Mark Young, Ph.D.Gonzaga UniversityWCA Nov. 14, 2009

Founder & Key Concepts

Susan Johnson Leslie Greenberg

EFT is collaborative combining Experimental and Rogerian techniques with Structural systemic interventions.

EFT is based on clear, explicit conceptualizations of relationship distress and adult love.

These conceptualizations are supported by empirical research on the nature of marital distress and adult attachment.

Key moves and moments in the change process have been mapped into nine steps and three change events.

Goals of EFT

To expand and re-organize key emotional responses–the music of the attachment dance.

To create a shift in partners' interactional positions and develop new cycles of interaction.

To foster the creation of a secure bond between partners.

What is Attachment?

…the capacity to form and maintain healthy emotional relationships which generally begin to develop in early childhood

– Enduring bond with “special” person– Security & safety within context of this relationship– Includes soothing, comfort, & pleasure– Loss or threat of loss of special person results in distress

10 Central Tenets

1. Attachment is an innate motivating force

2. Secure dependency complements autonomy

3. Attachment offers a safe haven4. Attachment offers a secure base5. Accessibility and Responsiveness

builds bonds

10 Central Tenets

6. Fear and uncertainty activate attachment needs

7. The process of separation distress is predictable

8. Finite number of insecure forms of engagement can be identified.

9. Attachment involves working models of self and others

10. Isolation and loss are inherently traumatizing

View of distress in EFT

Relationship distress is maintained by absorbing negative affect.

Affect reflects and primes rigid, constricted patterns of interaction.

Patterns make safe emotional engagement difficult and create insecure bonding.

View of Distress

Rigid repetitive interactional patterns: No exits – no detours/ repair impossible Rigid narrow positions – fight/flight/freeze Most common patterns

Criticize, complain, express contempt Defend, distance, stonewall

Results: self reinforcing cycles or reactivity/self protective strategies (individual safety first)

Partners cannot attune to one another because they are so absorbed in their own negative affect

Cannot communicate because of their own state.

Gottman 1979 – absorbing states of negative affect: everything leads in, nothing leads out.

Research

70 – 73% recovery rate in 10-12 sessions.

Results stable – even under high stress.

Depression significantly reduced. Variety of populations and settings. Best predictor of success – female

faith in partner’s caring (Not initial distress level).

Principles & Concepts

Looks within at how partners construct their emotional experience of relatedness

Looks between at how partners engage each other.

Focus of EFT: The 4 P’s

Experiential Present Primary Affect

Systemic Process (time) Positions / Patterns

The counselor is a process consultant

4 P’s

Present experience Deal with the past when it comes into

the present to validate client’s responses as it relates to how they coped/survived

When emotion is re-experienced it is now in the present

Focus is on current positions/patterns Don’t ask “why”, focus on what is.

4 P’s

Primary emotions Validating and moving from secondary

to primary emotions Stay with emotions, create safe haven Organize the emotion of a past

experience so that client can engage in the here & now

Common Underlying Emotions of the Withdrawers and Pursuers Rejected Inadequate Afraid of failure Overwhelmed Numb – frozen Afraid – scared Not wanted or

desired Judged, criticized

Hurt Alone Not wanted Invisible Isolated/

disconnected Not important Abandoned Desperate

Emotion frequently leads to secondary emotional responses – for example:

Anger often leads to: Asserting, defending

Sadness often leads to: Seeking support, withdrawing

Surprise/Excitement often leads to: Attending, exploring

Disgust/Shame often leads to: Hiding, expelling, avoiding

Fear often leads to: Fleeing, freezing, giving up

Joy often leads to: Connecting, engaging

A. Primary Emotions are the deeper, more vulnerable emotions such as sadness, hurt, fear, shame, and loneliness.

B. Secondary Emotions are the more reactive emotions such as anger, jealousy, resentment, and frustration. They occur as a reaction to the primary emotions.

C. Primary emotions generally draw partners closer. Secondary emotions tend to push partners away.

4 P’s

Process patterns Look individually how each person is

processing in the moment “What happens…then what…then what”

Positions The position each partner is taking in the

relationship Work to create new position & new

patterns

Stages & Steps

Stage 1: De-escalation Stage 2: Restructuring the Bond Stage 3: Consolidation

Stage 1: De-escalation

Identify negative cycle / attachment issues

Access underlying attachment emotions

Frame problem – cycle, attachment needs/fears

Stage 1: De-escalation

Step 1: Identify the relational conflict issues between partners. Creating an alliance & delineating conflicts in core struggle.

Step 2: Identify negative interaction cycle Step 3: Access unacknowledged

emotions underlying positions in cycle Step 4: Reframe problem in terms of the

cycle, underlying emotions, and attachment needs.

Stage 2: Restructuring the Bond Access implicit needs, fears, models

of self Promote acceptance of others –

expand the dance Structure emotional engagement –

express attachment needs

Stage 2: Restructuring the Bond Step 5: Promote partner’s

identification with disowned attachment needs and aspects of self – integrate into relationship interactions

Step 6: Promote acceptance by each partner of the other’s experience

Step 7: Facilitate expression of needs/wants to restructure interaction – create bonding events

Stage 3: Consolidation

New positions / cycles – enactments New stories – of problems and repair New solutions to pragmatic issues

Stage 3: Consolidation

Step 8: Facilitate emergence of new solutions to old problems

Step 9: Consolidate new positions and cycles of attachment behaviors

Skills for Emotional EngagementR-I-S-S-S-CR: The therapist intentionally REPEATS

key words and phrases for emphasis.I: Therapist uses IMAGES or word

pictures that evoke emotions more than abstract labels tend to do.

S: Therapist frames responses to clients in SIMPLE and concise phrases.

R-I-S-S-S-CS: Therapist will SLOW the process of

the session and the pace of her speech to enable deepening of emotional experience

S: Therapist will use SOFT and soothing tone of voice to encourage a client to deepen experience.

C: Therapist uses CLIENT words and phrases in a supportive/validating way.

Overview of Process

1. Develop an alliance, identify cycle, identify and access underlying emotions, and work to deescalate

2. Engage the withdrawer

3. Soften the pursuer/blamer

4. Create new emotional bonding events and new cycles of interaction

5. Consolidate new cycles of trust, connection and safety, and apply them to old problems that may still be relevant

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