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You have two agarbattis on a boat but no source of fire. How will you light anagarbattis if you are in the middle of the river?"

Some answers are:

1) Throw an agarbatti into the river. It make the boat lighter. Use it to light agarbatti

2) Throw an agarbatti in air and catch it. Catches win matches. Use these matches tolight agarbatti

3) Take some river water, let it fall drop by drop. You know that "Tip-tip barsa pani,

pani ne aag lagai.". Use it to light the agarbatti.

Poultry farm ke maalik ne sabhi Murgiyon ko order diya.

"Agar tum logon ne kal se 2-2 ande nahi diye to kal se tumhara dana pani band."

Murgiya dar gayi ....sab ne 2-2 ande diye magar ek ne sirf ek anda hi diya"

Malik "Tum ne 1 anda hi diya hai?"..

.

..

.

Jawab mila.

.

..

..

.

..

"Sir ye anda aapke dar ki wajah se diya hai. Waise main to Murga hoon"

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There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of hismoney, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before

he died, he said to his wife,....

"When I die, I want you to take all my Money and put it in the

casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

.....And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart thatwhen he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

....

Well,

he died. He was stretched out in the casket,his wife was sitting

there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they

finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to closethe casket, the wife said,.......

"Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her;

she came over with the box and put it in the casket. ..

Then the undertakers locked the casket down,and they rolled it away....

So her friend said,

"Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there

with your husband."

The loyal wife replied,...

"Listen, I'm an honest loyal wife, I can't go back on my word. I

promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket withhim." .....

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"....

"I sure did," said the wife.

"I got it all together, put it into my account and wrotehim a check.

If he can cash it, he can spend it.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".

ELLEN: I is ...

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TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."

ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the

alphabet."

1980 girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungi

Maan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?

2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungi

Maan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!

CRICKET: Gol guttam lakad battam de danadan pratiyogita

CRICKETTESTMATCH: Pakaddandu, maarmandu, de danaa dan pratiyogita

TABLETENNIS: Lakdi ke phalak shetra pe le takaa tak de takaa tak

LAWNTENNIS: Harit Ghaas par le tada tad, de tada tad

LIGHTBULB: Vidyut Prakashak Kanch golak

TIE: Kanth Langoti

MATCHBOX: Ragdam patti Agni Utpaadan Peti

TRAFFICSIGNAL: Aavat Jaavat Suchak Jhandaa

TEA: Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti

TRAIN: Sahasra Chakra Louh Path Gaamini

ALLROUTEPASS: Yatr Tatr Sarvatr Gaman Aagya Patr

RAILWAYSIGNAL: Loh Path Gamini Suchak Yantra, Agni Rath Aava Gaman SoochakPattika, Louh path gaamini aawa gaman suchak yantra

RAILWAYSTATION: Bhabhka Adda, Agni-rathViraam sthal, Vidyut-rath Viraamsthal

BUTTON: Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak

MOSQUITO: Gunjan haari Manav Rakt Pipasu Jeev

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CIGARETTE: Shweta patra mandit dhumra shalakha

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes

silent.

-A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-

law better than I like mine."

-The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and theanswering machine says it is in the microwave.

-Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and

bought jewelry.

-How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done.

-A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his

mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me amillion dollars and beat me half to death."

-A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the

father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

-A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was

spending less than his wife did.

-Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

-The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

-Cosmetics: A woman's way of keeping a man from reading between the lines.

-Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.

-Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!

-First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

-Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.

-Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the

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woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year,

they both speak and the neighbors listen.

-Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After

marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish