Today I attended a Coaching Academy Today I attended a Coaching Academy Introduction to Introduction to Personal CoachingPersonal Coaching weekend. I booked on to refresh and weekend. I booked on to refresh and practice my skills with people outside my network, practice my skills with people outside my network, observe how a coaching workshop is delivered learning observe how a coaching workshop is delivered learning from the trainers and spend time considering how to from the trainers and spend time considering how to achieve my goals around coaching.achieve my goals around coaching.

The background and knowledge of coaching from those The background and knowledge of coaching from those attending varied considerably. There were also a large attending varied considerably. There were also a large variety of words used by individuals to describe their variety of words used by individuals to describe their feelings at the start of the day. Words like energised, feelings at the start of the day. Words like energised, optimistic, eager, confused, apprehension and excited. optimistic, eager, confused, apprehension and excited.

This exercise in checking how you feel is important in This exercise in checking how you feel is important in every thing we do because your feelings influence your every thing we do because your feelings influence your behaviours. behaviours.   Hindering feelings can lead to behaviours Hindering feelings can lead to behaviours that are not useful and can prevent you from achieving that are not useful and can prevent you from achieving your goals.your goals.

Although when in the midst of a flood of emotion it doesn’tAlthough when in the midst of a flood of emotion it doesn’t seem so but, being the master of your emotions is seem so but, being the master of your emotions is possible. Sometimes we all like to wallow in our feelings possible. Sometimes we all like to wallow in our feelings and for a short while that may be OK. However, when and for a short while that may be OK. However, when negative emotions strike in our daily lives, we need to negative emotions strike in our daily lives, we need to recognise and then change them or our performance will recognise and then change them or our performance will suffer. This may be done by changing the things you say suffer. This may be done by changing the things you say to yourself, picturing a more useful memory or by thinkingto yourself, picturing a more useful memory or by thinking about a better outcome.about a better outcome.

Coaching is all about beginning with the end in mind, Coaching is all about beginning with the end in mind, according to Stephen Covey. according to Stephen Covey.   It doesn't matter where you It doesn't matter where you are coming from; all that matters is where you are going are coming from; all that matters is where you are going (Brian Tracey). On this point, we were asked to consider (Brian Tracey). On this point, we were asked to consider what we wanted to leave the two days saying to what we wanted to leave the two days saying to ourselves. A different way to clumsily asking; “ourselves. A different way to clumsily asking; “What are What are your objectives?your objectives?””

The iceberg above the The iceberg above the surface represents our surface represents our behaviours and opinions. behaviours and opinions. These are things that are These are things that are visible to others. Beneath visible to others. Beneath the water line are our the water line are our capability, beliefs and capability, beliefs and identity. identity.   

It is important to avoid make It is important to avoid make assumptions about what lies assumptions about what lies beneath the water line basedbeneath the water line based on someone’s behaviours on someone’s behaviours and opinions. and opinions.

Remember when we ASSUME, we can make an ASS out of Remember when we ASSUME, we can make an ASS out of U and ME!U and ME!

Coaching is all about asking high quality questions that Coaching is all about asking high quality questions that unlock someone's thinking so they can access richer unlock someone's thinking so they can access richer resources. resources.   Often, the questions can make someone bumpOften, the questions can make someone bump up to the edge of their perception of the world and reality. up to the edge of their perception of the world and reality. Or using the iceberg analogy is it can take them to the Or using the iceberg analogy is it can take them to the point where they are dipping their toes into the icy water.point where they are dipping their toes into the icy water. At this point they could look uncomfortable, confused and At this point they could look uncomfortable, confused and struggle to answer the questions. struggle to answer the questions.   It is when they then go It is when they then go for it, dive in and access the areas beneath the surface for it, dive in and access the areas beneath the surface they become able to make changes to reveal new they become able to make changes to reveal new resources.resources.

Alexander and Whitmore developed a neat approach to Alexander and Whitmore developed a neat approach to coaching around which quality questions can be hung. coaching around which quality questions can be hung. This model is the GROW model. You may know it.This model is the GROW model. You may know it.

GOALSGOALS; what are you aiming for? ; what are you aiming for?

What do you want? What do you want? How will you know when you achieve it? How will you know when you achieve it? When do you want to achieve it by? When do you want to achieve it by? What will you gain or lose by attaining this goal? What will you gain or lose by attaining this goal?

REALITYREALITY; exploring the present reality; exploring the present realityWhat have outdone specifically so far to achieve the your What have outdone specifically so far to achieve the your goal? goal? What challenges have you met & overcome?What challenges have you met & overcome?What other challenges do you expect to meet?What other challenges do you expect to meet?

OPTIONSOPTIONS; Stretching beyond what the client has tried or ; Stretching beyond what the client has tried or thought about beforethought about beforeWhat could you do?What could you do?What else....?What else....?What if....?What if....?

WILL & WAY FORWARDWILL & WAY FORWARD; Gaining commitment from the ; Gaining commitment from the client towards taking actionclient towards taking actionWhich option will be fastest/easiest/preferred?Which option will be fastest/easiest/preferred?

What might stop you?What might stop you?

What are the consequences and impact of your approach?What are the consequences and impact of your approach?When will you take action?When will you take action?

Many people in the group struggled with the goals and Many people in the group struggled with the goals and actions bit. Goals are things we all know about and actions bit. Goals are things we all know about and understand the importance of. Defining the little devils, understand the importance of. Defining the little devils, now that was where things often get a little sticky. Roll now that was where things often get a little sticky. Roll forward the Wheel of Life.forward the Wheel of Life.

The steps are as follows:The steps are as follows:1.1. Firstly define the sectors on your wheel and label the Firstly define the sectors on your wheel and label the

Red Priorities bulls eye. Some ideas include: career Red Priorities bulls eye. Some ideas include: career development, personal growth, spiritual, friends and development, personal growth, spiritual, friends and social life, contribution to society, financial social life, contribution to society, financial prosperity, family relationships, work-life balance, prosperity, family relationships, work-life balance, relationships with partner, home, health and well relationships with partner, home, health and well being, fun and recreation, travel and adventure and being, fun and recreation, travel and adventure and relationships with kids / teens. These are some relationships with kids / teens. These are some ideas. You may have others. Whatever labels you ideas. You may have others. Whatever labels you choose are the right ones.choose are the right ones.

2.2. Rate how happy you are with each sector in the Red Rate how happy you are with each sector in the Red sector on a 1 – 10 scale.sector on a 1 – 10 scale.

3.3. Select the sector you want to focus. Your level of Select the sector you want to focus. Your level of happiness from 2 may guide you. Now write down happiness from 2 may guide you. Now write down what you want to achieve in the yellow goal sector.what you want to achieve in the yellow goal sector.

4.4. Define your strengths in relation to that sector. ThinkDefine your strengths in relation to that sector. Think of all the positive things you have done in relation to of all the positive things you have done in relation to that area. Ask yourself “that area. Ask yourself “what is working well in this what is working well in this area?area?” What are the skills you have that are useful ” What are the skills you have that are useful to that area? What helpful habits do you have?to that area? What helpful habits do you have?

5.5. Now what could you possibly do to reach this goal? Now what could you possibly do to reach this goal? What else? Who could you possibly involve? How What else? Who could you possibly involve? How could you possibly get their buy in? How could you could you possibly get their buy in? How could you possibly communicate with them? What possible possibly communicate with them? What possible assumptions are you making? What possible assumptions are you making? What possible obstacles are there? What are the possible ways obstacles are there? What are the possible ways round?round?

6.6. Prioritise the possibilities, checking you believe the Prioritise the possibilities, checking you believe the prioritised steps are do-able and schedule them into prioritised steps are do-able and schedule them into your diary and include how you know you will have your diary and include how you know you will have done them. Write them in the blue Actions section.done them. Write them in the blue Actions section.

7.7. State the benefits to doing these actions.State the benefits to doing these actions.

There are loads of reasons why people do not set goals. There are loads of reasons why people do not set goals. FEAR is the main one. Remember though that FEAR is:FEAR is the main one. Remember though that FEAR is:

FalseFalseEvidence Evidence Appearing Appearing RealReal

Other common reasons that are worth noting why people Other common reasons that are worth noting why people do not set their goals include:do not set their goals include:

A coach has a key role in supporting a client through theseA coach has a key role in supporting a client through these fears and hindering beliefs. Approaches to this will be in fears and hindering beliefs. Approaches to this will be in tomorrows blog post…..tomorrows blog post…..