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Ephesians 5:33

“Marriage and Divorce”

When is divorce ok?•That is a loaded question, one that I can’t give an answer to just yet…•Celeb divorces almost always use the phrase, “irreconcilable differences”•Here are some of the excuses folks use…•Today we will get a solid understanding of the topic in about 30 minutes or so…

“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Ephesians 5:33, NASB

A. “Love and Respect”•Cultivation of a marriage is not by emotion, but commitment to one another and total obedience to the Lord•The main reason for such high divorce ratesz comes from the idea that marriage lasts only as long as one “feels” love for their spouse•Ever heard this lie?• “Loving feelings should come naturally in a relationship, so if you have to work at it, something’s wrong.”

“4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB

A. “Love and Respect”•Love is hard work!•V33 has two simple commands– both are IMPOSSIBLE without the help of the Holy Spirit

“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Ephesians 5:33, NASB

A. “Love and Respect”•Love is hard work!•V33 has two simple commands– both are IMPOSSIBLE without the help of the Holy Spirit•Ruth Graham at their 35th Anniversary•Commitment is a decision to have the abundant marriage God desires, regardless of circumstances or whether you think your spouse is doing his or her part, because your marriage is an unbreakable covenant before God

A. “Love and Respect”•Ancient Hebrew culture understood a covenant not as a contract, which could be broken, but as a binding , permanent agreement – just like the covenant God makes with us•The root of most marital problems is sin, and the root of all sin is selfishness•Think about this; What wife wouldn’t love…

B. Give your BEST• I’ve told y’all that there was a time when Sheira was planning to leave me•There’s a book by Dr. Ed Wheat that has given me an acronym I’m trying to live by—BEST1) Bless-- Bless your spouse with your word

constantly without lying. Look for something good he or she does even if they are few, instead of bad things. Praise him or her for the work they do; or how she looks. Send cards by snail-mail. Give her flowers or stick a love note in his/her lunch

B. Give your BEST(Still under #1)•To keep your marriage brimming with love in the love-cup, when you ’re wrong, admit it; and when you’re right, shut up!•14 sincere words that make marriage work:•“I am sorry,” “I was wrong,” “Please forgive me,” “I love you,” and “Yes, dear.”

B. Give your BEST2) Edify: Build each other up with your words in front of each other, especially to other people; never down-talk your spouse to others. T ell others how blessed you are to have him/her. Pray for your spouse to be what the Lord wants that person to be, not what you want. And expect that the Lord will work on you before He works on your spouse. It may be painful, but worth it, I promise

B. Give your BEST3) Share: Share your spouse’s desires as your desires. Husbands, be attentive to your wife when she talks to you without watching TV, or other distractions. Give her your full attention. That goes the same for you, wives. Back to both of you: Honor what your spouse likes more than what you like. Have frequent date nights. Just the two of you. You don’t have to go to expensive restaurants to make your dates special. Choose to be romantic; choose to be sensitive to each other. Marriage is like riding a bike uphill, you constantly have to pedal, otherwise it will go down-hill fast

B. Give your BEST4) Touch: I am not talking about sexual touching. I am talking about physical gestures. A wink, a smile from across the room; squeezing a hand or shoulder when you pass by. Let each other know that you love and care.•It won’t be fixed in a week•If you are struggling, NEVER seek Lost counsel

C. Divorce•Today, people in unpleasant marriages think there are only two options: stay married and be miserable, or go through divorce and be happy•Often, it creates more problems than it fixes•Here is what Scripture says about divorce:

“ For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the LORD of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

Malachi 2:16, NASB

C. Divorce•Today, people in unpleasant marriages think there are only two options: stay married and be miserable, or go through divorce and be happy•Often, it creates more problems than it fixes•Divorce was never to be preferred or easy•The Hebrew words means “A hewing off”

C. Divorce- 3 Reasons Scriptural

1.Death

“ 2 For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. 3 So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man.” Romans 7:2-3, NASB

C. Divorce- 3 Reasons Scriptural

1.Death2.Adultery

“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 

Matthew 19:9, NASB

C. Divorce- 3 Reasons Scriptural

1.Death2.Adultery3.Desertion

“Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace..” 

1 Corinthians 7:15, NASB

C. Divorce•God’s intent is that one man and one woman be devoted to each other in marriage for one lifetime• Divorce for reasons other than those given in Scripture, even though legal, grieve the heart of God and are actually disobedience to Him•So, PD, are you condemning people who’ve been divorced? Of course not…

Take Home…1) Commitment to stay married is a deciding to have

the abundant marriage God desires, whether you think your spouse is doing his or her part or not-- because your marriage is an unbreakable covenant before God

2) Give your spouse your BEST: Bless, Edify, Share, Touch

3) Biblical divorce is not mandatory, rather an option that the Lord allows but hates still

4) Tolstoy said, “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.”