforyou.

81

ThinkofAngulimala.Hehadkilledscoresofpeopleandyethewasabletobecomeanarahant.

Sothequestionoffearoverdeservedsuffering:TheBuddha’snotheretotellyouthatyoudeservetosuffer.He’sheretosay,“Thisisthewayyouactskillfullysothatyoudon’thavetosuffer.”Andifyou’vedoneunskillfulthingsinthepast,notethefact,notethatitwasamistake,resolvenottorepeatit,andthendevelopthebrahmaviharas.

Goodwillforyourself,goodwillforeveryone.Compassionforyourself,compassionforeveryone.Empatheticjoyforyourself,empatheticjoyforeveryone.Equanimityforyourself,equanimityforeveryone.Yethealsosaysyouhavetodevelopdiscernment.Afterall,sometimesyoucando

veryunskillfulthingsbasedonwhatyouthinkisthecompassionatethingtodo,butyoucan’tsimplytrustyourlovinghearttotellyouwhattodoinagivensituation,thinkingthatwherethere’salotoflove,that’lltakecareofit.Wecandosomeawfullyunskillfulthingsbasedonlove.

Sowhatisthepropermotivationtomakesureyoudon’trepeatamistake?TheBuddhaliststwoqualities:Oneisheedfulnessandtheotherissamvega.

Heedfulnessissimplyrealizingthatwhateveryoudowillcomebackinonewayoranother,andsoyouwanttobevery,verycarefulaboutwhatyoudo.

Samvegaistheattitudethatlooksatlifeasawholeandseeshowscaryitis.That’soneofthemeaningsofthewordsamvega.Theothermeaningisdismay.Youthinkofhowwearebornagainandagainandagain.Weallwanthappinessbutwecandosomereallyunskillfulthingsbasedonourdesireforhappiness.Wefindpeoplewhomweloveandwecandounskillfulthingsbasedonourlove.

Inotherwords,aslongaswe’relivingunderthepowerofdelusion,thennomatterhowgoodthingsget,there’salwaysadownside.There’salwaysthepossibilitythateverythingwillfallapart.NomatterhowmuchweunderstandabouttheDhamma,therearetimeswhenweforget.

Thinkinginthiswaygivesyouthemotivationtowanttogetoutofthecycle.Andthepathofmeditationisthemostskillfulwayout.Somepeoplesaythatit’sselfishthatyou’rejustpullingyourselfout.Butthinkaboutwhatsamsarameans.Samsara’snotaplace.It’sanactivity,somethingwedo:Wekeepwanderingon.Wegetthisbodyandwewanderthroughlifewiththisbody.Whenwecan’tusethisbodyanymore,themindgoeswanderingofftofindsomethingelse.

Andit’sdrivenbycravingandclinging.Andyouknowwhatthemindislikewhenit’sdrivenbycravingandclinging.Especiallywhenit’sbeingpushedoutofsomethingwhereit’susedtobeing.It’sgoingtolookforsomethingnewandjustgrabontoanything.It’slikebeingpushedoutofyourhouse.You’lltakethefirsthousethat

82

appearsonthemarket.Sothisisanactivity.Andweactuallycreateourworldsofbecomingthroughthe

activityofwandering-on,throughcraving.We’recreatingourindividualworldstofeedon.Soit’slikeanaddiction.Andthebestthingtodowithanaddictionistolearnhowtoendit.You’llbenefit,thepeoplearoundyouwillbenefit,too.

Becauseaswefeedonourworlds,we’reoftenfeedingonthesamefoodsourcesthatotherpeoplearebecauseourworldsoverlap,whichmeansthere’scompetition.Sosimplypullingyourselfoutofthecyclereallyhelpstoatleasttakeonemouthoutofthefeedingcycle.

Andyou’resettingagoodexample.Becausethethingswedoinordertogetoutarenotjustamatterofrunningaway.Wehavetobegenerous.Wehavetobevirtuous.Wetrytodevelopgoodqualities.

Oneofthemotivationsfordoingthisiscompassion.AstheBuddhasaid,thepeoplewhohelpuswithourpractice:Ifwereallydogetout,thentheybenefitgreatly.

Soit’simportanttorealizethatnomatterhowgoodthingsget,nomatterhowmuchyou’velearnedaboutthings,ifyouhaven’treachedanyofthenobleattainmentsthere’salwaysapossibilityofbacksliding.That’swhat’sscary;that’swhat’sterrifyingaboutallthis.Thismeansthattheproperresponsewhenyou’verealizedthatyou’vemadeamistake,you’veharmedsomebody,isnotremorse.It’sheedfulnesstogetherwithsamvega.

Andit’sinterestingthat,intheBuddha’sanalysisforbothofourreasonsforwantingtogoforremorse,hisantidotesforremorseinbothcasesarethebrahmaviharas:attitudesoflimitlessgoodwill,compassion,empatheticjoy,andequanimity.

Buthealsorequiresdiscernmentbecause,asIsaid,compassioncansometimesbedeluded.That’swherecompassiongetsscary.Thisiswhydiscernmentissoimportant.Whatdoesitcomedownto?Anunderstandingoftheprinciplesofwhat’sskillfulandwhat’snot.

TheBuddhagivessomebasicexamplesintheprecepts.Butthentherearethesubtlerthings,andthoserequirealotofdiscernment,alotofmindfulness,alotofalertnesstoseehowthemindcanlietoitselfaboutwhat’sskillfulandwhat’snot,andtolearnhowtoseethroughthoselies.

Thisiswhywemeditate:tostrengthenourpowersofmindfulness,tostrengthenourpowersofalertness,sothatwecanseewhatwe’redoingandwhat’sactuallycomingaboutastheresultofouractions.Andthenrememberingthat.

Again,youdon’thavetouseremorseinordertopounditintothemindthatsomethingwasamistake.Heedfulnessandsamvegaareenough.

SobasicallywhattheBuddhaisdoingishavingusreacttoourmistakesasadults.Oneofthethingsyou’velearnedasanadultisthatmistakesareveryeasytomake,but

83

youcanlearnfromthem.Andthat’stheimportantthing:learningfromthem—whilebeingmatureenoughtoknowhownottorepeatthemistakewithouthavingtobeatyourselfupoveryourpastmistakes.

Atthesametime,youprepareyourself:Youknowthatyou’vegotsomepastmistakes.There’sgoingtobesomepaincominginthefuture.Thisshouldn’tbenews.Soyoudevelopthequalitiesofmindthatcanguaranteethatpainandpleasurewon’tovercomethemind.Inotherwords,youdevelopconcentration;youdevelopdiscernment.Havingconcentrationasanalternativetosensualpainandpleasureputsyouinasafeplace,sothatwhenpainscome,youhaveanalternativeplacetogo.Thatway,thepainsdon’thavetodriveyouaround.

Andasyou’velearnedingettingthemindtosettledown:If,whenyou’reworkingwiththebreath,there’sasenseofease,thenifyouleavethebreathforthesenseofease,everythingfallsapart,blursout.Yougetintowhat’scalleddelusionconcentration,wherethingsareveryniceandverystill,butyoudon’treallyknowwhereyouare.Whenyoucomeout,you’renotreallysurewhetheryouwereasleeporawake.That’snotthepath.

Soyouhavetolearnthateventhoughthere’spleasurecomingupasyou’reworkingwiththebreath,youcanstillstaywiththebreath,youdon’tgetwaylaidbythepleasure.Inthisway,gettingthemindproperlyintoconcentrationhelpsyouovercomeyourattachmenttosensualpleasuresandalsohelpsyounottobeoverwhelmedbythesenseofpleasurethatcomesfromgettingthemindtosettledownandbestill.

Nowthis,ofcourse,includesdiscernment,becausethatultimatelyiswhat’sgoingtofreeyoufrompleasureandpain.Andnotice,theBuddha’sdiscernmentworkswhetherthepleasuresorpainsaredeservedornot.Yourealizethatyou’vehadenoughofthatback-and-forth.Youwanttogotosomethingbetter.

Andsoyoucanpullthemindoutofbothpleasureandpain.Youseethemind,orawareness,assomethingseparatefrompleasureandpain.Thisisoneoftheskillsyoudevelopasyoumeditate.Andthisisareallyimportantskill.Becauseasthatchantsaidjustnow,“We’reallsubjecttoaging,illness,anddeath.”Wehavethesethingslyinginwaitandwewanttobereadyforthem.

Assomeoneoncesaid,themostamazingthingabouthumanbeingsisthatweallknowwe’regoingtodiebutweallactasifwedidn’t.

Well,youknow.Actasifyoutakeittoheart.Youcanprepare.Youcangetthemindreadyfortimeswhenthere’llbeaging,illness,anddeath.Andyetyoudon’thavetosufferfromthembecauseyou’velearnedhowtoseparatetheconcernforpleasureandpain,andthepleasureandpainsthemselves,fromyourawareness.Youlettheseaspectsofthepresentseparatethemselvesintothreeseparatethings.Thatway,thepleasuresandpains,andyourconcernsaboutpleasuresandpains,don’thavetoweightheminddown.They’rethere,butthey’renothavinganimpactonthemind.That’s

84

whenyou’rereallysafe.Yougettothatsafeplacenotthroughremorse,butthroughheedfulnessandasense

ofsamvega.Thosearetwoemotionsthatyoucanreallyrelyon.Ofcourse,youdon’twanttojustsitinsamvega.Youwantittopropelyoutoact.Aswiththatchantjustnowonaging,illness,death,separation:Thatpartisallaboutsamvega.Butthereflectiononkamma:That’sactuallypasada,confidencethatthere’sawayout.It’sthroughyouractionsthatyoucanfindthewayout.Alwayskeepthatinmind.Thingsdon’tendwithsamvega.Theymoveontopasada,confidence,andfromthereontorelease.

Someditatewithconfidence.Thinkofyourpastmistakeswithconfidence,thatyou’renotgoingtohavetorepeatthem.Becauseyou’rethetypeofpersonwholearns.

85

WakeUpfromAddictionJanuary12,2016

Asyou’resettlingdownwiththebreath,youdon’twanttothinktoomuchaboutit,justenoughtomakeitcomfortable.Youdon’twanttoanalyzethingstothepointwhereyoustartlosingthebreathandgettingcaughtupintheanalysis.

Soyouaskyourselfjustafewsimplequestions:Wheredoyoufeelthebreathrightnow?Doesitfeelcomfortable?Whatwouldmakeitfeelmorecomfortable?Whatwouldmakeitfeelmorelikesomethingyou’dreallywanttosettledownand

spendsometimewith?That’sprettymuchit.AsI’vesaidbefore,whenyou’regettingthemindintoconcentrationanddeveloping

jhana,theobjectisn’tjhana.Theobjectisthebreath.It’sonlywhenyou’vesettleddownwiththebreathforquiteawhilethatyoubegintobeinapositionwhereyoucanstepbackalittlebittoreallyquestionandunderstandwhatyou’redoing,sothatitdoesbecomemoreofaskill.

Youbegintoseepatterns.AndoneofthepatternsyoubegintonoticeisthatyoureallyaredevelopingwhattheBuddhacalledthesevenfactorsforawakening.

Sometimesthelistismistakentobeadescriptionofwhatawakeningislike,butit’snot.It’sadescriptionofhowyougetthere.Awakeningissomuchmorethanthesethings.Andofcourse,thedescriptionofhowyougetthereismuchmoreusefulthanthedescriptionofwhatit’sgoingtobelikewhenyougetthereanyhow.

Sowhathaveyougotinthelist?You’vegotmindfulness:inthiscase,rememberingtokeepyourfocusonthebreath,whichisanaspectofthebodyinandofitself.You’reardentlytryingtostayhere,alerttowhat’sgoingon.Mindfulnessmeansrememberingnotonlytostayhere,butalsowhatworksinordertokeepyouhere.Thenyou’reardenttodowhateverneedstobedone.Andfinally,astheysayinthetexts,you’reputtingasidegreedanddistresswithreferencetotheworld.Inotherwords,you’rewiththebodyinandofitself,andnotthebodyinthecontextoftheworldorthinkingaboutissuesoftheworld.You’rerightherewiththissensationofthepresenceofthebody.That’syourframeofreference.

Thenthere’sanalysisofqualities,asyouanalyzewhatkindofbreathingisgood,whatkindofbreathingisnotgood.Youalsolookintothequalitiesinthemind.Isthe

86

pressureofthemind’sfocustoostrongortooweak?Areyoufeelinglaxandlazyorareyoufeelingoverlystimulated?Andwhatcanyoudotobringthingsbackintobalance?

Onceyou’veanalyzedthings,thenyouputintheefforttobringthemintobalance.Thateffortisthethirdfactorforawakening.

Whenyoudoitright,there’sgoingtobeasenseoffullness,refreshment,orrapture.That’sthefourth.Thisraptureorrefreshmentcancomeinaweakformorinastrongform.Buttherefreshmentiswhatallowsyoutostayhereandsay,“Oh,yes,thisreallyisgood.”

Then,afterawhile,theraptureorrefreshmenthasdoneitsworkandbeginstofadealittlebit,andthere’smoreofasenseofeaseandcalm—andwhenthere’sacalm,thenthemindcangetconcentrated.Thosearethefifthandsixthfactors.

Andasthemindgoesthroughthestagesofconcentration,youfinallygettoapointwherethemindfeelsveryequanimous.It’snotexcitedaboutanythingbutitfeelsokayrighthere—andokaynotinasmallway.Okayinabigway.Everythingfeelsverystable,onanevenkeel.Youfeelreallyathome,settleddownhere.Thatequanimityistheseventhandfinalfactor.

Now,analyzingthingsintermsofthesesevenfactorsisusefulforremindingyouhowtogetintoconcentrationwhenthingsaredifficult.Andit’simportanttonoticethatthisisoneofthelistsofqualitiesinwhichyourdiscernmentdoessomeworkbeforeyousettlein.Inotherwords,you’renotjustusingbruteforcetogetthemindtosettledown,andit’snotthecasethatitnaturallysettlesdownonitsown.Youfindthatyou’vegottodoalittleworktoanalyzethingsenoughtoseewhat’sgoodandwhat’snotgood,whatneedsencouraging,whatneedscuttingaway.Andonlythenwillthemindsettledown.

Butunderstandingyourpracticeintermsofthesefactorsisgoodnotonlyforremindingyourselfhowtogetintoconcentration,butforotherpurposesaswell.

Onewayinwhichthey’rereallyusefulisifyoufindyourselfengagedinsomeaddictivebehaviororaddictivethinking.Youcanthinkofthataddictionaslikebeingcaughtinabaddream,trappedinthesensethatitkeepsloopingaround.Themindgoesthroughlotsofdifferentfeedbackloops.Ifyouweretotracethemindasitwandersthroughthedayordinarily,ittendstoswitchfromonelooptoanotherlooptoanotheronetoanotherone.Butcertainpatternsofbehavioraremorelikegettingstuckinaloopandnotbeingabletogetout.

Youdosomethingtofeelbetter,butthenyoufeelbadaboutitandthenbecauseyoufeelbadaboutityouwanttodosomethingtomakeyourselffeelgoodandsoyougobackanddothefirstthingagain,becauseyouthinkthat’stheonlywayyou’regoingtogetalittlehitofpleasure.Themindjustgoesaroundandaroundandaroundinthisloopanddoesn’tcomeout.

You’vegottolearnhowtogetoutofthatloop.AndasIsaid,ifyoucanregarditasabaddream,askyourself:Whatdoyoudotogetoutofthedream?

87

Well,youwakeup.That’swhatthesefactorsarefor.Solet’ssayyou’vegotadesiretogiveintosomelustfulthinking.Partofthemind

saysthere’sgoingtobesomepleasurethere,butyouhavetorememberandrecognizethatthat’snotapartofthemindyouwanttohangoutwithortobelieve.Eventhoughtheremightbesomepleasureintheshortterm,thelong-termresultsarenotallthatpositive,notatallinyourbestinterests.

Sothefirstthingyoudoisestablishyourawarenesswiththebodyorwithanyoftheframesofreferenceformindfulness.Butsayyou’rewiththebody:Okay,workwiththebreath.Trytoreclaimthebreath,becauseoftentimesthesepatternsofthinkingtendtotakeholdofyourbreath.Theycomeinandseizeitandmakeittheirs.Theyappropriatethebreathfortheirpurposes.Theymakeyoufeeluncomfortablehere,uncomfortablethere;thispartofthebodyfeelstense,thatpartofthebodyfeelsblocked.Andpartofthecommitteewillsay,“Okay,ifyougiveintoourdesire,thenwe’llunblockthings.”

It’sasifthey’vekidnappedthebreathandareholdingithostage.Soyou’vegottoreclaimthebreath.Breathedeeply.Breatheinawaythatfeelsrefreshing,thatairsthingsoutinsideand

thatallowsyoutoestablishyourselfwithaframeofreference,sothatyou’renotswimmingaroundwiththesethoughts.You’veatleastgotthebreathinthebodyhere.Whenyouholdontothat,you’reputtingyourselfinapositionwhereyoucanwatchthingsinthemindandanalyzethemfromalittlebitofdistance.Youdon’thavetogetinvolved.

Remember:Themainprerequisiteforunderstandingthingsgoingoninthemindisyourabilitytostepbackfromthemandseethemassomethingseparate.

That’swhattheimageofthecommitteeofthemindisusefulfor.AsisAjaanLee’simageofallthosegermsgoingthroughyourblood,someofthemgoingthroughthebloodvesselsaroundyourbrainanddroppingoffafewthoughtsastheygopast,orgoingaroundotherpartsofthebodyandmakingyoufeelfeelingshereandfeelingsthere,sensationshereandtherethatwouldgetyouprovokedintodoingsomethingunskillful.

Thepurposeoftheseperceptionsistohelpyouseeyourthoughtsasalien.Youdon’thavetosidewiththem;youdon’thavetotakethemon.Andasforthecommittee,justrememberthatsomeofthemembersofthecommitteearebad.They’vebeenprettypowerfulinthepast,buttheydon’thavetomaintainthatpower.Youcanlearnhowtochangethebalanceofpowerinthemind.Soseethemasalien,too.Thatdeprivesthemofalotoftheirstrengthrightthere.

Onceyou’vegotthisbeachheadwiththebreathandthispositionwhereyoucanstand,atthebodyinandofitself,thenyoucananalyzethingsfurther.Inotherwords,thisurgeyouhavetothinkthesethoughts:Whatdoesitfeellikeinthebody?Whatarethesensationsaccompanyingitinthedifferentpartsofthebody?Whatarethefeelings,

88

whatarethethoughtsthatgothroughthemind?Insteadofjustrunningwiththem,tellyourselfthatyou’regoingtowatchthemforabittoseewhatthey’relike,wherethey’reheading,andthentakethemapart.

TheBuddhagiveslotsofdifferentwaysofanalyzingthesethings.Youcouldlookatthemasaggregates:sensationsinthebody,feelingsofpleasureorpain,perceptions,i.e.,theimagesyouholdinmind.

Takeperceptions,forexample:Whataretheimagesyouholdinmind—notsomuchabouttheobjectyou’relustingfor,butaboutlustitself?Whydoesitseemattractive?What’stheglamour?What’stheappeal?Canyouswitchthoseimages?

Orlookatthewayyoutalktoyourselfaboutit:Canyouchangethestorylineofyourfantasysothatitendsupprettydisastrous?Therapistscallthis“poisoningthefantasy.”Analyzethingslikethissothatyoucanstepbackfromthemandseethemasseparate,andseeexactlywhatitisthatexertsthepullthatkeepsyougoingbackagainandagainandagain.

Soyoutakethetermsofanalysisandyoukeepapplyingthem.Thisiswhatthefactorofpersistenceis:Ifyouseesomethingthat’sunskillful,takeit

apart.Don’tsimplyfallinwithit.Stepbackfromit.Andthemoreyoucananalyzeitintodiscretesensations,discretefeelings,ordiscretethoughts,thelesspowerithas.It’sbecausethesethingsconnectupthattheycreateastrongimpression,anoverwhelmingurgetothinkthoughtsthatyouknowarenotgoingtobehelpful,ortodothingsyouknowaregoingtobeunskillful,thataregoingtoleadtotroubledowntheline.

Trytoopenthingsup.Alltoooften,whenyougetfocusedonsomethinglikethis—beitanger,lustorwhatever—yourawarenessnarrowsdownandseemstobesurroundedonallsides.Butifyoucanopenupyourawareness,giveitafoundationhereinthebody,andthentakeallthesedifferentthingsapart,thenyouseethat—asthey’retakenononebyonebyone—theydon’thavesomuchpower.They’renotsoformidable.It’swhentheymeldtogetherthattheyseemstrongandoverwhelming.Sotakethemapart.Chopthemintopieces.

Asyoukeepatthisinthebeginning,it’sgoingtobeastrainbecauseyou’vegottoworkagainstsomeverystrongtendencies.Buttherewillcomeapointwhereyoubreakthroughandthere’sasenseofrefreshment.You’vemadeittotheotherside.That’swhatallowsthemindtofinallygetasenseofease,tobeconcentrated,andtodevelopasenseofequanimitytowardtheoriginalurge—inotherwords,notbeinterestedinitanymore.

Thisishowyouwakeupfromtheaddiction.Whenyou’vedonethisonce,thenyouwanttorememberthatitfeltreallygoodwhenyoufinallygotpastthelust.That’sagoodthingtokeepinmind,asfoodformindfulnessthenexttimearound.Aswe’repracticing,we’retryingtogatherupenoughexperiencesothatourmindfulnessisn’tinformedjustbywhatwe’veheardorread.It’salsoinformedbywhatwe’vedonethat’s

89

gottenresults.Andyouwanttoremindyourselfofhowgoodtheresultsare,becausethat’sgoing

tochangethetenoroftheperceptionsinyourmind—especiallytheonesthattellyouthatoncethisurgecomes,you’vegottogiveintoitinevitably,andthere’snootherwayoutonceyou’vealreadygottenthisfardownthelinewiththisparticularfantasy,solet’sjustrunwithit.You’vegottolearnhowtosay,“No.MaybeI’vebeenwithitforacertainamountoftimebutIdon’thavetofollowitallthewaythrough.Idon’thavetofinishthestoryline.I’mnotcommitted.I’vecutthingsoffinthepast,sowhycan’tIdoitnow?”

It’sinterestingthatalltoooftenwefindithardtobecommittedtomeditation,butoncesomethingunskillfulcomesintothemindwethink,“Well,I’vealreadydonethismuch,I’vegottenthisfar.I’mcommitted,soImightaswellgoalltheway.”

Wecancutthatstoryline,orthatfalsesenseofobligation.Thenthere’stheothervoice,theonethatsays,“You’vegivenininthepast,you’re

suretogiveinagaininfiveminutes,somakeiteasyonbothofus.Giveinrightnowandgetitoverwith.Don’tstruggle.”

Well,remindyourselfthatthatdoesn’t“getitoverwith,”andthatthestruggleitselfissomethingskillful.

AjaanMahaBoowatalksaboutthisalot.Hesays,“Whenyougiveintotallywithoutastruggle,howcanyousaythatyoulost?Youdidn’tevenputupafight.Iftherewereafight,thenyoucouldsayonesidewonandtheothersidelost,buthere’sthere’snofightatall.”There’smorehonorinstrugglingandlosingthaninnotstrugglingatall.

Soputupsomestruggle.Andwhenthevoicesaysthatyou’regoingtogivein,youcanreply,“Well,Idon’tknowwhatI’mgoingtodoinfiveminutes’time,butrightnowI’mnotgoingtogivein.”Andofcourse,infiveminutes’timeyoutellyourselfagain,“RightnowI’mnotgoingtogivein,either.”Thatway,youcanmakeyourdeterminationoutlasttheurgetogiveintoyouraddiction.Andyoucanstrengthenthatdeterminationbybeingwiththebreath,byhavingthesetoolsforanalyzingthingssothatwhatseemslikeanoverwhelmingurgeisbrokendownsimplyintoaggregates,littlebitsandpiecesofphysicalsensations,feelings,perceptions,thoughts,andconsciousnessofthesethings.

That’showyougetpast.That’showyouwakeupoutofthesebaddreams.Sotrytoappreciatethefactthatasyou’reworkingongettingthemindsettleddown

withthebreathyou’regettingtoknowyourmindalotbetter.You’redevelopingsomeskillsthatyoucanuseinalotofdifferentsituationsthatyoumightnotexpect,buttheskillsarethere,readytobeputintouse.

TheBuddhataughtthingsthatareuseful.Sometimeshislistsseemdryandforeign,butasyougetmoreandmoreacquaintedwithyourbreath,acquaintedwiththemindas

90

itcirclesaroundthebreathandfinallysettlesin,youseethattheBuddha’sdescriptionsarereallyaccurate,veryprecise,veryhelpful.Heworkedmanyeonstobeinthepositionwherehecouldgivethatkindofadvice,andhemeantforittobeused.Sothinkofallthetroublehewenttotolearnthesethingsandtopassthemon.MakeitasignofyourgratitudefortheBuddhathatyou’regoingtousehisteachingsandcomeoutwithresults.

91

Mindfulness2.0August19,2016

AjaanSuwattellsthestoryofwhenhewasayoungmonkandfirstwenttostaywithAjaanMun.Oneday,AjaanMunaskedhimhowhismeditationwasgoing,andAjaanSuwatreplied,“Mymindisallovertheplace.It’sdistracted.”AjaanMuncomfortedhim,saying,“Well,thefactthatyouknowthatthemindisdistractedcountsasmindfulness.”

AndAjaanSuwattookitwell.HerealizedthatAjaanMunwastryingtocomforthim—notsayingthatwhathewasdoingwasgood.It’sabeginningstep,recognizingthatyourmindisdistracted.Butonceyou’verecognizedit,you’vegottodosomethingaboutit.You’vegottofigureouthowtomakeitundistracted.

Thisisverydifferentfromhowmindfulnessisusuallytaughtnowadays,whereit’sallaboutbeingnonreactive,justbeingwithwhatevercomesup.That’snothowtheBuddhataughtmindfulness.

Now,thereissomevirtueinbeingwithwhatevercomesup,becausealltoooftenwetrytodenythings.Yearsback,whentheyhadthatAjaanChahcelebrationupinPortolaValley,alotofhisstudentsweretalkingaboutwhatattractedthemtoAjaanChah.Anditseemsthatineverycase,theywerehavingtroublesimplyadjustingtothefactthattheywereinThailand,acceptingthingsthewaytheywere.Soalotofhisteachinghadtodowithequanimityandpatience.HeprobablysawthatWesternerslackedthesequalitiesandthattheyneededthemtobereinforcedbeforetheycouldreallygetstartedonanythingfurtherinthepractice.

Oursociety’sinsoreneedofequanimityandpatience,whichiswhyalotofwhatgetssoldasmindfulnessnowadaysisactuallyaboutbeingequanimouswithregardtowhatevercomesup,beingpatientwithwhatevercomesup.Butthat’snottheendofthestory.

TherewasanincidentwaybackinBurma,I’veforgottenwhichoftheBurmesemeditationtraditionstheytellitin,butoneofthefoundersofthetraditionwenttoseeanoldmonkupinthehillsandaskedhimaboutwheretolookforgoodguidanceinmeditation.Andtheoldmonktoldhim,“EverythingyouneedtoknowisintheMahaSatipatthanaSutta,isn’tit?”Whichwasahugepieceofmisinformation.TheMahaSatipatthanaSuttatellsonlyapartofmindfulnesspractice.Unfortunately,though,thefounderofthetraditionwentbackandtookthatashisguide.

Thefullformulaatthebeginningofthesuttasays,“Youkeeptrackofthebodyinandofitself,feelingsinandofthemselves,themindinandofitself,mentalqualitiesin

92

andofthemselves:ardent,alert,andmindful,puttingasidegreedanddistresswithreferencetotheworld.”Butthentherestofthesuttatalksaboutonlyonepartofthatformula:whatitmeanstokeeptrackofbody,orfeelings,ormind,ormentalqualitiesinandofthemselves.Sothesutta’sbasicallyteachingMindfulness1.0.Ittellsyouonepartoftheformula:whatitmeanstokeeptrackofsomething.

Butasfortherest—beingardent,alert,andmindful,puttingasidegreedanddistresswithreferencetotheworld:ThatgetsleftforotherpartsoftheCanon.Andyetthepartsthatareleftoutarewhatthepracticeisallabout.Ardent,alert,andmindful,puttingasidegreedanddistresswithreferencetotheworld:Thisishowyougetthemindintoconcentration.

“Alert”meansthatyouwatchwhatyou’redoingandtheresultsthatcomefromwhatyou’redoing.“Mindful”meansthatyoukeepinmindwhatyou’vegottodo.Andardencyisthedesiretodoitwell.

AjaanLee,whenheexplainsmindfulnesspractice,pointstothewisdominardency.Youdon’tjustknowaboutthings.Youknowthatsomethinghastobedonewiththem.

Andthisishintedateveninthesutta.Whenittalksaboutdealingwiththehindrances,dealingwiththefactorsforawakening,dealingwiththefettersthatariseatthesixsenses,itdoesn’ttellyoujusttowatchthemcomingandgoing.Saythatahindranceorafetterarises:Youwatchforwhenit’spresent,youwatchforwhenit’snot,andthenyouwatchtoseehowitmaybemadetogoawayandnotcomeback.Witheachofthefactorsforawakening,youwatchforwhenit’spresent,youwatchforwhenit’snot,andthenyouwatchtoseehowitcanbemaintainedanddevelopedtoapointofculmination.

Soeveninthesuttait’snotjustamatterofsittingtherewatchingthings.There’sadirectionwhereyouwanttogo.There’sadirectionforyourardency.That’sMindfulness2.0.Ittakesyouthroughtheardencyintoconcentration.

AstheBuddhasaid,oneofthefunctionsofmindfulnessistokeepunskillfulqualitiesoutofthemindandbringskillfulqualitiesin.Likeagatekeeperatafrontierfortress:You’vegottowatchoutforthespiesandtheotherpeoplewhomightcreatetroubleinyourfortress,soyoulearntorecognizetheminordertokeepthemfromcomingin.Andyouremembertorecognizethepeoplewhoarefriendsandallies—thesoldiersandotherpeopleonyourside—sothatyoucanletthemin.

So,asyou’resittingheremeditating,youdohavetoadmitwhat’scomingup,butdon’tjuststopwiththeadmitting.Yourealizethatsomethinghastobedone.Whatyoukeepinmindarethedutiesofthefournobletruths.Stresshastobecomprehended;itscausehastobeabandoned;itscessationhastoberealized;andthepathtoitscessationhastobedeveloped.Inmanycases,theBuddhaemphasizestwoofthosedutiesmorethantheothers:theabandoningandthedeveloping.

Andsohereweare,tryingtodevelopconcentration,whichmeansthatanything

93

thatcomesupthat’snotrelatedtothebreath,youputitaside,putitaside.Anythingthatisrelatedtothebreaththathelpsyousettledown,youtrytodevelopit,youtrytostrengthenit.

Thisiswhatitmeanstobeardent.Andthisiswhyit’swise,becausewithouttheardency,thingscomeandthingsgoandyou’rejustsittingthereonthesideoftheroadwatchingthemcomeandgo.Buthere,thisisyourmind.It’snotjustcarsonaroad.Andwhatshapeisyourmindin?Whatshapedoyouwantittobein?Youwantyourmindtobeingoodshape.YouwanttobeabletosayNotothethingsinthemindthataregoingtoharmit,andYestothethingsthatwillhelpitdevelop.Youdon’twanttojustwatchthecars.Youwanttobeinthedriver’sseat,headedintherightdirection.

Soanythingrelatedtothebreath,anythingthathelpsyousettledownwiththebreath:Yes.Andonceyou’rehere,whatdoyoudowiththebreath?Ardencyinthiscasemeansbeingespeciallysensitivetothebreathandtowhatkindofbreathingwouldfeelreallygoodrightnow.Afterall,thepurposeofrightmindfulnessistoleadintorightconcentration.Soifyoucangetabsorbedinthebreath,gainaninterestinthebreath,feelateasewiththebreath,thathelpsyoustaywithasenseofwell-being.

TheBuddhalistsfourqualitiesthathelpwithsuccessindoingthis,thefourbasesofpower.Thefirstissimplythedesire:Youwanttodothiswell.That’stheardency.Butardencyalsocontainstwootherbasesofpower:persistenceandaqualitycalledintent.Thisiswhererighteffortandthefourbasesofsuccessoverlap.Youlearnhowtogeneratethedesiretodothiswell.Thenyoustickwithit,youkeepatit.Ifthemindwandersoff,youbringitback.Itwandersoffagain,youbringitbackagain.Threetimes,fivetimes,tentimes,ahundredtimes:Keepbringingitback.Showitthatyoumeanbusiness.

Whenitcomesback,paycarefulattentiontotwothings:One,whatwouldbeareallycomfortablebreathtostaywithsothatthemindwillwanttostayhere?Andtwo,watchoutforthefactthatit’sgoingtowanderoffagain.Youwanttobeabletocatchitbeforeitgoes.Themorequicklyyoucancatchit,themoreyou’llseeintothemind,thevariousstagesinhowitslipsoffandsomehowtriestodenytoitselfwhatit’sdoing.Butwhenyoucanseethroughthat,thenyou’reinamuchbetterpositiontostopitfromhappening.

Andfinallythere’sthefourthbaseofpower,vimamsa,whichisanotheraspectofdiscernment.Youtrytouseyouringenuityinfiguringoutwaysthat’llhelpthemindtostay.Thisiswhatgetsyouabsorbed,becauseyou’reexperimentingandyou’relearning.You’renotjusttyingtheminddowntoastake;you’regainingsometrainingin:Whatisitliketobewiththebody?Andwhat’sactuallygoingoninthebody?Whatarethelayersofbreathenergyinthebody?

Wetalkaboutthein-and-outbreathandthebreaththatgetssuffusedthroughthenervesinthebloodvessels.Well,there’sanotherlevelthat’sevendeeperstill,that’s

94

veryquiet.It’sakindofenergy,butit’sanenergythatjuststaysinplace.Youcanaccessitonlywhenthemindisveryquiet,too.Differentpeoplewillfindthattheyhavenodesofthisenergyindifferentplaces.Itcouldbeinthemiddleofthechest,itcouldbedownbythebreastbone,orrightbetweentheeyes.Therearelotsofdifferentplaceswhere—ifyou’rereally,reallyquiet—youcangetthesenseofgreatstillnessrightthere.Andthere’snoneedforanin-and-outbreathrightthere.Ifyoucanaccessthat,trytostaywithit.It’sagoodrestingplaceforthemind.

Butknowthatit’sgoodtobewithallthedifferentlevelsofthebreath.Becausesometimestheproblemisnottherewiththestillbreath,it’swiththebreathenergyspreadingthroughthebody.Itmightnotbespreadingwell,sowhatcanyoudotogetittogotoplaceswhereitordinarilydoesn’tgo?Trybreathingindifferentdirections:infromtheleft,infromtheright,infromthefront,infromtheback,down,up.Seewhathelpsforthatparticularspot.Orsometimestheproblemissimplythefactthatthebreathistooshallowortoodeep.Watchoutforthebreathwhenitgetsreallyshallowandverylight.Ifyourrangeofawarenessisn’tbroad,you’lltendtodriftoff.Sometimesafteradayofwork,youneedsomeheavierbreathingtorefreshthebody.

Learntorealizethatthesethreedifferenttypesofbreathenergy—thein-and-outbreath,thesuffusedbreath,andthestillbreath—havetheiruses.Then,asyou’remaintainingyourmindinthepresentmoment,thisisagoodareatostudy,toapplyyouringenuitytofigureoutwhat’sgoingonandwhatcouldmakeitbetter.Thismakestheconcentrationmoreinteresting.Atthesametime,itgetsthemindmoreandmoreunderyourcontrol.

AstheBuddhasaid,oneofthepurposesofmeditationistothinkthoughtsthatyouwanttothinkandnotthinkthoughtsyoudon’twanttothink.That,too,isoneofthepurposesofmindfulness.Hecallsmindfulnessagoverningprinciple.Inotherwords,itwatchesoverwhat’sunskillfulandfiguresouthowtoputanendtoit.Itwatchesoverwhat’sskillfulandfiguresouthowtodevelopit.

WhentheBuddhatalksabouthowrightmindfulness,righteffort,andrightviewallcirclearoundallthedifferentfactorsofthepath,heshowsclearlythattheroleofmindfulnessistoremember.Ifyouencountersomethingthat’swrong,youhavetoremembertoabandonit.Ifyouencountersomethingthat’sskillful,youremembertodevelopit.

That’sMindfulness2.0.Afterlearninghowtowatchthingsariseandpassawayontheirown,younowlearnhowtomakegoodthingsariseandmakeunskillfulthingspassaway.Andthatway,themindfulnessgivesalotmorebenefits.Itgivesyoutoolstodealwiththingssothatyoucanactuallycompletethedutiesofthefournobletruthsandrealizethecessationofsuffering.That’salargegoal,butit’swithinourreach,somethingwecanalldo—ifweestablishourmindfulnessproperly.

AstheBuddhasaid,ifitwereimpossibletoabandonunskillfulqualitiesandto

95

developskillfulqualities,hewouldn’thavetaughtit.Oriftheprocessofabandoningunskillfulqualitiesanddevelopingskillfulqualitiesledtopainandsuffering,hewouldn’thavetaughtit,either.Butbecauseweareabletoabandontheseunskillfulthingsanddeveloptheskillfulones,andit’sagoodthingtodobecauseitleadstotruehappiness:That’swhytheBuddhataught,andthat’swhywe’repracticing.

96

MindfulnessLikeaDamAugust10,2017

UpasikaKeehasananalogywhereshecomparesmindfulnesstoadamacrossariver.Thisgoesagainstourusualpictureofmindfulnessasanopen,allowingstateofmindthatallowseverythingtoflow.ButherunderstandingofmindfulnessisclosertowhattheBuddhatalkedabout.It’sawayofexercisingrestraintoverthemind.Youkeepinmindthefactthatyouwanttostaywithaparticulartopic—likethebody,orfeelings,orthemind,inandofthemselves—andwithinthatframework,yourememberwhattodowithwhatevercomesup.Ifsomethingunskillfulcomesup,youtrytogetridofit,oratleastturnitintosomethingskillful.Ifthere’ssomethingskillfulthere,youtrytoencourageit.You’renotjustlettingthingsariseandpassawayontheirown.

You’reactuallytryingtogiverisetoskillfulthingsandmakesuretheydon’tpassaway.And,aswithputtingupadamacrossanyriver,intheprocessofputtingitupyoulearnalotaboutthecurrentsintheriver.Youwanttokeepthemindwiththebreath.And,allofasudden,youfindyourselfsomeplaceelse.What’simportantthereisthatyoutakeaverymatter-of-factattitudetowardwhat’shappenedandjustbringyourattentionback.Staywiththebreathagain.

Butthenexttimearound,trytobealittlebitmorealerttothewarningsignsthatthemindisabouttogooff,anddowhatyoucantocounteractthem.Theremaybealittletwitchingorstirringsomeplaceinthebody,whichcorrespondstoalittletwitchingorstirringinthemind.Andyoucanbreathethroughit.You’vediffusedit,atleastforthetimebeing.Thequickeryoucangetatthisprocess,catchingthemindintime,themoreyoulearnaboutthecurrentsofthemind,howadecisiongetsmade.

Weweretalkingtodayaboutaknee-jerk—orIguesswhatyoumightcallanelbow-jerk—reaction:Animageofawatchcomesintoyourmind,andyouliftupyourarmtolookatthetime.Noticingthismakesyouthinkabouthowmanytimesyoudothatsortofthinginthecourseofthedaywithouteventhinkingaboutit—whichisjustlikelettingtheriverflow.Butnowyou’veputupadam,andsoyoubegintonoticethingsinthemindyoudidn’tnoticebefore.Youbegintorealizehowmanylayersthereareinthemind,likethemanylayersofcurrentsinadeepriver.Ifadamisn’tstrong,you’renotgoingtoseethem.

AjaanFuangoncehadastudentwhocomplainedthatthemoreshemeditated,themessierhermindseemedtobe.Andhetoldherthatitwasbecauseshewasdetectingthingsthatwerethereallthetimebutthatshehadn’tnoticedbefore.It’slikecleaningyourroom.Ifyoudon’tdustyourroomeveryday,youneverseehowmanynewlayersofdustsettleonthefurnitureorthefloorinadaybecausetheolddustisalreadythere.

97

Whenthenewdustcomes,itdoesn’tmakemuchdifference.Butifyoudustedtheroomeveryday,wipeditdowneveryday,thentheleastlittlebitofdustthatcamein,you’dseeimmediately.Anditwouldlookappalling.

Soyourstandardschange.Theybecomemoremeticulous,andyougettoseethingsthataremoreandmorerefinedhappeninginthemind.Now,you’renotgoingtolikealotofwhatyousee.Well,justacceptthatfact.Again,takeaverymatter-of-factattitudetowardthat:thatthisisthewaythemindhasbeenallalong.You’retryingtouncoverthings,sodon’tbeafraidtoseethingsyoudon’tlike.Afterall,ifyoudon’tseethem,howareyougoingtodealwiththem?They’rejustgoingtostaythere—hiddenpowersinthemind.

Theotherpartofhavingadamacrossariveristhatyoucanthendirectthewaterinthedirectionyouwantittogo.Inthiscase,you’retryingtoturnittowardconcentration.Hereagain,itrequiresmindfulnesstorememberwhatworksingettingthemindtostaywiththebreath.Andwhenyoufinallygetasenseofeaseandwell-beingwiththebreath,whatdoyoudowithit?Howdoyouletitsoakthroughthebody,seepthroughthebody,andkeepwatchoverit?Herethecurrentsofthemindareheadedtowardonething.Andwhenthecurrentsinthemindareconcentratedlikethis,theycanwashalotofthingsaway.Soeventhoughtheimageofthedamseemsalittlebitrestricted,it’sthereforagoodpurpose,becauseotherwiseyourmindisallovertheplace.

There’sapassageintheCanoncomparingamindwithhindrancestoariverwithlotsofoutlets.Asaresult,theriverdoesn’thaveanystrength,becausethewatergoesflowingoffinalldirections.Butifyoufocusitononechannel,ithasalotofforce.Sowe’regoingtousethisforcetocleanupwhat’sinthemind.You’regoingtofindthingsyoudon’tlikeinthemind,butthey’renotgoingtostaythere.Yourabilitytoseethemisthefirststeptowardwashingthemaway—tryingtounderstandwhenandwhyyouhavegreedforsomething,orlustforsomething,orangerforsomething.

Therearemanylayersgoingon—again,likemanylayersofcurrentsintheriver.First,there’swhatyouseeasimmediatelyappealingabouttheobject.And,evenwithanger,there’ssomethingappealingabouttheangeraroundit.Thenthere’sanotherlayerofappeal:Whydoyoulikeseeingthatasattractive?Theselayersgetmoreandmoresubtle.Butthereallysubtleonesaretheonesthataregoingtomatter,thatcomefromthelizardbrain,communicationsthatzipthroughthemind:veryquick,verysubtle.Ifyouhaven’tbeentrainingyourmindtokeepitwithoneobjectandbringitbackwhenitwandersoff,you’renotgoingtoseethem.Butifyouhave,youwill.Andyoubegintorealizetheextenttowhichtheselittleimagesthatgothroughthemind,likesubliminalimagesonTV,haveahugeimpact.Themorestillnessyouhave,themoreyoucanbeincontrolofhowyourespondtothings.Thisiswhatthedamofmindfulnessdoesforyou:Itallowsthewatertostop,andthenyoudirectittowhereyouwantittogo.

Soit’sthroughstandinginthewayofthesethingsthatwelearnaboutthem.Ifyou

98

justgowiththeflow,everythingisaflow.Allthecurrentsgetmingledtogether,andyoucan’ttellthemapart.WhereastheBuddhasaysthatifyoureallywanttounderstandthings,youhavetolearnhowtoseparatethem,inthesenseofseeinghowthisthoughtfunctionsinthiswayandthatthoughtfunctionsinthatway.Thisperceptionfeedsonthatperception.Theyareinterconnected,buttheyaresomewhatdistinct.Andyouwanttoseethemasseparatefromoneanother,andseparatefromyou.That,hesaid,ishowyougetpastignorance.Youlearnhowtoseethingsinthesixsensesandalltheprocessesaroundthesensesassomethingseparate.

Sotherearemanycurrentstoseehere.Andthemorestillnessyouhave,thebetter.Tochangetheanalogy,it’slikebeinginchargeofalargecorporationandsuddenly

realizingthatthedifferentworkershavepowercentersandwaysofmakingdecisionsthatyoudidn’tknowaboutatall.Theyweremakingindependentdecisionswithoutreallyconsultingyou.Andtheywereskewingtheinformationthatwascomingupfromthelowerlevelsoftheorganizationsothatyou’dbeinclinedtoseethingstheirwayandwouldautomaticallymakedecisionstheirway.Butnowyou’rebeginningtowanderaroundtheoffice,learningthepoliticsinsideandseeingwherethemisinformation’scomingfrom.Itcanbesomewhatupsettingorembarrassingtorealizehowmuchyou’veallowedthingstogoastrayinsideyourowncorporation.Butnow,atleast,you’recleaningthingsout.

Andrightthere,there’shope,inthesamewaythatputtingadamacrosstheriverofthecurrentsofyourmindcanserveagoodpurpose.Inthebeginning,itfeelsconstrictingbecausethingsdon’tflowastheynormallydid.Butifyoulearnhowtodirecttheflowofthemindinanewdirection,youseealotofthingsyoudidn’tseebefore.Youcanclearupalotofmessesthatyoudidn’tevenknowwerethere.

Soasyoubuildthisdamofmindfulnessinyourmind,makesurethatit’ssolid.Builditongoodfoundations:thefoundationoftheprecepts,thefoundationofrightview.Andthatway,you’llbeliketheimageintheDhammapada:Justasirrigatorsdirecttheflowofthewater,youlearnhowtodirecttheflowofthemind.Youbuildadam,openachannelintherightdirection,andyougetthewatertodowhatyouwant.

99

TheUseofthePresentNovember28,2016

Wefocusonthebodyinandofitself,feelingsinandofthemselves,mindstatesinandofthemselves,butwedon’tmakethemthegoalinandofthemselves.We’retryingtotakethemaparttoseewhatthey’remadeof,becausewe’vebeenputtingthemtogetherinallkindsofstrangeways,waysthatleadtosuffering.They’relikerawmaterials.We’vebeencreatingweaponsoutofthem:weaponsthatharmotherpeople,weaponsthatharmourselves.Buttheydon’thavetobeweapons.Wecantaketheweaponsapartandreassemblethepartsintosomethingactuallybeneficial.

Seewhatwe’vegotrighthere.We’vegotthebodybreathing.Ithasdifferentpostures.Andithasdifferentelementsinside:earth,water,wind,andfire.Thereare32parts—and32isjustthebeginning.Therearelotsmorelittlepartsinthere,too.Soyouwanttobewiththeseaspectsofthebodyasthey’rehappening.Thesamewithfeelingsastheyarise;thesamewithmindstates.Wemakethemmeansomething.Inthepast,themeaningshavebeenunskillful,butnowwe’regoingtolearnhowtoputthemtogetherinamoreskillfulway.Sowetakethemaparttoreassemblethemforagoodpurpose.Wedon’ttakethemasendsinandofthemselves.

There’sthattendencytofetishizethepresentmoment.“Ifyoucanbeinthepresentmoment,everything’sgoingtobeokay”:That’sthemantraofthemindfulnessmovement.Buttherearetimeswhenyou’retemptedtosay,“Let’sjustdisownmindfulnessentirely,”atleastinthewayit’sbeenturnedintoabusinesshereintheStates.It’sashame,because“mindfulness”isaperfectwordforwhattheBuddhawastalkingabout:keepingsomethinginmind.

We’renotherewiththepresentmomentjusttoacceptthepresentmoment,becausethat’snotgoingtosolveallourproblems.We’reheretoseewhatwe’vegothereinthepresentmoment,thebasicbuildingblocks,andtoseeifwecanturnthemintoapath:apathtotheendofsuffering—because,afterall,thepathwe’refollowingissomethingyouputtogether.

Eventhewayyoubreatheissomethingyouputtogether.Youhaveanimageinthemindofhowthebreathshouldbe,butsometimesthatimagemaybeharmful.It’sgoingtohaveanimpactonhowyouactuallybreathe.Ifyouchangetheimage,it’llchangethewayyoubreathe.Youcanexperiment,say,emphasizingtheout-breath.Withoutpayingmuchattentiontothein-breath,bemorecarefultobreatheout,togetalltheunhealthyairoutofyourlungs:Seewhatholdingthatideaofthebreathinminddoes.Oryoucanexperimenttheotherwayaround.Seewhatworksbestrightnow.

100

Orwithyourfeelings,howyourelatetopainsinthebody:Youmayhavesomeold,unskillfulwaysoffabricatingpains.Thereisaphysicalcauseformostpains—thebody’sreadytocreatepainsinallkindsofways—butparticularpainscomeupandwetendtotrytotraptheminaparticularway,ormovethemaroundinaparticularway,orwepicturethemtoourselvesinaparticularway,andthat’sgoingtohaveanimpactonhowweactuallyexperiencethem.

Thesamewithmindstates:Thingscomeupinthemind.Somethingscomeupandit’sveryeasytoletthemgo.Otherthingscomeupandthey’rebristlingwithVelcro,orwithbiggerhooksthanVelcro.Theydigrightin.There’safascinationwiththem.Andwecanfabricatethosethoughtsintoallkindsofworlds.

Sothesolutionistotakethesethingsapartandthenlearnhowtofabricatethemingoodways.Fabricatethebreath.Fabricateyourfeelingsintoastateofconcentration.Fabricateyourthoughtsintoquestionsyoumightaskaboutwherethestressis:Whatcanyoudotounderstandit?Whatcanyoudotofigureoutthecause?Whatcanyoudotoabandonthecause?Thoseareusefulquestions.That’sagooduseofyourdirectedthoughtandevaluation:thewaythemindtalkstoitself.

Sothepresentmomentisnotanabsolute.It’ssomethingyou’realwaysfabricating,andthestrategyofthepathistolearnhowtofabricateitinanewdirection,towardtheendofsuffering.Thismeansthatyou’reusingeverythingthatcomesupinthepresentasameanstoalargerend.You’vealreadybeenusingitasameansinthepast,butthistimeyou’regoingtouseitwithmoreknowledge—andhopefullywithsomemoreskill—asameanstoabetterend.Themoreknowledgeyoubringtotheseprocesses,thelessyou’llsuffer.

There’saninterestingpieceIsawtodayinTheNewYorkTimes,complainingaboutthemindfulnessmovementanditstendencytofetishizethepresent.Theauthor’scomplaintwasthatpeopledon’treallygethappybecauseofwhattheydo.Peoplegethappybecauseofcircumstances.Andthesolutiontotheproblemisthatwe’vegottochangethesocietysothatpeoplewillbehappy.However,themindfulnessmovementisopposedtochangingsociety,orisanobstacletothatchange:Thatwastheauthor’stake.

Yetthisisoneofthoseargumentswherebothsidesarewrong.Inotherwords,simplybeinginthepresentmomentisnotgoingtomakeyouhappy.Butthentryingtocreateaperfectsocietyisnotgoingtomakeyouhappy,either.

LookattheBuddha.Ifanybodycouldhavecreatedaperfectsociety,itwouldhavebeenhim.Buthesawthatitwasuseless.TherewasatimewhenMaracametohim.ThequestionhadarisenintheBuddha’smind,“Coulditbepossibletoruleinsuchawaythatyouwouldn’thavetocreatebadkammaandthatyoucoulddonothingbutgoodforallbeings?”Marashowsup,andsays,“Ah,yes,dothat.”AndtheBuddharealizesthatthisideaofcreatingaperfectsocietyisallatrickofMara,becauseyou’re

101

usingpeopleforends.Andhowskillfularethoseends?Eveniftheendsaregood,there’satendencytotrytoattaintheminunskillfulways,toimposethemonpeople.Ifyoutellpeoplethatthingswillbegoodandthey’llbehappyonlyifsocietyisperfect,peoplewoulddiebeforetheycouldfindtruehappiness.

Ontheotherhand,thesolutionisnotamatterofsimplyacceptingthingsastheyare.It’slearninghowtoreshapetheminaskillfulway,startingwithlearninghowtoreshapethingsskillfullywithinyourselfand,atthesametime,beinggenerousandvirtuous.Generosityandvirtueareprobablythetwobestthingsforimprovingsociety.We’renevergoingtogetaperfectsociety,butyoufindthatthewiseryouareinyourgenerosity,themoreconsistentyouareinyourvirtue,thenthebettertheworldyoucreatearoundyou.Anditcanbedonewithoutforce,withoutimposingyourwillonotherpeople.

Generosityandvirtuearetheyeastthatgetsintoasocietyandmakesithuman,regardlessofwhatthestructureorsystemmaybe.Ifpeopleweremorevirtuousandmoregenerous,thingswouldbealotlessoppressive.Andthepeoplewhoarevirtuousandgenerousarealsofindingthattheycreatehappinessforthemselves.It’stotheirbenefit.Thatgoestogetherwiththepracticeofmeditation.

IntheBuddha’simage,virtuecleansyourdiscernment,anddiscernmentcleansyourvirtue.Andundertheterm“virtue”inthatpassage,theBuddhaincludedthepracticeofthejhanasandtheknowledgesyoucangainbasedonjhana.Asvirtueanddiscernmentcleaneachother,hesaid,it’slikeonehandwashinganotherhandoronefootwashinganotherfoot.Bothsidesbenefit.Andyou’reshapingthepresentmomentinanewway.We’renotherejusttoacceptthings.Wedohavetofigureoutwhatwehaveandtoacceptwhatwe’vegot,asrawmaterials,butthenwehavetofigureoutwhat’sthebestthingtodowiththosematerials.That’swhatthepathisallabout.

Thepresentmomentisapath.It’sleadingsomeplace.Thequestionis,“Whatkindofpathisit?Wheredoestheparticularpathyou’reonrightnowlead?”Ifyourmindwandersofftothoughtsofsensuality,thoughtsoflust,thoughtsofanger,itisapath,butit’sapathinadownwarddirection.

Ifyoucandevelopthoughtsofrenunciation,compassion,andgoodwill,that’sapathleadingupward.Ifyoucantakeyourthoughtsandtalktoyourselfaboutthebreath,getmoresettledinthepresentmoment,thatleadsevenhigher.Sowe’vegottherawmaterialshere.Theproblemis,asIsaid,thatwe’vebeenturningthemintoweaponsandusingthemtoharmourselvesandharmothers.

Butyoucangrindthosesamerawmaterialsdownandturnthemintomedicine.That’soneoftheBuddha’simages:TheDhammaislikemedicine.He’slikeadoctor.Andhereyouare,learningtobeadoctoryourself,takingthethingsthatyouusedtousetopoisonyourselfandfiguringouthow,ifyoumixtheminadifferentway,theycanactuallybecomemedicines.

102

Sothepresentisheretobeused.Andtheteachingsareheretoteachushowtouseitwisely.

103

TheKammaofConcentrationFebruary16,2017

Yearsback,Iwasaskedtowriteareviewofabookonpositivepsychology—thepsychologyofhowpeoplefindhappiness—andtoapproachitfromaBuddhistpointofview.OneofthethingsInoticed,asIwasreadingthroughthebook,wasthattherewasnoconsiderationofwhattheimpactofyoursearchforhappinessmighthaveonotherpeople.Thewriter,asapsychologist,wasclaimingtobemorallyneutral,whichissupposedlyscientific,buttherewasnoconsiderationatallthatyoursearchforhappinessmightharmothersoryourself.SoIpointedthatout:thatfromaBuddhistpointofview,thiswasahugegap,andahugemissingpartoftheequation.

TheeditorofthemagazinesaidhewassurprisedthatI’dfocusedonkammaasthemissingfactor.Hewasexpectingsomethingmorealongthelinesofemptiness,say,orthebodhisattvavowthatyoushouldn’tbelookingforhappinessanyhow.ButIwassurprisedthathewassurprised,becausefromtheverybeginning,theteachingwasallabouthappiness,anditwasallaboutkamma.That’showtheBuddhadifferentiatedhisteachingsfromothers’.Hewasakammavadin,someonewhotaughtkamma.

Thisrelatestoanothersurprisingincident.Iwasaskedtogiveatalkonkammatoagroupofmeditatorsontherelationshipbetweenkammaandmeditation.Ispokeabouthowtheteachingsonkammaarealldesignedtoshowthatitispossibletomasteraskill.Ifkamma,atleastastheBuddhataughtit,weretotallydeterministic,there’dbenowaytodevelopaskill,andthere’dbenoreasontoteachatall.Afterall,peoplewouldn’tbeabletochangetheirways,everythingtheydidwouldbetotallypredetermined.If,ontheotherhand,everythingweretotallyrandom,there’dbenoabilitytodevelopaskilleither,becausesomethingyoumightmastertodaywouldn’tmeananythingtomorrowifeverythingkeptchanginginarandomway.

ThewaytheBuddhataughtkammawasthatpastactionshaveaninfluenceonthepresent—andthereisapatterntohowthatinfluenceworksout—butthepresentmomentisalsoshapedbyyourpresentactions,yourpresentdecisions,andyouhavesomefreedominshapingthosepresentdecisions.It’spreciselythisunderstandingofkammathatallowsyoutodevelopskills.

AsIwasexplainingthistothemeditators,Ikeptgettingblanklooks.Ifoundoutlaterthattheyhadbeentaughtthatmeditationwasnotaboutdoinganythingatall.You’renotsupposedtodoinmeditation,justbe.Butthatsetsyouupforallkindsofproblems,becauseifyou’regoingtounderstandconcentrationasyouattainit,youhavetounderstanditasakindofaction.Otherwiseyouhitsomenon-dualstatesandyouthinkyou’vebecomeonewiththenon-dualityatthebasisofallreality.Andthenyou

104

getstuck.Butifyouseethateven“non-dual”isaperception,afabrication,anaction,thenyoucantakeitapart.

Sotheteachingsonaction,onkamma,aredirectlyrelevanttohowwemeditate.First,there’sthebasicprincipleofdevelopingaskill:Youlookatyouractionsand

noticetheeffectthattheyhave,bothimmediateandlong-term.ThinkoftheBuddha’sinstructionstoRahula.Beforeyouact,askyourself:What’syourintention?—because,afterall,theintentionisthekamma.Itdeterminesthequalityofthekamma.Ifyouexpectthattheactionisgoingtoharmyourselforothers,don’tdoit.Ifyoudon’tforeseeanyharm,goaheadanddoit.Whileyou’reacting,lookfortheresultsthatarecomingimmediately,becausesometimessomeoftheresultsdocomerightaway.Youputyourfingeronastove,andit’snotgoingtowaituntilthenextlifetimebeforeitburns.Othertimes,though—aswhenyouplantaseed—youwon’tseetheresultsuntilalatertime,soyou’vegottolookforthoselong-termresults,too,afteryou’vefinishedtheaction.Ifyouseetheactionisamistakewhileyou’redoingit,youstop.Ifyouseethatitwasamistakeafteryoudidit,youresolvenottorepeatit.That’showyoulearnanyskill.

Andit’snotthecasethattheBuddhaleavesyoutoexploreeverything.Hegivesadviceonthingsnottodounderanycircumstances.Youdon’twanttobreaktheprecepts.Youdon’twanttoengageinwrongspeech—notonlyinlyingbutalsoindivisivespeech,harshspeech,idlechatter.Andyouavoidgreed,illwill,andtheviewthatyouractionsdon’tyieldresults,don’tmakeadifference.Thosepreceptsareprinciplesyoudon’thavetotest.Justusethem.Butyoufindtherearealotofotherthingsthatyoudohavetotestinpractice.Asyougetmoreandmoresensitivetotheimpactofyouractions,youkeeplookingforsubtlerandsubtlerformsofharmthattheymightbecausing.

Butit’simportanttounderstandwhat“harm”meanshere.AstheBuddhasaid,ifyoubreaktheprecepts,you’reharmingyourself.It’sinteresting.Ifyoukillotherpeople,killotheranimals,hesaid,you’rereallydoingharmtoyourself.Theygetkilledonce,butyoumayhavetoendurealong,longtimeofsufferingbecauseofthataction.Ifyouwanttoharmotherpeople,hesaid,yougetthemtobreakthepreceptsbecause,afterall,they’reagents,too.They’reengaginginactionsandthey’regoingtobeexperiencinghappinessorpainbasedontheiractions.

Sowhenyou’rethinkingthoughtsofgoodwillforyourself,you’rebasicallythinking:“MayIactinaskillfulwaysoIcancreatethecausesforhappiness.”Andyouthinkthesameforotherpeople:“Maytheyactinskillfulways,too.”Andthat’sathoughtyoucanhaveevenforpeoplewhohavebeendestructive,horrible,andcruel.Yourgoodwillforthemexpressesitselfthatway:“Maytheyunderstandthecausesfortruehappiness,andhavethestrengthandwillingnesstoactonthem.”

Buttheimportantprincipleisthatyou’reworkingondevelopingskills:learninghow

105

tobemoreskillfulinhowyoudothings,moreskillfulinhowyousaythings,moreskillfulinhowyouthink,howyouorderyourmind.

Andthisiswherekammacomesintothemeditation,particularlywhenyouengageindirectedthoughtandevaluation.Somepeoplesaythatwhenyougetinthefirstjhana,thedirectedthoughtandevaluationarejustanunfortunatewobblyorunsteadypartoftheconcentration,butactuallythey’retheworkofrightresolve.AstheBuddhasaid,noblerightresolveisthedirectedthoughtandevaluationinyourconcentration.Andwhatareyouevaluating?You’reevaluatingyouractions.Yousithereandyouchoosetofocusonthebreath.That’sanintentionrightthere.

Andthenextquestionis:Howdoyoumaintainthatintention?Howdoyoukeepsupportingitwithotherskillfulintentions?Thisiswhereyouhavetodealwiththedifferenttechniquesofhowyougetthemindtosettledown,howyoufocusonthebreath,howyoufocusonthepartsofthebody,whichevertopicyouchooseasyourtheme.Thenyoumakeadjustments,bothinthemindandinthetheme,sothattheyfitsnuglytogether.Thendoyourbesttomaintainthatsnugness,tokeepaninterestinit.Learnhowtoaskquestionsaboutwhatyou’restayingwith.Andoneofthebigquestionsis,towhatextentistherestillsomedisturbanceinthisstateofconcentration?Ifyou’reperceptive,you’llnoticethatthedisturbanceisinwhatyou’redoing.Soistheresomethingthatyou’redoingthatyoucandropandstillstayconcentrated?

Inthebeginning,youdon’twanttodropthingstoofast,becauseyouneedafairamountofdirectedthoughtandevaluationtogeteverythingtogetherandkeepthemtogetherinabalancedway.TheBuddha’simageisofabathman.Bathmeninthosedayswouldprepareyoursoapdoughforyou.Insteadofhavingabarofsoap,theywouldhavesomepowderandthey’dmixitwithwaterandcreateballofdough,likebreaddough.Thenyou’drubthatoveryourbodyasyouwerebathing.Thebathman’sjobwastokneadthewaterintothesoapdoughsothateverythingwaswellmixed.Likebreaddough:Youwanttomakesurethatalltheflourhasbeenmoistened,butyoudon’twantanyexcesswatertodripout.Youwanteverythingjustright.

Sothebathmanhastousediscernmentinworkingthewaterthroughthedough,inthesamewaytheBuddhasaysyouworkthesenseofeaseandwell-being,thesenseofrapture,asitdevelopsinyourconcentration,thoughthebody.Becauseinthenextstep,youwanttobeabletojustsitthereimmersedinthewell-being,asifthebodywerealargelakecooledbyaspringofwaterwellingupfromwithin.Inthiscase,you’renotoutsideofthedough,workingthewaterin.You’reactuallytotallyimmersedinthewater.Thewaterherestandsforpleasure.Andyou’renotgoingtobeabletofeelimmersedinthewaterofpleasureunlessyou’veworkeditthroughthebody.

ThisiswhyAjaanLeetalksaboutthevariousbreathenergiesandbreathchannelsinthebody.Hisinstructionsgiveyousomeideasabouthowyoumightdirectthatsenseofeasethroughthebodyorthinkofitspreadingthroughthebody,toworkitswayaroundanypainsyoumayhave,toworkitswayaroundanysenseofblockage.

106

Then,wheneverythingiswellmoistenedwiththepleasure,youcandropthedirectedthoughtandevaluationbecausethey’rethedisturbancethere.Justallowyourselftobeimmersedinthesenseofease.But,youstillhavetomaintainit.Youstillhavetostaywiththebreath.Otherwise,ifyoujustdriftoffintotheease,youloseyourbalance,youloseyourfocus,andthenyousittherewithoutanyrealclarityoralertness,oryoulosetheconcentrationentirely.

Sothere’sstillacertainamountoftensionrequiredtokeeptheobjectinmind.Remember,you’vegottomaintainthatintentiontostayherewithclarity.Soit’sthesameprinciplethattheBuddhataughttoRahula.Youdosomethingandthenyoulookattheresults,andtheniftheresultsarenotwhatyoulike,youchange.Thisisakindofkamma.It’sgoodtokeepthatinmind,becausesometimesyougetintostatesofnon-duality,orasenseofthebodydisappearing,andyouthinkyou’vehitsomethingcosmic.Butinactuality,you’vejusthitanotherperception.

Theimportantthingisthatyoulearnhowtokeepthatquestioningattitudeinmind:Whereistherestilldisturbance?Andlookforitnotsomuchinthingsoutsidebutintheactionsofthemind.Youseethisespeciallyclearlywhenyou’reworkingwithpain.Therealdisturbancethereisnotthepain.It’sthemind’scommentary,ortheperceptionsyou’rebringingtoit.

TheBuddhahasthattetradinhisbreathmeditationinstructionswherehetalksabouttrainingyourselftobreathe1)withasenseofrapture,2)withasenseofpleasure,3)sensitivetomentalfabrication—i.e.,feelingsandperceptions—andthen,4)calmingmentalfabrication.Thosefirsttwostepsgiveyou,basically,AjaanLee’srecommendationsforhowyoustartworkingwithpain.Theremaybepaininonepartofthebody,butyoufocusongettingasenseofeaseandwell-beinginanotherpart.Thenyouallowtheeaseandwell-beingtospreadthroughthepain,toloosenthingsup.

Then,inthenexttwosteps,you’rebasicallytakingAjaanMahaBoowa’sapproach,whichiswhenyounotice,“Here’sthepain,butwhataretheperceptionsthatmakethatpainamentalissue?”Learnhowtoquestionthem.That’showyoucalmthem.Inotherwords,youreplaceadisturbingperception—onethatsaysthepainhasseizedthebody,thepainhatesme,thepainisafterme,whatevercrazyideasyoumayhaveaboutthepain—withaperceptionthat’slessdisturbing.Andalotofyourcrazyperceptionsarehiddenbehindsomemoresane-soundingideas.Eventheideathatthepainhasinvadedyourleg:Actually,yourlegisstillaleg,andyoursensationofthelegisjustearth,water,wind,andfire:solidity,coolness,energy,andwarmth.Thepainissomethingdifferent.Thelegstaysasaleg,butthepainkeepschanging,comingandgoing.Andwhenitcomes,it’snotcomingatyou.Assoonasyoudetectamomentofpain,youcanperceiveitasgoingaway,goingaway.Eachmomentofpain,asitappears,isalreadygoingawayfromyou.Ifyoucanlearnhowtousethoseperceptions,they’recalming.Themindcanthenstaywiththepainandnotfeelpainedbyit.

Sohereagain,it’saquestionofyouractions.Theperceptionsyouchooseare

107

determiningwhetherornotyou’regoingtosufferfromthingshereinthepresentmoment.Alltoooften,wedon’tthinkwehaveachoice.Wehaveouroldsetofperceptions.We’reequippedwithperceptionswe’vepickedupfromwho-knows-whereandwho-knows-when,andformostofusthat’swhatrealityis.ButtheBuddhasaysthatyoucanquestionthem,replacethemwithnewones,andthey’llhaveadifferentimpactonthemind.

Soinalltheseways,youhavetokeeprememberingthatasyoumeditateyou’reengagedinkamma,you’reengagedinactions,andtherearethingsyoucandomoreskillfullythatgiveresultsintheimmediatepresentandonintothefuture.

Weallwanthappiness,butourproblemisthatweactundertheinfluenceofignorance.Wedon’tseehowourperceptionsandthoughtsareshapingreality.Allweseeistheproduct,andwedon’tlikeit.Sometimeswelikeit,sometimeswedon’t,butitseemstobelikeacrapshoot.Youneverknowwhat’sgoingtocomeup—andthat’sbecauseyou’renotpayingcarefulattentiontowhatyou’redoing,inyourphysical,verbal,andmentalactions.Butthemeditationgivesyouasensitivitytoyourmentalactionswhileyoumeditate,andtoallthreekindsofactionasyougothroughtheday.

Andtheteachingonkammaremindsyouthatyoucanchangewhatyou’redoingrightnow.Youdohavethatfreedomofchoice.Theactofmeditation—bymakingthemindmoresensitive,moremindful,moreinquisitive—putsyouinapositionwhereyoucantakemoreandmoreadvantageofthatfreedom,forthesakeofthehappinessyouwant.

108

Cut,Cut,CutDecember2,2016

Thechantswehaveintheeveningsfocusonveryordinarythings—partsofthebody,food,clothing,shelter,medicine;thefactthatwe’regoingtogetsick,growold,die.Allverybasicstuff.Nothingaboutemptiness,nothingaboutinterconnectedness—nobigabstractions,justconcretedetails.

There’sapurposeinthat.It’storemindusthatifwewanttounderstandourminds,wehavetostripthingsdowntothebasicdetails,keepthingsassimpleaspossible.

Eventhemeditationissimplicityitself:Staywithyourbreath.ComenextweektohearaDhammatalk,anditwillbeaboutstayingwiththebreath.Berightwithwhat’spresentinfrontofyou,anddon’tletthingsgetcomplicated.

That’ssomethingwe’reverygoodat—weletthingsgetverycomplicatedinourminds.That’soneofthemeaningsofpapañca.Wecanaddallkindsofdetails,allkindsofinsandoutstoourthinking.Butthattakesusfurtherandfurtherawayfromtherealissues:Whatarewedoingrightnowthat’scausingussuffering?Youhavetolearnhowtolookrightatyourownactions,andthatrequiresyoutostripthingsdown,makethingsassimpleaspossible.

Thisisoneofthereasonswhytheajaansgointotheforest,togoofftobeontheirown.Theystripawayasmanyissuesastheycan,tobeconfrontedjustbythebasicfactsoflife,thebasicfactsofsurvival.Ifyou’regoingtoliveintheforest,youneedtohavefood,clothing,andshelter—verybasic,minimalstuff.It’spossiblethatyou’regoingtogetsick,soyou’regoingtoneedmedicine,too.Andwhatdoyoudowhenthosethingsarehardtocomeby?You’rethrownbackonyourownmind.

Ofcourse,ifgoingintotheforestwererequiredforawakening,weshouldn’tbehere;weshouldbeoffsomeplaceelse.Butitturnsoutthatalotoftheajaans,manyoftheonesyouoftendon’thearabout,actuallygainedtheirexperienceofawakeninginmonasteries.Soit’snotnecessarythatyoustripeverythingdownoutside,butyoudohavetolearntostripthingsdowninyourownmind.

Thisisthetrickoflivinginamonastery,livinginacommunitylikethis:notgettingalltiedupinknots.Learninghowtokeepthingsbasic,keepthingssimple,inyourownmindatleast.Theremaybeotherissuesgoingonoutside—therealwaysseemstobeaworkprojectofsomekind,andthere’stheconstantworkinthekitchen.Butcomparedtotheworldoutthere,thisisallprettysimple.Ofcourse,wecanmakeitaselaborateaswewantinourminds,butthat’sagainstthepurpose.Thepurposeistokeepthingssimple,keepthingsbasic.Andthemoreyoucanstripawaytheissuesoftheday,the

109

better.Whenyousitandcloseyoureyes,youwanttohaveallthosethingsjustgoaway.

Remindyourself:It’sjustyousittingherewiththebreath.Awarenesswithbreath.Geteventhenarrativeof“you”outofthewayasmuchaspossible.Thatmeansthatyoudon’twantthenarrativetobuildupinthecourseoftheday.Youwanttobeabletolearnhowtodisentanglethingsastheyentanglethemselves,sothatthere’snotalotofdisentanglingtodowhenyousitdown.Ifacommentcomesyourwayinthecourseoftheday,remembertheBuddha’sinstructions:Asoundhasmadecontactattheear.Youcanknowwhetherit’spleasantorunpleasant,andifyoujustleaveitatthat,thenthereareveryfewissues.Andthefewertheissuesthatyoucreatearoundthethingsoutside,thenthefewerissuestherearetoclutterupyourmindasyousitdown.

Soitispossibletogainawakeninginamonastery.Wedon’thavetogooutandlivealone.Butitrequiresatalent—thetalentofstrippingthingsdown,takingthingsapartinthemind,sothatthingscanbeassimpleaspossible.

Thisisoneofthereasonswhywetrainthemindinconcentrationinordertogaininsight.You’refocusedonverysimplethingshereinthepresentmoment:breath,awareness.Andyou’llfindoutthattherearelayerstothebreathandtherearelayerstotheawareness.AstheBuddhasaid,younoticewhenthere’sanelementoffabrication,ashecallsit,whichistheelementyouaddthroughyourintentionstocreateaspecificexperienceoutof,say,thesimplefactthatyou’resittingherewatchingthebreath.There’ssomebodilyfabrication,whichisthebreathitself;there’salittlebitofinternaldiscussion,whichisverbalfabrication;andtherearesomementalfabrications,whicharethefeelingsandtheperceptions—thelabelsyouputonthings.Thoseareallhere.Butthey’reallherearoundsomethingreallysimple.It’swhenyoukeepthingssimplethatyouseethingsinactionthatyouwouldn’thaveseenotherwise.

Youcanstarttakingthelayersapart.Assoonasyouseethatyou’readdinganintentionalelementtowhatyou’redoingrighthere,rightnow,youcanaskyourself,“AmIaddingitinawaythat’scalming?OramIaddingitinawaythat’sstirringthingsup?HowcanIdoitinawaythat’scalming?”Youbegintoseethatsomeoftheactivitiesofthemindaroundthebreathareunnecessarytokeepitstill,soyoudropthose.Somelayersofthebreathseemcoarseandcrude,soyoudropthose.Allowthebreathtocalmdown.Andasthingsgrowcalm,youcanseethebasicelementsevenmoreclearly.There’sanintentionhere,andyouhavetheactofattention.Andthereareperceptions—allthesethingsthatweusetocreatehugestories.Nowthey’recenteredononething.Andwhenthey’recenteredononething,youcanseethemastheyhappen.

Duringmyfirstyearasamonk,stayingatWatAsokaramatthebeginningoftherainsretreat,alotoftheyoungmonkswerecominginforjustathree-monthordination.Heretheywereataforestmonastery,andyettheirparentshadboughtthemcheaprobesdownatthestore,thecolorofFantaorange.Andsothefirstthingtheyoung

110

monksdid,assoonastheygotordained,wastogodowntothedyeingshedanddyetheirrobesamoreforest-monk-likecolor.Andforacoupleofweeksthatwasallanybodycouldtalkabout:whichmixtureofredororangeworkedbest;howaboutalittlebitofgreen;howmuchdarkbrownyouwantedtoadd;whatwasthewaytogetthemostimpressivecolorforyourrobes.Someofthemonkswerenotsatisfiedwithwhattheygotthefirsttimearound,sotheywouldgobackanddyetherobesagain.Andyoucouldseehowpeoplecouldtakesomethingverysimplelikethatandmakeitabigissue.

ThemoreIwasfocusedonmybreath,themoreIcouldseehowmuchpeoplewereaddingtotheproblem.Fortunately,whenIwasordainedIdidnothaveFantaorangerobes.Ihadalreadywell-dyedrobes,soIdidn’thavetogetinvolvedintheprocess.Butwatchingthem,itmademethinkofanexperimentIhadreadaboutyearsbefore.Theyhadtakenamalepigeonandputitinaboxwithafemalepigeonandclockedittoseehowlongitwouldtaketobeginitsmatingdance.Thentheytookthefemalepigeonoutandputamalepigeonin,inherplace,andclockedthefirstmalepigeontoseehowlongitwouldtakethedancetobegin.Andsureenough,itbeganitsdancewiththemalepigeon.Ittookalittlebitlonger,butitwoulddoit.Thentheytookthemalepigeonoutandtheyputadecoyin.Thistimeittookalittlebitlonger,butthenagain,thefirstpigeonstarteddoinghismatingdance.Andthentheygotobjectsthatwerelessandlessandlesslikepigeons,tilltheyhadaredball.Andagain,itwouldtakealittlebitlongereachtime,buthewouldendupdoinghismatingdance.Thenfinallytheytookeverythingoutofthebox—andthepigeonwasjustthereinthebox,alone—toseewhatitwoulddo.Andeventuallyitstartedfocusinginononeofthecornersoftheboxandstarteddoingitsmatingdancetothecorner.

Whatthatshowed,ofcourse,isthatmanyofouractivitieshaveverylittletodowithwhat’sactuallythereoutside,andalottodowithwhatwe’refabricatingfromwithin.Sothesimpleryoucanmaketheoutside,themoreyoucanseewhat’sgoingoninside,toseehowmuchisactuallybeingaddedfrominside.Andifyoucanstartstrippingitaway—seeingthatit’sridiculous,tryingtomatewiththecornerofabox—youcangainsomeinsightintoyourhabits.

Thisiswherewedifferfrompigeons.Thepigeoncouldn’treflectonitself,butwecanreflectonourselvestoseewherewe’readdingalotofunnecessarydrama,unnecessarycomplexitytoourlives.Wecanstartunravelingit.

Inthebeginning,it’slikeunravelingabig,tangledmassofstringoramassofyarn.Ittakesalotofpatiencetopulloutjustonelittlestrand.Butasyoukeeppullingoutthestrands,pullingthemout,pullingthemout,pullingthemout,thewholethingstartsgettingalotlessentangled,untilyoucanseetheactofintentionveryclearlyinthemind.Alltooofteninournormalwayofliving,ourknowledgeofourintentionsisthird-orfourth-hand.Somethinghasmadethedecisioninsideandweseemtoknowaboutitonlylater.Butasyoustripdownthevariouslayersofperceptionandinner

111

conversationsinthemind,andgetthevariouslayersofbreathenergiescalmeddown,calmeddown,thenyougetmoreintouchwithwhatisactuallymakingthechoiceinthemind,whatactisdoingthis.Whereisit?Whatdoesitsay?

Asyougetcloserandclosertotherealthing,youbegintorealizethatthebasicmessagesarevery,verysimple.It’swhentheygetsentupthroughthebureaucracythattheygetelaborated.Butactually,itallstartsverysimply:“What’snext?What’snext?”Inotherwords,whereareyougoingtofocusyourattentionnow?Andwhatareyougoingtodowithit?Andwhenyouactuallyseetheintentionortheactofattentioninaction,that’swhenyoucanstartasking,“Istheresomethingelse?Isthereanotherwayofdoingthis,insteadofmakingtheseincessant,idioticcommentsallthetime?Isthereastateofmindthatdoesn’thavetobedisturbedbythem?Canyoustopthemorallowthemtostop?”Andifyouhittherightspot,everythingbeginstounravel.

Sodoyourbesttokeepthingsassimpleaspossible.Stripthingsdownasmuchasyoucan,evenasyou’resittingheremeditating.Yournarrativeofhowanhourofmeditationshouldgo:Canyoudropthat?Justbewiththisbreath,thisbreath.Anyotherfilamentsofdistractingthoughts:Canyoujustdropthem,dropthem,dropthemaway?

Iknowoneajaanwhohadanimageofaknifeinhismind.Anystrandofthoughtthatwouldbegintoconnectinhismind,hewouldthinkoftheknifecuttingit.Evendealingwiththebody:Allthesensationsandassumptionsthatkepthissenseofthebodyconnected,hewouldcut,cut,cut.Withthebody,someofthesensationsareactuallyphysicalsensationsconnectingtooneanother,butthere’sanawfullotofmentalactivitythatgoesintoconnectingyoursenseofthebodysothatit’scoherent.Canyouthinkofjustcutting—cut,cut,cut—throughallthoseconnections?Whenyoucutthrough,whenyoustripthingsdown,thenjustthebasicelementsarethere,andyouseethattherealproblemsarethereinthebasicelements.

Thisisoneofthereasons,asIsaid,whywehavethosechantsthataresobasic.Becausetheykeepyoufocusedonwheretherealissuesare.

112

APokerMindMay29,2017

Whenyousettledownwiththebreath,you’retryingtobringthreethingstogether:yoursenseofthebody,thefeelingofpleasure,andyourawareness.ThosearethefirstthreeframesofreferencethattheBuddhatalksaboutinestablishingmindfulness.Thefourthframeofreference,dhammas,isbasicallylistsofqualitiesandotherthingstowatchoutfor,toadjust,tohelpbringthosefirstthreethingstogethermoresnugly.Theyincludealistofhindrances:Thosearequalitiesyouwanttoabandon.Thefactorsforawakeningarequalitiesyouwanttodevelop.Thefetterswithregardtothesixsensesaretobeabandonedaswell.Thefiveclinging-aggregatesareactivitiestobecomprehended.Andthentherearethefournobletruths,whichapplytheirdutiestowhatyou’redoingrightnow.Forinstance,yourmaindutyrightnowistodevelopconcentrationbecausethat’spartofthepath.

Sointhebeginning,wetakethefirstthreeframesofreference—body,feeling,mind—andwetrytobringthemtogether.Theymaynotfitquitetogetheratfirst,whichiswhywehavetodoalotofdirectedthoughtandevaluation:figuringoutwhat’swrongwiththebreath,what’swrongwiththemind.Andwhenthebreathdoesgetcomfortable,thenextquestioniswhatyoucandotomaintainthatsenseofeaseandthenletitseepthroughthebody.Youwanttoendupwithasenseofpleasuresuffusingthebodyandawarenesssuffusingthebody,sothattheyallbecomeone.That’swhenyoucanreallysettlein.

You’vegottomaintainthatsenseofawareness-and-breath-and-pleasureuntilthepleasurestartsfeelinggross.Notgrossinthesenseofbeingdisgusting,butjustnotsubtleenough.Youwantsomethingmoresubtle.Beforethepleasurefeelsgross,you’vegottherapturethatstartsfeelingabittoomuch.Youletthatdieaway.Thenyouletthepleasuredieaway,sothatyou’vejustgotbreath,equanimity,andawareness.Andthenthein-and-outbreathingwillgraduallystop.

Therewillstillbebreathenergyinthebody.Infact,it’stheconnectednessofthebreathenergyinthebodythatallowsyourin-and-outbreathingtostop.Youdon’tforceittostop.It’sjustthatwheneverythingissowellconnectedinthebody,there’snofeltneedtobreathe.Sometimesthiswillbestartlingwhenyousuddenlyrealizeyouhaven’tbeenbreathingforawhile.Butasyougetmoreandmoreusedtoit,yourealizethatyoudon’tneedto.Whenthebodyneedstobreathe,it’llbreathe.You’renotsuppressinganything.You’rejustbeingverystillandverybalanced.

It’satthispointwhereyoursenseofthe“knower”comestothefore.Asthemovementofthein-and-outbreathing—whichiswhatdefinesyoursenseofthebody

113

—getslessandlessandless,you’rejustleftwithacloudoflittlesensationdroplets.There’savaguesenseofthatcloudashavingabodyshape,butit’snotverywelldefined.AsAjaanFuangwouldadvisehisstudents,youhavetowaituntilthatpointbeforeyoureallystartthinkingaboutjustbeingwiththesenseofknowingonitsown.Priortothatpoint,youcanhaveasenseoftheknower,ofwhat’ssimplyawareofthings,butit’snotgoingtobestable.

Asyougothroughallthebeginningstepsofconcentration,you’retryingtogetaperceptionthatyoucanholdonto.Atfirst,therewillbegapsintheperception.Butaslongasthere’ssomethingobviousthatyoucanfocusontosustaintheperception,youcanpaperoverthegaps.Forexample,you’vegotyourbreathasyourmainobject.You’rethinkingaboutthebreathandiftheperceptionhappenstolapseforabit,thebreathisstilltherecomingin,goingout.Soyouapplytheperceptionagain.It’swhatkeepsyouthere.Thetwohelpeachotheralong.

Butifyou’regoingtofocusontheknoweratthatpoint,youdon’thaveanythingtofocusonbuttheperceptionitself.Whenthere’sagapintheperception,thefocalpointisgone.Soyouneedpracticeinlearninghowtomakeyourperceptionsmoreandmorecontinuous.Thisiswhatmindfulnessisfor.Itstitchestheseperceptionstogether,sothatyougettothepointwheretheperceptionsareconstantregardlessofwhetherthebreathisgoingtobethereornot.That’swhenyoucanletthebreathgo.

Butit’snotthecasethatyoudon’ttrytodevelopasenseoftheobserverassomethingseparatefromearlyon,simplythatit’snotgoingtobeasprominent.It’snotgoingtobeasobvious.Asstable.Andit’snotgoingtohithomeinthesameway.Onlywhenthemindhassettleddowntothepointwherethebreathhasstoppedandyoursenseofthebodyisbeginningtodissolveandyou’vejustgottheawarenessleft,willitreallyhityou.Therewillcomearealizationatsomepointthat“Thisismyawareness.”

We’renottalkingaboutsomethingfarawayinaDhammabooksomeplace.It’srighthereandit’sveryclearandveryobvious.It’sliketuningintoaradiostation.Inthebeginning,therewillbesomestaticbecauseyouhaven’ttunedquiteprecisely.Butwhenyou’rewelltunedandtheradioislockedintothesignal,thestaticisgone.

Butyoudon’thavetowaituntilthatpointtogetatleastsomeuseoutofthisideaofthe“knower.”Itstartsveryearlyon,aswhentheBuddhatalksaboutdealingwithunpleasantwordsfromotherpeople.Ifsomeonesayssomethingnasty,justremindyourselfthatanunpleasantsoundhasmadecontactattheear,andseeifyoucanleaveitatthat.Youdon’tstitchitintostoriesaboutwhothepersonisorhowbadtheirintentionsareorhowmuchyoufeelhurtbytheirwordsorwhatever.There’sjustthecontactattheearandthenyoudropit.You’reobservingwhat’sthere,butyou’retrainingyourselfnottoaddanythingmoretowhat’sthere.That’stheroleoftheobserver.

Youcantrytolearntodothatwithpainfulfeelingsaswell.Thefeelingisthere,but

114

canyouallowittobetherewithoutalotofcommentary,alotofcomplaints?Cantherebejustthesensationwithoutanythoughtsabouthowlongthissensationhasbeenthereorhowmuchlongerit’sgoingtobehere?You’renotdraggingyourselfdown.Justnote:“Thereitis.”Notethatthissenseoftheknowerwillwaverbecauseitdoesn’tyethavethesamesolidityasitwouldifyouwerecomingoutofstrongstatesofconcentration.Butit’shelpfultokeepinmindthatthisissomethingtoaspireto.

It’slikehavingagoodpokerface.Whatevercomesup,you’renotfazedandyoudon’tshowanysignsofbeingfazed.Callitapokermind:Whatevercomesup,youfigurethatit’sallequal.Partofyourmindmaysay,“No,it’snotequalatall,”butforthetimebeingyoucanborrowsomeoftheBuddha’sdiscernment.Thisiswhatthestrengthorthetreasureoflearningis.We’reborrowingtheBuddha’sdiscernmenttohelpuswhenwecan’tcreatediscernmentofourown.

Partofthisliesinlearninghowtoseefeelingsofpleasureandpain,astheycomein,asbeingequal,ashavingequalvalue,sothattheminddoesn’tgetturnedbythesethings.Whatyou’redoingisdevelopingpatienceandendurance,togetherwithequanimity,andlearninghowtoapplytheminareaswhereyouhadn’tappliedthembefore.You’realsolearninghowtotalkyourselfintoseeingthesequalitiesasgoodthingstohave.Partofthemindmaycomplainthatyou’rebeingimpassive,dull,notstandingupforyourrights,notdefendingyourself,whatever.ButyouhavetolearnhowtosayNotothosevoices.Learninghowtobejustwithwhat’sthereandtoletitgoasitpassesaway:Thisisaskillyou’regoingtoneedtodevelop.Soworkatitoutsideofthemeditation,too.

WhenIwasstayingwithAjaanFuang,hewouldtestmetoseeifmyconcentrationwasgettingbetter.Hewouldsaythingsthatheknewwouldusuallygetmeupset.Andinthebeginning,Ididn’trealizewhatwashappeningandI’dgetupset.ButthenIrealized,“Oh,he’stestingmetoseehowwellIcanmaintainasenseofbeingimpassiveandsolidinthefaceofwhatever.”Andtheadvantageofthatisthatyoulearnhownottogetfazedbycriticism,especiallyfromthepeopleyourespect.Thisdoesn’tmeanthatyoubrushitoff,simplythatyoudon’treactemotionally.Thatallowsyoutolookatthecriticismtoseeexactlywhereit’sright:“HowcanIbenefitfromthecriticism?”

ThenyoucandeveloptheattitudethatAjaanLeetalksabout,whereyoucantakeanythingthattheworldthrowsatyouandseethatit’sgotitsgoodsideaswellasitsbad.Nomatterhowgooditmayseemintermsoftheworld,ithasitsbadside.Wealth,fame,praise:Thosethingsyou’vegottowatchoutfor.Atthesametime,thethingsthattheworldsaysarebadhavetheirgoodsideaswell.Materialloss,lossofstatus,criticism:Youcanlearnfromloss,youcanlearnfromcriticism,butyoulearnbestwhenyou’renotreacting,whenyoucandevelopthissenseofjustknowingthatwhatever’sthereissimplythere.You’renotgettingcarriedawaybyalltheembroiderythatyoutendtoaddtothesethings.

Sobringthatattitudetoyourmeditation.Ithelpsalot.Tobeginwith,whenthings

115

aren’tgoingwell,youdon’tgetupset.Youtellyourself,“Well,thisisajobthat’sgoingtotakesometime.I’vebeenfollowingmydefilementsforalongtime.I’vebeenfollowingmycravings.They’vebeenleadingmearoundbythenoseforwhoknowshowlong.It’sgoingtotakeawhiletoundothosehabits.”

Then,asthingsstartgoingwell,makesureyoudon’tgetexcited.Alltoooften,ithappensthatthemindfinallysettlesdown,itfeelsreallygood,yougetexcited—andyou’velostit.Somepeoplewillsay,“Well,it’sbecauseI’vebeentryingtoohardorIlikeittoomuch.”It’snotthatyoulikeittoomuch.Afterall,it’swhatyouwanttohappeninthemeditation.It’sjustthatyouhavetolearnhownottobesoreactive.Say:“Oh.There’sthat.Oh.There’sthat.”Ifyougetexcitedaboutalittlebitofconcentration,justthinkofwhatwouldhappenifsomethingevenbetterthanthatcamealong.You’dgetreallyexcitedandlosethat,too.

Sooneoftheskillsyouhavetodevelopasbetterandbetterthingsdevelopinthemeditationistosay,“Oh.There’sthis,”andholdthemindinchecksothatyoucanobservewhathappensafter“this.”Andyoulearnhowtoobserveitbetter.

ThisiswhattheBuddhatoldRahula—tomakehismindlikeearth—fromtheverybeginning.Whatevergetspouredontheearth,theearthdoesn’treact.Youwanttohavethatsamequalityofsolidnon-reactivity:That’swhat’smeantbybeingwiththeobserver,beingwiththeknower.It’saconstructyou’veconstructedoutofyourperceptions—it’snottheawakenedmindoranything—butit’ssomethingyouwanttodevelopasoneofthefruitsofyourconcentration,sothatwhateverhappens,youhavethisplacetoresortto.

Thenitbecomesagoodbasisforyourdiscernment,becauseyourdiscernmentisgoingtobeseeingconnectionsbetweencausesandeffects,andsometimesyou’llbeseeingconnectionsyoudon’tlikeatall.Inotherwords,youseesomethingreallystupidyou’redoingandyoushouldhaveknownbetter.Nowyourealize,it’snotnecessaryanditisstupid.Andifyoudon’tgetupsetbythatfact,thenyoucanletitgo.

Ultimately,thereisanotherkindofconsciousnessthatliesontheothersideofconcentrationandthatcomesasaresultofthediscernment.That’ssomethingelseentirely.Thisisapointthatsooftengetsconfused.Peoplethinkyougetthissenseofjusttheknowerorjust“beingtheknowing”andthatsomehowyou’vereachedtheunconditioned.It’sstillvery,veryconditioned,becauseyou’vegotanameforitandyoucanstaywithitonlyaslongasyoustickwiththename:theperceptionyouapplytoit.

TherewasaWesternmonkwhoaskedAjaanChahaboutthisonetime.Everybodythereatthemonasterywasassumingthattheknowerandtheawakenedawarenesswerethesamething.Sothismonk,wholikedtoaskquestions,askedAjaanChahpointblank,andAjaanChahsaid,“No,ofcoursenot.They’retwoverydifferentthings.”

Soit’simportanttokeepthatdistinctioninmind,andtodevelopthissenseoftheknowerasoneofyourskillsasameditator,sothatyoucanmaintainapokermind.You

116

canbeimpassiveandwatchthingsclearlyforwhattheyare,andthenwatchclearlyasthingsmovefromonesteptothenextstepinthemind.Thisrequiresthatyounotgetexcitedbythefirststepandmissalltheonesthatcomeafter.

Sotrytomakethisknowerlikeearth,inthesensethatit’snon-reactive.Youcanmakeitlikespace,inthesensethatanythingcangothroughitwithoutdisturbingitandwithoutleavingatrace.Yetatthesametime,you’renotdullandunperceptivelikeaclodofearth,andyou’renotspacey.You’reveryperceptivebutunmovedbythings.Onlythencanyoureallyseethingsforwhattheyareandhowtheyact,tothepointwhereyoucanworkyourwaypastthem.

117

FocusedonResultsMarch1,2016

Sometimesyouhearthatwhenyoupracticeyoushouldn’tbefocusedongettingresults.Theextremeversionofthatideaisthatmeditationshouldbetotallypurposeless,totallyuseless.Ofcourse,whenyouhearpeoplesayingthattheymeditatewithoutanypurpose,withoutanysensethatit’sgoingtobegoodforanything,they’rehopingforaresult:They’rehopingtoimpressyou.

Everyactionhasaresult.Andweactforthesakeofresults.Thequestionofbeingfocusedongettingresultscomesdowntothefactthatthereareskillfulwaysandunskillfulwaysofbeingfocusedthatway.Soit’sgoodtoknowthedistinction.

Afterall,theBuddhasaidthatwisdombeginswiththequestion,“What,whenIdoit,willleadtomylong-termwelfareandhappiness?”That’slookingforaresultrightthere.Long-termresults,lastingresults:That’swhatwewant.Thequestionis,“Howdowegetthoselastingresults?”

Twowrongwaysofbeingfocusedonresultsthatgetinthewayare,one,wantingwhateveryoudotogivegoodresultsand,two,wantingtohavetheresultsrightaway.

Thefirstcaseissimplyakindofnarcissism:Youdecidethatyouwanttodosomethingandyouwanttheresultstobegood,yougetupsetwhentheresultsaren’tgood,andyoucomplain.Oryoutrytogeteverybodytoagreethat,yes,thosereallyaregoodresults.Butyoudon’tlearnanythingthatway.Youjusttrytoforceyourwillonthingsand,ofcourse,thingsaregoingtopushback.Youcankeepitupforawhile,buttherecomesapointwhereitallbreaksdown—andyousuffer.

Thesecondunskillfulwayofbeingfocusedonresultsisbasicallyimpatience.Wedosomethinggoodandwewanttheresultsrightaway,withouttakingintoconsiderationthefactthatwe’vebeendoingthingsunskillfullyforalongtime,andsomeofthosethingsaregoingtobegivingtheirresults,sothatthenewandtheoldaregoingtobemixeduptogether.Sowehavetolearnhowtoacceptthat.Sometimesittakesawhiletodeveloptheskillthatweneed.Andittakesawhile,oncewe’vefinallygottheskill,fortheresultsreallytogetsolidanddependable.

Sowhenyoufindyourselffrustratedinthepractice,stepbackabitandaskyourself,“Areyoubeingtooimpatient?”Now,patiencedoesn’tmeanthatyoujustsitbackandbepassive.Youhavetoactivelydogoodthings,totrytoworkondevelopingyourskill.Butyouwanttolearnthepowersofendurancethatallowyoutodevelopsomethingthat’sgoingtotakeawhile.We’reinthisforthelongterm.Andwehavetolearnhowtodealwithlongfallowperiodswhenwe’reputtingineffort,andthepracticeissomething

118

we’redoingeveryday,everyday,andyettheresultsaren’tquitewhatwewant.Andoneoftheimportantkeystohavingpatienceislearningtohaveagoodsenseof

humoraboutallthis.There’saninterestingpassageinSlaughterhouseFive,wherethemaincharacter,an

Americanprisonerofwar,visitstheBritishintheirprisoner-of-warcamp.Andit’saverydifferentcamp.TheAmericansaresittingaroundmopinganddepressedandprettyhopeless,evenplottingrevengeononeanother,whereastheBritishareallwell-shaven,allwell-looked-after.Theyputonplaystoentertainthemselves.Inotherwords,theylearnhowtofindwhatisenjoyableinthemidstofalong-termproject,evenwhentheoddsseemagainstthem.

YouhearthatstoryaboutShackletonandhiscrewgoingdowntothecoastofAntarctica,notevenmakingittothecoast:gettingcaughtintheice,andtheirshipgetscrushed.ThemenhavetomaketheirwayallthewayacrosstotheislandofGeorgia.Ittakesalongtime.

Andhedoesn’tloseanybody.Ashesaidlater,alotofithadtodowiththefactthateverybodywasdisciplined.Theyknewwhathadtobedoneand,eventhoughthingslookedhopeless,theyjustdidit.Theyknewthatiftherewasanyhopeatall,itwoulddependontheiractions.SoShackletonapparentlywasreallygoodatkeepingpeople’sspiritsupasbestaspossible.

OneofmyfavoritestoriesofshipsbeingcaughtintheicewasacasewheretheywerelookingfortheFranklinexpedition,whichhadbeenabigdisasterinanattempttofindtheNorthwestPassage.Shipaftershipwassenttofindatleasttheremainsoftheexpedition,ifnotthelivingmen.

OneoftheshipssentoutinsearchwentaroundCapeHornandupthroughtheBeringStrait,toattacktheNorthwestPassagefromthewest.TheygotstuckintheicenorthofAlaskaandhadtowinterover.

Sowhatdidtheydo?Theship’scaptaindecidedtoteachallthemenhowtoplaybilliards.Thatwasbackinthedayswhenbilliardswasanupperclasssport.Buthesaid,“Well,forgetthat.Geteverybodyonboardplayingbilliards.”Sotheywentoutontheiceandbuiltabilliardtableoutofice.Andhetaughteverybodyhowtopaybilliards.That’showtheykeptthemselvesentertainedthroughouttheArcticwinter.

YoureadabouttheFram,theNorwegianshipthatwasstuckintheice.Theyactuallywouldprintalittlenewspaperwithentertainingstories.Peoplewouldputonplaysandthere’dbeentertainmentonaregularbasis.

Allofwhichshowsthatifyou’regoingtogothroughfallowperiods,youhavetokeepyourselfentertained.Ifyoursenseofhumorisgood,andyouseetheironyinyoursituation,whateveritis,thatattitudecankeepyoubuoyedup,sothateventhoughtheresultsaren’tcomingasfastasyouwantthemto,yougiveyourselfthestrengthtokeeponputtingintheeffort.

119

There’sasimilarpassageinJosephandhisBrothers,whereJosephhasbeencaught,accusedofanattemptedadultery,andthrowninprison.Sohedecidestoentertainhimselfbyinterpretingdreams.Hestartsbyinterpretinghisowndreams,andtheninterpretingthedreamsofhiswardens.

Eventually,ofcourse,thePharaohhashisgreatdream.AndJoseph’stalentasadreaminterpreterultimatelygetshimbroughtintothepresenceofthePharaoh,andhegivestherightinterpretation.Sowhatstartedoutasapastimeactuallybecamehiskeytogettingout.

Youlookattheforestmasters.Allofthemhavereallygoodsenseofhumor,thekindofhumorwheretheycouldlaughinagood-naturedwayattheirownmistakes.That’swhathelpedthemovercomenotonlyimpatience,butalsowhatevertracesofnarcissismtheymighthavehad.Theyneededthatsenseofhumorbecausethey’dbestuckintheforest—andit’snotthecasethatwhenyougetoutthereandyoufinallyhavenomoreresponsibilities,yourpracticejustgoeslickitysplit.

Alotofusthinkthatbecausewehavethisorthatobstacleinourdailylives,that’swhatexplainswhyourpracticeisn’tprogressing.Butiffinallywehad100%ofourtimetogivetothepractice,everythingwouldgoreallywell.

Well,itdoesn’talwayshappenthatway.Alotoftimesyou’reoutintheforestandnothingseemstobeworking—becauseyou’renottherealone:You’vebroughtallyourmemoriesofthepastalongwithyou.Andyou’vegottolearnhowtodealwiththem.Soyoulearnhowtofindsomehumorinthesituation,keepyourselfentertainedinwaysthatareinlinewiththeDhamma.Thisishowtheajaansbecametheajaans.Theirsensesofhumorsawthemthrough.

Sowedofocusonresults.Wefocusonactinginaskillfulwayandlearningfromtheresultsofouractions.That’showtheBuddhafoundawakening,andthat’showwe’reallgoingtofindourownawakening:bybeingveryclearaboutwhatwe’redoing,theresultswe’regetting,andwhatwecandobetter.Sointhisway,wearefocusedonresults.

Whatthismeansisthatyouhavetoputyourpreferencesaside.ThatoldZensayingthattheGreatWayisnotdifficultforthosewithnopreferences:Itdoesn’tmeanyoujustgiveuppreferencesofallkinds.Youprefertogetskillfulresultsandyouprefertogainawakening.Whatitmeansisthatyoudon’tsticktoyouroldwaysofdoingthings,sayingthat“ThisisthewayI’mgoingtodothings,thisisthekindofpersonIam,andthisishowithastobe,andIwanttogetgoodresultsthatway.”Theydon’tcomesimplybecauseyouwantthemto.NarcissismisnottheGreatWay.

Youlearnfromyouractions—that’swhywe’refocusedonouractionsandontheirresults.Giventhattheprincipleofkammaisquitecomplex,theresultsmaynotcomeasquicklyaswe’dlike.That’swherepatienceandmaturitycomein.Ifyou’repatientaboutlearningfromyouractionsandlearningfromyourresults,andmatureinhavinga

120

goodsenseofhumoraboutyourmistakes,that’swhenyourfocusisontarget.Sobeingfocusedonresultsisareallynecessarypartofthepractice.It’ssimplya

matteroflearninghowtodoitright.

121

LookafterYourBabyOctober1,2016

Alltoooftenithappensthatwhenyousitdowntoconcentrateonthebreath,youstaywiththebreathforalittlebitandthenyou’reoffsomeplaceelse.Youcomeback,youstaywithitalittlebitlonger,butthenyou’reoffagain.Thishappenssomanytimesthatyoubegintogetdiscouraged.Youthink,“Maybethisconcentrationisnogood,”soyouthrowitaway.Instead,youshouldthinkthatit’slikehavingababy.Youfeedit.Butthenitcries.Thenyouhavetochangeandwashthediapers.Thenyouhavetofeeditagain.Anditcries.Butyoudon’tthrowthebabyaway.Youjustrealizethatitneedsextrawork,continuouswork.It’sthesamewithyourconcentration.

Youneedtohaveasenseofthevalueevenoflittlebitsofconcentration,becausethosearethethingsthataregoingtogrowintostrongerconcentration.Soyoukeepatit.Youkeepcomingback,comingback.Youfuelyourabilitytocomebackwithconfidenceandconviction.Andifyourconvictionisweak,youhavetostrengthenit,remindingyourselfthatotherpeoplehavedonethisinthepast.They’rehumanbeings.You’reahumanbeing.Theydidit.Youcandoit,too.

Andyouhavetostrengthenyourmindfulness,yourabilitytorememberthatyou’regoingtostayhere.Otherwise,alittlecurtainfallsdowninthemind,likethecurtainwhenyou’rewatchingaplay.Theymovefromonescenetoanother.Theyputthecurtaindown.Thenthecurtaincomesup,andyou’resomeplaceelseentirely.Youhavetowatchoutforthemind’stendencytoputthatcurtaindown,becausethat’swhatmakesyouforgetasyougofromonescenetothenextinyourmind.

Somakeupyourmindthatwhenthemindisgoingtowanderoff,youwanttoknow,becauseifyoukeeptellingyourself,“It’snotgoingtowanderoff,it’snotgoingtowanderoff,”thenwhenitdoeswanderoff,partofthemindhastodeceiveanotherpartofthemindtodothat.Butifyou’realerttothefactthatitwillwanderoffandyoumakeupyourmindthatyouwanttoseethestepsorstages,youbegintopeerthroughthecurtain.Youseethatwhenthemindisgettingreadytogo,itfirstsendsoutalittlefeelerforsomethingelse.Andwhenthatfeelerattachestosomething,itgoes,likeaspidercastingitswebfilamenttoseeifitwillcatchsomething.Sowatchoutforthefilament.Watchoutforthefeeler.

Themindmaybewiththebreath,orpartofthemindiswiththebreath,butit’snotthewholething.Somethingelseisalreadysneakingofftogosomeplaceelse.Andyouwanttoseethat.Inotherwords,youhavetogetthemindsothatitdoesn’tkeeplyingtoitself.Soremember,themindwillslipoff,butyouwanttounderstandwhyitdoesthat.Andwhenyoucanunderstandit,thenyoucanpreventit.

122

Soeventhoughyourconcentrationmaybeweak,don’tthrowitaway.Don’tgetfrustratedwithit.Learntovaluethebitsoftimewhenyouarewiththebreath.Ifyoumadeittothreebreaths,okay,patyourselfontheback.Thensay,“Okay,canImakeittofour?Howaboutfive?”Itmayseemverymeagerintermsofprogress,buttheprogresscangrowexponentially.Inotherwords,itgoesfromthreetofourandthentoeightandthentosixteen,thento256.Itkeepsmultiplyingasyougetabetterunderstandingofhowthemindmovesfromoneobjecttoanother.

AllofthiscomesunderthelistoftheBuddha’steachingsonthefivestrengths.Youhavetostrengthenyourconviction.Youhavetostrengthenyourpersistence,yourmindfulness,yourconcentration,andyourdiscernment.

Thosestrengthsarelistedinarow—conviction,persistence,mindfulness,concentration,discernment—butthatdoesn’tmeanthatyoustartwithjustthebeginningones.Allfivehavetosupportoneanother.Solooktoseewhereyou’relacking.Areyoulackingconvictioninyourself?AreyoulackingconvictionintheBuddha’steachings?Areyoulackingconvictioninyourpersistence?Whatdoesitmeantobepersistent?Itmeansunderstandingthattherearesomethingsyouwanttoprotect,otherthingsyouwanttogetridof.Soeventhoughtheconcentrationinthebeginningmaybesmallandweak,you’vegottoprotectit.Don’tthrowitaway.

Tomakeanothercomparison,it’slikeplantingatree.Youfindtheseeds,andtheseedscanseemverysmall.Butthinkabouttheredwoodsupnorth.Theycomefromtiny,tinyseeds,andyetthey’rethetallesttreesonEarth.Soyoutakethetinyseedofconcentrationandyouplantit.Andyoulookafterit.Andmakesurethatalltheconditionsarerightintermsofyourconviction,yourpersistence,yourmindfulness,andyourdiscernment.Andwhetherthetreegrowsquicklyorslowly,that’sthetree’sbusiness.Thoseredwoods,forexample,dogrowveryslowly.Buttheycandothingsthatothertreescan’tdo.Theycanreachhigher.Theycanactuallysupportothertreesinsidetheircrown.It’sthesamewithyourconcentration.Yourconcentrationmaybeslowtogrow,butslow-growingconcentrationactuallyhasitsadvantagesandcansometimesdothingsthatfast-growingconcentrationcan’t.

Therearepeoplewhofinditveryeasytoclosetheireyes,go,buddho,buddho,andbang,they’reinconcentration.Theproblemisthattheydon’tunderstandwhat’shappened.Andsothen,onthedayswhentheycan’tgetthemindtosettledown,theydon’tknowwhattodo.Butifyou’vegonethroughallthevariousobstaclesthatthemindsetsupforitselfandyoulearnhowtogetpastthem,thenevenondayswhenthemindisnotnecessarilyinclinedtowanttosettledown,youknowhowtogetitpastthoseobstacles,becauseyou’vehadexperience.Thatkindofslow-growingconcentrationisliketheredwoodswithothertreesgrowingupintheircrowns.Itcansupportallkindsofinsights,allkindsofgoodqualitiesinthemind.

Soifyourconcentrationisweak,okay,workwithyourweakconcentration.Don’tthrowitaway.Don’tsay,“Iwantabetterconcentration,”anddiscardwhatyou’vegot.

123

It’slikegettingababythatcriesandsaying,“Iwantababythatdoesn’tcry,”soyouthrowitout.Or,“Iwantababythatdoesn’thavetobefed,”andyouthrowitout.Thehumanracewouldhavediedalongtimeagoifthat’showwetreatedourchildren.Sothinkofyourconcentrationasachild.Inthebeginning,it’llrequirelotsandlotsofattention.We’dliketothinkthatoncewehookontothebreath,wecanputeverythingonautomaticpilotandjustcoastthroughthehour.Butconcentration,especiallythekindthatfostersdiscernment,doesn’thaveautomaticpilot.Itrequiresalertness.Itrequiresmindfulness.Justaswhenyoudrive,youhavetobealertallthetime,mindfulallthetime.

Sodon’texpectthatthemind’sgoingtogetinplaceandjuststaytherewithoutyourhavingtocareforit.Actually,it’sinthecaringforitthattheconcentrationactuallygrowsandbecomesstronger.Sothemindthatsays,“IsimplywantaplacetorestandIdon’twanttobebothered”:That’sthemindthatjustwantstogotosleep.However,tosay,“IwanttorestinconcentrationsothatIcangainthestrengthtogettowork,”isasignthatyourealizethere’sworktobedoneandyouhavetheconvictionthatyoucandoit.Ifyou’relackinginconviction,dowhatyoucantotalkyourselfintowantingtodothis.Talkyourselfintofeelingthatyouarecompetenttodothis.

Tobolsteryourconcentration,thinkofthosefourotherstrengths:conviction,persistence,mindfulness,anddiscernment.Iftheconcentrationisweak,youhavetostrengthenthoseaswell,andtheconcentrationwillbecomestrongeralongwiththem.Thenthelittlebitsandpiecesofconcentrationbegintoconnect.Notthattheyflowontheirown:Youhavetodotheconnecting.Butthenastheydoconnect,theygainstrength.Theconcentrationgainsakindofmomentum.That’swhenitrequireslessandlesswork.Itdoesn’trequirelessmindfulnessoralertness—thosehavetobeconstant—buttheeffortthatgetsputingetseasierovertime.

Again,it’slikeraisingachild.Inthebeginning,youhavetodoeverythingforit:feedit,clotheit,cleanit,comfortit.Butafterawhile,thechildbeginstofeeditself,cleanitself,lookafteritself.Youstillhavetowatchoverit.Afterall,itisyourchildandit’sstillnotanadult.Butit’snotasdifficultasinthefirststagewhenitwasababy.Soeventhoughconcentrationmaybedifficultinthebeginning,don’tthinkit’sgoingtoalwaysbethatway.It’llmature.Butforittomature,youhavetogiveitwhatitneeds.Giveityourfullattention.Bealert.Bemindful.Stickwithit.Keepcomingback,comingback.Keepencouragingyourself.Andthat’showyourfeebleconcentrationbecomesstrong.

124

Vitakka&VicaraDecember24,2017

VitakkaandvicaraaretwoPaliwordsthatmeanthinking.They’reclassifiedasverbalfabrication.Inotherwords,youengageinthesetwoactivities—thinkingofsomethingfirstandthenthinkingaboutit,ordirectingyourthoughtstoatopicandthencommentingonit—andthenyoubreakintospeech.Withouthavinghadthoseverbalthoughtsinthemind,therewouldbenoexternalverbalaction.They’rethementalactivitiesthatprecedespeech.

They’realsotwooftheelementsorfactorsinthefirstjhana.Somepeoplesaythereshouldn’tbeanythinkinginjhana—thatwhentheBuddha

wastalkingaboutvitakkaandvicarainthecontextofjhana,hemeantsomethingelse.Butifthatweretrue,hewouldhavebeenaprettycarelessteacher.Usually,whenheusedhiswordsinaspecialway,hewouldtakepainstoexplainthespecialmeaning.Butinhisdescriptionsofthefirstjhana,there’snoneofthat.

Inthesimileshegivesforthefourjhanas,theimagehegivesforvitakkaandvicarainthefirstjhanaistheactivityofabathman.Inthosedays,theydidn’thavebarsofsoap.Ifyouweregoingtotakeabath,youneededabathmantomixsoappowderwithwatertomakeakindofdoughthatyouwouldthenruboveryourbody.Thebathmanwouldhavetokneadthewaterintothedoughsothattheentireballofdoughwouldbemoist,andyetitwouldn’tdrip.

Thiscorresponds,whenyou’reinthefirstjhana,totakingthesenseofraptureandpleasurethatbuildsuparoundthebreathandlearningtoworkitallthewaythroughthebody,sothattheentirebodyissaturatedwithraptureandpleasure.Youhavetodirectyourthoughtstoquestionslike:Whereisthepleasuretobeginwith?Howdoyoumaintainit?Howdoyouworkitthroughthebody?Whereisitblocked?Andhowcanyouworkitthroughthoseblockages?Thosequestionscountasevaluation.

TheBuddhadoesn’texplainhowtoworktheraptureandpleasurethroughthebody,butAjaanLeefillsinthisblankbyframingtheissueintermsofthebreathenergy.You’rethinkingaboutthebreathandyou’reevaluatingthebreath:Whereisitcomfortable?Whereisitnotcomfortable?Ifit’snotcomfortable,whatcanyoudotochangeit?Ifitiscomfortable,whatcanyoudotomaintainit?Andthenwhatdoyoudowiththatpleasure?Howdoyougetittospreadthroughthebody?

Youcanthinkofitgoingwiththebreathenergydownthespineandoutthelegs.Goingdownthecenterofthefrontofthebody.Goingallthroughouttheheaddownthroughthearms.Orsometimesyoucanthinkofitcomingup.Ifyourbackisfeeling

125

weak,thinkoftheenergycomingupthespineinsteadofgoingdown:fromthebaseofthefeetonupthroughthelegs,upandthenthroughtheback.

Thisissomethingyouhavetoevaluateonyourownbecauseyou’retryingtogetthemindtostaytogetherwiththeobject.You’retryingtogetthebreathandthatsenseofpleasuretofillthebody.Gettingthebreathtofillthebodyisaverygoodwayofallowingraptureandpleasuretosaturatethebody.

Andyouwantyourawarenesstofillthebodyaswell.Infact,youwantallthesethreethingstocometogetherinafullway.Thisiswhythesethreethings—body,feelings,andmind—arethefirstthreeframesofreferencewhenyou’reestablishingmindfulness.Youwanteverythingtofittogether;youwantallthesethreethingstofilloneanotherthoroughly.

Thenyoucommentonitsomemore.That’swhattheevaluationbasicallyis.Youcommentonittoyourselftosee:Isthisgoingthewayyouwant,orisitnot?Youhavetoapplythesefabricationsnotonlytothebreath,butalsotothemind.Whatisyourminddoingrightnow?Ifit’sslippingoff,istheproblemwiththebreathorwiththeminditself?Whereisitslippingouttofeed?Ifyoufindthemindfeedingonsomethingthat’snotgood,howdoyoubringitbacktogetittofeedonthebreath?

Thisisanotheractivityofdirectedthoughtandevaluation.Youwanttogetthemindsnugwiththeobject.Sometimesthatmeansmakingadjustmentstotheobject,sometimestothemind.It’slikegettingtwopiecesofwoodtofittogethersnugly.Sometimesyouhavetosandthispieceofwood,sometimesyouhavetochipalittlesomethingoffofthatpieceofwood,untilfinallytheyfit.Whentheyfittogethersnugly,youcanputthethinkingaside.

Butit’salwaystherewaitinginthebackground.Becauseasthemeditationgoesalong,whenyou’vesettledintoagoodstateofconcentrationlongenough,youwanttoaskyourselfwhattodotomoveontoamorerefinedlevelofconcentration.Sometimestheoppositehappens:Themindswervesoffthetopic,andyouneedtobeabletonoticethat.Youhavetolearnhowtotalkyourselfintocomingback.Thisisalsoanactivityofverbalfabrication.

ThisiswheretheBuddhagetsintowhathecallsthefabricationsofexertion,which,insomecases,havetobeusedtoovercomethecausesofsuffering.Ashenotes,someofthecausesofsufferinginthemindrequirenothingmorethanthatyoulookatthemandseethatthey’rereallynotworthgoingfor.Asaresult,theysimplyfalltotheside.Withothercauses,though,youcanlookatthemandtheyjuststarerightback.There’sapartofthemindthat’sresistanttolettingthemgo,andsotheydon’tfallawaysoeasily.Thisiswhereyouhavetouseallthreefabricationsofexertion:bodily,verbal,andmental.

Verbalfabrication,ofcourse,isdirectedthoughtandevaluation.Youusethisinconjunctionwithalltheotherfabrications:workingwiththebreath,whichisbodilyfabrication;workingwithyourperceptions,theimagesandindividualwordsthathave

126

poweroverthemind—whicharementalfabrications;andworkingwithfeelingsofpleasureandpaininthebody,whicharementalfabricationsaswell.

Verbalfabrication,though,istheprimaryfactorthatadjuststheothertwo.Youhavetoevaluatethesituationandaskyourself,whenthemindisgoingforsomethingthat’sofftarget,howdoyoubringitback?Withsomeofthefoodwefeedon,it’seasytoseethatwhenyoueatthiskindoffoodyougetsick.Soyoutellyourselfthatit’snotreallyworthit,andthat’senoughforyoutogiveitup.Butwithotherkindsoffood,it’sharder.Insomecases,that’sbecausetheeffectstakealongtimetoappear.Inothercases,you’resousedtoeatingthatkindoffoodeverydaythatyoudon’tseeanyconnectionbetweenhowthemindisreactingtoanobjectandhowit’sconnectedtothewayyou’refeedingonsomething.

Likesugar:Peoplewhoeatsugareverydayareprettyusedtowhatitfeelsliketoeatsugareverydayandtheytakeitasnormal.Torealizethatit’snotnormal,thatthebodydoesn’tneedtofeelthatway,youneedtoweanyourselfoffofthesugar.Thatrequiressomethinkinginthelong-term.Whatarethelong-termresultsoffeedinginthisway?Andyouhavetoforceyourselftogiveitup.Theresultsofgivingitupatfirstmaybeunpleasant,butafterawhileyougettothepointwheresugarsmellsbad.Thenyourealize,“Oh!Itreallyishavingabadeffectonthebody.”Butyouhadtoforceyourselftogettothatpoint.

Soinsomecases,whenyou’redoingdirectedthoughtandevaluationaboutsomethingthatyou’reobsessedwithorsomethingyou’reholdingonto,youhavetothinkaboutlong-termconsequences.Andbewillingtotalktoyourselftoremindyourselfeveryday—everytimeyoufeeltemptedtofollowthatparticularlineofthought—thatitslong-termconsequencesarebad.

Thereareotherkindsoffood,though,whereyouactuallyseetheharmbutyoudon’tcare.BackwhenIwasteachingatChiangMaiUniversity,agroupofuswouldgettogetheronceaweek.We’dfanoutthroughthecityofChiangMaitogetnorthernThaifood.Weknewwheretheysoldthebestbarbequedchicken,thebestnamphrikong,thebestlaabmyangnya:alltheotherreallygoodnorthernThaidishes.Sowe’dfanoutandgetallthebestdishesandthenbringthembacktoaspottohaveapicnic.Andthenthenextdayeveryonewouldgetdiarrhea.Andthenthenextweekwe’ddoitalloveragain.

Alotofthingsthatthemindfocusesonandgetsobsessedwitharejustlikethat.Youseetheconsequencesbutyoudon’tcare.Yousay,“I’mmuchmoreattractedtothetasteofnorthernThaifood.Icanputupwiththediarrhea.”That’swhatyouthink.Sointhiscaseyouhavetoreallythinkabouttheconsequencestoseethefactthattheyreallyareharmful.Thatrequiresextrathinking.Yourealizeyouhavetocontemplatetheallurethatyoufind,say,innorthernThaifood,andtheconsequencesit’sgoingtohaveforyourbody.Isthetastereallyworthit?

Apartofthemindmaysay,“Yes,”andthat’sthepartyouhavetoquestion.Look

127

aroundforotherconsequencesthatyoumaynotbenoticinguntilfinallyyoudecidethat,no,it’snotworthit,and,yes,youdocare.

ThisiswhytheBuddhastressesheedfulnesssomuch.Youhavetolearnhowtothinkheedfully.Youdon’twanttoexposeyourselftodangers,becausetherearesomekindsofdiarrheawherethegermthat’scausingitcangetintoyourliverandhavelong-termconsequences.

Iremembermeetingsomeonewho’dbeentoThailandyearsbeforeIgotthere.HehadbeenwiththePeaceCorpsandhegotsomekindofintestinalbugthathadplaguedhimforfiveyearsafterward.SotoweanmyselfoffofnorthernThaifood,IhadtothinkabouthimandhisintestinalbugbeforeIcouldsay,“Okay.It’snotworthit:fiveyearsofbadhealthforjustafleetingtaste.”

Thereareotherkindsoffoodwhereyoucan’tevenimaginenoteatingit.This,again,iswheredirectedthoughtandevaluationcomeintohelpyoutoexpandyourimagination.Yearsback,therewasthebook,MaterialWorld,whichhadpicturesofallthethingsyoumightfindinanaveragehouseholdindifferentcountriesoftheworld.OneofthehouseswasinBhutan.Thefamilyhadanopenpittoiletrightunderthehouse.Andofcourse,thefliesinthepittoiletwouldbuzzupandgetonthefoodthateverybodywaseating.Everybodyhaddiarrheaeverydayandtheydidn’timaginetherewasanyotherwayforthemtolive.Itwouldhavetakensomeonetocomeinandshowthem,“Movethetoiletaway,closeitup,andyourhealthisgoingtoimprove.”

Sometimeswhenyoufindyourselfobsessedwithsomething,youhavetoaskyourself,“Istheresomeotherwayofthinkingaboutthis?Canyouimagineanotherwayofthinkingaboutit?”Thisisespeciallyimportantwhenwehaveverystrongopinionsaboutthings.We’resurewe’rerightaboutthem.Butthenyouhavetoaskyourself,“Okay,holdingontomyrightnessaboutthatparticularopinion:Wheredoesitgetme?Ifitgetsmeupset,isitworthholdingonto?Ifitgetsmeinvolvedinarguments,isitworthholdingonto?”Sometimesyes,butalotoftimesno.Soyouhavetoimaginewhatitwouldbelikenottoholdontoit.

There’sastoryAjaanChahtellsaboutagroupoffourguysgoingthroughaforestwhoheararoostercrow.Threeofthemputtheirheadstogetherandsay,“Let’ssaythatit’sachicken.Seewhattheotherguysays.”Theytelltheotherguythatit’sachicken,andhesays,“No.Ofcoursenot.It’sarooster.”Andtheysay“No.It’sachicken.”Hegetsincredulous:“Howcouldachickencrowlikethat?”“Well,ithasamouth,doesn’tit?”theysay.Theygobackandforth,backandforth,andtheguywho’sconvincedthatit’sarooster—andhe’sreallyright—getssoupsetthathestartscrying.Inhiscase,holdingontohisrightnesswasactuallyasourceofsuffering.Soincaseslikethat,youuseyourdirectedthoughtandevaluationtoaskyourself,“WhatamIgettingfromholdingontothesethings?Andwhataretheconsequences?”

Thisisespeciallyimportantasyoustartmeditating.Youfindthatwithyour

128

increasedpowersofconcentrationandyourgreatertimealone,youcangetobsessedwiththings.Youcanbeveryrightaboutthemandyetyousuffer.Thisiswhereyouhavetostepbackandaskyourself,“Okay.WhatisthisactivitythatI’mdoing?Whereisthistakingme?”It’sanotherfunctionoftheestablishingofmindfulness:lookingattheactivitiesofthemindandaskingyourself,“WheredoesthisparticularactivityfitintheframeworkthattheBuddhagivesfordealingwithskillfulandunskillfulthoughts?”And“unskillful,”here,doesn’tnecessarilymeanwrong.Youcanbeveryrightaboutsomethingbutyoucanholdontoyourrightnessinthewrongway.Youhavetobeespeciallycarefulwhenyourincreasedpowersofconcentrationgetyoumoreandmoreobsessed.

Sodirectedthoughtandevaluationreallydomeanthinkingaboutthings.They’renotjustanunfortunatewobblingofthemind,asoneteacheroncedescribedthem.Theyservearealpurposeingettingthemindintoconcentrationandkeepingitthere.Theyalsohelptakethemindtohigherlevelsofconcentration,whenyouusethemtoanalyzeaparticularlevelofconcentrationtoseewhat’sstillcausingunnecessarystressinthatlevel,sothatyoucandropthecause.AndtheyhelptoprotectthemindifitslipsoffandstartsgettingintowhatVen.Anandacalledthejhanaofanger,thejhanaoflust,orthejhanaoffear.Thesearekindsofjhana,butwhenyouevaluatetheeffectthey’rehavingonthemind,yourealizethatthey’renotontherightpath.

Soasyou’repracticingconcentration,youhavetolearntoraisequestions,i.e.,evaluatewhatyou’redoing,whattheresultsare,sothatyoucanpeelyourselfawayfromthecausesofsufferingthatareespeciallyattractive:Theoneswhereyou’reright,buttherightnessdoesn’tgetyouanywhere.

WhentheBuddhatalksaboutrightview,it’sallaboutwhatyou’redoingthat’scausingsufferingrightnow.Asfortherightnessofissuesoutintheworld,thoseareputaside.Whatcanyoudotoputanendtothesufferingyou’recausingyourself?That’swhatrightviewisallabout.Inthisway,everythinggetsbroughtbackinside.

Eventhoughinthedescriptionoftheestablishingsofmindfulness,theBuddhasometimestalksaboutbeingawareofbodiesoutsideorfeelingsoutsideormindstatesoutside,it’sallultimatelymeanttoreflectbackinside.Youseeotherbodiesdyingandyourealizethatwhat’shappeningtothemreflectsbackonyou:“I,too,amsubjecttodying.”Youseeotherpeoplewhenthey’regreedy,whenthey’reobsessedwithfear,whenthey’reangry,andyoureflectbackonyourself:“WhatamIlikewhenIdothosethings?DoIlooklikethat?”Youseehowuglyitisinotherpeople.Howharmfulitis.That’showyoulook,too.Inthisway,youlearntolookatothersinawaythatgetsyoutothinkaboutyourselfinaskillfulway,tobringeverythingbackinside.

Whatthismeansisthatmeditationisnotalwaysaboutstoppingyourthinking.Itfirstrequiresthatyoulearnhowtothinkproperly,sothatyoucangetagoodperspectiveonwhatyou’redoingthat’scausingyoursufferingandhowyoucanputanendtoit.That’swhenthinkingisuseful.

129

Andwhenthatthinkinghasbroughtyoutoapointwherethemindandthebodyandthefeelingsofwell-beingallcometogether,fillingthebody,thenyoucanputthethinkingaside.Butbereadytopickitupagainwhenyouneeditagain,toevaluateyourconcentrationsoastodeepenitandprotectit.Inthisway,directedthoughtandevaluationareanintegralpartofthepath,bringingtogetheralltheelementsofthepath,includingmindfulness,concentration,rightview,andrightresolve.

Solearnhowtoputyourthinkingtogoodusebeforeyouthinkaboutlettingitgo.

130

Whenit’sHardtoSettleDownJanuary17,2017

Whenthemindhastroublesettlingdownwiththebreath,youwanttochecktoseewhethertheproblemiswiththemindorwiththebreath—orwithyourperceptionsofthemindorofthebreath.

Thefirstproblem,themind:Sometimesyouhavelotsofissuesthatareunresolved,andsimplyputtingthemasideandtryingtofocusonthebreathisnotenoughtogetpastthem.Youhavetothinkthemthrough.Thismeansthinkingabouttheminawaythat’snotyourusualwayofthinkingaboutthem,becauseyourusualwayofthinkingaboutthemiswhat’scausingtheproblem.Andyoucan’tjustsay,“Well,I’llstopthinkingaltogetherandthat’llsolvetheproblem.”Youhavetofirstthinkinawaythat’sgoingtotakesomeoftheburdensoffyourheart.Thenyoucansettledown.

WhenIfirstwenttostaywithAjaanFuang,Ifoundalotofissuesfrommyfamilylifeandchildhood,collegeyears,whatever,comingupinmymeditation.Withsomeofthem,Icouldtalkthemoverwithhim.Someofthemhejustthoughtwereverystrange.IbegantorealizethatifhegotthatstrangelookinhiseyewhenI’dtellhimaboutoneofmyproblems,thiswasaveryAmericanproblemandI’dhavetoworkthroughitmyself.ButInoticedthatwhenhewasdealingwiththeproblemsthathewasfamiliarwith,thesolutionwasalwaystothinkaboutthemfromanewangle,basedonacombinationofunderstandingkammaandunderstandinggoodwill.

Thefactofkammadoesn’tmeanthatpeoplesufferbecausetheydeservetosuffer.That’snottherightunderstandingofkammaatall.Kammameansbasicallythatpeoplehavelotsofactionsintheirpersonalhistory,goodandbad.It’slikehavingafieldfilledwithseeds.Someoftheseedshavebeenburiedthereforalongtimeandthey’renotgoingtosproutforalongtime.Othersarereadytosproutattheslightestprovocation.Whatyouseeatanyonemomentaretheseedsthataresprouting—andparticularly,theonesthatyou’rewateringwithyourownattention,yourowninterestinthem,whetherthey’regoodorbad.Sothefactthatsomethingbadissproutingrightnowdoesn’tmeanthateverythinginthefieldisbad.It’ssimplythecurrentcrop.Andhowdoyoumakesurethattherearegoodseedsinthere?Well,youplantthem.

That’stheotheraspectofkammathat’susefultothinkaboutifyoufindyourselftryingtogobackandstraightenouteverythinginyourpast,tryingtosettlethingsastowho’sright,who’swrong,wheretheblamecanbeassignedorwhatever.Fromthepointofviewofkammaandrebirth,trythinkingback,back,backthroughallthosemanylifetimes.There’snostartingpoint.There’snowayyoucouldsettlethescores.Soyoujusthavetosay,“Well,it’spartofthehumanconditionthatweallhavegoodandbad

131

seedsinourbackground.Rightnow,though,youhavetheopportunitytoplantsomegoodseeds.Andinplantingthegoodseeds,youmakeitaloteasierforthemindtowithstandtheeffectsofthepastbadseedswhentheysprout.”

AstheBuddhasaid,it’slikethrowingalumpofsaltintosomewater.Ifyouhavejustalittlecupofwater,thenyoucan’tdrinkthewaterbecausethelumpofsaltmakesittoosalty.Butifyouhavealargeriver,andthewaterintheriverisclean,thenwhenyouthrowthelumpofsaltin,youcanstilldrinkthewater.Thelargeriverherestandsforamindthat’strained—specifically,trainedinthebrahmaviharas:goodwill,compassion,empatheticjoy,andequanimity—learningtoextendtheseattitudestoallpeople,allbeings,bothfortheirbenefitandforyours.Fortheirbenefit,sometimesyousimplyextendgoodwilltootherbeingsandthey’llfeelit.Thereareothertimeswhentheywon’tfeelit,butatleastthefactofhavingdevelopedthatattitudewithinyourselfmeansyou’remorelikelytobetrustworthyinyourinteractionswithothers.

Andyoumakeitanimmeasurablequalityofthemind.Inotherwords,youdon’tmeasureoutyourgoodwill,saying,“I’mgoingtogivethismuchtothispersonandthismuchtothatperson,anddenyittothatpersonoverthere.”Giveeverythingyou’vegottoeverybody.Anditcomesbackasakindofsafety.AstheBuddhasaid,thisisyourwealthasameditator;thisisyourprotection.It’syourgifttothewholeworld.Youcanmakeitspecific,sendingittospecificpeopleyouknowaresuffering,butyoualsowanttobeabletoextendittoeverybody.

Andtakingthatpointofview—everybody—youstartthinkingaboutthechantthatwerepeatoften:Alllivingbeingsaretheownersoftheiractions.Andthatotherchant:subjecttoaging,subjecttoillness,subjecttodeath.TheThaitranslationisthatagingisnormal,illnessisnormal,deathisnormal.Theoriginalsuttawherethatreflectionisfoundgoesontosaythatthisappliesnotonlytoyou.Itappliestoeverybody.Ifyouthinkaboutthewholeworld,thewholecosmos,everybodylivesinastatewhereaging,illness,anddeatharenormal.Andwhenyoucanthinkintheseterms,ithelpstorelievealotofoldburdensorthedesiretosettleoldscores.There’salreadyenoughsufferingasitis.Whywouldyouwanttoaddmore?Thatlargerperspectivemakesiteasiertofinallysettleinandgetcenteredwiththebreath.

Thereareotherhelpfulreflectionsaswell.SometimesreflectingontheBuddhaishelpful.Here’ssomebodywhohadeverythinginlifebutherealizedthathavingeverythinginlifeisnotenough.There’sgottobesomethingbetterthanthenormalstuffofwhattheycall“everythinginlife.”Hewentout,sacrificedalotofyearsofhislife,wentthroughalotofsuffering,butfinallycameacrosssomethingthatwasmorethaneverything.Itwasthedeathless.

Andhecamebackandtaughtitforfree.It’shardtofindthatsortofpersonnow.Justthiseveningwegotabrochurefromapublisherofferingatleast30or40mindfulnessbooks,allforsale.Thisiswhatpeopledonowadays:Theylearnalittlebitaboutmindfulnessandtheyfindawaytomakemoneyoffofit.WhereastheBuddha

132

knewalotmoreaboutmindfulnessandhedidn’tchargeatall.Histeachingswerefree.HewalkedalloverIndiafor45years,teachingwhoevercouldbetaught.Peopleofallkinds.Sothisisthetypeofpersonwhofoundthispathwe’reon.Sometimesthinkingaboutthatcangiveyoutheenergyyouneedtopractice.

OryoucanreflectontheSanghaandstoriesintheCanonofmembersoftheSangha,manyofwhomsufferedanawfullotandgotverydiscouragedinthepracticebutwereabletopickthemselvesupandfinallygainawakening.Thatcanbeinspiring,too.

Sotherearevariousreflectionsyoucanengagein.Sometimesyoucanspendthewholehourinthosereflections,andit’snotawastedhour.You’relearningtore-thinktheissuesinyourmindfromtheBuddha’spointofview.Thesearesomeofhiswaysofthinkingthatherecommendsforallofus,waysofthinkingthathelptakethestingoutofoursuffering.It’sallpartofrightviewandrightresolve,allpartofthepath.

Learninghowtore-thinkyourissuesisanimportantskillinthemeditation.Youlookatthevaluesyou’vepickedupfromsocietyandyourealizethatalotofthemarenotdesignedtohelprelievesuffering.Theyactuallypourmoresufferingon.Thisiswhyit’sinyourownbestinteresttolearntore-thinkthings,re-castthenarrative,untilthemindisreadytosettledown.

Thenyoulookatthebreath.Sometimes,ifyoustillcan’tsettledown,that’swheretheproblemis:Thebreathisnotcomfortable.Theremaybepainsinthebody.Learnhowtobreathethroughthepains.Thinkofthebreathnotjustastheaircominginandoutofthelungs,butalsoastheflowofenergyinthebody.Ifyoucan’tfeeltheflow,justaskyourselfwhereit’stenseortightinthebody,andrelaxthosespots.Makeacomparison.Ifyouthinkthere’ssometensioninyourrightshoulder,compareitwithyourleftshoulder.Iftheleftshoulderseemsmorerelaxed,seeifyoucancreatethatsamerelaxedsensationintherightshoulder.Godownthroughthebodythisway.

Oftenanissuethatseemstobeanissueofthebreathisactuallyanissueofyourperceptionofthebreathoryourperceptionofthemindinrelationshiptothebreath.WhenIwasfirstmeditating,AjaanFuangwouldsay,“Watchoutforyourmindsothatifyouseeit’sgoingtoslipoffintodistraction,youworkmorewiththebreath.”Well,Icouldn’tbelievethatyoucouldseeyourselfslipoffintodistraction.Youeitherweren’tdistractedoryouwere.SoIaskedhim,“Howcanyouseeifthemind’sgoingtoslipoff?”Herepliedthattherearewarningsignals.AndasIwatched,sureenough,thatwasthecase.Themindislikeaninchworm.Itcomestotheedgeofaleafandpartofit’sstillontheleafbutanotherpartofitiswavingaround,lookingforthenextleaf.Thenextleafcomesbyand—pop—it’soff.

It’sthesamewiththemind.Partofitmaybewiththebreath,butpartofitstartslookingaround.Ifyou’rereallyalert,youbegintosee,“Oh,thesearethewarningsignals.Thisisthemindabouttoslipoff.”Andwhenit’sabouttoslipoff,alotofthe

133

problemisthatthebreathisnolongerinteresting.Soturnaroundtoseewhat’sgoingoninthebreaththatyoucanworkwith.Learnhowtotakemoreofaninterestinthebreath.Seeifthereareanypainsinthebody.Canyouusethebreathtoworkaroundthem,workthroughthem,dissolvethetensionaroundthem?Ifthere’ssomestiffnessorasenseofblockage,seeifthebreathcanhelp.Itgivesyousomethingtogetinterestedin.

Oryoucanaskyourselfwhereinthebodyisthegreatestsensitivitytothebreath.Oftenit’stheareaaroundtheheart.Doesitfeelreallygoodwhenyoubreatheinrightdowninthatareaordoesitjustfeelkindofbland?Ifitfeelsbland,askyourselfwhatwouldbereallysatisfyingthere,whatwouldfeelreally,reallygoodthere,andseehowthebodyresponds.Sometimesit’llinvolvethinkingofthebreathcominginfromanotherdirectionthanyounormallythinkitcomes.Andinreleasingwhatevertensiontheremaybearoundtheheart,youmayfindotherpatternsoftensionshowingupinthebodyaswell,andtheycangetreleased,too.

Sothere’salottoexplorehere.Ifyou’reboredwiththebreath,itmeansyou’renotlooking,ornotlookingcarefullyenough.

There’salsoacommonperceptionofthemindthatcangetintheway:theideathatthemindisonlyinonespot.Actually,youhaveanawarenessthatfillsthebodyalready.It’sabackgroundawareness,andthenthere’sonespotwhereyou’refocused.Whatyou’retryingtodoasyouworkwiththeconcentrationanddevelopawhole-bodyawarenessistotrytoconnectthatsenseofbeingfocusedwiththebackground,sothatyoubegintoseeit’sallpartofthesameawareness.Eventhoughtheremaybeonespotthat’smoreprominentthantheothersintheawareness,it’sconnectedwiththebackgroundawareness,too.

Onewaytobuilduptothisistothinkoftwospotsatonce—say,intheheadandatthebaseofthespine—andofalineconnectingthetwo.Makeyourselfawareofthewholeline,andthenfromthereyoucangivethelinemoreofathree-dimensionalqualitysothatitbeginstofillouttherestofthebody,whileyourfocusedawarenessandyourbackgroundawarenessallbecomeone.

It’swhenthemindfillsthebodylikethisthatitdoesn’thaveanyextrahandstograbontoanythingelse.Ifthemindisonlyinonespot,it’slikeholdingontoapostwithonehandandthenspinningaroundandtryingtograbwhatevercomesbywithyourotherhand.There’salotyoucangrabthatway.Inotherwords,youcanbewiththebreath,youcanbewithbuddho,butotherpartsofthemindaregrabbingontothis,grabbingontothat.Butifyou’reawareofyourwholebodyandyoutryandmakeyourawarenessthree-dimensionallikethis,thentherearenoextrahandstograbontoanything.Everythingisfull.Yoursenseofyourhandsfillsyourhands;yoursenseofyourheadfillsyourhead;theawarenessfillsthebody.It’sasifyourawarenesshasashapelikeyourbodyandallthepartsaretogether,allthepartslineup.Whenyouthinkintheseways,youcanactuallygetthemindintoconcentration.

134

Whenwetalkaboutkeepingthemindinconcentration,whatareyoudoing?It’snotlikeyou’reholdingitbythescruffoftheneckorputtingachainonit.It’sthewayyouthinkaboutthingsthatkeepsyouconcentrated.Andyou’lllearnhowtothinkaboutthingsconnectingwiththisfull-bodyawareness,sothatthethinkingandtheawarenessareintune.Thenit’ssimplyamatterofremindingyourself:Stayhere;stayhere.

Whenyou’renotstayinghere,thenyouhavetoremindyourselftomovebacktothebreath,todothisordothat.There’sgoingtobealotofdirectiongoingoninthebackground.Butasthingsbegintosettledown,thatdirectingvoicecangetsimpler.Thedirectionsgetsimpler.Theyturnfromthinkingintosimpleperceptions:Thisbreath.Thisbreath.Andtheyactuallybecomepartoftheconcentration.

Sothewayyouthinkasyou’recomingintothemeditationisanimportantpartofthepractice.Youcan’tjustsay,“Well,I’lldropallmythinkingandberighthere.”Sometimesyou’vegottothinkyourwaythroughwhateverproblemsaregettingintheway.AndasIsaidearlier,don’tregardthethinkingasawasteoftime,becauseittakesthinkingtosolvethinking.Someissuesyoucanputasideforthetimebeing.Maybeyoucan’tcutallthewaythroughthembutyoucandisablethemenoughsothatthey’renotgoingtogetintheway.Butwithotherissues,youhavetothinkthemthroughacertainamountbeforeyoucangetthemoutofthewayforthetimebeing.Thisisalong-termprojectwe’reworkingon,becausethemindhaslotsofunskillfulwaysofthinking,lotsofunskillfulwaysofunderstandingitself.Andlearninghowtogetthemindintoconcentrationgivesyoualong-termsourceofsustenancetokeepyougoingasyoubegintotakealltheseproblemsapart.

135

BuildingCharacterOctober19,2016

IhadastudentinThailandwhowasalwaysitchingtogetoutintotheforest,complainingthatlifeinthemonasterywasplacingtoomanyrestrictionsonhismeditation.Andsofinallyhegotoutintotheforest,hehadhisownlittlehut,hisownmountain—nothingtodobutmeditatealldaylong.Yetforthefirstcoupleofmonths,hismeditationwasmiserable,andtherewasnobodyhecouldblameiton.Hecouldn’tblameitontheschedule;hecouldn’tblameitonotherpeople;hecouldn’tblameitonthelocation.Alltheconvenientscapegoatsweregone.Sofinallyhetookhimselfinhandandremindedhimself,“Well,attheveryleast,I’mlearningtheperfectionofendurance.”

Thereareseverallessonstobedrawnfromthat.Oneistorememberthatthereareboundtobeupsanddownsinthemeditation.Youhavetowatchoutforthetendencytowanttobeajhanajunkyoraninsightjunky—inotherwords,togoforthehitsandthentofeelfrustratedwhenyoucan’tgetthemindtosettledownlikebefore,togettheinsightsyouhadbefore,andyou’renotinthezonethatmeditatorsliketogetinto.Incaseslikethat,you’vegottolearnhowtodealwiththoseupsanddownsinamaturewayinsteadofbeinglikethetypicaljunkywhojustgetsfrustratedanddifficulttodealwithwhenhecan’tindulgeinhisaddiction,can’tgetthehit,can’tgetthepleasurehewants.

We’reheretobuildcharacter,notjusttohavethehitsofinsightorthehitsofconcentration.Whenyouthinkofthatphrase“buildingcharacter,”youimmediatelythinkofCalvinandHobbes,theonewhereCalvindoesanimitationofhisfatherandsays,“Calvin,buildsomecharacter.Godosomethingyouhate.”Now,therearealotofthingsthatbuildcharacterthatwedon’tlike,butthetrickislearninghownottohatedoingthem,learningtoactuallylikethem.Thethoughtthatsavedthemonkintheforestwas,“AtleastI’mdevelopingsomethinggoodoutofthis,developingsomecharacter.”Therewassomethingtoshowforthis,andhecouldactuallycometoenjoyit.

Wehadthatphraseinthechantjustnowaboutrighteffort—learninghowtogeneratedesiretoabandonunskillfulqualitiesandtodeveloptheskillfulones.Inotherwords,youhavetotalkyourselfintolikingwhatyou’redoingandtoseethepracticeasanopportunitytodevelopgoodqualitiesallaround.Therearegoodqualitiestobedevelopedbymeditating,andothergoodqualitiestobedevelopedbyworkingintheorchard,goodqualitiestobedevelopedbycleaningup.Thenicethingaboutbeinginamonasteryanddoingthesethingsisthatnobodyiscompetingwithyou.Nooneis

136

makingitaracetoseewhohasbetterqualities.Butyoucanmakeitaracewithyourself.

AjaanFuangusedtocallthis“lookingforthegrassatthecorraldoor.”Heoncetookagroupofhisstudentsuptomeditateatthechedi,butsomebodyhadleftahugemessthere.Soinsteadofmeditating,theyhadtocleanupthemess.Oneofthewomencomplained,asking,“Whatkindofpersonwouldleaveamesslikethis?”Andhesaid,“Don’tcriticizethem.Theygaveusthisopportunitytomakesomemerit.”

Thenhetoldthestoryaboutthegrassatthecorralgate.Assoonasyouopenthecorralgate,allthecowsgorushingouttolookforthegrassoutinthemeadow.There’sgrassrightthereattheposttothegate,butnoneofthecowseatthat.There’ssomethingrightnearby,somethingyoucoulddo,andthere’sagoodbenefitforyourcharactercomingoutofthat.Solookaround—thereareopportunitiestodogoodeverywhere.Andthinkofallthegoodqualitiesyou’redeveloping.

There’sthatphrase,“spiritualmaterialism,”whichmakespeoplelookdownontheideaofgettingsomethingoutofthepractice.Andthephraseisproperlyappliedtotheideathatyou’regoingtogetahiteverytimeyousitdownandcloseyoureyes—theraptureisgoingtocome,theblissisgoingtocome,theinsightsaregoingtocomepouringoutofthemind.Andthenyousitthere,andofcourseitdoesn’thappen,andyougetfrustrated.Thatkindofmaterialismactuallykeepsyouimmature.

Butthere’sanotherkindofmaterialism,agoodkind,regardingthegoodqualitiesofthemindyoucandevelop.There’sthelistoftheperfections—generosity,virtue,renunciation,discernment,persistence,endurance—allthosegoodCapricornvirtues;truth,determination,goodwill,equanimity.AsAjaanFuanglikedtosay,whentheBuddhawasborninallhismanylifetimesupuntilhebecameaBuddha,hewasbornforthesakeofmasteringtheseperfections.

Thelistofgoodspiritualmaterialisminthesuttasisthelistofthenobletreasures:conviction,asenseofshame,asenseofcompunction,virtue,learning,generosity,anddiscernment.Thesearetreasuresthat,asyoubuildthemintoyourmind,arethereforagoodlongtime.Nooneelsecantakethemaway.Theystickwithyouevenafterdeath.

Tryingtoamassthesethingsisnotbadorimmature.It’sactuallygood,becauseasyou’reamassingthem,you’renottakinganythingawayfromanyoneelse.You’respreadingthegoodbenefitsaround.Thisisakindofgreed,youmightcallit,thatactuallyhasnobadconsequences.Sowhenthingsaredifficult,lookaround.

Iknewofanothermonk—Ididn’tknowhimpersonallybutIreadanarticlehehadwrittenonetime,abouthowwhenhehadgonetoAsia,hetendedtolookdownonthemonksandnunswhoputteredaroundthemonastery.Hewasgoingtodonothingbutmeditate.Andhefoundthat,ofcourse,hismeditationgotprettydryveryquickly.There’ssomethingupliftingaboutjustdoingalittlesomethinggoodhereandthere:nothingthatanyonehasforcedyoutodo,somethingyouvoluntarilydecidetodo—to

137

cleanupalittlebit,ortostraightenthingsoutalittlebit,orwhatever.Andthemonknoticedthatthepeoplewhoweredoingthisactuallyhadthejuicetokeeptheirmeditationgoing.

AllofthisrelatestoaqualitythatAjaanMahaBoowadefinedassinglenessofmind—ekaggata.Inhisdefinitionoftheterm,it’snotthatthemindisone-pointed.It’sthatthemindhasasolidstabilitythatcanweathertheupsanddowns.Whetherthey’reupsanddownsinoutsideconditionsorupsanddownsinyourmeditation—whatevertheupsanddowns,youwanttohavethemindonanevenkeelsothatyoucantaketheminstride.Thatway,whenthehitscome,you’renotoverwhelmedbythem;andwhentheydon’tcome,youdon’tstartbehavinglikeacocaineaddictwho’sdesperateforthenexthit.

Ifyou’reameditationjunkie,yougetsurroundedbyaseaofannoyance—everythingallaroundyouisbad.Everythingiswrong.Andthere’sacertainchargethatcomeswiththat—thatyourangerisjustified,thatthesethingsreallyareunfair,they’rereallynotright.Andyoumightberight,buttogetangryoverthemiswrong.Still,there’sachargethatcomeswiththat.Ontheonehand,itletsyouoffthehook—themeditationisn’tgoingwellbutit’snotbecauseofyou,it’sbecauseofthesehorribleconditionsoutside.Ontheotherhand,there’sthephysicalchargethatcomeswhenyougetangry—theadrenalinecomespouringoutandthere’sasurgeofenergy.Youfeedonthat—butit’sreallymiserablefood.It’saggravatingfood.

Whatyouwanttofeedonisthesensethathere’sanopportunitytostraightenthingsoutalittlebit,cleanthingsupalittlebit.Lookfortheopportunitiestodogood.They’rethere.There’sasenseofwell-beingthatcomeswithbeinggenerous,andsometimeswhatyourmeditationneedsisalittlebitofthatjuice—thejuicethatcomesfromagenerousmind.

Sothisisthekindofcharacterwe’retryingtobuilduntileventuallyit’slikethecharacteroftheBuddha,whocommentedthatinthecourseofhisquestforawakening,heneverletpainovercomehismind,heneverletpleasureovercomehismind.Hewasabletousepainandusepleasureashekeptdevelopingallofhisperfections,ashekeptbuildinghischaracter.

Andwhenyouhavethatqualityofcharacter,youfindthatit’sevenmoresolidthanyourconcentration.Concentrationgivesasolidityofonesort.Butthesolidityofawell-builtcharactercancarryyouthroughevenwhentheconcentrationgetsweak,ortheconcentrationhasitsupsanddowns,ortheinsightsdon’tcome.Itallowsyoutodevelopdiscernmentinotherways.

Weallthinkthatinsightmeansseeingthingsintermsofinconstancy,stress,not-self;seeingthestructureofnatureorofrealityandhowemptyitallis.Andthosearetheimportantinsights.Butthereareotherinsightsinrealizing:Howdoyoukeepyourselfgoing?Howdoyoumaintainyourstaminainthemidstoftheupsanddowns?

138

Thatrequiresinsight,too.Anditgivesyoureallygoodinsightsintotheworkingsofyourmind.Youcomeacrossdefilementsyouwouldn’thaveseenotherwise,andyoulearnhowtooutsmartthem.

Soinsightsareeverywhere.Andyou’remostlikelytouncoverthemasyou’retryingtodevelopgoodqualitiesofmind,asyou’retryingtobuildyourcharacter,asyoulearntodothingsyoudon’tliketodobutyoulearntowanttodothem.Learntolookforthem,andyou’llseethem.

139

TheGiftofSpiritualMaterialismSeptember1,2016

TheBuddhacalledthequalitiesthatwedeveloponthepathariya-dhana:nobletreasuresornoblewealth.Hewasnotatallshyaboutusingfinancialanalogiestoexplainthepath,toexplainthegoal.Thearahant,hesaid,issomeonewho’stotallywithoutdebt,feedsoffthealmsofthecountrywithoutdebt.

Andtheforestajaanscarryoutthisimageaswell.AjaanMahaBoowatalksaboutbecominganinnermillionaire,andhecallsthestateofmindthatyougainwithawakeninga“Dhammatreasure.”

Soyouhearnothingintheforesttraditionabouttryingtogetawayfrom“spiritualmaterialism,”awayfromtryingtoacquiresomethinginthepractice.Theajaans,followingtheBuddha,arequitefrankaboutthefactthatyouwanttoacquiregoodqualitiesandthattheyarereallyvaluable,reallyworthaspiringto.

AjaanLeehasanicewayofputtingit.Hesayswhenyouletgo,youwanttoletgolikeawealthypersonandnotlikeapauper.Thepauperdoesn’thaveaMercedesandhebrags,“I’lljustletgoofanydesiretohaveaMercedes.”That’snothingcomparedtoawealthypersonwhohasworkedtogettheMercedesandiswillingtoletitgo.Becausethere’sarealMercedesthere,otherpeoplecanbenefitfromit.

Inotherwords,thegoodqualitiesyoudevelopinthemindarenotonlyforyourowngood.Ifyougodownthelistofnobletreasures,you’llseethattheyspreadtheirbenefitsaround.

Tobeginwith,there’sconviction,virtue,shame,andcompunction.Thesefourformaset.Youbelieveinthepowerofaction:thattheBuddhareallywasawakened,andthathisawakeningdependedonhisownactions.Youalsoareconvincedthatthequalitieshedevelopedtogainthatawakeningarequalitiesweallhaveinpotentialform.It’sthroughouractionsthatwecanfosterthemandbringthemtothatsamelevelofskill,thesamestateofmaturity.

Virtuegrowsoutofthatconviction.Inyourquesttobeskillful,youdon’twanttoharmanyoneinanyway.Soyouholdbytheprecepts—thefive,theeight,the227precepts—asawayofmakingsurethatyoudon’tharmyourself,youdon’tharmothers.

Shameandcompunctionaretheemotionsthatkeepyouinlinewiththoseprecepts.Youwouldbeashamedtobreaktheprecepts,becauseyourealizethatharmfulactionsarebeneathyou.You’reabetterpersonthanthat.

Asforcompunction,it’stheoppositeofapathy.Apathysays,“Idon’tcarewhathappensdowntheline.I’mjustgoingtogoforwhatIwantrightnow.”Compunction

140

cares.Itsays,“Whathappensdownthelineisimportant,soI’vegottobecarefulaboutwhatIdorightnow.Ican’tjustgobymyimmediatewants.”Thesetwoqualities,shameandcompunction,areaformofwealthbecausetheyprotectyouinsomanywaysfromdoingthingsthatyouwouldlaterregret.

Yearsback,Iheardaradiointerviewwithanoldguywho’dbeenasoldierinVietnam.Apparently,he’dkilledayounggirlduringthewarfornoreasonatall.Andeverynight,thememoryoftheyounggirlkepthauntinghim.Ashesaidtotheinterviewer,“IfIhadamilliondollarstogobackandundothat,Iwouldgladlyspendthatmuchmoney.”Butofcourse,noamountofmoneycanundoyourpastdeeds.Whichmeansthatifyouhavetheshameandcompunctionnottodothosethingstobeginwith,it’sworthmorethanamilliondollars.

Asfortheremainingthreenobletreasures,they’relearning,generosity,anddiscernment.

LearningisyourknowledgeoftheDhamma.Here,too,you’renottheonlyonewhobenefitswhenyouknowtheDhamma.Youcanshareitwithothers.Attheveryleast,ifyouactinlinewiththeDhammayou’velearned,otherpeoplewillbenefit.

Generosityisthewayinwhichit’smostobviousthatotherpeoplebenefitfromyourgoodqualities,becauseyou’regivingofmaterialthings,yourtime,yourknowledge,yourenergy,yourforgiveness.You’renotjusttakingfromtheworld;you’regivinggoodthingsback.

Finally,there’sdiscernment,thetreasurethatprotectsalltheothers.Whatthismeansisthis:Astheresultofthegoodkammaofgenerosity,thegoodkammaofvirtue,you’llbereborninreallyniceplacesandhaveareallygoodsituationinlife.Butifyoudon’thavediscernment,youcanabusethatgoodness.Discernmentiswhathelpsyouseethateventhegoodnessthatcomesfromvirtueandgenerosityisnotenough.Youneedmore.Andasyoudevelopthatdiscernment,you’reagoodexampletoothers.Youractionsdon’tweighonthem,becauseyou’reabletoseethroughyourowngreed,aversion,anddelusion,andtocutthemthrough.Thatway,otherpeoplearen’tsubjectedtothosethings.

Now,thereisapointonthepathwhereyoutakeallthesenobletreasuresyou’vedevelopedandyougivethemup.Evendiscernmentissomethingthat,attheveryendofthepath,hastobeabandonedaswell.Aswithallthefactorsofthepath,discernmentdoesitsworkandthenyouputitdown.Butthatdoesn’tmeanthosethingsarenolongerthere.It’sjustthatyoudon’thavetoholdontothemanymore.Andthey’rethereforyoutoshare.

ThinkoftheBuddha:allthegoodqualitieshedevelopedandthensharedwitheveryone.For45years,hewalkedalloverNorthernIndia,sharinghiswealth.

Sodon’tbeashamedofhopingthatyou’llgainsomethingfromthepractice.There’snothingwrongwithspiritualmaterialismifyouusethematerialswisely.Thereareso

141

manypracticetraditionsouttherethatsaythatyoushouldn’thaveanygoalsatall,youshouldn’taimatanything,justbeinthepresentmoment.That’slettinggolikeapauper.Youhavenothingandsoyouletitgo.Andit’sstillnothing.Itdoesn’ttakemuchtoletgoofnothing.Butifyou’vegotareallygoodtreasure,it’squiteanaccomplishmenttouseitproperlyandthenletitgo.

Sowe’redevelopingallthesegoodthingssothatthey’lldotheirworkonourmindsandwillalsoleavesomethingextratogivetotheworld.Whileyou’remeditatingtonight,rememberthatit’sforyouandforothers.Whatareyougiving?Whatdoyouhavetogive?Putyourmindinreallygoodshape,sothattheshapeofyourmind,thestateofyourmind,issomethingthatyou’dbehappytopresenttootherpeopleasagift.

Ifyou’resittingherewonderingaboutwhatyou’regoingtodotomorrow,wonderingaboutwhathappenedtoday,thinkingaboutthingsthatarenotrelatedtothebreath,that’snotmuchofagift.Trytodevelopthestateofmindthatyou’dbehappyandproudtopresenttosomebodyelse.

Thereareacoupleofstoriesrelatedtothispointinthetalesoftheajaans.Ayoungmonkcomestoseetheajaanandtalksabouthowhe’sbeenobsessedwithsexandcan’tstopthinkingaboutit.Inonecase,theajaanwasAjaanChah;inanother,itwasAjaanThate.Andinbothcasestheircureforthatwastosay,“Okay,tomorrowyoucangetuponthesermonseatandtelleverybodyinthecommunityingreatdetailwhatyourfantasiesare.”Anditbothcasesitworked.Themonksstoppedthinkingaboutthosethings.

Sothinkofyourstateofmindtonightasapotentialgift.Putitingoodshape,somethingthatyouwouldbehappytogivetoothers.Afterall,inaway,we’regivingourmindstoeverybodyallthetime.Thestateofourmindcomesoutinouractions,inourwords,sopeopleareseeingandreceivingyourstateofmindallthetime.

So—withoutshowingoff—createinsideyourselfareallygoodstateofmind.It’llshowitselfbothinsideandout,andpeoplewillfindthatit’sagiftthatthey’rehappytoreceive.Thebestgiftyoucangive,ofcourse,isthegiftofanobletreasure.Somakeyourmindintoanobletreasure,andit’llspreaditsnoblebenefitsallaround.

142

Patience&TenacityMay23,2017

Wecometomeditationwithideasabouthowwonderfulit’sgoingtobe:Themindsettlesdownwiththebreath,wavesofpleasureandrapturecomeoverthebody,everythingisatpeace.That’stheidea.Butbeforethatideabecomesareality,you’lldiscoverthatthere’sgoingtobepainandtherearegoingtobedistractions.Andtogetthroughthepainanddistractionsrequiresbothpatienceandingenuity.

ThewordforpatienceinPali,khanti,alsomeansenduranceandtenacity.Inotherwords,you’renotjustsittingherepassivelyonthereceivingendofthepainorthedistractions.You’retenaciousintryingtofigurethemout—becauseyoucan’treallygetpastthemuntilyoufigurethemout.Youcan’tjustblotthemout.Concentrationdoesrequiresomeinsight.Wehearallthetimethatyouneedconcentrationfirstbeforeyoucangaininsight.Butalotofpracticalexperience,backedupbywhattheCanonsays,indicatesthattherehastobesomeinsighttodotheconcentration.Youhavetounderstandthemindtosomeextentbeforeyoucangetittosettledown.Thatmeansyou’vegottofigurethingsout.Tofigurethingsout,youhavetowatchthemandasktherightquestions.

Tohelpwiththewatching,theBuddha—whenhegaveinstructionstoRahula,hisson,beforeteachinghimbreathmeditation—taughthim,“Makeyourmindlikeearth.”Peoplethrowdisgustingthingsontheearth,theearthdoesn’tgetdisgusted.Peoplepourperfumeontheearth,theearthisn’texcited.Itjuststaysrightthere,impassive.ButtheBuddha’snottellingyoutomakeyourmindlikeaclodofdirt.He’stellingyouthatifyouwanttounderstandthings,youfirsthavetobeabletositthroughthempatientlytoseethemclearly.

Then,whenhegoesontodescribethestagesofbreathmeditation,it’sveryproactive.Youbreatheincertainways,youbreathewithcertainintentionsinmind.Youwanttoshapeyourexperience,butyouwanttoshapeyourexperiencebasedonsomeunderstanding.Soyouexperiment.Thisiswheretheingenuitycomesin.Andthisisalsowhatkeepsyougoing.Inotherwords,youdon’tletyourselfbesolelyonthereceivingend.Thisappliesbothtopainandtodistractions.Whenpaincomes,youaskquestionsaboutit.

Oneofthefirstquestionsis,“Istherepaineverywhereinthebody?”Well,no,iftherewerepaineverywhereinthebody,you’ddie.Therehavetobesomeareasofthebodythatarecomfortable.Focusonthosefirst.Thesecrettopatienceisthatyoufocusonyourstrengths.Inthemidstofthingsthatareprettymiserable,youcanatleastfocusontheplaceswherethere’ssomeamountofpleasure,theplaceswhereyou’rerelatively

143

safeandthatcanactasabasisforyourstrengths.Focusonthose.Asyoufocusthere,thewholeideaofbeingpatientdoesn’tseemsoonerous,doesn’tseemsoheavy.Thatway,youcanlookatyourmind’stendencytomakemoreoutofthepainandmoreoutofthedistractionsthanyouhaveto.

AjaanLeehasanimagewhereyou’replowingafieldwithawaterbuffaloandyoutieabigbagtothewaterbuffalo’sleg.Allthedirtthatfallsofftheplow,youputinthebag.Ofcourse,you’regoingtogetweigheddown.Butthat’sagoodsymbolforhowthemindoftenreactstopain.Youkeepgatheringitupandcarryingitwithyou.Forinstance,you’resittinghereforawholehourandyou’rethinking,“AllthislongtimeI’vebeensittingherewithpainandIdon’thaveanythingtoshowforit.”Dropwhat’sinthepastentirely.Thepaininthepastisnolongerthere,sowhythinkaboutit?Don’tthinkabouthowlongyou’vebeensittingwiththepain.You’rejusthererightnowasthedirtfallsofftheplow.

Thesamegoesforthefuture:Don’tthinkhowmuchlongerit’sgoingtolast.Otherwise,you’reweighingyourselfdownwiththepastpainandanticipatingthefuturepain,andthatputstoomuchpressureonthepresentmoment.You’vegotthephysicalpainherealready,andthenthememoryandtheanticipationofthepaingetpiledontop.Thingsgetunbearable.Sokeepremindingyourselfthatthepastisgone,gone,gone.Everymoment,assoonasitappears,isgone.Infact,thinkofthepainasgoingawayfromyouratherthancomingatyoutobeginwith.

Thelessonhere,ofcourse,isthatyourperceptionofthepainhasalottodowithhowmuchit’sgoingtoweighdownthemind.Sochangeyourperception.

Ifyounoticethatthereareperiodswhenthepainseemstobebotheringthemindmorethanatothertimes,okay,whathappened?Whatperceptionwentthroughyourmindthatmadethepainmoreintenseormoreburdensomeforthemind?Canyoudropthatperceptionandreplaceitwithadifferentone?

Asyougetmoreproactivewiththepainhere,youdon’tfeellikeyou’reonthereceivingendsomuch.Andasyougetmoreproactive,thepainbeginstorecede.Itmaystillbethere,butitdoesn’thavethesamepresence.Itdoesn’thavethesamepoweraswhenyousimplyletitcomeatyou.

Dealingwithdistractionissomethingelse.Alargepartoftheproblem,ofcourse,isalapseofmindfulness.Butthere’stheaddedproblem,ifyou’vejustarrivedhere,thatthemomentumfromthepastfewdaysoutsideofthemonasteryisgoingtocarryoverintoyourfirstcoupleofdayshere.Sorealizethatitwilltakeawhileforthingstosettledown,forthatexcessenergytowearitselfout.Thenyoucanaskyourself,whatareyougoingtodointhemeantime?Findsomelittlespotinthebodythat’scomfortableorfindsometopicyoulikethinkingabout.Aslongasthemindhasenergytothink,thinkaboutsomethingthat’snotjustthebreath—likethecontemplationwedidofthebodypartsjustnow.

144

Alotofpeopledon’tlikethatcontemplation,butitcanactuallybeaverycalmingprocess,realizingthateverybody’sbodiesarejustlikethis.Alltheissuesyoumayhaveaboutyourbody:Whetheryoulikeyourbodyordon’tlikeyourbody,theygetcutthroughwhenyourealizethatwhenyouopenupyourbodyandeverybodyelse’sbody,thereisnothingyoureallywanttolookatineithercase.There’snoreasontofeeljealousaboutotherpeople’sbodiesortobeworriedaboutyourappearance.Thisallowsyoutofocusinsteadonwhatyoucandowithyourbody,whatyoucandowithyourmind,inthesenseofcreatinggoodkammabydoingskillfulthings

Soyoucanthinkaboutthefactthatthebodyisjustthesedifferentpieces.Youmightthinkabouttheskeleton.Visualizetheskeletontoyourselfandjustgothrougheachbone,onebyonebyone.Startwiththetipsofthefingers,relaxyourhandsaroundthebonesthatyou’rethinkingabout,thenworkyourwayuptothewrists,theforearms,theelbows,theupperarms,theshoulders.Thenstartdownatthefeet:thetipsofthetoes,thebonesinthetoes,thebonesinthefeet,uptotheankles,theshins,theknees,thethighbones,thepelvis,upthespine,vertebrabyvertebra,uptotheskull.Aslongasyou’vegottheenergytothink,thinkaboutthese.Visualizethebonesandalsohaveasenseofrelaxingaroundwhicheverboneyou’revisualizing.Hereagain,you’renotjustonthereceivingend.Youtryvariousthings.Youprobe,youquestion,youtaketheinitiative.ThisisthetenacioussideofthepracticeYoukeepatit.

Eventhoughpartofthemindmaybeinalotofturmoil,youcanfindalittlecornerthat’snot,thatcanactuallythinkaboutwhatyouwanttothinkaboutorbestillwiththebreathifyoufinallywanttobestillwiththebreath.Thinkofyourmindasbeinglikealargeroom.Theremaybesomepeopleoffinthecornerchattingaway,butyoudon’thavetogetinvolvedintheirchatter.Andthefactthatthey’rechattingdoesn’twipeouttheexperienceofthebreath.Itdoesn’thaveto,let’sputitthatway.Ifyouletit,itwill.Butitdoesn’thaveto.Thebreathisstillthere.You’restillbreathing.

Solearnhowtoseparateyourselffromthechatterinthemind.Anddon’tworryabouthowlongit’sgoingtolast.Aslongasyou’renotgettinginvolved,you’vecoveredtheimportantpoint.Thinkofthechatteraspastkamma,andyourdeterminationnottogetinvolvedasyourpresentkamma.Focusonyourpresentkamma.Letthepastgo.

Thisway,youfinditaloteasiertostickwiththemeditation.Thefactthatyoucansithereforlongperiodsoftimedoesn’tseemtobesuchachorebecauseyou’renotcarryingthepastaround.You’renotcarryingyouranticipationforthefuturearound.Whateverhappens,younoteitandit’sgone.Younoteitandit’sgone.Nowyoucansitherewithasenseoflightness.

Sothisishowyoubecomepatient.Thisishowyoubecomeenduring.Notbytalkingtoyourselfabouthowlongaslogit’sgoingtobe,butbyremindingyourselfthatthestuffweighingyoudowninthepastisgone.Thestuffweighingyoudowninthefutureisnowheretobefound.It’snothereyet.Allyou’vegotisthepresentmoment.Andyoustickwiththat,stickwiththat,stickwiththat.Andbyusingmindfulnessto

145

stitchtogethertheselittlemomentsofthepresent,stitchingthemandthenlettingthepastpainsgo,stitchingthemandlettingthepastpainsgo,connectingyourmindfulness,lettingeverythingelsego:That’showyougetintoconcentration.Bykeepingyourobjectinmindandlettinggoofeverythingelse.Atfirstyouhavetobefocusedondoingthisinspiteofalltheothernoiseandalltheotherstuffthat’sgoingon,butasyouarereallysingle-mindedinpursuingthis,thingsreallydobegintoquietdown.

Ifthere’spaininthebody,youhaveaplacetofocusthat’snotinpain.Asforthethoughts,you’renolongerfeedingthem.Thethoughtskeepcomingbackagainandagainandagainlikestraycatsanddogsbecauseyoufeedthemi.e.,youpayattentiontothem.Evengettingupsetaboutthemwhenyou’retryingtochasethemaway,they’vegotyou.You’vegiventhemfood.Soletthembethere,butyoudon’thavetobewiththem.

Ifyounoticeanytensioninthebodythat’srelatedtothethoughts,letitdisperse.Breatherightthroughit.Anytensionbuildinguparoundyourpain,breatherightthroughit.Noticethatoftenthespotwherethepainisfeltisnotwherethecauseofthepainisintermsofenergyflowinthebody.Sodoalittleexploring.Ifound,forinstance,thatheadachesoftencomefromtensiondowninthelowerback.Paininthekneescanalsobeaggravatedbytightnessintheneck.

Solookaround,useyouringenuity.Andtrytohavethatattitudethatthemindislikeearth.Itcanstickwiththesethingsbutnotgetinvolvedwiththem.Itcanbepresenttothembutnotinvolved.Andwhenyouhavethatkindofsolidity,thenyoureallycanbegintoseecauseandeffectclearlyinthemindasyoutrydifferentapproachesandyouseewhatworksandwhatdoesn’twork.Whenthemindlacksthatsolidityandyouwantthingstobeacertainway,thenwhenthey’renotacertainway,yougetupset.Youdon’treallyseewhatyou’redoing.It’slikescientificequipment:Ifyouputitonawobblytable,thennomatterwhatit’smeasuring,youcan’treallytrustthemeasurementsbecausethewobbleisinthereaswell.Butiftheequipmentisonatablethat’ssolid,andthetableisinabuildingthat’ssolid,thenyoucangetprecisemeasurements.

Sobesolidinyourdeterminationthatwhatevercomesup,you’renotgoingtogetupset.You’renotgoingtogetexcited.You’renotgoingtowobble.You’rejustgoingtowatchandlearn.Meditation,evenifit’snotyetasquietasyou’dlikeittobeorasblissfulasyou’dlikeittobe,isstillameditationwhereyoucanlearn.Andlearningisheadingintherightdirection.

146

TheHearttoKeepGoingOctober26,2016

Whenthetextsgivemapsforthepractice—thiscanbeintheCanonorintheteachingsoftheajaans—theymakeitsoundverysmooth:stepbystep,easy,smooth,one-directionalpractice,alwaysandeverup.Butyoulookatyourownpractice,anditgoesupandcomesdown,upanddown.It’seasytogetfrustratedbythat,butit’snotwise.

Thewiseattitudeistotakethingsonestepatatimeandtorememberthatthemindisacomplexphenomenon.AjaanLeegivesananalogy.Hesaysthatsomepeople’smindsarelikebananatrees—theyhaveonlyoneleaftocreate,sotheygrowveryfast.Largetrees,though,havetocreatelotsofbranchesandlotsofleaves,sotheygrowslowly.Sodon’tcompareyourselfwiththetexts;don’tcompareyourselfwithotherpeoplewhosepracticeislikeabananatreeandseemstobegoingfasterthanyours.Afterall,yourpracticeisyourpractice.Theirpracticeistheirs.Maybeyoursisgoingtobeabigtree.Andwhateverkindoftreeitis,it’sessentialforyourwell-being.

Alsorememberthatwe’renotherejustforthepleasureandtherapturethatcancomewithconcentration.We’rehereforalltheotherskillsthatgointotrainingthemind.Eachtimeyoufindthemindwanderingoffandyoubringitback,that’sstrengtheningaveryessentialskill—theskilltogetyourmindoffabadtopicandbringitbacktoagoodone.Eventhoughthismayhappenmanytimes,thefactthatyou’reabletocomebackmanytimesisagoodsign.

Atthesametime,you’realsodevelopingtheobserverinside,whatinsomecirclestheycallmeta-consciousness—theabilitytowatchyourownmind,toobserveyourownmindfromtheoutside,andnotgetsuckedintoallofitsstoriesandmoods.Themoodsandthestoriesareonething,butyourawarenessissomethingelse.Eachtimeyoupulloutofathoughtworld,youstrengthenthatsenseoftheseparateobserver.Andthat’saveryusefulskillasyougothroughtheday.

Sometimesit’sdifficulttotakethesenseofeaseyougetinmeditationandcarryitoffthecushionbackintodailylife.Sometimesithappenseasily,butsometimesit’shard.Butwhatyoucantake,allthetime,aretheskills—theskillsofnotjustridingwithyourmindinwhicheverdirectionitwantstorun.Andeventhoughitmaystillrunforawhile,thefactthatyou’repullingbackalittlebitispartofrighteffort.

Righteffortisanessentialfactorinthepath—generatingdesire,upholdingyourintent,maintainingyourpersistencetoabandonunskillfulqualitiesthathavearisen.Noticethattheunskillfulqualitiesarethere,andyou’regoingtodobattlewiththem—

147

you’regoingtofigureoutonewayoranothertogetyourselfmotivatedtostickwiththeeffort.

Thisisoneareawheredesireisactuallyahelpfulthing.Thedesiretowanttodothiswellisnotabadthingatall.I’vebeenreadingacoupleofexplanationsofrightresolve,andstrangelyenough,theyinterprettheresolveforrenunciationtomeantheresolvetorenouncealldesires.Butthat’snotwhattheBuddhasaid.“Renunciation”heremeansrenouncingsensuality—themind’stendencytowasteitstimeplanningtomorrow’ssensualpleasures,oryoursensualpleasuresforthenexthour,whatever.Youcangooverthosefantasiesforhoursatatime—thinkingabouthowyouwouldlikethis,howyou’dlikeitlikethat,orno,maybechangethislittlebithere,andsoon.Youcankeepgoingaroundandaroundandaroundthisway,andthemindreallyfeedsonthiskindofthinking.That’swhatwe’retryingtorenounce.Ifyou’reaimingtogetthemindwiththebreath,thatcountsasyourintenttogetawayfromsensuality—yourdesiretogetawayfromsensuality—andyoushouldtrytostrengthenthat.

Thenyoutrytofigureoutwaystoremindyourselfofwhyyou’redoingthis,tokeepyourselfmotivated.Youcanusetheprincipleofheedfulness,realizingthatifyoucan’tgetsomecontroloverthemindnowwhenyou’reinrelativelygoodhealth,relativelysane,whatareyougoingtodo,say,ifpaingetsreally,reallybadandyoustartgettingdelirious?Themindwouldjustjumpforanythingthatseemspleasant.Andyouknowwhathappenstopeoplewhojumpatanything—theyendupjumpingintoplacestheylaterregret.

Youwanttohavesomecontroloverthemindsothatitdoesn’tgoshootingoffintothatarea.Youhavetoremindyourselfofwhyyoudon’twanttogetinvolvedinthewasteoftimethat’ssensualthinking.Partofyourapproachistokeeptryingtodevelopasenseofthepleasurethatcancomefromform,thewayyoufeelthebodyfromwithin.Whetherornotthepleasurecomesautomatically,thefactthatyou’reaiminginthisdirection—tryingtothinkofthebreath,tryingtothinkofthebodyrighthere,rightnow,asyoufeelitfromwithin—that’sallrighteffort.

Asforthecomplainingvoicesthatmaycomeup,sayingthatit’sawasteoftimetomeditate,thatyou’renotgettinganywhere:Youhavetolearnhowtosloughthoseoff,too.Don’tlistentothem.Don’tidentifywiththem.Alwaystrytoidentifywiththeeffort.

AjaanMun,towardtheendofhislife,gaveaDhammatalkaboutgoingintobattlewiththedefilements.Yourdeterminationnottocomebackandbethelaughingstockofthedefilementseveragain:That’sthesoldierinhisanalogy.Thesoldierhastheweaponofdiscernment,andisfedbyconcentration.Butwhatkeepsthesoldiergoingisthatfirmdetermination—afirmdesirenottobefooledbygreed,aversion,ordelusioneveragain.That’syourmotivation.That’syourightnow.Andthemoreyoucanmakethat“you”identifywithallthethoughtsthatclusteraroundthatidentity,theeasierit’llbetoletgooftheotheridentitiesthatwouldpullyouawayandsay,“Well,Ijustwantto

148

meditatealittlebitsoIcanhavesomenicerelaxation.I’dliketohaveanicesmooth,quieteveninginthemindrightnow;Idon’twanttohavetoworkorthinkoranything.”

Actually,though,you’rehereinbattle.You’vegottodobattlewithyourgreed,aversion,anddelusion.Sometimestheygetreallyquiet,anditdoesn’tseemlikemuchofabattle.Othertimes,theycanbereallyhardtofendoff.Soyouwanttoworkontheskills.Youdon’twantanice,pleasant,easymeditation,andjustsatisfyyourselfwiththat.Youhavetoaskyourself,“WhatskillsamIlearning?Somedaygreedorangerwillcomeonstrong,andnowIhavethechancetodeveloptheskillsI’llneedthensothatIwon’tgettakenin.”

Now,eventhoughweareinbattle,wedowantasenseofease.That’swhytheBuddhamakesconcentration—withasenseofeaseandrefreshment—animportantelementofthepath.Butonthedayswhentheeaseandrefreshmentaren’tcomingquickly,youhavetolearnhowtofeedyourselfwithsomethingelse,andtostickwiththatdeterminationnottocomeback—or,attheveryleast,thedeterminationnottobefooledbyyourgreed,aversion,anddelusionagain.Otherwise,they’llfindsomesmooth-talkingwaystofoolyou.That’swhathappenswhenyougiveintothevoicethatsays,“Thisisawasteoftime.Themeditationisn’tgoinganywhere.I’dbebetteroffdoingsomethingelse.”Ifyougiveintothat,theylaughatyou,thedefilements—they’vetrickedyouagain.

Soyouneedanelementofprideinhere,butit’sskillfulpride:theprideofmasteringaskill—aharmlessskill,ausefulskill,askillthatcantakeyousomeplaceyou’veneverbeenbefore.

Now,thisskillmaytaketime,butdon’tthinkabouthowfarawaythegoalisorhowlongit’sgoingtotake.Ifyoudon’taimatthegoal,lifeinsamsaraisgoingtotakeevenlonger,withalotmoresufferingalongtheway.Eachstepyoutake—aslongasit’sintherightdirection—isastepwellmade.Learnhowtoencourageyourselfinthatway.That,too,isanimportantskilltotakeoutofthemeditationandintoyourdailylife.Therewillbetimeswhenyou’llcomeupagainstunexpecteddifficulties—thingsintheworldaregoinginalldirectionsrightnow;whoknowswherethey’regoingtogo?—soyouwanttheskillsofthemindthatsay,“Okay,Icanhandlewhatevercomesup.I’mnotgoingtobeoverwhelmedbyanything.”That’swhatyoulearninthemeditation.

Yourealizethatoneofthebigthingsthatweakenyouisamindthat’soutofcontrol,whereyoujustgiveintowhateveritsmoodis.Whenyoustartsidingwithmoodsthatway,whoknowswherethey’regoingtotakeyou?Buteventhoughthemoodisthere—frustrated,upset,whatever—partofthemindisseparate.Itcanwatchandnotrunalongwiththemood.That’swhatyouneed.Withoutthat,you’relost.

Thisseparateobserverthatwe’reworkingonhere,thatcanpulloutofathoughtatleastforalittlebit,issomethingyouwanttodevelopagainandagainandagain.That’sthebasisforgainingthecontrolyou’regoingtoneedsothatyourminddoesn’ttakeyou

149

placesyoudon’twanttogo.Sorememberthateventhoughthepleasureandrefreshmentareanimportantpart

ofthemeditation,they’renotthewholeofthemeditation.Theskillsyoulearntokeepyourmindundercontrol:Thosearetheessentialparts.Eveniftheydon’tcomequicklyoreasily,thefactthatthey’recomingandthatyou’removinginthatdirection:That’ssomethingthatshouldgiveyouheart—thehearttokeepgoing.

150

SuccessThroughMaturityNovember2,2017

TherearefourqualitiesthattheBuddhasaidcanbringaboutsuccessinthepracticeofmeditation,andinparticular,successinconcentration:desire;persistence,oreffort;intentness;andusingyourpowersofjudgmentwisely.Ofthosefour,threeareomittedinmoderninstructionsinmeditation.Infact,thethreearesaidtobebadinmodernmeditation.Desireisbad.Effortingisbad.Judgingisbad.Eventheideaofsuccessisbad.Andasforintentness,payingattentioncarefullytothepresentmoment,themeaninghaschangedfromthewaytheBuddhausedit.

Alotofthiscomesfromthefactthatmostpeoplearetaughtmeditationonretreatinapressure-cookeratmosphere.Theretreatantscouldhavegoneonvacationsonbeachesoroutinthewilds,butinstead,they’respendingtheirtimeinameditationhall.Sotheywantsomethingtoshowforit.Toavoidexplosionsinthispressurecooker,teacherswillsay,“Havenogoals.Thereisnosuchthingassuccess.There’ssimplythepresentmoment,”whichmaygetpeoplethroughtheweekendortheweekorwhatever,butdoesn’tnecessarilybringthebestresultsinmeditationlongterm.

TherewasatimewhentheBuddhaoncetoldthemonkstopracticebreathmeditation.Andonemonksaid,“Yes,Ipracticebreathmeditation.”TheBuddhaaskedhim,“Whatkindofbreathmeditationdoyoudo?”Themonkreplied,“Iputasidehopesandexpectationsforthefuture,thoughtsaboutthepast,and—equanimousinthepresentmoment—Ibreathein,Ibreatheout.”Whichsoundslikealotofthemeditationinstructionsyoumaygetatameditationretreat.ButtheBuddhasaid,“Well,thereisthatkindofbreathmeditation,butitdoesn’tgivethebestresults.”

Thenhesetforthhissixteensteps,whichareveryproactive.Youmakeupyourmindthatyou’regoingtobreatheincertainways:Breatheawareofthewholebody.Breathecalmingthebreath.Breatheinawaythatgivesrisetorapture.Breatheinawaythatgivesrisetopleasure.Breatheinawaythatsteadiesthemind,gladdensthemind,orreleasesthemind,dependingonwhatthemindneeds.Whatallofthesestepshaveincommonisthatthey’reveryproactive.They’reaimedatgivingrisetocertainstates,gettingthemindintorightconcentration.Thereisapurposetoallthis.TheBuddha’sinstructionsonmindfulness,ifthey’redoneright,gorightthere,torightconcentration.

Onereasonforwhythosebasesforsuccessgotpushedasideanddevelopedabadreputationisthatpeopleareprettyimmatureabouthowtheyapproachtheirdesires,theirefforts,andthewaytheyusetheirpowersofjudgment.Youcan’tteachmaturityinaweek,sotheteacherstrytosidesteptheissueentirely.Butforalong-termpractice,weneedtodevelopmaturity,especiallyinrelatingtoourgoals,realizingthatwe’veset

151

ourselvesalargetaskhere.Toputanendtosufferingrequiresreallyunderstandingthemind,trainingthemind,

bringingthemindintostatesofconcentrationsothatitcanseeitselfclearly.That’sabigtask.Aswithanybigtask,youneedtobematureinhowyouapproachitifyouwanttosucceed.Thefirstrequirementisrealizingthatithastobetakeninsmallsteps,butyouhavetobepersistentintakingthesteps.

Thismeansthatyouhavetohaveanimmediatefocusonthepresentatthesametimeyoutakealongview.Theimmediatefocusisformakingsureyougivefullattentiontowhatyou’redoing.Thelongviewisforlearninghowtoreadtheresultsofyouractionswithoutgettingupsetoversetbacks.Acceptthefactthattherewillbeprogressandregress,backandforth,asyougettoknowtheterritoryofthemind.Youhavetolearnhowtobearthetaskwithpatienceandequanimity,whichdoesn’tmeanthatyoujustsimplyletthingsslide.Itmeansthatyouputinthework,youmaketheeffortrighthere,rightnow,butyouhavetoberealisticaboutthegoalsyou’resettingforyourself,realizingthatthebiggoalswon’tyetappearrighthere,rightnow.Setinterimgoalsforyourselfsothatthetaskisn’ttoooverwhelming,sothatyoucankeepyourdesirenourishedandalive.And,beginningwithdesire,learnhowtobematureinallfourofthesebasesforsuccess.

Maturedesirerealizesthateffectscomeaboutthroughcauses.Ifyousimplysittherewishingfortheeffectswithoutdoingthecauses,nothing’sgoingtohappen.Thatkindofdesiregetsintheway.Ifyou’veevermasteredamanualskill—asport,carpentry,cooking,anythingthatrequirestimeandenergytogetreallygoodatit—you’veprobablylearnedhowtogetyourdesireundercontrol,getitfocusedondoingthestepsright.Whenthestepsaredoneright,theresultswillcome.

Inthiscase,directedthoughtandevaluationarethecauses.Youdirectyourthoughtstothebreath.Youevaluatethebreathsothatit’scomfortable.Ifit’snotcomfortable,youaskyourself,“WhatcanIdotomakeitcomfortable?”Whenitfinallyiscomfortable,“WhatdoIdotomaintainittokeepthatsenseofcomfortgoingallthewaythrougheachin-breath,eachout-breath?”Astheneedsofthebodychange,howdoyouchangethebreathtomaintainthatcomfort?Andthenhowdoyouletitspreadthroughoutthebody,togetthemostuseoutofit?

IntheBuddha’sanalogy,it’slikemixingwaterwithflourtomakedough.Youwantthewatertomoistentheentireballofdoughwithnothingleftover.Soyoukneadthesenseofpleasurethroughthebodyinthesamewayyou’dkneadthewaterthroughthedough.Howdoyoudothat?Youfigurethatout,usingthehelpyoucangetfrompeoplelikeAjaanLeeandAjaanFuang,who’veworkedonthisproblemandofferedadvice.That’sthewayyoufocusyourdesire:ondesiringtomastertheskillsneededtosucceed.Andthenyoutrytomakeyourdesiresingle-mindedherewiththebreath.Anythingelsethatcomesuprightnowisofnointerest,noimportance.That’sthekindofattitudeyouwanttodevelop.Youwanttomakeyourdesirefocused,andfocusedproperlyonthe

152

stepsthatactasthecauses.Asforeffort,realizethattherearemanykindsofrighteffort.There’stheeffortto

preventunskillfulqualitiesfromhappening,theefforttogetridofthemwhenthey’rethere,theefforttogiverisetoskillfulqualities,andtheefforttomaintainanddevelopthemwhenthey’rethere—allofwhicharedifferentkindsofefforts.Youcanaskyourselfwhichkindisappropriaterightnow.Asfortheamountofeffort,itdependspartlyonthetaskathandandpartlyonyourstrengthrightnow:whatlevelofenergyyouhave,remindingyourselfthattheefforthereisnotmusculareffort.It’saneffortinthemind:theefforttoabandonunskillfulqualitiesthathavearisen,theefforttopreventunskillfulqualitiesfromarisingagain,theefforttogiverisetoskillfulqualities,andtheefforttomaintainthemsothattheygrow.

Theseareeffortsofthemindthathavetobecontinuedevenasthingsstartgettingcomfortable.Andthisishoweffortbecomesmature.It’sveryeasyforthemindtostartwallowinginacomfortablethoughtorapleasantthoughtthathasnothingtodowiththemeditation,nothingtodowiththoughtsof“skillful”or“unskillful.”It’salsoeasytowallowinthecomfortcausedbythemeditation.Butthenyouforgetthecauses,andthingsfallapart.Youhavetoworkatmaintainingyourfocus.Remindyourselfthatyoudon’tknowhowmanymorebreathsyouhave.Eachtimeyourheartbeats,it’sonelessbeatbetweenyouanddeath.Soyouwanttousethoseheartbeatswell.Focuseachonnurturingaskillfulcause.

Asforintentness,you’reintent,youpaycarefulattentiontothepresentmoment,butnotinageneralway.Tobematurelyintent,youpayattentionspecificallytowhatyou’redoingandtheresultsofyouractions.Themoresensitiveyouaretowhatyou’redoing,themoreyouseewhereyourunskillfulthoughtsarehidingoutorwhereyoucanimprovethings.

Asforusingyourpowersofjudgment,it’sveryimportantthatyounotjudgeyourselfasameditator.Tobemature,youjudgeyouractions.Judgeyourmeditationasacarpenterwouldjudgeaworkinprogress:impersonally,withthepurposeofmakingitbetter.Whenthingsarenotgoingwell,learnhowtobecriticalinausefulway,i.e.,trytouseyouringenuityforthepurposeofdoingthingsmoreskillfully.Figureout,“What’sgoingwrongandwhatcanbedonetochangewhatI’mdoing?”

ThisisthewaytheBuddhaapproachedhisquestforawakening.Hemadesomeprettybigmistakes:sixyearsofself-torment.Butattheendofthosesixyears,hedidn’tgetdownonhimself.Hesimplysaid,“Well,that’sobviouslynottheway.Theremustbeanotherway.”Hedepersonalizedit.Itwassimplyamatterofactionsandresults.Andthenheusedhisingenuity:“Isthereanotherway?”Hethoughtofthetimewhenhewasyoungandhadspontaneouslygottenintothefirstjhana.Heaskedhimself,“WhyamIafraidofthatpleasure?”—becausethosesixyearsoftormentweredrivenbyafearofpleasure.Nowherealizedthatthepleasureofjhanawasnotasensualpleasure.Itwasaskillfulpleasure.Itcausednoharm.Itdidn’tfogthemind.Itdeservednoblame.Sohe

153

gaveitatry.Solearnhowtotakecriticismwell,bothexternalcriticismandinternalcriticism.

Thecriticism,tobehelpful,isfocusedonactionsandhowyoucanchangeyouractionstoyieldtheresultsyoudesire.Allthesefourqualities,whenthey’remature,centeronthis:realizingthateverythinghastobeunderstoodascausesandeffects,soyoudesiretodothecauseswell.Youputtheeffortintodoingthecauseswell.Youpaycarefulattentiontowhatyou’redoing,sensitivetotheresults.Thenyoutrytofigureouthowtomakethoseresultsbetter.

Thoselasttwoqualitiesarewell-summarizedbyAjaanFuang.I’vesaidmanytimesthatthetwoinstructionshegavemostoftenwhenteachingmeditationwere,“Beobservant,”and,“Useyouringenuity.”Beingobservantisamatterofintentness.Usingyouringenuityisthebestwayofusingyourpowersofjudgmenttogetyourselfpastanimpasse.

Thisishowthesefourqualitiesactuallydoleadtosuccessinthemeditation.YouattainthegoalthattheBuddhatalkedabout.Intheverybeginning,yougetthemindintoastateofrightconcentration.Fromthere,youdevelopinsight,again,bylookingatwhatyou’redoingandbeingsensitivetoyouractionsandtheirresults.Butthesebasesofsuccesshelpnotonlywithconcentration,butalsowiththedevelopmentofdiscernment,becausetheyforceyoutobemoresensitivetowhat’spossible.Andtheyspuryouontowanttokeepsucceedingonhigherandhigherlevels.

AstheBuddhasaid,thetotalendingofsufferingispossible.Listentothat:Total.Ending.It’snotsimplyamatterofbeingokaywithwhatevercomesupandpassesaway.It’snotamatterofloweringyourexpectations.Youraiseyourexpectationsastowhatahumanbeingcando,astowhatyouasahumanbeingcando.Astheysayofmarksmanship,youdon’thitanyhigherthanyouaim.Soaimhigh.Butlearnhowtolivewithahighaiminamatureway,sothatyourimmaturitydoesn’tgetinthewayofattainingthegoalweallwant.

154

LookafterYourMindwithEaseDecember14,2016

“Mayyoulookafteryourselfwithease.”That’sthemessageofthechantwereciteeverynight,everymorning.It’san

expressionofgoodwill.“Lookingafteryourself”refersbothtoyourphysicalandtoyourmentalwell-being.

Physically,mayyoubehealthy.Orifyourhealthisbad,mayitbethesortofproblemthatyouknowhowtotakecareof,anditdoesn’trequiretoomucheffort.

Butmoreimportantly,youwanttolearnhowtolookafteryourmindwithease,sothattheissuesinthemindarenotaconstantstruggle,andyoudon’tneedtobedependingonotherpeopletosolveyourproblemsforyou.Youwanttobeabletoseeaproblemcomeupinthemindandalsotohaveanotherpartofthemindthatcanlookatitandseewhat’swrong,recognizewhat’swrong,andcomeupwithanantidote.

Thatrequirestraining.Andalotofthetraining,alotoflookingafteryourmind,basicallymeansknowinghowtotalktoyourself.

Likerightnow,we’resittinghere,gettingthemindtosettledown.Thisrequiresthatyoudoacertainamountoftalkingtoyourself.Youwanttodoitinawaythat’sskillful,thatactuallydoesbringthemindtoaquieterstatewhereyoucanputallthatchatteraside.

Inthebeginningstages,talkingtothemindisnecessary.Don’tthinkofitasanunfortunateobstacleasyou’retryingtogetthemindconcentrated.It’sanessentialpartoftheconcentrationthatyoulearnhowtoropeinthemind’sthoughtsandgatherthemincloserandcloserandclosertoasenseofstillness.

So,rightnow,talktoyourselfaboutthebreath.Howisthebreathgoing?Isitcomfortable?Wheredoyoufeelthebreathrightnow?Whenyoubreathein,doesitfeellikeyou’refullynourishingyourtorsoallthewaydown?Isitnourishingthenerves?Isitnourishingyoureyes,yourears?

Thinkofthebreathastheflowofenergyinthebody,andaskyourselfwhereitwouldfeelgoodforthatflowtogo.Then,onceitfeelsgood,askyourselfhowyoucanmakeitspreadsothatitsuffusestheentirebodywithasenseofwell-being.That’saskillfulwayoftalkingtoyourself.

Thenyoubegintonoticeatwhatpointthebreathisasgoodasit’sgoingtobe,andit’sgoodenoughtosettledownwith.That’swhenyouputtheinnerchatterasideandjustplowintothebreath.Buttoknowwhenthatpointis:Thatrequiresthatyoutalktoyourself,too.

155

Sothesearesomeskillfulwaysoftalkingtoyourselftogetthemindtosettledown.Thereareothertimeswhenyou’renotinformalmeditation,andyouneedtoknow

howtotalktothemind,especiallywhenit’sgettingobsessedwithsomethingthat’sreallynotgoodforit.HereyourinternalchattercanbeinformedbysomereflectionsonwhattheBuddhahastosayaboutrightspeech.

Tobeginwith,rightspeechgrowsoutofrightresolve,aswechantedjustnow:resolveforrenunciation,resolvefornon-illwill,andresolveforharmlessness.

Intermsofrenunciation:Ifyoufindthatthemindisgettingobsessedwithsensualpleasuresorsensualobjects,ideas,desires,howdoyoutalktoitsothatitcanbegintoadmitthatyoudon’treallyneedthosethings?Otherwise,themindwillkeepsaying,“Ineedthispleasure,Ineedthatpleasure.Ican’tstandnothavingit.”

Youhavetolearnhowtocounterthatjustificationbecause,afterall,youdon’treallyneedthesethings.Youcansurviveperfectlywellwithoutthem.Thereareotherpleasuresthatthemindcanfeedon—likethepleasureofgoodbreathing—thatwillnourishitinamuchmoresubstantialway.

Asfornon-illwill:Wedon’tusuallythinkthatwehaveillwillforourselves,butifyoufindyourselfthinkingaboutgivinguponthepractice,youhavetoaskyourself,“Doyoureallyloveyourself?”Afterall,youstartedthispracticebecauseyourealizedthatyouwerecausingyourselfunnecessarysuffering.Andthisisthepathoutofthatsuffering.Whywouldyouwanttogiveitup?Ifyoureallylovedyourself,youwouldn’tthinkofabandoningit.

Thesamewiththeresolveonharmlessness:Wedon’tliketothinkthatwewouldharmourselves,butwekeepdoingthingsthatarereallystupidbecausewedon’treallycareabouttheconsequences.Wesay,“Lettheconsequencestakecareofthemselves.I’mgoingtodowhatIfeellikedoingrightnow.”That’sapathy,andit’sawayofharmingyourself.

You’vegottothinkdowntheline.AstheBuddhasays,“Askyourself:Whatwouldbeformylong-termwelfareandhappiness.”Whenyoufindyourselftemptedtogiveintoadesiretodoorsayorthinksomethingthatyouknowwouldbebadforyou,askyourself,“HowwillIfeeltomorrowfromhavingdonethis?”RememberthetimesyouwereabletosayNotoyourself,andhowmuchbetteritfeltthenextday.

Sothesearesomeofthelessonsfromrightresolve,whicharealsolessonsfromrighteffort:knowinghowyoumotivateyourselftokeepongoing.

TheBuddhahasalistofwhathecallsthree“governingprinciples,”whicharedifferentwaysofmotivatingyourselftostickwiththepractice.

Firstthere’stheDhammaasagoverningprinciple.YoureflectonwhatagoodDhammathisis,howit’shardtofindanhonestDhammalikethis,andwhyit’dbeashametowanderawayfromit.Inthiscase,youuseasenseofinspirationtokeepyougoing.Thisgoverningprincipleisbasedonasenseofappreciation,asenseofgratitude

156

totheBuddhaforhavingtaughtthisexcellentDhamma.Thenthere’stheselfasagoverningprinciple.ThisconnectswiththatquestionIjust

mentioned:“Doyoureallyloveyourself?”Youseethatyou’resuffering,andalotofthesufferingcomesfromyou.Infact,alltheunnecessarysufferingcomesfromyouractions.Sowhenareyougoingtostop?Ifyouputitofftosomeotherlifetimeorsometimelaterinthislifetime,itwon’tgeteasierwithtime.Ifyou’regoingtoloveyourself,talktoyourselfinwaysthatkeepyougoingrightnow.Thisgoverningprincipleisbasedongoodwill.

Thethirdgoverningprincipleisbasedonasenseofshame.TheBuddhacallsit“theworldasagoverningprinciple.”Youremindyourselfthattherearepeopleintheworldwhocanreadotherpeople’sminds.Supposetheyweretoreadyourmindrightnow:Whatwouldtheythink?Wouldn’tyoubeashamediftheysawtheunskillfulthoughtsthatyou’refeedingonrightnow?

Thesearesomelessonsfromrightresolveandrightefforttokeepinmindasyou’rechattingtoyourselfaboutthepractice,aboutwhereyou’regoinginthepractice,andhowyouwanttostickwithit.

Then,ofcourse,therearethelessonsfromrightspeechitself.AstheBuddhasaid,thethingshewouldtalkaboutwouldhavetobe:1)true,2)beneficial,and3)timely.Youcanapplythesamestandardstoyourthoughts.Ifsomethingcomesupinthemind,askyourself:“Isthisreallytrue?”Somepartsofthemindmightsay,“Yes,it’sreallytrue,”butyouhavetoquestionthem:Towhatextentistheoppositetrue?Whathappensifyouthinkinthatoppositeway?Whichleadsinabetterdirection?

Thisisagoodbrakeonthetypeofobsessivethinkingthatgrabsontoonelittledetail,onelittleidea,andjustrunswithit,withoutanyconcernaboutwhereit’sgoingtogo.Youhavetobeabletocheckyourself:Towhatextentisthisthoughtoutofbalance,evenifitistrue?Andisitreallytrue?Themindcanconvinceitselfofthetruthofallkindsofstupidthings.You’vegottolearnhowtostepbackandquestionthem.

Isawacaseinmyownfamilyyearsbackwhenmyfatherwasgoingthroughaseveredepression.IcamebackfromThailandtotalktohim,andIfoundthatthebestapproachwas,one,nottomentiontheBwordasweweretalkingand,two,tolethimtalk.Afteracoupledaysoftalking,hesatboltuprightinbed,andsaidsomethingthatindicatedwhattherealproblemwas—somethinghehadbeenkeepingtohimselfallalong.Hehadbeenfeelingguiltyabouthisfirstmarriage,tomymother,andnowhewasinvolvedinareallybadsecondmarriage.Butnowhesatupinbedandsaid,“Well,maybeifthismarriagefails,too,it’snotmyfault.”

ThatwaswhathadbeenweighingonhimformonthsbeforeIwasabletogetback.Justlearninghowtoquestionthat—thatthefailureofanothermarriagewouldbehisfault—hegotwellwithinthenextthreedays.

Soyoumayfindthatyou’reobsessedwithsomethingthatyouthinkisreallytrue,

157

someissuethatweighstheminddown,butyoudon’tseeanywayoutofit:You’vegottolearnhowtoquestionit.Sometimestalkingtoyourselfintherightwaycanbringthesethingsoutintotheopenandclearupallkindsofproblems.

Andofcourseevenifthingsreallyaretrue,thenthenextquestionis:Aretheybeneficial?Isitgoodforyoutobethinkingthisthought,talkingtoyourselfinthisway?Whereisthisgoingtolead?Thinkabouttheconsequencesofyourthinking.

Finally,haveasenseoftimeandplace.Whenistherighttimetothink,whenisthetimenottothink,whenisthetimetocomedownhardonyourselfandyourinternalchatter,andwhenisittimetobecomforting?

Oneofthemaindefilementsthatkeeppeoplefromstayingonthepathisatendencytobeovercriticalwiththemselves:“Thisisnogood,that’snogood,Imightaswellgiveup.”That’swhatthemindissaying—that’swhatitsdefilementsaresaying.Butthosethoughtsareneverbeneficial.Thosearethetimeswhenyouhavetotalktoyourselfinacomfortingway.Partofthemindwillobject,sayingthatcomfortingthoughtsarejustPollyanna-ishideas.Butremember,Pollyannadidwell.Shewasn’tthatstupid.

Youlookatallthegreatajaans.Theywerereallygoodatencouragingthemselves.Theyrecognizedtheirfaults,that’sforsure,buttheyalsorecognizedthattheyhadgoodpotentialswithinthem,andtheyfoundthosepotentialswhereotherpeoplemightnothaveseenthem.Afterall,mostoftheajaanscamefromreallypoorfamiliesinaverybackwardareaofThailand.Theydidn’thavemucheducation.Peoplefromoutsidelookingatthemwouldhavesaid,“There’snochance,there’snowaythesepeoplearegoingtogainawakening.”Yettheyfoundthattheycould.Theyprovedtherestoftheworldwrong.

Soyou,too,canproveyourdefilementswrongbydefyingthem.Tellyourself,“There’sgottobesomethinggoodhere,otherwiseIwouldn’thaveeventhoughtofpracticing.”Learntoferretoutyourgoodqualities.

Thisabilitytotalktoyourselfskillfullyishowyoulookafteryourmind.Anditcanmakeallthedifferenceastowhetheryou’llstickwiththepracticeornot.Sobeverycarefulaboutwhatyousaytoyourself.Ifanythingthatthemindistalkingaboutbeginstoseemharmful,questionit.

Becauseanotherthingthatkeepspeoplefrommakingprogressonthepathisgettingobsessedwithanideathatprovestobeharmful.Soyouhavetolearnhowtostepbackfromyourobsessions.Thisisespeciallyimportantasyou’redevelopingpowersofconcentration,becausethestrongeryourconcentration,themoreyoudotendtogetobsessed.Afterall,you’resupposedtobeobsessedwiththebreathrightnow.Butifyou’realert,thebasicmethodgivesyouthetoolsforturningthatobsessionintoakindofbalance.

You’renoticing,astheBuddhasays,whatyou’redoingtofabricateyoursenseofthebodybythebreath,whatyou’redoingtofabricateyoursenseofthemindbytheway

158

youperceivethings—i.e.,bytheimagesyouholdinmind,thewordsyouholdinmindasyoumeditate.Thenyounoticewhatyoucandotocalmthatfabrication—inotherwords,tobringthingsintobalance,sothatacenteredstateofmindissomethingyoucanmaintainwithease,somethingyoucanstickwithforlongperiodsoftimeandnotfeeloutofbalance.

Themoreyougainasenseofbalancewiththisexercise,themoreyou’llbeabletorecognizewhenyourownmindisgettingoutofbalanceinotherareas.

Solearnhowtotalktoyourselfwithease,becausethat’showyoulookafterthemind.

159

InHarmlessnessIsStrengthJuly7,2016

Awhileback,IwasreadingsomeintroductorypamphletsonBuddhism.Andtherewasacommonpattern.TheystartedoutbysayingthatBuddhismisareligionofself-reliance.ThenafewpageslatertheywouldsaythatBuddhismteachesthereisnoself.It’samazingthatanyone,afterreadingthosebrochures,wouldcontinuetobeinterested.

Thefirststatementisactuallytrue.TheBuddhateachesustorelyonourselves.Ifwe’regoingtofindhappinessinlife,wehavetodevelopthequalitiesofthepath:virtue,concentration,anddiscernment.Ortodevelopmeritoriousactivities:generosity,virtue,andmeditation.

Inthecourseofdoingthat,wedevelopaverystrongsenseofself,ahealthysenseofself.Butasthepracticedevelops,wefindthatthesenseofselfbecomesmoreandmorejustaconceptthatweuse,atoolthatweuse.Aslongasithasitsuses,wecontinuetoholdit.It’slikeatoolbox:Therearelotsofdifferentselvesinthere.Someoftheselveswillbeusefulforsometimes;otherswillbeusefulothertimes.

Therecomesapoint,though,whereyoufindtheultimatehappinessandyoudon’tneedanytoolsanymore.That’swhenyoucanputthemalldown.Butbeforeyouputthemdown,you’vegottolearnhowtousethemwell.Otherwise,youcan’tgettothepointwhereyoucanputthemdown.

Theharmlessselvesinyourtoolboxaretheonesyouwanttoencourage,toputtouse.Now,itmayseemironicthatpartofhavingastrongsenseofselfisthatyoutrytomaketheselfasharmlessaspossible.Wetendtothinkofpeoplewithastrongsenseofselfasoftenbeingcarelessintheirtreatmentofothers,butthat’snotgenuinestrength.Themoreyouharmothers,themoreyou’recreatingadebt.Themoredebtsyouhave,theweakeryouare.Sowe’retryingtolivealifethat’sasdebtlessaspossible,whichmeansthatwehavetolookinsidetodevelopthequalitiesweneedforhappiness,sothatweneedtorelylessandlessonotherpeople.Wedevelopourownmindfulness,wedevelopourownconcentration,ourowndiscernment,sothataswegothroughlife—notonlyaswe’resittingheremeditatingbutalsoaswedealwithotherpeople—wecanbeaslightaspossible.

AjaanSuwatusedtomakealotofthispoint.HewassayingtheBuddhateachesalotabouthowthisisnot-selfandthat’snot-self,butthenhegetstothatpassagewechantedjustnow,“Iamtheownerofmyactions.”That’swhatyouwanttofocuson,becausethat’swhereyouareresponsible.Thisisourmotivationfordevelopingthe

160

mind,becauseallouractionsdocomeoutofthemind.Manyofuscometomeditationforrestandrespite.Butwestaybecauseweseethat

oncethemindhasrested,itcanbealotmoreskillfulindealingwithsituationsaroundus.

It’sjustimportantthatyoukeepinmindthefactthataslongasyou’reacting,there’sgoingtobesomeburdenonotherpeople.Forexample,withtheprecepts:Thepreceptagainstkillingcomesdowntotwopoints—youdon’tkillandyoudon’torderotherpeopletokill.Sometimesyouhearitasapreceptoftotalharmlessness.Butthat’simpossible.Evenwhenyouliveaveganlifestyle,it’saburdenonsomepeople:thepeoplewhohavetoworkinthefields,thebugsthatgetsprayed.Evenwithorganicproduce,it’snotthattheydon’tusepesticides.They’vejustinventedorganicpesticides.Theykillallthesame.

Sowetrytolivearelativelyharmlesslifeasbestwecan.Andintheareaswherewedohavecontroloverthings,wetrytobetotallyharmless.Thatkeepsturningusbackonourselves:Wheredowefindthestrengthtomaintainthatharmlessness?Afterall,harmlessnessrequiresalotofcare.Andthethingsweusedtodependonotherpeoplefor:We’vegottofindresourcestoprovidethosethingsfromwithinourselves.

Thisway,wecangobeyondwhat’sjustbrightactionandturnthosebrightactionsintowhattheBuddhacallsactionsthatareneitherdarknorbright.Thosearetheonesthattakeusoutofthecycleentirely.Onlythencanyoubetotallyharmless.

Thisiswhytheysaythearahantsaretheonlypeoplewholiveintheworldwithoutanydebtsatall.They’restilleatingthefoodthatotherpeoplegivethem,butthemeritthatthosepeoplegainfromfeedingthearahantsismultipliedmanytimesover.Eventheanimalsthatwerekilledforthatfood—incaseanimalsgotkilledsomeplaceintheprocess—getmerittoo.Inotherwords,thegoodnessthatthearahantspumpbackintotheworldmorethancompensatesforwhateverburdentheystillplaceonit.Butfortherestofus,we’restillinapositionwherewe’recreatingburdens.Sowewanttokeepthemaslightaspossible.

Now,thisdoesn’tmeanthatyoudon’taccepthelpfromotherpeoplewhentheyvolunteerit.Isawacaseyearsback:aformerpolicemaninSingaporewhowasconstantlyafraidofbeingindebttootherpeople.Hewaslivinginrelativepoverty.He’dretiredfromthepoliceforcetolookafterhismother,andtheywerelivingonaverysmallpension.Agroupofpeoplecameonedaytobringsomefoodtome,andonewomanhadpreparedextrafoodsothatthepolicemancouldtakeithomeforhimandforhismother.Butherefusedhergift,outoffearofbeingindebttoher.Thatoffendedhersomuchthatshecursedhim.Literally.Sheyelled,“Icurseyou!”threetimes.

That’sbeingtooworriedabouthavingdebts.Whenpeoplevoluntarilygiveyouhelp,youacceptit,unlessthehelpisinappropriateinonewayoranother.Butasforappropriatehelp,thoseshouldbethekindsofdebtsyoudon’tmind.It’sthecases

161

whereyou’reimposingonotherpeopleagainsttheirwill:That’swhatyou’vegottowatchoutfor.Andtryyourbesttobeaslightaspossibleontheworldingeneral.

WhentheBuddhatalksabouttheprinciplesofthepracticethathavetodowithotherpeople,theprimaryoneisbeingunburdensome.Tobeunburdensome,youlearnhowtobecontentwithwhatyou’vegot.Andtobecontentwithwhatyou’vegot,you’vegottodevelopyoursourcesfortruehappinessinside.

Sothisissuekeepscomingbacktowhatyou’redoingrighthere,tryingtodevelopasenseofwell-beingthatyoucanfeedoninsidesothatyou’renotfeedingonpeopleoutside.Thisiswhydevelopingthepleasureofconcentrationisnotabadformofclinging.Youmaybeclingingtoit,butyou’reclingingtosomethinggood.It’sagoodattachment.Ifyoudon’thavethisformofpleasure,you’regoingtogosneakingoutandfindingyourpleasureinotherplaces,notallofwhichmaybeskillful,andmanyofwhichareharmfulbothtoyourselfandtoothers.

Solearntodevelopthestrengthofconcentration,thestrengththatcomesfromhavingasenseofpleasureandwell-beingthatyoucanfeedoninside.Now,it’simportantthatyouhavetherightattitudetowardit,asyou’refocusedonthebreath.Inotherwords,youshouldstayfocusedonthebreathandnotonthepleasure.Youfocusonthebreathinawaythatgivesrisetothatsenseofpleasure,butthenyouletthepleasuredoitswork,youdon’thavetogorunningafteritorwallowinginit.Aslongasyou’reproducingit,you’vegotwhatyouneed.Thepleasurewilldoitswork.Youjustallowittospreadaroundthebody.

It’sinthiswaythattheBuddhasaidwhenhewaspracticingausterities,hedidn’tletthepainoftheausteritiesovercomehismind,butwhenhefoundthepleasureofconcentration,hedidn’tletthepleasureovercomehismind,either.Thatdidn’tmeanhestoppeddoingtheconcentration—hecontinueddoingitandgotdeeperanddeeperintoit—buthestayedfocusedonhisobjectevenashekeptproducingthepleasure.

Because,ashesaid,ifyoudon’thavethiskindofpleasure,thenyoukeeprunningbacktothepleasureofsensuality.Eventhoughyoumayknowthedrawbacksofsensualpleasures—youcancontemplatethatlistofthethirty-twopartsofthebody,thatwechantedjustnow,overandoverandoveragain,andthinkaboutalltheotherdrawbacksofsensualpleasures—butifyoudon’thaveanalternative,themind’sgoingtogosneakingoutforabiteofsensualityagain.

Soyou’vegottodevelopthissourceofwell-beinginside.Thisishowyoubecomeharmless.Thisishowyoubecomestrong—becausethestrengthliesintheharmlessness.

WhentheBuddhabegantogetdisillusionedwithhisausterities,herecalledthetimewhenhe’dgottenthemindspontaneouslyintojhanawhenhewasayoungchild.Thefirstquestionheaskedhimselfwas,“WhyamIafraidofthatpleasure?Isthereanythingblameworthythere?”Now,ablameworthypleasurewouldbeonethatcausesharmto

162

otherpeopleandwouldcloudthemind.Therearelotsofpleasuresintheworldthatcloudthemindandharmotherpeople.Butthisdoesn’t.Herealized,asaresult,thatthiswasapleasurehedidn’thavetobeafraidof.Soheworkedonit,developedit,learnedtotapintoitwheneverheneededit.Anditbecamethemainfactorofhispathtoawakening.

Soallowyourselftofindwhatwayofbreathinggivesthemostpleasure,whatwayofsettlingthemindwiththebreathgivesthemostpleasure.Thisisaskillyouneedtodevelopinordertogothroughtheworldbothwithharmlessnessandwithstrength.

163

MettaThroughSamvegaSeptember29,2017

There’sapassagewheretheBuddhatellsofanimagethatappearedtohimbeforehelefthometogooutintothewilderness.Hesawthewholeworldasabunchoffishinasmalldwindlingpuddle,fightingoneanotheroverthatlastgulpofwaterbeforetheywereallgoingtodie.Everywherehelooked,hesawnothingthatwasn’talreadylaidclaimto.Everywherehelooked,therewasnothingbutcompetition.Hewantedtogetout.

Thatimagedescribesthefeelingcalledsamvega,asenseofdismay—oreventerror—overthewaylifeislived,andanurgencytowanttogetoutofit.Butit’salsoausefulimagetoholdinmindwhenyou’rethinkingofspreadingthoughtsofgoodwill.Goodwillisoneoftheguardianmeditations,inthesensethatitguardsyoufromyourowndefilements.Butit’salsonourishment.Andtheimageisuseful,bothtowarnyouabouthowtoguardyourselfandalsohowtogainnourishmentfromgoodwill.

Ontheguardianside,ithelpsyoulookatthethingsthatmightgiverisetoillwillforotherpeople.Andusually,theyallcomedowntothesenseofcompetition.Thoseotherpeoplearegettingintheway.They’redoingsomethingeithertoyouortopeopleyoulove,andthere’sthesensethatyou’rebeingviolatedbytheiractions.Butwhenyoulookattheworldasbasicallyfishstrugglingtogetthatlastgulpofwater,youbegintorealizethatthethingsoverwhichyouwouldcompetewithotherpeoplearenotreallyworthillwill.Thisisn’ttosaythat,aswenormallyliveintheworld,wedon’ttrytomakethingsbetterthantheyare.Buttherearesomanythingsthatyourealizeyoucan’tchange—particularlywhileyou’resittinghererightnow.

It’sveryeasy—whenthemindisquietandyou’reoffbyyourself—tostartthinkingaboutoldwrongs:peoplewho’veharmedyou,theinjusticesyou’vebeensubjectedto.That’swhenit’sgoodtoholdtheimageofthefishinmind:Thethingsyou’recompetingfor,thethingsyou’reupsetabout,arejustthatlastgulpofwater,andtheneverybody’sgoingtodie.Sowhygettiedupinillwill?You’reharmingyourselfifyoudo.Sothat’stheguardianside.

Asforthenourishingsideofgoodwill:Yourealizethatthehappinessyou’relookingfornowasyoumeditateisnotincompetitionwithanybodyatall.Nobody’sstrugglingtogettoseeyourbreath.You’renotfightingwithanyoneelseasyou’retryingtogetthemindtosettledown.It’sallinternal.You’renotharminganyoneandyoucantakejoyinthatfact.Thisisoneofthereasonswhy,whentheBuddhatalksaboutpracticinggoodwill,hesaysithastobebasedonalifeofvirtueandalifewhereyoukeepyoursensesundercontrol—or,ashesays,youkeepyoursensescalm.

164

Inotherwords,you’renotconstantlylookingforthenewestflashyobjectortryingtolistentothelatesttunesthatareattractive.Yourealizethatyourtruehappinesscomesfromwithin.Youdon’thavetokeepsearchingoutside,becausethemoreyou’researchingoutside,themoreyou’regoingtogetintoconflictwithotherpeople.Butifyou’relookingforhappinessinawaythat’sinlinewiththeprecepts—you’renotharminganybodyandyou’renotgreedyforthings—thenit’sahappinessthat’spure.Youcantakejoyinthatfact.Yourgoodwillcanbeagoodwillthat’ssincere.It’snothypocritical.

Ifyou’reharmingpeople,butthenyousay,“Ihavegoodwillforeverybody,”youractionsandyourwordsaren’tinlinewitheachother.Butifyou’reholdingtothepreceptsandfindingyourhappinessinwaysthatareinlinewiththeprecepts,youcantakejoyinthefactthatyou’renotbetrayingyourprofessionsofgoodwill.Noone’scompetingwithyouforyourhappiness.Andthisgivesenergytoyourpractice.

Youcansettledownandshowsomegoodwillforyourselfnowbyworkingwiththebreath,findingawayofbreathingthatfeelsgoodforthebodyrightnow.That’sgoodwillforyourself.Andifyoucanfindthissenseofwell-beinginside,you’regoingtobelesshungryforthingsoutside.Soyou’reincreasingyourabilitytofindhappinessinawaythatdoesn’tgetintoanyconflict,thatdoesn’trequirelayinganyclaim.Youdon’thavetopushanybodyoutofthewayorawayfromsomethingthey’vealreadylaidclaimto.

Soit’sgood,whenyou’respreadinggoodwill,todevelopasenseofsamvegatogoalongwithit.Thatmakesitaloteasiertostepbackfromthethingsthatyouwouldnormallywanttofightover.Youcansay,“Nope,Idon’tneedtofightoverthat.Idon’tneedtohaveillwillforthepeoplewhoaretryingtotakethat—becauseI’vegotsomethingbetterinside.”There’sawholerangeofpotentialsinsidethat,oncethey’redeveloped,canprovideyouwithahappinessmuchbetterthananythingyoucouldfindoutside.

Soyou’redevelopingbothsamvegaandthequalitycalledpasada,orconfidence,thatthisisagoodpath.Andasyoulookatyouractionsandrealizethattheydon’tgetintoconflictwithanybody,yourconfidenceinthepathbecomesmorethanjustconfidence.Itbecomessomethingyoureallyknow.

Soondayswhenyoufindyourselftiedupinthoughtsofillwill,thinkaboutthatimageofthefish,realizingthatyoudon’twanttobeoneofthosefish.Theremustbesomethingbetter.Ifyou’retiedupinthoughtsofillwill,you’relikeafishupsetatanotherfishfortakingthatgulpofwater.Butthen,they’reallgoingtodie.Ifyoucanletgoofyourillwilloutofasenseofsamvega,anddevelopgoodwillinstead,yougetyourselfoutofthepuddleofwater.

Goodwilldoesn’tmeanthatyouhavetolikepeople.Andyou’renotthinkingofgoodwillasamagiccloudthat’sgoingtospreadoutandmakeeverybodyhappy.You

165

simplywantpeopletofindtruehappiness,tounderstandthewaytofindtruehappiness,andtoactuallyhavethewillingnessandstrengthtodothat.InoneofthephraseswheretheBuddhadescribesgoodwill,hesays,“Maythesebeingslookafterthemselveswithease.”You’renotnecessarilysayingyou’regoingtobethereforthem.You’rehopingthatthey’llbethereforthemselves,inlinewiththeprinciplethathappinesscomesfromeachperson’sactions.

Thisway,youcanstepbackfromtryingtogetthatlastgulpofwater.Yourealizethatgoodwillissomethingveryeasytodevelop,eventowardpeoplewho’vetakenallthewateryoumighthavewanted,becauseyouknowyou’vegotsomethingbetter,oratleasttheprospectofsomethingbetter.Andthatthoughtwillmakethemindmoreinclinedtowanttosettledownandbeateasewiththebreathandactuallyfindthat“somethingbetter”within.

166

RightResolveinRealLifeJuly11,2017

Rightresolveandrightconcentrationareverycloselyconnected.Thebeginningofthedefinitionforrightconcentrationsays,“Secludedfromsensuality;secludedfromunskillfulqualities.…”Itreferstotheworkofrightresolve.You’reresolvingtostayawayfromsensualitythroughresolveonrenunciation,whichmeansyou’renotgoingtoletyourselfgetengagedinsensualthinking.You’reresolvedonnon-illwill,i.e.,goodwill.Andyou’reresolvedonharmlessness,i.e.,compassion,sothatyoucanactuallycarryoutthoseresolves.Thosearethebeginningconditionsforgettingintorightconcentration.

Oneofthesuttastalksabouttwotypesofrightresolve:mundaneandnoble.MundanerightresolveisthethreeresolvesIjustmentioned.Noblerightresolvebasicallyisthefirstjhana,whenyou’vesucceededatclearingoutofthemindthingslikesensuality,illwill,andharmfulness.Theconcentrationalsohelpswithyourrightresolve,becausealotoftheseresolvesarenoteasytostickwith.Wecanthinkintheabstractthat,yes,itwouldbeagoodthingtohavethemindfreefromthingslikesensualobsession,illwill,orharmfulness.Butwhenyouactuallystartlivingwithhumanbeingsandputtingupwiththestressesandstrainsofdailylife,it’sveryeasytoslipintosensuality,illwill,andharmfulness.

Thisiswheretheconcentrationhelpsandgivesyouanotherplaceforthemindtofeed,becausethethingsthataregoingtopullusawayfromrightresolvearemainlytwo:painfulfeelingsandharshwords.ThosearethingstheBuddhasaidweshouldlearnhowtotolerate.Inotherwords,youhavetobuilduppatienceandenduranceforthem.Andconcentrationisreallygoodforbuildingupthosequalities.WhentheBuddha’stalkingaboutpatience,it’snotsimplyamatterofgrittingyourteethandputtingupwithhardships.It’slearninghowtofindasenseofpleasureeveninthemidstofhardshipssothatyouhavesomethingtosustainyou.Learninghowtogetasenseofwell-beingasyousettleinwiththebody,settleinwiththebreath:That’sgoodsustenance.

Sothetwofactors,rightresolve,whichisanaspectofdiscernment,andrightconcentration,gotogether.Thediscernmentbeginswiththerealizationthat,asthefournobletruthssay,ifthemindissuffering,it’sbecauseofsomethinginthemind.AnabbotofamonasteryinEnglandwastalkingonetimeaboutanumberofmembersofhiscommunitywhowerecomplainingallthetimeabouttheconditionsinthemonastery:Thiswasn’tright;thatwasn’tright.Andhisanalysiswas,“Theydon’tunderstandthefournobletruths.”Ifyouspendyourtimecomplainingaboutthings

167

outside—evenifyou’renotcomplainingoutloud,justcomplainingtoyourself—you’regoingtomissseeingwhatyou’redoingtomakethesituationintolerableandhardtobear.Andwhenyou’refocusedonthingsoutsideofthemind—thepains,theunpleasantthings—it’sveryeasytowanttogoforsensualthinking.

AstheBuddhasaid,ifyoudon’tseeanyalternativetopainasidefromsensualthinking,that’swhatyou’regoingtogofor:thesensualthinking.Thenyoustartthinkingaboutpeoplewho’vecausedyoupain,who’vesaidnastythingstoyou,donebadthingstoyouortopeopleyouloveorrespectorcarefor,it’sveryeasytofeelillwillforthem.Andthenyouthink,“Okay,oncethey’redown,onceIhavetheopportunity,I’mgoingtogetsomerevenge”:That’sharmfulness.

Soyou’vegottoturnyourthinkingaround,andconcentrationhelpsgiveyouafoundationfordoingthat.Ifyoucancreateasenseofwell-beinginsideandfeedonthat,you’relesslikelytobefeedingonthingsoutsideandlesslikelytobecomplainingaboutthem.Youcannoticethatsomething’snotright,butifit’snotinterferingwithyourinternalfoodsource,it’saloteasiertobearwithit.

Thethingsthatwehavetroublebearingwitharetheonesthatwebringinside,thethingswetrytofeedon.Sometimesyoubringtheminsidesimplybythewayyoubreathe.Yougetupsetaboutsomethingandyourbreathchangesandbecomesintolerable.It’snotthesituationthat’sintolerable.It’syourbreathingthat’sintolerable,butyoulashout.

Soyouconstantlyhavetobeonthelookoutforwhenthebreathchanges.Oneofthereasonswhywepracticehere—sittingwithoureyesclosed,focusingonthebreath—istomakeourselvesmoreandmoresensitivetothisaspectofthebodyanditsrelationshiptoeventsinthemind.Thenwecantakethatsensitivityoutintoourotheractivities,sothatwhensomeonesayssomethingdispleasingorharshornasty,welookimmediatelyatourbreathtomakesurethatthebreathdoesn’tgetaffected.

RemembertheimagetheBuddhataughttoRahulawhenhesaid,“meditatelikewind.”That’sbreathaspartofthewindelement.Itdoesn’tmeanthatyoublowyourmindaround.Itmeansthatwindcanblowdisgustingthingsaround,butthewinddoesn’tgetdisgusted,inthesamewaythatwhenitblowspleasantthingsaround,itdoesn’tgetelated.It’sjustwind.So,whentherearegoodorbadthingsinyourenvironment,trytokeepyourmindjustmind,justawareness.Trytokeepyourbreathonanevenkeel.

Whenyou’vegotthebreathonyourside,that’shalfthebattlerightthere.Otherwise,yourgreed,aversion,anddelusionhijackthebreathandholdithostage.Theysay,“Okay,we’regoingtobemakingalotofunpleasantfeelingshereinyourbodyuntilyoudosomethinginlinewithwhatwewant.Andonlythenwillweletitgo.”That’saprettyhighprice,becausewhattheywantyoutodocanoftenbeveryunskillful.Andyou’llbetheonetopaytheprice,notthem.Sodon’tletthemtakethe

168

breathhostage.Trytobeontopofhowyourbreathingfeelsandlearnhowtobreatheinawaythatfeelsgood,evenwhenthingsarefallingapartaroundyou,becausethatwayyourheadwillbealotclearerinspiteofthesituation,andyoucanthinkofthemostskillfulthingtodo.

Whenyou’renotstabbingyourselfwitheventsaroundyou,youcanfallbackonthemantrawetalkedabouttoday:“Icantakethis.Icantakethis.”Youcansurvivethesethingsbecauseyou’renotbringingthemintowearyourselfdown.Thisdoesn’tmeanthatyou’retotallypassive.Whenyouseesomethingoutofline,somethingthat’sinappropriate,andyouhavetheabilitytochangeit,goaheadandchangeit.Buttherearealotofthingsintheworld,alotofpeopleintheworld,thatareveryhardtochange.

But,astheBuddhapointedout,whenwe’relivingwiththingswedon’tlikeorareseparatedfromthingswedolike,thesufferingisnotinthethingsthatwelikeordon’tlike.It’swiththeclingingandthecraving—whichmeansyou’vegottolookinside.Thisiswhatrightresolvedealswith.Itremindsyouthatcravingandclingingarethethingsyou’vegottowatchoutfor.

Sensualcravingisnumberone.You’vegottobeveryalertandveryattunedtotheharmdonebyalotofyoursensualfantasies.Evenifyoudon’tactonthem,theygetthemindinacertainmood.Itstartsgettingsloppy.Whenitstartsgettingsloppy,thislittleslipdoesn’tmatter.Thatlittleslipdoesn’tmatter.“AllIwantismypleasure.”That’stheattitudeithas.Andthenwhenyoudostartactingoutonthesethings,youcancauseyourselfalotoftrouble.Youcancauseotherpeoplealotoftrouble,too.Sotheconcentrationistheretogiveyouanalternativepleasure.It’sthecombinationofdiscernmentandconcentration,seeingthedrawbacksofsensualityandhavingthisalternativepleasure:That’swhatenablesyoutogetpastthatsloppiness.

Whenyou’redealingwithdifficultpeople,confrontedwithfeelingsofpainandharshwords,havingaplaceofconcentrationreallyhelps.Evenifyoucan’toccupythewholebodyandfillitandsuffuseitwithpleasuredowntoeverylastcell,thefactthatyouhavesomepartofthebodythatyoucanmakecomfortableallowsyoutofindyoursustenancetheresothatyouhavethestrengthtodealwiththepain,thestrengthtodealwiththeunpleasantwords.Becauseyou’vegotthisalternativesourceoffood,you’renotouttherestuffingthosethingsintoyourstomachandthenfindingthattheygiveyouindigestion.

AjaanLeesayswhensomeoneelsespitsoutsomenastywordsandyoutaketheminsidetothinkabout,it’sasifthey’vespitsomethingonthegroundandyou’vepickeditupandareeatingit.Ofcourseyou’regoingtogetsick.Andwhoareyougoingtoblame?Youweretheonewhopickeditup.Soeventhoughpeopleareaimingtheirwordsatyou,youhavetolearnhowtosidestepthemandseethewordsastheirkamma,ashavingnothingtodowithyou,eventhoughthey’resayingyournameoverandoverandoveragain.Justremindyourselfthatthey’reaimingattheirconceptofyou,andthey’renotaimingdirectlyatyou.You’renottheirconceptofyou,sotheycan’thit

169

youatall.InThailand,oneoftheinsultscommonlyhurledaroundistocallsomeoneelsea

dog.Andthedifferentajaanshaveinterestingwaysofdealingwiththat.AjaanFunnsays,“Theycallyouadog.Youlookaround.Youdon’thaveatail.Andtheydon’thavetailseither.Soifyou’readogandtheylooklikeyou,thentheymustbedogsaswell.”OrAjaanLee’swayofsayingit,“Youlookaroundyou.Youknowthatdogsdohavetails.Youlookatyourself.Youdon’thaveatail.Okay,whatthey’resayingisn’ttrue.Butthereisanadvantagewhentheycallyouadog,”headds:“Dogshavenolaws.They’refreetodoastheylike.”

Sowhatevertheinsult,learnhowtolookatitinawaythatgetsyououtofthelineoffireandallowsyoutoseesomehumorinthesituation.Whenyoucanlaughattheirinsults,you’refarawayfromthem.Theycan’thityou.Now,don’tlaughoutloudatthembecausethat’llcausetrouble.Butyoucanlaughtoyourself.

There’sastoryintheCanonwherethemonksarewalkingalongasagroup,andateacherfromanothersecttogetherwithhisstudentarefollowingbehindthem.ThestudentispraisingtheBuddha,andtheteacherisdenouncingtheBuddha.Themonksgotupsetbecauseoftheteacher’sdenunciationoftheBuddha,buttheBuddhatoldthem,“Evenwhenrun-of-the-millpeoplepraiseme,theydon’tknowwhatthey’retalkingabout.SowhyshouldIgetupsetwhenthey’redenouncingme?”Trytodeveloptheattitudethatiftherereallyissomethingtrueaboutwhattheysay,youcanlearn.Otherwise,youjustletitgo.

Youcanlivewithalotofthingsinthisworldandnotgettemptedtodounskillfulthingsinresponse.Becausethat’sthemainproblem:Whenpeopledounskillfulthingstous,there’sanimmediatetendencyforustoturnaroundanddounskillfulthingstothem.Andthatgoesforthingsthatwelikeaswellasforthingswedon’tlike.

Sowe’vegottolearnhowtoresistthetemptationtorespondtotheunskillfulthingsthatwelikeinunskillfulwaysortorespondtotheunskillfulthingsthatwedon’tlikeinunskillfulways.Rightresolvehelpsrightconcentrationbecauseitbringsintheelementofdiscernment.

Simplylearninghowtobreathewell,simplylearninghowtobecalminthefaceofsomething,doesn’tdealwiththewholeproblem.There’sstilltheproblemofthe“I”andthe“me”thatgetsinthewayandfeelsinjuredbythesethings.Ifyoucanlearnhowtotakethoseconceptsaparttoseewhatever“I”youhavedoesn’tneedtobeinthelineoffireandisn’tharmedbytheotherthingsthatotherpeopledotoyou,thenyouputyourselfinapositionofsafety:safenotonlyfromwhattheysay,butalsofromyourownpotentialunskillfulreactions.

Thatway,youreallycancarryrightresolveintotheworldwithallofitsmessinessandkeepyourresolveintact.Thisprincipleappliestoallthefactorsofthepath.They’renotdesignedsimplyforsituationswherepracticeiseasyandconditionsaregood.

170

They’remeanttobefollowedallthetime:whenthey’reeasy,whenthey’rehard,whentheworldoutsideissupportingyou,whentheworldoutsideisnotsupportingyou.Youwanttohavethewherewithalintermsofyourvirtueandyourconcentrationandyourdiscernmenttoprotectyourpath,i.e.,toprotectyourthoughts,yourwords,andyourdeedstokeeptheminlinewithwhatyouknowwillultimatelyleadtotruehappiness,tothetrueendofsuffering.Whenyoukeepthatgoalinmind,yourealizethatalotoftheotherbaggagethatyoutendtocarrywithyouisanunnecessaryburdenandyoucanletitgo.

171

TheNobleTruthsComeFirstMarch20,2017

Wemeditatebecausethere’sstressinourlives.Theword“stress”heretranslatesthePaliterm,dukkha,whichcanmeananythingfromverysubtlelevelsofstressallthewaytoverydeepsuffering.Sowhetherwefeelalotofsufferinginourlivesorjustalittlebitofstress—howeveryoutranslatetheterm—that’stheproblemthatmakesuswanttocomeandmeditate,tostraightenoutthingsinside.AstheBuddhasaid,thereasonwesufferisnotbecauseofuncomfortableorunpleasantthingsoutside:sights,sounds,smells,tastes,tactilesensations.It’sbecauseofwhatwebringtothesethingsfromtheinside:That’swhywecansufferevenfrompleasantthings.Wesuffer,wefeelstress,becausewecling.Infact,theclingingisthesuffering.

Thewordclinging,upadana,canalsomeanfeeding.Wefeedonthings.Andheretheword“feeding,”ofcourse,meansnotjustphysicalfeeding,butalsomentalandemotionalfeeding.Tobeinapositionwhereyouhavetofeedisaveryunstableposition.Youalwayshavetoworryaboutyoursourceoffood.That’swhyclinging—feeding—issufferinginandofitself.

Themindhasasenseoflack.Becauseofthelack,itwantstofillitup.Youfillitupalittlebitandthenitgrowsemptyagain.Ourintestinalsystem,forinstance,isnotasac.It’satube.Whatevercomesin,goesout.Andthesamewiththemind’sintestinalsystem:Thingscomeinandgiveusalittlebitofpleasureandthenthepleasure’sgone.Wewantsomethingnew,somethingnew,somethingnewallthetime.

Soit’sabadpositiontobein,havingtofeed.Becauseweidentifyourselvesasabeingofonekindoranother,thatbeinghastofeed.Andthenthefeeding,ofcourse,createsoursenseofwhoweare:thewaywefeed,whatwefeedon.It’saviciouscycle.

Wemeditatetogetoutofthis.We’regoingtoworkdirectlyonourminds,becausetheproblemisinthemind.It’snotoutthere.Sofocusonwhatyourmindisdoing.Seeifyoucanbringthemindtoastateofstillness,sothatyoucanhaveasenseofsatisfactionbeinghere.Oneofthereasonswefeelsohungryforeverythingandsooverwhelmedbyallthechoicesoutthereisthatwehavethislimitlesssenseofdissatisfactioninside.AstheBuddhasaid,evenifitrainedgoldcoins,itwouldn’tsatisfyourdesiresforsensuality.Andthatcoversjustonekindofdesire.Therearelotsofotherdesireswehave,lotsofotherhungerswehave.Sotrytogetasenseofsatisfactioninbeingrighthere.

Allofwhatwe’redoingherefallsunderthefournobletruths.Weseethatthere’ssufferingandthatitscauseisinthemind.Andthesolutionhastolieinthemindas

172

well.It’salwaysimportanttorememberthatthefournobletruthsformtheframeworkfor

rightview,inotherwords,therightunderstandingaboutwhatwe’redoing.Thisisapointthatalotofpeoplemiss.

Formostpeople,thethreecharacteristicsarerightview.That’stheframework,andthenthefournobletruthsgetinterpretedinsidethatframework.Inotherwords,theysaythatwesufferbecausewedon’trealizethatthingsareinconstantorimpermanent,orbecausewedon’trealizethatthere’snoself,whichisoneoftheinterpretationsofanatta.Ifwe’donlylearnthetruthofthesethings,thenwewouldn’tsufferanymore.Wewouldn’thaveanyunrealisticexpectationsandwe’dbecontenttojustacceptthewaythingsare.That’swhattheysay,butthatwouldn’tsatisfythemind’shungers.

Themindishungry.Ifyoucouldletgoofyourclingingandcravingsimplybyseeingthatthingsareinconstant,stressful,andnot-self,itwouldbelikesayingthatbecausefoodisinconstant,stressful,andnot-self,andyourstomachisinconstant,stressful,andnot-self,you’regoingtocontentyourselfwithnoteatinganymore.Ifyouactuallytriedthat,you’dstarve.Orbeforeyoustarvedtodeath,you’dprobablysay,“Enoughofthat,”andgobacktoeatingagain.That’sthewaythemindworks.Nomatterhowmuchyoutellyourselfthatthesethingsouttherearenotsatisfactory,yousay,“Well,that’sallI’vegot.”Andsometimesthat’showBuddhistwisdomisinterpreted:awillingnesstoacceptthat“Well,thisisallwe’vegot,solet’ssatisfyourselveswithwhatwe’vegot.”

ButtheBuddharealizedthatthehungersofthemind,andthedamagetheycause,runalotdeeperthanthat.Soinsteadofplacingthethreecharacteristicsfirst,heputthefournobletruthsfirst,andthenthethreecharacteristics—whichareactuallynotreallycharacteristics;hecalledthemperceptions—findtheirrolewithintheframeworkofthefournobletruthsandthedutiesappropriatetoeach.

You’vegottocomprehendsuffering.You’vegottoabandonitscause.You’vegottorealizethecessationofsuffering.Andthenyou’vegottodevelopthepathtoitscessation.Thesearedutieswehavetodo—dutiesnotinthesenseofbeingimposedonusfromoutside,butdutiesthataresimplybuiltintothewaythingsare,thewaysufferingworksandthewayitsendisgoingtowork.Ifyouwanttoputanendtosuffering,thisiswhatyou’vegottodo.Ifyoudon’twanttoputanendtosuffering,you’refreetogoanywhereanddoanythingyoulike.Butsufferingisstilleatingawayatyou,sowhenyou’vehadenoughofit,there’snootherwaytosolvetheproblemasidefromfollowingtheseduties.

Thefirstthreedutiesrevolvearounddispassion.Inotherwords,tocomprehendsufferingistoseeexactlywhatistheclingingthatconstitutesthesuffering.Andwhydowelikethatclinging?We’refeeding.Wefeelthatwegetoursatisfactionoutoffeeding,buttheBuddhawantsyoutoseethatthere’ssufferinginherentinthefeedingandto

173

reallycomprehendthatsufferingtothepointwhereyoufeeldispassionforthewholeprocess.

Thenyoulookforwhyyou’reclinging.It’sbecauseyou’rethirsty.Youcrave.That’swhatyou’vegottoabandon,which,again,youdobydevelopingdispassionforthecraving.That’swhatbringsaboutthecessationofsuffering.Thedispassionitselfiswhatputsanendtosuffering.Andhowareyougoingtobringthatabout?Throughdevelopingthepath.Thepathdoesthisbygivingyouanalternativesourceoffood:thepleasure,therapture,thesenseoffullness,therefreshment,thatcancomefromgettingthemindintoconcentration.Youwanttobeabletotapintothisrefreshmentbecauseit’sgoingtobeyourfoodonthepath.Andthisistheonedutythatdoesn’timmediatelyhavetodowithdispassion.

Infact,you’vefirstgottohavesomepassionforyourconcentration.Youwantdispassionforthecraving.Youwantdispassionfortheobjectsthatyouclingto.Thatdispassionisthethirdnobletruth.Buttoseethesethingssothatyoucandevelopdispassioninthosewaysmeansthatyou’vefirstgottohavepassionforthepath.Thisisonecasewhereyou’renotgoingtojustsay,“Myconcentrationisinconstant,stressful,not-self.I’llletitgo.”You’reactuallyfightingagainstthosethreeperceptions.

Youwanttomakethemindasconstantandaseasefulandasmuchinyourcontrolasyoucan.And,atthisstageofthepath,youapplythosethreeperceptionstootherthings:anythingthatwouldpullyouawayfromthepracticeofvirtue,thepracticeofconcentration,orthepracticeofdiscernment.Youseethosedistractionsasinconstant,stressful,not-self.Theseperceptionsaretheretodevelopasenseofdispassionforthem.

It’sonlywhenthepathhasreallycompleteditswork—inotherwords,it’sfullydeveloped—thatyouthenletthatgo,too.Thenyouapplytheperceptionstotheconcentrationitself.Whenyoucanletgooftheconcentration,alongwiththeotherfactorsofthepath,yougobeyondthemtowhattheBuddhacallsthepropertyofthedeathless.Andifyouhavepassionforthat,youdon’tgetfullyawakened.Butthefactthatyou’vetoucheditmeansthatyou’reawakenedtosomeextent.

Thisiswhereit’simportanttorealizethatthethreecharacteristics,orthethreeperceptions,don’tcovereverything.Inotherwords,thisdeathlessisnotinconstantandit’snotstressful.Butstill,theBuddhasaysyou’vegottoletgoofit.That’swhyhesaysSabbedhammaanatta,notjustsabbasankharaanatta:Notjustallfabrications,butalldhammas—allphenomena,fabricatedornot—arenot-self.That’stheperceptionyouapplytothatexperience.That’swhenyou’retotallyfree.Youcandevelopdispassionforthat,too.

Thatmayseemlikeasubtleissue:Whichcomesfirst,thefournobletruthsorthethreeperceptions?Itmaysoundlikeit’sapplicableonlyattheveryendofthepath,butit’simportanttokeepthisperspectiveinmindallalongtheway,fortworeasons.Thefirstistoremindyourselfthattheproblemisnotsimplywiththeobjectsofyour

174

awareness.It’swithhowyourelatetothem.Thesecondisthat—ifyoucomeupwithanythingthatseemsconstant,seemspermanent,likeagroundofbeingofsomekind,orsomedeepinterconnectedness,aoneness,non-duality—youhavetoaskyourself,“Areyoustillclingingtoit?”Ifyou’reclingingtoit,ifthere’sanysenseofidentityinthereatall,there’sgoingtobesuffering,nomatterhowconstanttheobjectmayseem.Thefactthatyou’reinapositionwhereyou’retryingtofeedonit:That’swherethesufferinglies.

Sohavingtheseframeworksproperlysortedouthelpsgetyoupastthosekindsofwrongrelease,astheBuddhawouldcallthem.Inotherwords,youthinkyou’rereleasedbutyou’renot.Youthinkyou’vereachedsomethingreallypermanentbutyouhaven’t.Sothisisyourprotection.

Also,ofcourse,there’sthewholequestionofhowtointerpretthosethreeperceptions—thetendencytomakethemmetaphysicaltruths,i.e.,characteristicsofthings-as-they-are,especiallyifyougettothequestionof“Isthereaself?Istherenoself?”TheBuddhacallsthosequestions“athicketofviews,awildernessofviews,acontortionofviews,awrithingofviews.”Inotherwords,yougetentangledinthebrushandthethornsofftothesideofthepath.

Ifwehadtospendallourdaysarguingastowhetherthereisorisn’taself,we’dneverbeabletopractice.Wewouldn’thavethetime.Wewouldn’thavetheopportunity.Butifwesee“not-self”simplyasaperception,alabelthatyouapplytothingswhenyouneedtodevelopdispassionforthem,thennot-self,insteadofbeingathicket,isactuallyamacheteforcuttingthroughthethicket.Itdevelopsdispassion,andwhenthedispassionhasdoneitswork,youcanputthelabelsdown.

TherewasacontroversyyearsbackinThailandastowhethernibbanawasselfornot-self.TheissuegotsopoliticizedthatitmadeitswayintothenewspapersandonTV.SosomeoneaskedAjaanMahaBoowawhethernibbanawasselfornot-self,andheanswered,“Nibbanaisnibbana.”Inotherwords,youdon’tapplyeitherofthoseperceptionstonibbana.It’ssomethingbeyond.Butthat’sbecauseitistotaldispassion.There’snoclingingthereatall.

Sotheclingingissuffering,notbecauseweclingtoimpermanentthings,butbecausejusttheactofclinginginandofitselfentailssuffering.

Keepthatinmindbecausethat’swhatwe’reworkingonaswepractice.You’regoingtoclingtothemeditation.That’sfineforthetimebeing.RememberAjaanChah’sexample:Comingbackfromthemarket,you’vegotabananainyourhand,andsomeoneasksyou,“Whyareyoucarryingthebanana?”Yousay,“Iwanttoeatit.”“Areyougoingtoeatthepeel,too?”“No.”“Thenwhyareyoucarryingthat?”AjaanChahsays,“Howareyougoingtoanswerthem?”Ashesaid,youanswerthemoutofdesire,yourdesiretogivetherightanswer.Andthat’swhatgivesrisetothediscernmentthatallowsyoutosay,“Thetimehasn’tcometoletgoofthepeel.IfIletgoofthepeelnowandheldthebananafleshinmyhand,it’dbecomemush.”

175

Soyouhavesomepassionforyourpracticeasyoutry,atthesametime,todevelopdispassionforthingsthatwouldpullyouaway.Youapplythethreeperceptionswhereveryouneedtodevelopthatsenseofdispassion.Whenthepathisfullydeveloped,thenyoucanfosterdispassionforthat,too.Becausethat’swhatwe’reworkingon:thewaythemindrelatestothings,tryingtofeedonthemallthetimeoutofasenseofpassionforthem.We’resuchcompulsivefeedersthatevenwhenwehaveourfirstexperienceofthedeathless,we’regoingtotrytofeedonthat,too.We’relikealittlebabywhocrawlsaroundandseeseverythingasstufftoputinhismouth.

Butwhenyoufindthatthereissomethingwheretherereallyisnoclinginginit,therereallyisnosenseofhunger,that’swhenyourealizethatthefeedingwastheproblemallalong.Andthat’swhenyoucanputeverythingdown.

Soremembertokeeptheframeworkandthecontentsoftheframeworkintherightorder.Thethreeperceptionsaretherejusttohelpyouwithintheframeworkofthedutiesofthefournobletruths.Thefournobletruthscomefirstbecausetheyalertyouastowheretherealproblemis.Ifyoukeepyoureyesonthat,thenit’shardtogowrong.

176

ThePowerofTruthMay23,2016

OneoftheBuddha’sinsightsisthattruthsdon’tjustrepresentthewaythingsare.Inotherwords,they’renotjustanactofreporting.Theyalsoinciteaction.Theyhaveapower.Certaintruthswillmakeyoudothings,allowyoutolookatthingsinacertainway,whichwillthenallowyouorcompelyoutoact.

Thisisoneofthereasonswhythenobletruthsarenoble,becausetheygetyoutoactinanobleway.TheBuddhawasn’tinterestedinsimplysayingthingsthatweretrue.Asyoumayremember,hisstandardforthethingshewouldsaywasthattheybetrue,beneficial,andtimely.Thebeneficialparthadtodonotonlywiththemeaningofthewords,butalsowithwhattheywouldgetyoutodo.

Andthisisoneofthereasonswhythetwowords,Dhammaandattha,gotogethersooftenintheCanon.Atthaisnotonlythemeaningofthewords,butalsothegoaltowhichtheyaim,theprofitandbenefitstheybringabout.Sowhenyouaskabouttheatthaofateaching,you’reaskingbothaboutthemeaningofthewordsandaboutwheretheylead,whattheirpay-offis.Whatisthistruthfor?Whatgooddoesitdo?Whatdoesitleadyoutodo?Truthshavepower.Theydoleadinacertaindirection.

Therearelotsoftruethingsyoucansayaboutrealitythatcanactuallybecontradictory—oratleasttheysoundcontradictory.Therearewaysyoucanlookattheaggregatesandsaythatthey’restressful,andyettheBuddhaalsoadmittedthatthereispleasureintheaggregates.Youcan’tsaythey’re100%stress.So,thequestionisthen,whichtruthareyougoingtofocuson?Andthat’sansweredbyaskingwhattheresultisgoingtobe.Whatisitgoingtogetyoutodo?Ifyoufocusonhowpleasanttheaggregatesare,you’regoingtoholdontothem.Ifyoufocusontheirstressfulside,thenyou’regoingtodowhatyoucansoasnottobetrappedbythem.

Thenobletruthsarenoblenotonlybecausetheygetyoutodonoblethings,butalsobecausetheygetyoutoanobleattainment.TheBuddhatalkedabouttwokindsofsearchesinlife.There’sthesearchforhappinessinthingsthatwillchange.Hesaidthatthere’snothingnobleaboutthat.Andthenthere’sthesearchforhappinessinthingsthatdon’tchange—noaging,noillness,nodeath.Thatkindofsearch,hesaid,isnoble.

Tohelpwiththatsearch,welookatthingsintermsofthefournobletruths.Therearecertaindutiesthatgoalongwiththem,andwhenwefulfillthoseduties,they’lltakeustosomethingdeathless.Thatexperienceofthedeathlessiswhatguaranteesthattheyreallyaretrue,andreallyarenoble.Wemightlookatthetruths,thinkaboutthem,anddecidethat,yes,theyseemreasonable.ButastheBuddhasaid,justbecausesomething

177

isreasonabledoesn’tmeanthatitreallyistrue.Thefactthatthey’rereasonablesimplyaidsingivingusconfidenceorconvictionintheirtruth.That’soneofhisobservationsthatgoagainstourunderstandingintheWestthatthingslikeconvictionorfaithareopposedtoreason.Wehavethatbeliefbecausethere’samajorreligioninoursocietythatextolsthingsyouhavetotakeonfaitheventhoughtheygocontrarytoreason.That’swhywethinkthatreasonandfaitharetworadicallydifferentthings.

But,astheBuddhasaid,justbecausethefournobletruthsseemreasonable,itdoesn’tnecessarilymeanthatthey’retrue.Therehastobeafurthertest.Theirreasonablenessiswhatgivesyouthefaithandconvictionthatthey’reworththetest.Ifsomethingdoesn’tmakesense,ifitcontradictsitself,itdoesn’treallyinviteyoutotestwhetherit’strue.Butifsomethingseemsreasonable,itseemsworthyofthetest.

Soyouputittothetest—andyouputyourselftothetest,too,becausethesetruthsdemandalotofyou.Theydemandthatyoulookatyourthoughts,yourwords,andyourdeeds—andparticularlyyourthoughts—inawaythatoftenwillrequireyoutoletgoofthingsyoureallylike.That’sbecauseyoulearnhowtolookatthethoughtsaspartofacausalprocess.Whenyouthinkinthisparticularway,wheredoesitlead?Whenyouthinkinadifferentway,wheredoesitlead?Thisiswhat’sspecialaboutthenobletruths:Theyfocusonthisprocessofwhatthemindisdoingwiththetruth.Inthisway,theycontaintheseedsfortheirowntranscendence.

There’sapassagewhereAnathapindikaistalkingtoagroupofwanderers.HewantedtoseetheBuddha,butitwastooearlyinthemorning—theBuddhaandthemonkswereoutontheiralmsrounds—sohegoestotalktosomewanderersinstead.Theyaskhimfirstoff,“WhatdoestheBuddhabelieve?Whatarehisviews?”Andit’sinteresting.Here’sAnathapindika,who’sastream-entererbythattime,he’salreadyseenthedeathless,andyethesays,“Idon’treallyknowtheextentoftheBuddha’sviews”—remembering,ofcourse,thatwhattheBuddhataughtwasjustahandfulofleaves,asopposedtotheleavesoftheforest,whichwereallthevarioustypesofknowledgehegotinhisawakening.

Sothewanderersaskhim,“Inthatcase,whatdoyoubelieve?Whatareyourviews?”Andhereplies,“I’llbehappytotellyoumyviews,butfirstyoutellmeyours.”Andsothedifferentgroupshavetheirdifferentpositions.Somesaythattheworldiseternal.Somesayit’snoteternal.Somesayit’sfinite;somesayit’sinfinite.Thebodyisthesamethingasthesoul;thebodyisdifferentfromthesoul.AfterthedeathofaTathagatayoucansayeitherthatheexists,orhedoesn’texist,orboth,orneither:thestandardlistofpositionsonthehotphilosophicalissuesoftheday.

AsAnathapindikathenpointsout,eachparticularviewisstressful.It’sinconstant,it’sput-together,andeverythingthat’sinconstantandput-togetherisgoingtoleadtostressifyouholdontoit.Soasyouclingtothatview,youclingtostress.

Afterthat,theysay,“Okay,what’syourview?”Andsohesays,“Whateveris

178

inconstantandput-togetherisstressful.Whateverisstressfulisnotme,notmyself,notwhatIam.”Theysay,“Well,you’reholdingontothat.You’reclingingtothat.Soyou’regoingtosufferfromthat,too.”Hesays,“No,followingthisview,Iseetheescapefromit.”That’sbecauseitfocusesyoubackontheprocessofhowyourelatetotruths,andhowyourelatetoyourviews,soitenablesyoutoletgoofitwhenyounolongerneedit,whenitleadstonothingbutstress.Andinthelettinggo,that’swhenitleadstothedeathless.

Sothesearespecialviews,andthey’respecialbecauseoftheirpower.Theyleadyoutoacertainkindofaction.Theyleadyoutolookatyourownmindcarefully.Whatareyoudoing?Howdoyourelatetoyourthoughts,words,anddeeds?Howdoyourelatetoyourbeliefs?Howdoyourelatetoyourpracticesandallthethingsthatwetendtoclingto?Whataretheresultsofthatclinging?Howcanyoulearnhownottoclingtothem?Weneedcertainviews,andweneedcertainhabitsandpractices,andevencertainassumptionsaboutourselves,inordertopractice.Buthowdoyouusethesethingssotheydon’tjustkeepyoutrapped?Whenthey’vedonetheirwork,howcanyoulearntoletgo?

Inthebeginning,youlearnnottoprideyourselfonyourviewsoryourhabits.Youdon’tbragaboutthemandyoudon’tgetintoneedlessargumentswithpeopleaboutthem—becausewhenyougetintoarguments,there’salwaysthequestionofwhowinsthearguments,andthatleadstoacertainamountofpride,andthatpridewillcauseaproblem.Yougetintoargumentsonlywhenyouseethatthere’sachancetocorrectaviewthatcausesharmtothepersonholdingit.So,avoidingneedlessargumentsis,onthebeginninglevel,howyoubegintousethesepartsofthepracticewithoutbeingtieddowntothemandwithoutusingthemtocreateneedlesstroubleforyourself.

Remembertheimageofthesnake.AstheBuddhasaid,youtrytograspasnake,andifyougraspitwrongly—inotherwords,yougraspitbythetail—it’sgoingtobiteyou.Ifyougraspitrightly,thenit’snotgoingtocauseanytrouble.Youtakeaforkedstickandyoupinitdownrightbehinditshead.Andnomatterhowmuchitmaywrithearoundthestick,orevenaroundyourarm,itcan’tdoyouanyharm.

Butnotice:Inbothcases,you’reholdingthesnake,butinonecaseyou’reholdingitinawaythatdoesn’tcauseyouanyharm.Theviewsarethingsthatyouhavetoholdonto,butyouneedtolearnhowtoholdontothemproperly.Youholdtothesetruthsinaproperwaybecausetheyleadyoutosomethingbeyondthem—ifyou’reholdingthemproperly.Somepeoplewouldsay,“Whynotjustavoidhavinganyviewsatall?”Well,thatwouldbelikenotholdingthesnakeatall.Andifyoudon’tholdthesnake,howareyougoingtogettheadvantagethatyoucangetfromsnakes?Ifyoucangettheirvenom,youcanuseittocreateanti-venom.Ifyoudon’tholdontothesnakeatall,you’renotgoingtogetanybenefitfromit.Soyoudohavetoholdon.It’ssimplyaquestionofhowyouholdon.

Youhavetorememberthatyou’reholdingonforthepurposeofgettingpast

179

suffering.That’swhatthefournobletruthsallkeeppointingto,simplylayingthingsout:There’ssufferingandthereisitscause.There’sacessationofsufferingandthereisapathtoitscessation.Thecessationisobviouslywhereyouwanttogo.Inthatway,thetruthsgiveyouagoal,theygiveyouanattha,apurpose.Andtheygetyoutoacttowardthatpurpose.That’stheirattha,too.That’sthepowerofthesetruths.Thentheyrevealtheirpowerinbeinggenuinelytrueandnoblewhentheyleadtoarealexperienceofthedeathless.

Whenthatcomes,younaturallyputthemaside,becauseyourealizethattalkingaboutthedeathlessorhavingviewsaboutthedeathlessisonething,butactuallyexperiencingitissomethingelse.Theexperienceiswhatyou’regoingfor.Andtheexperienceissuchthatyoudon’tneedthewordstostaywithit.Itstaysonitsown.

Sowhenyouconsiderthevarioustruthsintheworld,you’llnoticethatsomehavealotofpower,andsomehaveverylittlepower.Certainfactsyoucanlearnandtheydon’thaveanyimpactonyourbehavior.Thosearethingsthataretrue,butnotnecessarilybeneficial.Thentherearecertaintruthsthat,ifyouactonthem,aregoingtoactuallycausetrouble.Thosearenottruthsyouwanttogetinvolvedwithinanywayatall.

Whatyouwantaretruthsthataretrue,andbeneficial,andrightforyouatthistime.Andthenobletruths,astheBuddhasaid,arecategoricallytrue.Inotherwords,theyarealwaystrue.Theyalwaysapplytoeverysituation.Solearnhowtoapplythemintherightwaysothattheycanreallyrevealtheirpower,thepowerthatmakesthemnoble.

180

ToSufferIsanActiveVerbAugust22,2018

Whenwesaythatwesuffer,weusuallythinkthatwe’reonthepassivereceivingendofthesuffering.It’ssomethingimposedonus,somethingtowhichwehavetosubmit.Insomeofourmorematuremoments,werealizethattherearetimeswhenwe’readdingtoourownsuffering,butwetendtoseethismoreclearlyinotherpeoplethanweseeitinourselves.Thisisoneofthereasonswhy,whenwecometothefournobletruths,theBuddha’sanalysisofsuffering,wehavetotakethemonfaith—because,inhisanalysis,tosufferisanactiveverb.It’ssomethingwe’redoingactively.It’sachoicewemake.It’sachoicewemakebadly,outofignorance.Thesufferingisintheactivityofclinging.

TherewasascholarlybookawhilebackthatanalyzedtheBuddha’sfirstnobletruthasifsufferingwerethefiveaggregates.Theauthorwentontosaythat,becausethefiveaggregatescoverallofourexperience,maybetheworddukkhadoesn’tmean“suffering.”Maybeitmeans“experience.”Otherpeoplehavetakenthatideaandhaverunallovertheplacewithit.ButwhatthescholarsaidwasnotinlinewithwhattheBuddhasaid.Suffering,hesaid,isthefiveclinging-aggregates.Wherethereareaggregateswithoutclinging—say,inanarahant—there’snosuffering.Evenwhenthere’spainintheaggregates,thearahant’smindisn’tsuffering.It’stheactofclingingtothesethings,outofpassion,outofdelightinthembecausewefindthemalluring:That’sthesuffering.

Andit’ssomethingwe’redoingrightnow.ThisisoneofthereasonswhytheBuddhadoesn’thaveustrytogobackintothepastandask,“WhatdidIdotodeserveanillness,amentalstate,asituationinlife?”Hesaidthatifyoutriedtotraceallthosethingsback,you’dgocrazy.Infact,hesaid,youcan’ttracebackandfindabeginningpointfortheignorancethatunderliessuffering.Butyoucanseewhatyou’redoingtosustainitnow.

Sowe’renotheretofindthebeginningpointsofthesethings.We’reheretofindouthowwe’resustainingthem,howwekeepthemgoing.That’ssomethingwe’redoinginthepresentmoment,whichmeansit’ssomethingwecanwatchinaction.

Thisisoneofthereasonswhythequalityofalertnessinmindfulnesspracticeisfocusednotonthepresentmomentingeneral,onwhateverhappenstopopupinthepresentmoment,butspecificallyonwhatyou’redoingandtheresultsofwhatyou’redoing.That’swherealertnessisfocusedbecausethat’swheretheproblemlies—andalsowherethepotentialforthesolutionlies.

Welooktoseethelevelofsufferinginthemind,andthentrytoseehowit’s

181

connectedwithwhatwe’redoing.TheBuddhasaystowatchittoseeitgoupanddownsothatyoucandetectthecauses.Whenareyougoingtowatchitbest?Whenyou’regettingthemindintoconcentration.That’swhenyou’releastdistracted.Yougetthemindtosettledownwithasenseofwell-beingsothatyoubecomemoresensitivetoslightinstancesofstressorsuffering.Thenyoutrytonoticethemgoupanddown.Whentheygoup,askyourself,“WhatdidIdo?”Whentheygodown,“WhatdidIdo,orwhatdidIstopdoing?”That’showyou’regoingtoseethecause.

Atthesametime,that’showyou’regoingtoseetheallure.Wedon’tthinkthatweliketogoforsuffering,butsufferingandpleasurearepartandparcelofthesamething.AjaanChah’simageisofasnake.Youseethatthesnakehastwoends:anendthathasteethandanendthatdoesn’thaveteeth.Youfigurethattheendwithoutteethisasafeendtocatchholdof,withoutrealizing,ofcourse,thattheendwithoutteethisconnectedtotheendwithteeth.Andtheendwithteethwillturnaroundandbiteyou.Wegrabaftertheaggregates.Wegrabaftertheallureoftheaggregates.Andtheybite.

Theironyinallofthisisthattheaggregatesthemselvesarethingsthatweputtogether.We’vegotpotentialscominginfromthepastforform,feelings,perceptions,fabrications,andconsciousness.Andthen,forthesakeofhavingaggregatestouse,wefashionthem—weputthemtogether—intoactualaggregates.ThePaliinthisparticularsuttaisratherstrange:Itsaysthatwedothisforthesakeoffeelingness,forthesakeofformness,forthesakeofperceptionhood,andsoon.It’sastrangestatement,buttheimportantpartofthestatementisthe“forthesakeof.”

Wehaveaplanfortheseaggregates,maybeaconfusedandnot-very-consciousplan,butweputthemtogetherforapurpose.Wewantsomepleasureoutofthem.Andinanticipationofthepleasure,wegrabholdofthem.Oftentimeswegrabholdofthemevenwhenthey’reproducingpain,becausewe’reafraidthatifwedon’tgrabholdofsomething,whatisthere?Weidentifyourselveswithourgrabbinghold,withourfeedingoffofthesethings.Ourfearisthatifwestopfeedingoffthesethings,wewon’tbe.Wewon’texist.

Soourverysenseofwhoweareorwhatwearegetsalltiedupinoursuffering,whichmakesithardtoseparatethesethingsout.It’slikeyou’retakingoffyourarmoryourlegtoexamineit.Thisiswhytheanalysisofyoursenseofselfintoawholecommitteeofselvesisuseful.Youtrytoidentifywiththeselfthat’sdoingtheconcentration.Asforanyotherselfthat’sgoingtocomeupandproposethatyougooffandenjoysomeofthehindrances,youcandis-identifywithit.Andthentakeitapart.Takeoffitsarmsandlegs.Trytosee:“Whereistheallurethere?WhydoIgoforthesethings?”Andbecausethemindhasmanylayersofdeception,you’regoingtohavetolookatthisagainandagainandagain.

Here,too,theapproachofwatchingthelevelofstressgoupandgodownwhileyoutrytonotice,“WhatdidIdojustnow?”:That’soneofthewaysinwhichyoucanprytheselayersaway.You’relookingrightatthemomentwhenyou’reactuallymakingthe

182

choice.Ifyoulookedatitafewsecondslater,youmightcomeupwithanotherreasonforwhyyoudidsomething.We’reverygoodatmakingupreasonsforwhywedothings,especiallyafterthefact,soifyouwanttoseethroughthemake-believe,you’vegottowatchthesethingsrightasthey’rehappening.

Whatistheallurerightnow?Whenyoureallyseeit,youbegintorealizethatit’snotreallyworthit.Asenseofdismayarises.Yourealizehowstupidyou’vebeen.Thisiswhenyoudevelopasenseofdisenchantment,ornibbada.Thiswordalsomeansthefeelingyouhavewhenyou’vebeenfeedingonsomethingandyousuddenlyrealizethatyou’vehadenough.Youreallydon’twantitanymore.There’satouchofdismaythere,butalsoasenseofsoberingup—becausewhenyouseetheextenttowhichyou’reresponsibleforyourownsuffering,that’swhenyoubecomemature.ThisiswhyoneoftheepithetsfortheBuddhawasthathewasexceedinglymature.

Hesawthatsufferingliesinwhatwe’redoingrightnow.It’snotbeingimposedonusfromoutside.We’retheoneswhoareactivelygoingoutandcreatingit,engaginginit,doingit.Sowhenyouseethatthisisanactivitythat’snotworthit,youcandropit.That’showit’sdroppable:becauseit’sanactivity.Yousimplylearnhowtostopdoingit.Ifthissenseofdisenchantmentgoesdeepenough,it’sfollowedbydispassion.Anddispassionisfollowedbyrelease.Youcanstopthesufferingbecauseyoucanstopdoingthesuffering.Andthat’swhatcounts.

Sowhenthingscomeupinlife,don’taskyourself,“WhatkammadidIdointhepastthat’smakingmesuffernow?”or“Whatissomebodyelsedoingtomethat’smakingmesuffer?”Thequestionis:“WhatamIdoingrightnow?TowhatextentamIactivelycreatingthesuffering?TowhatextentcanIseethatitreallyistruethattosufferisanactiveverb,thatitallcomesfrommyownactions?”Whenyouseethat,youalsoseetheopportunitynottodothosethingsanymore.You’renotcompelledtodothemanymore.That’swhenyou’refree.Asforwheretheoutsideconditionscamefrominthepast,that’snolongeranissue.Thesufferingyouwerecreatingmomenttomomentwastheonlysufferingthatwasweighingdownthemind.Andnowyou’vestopped.

183

RootedinDesireAugust28,2017

TheDhammapadastartswithtwoversesonthetopicofthepowerofthemind:“Themindistheforerunnerofalldhammas.Themindistheirchief;they’remadeofthemind.”Andwemaysay,ononelevel,thatthissoundsreasonable.Thewayyoulookatthings,thewayyouact,willhaveaninfluenceonwhatyouexperience.

Butitgoesalotdeeperthanthat.Everythingcomesoutofthemind.Everythingyouexperiencecomesfromthefactoroffabricationindependentco-arisingthat’sevenpriortotheexperienceofthesixsenses.Wesometimestendtothinkofthemindasbeingsomethingpassive,receivinginputfromoutsideandthenrespondingintheoldstimulus-responsemode:thatonlyafterthestimulusdoweplayaroleinshapingthingsoutside.Butthatviewismuchtoopassive.

Thingsstartwiththemovementofthemindoutward.That’swhereallthetroublecomesfrom,andsothat’swheretheproblemhastobesolved.AstheBuddhasaid,everythingisrootedindesire.Alldhammasarerootedindesire—everythingexceptnibbanaisrootedindesire.Youlookatthefournobletruths:Thecausaltruths,i.e.,thesecondtruthandthefourth—thecauseofsufferingandthepathtothecessationofsuffering—areactions.There’stheactionofcravingandclinging.There’stheactionofthedesireinrighteffort.

Sothequestionis,whichdesiresareyougoingtofollow?Andhowdeepdoesitgo,thisquestionofhowthemindisshapingthings?Alotdeeperthanyoumightthink.Thisiswhyinsightcomesfromaskingquestionsaboutactions,becausetheresultsofactionsarepleasureandpain.AndtheBuddhasays,“Lookatthatpain.Whereisitcomingfrom?What’sthecause?”Andhetellsustolookintothemindforthecause.

Ofcourse,todealwithpain,weneedtohaveasenseofpleasuresomeplaceasourfoundation,whichiswhywepracticeconcentration.Righteffortleadstorightmindfulness.We’rerememberingtogiverisetoskillfulqualitiesandwe’rerememberingtotrytoabandonunskillfulones.Rightmindfulnessthenformsthethemearoundwhichrightconcentrationdevelops.Sothisdesiretoputanendtosufferingleadstomindfulness,andfromthereitleadstogettingthemindtosettledownandbereallystillinconcentrationwithasenseofwell-beingsothatitcanlookatwhatelseisgoingonatadeeperlevel.

Thegreaterthestillnessofthemind,themoresubtlethemovementsofthemindyou’llbeabletosee.Andyoukeepwantingtoask:“Isthereanyuptickinthelevelofstress?Anyloweringofthelevelofstress?”Ifyoucancatchthat,youaskyourselfthen:

184

“WhatdidIjustdo?Whatarosetogetherwiththestress?Andwhatpassedawaytogetherwiththestress?”

Thisiswhythecauseofstressiscalledsamudaya,something“arisingtogether,”because,afterall,partofyourexperienceisbasedonpastactions.Andit’shardsometimestoseetherelationshipbetweenapastactionandapresentone.AstheBuddhasaid,theworkingsofkammaarereallycomplex.Sometimesanactionmaynotdatejustfromyourlastpreviouslifetime,butfromlifetimesbeforethat.Howwouldyouevertrackthatconnectiondown?Whatyoucantrackdowniswhatyou’redoingrightnow.

AndasIsaid,independentco-arising,whatyou’redoingrightnow—thefabricationsthatusuallycomeoutofignorance—comepriortoinputfromthesenses,eventhesixthsense,i.e.,themindthat’sawareofideas.Soyou’realreadyshapingthingsbeforeyouhaveanyinputatall.Whatwe’retryingtodoaswepracticeistoshapethingswithknowledge,withawareness,alertness.That’swhatthequestionsfocusingonstressdo,becauseotherwiseyoujustgoflowingthroughthevariouscausallinksinthechainwithoutpayingmuchattentiontowhatyou’redoing.It’sbecomesonaturalthatyoudon’tseetheextenttowhichyou’refabricatingthings.

Onlywhenyouaskquestionsdoyoubegintonotice,“Oh,therewassomethinghappeningthere.Ididthis,andthisresulted.”Solearninghowtoasktherightquestionsattherighttimeisanimportantpartofgainingdiscernment.TheBuddhasaidthatit’sasignofpeopleofdiscernment:howtheyapproachaquestion,howtheyframethequestion,howtheyapplyit.Hisobservationappliestothediscernmentrelatedtounderstandingnotonlyhowtoexplainideasandtoaskquestionsaboutideasyou’veheardexplained,butalsohowtoquestiontheworkingsofyourownmind.Whataretheperceptionsthatshapethewayyou’regoingaboutthings?Whataretheassumptions?Theassumptionof“self”isabigone.Thevariousperceptionsaboutyourrelationshiptotheworld:Thosearealsothingsyou’vegottolearnhowtoquestion.

Andagoodplacetostartisyourrelationshiptoyourbreath.Howdoyoufocusonthebreathinawaythatgivesrisetowell-being?Howdoyoufocusonitinawaythatgivesrisetostress?What’sthedifference?Thisissomethingwehavetolookatoverandoverandoveragain,becauseonlywhenyou’vebeenoverandoversomethingmanytimesdoyouseethedetails.

AjaanLee’simageisofwalkingbackandforthonapath:Youseethelittlethingsonthesideofthepathyoumightnothavenoticedifyouhadwalkeddownthepathjustonce.Thelittlechanges.Certainplantsaregrowing.Certaintreesaredying.Certainflowersarebloomingorwilting.Certainanimalsarecrawlingacrossthepathoronthesideofthepath.Ifyou’repreoccupiedwithotherthings,you’renotgoingtoseethesethingsnomatterhowmanytimesyougobackandforth.Butifyou’recuriousandobservant,you’llseethingsonthesideofthepaththatweren’ttherebefore.You’llnotice:Something’schanged.Something’sup.

185

Inparticular,youwanttolookatyouractions.Whatarethedesiresunderlyingyouractions?Weallknowthatdesirestendtobeblind.Howdoyoubringsomevisiontothem,sothatyouseenotonlywhatyouwanttosee,butalsowhat’sactuallygoingon?TheBuddhagivesyoulotsofdetailedinstructionsastowheretolook,whatkindsofquestionstoask.

Now,youmayfindthattheparticularsofyoursituationrightnowrequireslightlydifferentquestionsthatderivefromtheBuddha’sbasicones.Thetrickliesinlearninghowtotweakthemsothey’rejustrightforyou.Thepointthatdoesn’tchangeisthatthequestioningcan’tbedoneintheabstract.Ithastobefocusedonwhatyou’redoingrighthere,rightnow,asyougetthemindintoconcentration.That’stheidealactiontolookfor,evenwhenyou’reengagedwithotherthemesofmeditationasidefromthebreath.

Thereshouldalwaysbethequestion:Whatareyoudoing?Andaretheresultsconsistentwithwhatyou’vedonebefore?Whenyou’recontemplatingthebody—the32parts,likewechantedjustnow—therearedayswhenit’seasytovisualizethedifferentpartsofthebody,andsay,“Yeah,that’sallthereistothebody.”Whyarethosedaysdifferentfromotherdayswhenyouresistseeingthebodyasunattractive?Whyisitsoeasytoshiftbacktoyouroldperceptionthatthebody’ssomethinggood-looking,somethingattractive?Whatwasthedesirethatskewedyourperceptions?

Thisquestionfocusesonaparticularaction,whichiswhytheBuddhasetthefournobletruthsashisdefinitionforrightview,becauseashesaid,thecauseofsufferingisanaction.Thepathtothecessationofsufferingisanaction.Thisistokeepourmindsalwaysinthatframework.TheproblemisthateveninBuddhistcircles,peopleshiftawayfromthatframeworktoamorepassiveview.

Acoupleofmonthsago,whenIwasworkingonthebookonthenobleeightfoldpath,Iwasreadingotherbooksexplainingthenobleeightfoldpath.AndIwasstruckbyhowmanytimestheauthors,whenexplainingrightview,wouldmakeabriefmentionofthefournobletruthsandthenshiftalmostimmediatelytothethreecharacteristics,sayingthatthefournobletruthsaretruebecausethingsareimpermanent,unsatisfactory,not-self.That’stherealityoutthere,andwesufferbecauseweclingtothingsthatchange.Theimplicationhereisthatifwedidn’tcling,thenwecouldstilllivewiththingsthatchangeandtherewouldbenoproblem.Andononelevel,that’strue.Butthatassumptiondoesn’tbringustoaplaceofrealpeace.Togettothatplace,youhavetoseethatthethingsarechangingbecauseyourdesiresarechanging.It’snotthatyou’resittingherejustmisunderstandingthenatureofthingsandtryingtoforcesomepermanenceonthingsthatwon’tbepermanent.Anyactofclingingisgoingtocausesuffering.Evenifyouclingtotheexperienceofthedeathless,you’regoingtosuffer.

Anotherproblemwithbasingrightviewonthethreecharacteristicsisthattheimplicationisthatifyoudon’tresistchange,thenyou’llbeokay.You’retold,“Justgo

186

withtheflow.Don’thaveanyfixedviews.Alloweverythingtochange.”ThisideaissometimesevenusedtojustifychangingtheDhamma.Ofcourse,theDhamma’sgoingtochange.ButtheBuddhadidn’tregardthatasapositivething.Hisimagewasofadrum:Acrackdevelopsinthedrum,andsoyouplaceapeginthecrack.Anothercrackdevelops.Youplaceanotherpeg.Eventually,thewholedrumisnothingbutpegs.Andit’snotgoingtomaketheresonantsoundtheolddrummadewhenitwasonesolidpieceofwood.ChangesintheDhammadon’tgoinagooddirection.SotheBuddha’snotsimplysaying,“Well,learnhowtoacceptchangeandyou’llbeokay.”He’ssaying,“You’recreatingthingsthatarechanging.Andthenyou’relatchingontothem.You’reclingingtothem.That’ssuffering.”Infact,yourclingingiscreatingthingsfromwhichyousuffer.

Soyou’vegottoturnaroundandlookatthatactionofclinging.AndbesuretomakeuseofthehelpthattheDhammagives.Don’ttrytochangetheDhamma,becauseotherwiseit’snotgoingtobeashelpfultoyou.

Soremember,thebasicframeworkisthefournobletruths.Andthefournobletruthsstartwithactions.Ourexperienceisallbasedonaction.Sowheneverthere’ssuffering,youaskyourself,“Whataretheactionsleadingtothat?”Getthemindstillenoughsothatitcanseeandknowwheretolook.

Theproblemisn’touttherewiththeworld.Theproblemisinhere.Weplayaroleincreatingourexperienceandthenweforgetaboutit.Andthenweblametheexperience.Soturnaround.Lookatthepartofthemindthat’sconstantlyfabricatingthingsinignorance,undertheforceofdesire.Bringsomeknowledgetherethroughyourquestions,throughyourmindfulnessandalertnessandalltheothergoodqualitiesyou’retryingtodevelopintheconcentration.That’swhenyougettotherootofthematter.

Thenwhenyougettotheroot,everythingfallsapart.Butitdoesn’tfallapartinabadway.Itopensuptosomethingthat’sunfabricated,thatwon’tchange.Whenthere’snodesiretocreatedhammas,weopentotheendofdhammas,wherethere’snoclinging,nosufferingatall.It’slikefindingtherightkeyandputtingitintherightkeyholetounlockthingssothateverythinggoodwillopenup.

187

TheCoreofExperienceSeptember24,2017

WhenIwasupintheBayArealastweek,Icameacrossanewword:corelessness.Apparently,thelatestfashionistoclaimthattheBuddhasaidwearecoreless,andthatthat’sthemeaningofanatta.Inotherwords,there’sajumbleofkarmicactivitiesthatmakeupahumanbeing.That’swhatyouare.Theanattateaching,inthisinterpretation,isnotanot-selfteaching;it’sano-selfteaching.Itanswersthequestionofwhatyouare,sayingthatwhatyouarehasnocore.You’relikeakarmicfuzzball.Allthefuzzthat’spickedupasthefuzzballmovesacrossthefloorundertheforceofthewindisheldtogetheronlybystaticelectricity,butthere’snorealcorethere.ThisissupposedtorepresentwhattheBuddhataughtaboutwhatweare.

TheproblemisthattheBuddhanevertalkedaboutwhatweare.Thatwasoneofthequestionsheconsistentlyavoided.Ifyousaythatthere’snocorethere,thenwhenkammaendsintheattainmentofnibbana,there’dbenothingleft.Nothingwouldexistthere.AndtheBuddhawouldn’thavegonetosuchtroubletosaythatanarahantafterdeathcan’tbesaidtoexistornotexistorbothorneither.Itwouldbeobvious:Thearahantwouldn’texist.Endofproblem.Butthatwasn’thissolutiontothequestion.Andit’snosolutiontoanythingatall.

TheBuddhawaswiseenoughtoseethathoweveryoudefineyourself,youlimityourself.Sohewasn’tconcernedwithlimitingusordefiningus.Hewantedtohelpusfindanunlimitedhappiness,becausethatwashismainpurpose:toshowus,notwhatweare,butexactlyhowfarthequestfortruehappinesscango.Whatkindofhappinessisreallyworththeeffortputintoit?Isthereahappinessthatdoesn’tchange?Somethingthat,onceyouattainit,isn’tgoingtoturnonyou?Andhefoundthatsuchahappinessdoesexist.It’sthehappinessofrelease,whichheactuallysaidisthecoreofallexperience.

Alldhammas,hesaid,havereleaseastheircore.For“core,”heusedthewordsara,theheartwoodofatree.Butthat’swhatitbasicallymeans:essence,core.Releaseistheonlycoretobefoundinexperience,butthereisacorethere.Iftherewerenocoreatall,we’djustbefloatingaroundwithnothingofanyrealsolidimportancetousoranybodyelse.Itwouldbeamiserableworld.Andyou’dsay,“Well,peoplecanjustgoanddowhattheywant,becausethere’snothingreallytherethatgenuinelymatters.”

But,astheBuddhasaid,sufferingmatters.Happinessmatters.Andyou’dthinkthat,giventhefactthatsuchahappinessisavailable,peoplewouldwantit.Yet,formostpeople,whentheysearchforhappiness,theylookaroundandask,“Well,who’sdoingsomethingthatlookslikeitmightmakethemhappy?Orwholooksattractive?Orwho

188

looksinteresting?”Andtheytakethosepeopleastheirmodelswithoutreallystoppingtoexaminecarefully:Arethosepeoplereallyhappy?Andifasolidhappinessispossible,whydowecontentourselveswithlesserthings?

Sothereisacoretoexperienceanditisachallenge,whichmaybeanotherreasonwhypeopledon’tliketothinkaboutit.Itforcesthemtochangetheirwaystoomuch.Butyouhavetoaskyourself:“Areyouseriousaboutbeinghappy?”And“serious”heredoesn’tmeangrim,butsimplysincere.Doyousincerelywanttobehappy?Doyouwanttotakeyourdesireforhappinessassomethingimportant?FortheBuddha,that’sthebeginningofwisdomanddiscernment:takingyourdesirefortruehappinessashavingessentialvalue.Andthen,fromtheassumption,discernmentdevelops.

Itdevelopsthroughaskingthequestion,“What,whenIdoit,willleadtomylong-termwelfareandhappiness?”That’sthequestionthatliesatthebeginningofwisdom,thebeginningofdiscernment.It’swisefirstbecauseitrealizesthathappinessissomethingthatcomesfromyouractions.Itdoesn’tdependonwhoyouare.Second,thereissuchathingaslong-termhappiness.Thereareformsofhappinessthatdon’tsimplycomeandgoinaninstant.Andthird,long-termisbetterthanshort-term.

TheBuddha’squestionhereunderliesthepracticeofwhat’scalledmerit:doinggoodthings,beinggenerous,beingvirtuous,havingtherestraintofgoodwillforeverybody.It’sinterestingthatgoodwillisregardedasarestraint.Itbasicallyholdsyouractionsincheck,theactionsthatwouldbeharmful.What’sunlimitedaboutgoodwill,ofcourse,isthatyouextendittoeveryone.

ButthentheBuddhagoesbeyondthosepractices,because,ashesaid,ontheirowntheydon’tleadultimatelytonibbana.Theydon’tleadtorelease.You’relookingforahappinessthat’smorethanjustlong-term.You’relookingforahappinessoutsideoftimeentirelysothattimecannottouchit.That’sthecorewe’relookingfor.

ThisiswheretheBuddhaexpandsonthatquestionondiscernment,throughthequestionsaboutinconstancy,stress,andnot-self.Ifwe’relookingforsomethingthat’sreallybeyondtime,thenitcan’tbeinconstant.Ifit’struehappiness,itcan’tbestressful.Andifit’sanythinglessthanthat,youdon’twanttoholdontoitasself.Youdon’tevenwanttoholdontoreleaseasself,becausetheideaofselfimpliesclinging,andclingingstandsintheway.

Sowetaketheissuesof“mylong-termwelfareandhappiness”andtranslatethemintothequestionsonthethreecharacteristics,or,rather,thethreeperceptions.“Long-term”correspondstothequestionaboutinconstancy.“Happiness”correspondstothequestiononstress.And“my,”ofcourse,correspondstothequestiononselfornot-self.Sowhenyouencounterthingsonthepathofyourpractice,askyourself,“Isthisconstantorinconstant?”Ifit’sinconstant,it’sstressfulandit’snot-self,thenit’snothingyou’dwanttoholdonto.It’snotthecoreyou’relookingfor.

Now,youwillfind,though,thatinthecourseofthepath,therearecertainthings

189

youdohavetoholdontotemporarily,orprovisionally—thingslikevirtue,concentration,anddiscernment.Thosearetheskillsyouneedtodeveloptogettorelease.Afterall,youcan’tusereleasetogettorelease.Youhavetousewhatyou’vegot.Andthethingsyou’vegot—form,feelings,perceptions,fabrications,andconsciousness,whattheBuddhacallsthefiveaggregates—arethingsthatifyousimplyclingtothem,aregoingtocauseproblems,goingtocausesuffering.Infact,theclingingwillbesuffering.Butyoucanturnthemintoapath,whichswitchestheirroleaspartofthefirstnobletruth,aboutsuffering,topartofthefourth:thepathtotheendofsuffering.

Likeyou’redoingrightnow:You’vegotyourbodysittinghere,whichisform.You’reholdingontotheperceptionofthebreathtogiverisetoafeelingofease.You’retalkingtoyourselfaboutthebreath:That’sfabrication.Andyourconsciousnessisawareofallthesethings.Thisishowyoutakethefiveaggregatesandmakethemapath.ThosearesomeofthethingsyouholdontoprovisionallyaspartoftheBuddha’sstrategy.

Butwhatevercomesupinthecourseofyourmeditation,ifyouwanttotesttoseewhetherit’stheultimategoal,youpulloutthosethreequestions:Isitconstantorinconstant?Stressfulornotstressful?Andthenifit’sstressfulandinconstant,isitworthholdingonto,worthclaimingasyouoryours?Thesequestionsareyourtouchstonetofindoutwhatreallyisgoldinhere,whatreallyisofsolidvalue.Becausethereissomethingofsolidvalue.ThehappinessthattheBuddhapointstohasasolidvalue.It’ssomethingofinfiniteworth.Anditcanbetouchedinside.

Sowe,ashumanbeings,havethispotential.Otherhumanbeingshavethispotentialtoo,whichiswhywewanttorespectthem.ThisconnectswiththefactthattheBuddhaneversaysthatwe’recoreless.Hedoesn’tsaywhatweare,buthedoessaywehavethepotentialtofindadeathlesshappiness.It’sthere.Andit’sthecore,themostvaluablepartofallexperience.

Sokeepthatinmindasyoupractice.Thequestionisalways,“WhatamIdoing,whataretheresultsI’mgettingfrommyactions,andaretheyuptostandard?”YouwanttomaketheBuddha’sstandardstheonesbywhichyoumeasurethingsifyou’rereallysincereaboutyourhappiness.Becausethat’swhatitcomesdownto:thelevelofyourownsincerity.

AstheBuddhasaid,oneofthetreasuresofthemindisottappa,compunction,whichistheoppositeofapathy.Apathysays,“Well,I’lldowhatIwantandIdon’tcareabouttheresults.”Compunctionplacesalltheimportanceontheresults,regardlessofwhetheranactionissomethingyoulikeordislike.Theissueisn’twhetheryoulikethecauses;theissueiswhethertheresultsareworththeeffort.Inotherwords,youfocuson“Whatdoesthisactionleadto?”ThetreasureofcompunctionissomethingtheBuddhaencouragesustodevelopwithinussothatwecanfindthehappinesshefoundinthesamewaythathefoundit:bylookinginsideandseeingthatthereisacoreinhere—notsomethingyouwouldsayisyouoryours,butit’sacoreandit’sthere.Andthat’swhat

190

givesvaluetoeverythingelse.

191

SelfView&ConceitMay26,2017

Wereadaboutthevariousfettersthatareabandonedinthepractice,andthere’satemptationtowanttoreasonourwaypastthem,butthat’snothowthepracticeworks.Itworksbyaprocessofcauseandeffect.Thefettersareabandonedastheeffectofthepracticeandnottheeffectofreasoningthingsthrough.Wepracticevirtue,concentration,anddiscernment,andthey,inturn,aredependentondevelopingcertainfactorslikeheedfulness,conviction,anddesire.Afterall,thepathitselfneedstobeputtogether.It’safabricatedthing.

Andtherehastobeadesiretodoit.Ifwedon’thaveanydesire,wedon’tfabricatethings.It’soneofthosetruthsofthewillwhereit’snotgoingtohappenunlessyouwantittohappen.Whereverthere’sadesire,there’sgoingtobebecoming.Andbecominginvolvesasenseofself.Whatthepathneedsisaskillfulsenseofself.

TheBuddhatalksaboutthisquiteabit:“Theselfisitsownmainstay.”Inotherwords,youhavetodependonyourself.Ifyoudon’tdependonyourself,whoareyougoingtodependon?Whocandotheworkforyou?It’snotthecasethatsomeoneisgoingtocomeandsaveusfromourselves.Wehavetofigureoutforourselveswherewe’relackingskill.

That’soneofthedefinitionsofavijja:Thecauseofsufferingisalackofskill.We’rebeingunskillful,sowhatarewegoingtodotogetpastit?Wehavetodependonourselves.Nobodycangiveusaskill.Wehavetolearnitourselves.Soaswithanydesire,there’sgoingtobeyoursenseofselfasaproducerandtheselfasaconsumer.Theproduceristheonewhocandothis.Theconsumeristheonewho’sgoingtoenjoytheresults.

Asfortheselfastheproducer,wehavetohavetheconfidencethatwecandothis.ThiscomesinVen.Ananda’sdiscussionofhowweneedconceitinordertogetpastconceit.Theconceitthat“Otherpeoplecandothis.They’rehumanbeings.I’mahumanbeing.Whycan’tI?”:That’sagoodsenseofself.Youneedthat.Youneedtohavethatkindofconfidence.Otherwise,youcan’tdothepath.Youmaythinkthatnibbanaisoffsomeplaceelse.AlotofusherethinkthatnibbanaisoverinThailand.AjaanFuangoncetoldmethatwhenhewasalittlekidhethoughtnibbanawasupintheHimalayanMountains.AndyoucanimaginewhatthepeopleintheHimalayanMountainsthink:someplaceelse.

Actually,nibbanaissomethingwecanattainthroughoureffortsrighthere.Someoneonceaskedme,“Where’sthebestplacetopractice?”AndIsaid,“Rightwhere

192

youare.”Thisiswherethingsaregoingtobefound.Soyou’vegottohavetheconfidencethatit’shereandyou’recapableoffindingit—whichishowconceitisneededonthepath.Youcan’tletgoofhealthyconceitrightaway.Youhavetokeepbelievingthatyou’recapableofthis.

Andthenthere’stheselfasaconsumer:There’sthepassagewheretheBuddhatalksabouttheselfasagoverningprinciple.He’sgotthreegoverningprinciplesforwaystothinkwhenyou’refeelingtemptedtoleavethepath.Oneistheworldasagoverningprinciple:realizingthattherearebeingsintheworldwhocanreadyourmind.Whataretheygoingtothinkwhenyou’regettingreadytogiveup?

Thenthere’stheDhammaasagoverningprinciple:realizingthathere’sanexcellentDhamma.It’sveryrarethatwefindatrueDhammalikethis.Sohere’sourchancetopractice.Ifwedon’tpracticenow,whenarewegoingtogetanotherchance?

Thenthere’sselfasagoverningprinciple,whichiswhereyouremindyourself,“IgotonthispathbecauseIwantedtoputanendtosuffering.IfIgetoffthispathorifIstopandgetlazyandlax,doIreallylovemyself?”Inthiscase,you’rethinkingaboutyourselfastheconsumeroftheresultsofthepath.It’ssomethingyouwanttoholdinmind.

Don’tbeafraidofhavingadesiretopractice.Don’tbeafraidofbuildingupaselfaroundit.Ioncereadabookbyamonksayingthatconcentrationandeffortrequireastrongsenseofwillandmotivation,butmotivationrequiresasenseofself,andweallknowthatBuddhismisagainstasenseofself,sorightconcentrationisnottotrytodoconcentration,andrighteffortisnottodoanyeffort—whichisgettingeverythingallbackwards.Youusethesenseofself,ahealthysenseofself,untilyoudon’tneeditanymore.Thenyounaturallydropit.

Eventhebeginningofwisdomstartswithaquestionframedintermsofself:“What,whenIdoit,willbeformylong-termwelfareandhappiness?”Thereyou’vegottheselfbothasaproducerandasaconsumerbuiltrightintothequestion.Whatmakesitwiseisthatyourealizethatthereissuchathingaslong-termhappiness,youwantlong-termratherthanshort-term,andyourealizeit’sgoingtohavetodependonyouractions.

Sowheredoyoutrytofindananswertothatquestion?Youlookatyourownactions.Whereareyoucausingsuffering?Canyoustop?Canyoubemoreskillfulinyouractions?Whenyou’redoingconcentration,it’sthesamesortofthing.Whenthemindgetssettleddown,isitreallyasstillasitcouldbe?Oristheresomedisturbanceinhere?Lookaroundtoseewhatyou’redoingthat’scausingthedisturbance—becausetheactsofthemindarewhat’scausingthedisturbance.

TheBuddhadevotesarefraininasuttatotheneedtosettleinandindulgeinconcentration,whichmeansyouletyourselfenjoyitforawhile.Don’tbeafraidofenjoyingtheconcentration.Don’tlistentothosepeoplewhoplasterwarningsignsalloverjhanasaying,“Watchout.Keepaway.Dangerous.”TheBuddhaneverputwarning

193

signsonjhana.Henevercordoneditoff.Hesaidthatthisissomethingyoushouldwanttodo.Ifyou’regoingtobeattachedtothepleasure,it’sbetterthannothavingthispleasuretobeattachedto—becauseotherwise,you’rejustgoingtogobacktoyouroldways,attachedtolookingforpleasureinsensuality.

Soyoulearnhowtoenjoythepleasureofconcentrationbutwithoutlosingyourfocus.Thisisoneofthepracticesyoudoinordernottobeovercomebypleasureorovercomebypain.Whateverlittlepainsthereareinthebody,youlearntoworkthroughthem.Asforthepleasure,youdon’tletthepleasureabsorballofyourattention.Whenyou’rewiththebreath,youdon’tleavethebreath.It’samatteroflearninghowtobewithpleasure,sometimesveryintensepleasure,andyetnotfocusonthepleasureitself.Keepyoureyeonthebreath.Staywiththebreath.

It’slikethatimagetheBuddhagivesofthemanwalkingthroughacrowd.He’sgotabowlofoilonhisheadandsomeonefollowingrightbehindhimwithaswordraised.Ifadropofoilfallsfromthebowl,themanwiththeswordisgoingtocutofftheguy’shead.Ononeside,there’sabeautyqueen,singinganddancing.Ontheotherside,there’sahugecrowdexclaiming,“Thebeautyqueenissinging!Thebeautyqueenisdancing!”Andifheletshimselfgetdistractedbyeitherside,he’sgoingtodie.

Thesamethinghappensifyouletyourattentionstrayfromthebreathtothepleasure.It’snotthatyou’regoingtodieifyoustartwallowinginthepleasure;yourconcentrationwilldie.You’llloseyourfocus,andyourconcentrationwillbecomelessandlessalert.Sometimesyou’llsithereforawhileinanicehazybuzz,butwhenyoucomeout,youwon’thaveanysenseofwhereyouwere.That’sconcentrationlackingalertness.Delusionconcentration.

Soyoulearnhowtobewiththepleasurebutnotovercomebythepleasure.Thenyoucanaskyourself,“Isthisasstillasitcouldbe?Oristheresomethinginherethat’sstilladisturbancetothemind?”Youlookforthat.Youseewhatyou’redoing,whatperceptionyou’reholdinginmind.Asyouabandonanyperceptionsthatcreateeventheslightestdisturbance,yougointodeeper,deeper,anddeeperstagesofconcentration.Basically,whatyou’redoingisaskingyourselfthequestionsofthefournobletruths:“Where’sthesuffering?Where’sthestress?”Inthiscase,it’sverysubtle.It’shardtocallitsuffering,butitisstress.Itisadisturbance.Whenyounoticeit,thenextquestionsare:“Whatactioniscausingit?”and“Whatcanyoudotoletitgo?”

Ifyoukeepupthisprocess,youfinallydogettosomethinginthemindthat’sdeeperthanconcentration.Youcanactuallytouchthedeathlessinside.Andbecauseyou’vegottenusedtoseeinghowthemindfabricatesstates,yourecognizethisassomethingnotfabricated.Youknowyoudidn’tdoit.Butthefabricationofthepathgotyoutothethreshold.

Afterhavingthatexperience,youcomeoutofit.Andincomingoutofit,that’swherethefettersgetcut.Theveryfirsttimearound,you’vegainedcertainty.You’reno

194

longeruncertainaboutwhattheBuddhataught.You’veexperiencedwhathetaught.Ashesaid,therereallyisadeathlessandyoufoundit.There’snolongeranyholdingontoteachingsabouttheselfbecausehoweveryoucoulddefineaselfwouldhavetobearoundthefiveaggregates,andyou’venowhadthatexperiencethathadnothingtodowiththefiveaggregatesatall.There’snotevenanydesiretowanttodefineyourselfinanyway,asaseparateselforaconnectedselforafiniteselforaninfiniteself,cosmicself,whatever:There’snodesiretodefineyourselfinanyway,shape,orform.

Finally,there’snolongeranyclingingtopreceptsorhabitsandpractices.Inotherwords,yourvirtueismastered.Whatdoesitmeannottoclingtovirtue?Itdoesn’tmeanyoudon’tholdtothepreceptsanymore,it’sjustthatthepreceptsarepartofyourbehaviornowandyoudon’thavetobuildanysenseofselfaroundthem.There’snofashioningofasenseofself,soyou’renot“silamaya”:You’renotfashionedofyourprecepts.Inotherwords,you’revirtuous,butthere’snosensethatyou’rebetterthanotherpeoplebecauseyou’revirtuous.You’renotdefiningyourselfintermsofyourvirtue.

Butyou’restillholdingontothepracticeofconcentrationanddiscernment,becauseyou’vegottodevelopthemfurther.That’swherealingeringsenseofselfremains—andwhereit’sstillneeded.Therestillhastobealittlebitofconceitaroundthesepractices,otherwisethey’renotgoingtogetmastered.

It’snotthecasethatwecanmakeupourminds,saying,“Okay,I’mgoingtoabandonthisfettertodayandthenworkonthenextfettertomorrow.”Youcan’tplanthesethingsinadvance.Instead,astheajaanssay,you’recookingthemind.

AsinAjaanLee’simage,you’reputtingapieceofrockinasmelter.Astheheatgetshigher,thedifferentmetalsintherockbegintomeltandcomeflowingoutoftherock.Firstthere’sthetin,thenthere’sthelead,thenthere’sthezinc,thenthere’sthesilver,thenthere’sthegold,astheheatgetshigherandhigher.Youcan’tpickthesethingsoutoftherockwithatoothpickorascalpel.Theonlythingyoucandoisputtheheatofyoureffortonthemind,keepingafterthemindwhenit’scausinganysenseofstressorsufferingordisturbance.Youwanttofigureoutwhat’sgoingon.That’stheheat:AjaanLeecallsittheheatofardency,thewisdomfactorinmindfulnessandconcentrationpractice.Andthroughthatheat,thegoodthingsstartshowingthemselves.

SothewaywetesttheBuddha’steachingsisrighthereingettingourmindintoconcentrationandthenaskingtherightquestions.Asforthethingsthatgetabandoned,theygetabandonedbasedonexperiencesthatwillcomewhenyousubjectthemindtotherightpractice.

Sofocusonthecauses,andtheresultswilltakecareofthemselves.Thepathissomethingfabricated.Itleadstosomethingunfabricated.Itdoesn’tcausetheunfabricated,butitleadsyouthere.Withoutthepath,youcan’tgetthereatall.Sofocusonwhatyou’redoingrightnow.Bereallysensitivetowhatyou’redoingrightnow

195

becauseyoursensitivityiswhat’sgoingtoallowyoutoseewherethere’sstressthatyoudidn’tnoticebefore,alongwithwhat’scomingalongwiththestress,what’scausingit.Thisisdiscernment.Discernmentisnotjustamatterofrepeatingaformula,like“inconstant,stressful,not-self.”It’samatteroflearningtobemoreandmoresensitivetowhatyou’redoingandtheresultsofwhatyou’redoing.Asyougetmoreandmoresensitive,thingswillstartshowingupthatyoudidn’tseebefore.Andinthatdirectexperience,theresultswillcomeontheirownwithoutyourhavingtoknowaboutthembeforehand.

196

DispassionMay20,2018

There’sapassageintheCanonwhereagroupofmonksaregoingofftoadistantland,sotheygototakeleaveoftheBuddha.HetellsthemtotakeleaveofSariputta,too.SotheygotoseeVen.Sariputtaandheasksthem,“Whenyougotothisdistantlandandpeopleaskyou,‘Whatdoesyourteacherteach?’howareyougoingtoanswerthem?”SothemonksaskSariputta,“Whatwouldbeagoodanswertogive?”Andthefirstanswerhegivesis,“Ourteacherteachesdispassion:theendingofpassion.”Thenhegoesontosay,“Ifthepeopleareintelligent,thentheywillask,‘Dispassionforwhat?’”Thatshowsabigdifferencerighttherebetweenpeopleinthattimeandpeopleinourtime.Mostpeoplenow,whentheyheartheword“dispassion,”loseinterestimmediately.Theydon’tcareaboutwhatyoumightbeadvocatingdispassionfor.Theideathatdispassionwouldcomefirstissomethingthat’snotallthatappealing.

Butforintelligentpeople,Sariputtasays,youanswertheirquestionbysayingthattheBuddhateachesdispassionfortheaggregates.Andthenthenextquestionwouldbe,“Whatadvantagedoesyourteacherseeinhavingdispassionfortheaggregates?”Theanswer:“Whentheychange,youdon’tsuffer.”

It’sinterestingthatdispassionisthefirstthingVen.Sariputtamentions.TheBuddhahimselfatonepointsaiddispassionitselfisthehighestofalldhammas,ofallphenomena.Thenobleeightfoldpathisthehighestofallfabricatedphenomena,butdispassionisunfabricated—andit’sthehighestexperienceyoucanhave.

Hereagain,theideathatdispassionwouldbebetterthananythingelseyoucouldknowsoundsverystrange.Buttheforestajaanstalkaboutthisalot.Theysayit’slikesoberingupafteryou’vebeendrunk.Whenyou’redrunk,youdon’tseethingsclearly.Onlywhenyousoberupdoyoufinallyfreethemindfromalltheconfusionandfogginessofbeingdrunk.That’swhenyouseethingsforwhattheyare.

AjaanLeecomparesdispassiontoeatingsomethingandfinallyrealizingthatyoudon’twanttoeatitanymore.Thisassociatesdispassionverycloselywithdisenchantment,whichisthesensethatyou’vehadenoughofacertainkindoffood.Hesaidthatwithdispassionyouspitthingsout.Whatyouspitout,ofcourse,isthefiveaggregates.You’vebeenfeedingonthem.That’swhatclingingmeans:You’vebeenfeedingonthem.Andformostofus,theonlypleasureweknowinlifeisthroughsatisfyingourhungersbyfeeding.Sotheideaofgoingbeyondfeedingrequiresanactoftheimaginationtoappreciatethatitreallycouldbeagoodthing.

Buttakeanobjectivelookatthenatureoffeeding.One,it’soppressivetothethings

197

beingfedon.Two,it’soppressiveforthepersonwhoneedstofeed.You’vealwaysgottobelookingfornewsourcesoffood,andfightingoffotherswhowanttotakethefoodyou’vegot.TheBuddha’snotoffering,asanalternative,thatyou’vegottostarveyourself,whichmostofusthinkistheonlyalternativetofeeding.Hisalternativeistofindapartofthemindthatdoesn’tneedtofeed.Dispassioniswhatleadsusthere.It’srelatedtothedutiesofallfournobletruths.

AstheBuddhasaysinhisfirstsermon,ourdutywithregardtothefirstnobletruthistocomprehendit.Andtheninanothersutta,heanswersthequestion,“Whatdoesitmeantocomprehend?”Itmeanstounderstandeachclinging-aggregatetothepointofdispassion.Yourealizethatyou’vebeenfeedingoffofformandfeelingsandperceptionsandfabricationsandconsciousness:allthesethingsthatmakeupyoursenseofwhoyouare.Now,though,you’vefoundsomethingbetter,whichdoesn’trequirethatyouneedtofeedanymore.Andyourealizethatallofthisclingingandholdingonissuffering.Soyoufeeldispassionfortheobjectsyou’vebeenclingingto,andfortheclingingitself.

Similarlywiththesecondnobletruth—theoriginationofsuffering,whichisanyoneofthreetypesofcraving:forsensuality,forbecoming,andfornon-becoming.Youtrytodevelopdispassionforthesecravingssothatyoucanabandonthem.Thethirdnobletruthisdispassionitself.Theonlytruththatinvolvessomepassionisthepath.You’vegottohavesomepassiontodevelopit.It’ssomethingyouhavetoputtogether,toconstruct.Andtoconstructitwell,youhavetowanttodoitwell.Ardency,basically,meansgivingyourwholehearttoit.Butthentheredoescomeapointwherethepathiscomplete,it’sdoneitswork,andsoyouhavetoletgoofit,too.Atthatpoint,youhavetodevelopdispassionforthepathaswell.Onlythenwillyoubefullyfree.

Thinkoftheimageoftheraft.Theraftstandsforthepath.Onthewayacrosstheriver,youhavetoholdontoit.Whenyougettothefurthershore,youhavetoputitaside.Theputtingitaside:That’sdispassion.

Sodispassionweavesitswaythroughouttheteachings.ThisiswhytheBuddhasaid,onthenightofhisparinibbana,thatthebestwaytoshowhomagetohimistopracticetheDhammainaccordancewiththeDhamma.Andthenhesaid,inanothersutta,“Whatdoesitmeantodothat?Itmeanstopracticeforthesakeofdispassion.”YoucouldalsointerpretitasmeaningnotchangingtheDhammatosuityourself.YouhavetochangeyourselfinordertosuittheDhamma.Butbothofthesemeaningscomedowntothesamething:TochangeyourselftofitinwiththeDhammameansthatyouhavetothinkaboutdispassioninagoodwayandmakeityouraim.AstheBuddhasaid,ifyouthinkofnibbana,dispassion,anddisenchantmentassuffering,one,you’rewrong,andtwo,it’sgoingtobehardtopractice.Solearntoseethesethingsintherightlight.

Andtherightlight,hesays,istoseerenunciationasrest.Seerenunciationasatruewayoffindingpeaceinthemind.Andinrenouncing,wedon’tgiveupourfeedingjust

198

bystarving.Wegiveupfeedingbecausewefindsomethinginthemindthatdoesn’tneedtofeed.Thisisoneofthereasonswhyawakeninghappensinstages.Yougainyourfirsttasteofthedeathlesswithyourfirsttasteofawakening.Itdoesn’tendallpassion,butitdoesletyouknowthatthereissomethingbetter,somethingreallygoodthatcomeswithdispassion,andthatthereisapartofthemindthatdoesn’tneedtofeed.That’sbasicallywhenyou’rewonovertotheideaofdispassion,sothatwhenthechancecomestofinallyletgototally,you’rereadyforit.

ThisiswhypracticingtheDhammainaccordancewiththeDhammaisafactorofstreamentry.It’ssomethingyouworkon.Trytoseedispassionassomethingpositive:astruefreedom.Thatgivesyoumotivation.

It’sparadoxical.Thispassionforthepathhastobemotivatedbyseeingthevalueofdispassion.Butagain,therearealotofparadoxesinthepath:thingsyouhavetodevelopthatyouwilleventuallyhavetoletgoof.Inthiscase,youdevelopthepassiontowanttogrowup,tostopfeedingonthethingsyouusedtofeedon.WhenIwasachild,IusedtosaveupmymoneytobuyHostesscupcakes:puregarbage.AndnowthatIseethatthey’repuregarbage,I’mgladI’mnoteatingHostesscupcakesanymore,orwastinganymoremoneyonthem.Youcanprobablythinkofthethingsyouateasachildthatyouwouldfinddisgustingnow.Well,that’sbasicallyhowawakenedpeoplefeelaboutthethingstheyfedonbefore.Westilllikethesethingsbecauseofdistortedperceptions.Butwhenyougetyourperceptionsright,youletgowithasenseoffreedomandrelease,notwithasenseofdepressionordeprivation.

Thisisoneofthebigmisunderstandingsaboutdispassion.TherewasastudydoneawhilebackaboutlaypeopleinSriLankawhohadthereputationforbeingreallyintotheDhamma.Andtheresearcherscameupwiththeconclusionthatalotofthesepeopleweresufferingfromclinicaldepression,believingthatnothingintheworldwasanygood,thattherewasnoreasontowanttoaccomplishanythingatall.Butthat’snotthekindofdispassiontheBuddha’stalkingabout.Hisdispassionrequiresapassionforthepathmotivatedbythesensethattherereallyissomethingworthputtingallthateffortinto.

Solearntoseedispassioninagoodlightandrealizethateventhoughitisthehighestofalldhammas,there’ssomethinghigherstill,whichisnibbana,theendingofdhammas.AjaanMunmakesthispoint.Hesaysthatthethirdnobletruthisnotthefinalgoal.It’sthelaststep,thestepthatleadstonibbana.There’sadutythatyouhavetodowithregardtothethirdnobletruth—youhavetorealizeit—butnibbanaisnotsomethingyouhavetodo.There’snodutyassociatedwithitatall.

Dispassionissomethingyoumovetoward,somethingforwhichyoucreatetheconditionsinthemind.AjaanLeedescribesitasthepointwherefinallythefabricatedandtheunfabricatedmakeatotalbreak.Fromthatpointon,themindisbeyondalldhammas,eventhedhammaofdispassion.It’stotallyfree.Butdispassionistheportalthatletsyougothere.Weneeditbecausewe’vebeenfeedingonthesethingsforsolong

199

andwehavetolearnthatthere’ssomethingbetter.Andthatrequiresthatweseethefeedingitselfasaburdenforthemind.

Sotrytogetyourviewsstraight.WhentheBuddhasaysthatthecessationofsufferingisdispassion,learntoseethatasagoodthing.Usethatperspectivetogiveyourselfsomepassionforthepath.AjaanFuangusedtosaythatifyouwanttogetgoodatthemeditation,youhavetobecrazyaboutit.Everylittlesliveroftimeyoumightfindtostaywiththebreath,youdothat.Keepatit.Keepatit.Sodeveloppassionforthegoalofdispassion.Andthen,ultimately,youusedispassiontoreachthepointwherethemindisbeyondboth.

ThefreedomtheBuddha’stalkingaboutisthattotal.Ifweworkinthisdirection,thenwe’repracticingtheDhammainlinewiththeBuddha’sintentionsforwhyhetaughttheDhammaandwhyhewantedpeopletopracticeit.That’showwehonorhisteaching.That’showwedohonortoourowndesirefortruehappiness.

200

DhammaIsaQualityoftheHeartJune26,2018

MostofusfirstencountertheDhammathroughwords—wordswe’veread;wordswe’veheard—whichmeansthatweoftenmissthefactthatDhammaisnotaqualityofwords.It’saqualityoftheheart.TheBuddhadiscoveredtheDhammainhisheartandthenheputitintowordstocommunicateit.ButtheactualqualityoftheDhamma—thefactoftheDhamma,theactualityoftheDhamma—issomethingyoufindintheheart.Sowehavetorememberthatallthewordsaretheretopointtosomethingintheheart.They’repartoftheBuddha’sstrategyforteachingus,andthey’repartofourstrategyforpracticing,tohelpdirectthepractice.

Butnoteverythingisnaileddowninthewords.Infact,thebasicconceptstheBuddhataughtarenotnaileddownatall.Hereweare,trainingthemindtofindtruehappiness,buthappinessisnotawordthathedefined.Mindisnotawordthathedefined,probablybecauseasyougothroughthepractice,yourappreciationofhappinessisgoingtochange.Yourappreciationofthemindisgoingtochange.Soit’sgoodnottohavethemnaileddowntootightly.Evendukkha:Hedefinesdukkhaasthefiveclinging-aggregates,butyourunderstandingofwhatthewordcoversisgoingtochangeasyoupractice.It’sgoingtogetmorerefined.Thingsthatyouregardaspleasurerightnow:Ultimatelyyou’llseethattheyhavetheirstress.Theycanentaildukkha.Butforthetimebeing,aslongastheyseempleasant,youstickwiththembecausethepracticeisstrategic.It’stryingtodevelopaqualityoftruthfulnessintheheart,anditdoesitstepbystep.

TruthissomethingthatexistsonmanylevelsintheBuddha’steachings.Thereisthetruthofstatements.Thereisthetruthofperceptions.Andthere’sthetruthofactualities.Westartoutwiththeperceptions,inotherwords,thelabelswehaveinourminds.Andweusetrueperceptionsaswespeak,becauseotherwise,whatwouldwehavetodirectourpractice?

We’realreadyfabricatingourexperiencethroughourperceptions,sotheBuddha’sgivingusnewperceptionstouse.Butnotice,they’retheretobeused.We’renottryingtoarriveatatrueperception.TheBuddhamakesthispointmanytimesintheSuttaNipata.Therearecases,hesays,whereyougobeyondtruth.Inotherwords,yougobeyondthetruthofperceptionsbecauseyou’vearrivedatthetruthofanactuality:aqualityoftruthintheheart.Andthat’ssomethingthatdoesn’thavetodowithwords.

Now,Buddhistscholarscanlietous.Infact,ithappensagainandagain.Theycantakethewordsofthetextsandcantwistthemintoalmostanything.Butthequestionis,istheretruthfulnessindoingthat?

201

IwasreadingapassagebyAjaanFunntoday,talkingabouthisearlyyearsasamonk.He’dsitupallnight.Hesaidthatifhewasgoingtofallasleep,he’dfallasleepwhilehewassitting.Ifhegottiredofsitting,he’dwalk.Gottiredofwalking,he’dgobackandsit.Because,ashesaid,ifhewasn’tgoingtogainawakeninginthislifetime,hedidn’twantittobethroughhislaziness.

There’sastoryintheCanonthat’sacautionarytaleaboutamemberoftheSakyanclan.Whenhedied,theBuddhasaidthatifhehadgoneforthandstartedpracticingearlyinlife,hewouldhavebecomeanarahant.Ifhe’dgoneforthinthemiddleofhislife,hewouldhavebecomeanon-returner,astreamenterer.Inotherwords,hecouldhaveguaranteedthathewouldn’thavetofalltolowerrealms.Buthenevergotaroundtopracticing,outofsheerlazinessandheedlessness.Sohisopportunitywaswasted.Hehadthepotentialbuthewastedit.AndAjaanFunnsaidhedidn’twantthattobetrueofhim.Sohereallygavehimselftothepracticeand,becausehewastrue,hegottrueresults.

SothetruthoftheDhammaisnotsomethingthat’sdefinedinwords.Thewordsarethereasaidsinthepractice,tohelpyouasktherightquestionsandtoobservethingsyoumightnothaveobservedotherwise.Someofthevocabularyislikethevocabularyfortasters,orthosewhoworkwithveryrefineddifferencesinfragrances.Theyhavetodevelopaveryspecific,veryprecisevocabulary.Themoreprecisethevocabulary,themoresubtlethingstheynotice.Butthetruthofthesmellsandflavorsisn’tinthewords.It’sinthesensitivitytoactualsmellsandflavors.Theconceptsaretheretohelpyounoticethingsyoumighthavemissedotherwise,tohelpyoulookinareasyoumighthaveoverlooked,andtoaskquestionsthatmightnothaveoccurredtoyoubefore.

We’renotheretoarriveatadescriptionoftheworld,oradescriptionofthemind,oradescriptionofanything.We’renotarrivingatadescription.We’rearrivingattheactuality,whattheBuddhagavemanydifferentnamesto.ThisisapointthatAjaanMahaBoowamakesoften.Hesaysitdoesn’treallymatterwhatnameyougivetonibbana.What’simportantisyougettheactuality.TheBuddhadescribedcertainaspectsaboutit.Hecalleditthehighesthappiness,buthesaidthatitwasn’tafeelingofhappiness,soitdoesn’tfallundertheaggregates.Whatthatmeans,hedoesn’tsay.Healsosaidthatitwasakindofconsciousness,aconsciousnesswithoutsurface,outsideofspaceandtime.Heneverexplainedhowthatconsciousnesswasrelatedtotheconsciousnessintheaggregates,butit’sdefinitelysomethingdifferent.

Consciousnessintheaggregateshastodowithconsciousnessthatisnearorfar;past,presentorfuture.Inotherwords,it’sintimeandspace.Consciousnesswithoutsurfaceissomethingelse.Butheneverclarifiedtherelationshipbetweenthetwo.Therewasatimewhenamonkwastalkingabouthowthisconsciousnessiswhatgoesfromonelifetothenext.AndtheBuddhacalledhiminandsaid,“Whichconsciousnessareyoutalkingabout?”Andthemonkreplied,“Theconsciousnessthatwehaveattheeye,ear,nose,tongue,body,andmind.”Itwouldhavebeeninterestingifhehadsaid

202

consciousnesswithoutsurface,howtheBuddhawouldhavedealtwiththat.Butconsciousnessatthesenses,astheBuddhasaid,isdependentlyco-arisenconsciousness.It’ssomethingthatarisesandfallsawaybecauseitdependsonconditions.Sothemonkwaswrongabouttheconsciousnesshewasdescribing,butthequestionofconsciousnesswithoutsurfacenevergotaddressedinthatdialogue.

TherearealotofthingstheBuddhadoesn’texplainaboutnibbana,because,afterall,itultimatelyliesbeyondexplanation.AstheBuddhasaid,itliesbeyondthelimitsofdescription.Aproperdescriptionofwhatitis,isnotwhatgetsyouthere.Buthedoesexplainhowtogetthere,andthat’stheimportantthingforhimtoconveyandforustoknow.Gettingthereissomethingyoudoinside.Itinvolvesqualitiesyouhaveinsidetheheartandmind.Theproblemliesinside,butthesolutionliesinsideaswell:qualitiesthatcanbeimmediatelypresenttoyourawareness.We’renotdealinginabstractions.We’renotdealinginanythingfaraway.

WhenmyfatherwenttoThailandtheveryfirsttime,Itriedtogethimtomeditate.HisfirstquestionforAjaanFuangwas:HewasaChristian.Wasthatgoingtobeanobstacletothemeditation?AjaanFuangsaid,“No.We’regoingtotalkaboutthebreath.Thebreathdoesn’tbelongtoanybody.It’snotBuddhist.It’snotChristian.Itdoesn’tbelongtoanybodyinparticular.It’scommonpropertythroughouttheworld.Wetalkaboutthebreathsothatwecanusethebreathtocatchthemind.Andthenwecantalkaboutthemind:inotherwords,yourawarenessrighthere.”Whetheryou’reChristianorBuddhistdoesn’thavetogetinvolved,becausethethingsthatarehappeninginyourawarenessrightnowarethethingsthatcausesuffering,regardlessofyourbackground.Butyoucanalsodevelopqualitiesrighthereinyourawarenessthatwillputanendtosuffering.

Andtheprocessofdevelopingtheskillfulqualitiesandabandoningtheunskillfulones:What’sthatgoingtodotoyourawareness?It’sgoingtodosomethinggood,reallygood,butbeyondthat,youcan’tanticipateit.TheBuddhasimplyreassuresyouthatwe’renotcommittingspiritualsuicidehere.We’renotblankingout.Thereisakindofawarenessthatknowsthegoal.

Butthere’salothedoesn’texplain.Justthesimplefactthatwehavefreedomtochoosefromarangeofchoicesinthepresentmoment:Heneverexplainsthat.Sometimesourrangeofchoicesislimited—it’snotthatwe’retotallywithoutanyrestrictions—butthereareareaswherewedohavefreedomofchoice.Hesaystotakeadvantageofthat.Hedoesn’texplainit,buthedoesn’thaveto.He’sbasicallysayingthatifyouwanttoputanendtosuffering,thisissimplywhatyoucando.

He’sinterestedinfindingthepeoplewhoseethatasareallygreatopportunity,wholookatthesufferingthey’vehadintheirlives—whateveritisandhowevertheymightdefineit—andthey’vedecidedthey’vehadenough.ThosearethepeopletheBuddha’stalkingto,thepeoplewhohavethehonestytorealize,“Okay,I’msufferingbecauseofsomethingI’mdoing.ButIcanchangethewayIdothings.Evenifit’shard,Icandoit.”

203

Idon’tknowhowmanypeoplecomplain,“Well,it’seasytosay,butit’shardtodo.”Well,yeah.It’shardtodosometimes,butit’sdoable.Don’tletthefactthatitmaybehardbeanobstacle.

Thisiswheretruthfulnessofyourcharactercomesin.AsAjaanLeesays,“Ifyou’retrue,you’llfindthetruth.”Ifyou’renottrue,thennomatterhowmuchyoumayknow—nomatterhowmanyofthetextsyoumayhaveread,allthelanguagesyoumayhavestudied,theabilitytodefinethistermorthat—you’renotgoingtoarriveatthetruth,becausetruthfulnessisaqualityoftheheart.TheDhamma’saqualityoftheheart.Nibbana—whichistheendingofalldhammas,includingallwordsandallviews—istouchedattheheart.Sofocusyourattentionhere,attheheart.That’swherealltheworkisgoingtobedone,andwherethesolutiontotheproblemwillbefound.

204

Glossary

Ajaan(Thai):Teacher;mentor.

Anatta:Not-self.

Arahant:Apersonwhohasabandonedalltenofthefettersthatbindthemindtothecycleofrebirth,whoseheartisfreeofmentaldefilement,andisthusnotdestinedforfuturerebirth.AnepithetfortheBuddhaandthehighestlevelofhisnobledisciples.Sanskritform:arhat.

Avijja:Ignoranceofthefournobletruthsandtheskillsassociatedwiththeirduties.Sanskritform:avidja.

Brahma-vihara:Sublimeattitudeofunlimitedgoodwill,compassion,empatheticjoy,orequanimity.

Buddho:Ameditationwordmeaning“awake.”

Chedi:AspiredmonumenttotheBuddha.

Dhamma:(1)Event;action.(2)Aphenomenoninandofitself.(3)Mentalquality.(4)Doctrine,teaching.(5)Nibbana(althoughtherearepassagesinthePaliCanondescribingnibbanaastheabandoningofalldhammas).Sanskritform:dharma.

Jhana:Mentalabsorption.Astateofstrongconcentrationfocusedonasinglesensationormentalnotion.Sanskritform:dhyana.

Kamma:Intentionalact.Sanskritform:karma.

LuangPu(Thai):VenerableGrandfather.Atermofrespectforaveryseniorandelderlymonk.

Metta:Goodwill;benevolence.Seebrahma-vihara.

Nibbana:Literally,the“unbinding”ofthemindfrompassion,aversion,anddelusion,andfromtheentireroundofdeathandrebirth.Asthistermalsodenotestheextinguishingofafire,itcarriesconnotationsofstilling,cooling,andpeace.Sanskritform:nirvana.

205

Pali:ThenameoftheearliestextantcanonoftheBuddha’steachingsand,byextension,ofthelanguageinwhichitwascomposed.

Parinibbana:Thefinalpassing-awayofaBuddhaorarahant.

Sakyan:TheclanintowhichtheBuddhawasborn.

Samvega:Asenseofdismay,terror,orurgency.

Sangha:Ontheconventionallevel,thistermdenotesthecommunitiesofBuddhistmonksandnuns.Ontheideallevel,itdenotesthosefollowersoftheBuddha,layorordained,whohaveattainedatleasttheirfirsttasteofthedeathless.

Satipatthana:Establishingofmindfulness.Theactofbeingardent,alert,andmindfultostaywithanyoffourthingsinandofthemselves—body,feelings,mindstates,ormentalqualities—whileputtingasidegreedanddistresswithreferencetotheworld.

Sutta:Discourse.Sanskritform:sutra.

Tathagata:Onewhohasbecomeauthenticorhastrulygonetothegoal.AnepithetoftheBuddha.

Upasika:Afemalelay-followeroftheBuddha.

Vinaya:Themonasticdiscipline.

Wat(Thai):Monastery.

206

TableofContents

Titlepage 2Copyright 3Introduction 4TheLanguageoftheHeart(1) 5TheLanguageoftheHeart(2) 11NoOneinCharge 14TakeGoodAim 17TheEndoftheWorld 21AjaanSuwat’sGift 25SpreadGoodnessAround 28TheLessonsofGoodKamma 33TurningAnxietyintoHeedfulness 38RespectforthePrecepts 42WisdomforDummiesRevisited 47DefilementsAreReal 51InsightIsaJudgmentCall 55TheTrainTrestle 59TheBurningHouse 63Breathvs.Distraction 67Centered 71TappingintotheBreath 74WhatIsOne 77Remorse 81WakeUpfromAddiction 86Mindfulness2.0 92MindfulnessLikeaDam 97

207

TheUseofthePresent 100TheKammaofConcentration 104Cut,Cut,Cut 109APokerMind 113FocusedonResults 118LookafterYourBaby 122Vitakka&Vicara 125Whenit’sHardtoSettleDown 131BuildingCharacter 136TheGiftofSpiritualMaterialism 140Patience&Tenacity 143TheHearttoKeepGoing 147SuccessThroughMaturity 151LookafterYourMindwithEase 155InHarmlessnessIsStrength 160MettaThroughSamvega 164RightResolveinRealLife 167TheNobleTruthsComeFirst 172ThePowerofTruth 177ToSufferIsanActiveVerb 181RootedinDesire 184TheCoreofExperience 188SelfView&Conceit 192Dispassion 197DhammaIsaQualityoftheHeart 201Glossary 205

208