limsky
DESCRIPTION
The Tale of Charles Limsky a patient at the JCRS a Jewish tuberculosis clinic in Denver Colorado. His story is emotional one that will teach about a man who never really felt like he had a homeTRANSCRIPT
Limsky By Patrick Scott
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Chapter 1: I am Charles Limsky
Chapter 2: Another Day
Chapter 3: Family & Friends
Chapter 4: Exhausted
Chapter 5: Luxury of Time
Chapter 6: Changes
Chapter 7: Leaving JCRS
Chapter 8: On My Own
Chapter 9: Inhuman Way
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5
Chapter One
You know that kid that got picked on when
he was in school. The one who got laughed
at and abused every step he took. I wish I
was that kid. When people think back to their
school days they will remember that kid. When
my classmates try and think about me I will
be at best a muddled blur. I was just another
face in the crowd, no friends and not even any
enemies. I was nothing, I came and went like
a breeze and no one noticed I was even there.
This did not end in my school days I carried
this mentality through almost the entirety of
my life. I am a 43 year old man and outside of
my immediately family I still have not had a
close relationship with another human being.
That being said I am not even close to my
close family. My mother is dead and I see my
I am Charles Limsky
Father and two brothers only a couple of times
a week. I am still a lonely and nameless face
in a crowd. This is my life and now that I am
43 years old I wonder if this will ever change.
My name is Charles Limsky. two brothers only
a couple of times a week. I am still a lonely
and nameless face in a crowd. This is my life
and now that I am 43 years old I wonder if this
will ever change. My name is Charles Limsky.
two brothers only a couple of times a week. I
am still a lonely and nameless face in a crowd.
This is my life and now that I am 43 years old
I wonder if this will ever change. My name is
Charles Limsky. two brothers only a couple of
times a week. I am still a lonely and name
less face in a crowd. This is my life and now
that I am 43 years old I wonder if this will ever
change. My name is Charles Limsky.
Chapter Two
6
Today is another day in my life. I wake, I do
the basic routine and read a bit before I go to
work. I enjoy books because the characters in
them are the opposite of me. They go on grand
adventures and take risks and I never do that.
I go about my standard routine and rarely ever
go astray from that it. My routine starts in the
morning with eggs and toast for breakfast
followed by me reading my book until it is
time for me to go to work. My work place is a
market near downtown. After work I go home
eat dinner and then read my book some more. I
usually wrap up in a blanket because the place
I live is a bit chilly. Around nine o’clock I go to
bed so I can be well rested for the next day. It
seems like a boring day but I can’t handle too
much excitement because my health in recent
years has no not been at its best. Nothing too
bad just little nagging illnesses that I’ve had
for awhile now. At least it hasn’t gotten to the
point were it is effecting by job at the market.
The market that I work at is quite busy. I am
the only person who takes care of the fruit at
the market. I make sure bruised or rotten fruit
get off displays and dispose of them properly. It
is a mundane job but I take pride in what I do.
The most exciting parts of my day take part at
the market. There was one time when this one
man was not paying attention to what he was
doing and he knocked over an entire table of
apples. I spent probably 30 minutes crawling
around looking for all the individual apples.
I was a pretty interesting day and it was a
Another Day
Chapter Two
good change of pace from the typical. I
had a surprisingly amount of fun crawling
all over the place that day. I don’t talk to
any of other people at the market. Even
though I’ve been working there for some
time now. This doesn’t surprise me it is
just the way things go in my life. Several
months ago I wasn’t feeling well and I
showed up two hours late for my shift and
no one noticed. I was both relived and
embarrassed. I’m such a specter at that
place that not a single person recognized
I was so late. Its a weird feeling walking
around hoping so badly to be scolded, just
so I could feel like somebody noticed me.
8
Chapter Three
The other big part of my life is my family.
Although I don’t see them very often because
of the vacant nature of my life they comprise
a majority of my interactions. My mother died
some time ago. Our family was hit hard by her
death although her relationship with her family
wasn’t the normal kind of relationship. If I had
to say were my loner tendecies came from I
would definitely point a finger at my mother.
She would stay hope and do the standard wife
duties and did not have any life outside of
her children. Thats the way she wanted it to.
She didn’t want to be the center of attention,
she didn’t want to near anyone besides her
family. Much of her life her eyes were directted
to the ground. She was calm and loving. Her
antisocial nature didn’t hurt her abilty to be
a mother. She was a great mother. She made
sure we were fed and happy. She was always
with us and in doing so she pasted along all
the bad characteristics. She was the one who
showed me to be quiet and not the stand out.
My father was not like my mother and I. He
was much more outgoing and confident. Don’t
get me wrong my father was no captain of
the football team but relative to me he was
the captain of the football team. He did bring
home the bacon and he loved providing for his
family. But he was also a very non-affectionate
man. He loved his kids but he left the job of
raising us to my mother. It was weird how my
parents were so polar opposites but somehow
fell in love. My family was a well oiled machine
until my mother died. She was certainly the
Family & Friends
9
Chapter Three
most quiet part of our family but once she was
gone it became evident that she was by far the
most vital part. Once my father was the only
adult around I receded even farther into my
lonely world. My brothers didnt have as rough
a time because they are more like my father.
They enjoyed the freedom of having only one
parent. I suffered cause I needed the nurturing
that my mother gave me when she was alive.
My current relationship with my family is not
much different then how the relationship was
when I was a child. My brothers hardly bother
with me and my father puts in his time but it
always it feels like it does it just because he
feels obligated. He talks at me about my health
and some of my nagging illnesses but I hardly
ever give that any mind. My brothers do the
same but the their tone is much more hostile.
They have always been that way. They are big,
loud, and opinionated. What my father is to
my mother my brothers are to me. They have
families and wives and seem to think I am
incredibly dysfunctional because I do not have
the same. And maybe they’re not wrong.
The other big part of my life is my family.
Although I don’t see them very often because
of the vacant nature of my life they comprise
a majority of my interactions. My mother died
some time ago. Our family was hit hard by her
death although her relationship with her family
wasn’t the normal kind of relationship. If I had
to say were my loner tendecies came from I
would definitely point a finger at my mother.
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Chapter Three
She would stay hope and do the standard wife
duties and did not have any life outside of
her children. Thats the way she wanted it to.
She didn’t want to be the center of attention,
she didn’t want to near anyone besides her
family. Much of her life her eyes were directted
to the ground. She was calm and loving. Her
antisocial nature didn’t hurt her abilty to be
a mother. She was a great mother. She made
sure we were fed and happy. She was always
with us and in doing so she pasted along all
the bad characteristics. She was the one who
showed me to be quiet and not the stand out.
My father was not like my mother and I. He
was much more outgoing and confident. Don’t
get me wrong my father was no captain of
the football team but relative to me he was
the captain of the football team. He did bring
home the bacon and he loved providing for his
family. But he was also a very non-affectionate
man. He loved his kids but he left the job of
raising us to my mother. It was weird how my
parents were so polar opposites but somehow
fell in love. My family was a well oiled machine
until my mother died. She was certainly the
most quiet part of our family but once she was
gone it became evident that she was by far the
most vital part. Once my father was the only
adult around I receded even farther into my
lonely world. My brothers didnt have as rough
a time because they are more like my father.
They enjoyed the freedom of having only one
parent. I suffered cause I needed the nurturing
that my mother gave me when she was alive.
Chapter Three
My current relationship with my family is
not much different then how the
relationship was when I was a child. My
brothers hardly bother with me and my
father puts in his time but it always it
feels like it does it just because he feels
obligated. He talks at me about my
health and some of my nagging illnesses
but I hardly ever give that any mind. My
brothers do the same but the their tone is
much more hostile. They have always been
that way. They are big, loud, and opinion-
ated. What my father is to my mother my
brothers are to me. They have families and
wives and seem to think I am incredibly
dysfunctional because I do not have the
same. And maybe they’re not wrong.
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Chapter Four
Today is not just another day in my life. I
was greatly harder getting up this morning.
I seemed to be drain of all my energy. It has
been harder and harder lately but today it
seems nearly impossible. It took me so long
to get and of bed I didn’t have my regular
breakfast and had no time to read my book. I
was late for work but that didn’t matter cause
who would even notice after all. Normally my
walk to work only took around 15 minutes but
today it seemed to take forever and when I
got there it took my 20 more minutes than it
usually does. I’m not feeling right. One of my
other nagging illnesses was a cough. A cough
that was steadily getting worse. My father had
told me it was much worse when I saw him
two days ago. He didn’t need to tell me I knew
it was getting more frequent. In fact when I
saw him I was doing my best to not cough so
he would not give me a lector. As soon as I left
the coughing began again, it was awful. I know
I joke about not listening to my family but I
couldn’t help but think I should have listen to
their advice. Its weird that even a humble guy
like me can be the victim of his own pride. My
cough was now happening so often and was
so violent that my usual status of invisible man
could not even maintain. Everyone was looking
at me and I knew it. It was a position I had
never been in before. It was kind of thrilling
have all this attention and people asking me
if I was fine. It went on like this all day long. I
was so relieved when I was finally able to leave
because I was exhausted. The walk home was
Exhausted
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Chapter Four
a harsh trek and it even took me longer than
the walk in morning. Something wasn’t right.
I went home and crashed in my bed. I was so
happy to get to that bed. I’m so tired I don’t
know if I will ever get out of this bed.
I can’t get out of bed today. I’m weak. I can’t
move and I can’t stop coughing. I think I’m
dying. Its frightening to be this ill and even
worse that I have no one to help me because
of my life of self imposed exile. I need my get
to my father’s house. I will make it but I will
probably have to take breaks along the way
because I am so very weak. After getting my
clothes on, which was a surprisingly difficult
task, I starting making my way to my father’s
house. I know I needed the help but their was
something inside of me that didn’t want to go
to my father’s for help just because I when I
got there he would be proven right. But I was
in a bad state so it ultimately my well being is
more important. I didn’t know what to expect
when I got there. The proper reaction to me
would be concern. But my father was not that
kind of guy. I never say him cry I had never
even hugged my father. He was incapable of
ay sort compassion. His philosophy was always
to keep a stiff upper lip and not show any
emotion. This sickness had me fearing for my
life but It did have its positive points. I did get
a lot of attention and concern from strangers
and work which would never normally happen.
And now I have the possibility of seeing my
father show some actual emotion towards me.
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Chapter Four
I finally make it to my father’s front door and
I make my into his house. How is he going to
react? I stumble around looking for him but he
is no where to be found. I make my way into
his living room and pass out on his couch. He
wasn’t home and I didn’t get to see his reac-
tion to my condition.
I wake up several hours later in my father’s
bed. I’m covered with blankets and me he
has obviously taken good care of me. I see
my father peek his head in and ask how I was
doing. Even though I wasn’t able to see him
taking care of me I knew he must have. Even
though I couldn’t stop coughing, I was freezing
cold, sweating, and didn’t have the strength to
myself out of bed; I was happy to know that
even though he rarely showed it my father did
love. He must have walked seen me and the
state I was in and felt the need to make me as
comfortable as I could be. I thought I had only
been asleep for a couple of hours but it turns
out I was asleep for nearly a whole day. I guess
the voyage to his house must have taken more
out of me then I had thought. I was scared
because I was coughing constantly and even
though I had been sleeping for a long period of
time I was still weak. My father had already set
an appointment at a local doctor’s office so we
could figure this out. I was scared I absolutly
needed to know what was wrong with me
but I was so scared to go to the doctor. There
was obviously something wrong but we didn’t
know what. What if it is something horrible
and I am doomed. I guess I have to face it soon because I don’t have the luxury of of time.
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Chapter Five
I’ve been worried about going to the doctor
today. I’ve been at my father’s house for a
couple of days now and I haven’t gotten any
better but I also haven’t gotten any worse.
Once we get to the doctor’s office we sit and
wait for our turn with the doctor. I’m trying not
to cough but I can’t help it. The others waiting
to be seen are rightfully scared to be near me.
I’m pale, skinny, and coughing uncontrollably I
don’t blame them for being leery. I gain control
as much as I can over my coughing but it still
is unnerving to the other patients. As I stare at
the other patients I wonder why are they here?
Are they sick like me? Are they as worried for
their lives as I am for mine? I don’t think so.
Their only great concern is with me and not
with what ever ales them. Sure they are in the
best of health either but they certainly would
not trade places with me. Sitting and waiting
for the enviable bad news that waits for me
in the doctor’s room is unbearable. After a
all too long wait I get called back. The doctor
brings me into their room and run through the
standard procedure, like checking my ears and
throat. This is so frustrating. I am knocking on
heaven’s door and this guy is looking at my
ears. As I’m telling him my symptoms he seems
to be almost uninterested in what I have to
say. He hears that I have stopped talking and
tells me that he is going to take an x-ray of my
chest to see if we can see what is calling my
horrible coughing. He leaves and ten minutes
later a nurse comes and prepares me for my
x-rays. This nurse is much more caring than
Luxury of Time
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Chapter Five
the doctor. The doctor is like my father and
this nurse reminds me of my mother. As she is
leading to the room I think about my life. How
I hid from people and missed out on some of
the most important things that life has to offer.
If this x-ray showed I was doomed, what would
I do? If I were to die who besides my father
and brother would be at my funeral. I can’t
think of a single soul. I’ve lived a life were I
have touched on other’s life. If this illness kills
me there would be no one to remember me it
would be like I never even existed. I was scared
but now I’m only depressed. As I lay down my
mind continues to search for a person that is in
any way different because I had existed. I can’t
think of any. Maybe I helped out someone
at the market pick out fruit and they would
remember me for that. No, they wouldn’t I
have touched any one. The x-ray begins and I
give up. I give up trying to think of someone
and I give up on myself all together. I’m an old
man and I have failed at every major goal a
man my age should have. After the x-ray I sit
and wait for the results. I’m resined to the fact
that I have something bad with me. The doctor
walks into the room very somberly. I know
what he is going to say. I’m not even listening.
He keeps going on and on but I don’t hear him.
I already know I’m sick and dying I don’t need
to know exactly why.
We left the doctor’s and my father told me it
was tuberculosis. I didn’t care. I am trying to
wrap me head around the fact that I have for
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Chapter Five
the most part wasted my life. I can see that my
father actually affected my this situation. Its
so weird seeing him this way. He isn’t crying
or anything but he is obviously taking this
the hard. I gotten say it is great to see him
this way. Once I get home I’m going to get lay
down and prepare to be there for awhile. My
father had been sleeping on the couch since
I had gotten there and it looks like he will be
sleeping there for the foreseeable future. Walk-
ing into the house which again was quite the
chore because of my condition. I don’t know
what is going to happen next. I don’t know if
anything will happen next, I am wondering
if this is the last thing to happen to me.
For the next weeks I was in my father’s bed
and he was on the couch. I didn’t know that
the whole time my father and brother were
sending me out applications to places that
specialize in taking care of people like me. My
condition was so much worse now. It was clear
that I was no longer just sick, I was dying. I
was was completely bedridden at this point
and the tuberculosis clinics were my only hope.
My father had been sending letters to the head
of a tuberculosis clinic in Spivak Colorado.
He was hoping I could forgo the standard
applicant process and be rushed into the clinic
as an emergency case. He was sending letters
telling them about my state and he was getting
replies. I was getting worse and if my father’s
letter writing campaign didn’t work I will not
have much hope of living through this.
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Chapter Six
Today is just another day in the new routine of
my life. I don’t read my books anymore, and I
don’t go to work either. really the only thing I
do is lay in bed and cough. That is all I can do
since the tuberculosis is really having it way
with me. When my father is busy my brothers
take care of me. My situation has melted my
father’s hard exterior a bit but my brothers are
still as cold as ever. They take care of me but
it seems that I am just a burden to them. They
are taking care of me out of obligation rather
out of love. This can’t go on for much longer
and I don’t think I can survive for more than
a couple more weeks. When my father finally
gets back he has good news for me. He had to
wake up me up but once he did he told me that
the JCRS was rushing me in the and was going
to help me get better. JCRS was the tuberculo-
sis clinic he had been writing to for sometime
now and he finally convinced them I was sick
enough that I needed to rushed into care there.
So with the help of my brother, my father got
me ready to head there. It laid down in the
car and was looking in the sky as we drove to
Spivak Colorado. I just watched the clouds go
by. I was still in horrible condition but since I
was going to JCRS I was sure everything would
be fine. So i could now lay down and enjoy the
clouds stream by over head. I knew in my heart
of hearts that going to JCRS doesn’t mean I
out of the woods yet but I don feel like I have
been given another opportunity to survive this
disease. Today is my first day at JCRS. arriving
here was interesting, this place is in the middle
Changes
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Chapter Six
of on where. We where driving up a long road
an then all of a sudden there was a large gate-
way and I assumed that was were we were
going and I was right. There is usually a very
specific list of procedures that each incoming
patient goes through but I was in such bad
shape that they didn’t bother with that at all.
I’ve only been here for a day but I feel so much
better already. The staff told my family that I
was one of the worse cases they had seen in
a long time. This place has saved my life and
I’m happy to be here I’m just wondering if this
place will become just another place where I
become another nameless face in the crowd.
I haven’t had many interactions with other
people here yet. I had a nurse ask me some
basic intake questions but that was about it. I
bet this place is really melancholy and depress-
ing so I wouldn’t imagine there would be al lot
of social interaction going on.
My first several days here at the clinic have
been uneventful. I isn’t hard to believe because
I have been in bed for the vast majority of the
time. I am doing so much better since I got
here. I’ve gone from being horrible sick to just
being sick. Which means I still not well but I
am functioning half normal at this point. I can’t
imagine going back to work or anything but
relative to how I was feeling before I am doing
far better. The nurse who had been taking care
of me is nice and tries to start conversations
with me from time to time but my old tenden-
cies start rearing it head and I find myself with
little to say. It is so discouraging that even
Chapter Seven
after seeing how I wasted my life before
my health scare that I continue to do the
same things over and over again. I guess
I’m going to be just as anonymous here as
I was every where else in my life. But again
the attention my health affords me is great.
They bring every meal to my bed and make
sure I’m totally comfortable at all times.
Yet another silver lining is the illness that
very well might have killed me, and the
probably has a good chance at doing so
still. I’m going to try hard to remember the
feeling I had when I was sure I was going to
die from this illness and maybe put myself
out there more often. This new embolden
attitude might me another up side. Seeing
what I have been before this will hopefully
change me for the better.
24
Chapter Seven
I have now been here at the clinic for several
weeks and I am no longer bedridden. I’m
certainly no spring chicken but I have again
improve another drastic step. My coughing is
still bad but I is far less frequent then before.
I’m sticking to my routine of being a loner
but I need to make an attempt to come out
of my shell. I will start with connecting with
my people who are paid to be nice to me, I
will make friends with the nurses. You need
to crawl before you can walk as the saying
goes. The nurse walks in to bring me my lunch
and I decide that I need to try and talk to her
a bit. She brings the tray over and is setting
everything up and I’m in my head freaking out.
I don’t know what to say and this is my only
chance. I guess I will just blurt out something.
A “how are you?” should work. She smiles and
responds and I respond back. It is working. Oh
no now she is just standing there what should I
say now. I have nothing left to say. This is kind
of awkward I should have never have done
this. She is turing and leaving now so at least
this horrible interaction is over. I kind of regret
that now. Holy cow I am so socially inept that
I can even carry on a simple conversation with
out it being weird. At least I get an A for effort
on this one. Before this I would have never
even tried something like that so at least I am
making steps forward.
It was kind of strange I was the only patient
in my room for the longest period of time. No
one came or went and i they did come they
Leaving JCRS
25
Chapter Seven
were in worse shape then I am. They were
in the kind of shape I was in when I got to
the clinic. I think that the room i am in is for
patients with severe conditions. If I’m going
to meet any people besides nurses I need to
get out of this part of the clinic and into a part
with people who are capable of interacting.
The nurse will be here any time now to check
in on me and I will ask her about being moved
to another section of the clinic. There she is
right now. I hope this conversation goes a little
more smoothly then the last one. This time
she seems surprised that I talked to her. After I
ask her she say that she will look into getting
me into a more general patient area. I’m kind
of second guessing my decision to get more
time with other people even now right after I
have asked the nurse. But putting my self into
uncomfortable scenarios is what I need to do
right now. I am feeling greatly improved as
far as my health goes. My body seems to be
stabilizing although my lungs still seem to be
having trouble. My coughing is less often but
sometimes it seems when I do cough it is more
violent. That is not my worry right now. It is the
nurses job to worry. The only thing on my mind
needs to making up for years of hiding out and
talking to people. If the nurses convinces who
ever is in charge that I need to be moved that
would be perfect. I am ready.
Today is a great day for me. They have decided
that moving in with the healthier patients
would be ok and now I don’t have to be so
26
Chapter Seven
lonely in the section of the clinic were all the
emergency cases are. They put me next to this
guy who is very talkative. He makes all the
nurses laugh and all the other patients in the
room know his name. It is crazy. I have been
surround by people who are near death and
had no idea that there were patients like this
here. I thought everyone was as sick and quiet
as I am. It turns out I was just in the wrong
part of the hospital. It really shocks me when
this guy who is so full of life and has everyone
eating out of the palm of his hand address me.
He calls me guy since he does not know my
name. I am so intimidated. I can’t hold a con-
versation with this guy his social skills are way
out of my league. For some reason they guy
has taken a specific interest in me and would
let me hide like I want to, he just keeps asking
me questions. One after another he keeps the
questions coming. Before I know it we are hav-
ing a full on conversation from our respective
beds. The only thing that stops our talking is
both of our coughing. This is crazy this guy’s
cool must be rubbing off on me. I ask him what
is name is and he says “ Steve Baum”.
I have been in the same room as Steve for
some time and now and he is having a great
effect on me. Talking to him makes me more
confident and has changed they way I interact
with everyone. I have talked to a handful
of other patients besides him. I quite a bit
easier than I had imagined since we all have
tuberculosis in common. I’m also talking to the
27
Chapter Seven
nurse too now I’m talking to everyone. Steve
Baum has shaken me out of my shell and now
I’m doing what I should have been doing my
entire life. I can’t escape it, tuberculosis might
be the best thing that has ever happen to. I’m
taking risks and doing things I would usually.
This place has been great for me. I’m feeling
well enough now the nurses and doctors are
doing a great job. I’m flourishing in this place. I
am no longer another faceless man in a crowd.
I am making friends here.
Now when the nurse brings my lunch in
we have a good conversation. I know other
patients and they know me. It’s great. Thank
goodness I was put next to Steve Baum and
he helped me out. I haven’t gotten any letter
or message of any sort from my father though.
I was so busy being here in JCRS and I have
forgotten all about my like back home. I rarely
think think of my father and a never think
of my brothers and my job. I have mentally
abandoned that part of my life. Can you blame
me it is so much better here. At JCRS I’m a
person and at home I’m a burden. At JCRS I
have friends and at home I’m a loner. At JCRS
I take risks and at home I hardly ever break
from my mundane routine. I feel slightly guilty
but then again I don’t. The staff and patients at
JCRS embrace me. They have become more of a
family then my actual family has ever been.
Today is another day at JCRS. I say hi to every-
one and the day is going great. Though some
28
Chapter Seven
how it seemed a little different today.uI was
distraught. I had made so many strides during
my time at JCRS and now I was going to be
thrown back into a world were I was nothing
special. In fact I was nothing out in the world
outside of JCRS. I was lead back to my room
and I didn’t talk to any one. I had little time left
at JCRS. They have given me a specific date
when they are going to release me. I have no
idea what i am going to after they let me go.
There is no way I am going back to my old life.
My old life was pointless and I didn’t want to
go back to that. I didn’t want to go back to old
life of loneliness and being a burden. When I
sent a letter to my father I and told him I didn’t
have tuberculosis I could sense the indiffer-
ence. He was just happy to know not an more
of his money would be going to clinic. I don’t
want to be there. I don’t belong there, I can’t
go back to that. My job is no better and even
though I don’t have tuberculosis I still am sick
and working is out of the picture. I have no
where to go. Today is my my last day at the
clinic. I’m saying goodbye to everyone and it
isn’t easy. I really loved this place. This place
help be a better person I don’t know anyone
outside of these walls. The last person I talk to
is Steve. He holds a special place in my heart
because he is the one who helped me out.
He is the one who helped me see the light.
After that I and my few belongings are out on
Coflax Street right next to the giant gateway
that had greeted my upon my arrival at JCRS. I
was alone. I had a choice to make should I go
Chapter Seven
back to the horrible life I had at home and
go back to being lonely. I don’t enough
think my family wants me back home I
sent a letter asking for money to get back
home and I got nothing. I think they might
have decided to forgot about me. I can’t
blame them at all, I want to forget the
person they knew as well. I don’t want
to do that. I want to be in the clinic with
all my new friends were I can be myself. I
can’t be myself any where else now. That
was the only place I could be myself and
I can never go back into that place. I will
try and start a new life up here in Denver.
Hopefully some of that magic from the
clinic is still on me. But I doubt it, I need
this place.
30
Chapter Eight
I have been looking for a job for a
couple of days now and no luck. My
health is not well enough to perform
most jobs. I have had to resort to
collecting trash and well sell ing it the
this guy on Colfax. I brought him a ton
of trash and all he gave me was fifteen
dollars. There was so much trash there I
should have gotten like $40. That damn
guy owes me money. That was the only
way I could find to make money out
here. I have no friends and I don’t want to go back to my family and my old life. And it seems all too clear that
they don’t want me back either. They’re
replying to any of my letters and they
have never talked to me in any way since
On My Own
I have gotten to the clinic. I didn’t notice
while I was in the clinic because I was so
very content in there that I never even
thought of home. And it seems that home never even thought about me. I want
to make Denver work but with my health
I don’t see anything happening too soon.
I stuck in this town with no money and
no friends. I have felt lonely my entire life but I have never felt lonelier than I do right now. Be-
fore I came to the clinic I was so scared
that I had wasted my life and now that I
can never go back to the clinic it seems
I have no more hope. I might never be
Chapter Eight
happy. I can’t talk people out in the real
world, it just doesn’t work.
My final chance at being happy was at that place and now it seems I have no chance at every being happy. I d o n ’ t
k n o w w h a t I a m g o i n g t o d o . I
d o n ’ t k n o w i f I w a n t t o l i v e a n y
m o r e . L i v i n g a n o t h e r t e n y e a r s
l i k e t h e w a y I h a v e l i v e d t h e
f i r s t 4 3 w o u l d b e p o i n t l e s s . I
n e e d t o f i g u r e o u t w h a t I ’ m
g o i n g t o d o w i t h m y l i f e .
Chapter Nine
Charles Limsky, who came here
recently From Colorado Springs
ended his life early today in his
room at the Windsor Hotel. 18th and
Larimer street. Limsky, police
determined from letters found in his
possession, was a healthseeker.
Frank Williams at the hotel
discovered the body at 7:30am.
Limsky had shot himself thru the
head. But the report was unheard by
others in the hotel. Deputy Coroner
George Bostwick pronouced the
case a suicide and removed the
body to the county morgue. Limsky
Healthseeker Kills Self In Downtown Hotel
had lived in Colorado for the past 20
years. According to Coroner Bostwick
despondency over il l health and lack
of funds is believed to have been
Limsky’s motive. A letter found in the
room indicates Limsky left the Jewish
home for consumptives at Edgewater.
Hotel employees at the Windsor hotel
said today that they knew nothing
about Limsky, who registered there at
3:00 yesterday afternoon.
The following note found in the room
was written in Hebrew. It starts with
a quotation from the Talmud, the
Jewish Bible and reads as follows:
“He who saves one life is considered
as if he had preseverd the whole world.”
Therefore, I want to create a world by
commiting suicide. I want to thank Dr.
Spivak and all others who were so kind to
me while I was at the Jewish Relief
Society. There is a junk dealer in West
Colfax who owes me $35. This is to
be added to my estate. I have a trunk
and two grips and as I die in an inhuman way I want to be diposed
in an inhuman way by having my body
and the trunk and the two grips burned. I
have an insurance policy for $1,000 which
I want to pay my funeral expenses and all
other indebtedness. I want the balance to
go to Dr. Spivak and his friends.
“Wishing all good health, good luck & best wishes, I remain, affectionatly.
Charles Limsky