knowing i am: gospel of john reconciling with our...

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Knowing I AM: Gospel of John “Reconciling With Our Future” Kevin Haah John 21:1-25 May 10, 2015

[Slide 1] Vision Statement: Gospel-Centered.

Share about the Sabbatical.

Happy Mother’s Day! My name is Kevin Haah. I am one of the pastors here at

New City.

I. Introduction and Passage

[Slide 2] Today is the 40th sermon on the Gospel of John called Knowing I AM,

and it is the last sermon. If you want to catch up, all of the sermons on video, mp3, and

manuscripts are available online on our website. We are on the last Chapter of the book.

Last Sunday, we started a two-part series on the story of Peter’s restoration. [Slide 3]

Last week’s sermon was entitled, “Reconciling With Our Past” and today’s sermon is

entitled, “Reconciling With Our Future.”

Reading of the Passage:

[Slide 4] John 21:1-19: 1 Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee. It

happened this way: 2 Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus), Nathanael

from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. 3 “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with

you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

[Slide 5] 4 Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not

realize that it was Jesus. 5 He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“No,” they answered. 6 He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.”

When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of

fish.

[Slide 6] 7 Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As

soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment

around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. 8 The other

disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far

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from shore, about a hundred yards. 9 When they landed, they saw a fire of burning

coals there with fish on it, and some bread.

[Slide 7] 10 Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” 11 So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was

full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. 12 Jesus said to

them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are

you?” They knew it was the Lord. 13 Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to

them, and did the same with the fish. 14 This was now the third time Jesus

appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.

[Slide 8] 15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son

of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” 16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

[Slide 9] 17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He

said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. 18 Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you

dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will

stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you

do not want to go.” 19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter

would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

[Slide 10] 20 Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was

following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the

supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) 21 When Peter saw him,

he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

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22 Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to

you? You must follow me.” 23 Because of this, the rumor spread among the

believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not

die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to

you?”

[Slide 11] 24 This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them

down. We know that his testimony is true. 25 Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I

suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would

be written.

Last Sunday, we talked about the story of Peter’s restoration. Peter was the leader of the

disciples. At the Last Supper, Peter confidently declared that even if all of the other

disciples fell away, he would never fall away. He was confident about his ability to love

Jesus self-sacrificially. He declared that he would die for Jesus. But, he did fall away.

He not only denied Jesus, he called down curses and swore that he didn’t know Jesus.

Like Peter, we have all done or said things we thought we would never do or say.

And we regret some things we have done or said. How did Jesus restore Peter? How can

Jesus restore us?

The journey of following Jesus started after Peter and his partners had fished all

night and caught nothing, and in the morning, Jesus told them to put their net down in a

certain place, and when they did so, they caught a huge amount of fish. In response to

the catch, Peter fell down on his knees and said, “Get away from me, Lord, I am a

sinner.” As he came to see the holiness of Jesus, he saw his sinfulness. But, Jesus said,

follow me. I will make you a fisher of men. That’s how the journey of following Jesus

started, and now, after the resurrection, and right before ascension, something very

similar happened. The disciples had been fishing all night and caught nothing; and he told

them to put the net down on a certain place, and they caught a huge load of fish.

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Jesus could have appeared to Peter at anytime. Why did he do so in a situation so

similar to when Peter first realized his sins? Is there a reason Jesus built a bonfire as the

place of meeting? Does it have to do with the fact that Peter denied Jesus three times in

front of a bonfire? Why did Jesus ask Peter 3 times, do you love me? Does this have to

do with the fact that Peter denied Jesus three times? Why so many similarities? What’s

going on? Jesus was bringing Peter back to the place where he realized that he was a

sinner. Jesus was telling Peter that the essence of following him, the essence of servant-

leadership is humility. Then, Jesus asked him, do you agape me more than any of the

other disciples? Jesus used the word for love that is the highest form of love. Would you

sacrifice your life for me unconditionally more than any of the other disciples? He is

asking, do you really think you are better than all the other disciples? Peter answered, I

phileo you, using a lesser form of love, meaning, I want to be with you (a friendship

love). Peter was humble about his ability to love Jesus. Jesus asked again, do you agape

me? Peter answered again, I phileo you. It is a sign of Peter’s humility. I don’t know if I

can do all that for you. I don’t know if I am all that. But, I know I want to be with you.

Then, Jesus asked the third time, do you phileo me? Peter said yes, I phileo you. Jesus is

saying that it is okay to be humble and less than confident about our love for God. He

meets us where we are. He called him to his mission and leadership. He said each time,

feed my sheep.

I shared with you last Sunday the irony about Peter. Jesus essentially said that

you will agape me. You will die for me. That’s what Jesus said. And we know from a

second Century writing that Peter died on a cross as a martyr. He was crucified upside

down. He did sacrifice his life for Jesus. He did agape Jesus.

Our call is to walk with God in humility. When we start our walk with God, we

often start in humility, when we realized our sins and asked God to forgive us. But, as

God changes us, we sometimes think that we are better than others. We overestimate

ourselves just like Peter overestimated himself. It is better to stay humble, realize that we

are broken, and keep seeking after Jesus, and relying on Jesus.

That’s is the gospel life. That’s at the heart of Christian growth and leadership.

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But, the story does not end here. God is working on you; he is going to change

you. But, it’s not just about our character. He has a plan for us as well.

I know that we often think of God having great plans to make us prosper and

succeed, and we think that if we remain faithful, God will bless us with stuff, or respect,

or people who love us all around us. He is going to give us success, we say.

Is that what Jesus said?

After Peter said he phileo (love) Jesus, Jesus told Peter that he would die a

martyr’s death. “They will take you to where you do not want to go.” Then, Jesus said to

Peter: Follow me! In other words, “You are going to die for me. Follow me!” That’s an

amazing prophecy and an amazing invitation.

You know, this is not the first time Jesus said something like this. And this is not

just to Peter. [Slide 12] Jesus said (in Matthew 16:24-25), “24 Then Jesus said to his

disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their

cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever

loses their life for me will find it.”

Now, we have to take this seriously. The call of Jesus is not to a comfortable life.

It is not to worldly prosperity. It is not to upward mobility. It is to take up the cross and

follow Jesus. It is to downward mobility and to follow Jesus.

This is really important. I think we get this wrong all the time. I want to try to

explain this a little further.

[Slide 13] This is what Henri Nouwen said in a little book called, In the Name of

Jesus (I highly recommend this book—it is a book on Christian leadership):

“Immediately after Peter has been commissioned to be a leader of his sheep, Jesus

confronts him with the hard truth that the servant-leader is the leader who is being led to

unknown, undesirable, and painful places. The way of Christian leader is not the way of

upward mobility in which our world has invested so much, but the way of downward

mobility ending on the cross. This might sound morbid and masochistic, but for those

who have heard the voice of the first love and said yes to it, the downward-moving way

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of Jesus is the way to the joy and the peace of God, a joy and peace that is not of this

world.”

This story of Peter and Henri Nouwen’s book had some impact on my life when I

was trying to discern God’s call in my life. I had sensed God’s call to full time pastoral

ministry since I was in high school. I had a pretty dramatic experience of God’s call.

Then, in college, I had another call experience, and I promised God that I would go into

full time ministry after college. But, towards the end of college, I struggled with my faith

intellectually and abandoned faith for a while. I came back into faith stronger some time

later, but I felt like the promise that I made earlier was made by another person. By the

time I graduated from college, I struggled with whether I should go to seminary or law

school. My parents were Christians but greedy for my worldly success. They wanted to

see me succeed. So, they made this pitch to me: If you are not sure about going into

ministry, and you go into ministry and end up dropping out, you will not bring glory to

God; but if you go to law school, and God calls you later, and you give up law and go

into ministry, you will bring glory to God. If you are not sure, you should go to law

school. That argument sounded convincing to me. Of course, it was my decision, but

their argument helped me to make the decision.

Then, law school had a trajectory of its own. It was about getting the best grades;

then, getting the best job and the most prestigious firm, and then, it was about making

partner. You just keep going. And I was decent at it and I enjoyed practicing law. I

think I was like a 6th year lawyer when my mom called me and asked me and Grace to

come over. She and dad had something important to talk to me about. My mom had

become a prayer warrior. She prayed all the time. She fasted every Friday, all day, and

prayed. She told me there is something that God had been convicting her about and she

and dad had been repenting of this. They said, they knew that God had a call on my life,

yet because of their desire and greed to see me succeed, they misled me to go to law

school. She was crying as she spoke, and said, if you still have any desire to go into

ministry, I want to encourage you wholeheartedly to do so. This was a powerful moment.

I don’t know if you know about Korean culture, but it is very difficult for parents to

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encourage downward economic mobility to their kids. It goes against the grain of the

success oriented Korean culture. So, I knew that this was the work of the Holy Spirit. I

cried as I received their encouragement, but told them not to worry because I am doing

fine practicing law. At that time, I was in hot pursuit of partnership at a law firm. My

mom died about 6 months later of brain aneurism. So, this is many ways is the last word

of my mom.

The Holy Spirit broke through my mom and later me, that the call to follow Jesus

is not a call to upward mobility; it is a call to take up the cross and follow. And in the

most fantastic way, this is the way to joy and living with purpose and meaning.

Now, I know some of you are a little confused. [Slide 14]How could promise of

downward mobility, suffering, pain, and agonizing death lead to joy? Put another way,

why should we follow Jesus if that’s what’s ahead of us?

Let me give you three thoughts on this.

[Slide 15]First, because Jesus is the truth. Don’t follow him because he makes

you feel good, helps you overcome your issues, brings blessings in your life, or because

he works in your life. Follow him because he is true. Jesus is God who came down and

died for us because he loves us. If that is true, we follow him no matter what. It doesn’t

matter what we go through as we follow him. Everything else is an illusion. This is

reality. It’s kind of like that [Slide 16]Matrix choice: do you want to take the blue pill

and continue to live in the dreamland or do you want to take the red pill and wake and

live in reality, live in the truth, and see how deep the rabbit-hole goes? We are willing to

take up the cross and follow because he is the truth.

[Slide 17]Second, because it brings real joy and peace. Jesus said that if you

lose your life, you will save your life. If you are willing to let go, you will find joy. You

see, we all need something to fill our emptiness. We think that the things of this world,

success, respect, fame, or maybe relationships, mom, dad, spouse, romance—we think

these are the things that will bring us joy and happiness. But, Jesus said no. It is only in

Jesus we find life. He is the only one who can give life. If we seek to get life from

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something or someone other than Jesus, what we will end up doing is to suck out life

from them, and they don’t or can’t give life.

• Because we get life from Jesus, we are able to make ourselves uncomfortable for

others.

• Because we get life from Jesus, we are able to forgive other when they offend us.

• Because we get life from Jesus, we are able to be honest even when it will

damage our career.

• Because we get life from Jesus, we are able to let go of control and power, and

choose to love.

• The paradox is that if we are willing to let go of the things that we think will give

us life, we will find true life in Christ!

[Slide 18]Third (why we should follow Jesus with so much pain and suffering

ahead of us), because this is only temporary, and the glory of the resurrection and

the coming of our Lord Jesus and the restoration of the creation is our future. There

is more to life that what we see and hear. The reality is that Jesus had resurrected, and he

promised that will also be resurrected. Therefore, our suffering is only temporary. We

get to be with the Lord forever in new heaven and earth. When we know that that is our

real future, we live in the presence in a different way.

Think about the way Peter might have lived, knowing that he was going to die a

martyr. He was following Jesus not so that he will get rich, not so that he will live a

happy life, not so that he will be respected and famous; he was going to follow because

he knew that the reality of the Kingdom of God was greater than anything this life has to

offer. He was free from the fear of death.

I heard a story about a Vietnamese pastor who boldly preaches the gospel of Jesus

Christ. Someone asked him if he was afraid of getting arrested? He said, no. If they

arrest me and put me in jail, I’ll have a chance to share the gospel with people in prison.

If they torture me, I’ll get to experience the suffering of our Lord. If they kill me, I’ll get

to be with the Lord. If they don’t arrest me, I’ll get to share the gospel now.

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He is indeed free. Maybe letting go of our comforts and visions of upward

mobility will free us to be all that God is calling us to be.

Maybe God is calling us to change what it means to be successful in life.

I know we have been indoctrinated to think that success means making more

money, being more powerful, moving up in the world, getting recognition and respect,

becoming the top dog.

But, Jesus calls us to follow him and engage in the mission that he has given us

regardless of where it might lead. Apparently, not everyone will die a painful death like

Peter. Immediately after he found out his fate, Peter asked Jesus: what about John? And

Jesus said, “If I want him to stay alive until I return, what is that to you? You must

follow me.” Jesus is saying, don’t think about the result. Don’t think about others.

Don’t think about what is going to happen. The important thing is that you follow Jesus,

that you are faithful and obedient to the call that Jesus has made in your life.

So, here an alternate definition of success: finding out what God wants you to do,

and doing them.

Here is what Jesus told Peter to do: love me, follow me and feed my sheep. That

is our call as well. It is to be in a relationship with Jesus, follow Jesus, and live in the

mission that he has given us. Our job is to figure out what he wants us to do and do

them. That’s God’s definition of success. It’s not about getting ahead or moving up the

ladder; we are already there because of Jesus. We now just try to figure out what God

wants us to do and do them, and walk in the work that he wants us to do. That’s the

definition of success.

[Slide 19]That’s exactly what Paul did: for example, during one of his mission

trips, in Acts 16:6-10:

6Andthey went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been

forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. 7And when they had come

up to Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not

allow them. 8So, passing by Mysia, they went down to Troas. 9And a vision

appeared to Paul in the night: a man of Macedonia was standing there, urging him

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and saying, "Come over to Macedonia and help us." 10And when Paul had seen

the vision, immediately we sought to go on into Macedonia, concluding that God

had called us to preach the gospel to them.

Once he figured out what God wanted him to do, he went forward and did it, no matter

what. If you read on, he had limited “success” in terms of how things turned out. He

ended up getting jailed, beaten naked, and getting kicked out. But, he wasn’t fazed.

Why? Apostle Paul’s definition of success was not moving up in the ladder, not even

what the number of people who are saved, how big the church they started were, or even

how well received they were, it was merely doing what God wanted them to do. You

see, our success is not defined by the result. It is defined by our obedience.

After God had called us to plant a church in downtown Los Angeles, there was a

point when Grace and I were worried about a lot of things. Would it work? Would we

be able to reach the residents in and near downtown? Why would they come to our

church?

• Then, as we were thinking about who we are targeting, I thought it was just too hard

to target both the skid row people and the new residents (the loft dwellers) of

downtown. I can see intentional creation of multi-ethnic church because I’ve seen

that, but to seek to build a multi-socioeconomic church where we bring the skid row

people together with the loft dwellers, I just didn’t think that it would work.

• Then, God spoke to Grace and me one morning. We were on a date at Starbucks. I

was sharing with her about what I heard a few days ago about the biblical definition

of success: figure out what God wants you to do, and doing it. I said to Grace: I

sense that God wants us to seek to build a multi-ethnic and multi-socioeconomic

church reaching out to both the skid row residents and the new residents of

downtown. I don’t know whether this will work or not, but I don’t think whether

something will work should decide whether we should do what God wants us to do.

Even if it does not work, I think that’s up to God. Our job is to just discern his will

and obey.

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Then, Grace said: it’s interesting that you say that. I was surfing the web and

Googled Ralph Winter. (he’s the founder of US Center for World Mission and William

Carey University and one of the most influential mission thinkers alive right, and Grace

used to work for him as a book publisher and editor). She was wondering how he was

doing. And she happened to find his autobiography on the web, and [Slide 20] one

section of that autobiography really struck her:

He said: “after we made the decision to leave Fuller we did not at any point in the

next thirteen years, during which we paid off the campus, feel that God had

promised us success. We only felt that the value of the goal was sufficient

justification to go all out, sink or swim. I coined the phrase, “You do not evaluate

a risk by the probability of success but by the worthiness of the goal.” We were

willing to fail because the goal we sensed was so urgent and strategic.

That phrase spoke to the soul of Grace and me: “You don’t evaluate a risk by the

probability of success but by the worthiness of the goal.” When we heard each other, we

started to cry because we knew that God had been speaking to us the same message. The

definition of success is not what happens, the result, it is looking into the heart of God,

the worthiness of the goal, and finding his will, and doing it.

• After this, I spent a few hours just pouring through the book of Acts and discerning

from the Word of God what the Spirit of God wanted us to do.

• It became clear as I was studying the passages that he wanted us to bring diverse

people together by the power of the gospel, exactly what happened to the church in

the beginning.

• So, Grace and I thanked God for guiding us, and decided to go forward with the

multi-ethnic multi-socioeconomic model.

I want to close with a challenge to each of you.

I think the only way you are going to live by God’s definition of success is if you

are free from the world’s definition of success unless you get your life from God, and not

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from your success. If you are not, how are you going to obey God’s command to go

down and serve, to give up something in your life, things in your life from which you get

your righteousness, your approval, your identity. It is only if you are getting your

validation, identity, approval, your righteousness from Jesus by faith through grace, you

can stop boasting, you can stop striving, you can stopping working to move up, but to just

obey God.

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