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Leadership Education II: Communication, Awareness, and Leadership

Chapter 1: Lesson 2

Learning to listen

The Listening Process:

- Hearing is one of five senses; it's your long-range sense

- Hearing gives you the most information

The Difference Between Listening and Hearing:

- Hearing is continuous, unfocused, and unconscious.

Listening - a focused, conscious activity.

The need for better listening:

- Listening is the neglected communication skill

*Types of listening:

1- passive listening

2- competitive listening

3- active listening

4- reflective listening

Passive listening- One way communication in which the receiver does not

provide feedback and may or may not understand the sender's message.

Ex- listening to the TV radio or teacher who doesn't take questions

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Competitive listening – takes place when the receiver is not listening closely.

You listen only long enough to get what you think is the necessary information.

Ex- competitive listening occurs when people talk pass each other in an

argument neither person is listening to the other.

Active listening – a genuine, two-way communication.

Ex- The receiver is paying for attention and thinking about the information

the receiver ask questions if you're she does not understand the sender

Reflective listening – the receiver not only actively listen to the speaker but also

tries to interpret the speakers feelings.

Ex- people that can't talk without moving their hands

The importance of listening:

-Failing to listen can affect your health, or even your life.

*Myths about listening:

Myth #1- Listening is not my problem.

Myth #2- listening and hearing are the same.

Myth #3- Good readers are good listeners.

Myth #4- Smart people are better listeners.

Myth #5- Listening improves with age.

Myth #6- Listening skills are hard to learn.

*Bad Listening Habits:

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Bad habit #1- Thinking about what to say rather than listening to the speaker.

Ex- when you're conversing with someone, you're also carrying on an

internal conversation, a conversation in your head

Bad habit #2- Talking when you should be listening.

Ex- talking in class while the teacher is teaching a lesson

Bad habit #3- Interrupting.

Ex- speaking to someone before someone has finished a previous

statement

Bad habit #4- Listening for what you expect to hear, rather than what is actually

said.

Ex- Your previous experiences can create ideas and opinions that can

lead to stereotyping and prejudging

Bad habit #5- Being preoccupied.

Ex- plans, worries, bedrooms, fantasies, and memories that intrude you're

thinking

Bad habit #6- Falling victim to stereotyping.

Ex- misunderstood communication

Bad habit #7- Being self-centered.

Ex- "what's in it for me?"

Bad habit #8- Not paying attention.

Ex- "first, seek to understand,"

Practicing effective listening techniques:

*Techniques for effective listening-

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1- Clarifying

2- Restating, paraphrasing, or mirroring

3- Acknowledging

4- Summarizing

5- Framing

6- Note taking

Clarifying- you ask specific questions to ensure you have understood the

message

Ex- "When you say the research paper is due on the 15th, do you mean in

class or by the end of the day?"

Restating, paraphrasing, or mirroring – use the speakers words or your own

and repeat what you think the speaker has said.

Ex-"Did I understand you correctly? Did you say that classes will be

canceled if the temperature falls below 0°F?

Acknowledging – letting the speaker know do you have understood the

message and that you appreciate the speaker’s point of view.

Ex- "I appreciate the fact that you can't attend every meeting. I realize that

you live much further from school then most students do."

Summarizing – a way to review progress in conversation, you touch on the main

ideas or conclusions, not on each individual point. You restate the main ideas

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briefly and set the tone for the next subject or conversation.

Ex- " OK. We've agreed that I'll work your shift on Thursday evening and

Joel work mine on Friday morning, right?"

Framing- let you see you whether the speaker is open to hearing your ideas.

You can also let you draw suggested solutions from the speaker.

Ex- "I can see your point that we need new team equipment but that we

won't get it soon. Do you think we can make better use of what we have?"

Note taking – jot down words, phrases, diagrams, or the occasional sentence

that reminds you of the speaker’s main points.