lesson plan 6 how to handle tricky situations · 1. explain that friendship fires should always be...

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Lesson Plan 6 How to handle Tricky Situations

Objective

This session covers common scenarios and ‘hot topics’ that tweens face in their friendships. These

scenarios have come from the tens of thousands of kids that we’ve worked with and represent

questions that have been asked the most. Some of the tricky topics include: dealing with someone who

asks to be their partner every time, the complicated world of birthday party invitations, being caught in

the middle between friends, and stealing friends. This session also digs into digital etiquette and cyber

safety, teaching children tips for keeping their friendships healthy online.

The key outcomes in this lesson include:

G Students will be able to say, “No!” to their friends in a kind way by saying, “No, because…” to ensure they are explaining themselves.

G Students will be able to describe the best way to handle birthday party invitations to minimize hurt feelings.

G Students will be able to explain how to avoid being caught in the middle of two friends who aren’t getting along.

G Students will be able to analyze the concept of ‘stealing friends’ and identify the Friendship Fires® that ignite when this happens.

G Students will be able to list ways to keep friendships healthy online including the importance of always dealing with Friendship Fires® face-to-face.

G Through the Friendology Project (spreading kindness online), students will put to practice the power of kindness online and demonstrate the positive impact it has on others.

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Materials

Each session requires a computer, projector, and a screen to display the slideshow. Some sessions also require internet access. You will need:

Facilitator’s Guide Folders & pencils

Session 6 Slideshow & Teaching Notes Music!

Box (or something similar) for the Interview a Mentor entry forms

Before the next session:

Review Lesson Plan 7 – How to Take Control & Feel Heard

Post-it Notes (enough for at least one per student) *shaped like a butterfly if possible!*

Teaching Notes

Copyright © 2016 URSTRONG ^&All Rights Reserved. &Written by Dana Kerford. &www.urstrong.com

This session covers common scenarios and ‘hot topics’ that tweens face in their friendships. These scenarios have come from the tens of thousands of kids that we’ve worked with and represent questions that have been asked the most. Some of the tricky topics include: dealing with someone who asks to be their partner every time, the complicated world of birthday party invitations, being caught in the middle between friends, and stealing friends. This session also digs into digital etiquette and cyber safety, teaching children tips for keeping their friendships healthy online.

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Teaching Notes


Ask the students to share what their mantras are! Ask them, “Why is it important to have a mantra?” Ask the students how their “Looking into Your Sole” projects are coming along. Tell them you can’t wait to see their soles/souls on the final session!

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Teaching Notes


Read the scenario and say to them, “Raise your hand if this tricky situation has ever happened to you!” Lots of times kids feel that saying “No!” to their friend isn’t being nice. We want them to understand that it’s okay to say no sometimes (and important!), but you are going to teach them how to say it in a kinder way!

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Teaching Notes


Reiterate the importance of using the word “because”! Say, “Explain yourself and be sure to be honest.” For instance, if someone asks to be their partner again they could say, “Well, actually no, because we were partners last time and I’d like to go with someone else this time. We can be partners again next time, though!” This forces students to also have a good reason. Ask the question: “What if someone wants to be my partner and I want to say NO because last time we were partners they didn’t listen to any of my ideas and we got into a huge Friendship Fire? What should I say?” In some cases, a kid will put up their hand and say: “I’ll say NO because I’m going to be someone else’s partner this time.” Then ask them, “Is that the honest reason? Remember, you have to use the word BECAUSE and be honest!” Advise them that they should say, “No, because… last time we were partners you didn’t listen to any of my ideas and we got into a huge Friendship Fire.” This will spark an honest conversation with your friend. This is what URSTRONG is all about: creating friendships that are transparent.

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Teaching Notes


Read the scenario and say to them, “Raise your hand if this tricky situation has ever happened to you!” Note: This is a very sensitive, emotionally-charged topic for Tween students and almost all of them have had a Friendship Fire at some point or another about a birthday party. Check out our blog post on www.urstrong.com detailing why birthday parties are so hard for kids!

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Teaching Notes


Read through the QuickTip! Reinforce that school is not a private place. Sending invitations privately means dropping it off in their mailbox, sending them an email, or calling them on the phone. Explain the importance of including the names of other people who are invited – so they’re not tempted to ask around and potentially hurt someone’s feelings. Ask the students, “Stand up if you’ve ever had hurt feelings over a birthday party before!”

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Teaching Notes


Start off by asking this question: “How many of you have been in a Friendship Sandwich before – where you felt caught in the middle of two friends?” Ask them, “Nod ‘yes’ if you think you should tell your friend about what the person said. Nod ‘no’ if you think you shouldn’t say anything. Don’t move your head if you’re not sure.” You will see lots of kids either nod ‘yes’ or don’t move their head.

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Teaching Notes


Explain the QuickTip. Students think they have a moral obligation to tell their friend if someone says something mean about them. Explain to students that that’s called gossiping and will make the situation worse. That’s sparking a Fire! Instead, let students know that they have a moral obligation to stand up for their friend in that moment.

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Teaching Notes


Explain that staying out of the middle (avoiding getting sucked into gossip) requires two steps: 1. Stand up for the friend they’re talking about. 2. Immediately change the topic.

If they don’t do this and instead listen to them, empathize, ask questions…they’ve been sucked in. Like a Friendship Ninja, they stand up for their friend and change the topic. Say, “This lets them know that you’re not the kind of person who’s going to engage in gossip!” If the gossiper continues, they might even need to put up their hands and say, “I’m not getting in the middle!” and walk away.

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Teaching Notes


Explain the scenario. Ask the kids, “Raise your hand if you feel like the other kid just stole your friend.” Most students will feel more upset with the kid who took their friend away than with their friend who ditched them mid-game. Get them to see that there are two Fires here: “You are upset because your friend ditched you and you’re upset at the other kid for stealing your friend.” Help them understand that their focus should be on putting out the Friendship Fire with the kid who they were in the middle of the game with. Note: Check out our blog post at www.urstrong.com called “She’s Stealing my Friends” detailing this scenario.

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Teaching Notes


Read the QuickTip, getting them to see how this is a Friendship Fire with the kid who left mid-game. Ask them, “How do we put out a Friendship Fire? We retell the situation and explain how it made us feel. For example, “When you left when we were mid-game, I felt like you ditched me.”Get your students to practice putting out this Fire. Then say, “Okay, now we know how to put out the Fire! But, what could your friend have done to avoid that situation altogether? What could your friend have said? Let’s practice that! Who thinks they can do it?” Choose a student and then say to that student, “Hey, come here, I want to show you something!” and see if they do a good job handling that. Ideally they say something along the lines of, “Oh cool, I’d love to see it, but I’m just in the middle of a game with my friend right now. I’ll come find you after we’re done!” and then continue playing the game.

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Teaching Notes


Read the scenario. Ask the kids, “What does TBH mean?” They’ll all tell you, “Too be honest.” This is a topic that you could spend hours talking to the kids about. You can get a sense of what platforms they’re on online by saying, “Wink at me if you’re on Instagram. Wink at me if you’re on Twitter, SnapChat, Facebook, AskFM, Kik. Any other ones I’ve missed?” Now ask them, “Raise your hand if you’ve seen mean-on-purpose behavior online.” Almost all students have witnessed this behavior. Before showing the video, which highlights cyberbullying, ask the kids, “What’s an analogy?” Explain how analogies work and tell them you’re going to show them a video about cyberbullying. Say, “This video compares cyberbullying to a virus. What’s a virus?” Show the video and discuss their reflections. u Video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5PZ_Bh-M6o

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5PZ_Bh-M6o





Teaching Notes


Read through the QuickTips for keeping their relationships healthy online: 1. Explain that Friendship Fires should always be dealt with face-to-face. 2. Explain that mean-on-purpose behavior online should be reported and all platforms have a

way for doing this. 3. Explain that if you wouldn’t say it to their face, do not type it. Tell the students that adults

call that “Proof!” or “Documentation!” 4. Do not send pics you wouldn’t want your parents to see…even on SnapChat! 5. Consider the person cannot hear your tone of voice or see your body language. Messages

are so easily misinterpreted. Give the example of, “Shut up!” Kids sometimes say that in a friendly tone to their friends when someone has told them something they can’t believe or surprises them! When it’s typed, however, it can be interpreted many ways.

6. Keep passwords private because of Friendship Fact #1!

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Teaching Notes


Tell the students that you want them to try to ‘spread the love’ online. Ask them, “Does anyone have any other ideas of ways that we can spread positivity and kindness online? Before the next session, I want you to do at least 5 acts of kindness online!” Remind the students their Shoe Art is due in two sessions.

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lesson plan 6 how to handle tricky situations · 1. explain that friendship fires should always be...

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