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Jokes for Teachers

Table of Contents

1. General Funny Jokes …………………………………………………………………………… Page 3

2. Mathematics Jokes …………………………………………………………………………… Page 8

3. Social Studies Jokes …………………………………………………………………………… Page 10

4. Science Jokes …………………………………………………………………………… Page 12

5. Language Arts Jokes …………………………………………………………………………… Page 14

6. Holiday Jokes …………………………………………………………………………… Page 16

7. Simple K12 Jokes …………………………………………………………………………… Page 19

8. Sources …………………………………………………………………………… Page 20

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Jokes for Teachers

General Funny Jokes

1. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

————————————————- Because his class was so bright!

2. Why did the teacher write on the window?

————————————————- Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear!

3. Why did the teacher go to the beach?

————————————————- To test the water.

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Jokes for Teachers

General Funny Jokes

4. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

————————————————- She couldn't control her pupils!

5. What did the ghost teacher

say to the class? ————————————————-

Look at the board and I will go through it again.

Source:http://www.ducksters.com/jokesforkids/teachers.php

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Jokes for Teachers

General Funny Jokes

6. “Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a

girl.

"Well, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.

"No." replied the boy.

"I'm the principal's daughter." said the girl.

"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.

"No," she replied.

"Thank goodness!" said the boy with

a sigh of relief.

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Jokes for Teachers

General Funny Jokes

7. A newly-appointed principal was a bit apprehensive the morning of his first day at his new school. In addition to the usual first-time-on-the-job jitters he had recently injured this back and had to

wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body so he wasn't quite feeling himself. But it fit under

his shirt and was not noticeable at all. Adding to all this on the first day of the term, still

with the cast under his shirt, he found himself holding a session with a collection of many of the

toughest disciplinary students in school. Putting on his most-confident demeanor he walked into rowdy classroom, opened the window as wide as possible, and then busied himself with some paperwork at the

desk as he waited for the period to start. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk

stapler and stapled the tie straight into his chest as the students watched in amazement. Discipline was

not a problem from that day forth!

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Jokes for Teachers

General Funny Jokes

8. A mother walked into her son’s bedroom and said cheerfully, “Up. Up. It’s time to go to

school.”

The son replied, “I don’t want to go to school.”

“You have to go, “the mother said.

“I don’t want to. The kids are mean and

rotten.”

“You still have to go,” exclaimed the mother.

“It’s like a jungle. One fight after another. They threaten me as least 100 times a

day!” cried the son.

“You have to go to school!!”

“Why do I have to go?” pleaded the son.

“Because,” replied the mother,

“you are the principal.”

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Jokes for Teachers

Math Jokes

9.A rubber band pistol was

confiscated from algebra class,

because it was a weapon of math

disruption.

10. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from eating too much pi.

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Jokes for Teachers

Math Jokes

11. Pi to i: "Get real!" i to Pi : "Get rational!"

12. There are 10 kinds of

mathematicians. ————————————————-

Those who know binary and those who don’t.

13. Why was the Algebra book so sad?

————————————————- Because it had so many problems.

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Jokes for Teachers

Social Studies Jokes

14. What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?

————————————————- Their middle name*

15. Where did medieval knights

park their camels? ————————————————-

Camelot*

*Source: http://www.history-for-kids.com/history-jokes.html

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Jokes for Teachers

Social Studies Jokes

16. How was the Roman Empire cut in half?

————————————————-

With a pair of Caesars.

17. Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?

————————————————- Because there were so many knights.

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Jokes for Teachers

Science Jokes

18. A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?"

The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

19. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?'

The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

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Jokes for Teachers

Science Jokes

20. What did the receiver say to the radio wave?

————————————————- Ouch! That megahertz*

21. Physics quote of the day: Anything that doesn't matter has no

mass.

22. What do you call two dinosaurs that have been in an accident?

————————————————-

Tyrannosaurus wrecks*

* Source: http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/jokes.html

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Jokes for Teachers

Language Arts Jokes

23. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends,

with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

No pun in ten did.

24. When a teacher asked the six year old student why his handwriting

wasn’t as neat as usual. He responded,

“I’m trying a new font.”

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Jokes for Teachers

Language Arts Jokes

25. Teacher: Billy, your essay on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your

brother's. Did you copy it? Billy: No, Mrs. White. It's the same

dog!

27. Pencils could be made with erasers on both ends,

but that would be pointless.*

26. What’s better than a talking dinosaur?

————————————————- A spelling bee*

* Source: http://www.enchantedlearning.com/jokes/topics/school.shtml

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Jokes for Teachers

Holiday Jokes

28. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

————————————————- Frosted flakes (or snow flakes)

29. Where does the snowman

keep his money? ————————————————-

In the snow bank

30. What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?

————————————————- Frostbite

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Jokes for Teachers

Holiday Jokes

31. Why did the elf go to sleep in the fireplace?

————————————————- Because he wanted to sleep like a log

32. What do you call people who are

afraid of Santa Claus? ————————————————-

Claus-trophobic

33. When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?

————————————————- When you look in the dictionary

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Jokes for Teachers

Holiday Jokes

34. What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

————————————————- Crisp Cringle

35. Why does Santa enjoy gardening?

————————————————- Because he loves to Ho Ho Ho

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Jokes for Teachers

SimpleK12 Jokes

36. What do Simple K12 Bunnies

want for Christmas? ————————————————-

Answer: A good hare day!!

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Jokes for Teachers

Sources

http://www.enchantedlearning.com/jokes/topics/school.shtml

http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/jokes.html

http://www.ducksters.com/jokesforkids/teachers.php

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