marriages? · a successful marriage doesn't just happen. it takes commitment and perseverance....
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How to Repair A
Broken Marriage
How to Make a Happy
Long Lasting Marriage
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A successful marriage doesn't just happen. It takes commitment
and perseverance. By following a few guidelines and keeping a few
simple factors in mind, that honeymoon bliss can turn into a deep
and lasting love that transcends life's challenges and frustrations.
When you marry, you become a team of two. By being good team
players, the two of you can have a successful marriage.
CommitmentA commitment to stick to the relationship through thick and thin is crucial to a
successful marriage. Unless one spouse is abusive, unfaithful or given to addictions, a
couple must strive to solve every problem between them. One way to ensure this is to
have a no-divorce philosophy. When divorce is not an option, the motivation to work
through difficulties is stronger. Remember that every relationship has challenges as you
go through the phases and stages of life. When you work through it, instead of going
around it, you strengthen your marital bonds.
Respect Each OtherTrue love has respect as its foundation and is one of the age-old secrets to a healthy
and lasting marriage. Partners must display a healthy respect for each other’s
personalities, feelings and expectations. Listening to each other’s views or preferences
and working together to face life’s challenges are all marks of respect.
Realistic ExpectationsAccept that neither you or your partner is perfect. Patience, tolerance and good
communication can get you through the sticky times. Misunderstandings and
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eHow » Relationships & Family » Marriage » Marriage & What to Expect » What Factors Contribute to Successful Marriages?
What Factors Contribute to SuccessfulMarriages?
By David StewarteHow Contributor
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differences of opinion are bound to happen. When you approach these times with a
sincere desire to work it out and let it go, you build trust. Being realistic also involves
acknowledging the positive attributes each of you brings to the relationship. You could
call these your intangible assets. For example, if one of you is better at managing
money than the other, draw upon this skill to help you as a couple.
Honest CommunicationExpress your thoughts and needs to your partner. Use "I" statements and avoid pointing
fingers, which leads to defensive, nonproductive behaviors. Honest communication not
only addresses problems, but also compliments and acknowledges your partners
positive contributions to the relationship and to the quality of your life.
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ReferencesMSNBC.com: 7 Secrets To A Long — And Happy Marriage
She Knows: Making Your Relationship Work; Jessica Padykula
Photo Credit Jupiterimages/Polka Dot/Getty Images
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eHow » Relationships & Family » Marriage » Marriage Other » How to Repair A Broken Marriage
How to Repair A Broken Marriage
By Carrie StemkeeHow Contributor
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What Factors
Contribute to
Successful Marriages?
What Do You Need
From Your Marriage to
Feel Emotionally Safe?
Other People Are Reading
When your marriage is on the rocks, it can be a struggle just to get through the day with
your spouse, and even harder to remember why you married this person in the first
place. If you do decide that you want to try and salvage your marriage, you should be
aware that you and your spouse have a lot of work ahead of you, and that you'll both
need to believe in the marriage in order for it to be rescued. Whether you decide to
seek professional help or go it alone, there are many different methods that you can try.
You just need to find the methods that work for you.
Don't Be Afraid to Work AloneConventional wisdom says that both spouses need to be putting in an equal amount of
work in order to save the marriage. Not so, writes relationship expert Mort Fertel in an
interview with Huffington Post. Actually, the efforts of one person working toward a
positive change can have a big effect. So if your marriage is suffering because of
frequent criticism or due to a lack of quality time together, go ahead and compliment
your spouse on a daily basis, or plan a date and surprise your partner. "[V]ery often, it's
that effort that motivates the obstinate spouse to join in the process of saving the
relationship," adds Fertel.
Break the Cycle of FightingPeople whose marriages are in distress often feel as though they spend all of their time
either fighting with or being quietly angry at their spouse. Getting the marriage back on
track will involve breaking the cycle of arguing and negativity. The key, writes therapist
Dr. Jeffrey Rubin in O, The Oprah Magazine, is compassionate listening. It’s the
listener’s job to let the other person speak without interruption or criticism, and then to
repeat what the speaker said when she’s finished. It’ll require both of you to practice
and Dr. Rubin suggests a helpful technique for the listener when he starts to feel upset
about what the speaker is saying: Shift your focus to your breathing for a few seconds,
and exhale slowly.
Limit Yourself to Three Sentences or LessIn any relationship, there are going to be arguments and complaints. Having a healthy
marriage doesn't mean that you never fight, but it does mean that you learn to fight
better. One great way to start is by learning to limit yourself to three sentences or less
when you're bringing up an issue to your partner, says clinical psychologist Harriet
Lerner in an interview on oprah.com. So when he forgets to stop by the supermarket on
the way home (again), say, "You said you'd bring home milk, and you didn't," and stop
there. Resist tacking on those seemingly related extra issues, like, "I can't trust you with
anything" or listing the other things he's forgotten to do that week.
Seek Professional CounselingIf you and your spouse both want to save the marriage but are having difficulty making
any headway, you may want to consider seeking the aid of a professional marriage
counselor. A trained therapist can help you see your relationship more objectively,
interact with each other in a healthy way, and express personal emotions that you
might have been holding back from each other, writes psychology professor Susan
Krauss Whitbourne in "5 Principles of Effective Couples Therapy" in Psychology Today.
She recommends looking for a therapist who will follow an evidence-based approach
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rather than someone who is stuck on one theory or who wasn't professionally trained.
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ReferencesHuffPost Divorce: How to Save Marriage: 6 Unconventional Tips
Oprah: Hang Up the Gloves
Oprah: 10 Unexpected Ways That Only You Can Save Your Marriage
Psychology Today: 5 Principles of Effective Couples Therapy
Photo Creditmactrunk/iStock/Getty Images
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