it's not ogre yet
DESCRIPTION
My headline for a review of "Shrek Forever After"TRANSCRIPT
Columbus is finally ready to goGaga, but fans of the flamboyantpop star will have to wait 10months.
Value City Arena announced this week that Lady Gaga wouldbring her high-tech, avant-garde“Monster Ball” tour to town — onMarch 10.
That’s 293 days from now.Tickets for the concert, however,
will be sold to the general publicbeginning at 10 a.m. today, requir-ing devotees to hold onto them (aswell as their musical allegiance)for a longer-than-usual time.
Yes, the chart-topping globalsensation has toured almost con-stantly since 2008.
Yet other artists have alsotempted fans with ticket sales wellbefore reaching the stage.
“They want to strike while theiron’s hot, while people still want tohear what they’re singing,” saidJamie Kaufman, president of theticket broker Dream Seats, north ofGrandview Heights.
“But they might not want towhen they actually come around.”
The average lead time for showsonce spanned only 30 to 60 days,said Kaufman, who has worked inticket resales since 1999.
Nowadays, the average large-scale concert tour makes plansabout three to four months beforea show, said Nationwide Arenaspokeswoman Karen Davis, noting
CONCERTS
More shows embrace ‘Buy now, hear later’By Kevin JoyTHE COLUMBUS DISPATCH
See SHOWS Page D2
FILE PHOTO
LadyGaga
05-21-2010 PAGE D1
DLIFE&ARTS�
FRIDAYMAY 21, 2010
So many questions to answer
Coming Saturday
‘LOST’: THE SERIES FINALEDispatch.com/multimedia
Online
NEW HOLLAND MARKETActress transformed out of role �D6
Fox trots away
As pop culture goes, here’s what drew the most eyes and ears duringthe past 10 days:
TELEVISION1. American Idol (Wednesday), Fox2. American Idol (Tuesday), Fox3. Dancing With the Stars (Monday),ABC4. NCIS, CBS5. NCIS: Los Angeles, CBS
ALBUMS
THE TOP FIVE
1. My World 2.0, Justin Bieber2. Need You Now, Lady Antebellum3. High Violet, the National4. Iron Man 2, AC/DC5. Sea of Cowards, the Dead Weather
SINGLES1. OMG, Usher featuring will.i.am2. California Gurls, Katy Perry featuringSnoop Dogg3. Airplanes, B.o.B featuring HayleyWilliams4. Nothin’ on You, B.o.B featuringBruno Mars5. Break Your Heart, Taio Cruz featuringLudacris
R&B/HIP-HOP SONGS1. Un-Thinkable (I’m Ready), Alicia Keys2. Over, Drake3. My Chick Bad, Ludacris featuringNicki Minaj4. Everything to Me, Monica5. Nothin’ on You, B.o.B featuringBruno Mars
DVD SALES1. Legion2. Edge of Darkness3. Daybreakers4. Avatar5. Tooth Fairy
Sources: Nielsen Media Research, Billboard, Rentrak
CRITICS’ CHOICESEach week, we consult Metacritic.comto compile aggregate opinions, con-verted to numbers, based on reviewsfrom printed and online sources. Eachmovie is listed with its “Metascore,” anaverage rating from zero (terrible) to100 (outstanding).
— Nick [email protected]
Third-sequel samplerMOVIE....................................SCOREIndiana Jones and theKingdom of the Crystal Skull(2008)
65
Shrek Forever After (2010) 57
Rambo (2008) 46
Fast & Furious (2009) 45
Batman & Robin (1997) 28
Weekend box-office leadersMOVIE....................................SCOREIron Man 2 ($52 million) 57
Robin Hood ($36.1) 53
Letters to Juliet ($13.5) 50
Just Wright ($8.3) 52
How To Train Your Dragon ($5) 74
Wainwright to play NelsonvilleLoudon Wainwright III, who won a
Grammy this year for best traditionalfolk album (High Wide & Handsome:The Charlie Poole Project), will returntonight to Stuart’s Opera House inNelsonville.
The concert will begin at 8 in thevenue, 46 Public Square.
Reserved seats cost $20 in advance,$23 at the door. Call 740-753-1924 orvisit www.stuartsoperahouse.org.
Initial WaterFire postponedA rainy forecast has prompted a
delay in the first WaterFire Columbus ofthe season — originally scheduled fortonight in Genoa Park.
Instead, the kickoff is to take placeJune 25 — with other WaterFire eventsplanned for July 10 and 30, Aug. 6 and27, and Sept. 3 and 18.
SHOW & TELL
See SHOW & TELL Page D6
he ogre with the inexplicable Scot-tish accent returns in Shrek Forever
After, which gives the flagging franchisea welcome shot of adrenaline.
“Flagging” in terms of quality, ofcourse.
The series has experienced diminishingreturns in regard to humor and storytellingsince Shrek helped solidify computer-animated dominance in 2001. Box-officereceipts, though, have stayed steadilystratospheric. (The first three entries earnedmore than $1 billion —reaching the milestoneone film faster than theHarry Potter series.)
People, it seems, willline up to see thecranky ogre and histoo-many sidekicks,even though Shrek 2was more of the same and Shrek the Thirdwas lazy and lumbering.
The fact that Forever After, the fourthinstallment, recaptures some of themagic of the original is a bonus — likean extra squirt of butter-flavored top-ping (or, as Shrek would prefer, anextra eyeball in his evening martini).
Not that we’re talking Pixar-levelquality. Forever After is still compara-tively light, relying too much on gagsand contemporary references to be astimeless as Toy Story or WALL-E, not tomention Finding Nemo or Up.
Then again, Pixar won that battle years
MOVIE REVIEW SHREK FOREVER AFTER
Shrek Forever After. Directed byMike Mitchell. Written by JoshKlausner and Darren Lemke. Photo-graphed by Yong Duk Jhun.Voices:Mike Myers............................ShrekEddie Murphy......................DonkeyCameron Diaz ........................FionaAntonio Banderas ......Puss in BootsWalt Dohrn..............Rumpelstiltskin��1⁄2 (out of four)Fourth verse, more like the first.MPAA rating: PG (for mild action,rude humor, brief language)Running time: 1:33Now showing at the Arena Grand,Crosswoods, Dublin Village 18,Easton 30, Gateway, GeorgesvilleSquare 16, Lennox 24, Movies 16Gahanna, Movies 10 at Westpointe,Movie Tavern Mill Run, Pickerington,Polaris 18, River Valley, Star andWesterville 8 theaters; and theSkyview and South drive-ins
DREAMWORKS PHOTOSFiona and Shrek: falling in love all over again
It’s not ogre yet
Shrek andhis loyalsidekicks
Sequel returns with old charms, piles on sort-of-silly gags
See SHREK Page D2
ON THE WEB� To hear NickChordas discuss ShrekForever After and seeclips, visit Dispatch.com/movies.
REVIEWS INSIDE� The Art of the Steal,Lourdes �D3
REVIEWS ONLINE� The Cartel, Kites, Skin �Dispatch.com/movies
By Nick Chordas | THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH
T
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05-21-2010 PAGE D2
SUDOKU
Surely the consolation of old age is finding out how few things are worth worrying over. — Dorothy Dix
CROSSWORD NO. 2
CHALLENGER JUMBLE
CRYPTOQUOTE
CROSSWORD NO. 1
milky bravo
jester upward
What the director said when his wife knitted him a sweater — It’s a “wrap”
Today’s puzzle solutions� Puzzles on Page D4
D2 � Life & ArtsTHE COLUMBUS DISPATCH FRIDAY, MAY 21, 2010 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM
� Daily Sudoku on Page D3
MANAGING EDITOR/FEATURESMary Lynn Plageman ...............614-461-5536
SECTION EDITORS� THE ARTS:Nancy Gilson ..........614-461-8868
� GENERAL-INTEREST FEATURES:T.R. Fitchko ............614-461-8890
LISTINGS
� COMMUNITY [email protected]
Mail: Life, The Dispatch34 S. 3rd St., Columbus, OH 43215
Fax .........................614-559-1754Questions? .............614-461-5221
� CELEBRATIONSSend weddings, 50th anniver-saries and other celebrations:
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HOW TO REACH US
Your birthday today:You’ll be inspired during thenext 10 weeks to accomplishsomething you didn’t thinkyou could. Small steps getyou there. A love relation-ship comes clearly intofocus in July. Business ven-tures heat up in October.Invest boldly. � Gemini (May 21-
June 21): Stay alert to thequiet, little things. Thosethings matter — especiallythe whispery voices insidethat alert you to the path ofleast resistance.� Cancer (June 22-
July 22): What your mothersaid or didn’t say will makea difference. Maybe this wasa long time ago, but it stillmatters to you.� Leo (July 23-Aug. 22):
Be like the cat who doesn’tfret over what she thinks ofherself. She simply is what
she is and does what shedoes.� Virgo (Aug. 23-
Sept. 22): When you try tohold on to your currentstate, it slips away. Yousimply can’t keep things thesame. The only thing left todo is accept reality.� Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23):
What is it about a baby,kitten or puppy that bringspeople together? Such inno-cence and goodness allowus to let down our defensesand open our hearts.� Scorpio (Oct. 24-
Nov. 21): It often seemseasier to chip away at threeor four behemoths, whenwhat you need to do is linethem up and mow themdown one at a time.� Sagittarius (Nov. 22-
Dec. 21): Heavy cloudsmoved in on a certain rela-tionship, but the stormwon’t hit in your neck of thewoods. Let it blow by, andsoon the sunlight will pushthrough.� Capricorn (Dec. 22-
Jan. 19): You might worry
about saying the right thing,but you will convey peaceand joy in your demeanor.These qualities will affectothers more than anythingyou could say.� Aquarius (Jan. 20-
Feb. 18): Pitch your waresagain and again. If you arefearless, you’ll help othersdrop the need for ego-driven rants and posturing,and get them to tell you theway things honestly are.� Pisces (Feb. 19-
March 20): Your way isperfectly acceptable,although it might not be theway a certain group ofpeople work. Refuse to bebullied by the majority.� Aries (March 21-
April 19): Pace is everything.Exert yourself for a while,and then recharge for awhile. Make this yourmantra in projects and inlife.� Taurus (April 20-
May 20): Now is anuncertain time. Let it go,and trust that you will landexactly where you should.
HOROSCOPEBy Holiday MathisCREATORS SYNDICATE
Both vulnerable. North deals.
NORTH� J 7 3� A 8� Q 8 4� K Q J 5 2WEST EAST
� K Q 10 2 � A 8 6 5 4� J 6 � Q 5 3� J 7 3 2 � A 9 5� 10 8 7 � 6 4
SOUTH� 9� K 10 9 7 4 2� K 10 6� A 9 3
The bidding:NORTH EAST SOUTH WEST1� 1� 2� 3�Pass Pass 4� PassPass PassOpening lead: king of �
Earlier this week, we discussed when itwas right to leave a master trump out-
standing and go about your business ofestablishing winners. Is this the same handin another guise? If not, why?
The auction suggests that North has aminimum opening bid and probably nomore than two hearts. South had a closedecision whether to rebid his hearts orraise clubs but decided that his heart inter-mediates made four hearts a fair shot.
West led the king of spades and contin-ued with the queen, declaring ruffing. Tworounds of trumps followed, leaving one ofthe defenders with the master trump.Should South concede the trump or starttaking his tricks?
Simply counting your winners shouldgive you the answer. You have 10 certaintricks — five trumps and five clubs. All youhave to do is make sure you can get tothem.
Suppose you leave the master trumpoutstanding and start on clubs. East ruffsthe third club, and, as long as the defenseis careful, you have no way to get to dum-my’s two remaining club winners. Withcareful defense, you will lose two diamondsto go with the spade and trump losers —down one.
So give the defenders their trump trickimmediately, and they can’t stop you fromgetting at least 10 tricks.
BRIDGEBy Tannah HirschTRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES
Today is Friday, May 21, the 141stday of 2010. There are 224 daysleft in the year.
HIGHLIGHT IN HISTORY� On May 21, 1927, Charles A.Lindbergh landed his Spirit of St. Louis near Paris, completingthe first solo airplane flight acrossthe Atlantic Ocean in 331⁄2 hours.� In 1832, the first DemocraticNational Convention got underway, in Baltimore.� In 1910, a year-old Jewishsettlement near the port city ofJaffa adopted the name Tel Aviv(Hebrew for “Hill of Spring”).� In 1932, Amelia Earhartbecame the first woman to flysolo across the Atlantic Ocean asshe landed in Northern Ireland,about 15 hours after leavingNewfoundland.� In 1956, the United Statesexploded the first airborne hydro-gen bomb over Bikini Atoll in thePacific.� In 1979, former San FranciscoCity Supervisor Dan White wasconvicted of voluntary man-slaughter in the slayings of MayorGeorge Moscone and openly gaySupervisor Harvey Milk; outrageover the verdict sparked rioting.(White was sentenced to sevenyears and eight months in prison;he ended up serving five yearsand committed suicide in 1985.)� Ten years ago: Nineteen peoplewere killed when a charter planecrashed in the Pocono Mountainsin Pennsylvania. � Five years ago: The Belgianfilm The Child won the Palme d’Orat the Cannes Film Festival. � One year ago: President BarackObama made his case for closingthe Guantanamo prison camp,denouncing “fear-mongering” bypolitical opponents.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY“Ideals are like stars; you will notsucceed in touching them withyour hands. But like the seafaringman on the desert of waters, youchoose them as your guides, andfollowing them, you will reachyour destiny.” — Carl Schurz,American politician (1829-1906)Source: Associated Press
DAILY ALMANAC
Dear Carolyn: I’m new tothe world of online datingand have found that manyof the available men in myage group (late 30s to 40s)are divorced. I’ve neverbeenmarried.
I’mtrying todecidewhether“Why didyou getdivorced?”is a usefulquestionto ask.Mostbreakups don’t have a sim-ple reason. I suppose thatmaybe the answer couldtell me more about the guyhimself and whether he’sreally ready to move on.
What do you think? Do Iask, or do I figure that thetopic will eventually workits way into conversation?
— DatingDear Dating: It can be a
stunningly useful questionbut only if asked under theright circumstances.
Your letter gave onereason for the limited use-fulness: Life milestonessuch as marriages anddivorces tend to find theirway into conversations.There will always be peoplewho talk too much or notat all about a previousmarriage, but even that willtip you off to something.
Another limitation of the“Why did you getdivorced?” question is thatasking it prematurely isliable to net you a worth-less answer.
Someone who caresabout your opinion willwant to give you an answerwith substance. Granted,this is dating, so it mighthave self-aggrandizingsubstance or outright-manufactured substance.
On the other hand,someone who isn’t yetinvested in you is going tobe parsimonious with thetruth.
The point at which itbecomes a useful question— finally! — is when you’vedated long enough not tofeel as if you’re in suspenseabout each other but whenyou don’t have knowledgeof his marriage so much asa pieced-together impres-sion. That’s the time to fireaway and see whether he:loses his cool, dodges thequestion, bad-mouths theex, implodes with self-loathing — or describes abreakup in which he cred-ibly allows that both partiesmade mistakes.
Dear Carolyn: Is itunreasonable to get upsetthat my boyfriend of threeyears always mumbles, “Ilove you, too” in the mostdiminutive, uncomfortable,8-year-old-forced-apologyvoice at the end of ourcell-phone conversations? Ialmost can’t stand it.
— AnonymousDear Anonymous: Sounds
as if he can’t, either, if that’sany consolation.
And if you haven’t con-sidered that (a) he’s not oneto close every call with “Ilove you” but (b) he never-theless is trying to meetyou halfway and (c) yourmost loving gesture mightbe to stop putting him onthe spot and adopt a less-frequent “I love you”policy, then you are beingunreasonable. Dial back(heh-heh, get it?) the goopand see how that suits youboth.
Write to Carolyn Hax —whose column appearsSundays, Wednesdays andFridays — at [email protected].
TELL ME ABOUT IT
Divorce explanationwill come up in time
CAROLYNHAX
ago. Viewers should knowby now that DreamWorksAnimation, responsible forShrek as well as the animalsof Madagascar and Kung FuPanda, is the chicken wingto Pixar’s cordon bleu.
A case in point: The thirdsequel opens with Shrek(voiced by Mike Myers)undergoing a midlife crisisto the ironically gleefulstrains of Top of the Worldby the Carpenters.
Saddled with a wife,three children and no timeto indulge his inner mon-ster, Shrek finds himselfreliving more or less thesame day again and again— like a slightly hungrierversion of Bill Murray inGroundhog Day.
The desperate dad, afterone too many martinis,strikes a deal with thesniveling Rumpelstiltskin(Walt Dohrn) for one bliss-ful day minus the familyunit. (At least he doesn’trequest the ogre equivalentof Ashley Dupre.)
Naturally, the deal goeswrong, giving pint-sizeviewers an important les-son in reading the fineprint and propelling Shrekinto a version of the king-dom of Far Far Away inwhich he was never bornand Rumpelstiltskin is theNapoleon-like ruler.
Credit goes to writersJosh Klausner and DarrenLemke for imagining ascenario that (a) raises thestakes by threatening towipe out everything thathas come before and (b)
removes almost all of thetertiary characters from themain plot.
Forever After is lesscrowded than one imaginesa fourth chapter to be. Bestfriend Donkey (EddieMurphy) and PrincessFiona (Cameron Diaz) playimportant roles — thelatter recast as the Xena-like leader of an ogre resist-ance army — while thestill-funny Puss in Boots(Antonio Banderas) tagsalong as comic relief.
In a way, the movie pre-sents an alternate-universeversion of the first adven-ture, so the hero experi-ences more than a few It’s aWonderful Life moments —a strategy that acknowl-edges past scenes in theseries without repeatingthem.
“How’s that for a meta-physical paradox?” screamsthe diminutive Rumpelstilt-skin, who holds castle ravesattended by witchesplucked from The Wizard ofOz.
Not surprisingly, Shrekdiscovers how much hereally does love his familyand, this being a fairy tale,gets a second chance towin it back.
Forever After isn’t likely towin the series any newfans, but it’s clever enoughto make the prospect of afifth entry in the lucrativefranchise a bit more palata-ble.
And if you think this isthe big green guy’s lasthurrah, as advertisementshave suggested, I have abridge in Far Far Away I’dlike to sell you.
SHREKFROM PAGE D1
the Jonas Brothers and theBilly Joel/Elton John pairingat her venue as recentexceptions.
Other shows involvinglengthy lead times includethe British progressive-rocktrio Muse, initially bookedfor Nov. 5 in Value CityArena — an announcementmade April 19, almost sevenmonths ahead. (The showhas been moved to Oct. 12,the band announced yester-day.)
Tween heartthrob du jourJustin Bieber will playAug. 14, and Pink Floydfrontman Roger Waters onOct. 22 — both datesannounced nearly sixmonths before theirconcerts.
Such gaps often boildown to scheduling, saidRay Waddell, a senior editorcovering the concert indus-try for Billboard magazine.
For in-demand per-formers such as Lady Gaga,a venue might have to bookwell ahead or risk missingout entirely.
And some facilities arebeing proactive, Waddellsaid.
With entertainmentdollars stretched ever thin-ner by rising ticket prices(which increased from aNorth American average of$36.84 in 1999 to $62.57 lastyear for the top 100 acts,according to the concert-industry publication Poll-star), an arena might wantto confirm and promote ashow to secure the commit-ment of patrons long before
they spend money else-where (or, worse, at anotherconcert hall).
Some musicians — par-ticularly those in the teen-pop vein — might be look-ing for maximum returnsbefore the hype subsides.
“If they’re still successful(at showtime), you buildheat,” Waddell said. “If it’snot so hot, you’ve capital-ized on ticket sales when. . . (the acts) were at theirpeak.”
Though less common atmidsize venues, earlyannouncements do hap-pen, said Amy Cooper ofPromoWest Productions,which owns and operatesfive central Ohio musicfacilities, including theLifestyle CommunitiesPavilion and NewportMusic Hall.
Upcoming Newportshows featuring Powerman5000 (Nov. 16) and Overkill(Nov. 17) — not obscureacts but hardly householdnames — were announcedthis week.
“In a way, it makes thingseasier,” Cooper said. “Wecan go ahead and get ready.And we spend less onadvertising because there’s
more time to sell it.”First-week ticket sales are
often propelled by an artist,whether via TV appear-ances, the release of a newalbum or radio single, or apublicity campaign, saidValue City Arena generalmanager Mike Gatto, whoacknowledged that salesslow considerably in themonths after.
Yet, even though earlyaccess might offer con-venience to venues,Waddell noted, it couldindicate “potential soft-ness” in the market.
North American concertrevenue and paid attend-ance dropped about 2 per-cent from 2008 to last year,according to Billboard.
Advance scheduling alsocosts more, requiring avenue or outside promoterto invest significant moneywell before an investment isrecouped.
Live Nation, which ishandling the Lady Gagatour, wouldn’t detail herper-date booking costs, butKaufman estimated them atas high as $2 million —based on the Columbusticket prices ($52.50 to$178) and number of seats(about 14,000).
“I would want thatmoney to start rolling backin as early as possible,” hesaid.
For fans, though, thebiggest concern might bethe risk of forgetting.
“It’s hard to know sched-ules that far in advance,”said Heather McFeely, 24, ofHilliard, who bought ticketsthis week through a pre-salespecial. “It’s so early.”
SHOWSFROM PAGE D1
Powerman5000:Nov. 16,NewportMusic Hall
RogerWaters:Oct. 22,Value CityArena
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