That’s Life

Overview & How to Participate

A lot happens in life and it’s important to develop and/or continue to hone everyday life skills not only for

ourselves and overall well-being, and ability to handle difficult situations, but for our children an dhow we

interact with each other, including family, friends, and colleagues. This program provides some very valuable

life lessons and action items designed to help you navigate all that life presents you with.

To participate:

• Read the entire workbook before getting started to ensure you understand the requirements of this program.

• Start with Lesson 1 and complete the action item.

• Submit to your Health & Wellness Navigator, who will approve (or ask that you go back and expand further

on your replies) and give you the ok to move on to the next lesson. You cannot move to the next lesson

until your H&W Navigator approves the prior one.

• This program is meant to be introspective and requires work on your part. Please take it seriously and we

guarantee, it won’t be about the points, but about your perspective and how to handle things in a positive

way.

Lesson 1: Don’t Be a Jerk

So we’re getting right to it out of the gate here! Kids are allowed to react, throw peas at the wall, and have temper tantrums. This

is part of their growth process as they learn that those behaviors won’t serve them.

As an adult, you have the capacity to pause and choose differently. And you should also have the skillset and manners to

implement important interpersonal and communication skills, even if you don’t always use them.

Being a jerk is often a reaction, and with social media and many things being virtual, it can be very easy to be a jerk, forgetting

there is a human on the other side, but it is also a choice you can control. If you want to be an adult, there’s no excuse for it.

Respond to people versus reacting to them. Think about how your behavior and words and actions will affect others as well as

yourself. This is one of life’s simplest lessons!

Action Item

Identify a situation the in past 6 months where you reacted to a person or a problem instead of responding to them with calm

reasoning. Hopefully you didn’t throw peas, but perhaps you threw an adult tantrum. Explain in a paragraph what you did and

how you would do it differently if you had it to do all over again. This should not be a 3 sentence answer.

Lesson 2: Take Responsibility for YOUYou can complain about your life, and some of it is totally fair. Many of us were dealt some really lousy cards, and things have

happened to us that we had no control over. OK. But if you want to pull yourself out of the quicksand and make some kind of dent

in the world, you have to accept where you are…completely.

That’s the beginning of building or rebuilding anything. And the way to do that is by taking full responsibility for where you are. Own

it fully in order to get the power back. The truth is, many of us were victims. But a victim mindset does nothing but turn us into

prisoners. If you want to turn the page, you must look at everything on it and digest it, instead of trying to rip it out. What does

taking full responsibility of your life look like?

Action Item

What is one item in your life you need to take responsibility for that you’re not really doing effectively? Tell us specifically why it

is your responsibility and how you will manage the situation.

Lesson 3: Love HardYou’ve been hurt. We all have. But loving from a place of hurt isn’t loving. It’s hiding. And you will never hit the high notes of love

you’re searching for if you’re hiding. It’s tough, but love as hard as you can. Don’t give yourself any other choice. Be fearless. Be

vulnerable. Show yourself. Put yourself out there, completely. Eyes closed. Arms folded. Knowing he or she may not catch you.

And what if you get hurt? You probably will. But what’s the alternative? Love with fear? What would that look like? You know.

You’ve been there before.

So you have to make a choice—a difficult one that will bring you a ton of resistance. You have to let go of control, predictions, and

expectations, and just practice love in its purest form, without fear. You have to stop wrestling logic and ego, and stand on the

ledge with a smile, knowing that loving someone else as hard as you can will always be more about you than anyone else.

Action Item

The action is going to require you to make a list. We want you to think about when you love someone. What are 5 things you

prefer in that relationship and 5 things you won’t accept.

Lesson 4: Love ResponsiblyThe other half is responsibility. Let us break it down to its simplest form: it means to communicate. Don’t leave

people in the dark. We all know that when we sign up to love someone, we are also signing up for possible hurt.

That’s the name of the game, and there’s no way around it.

But there’s a difference between a broken heart and unnecessary hurt from being irresponsible—or from being

a coward. It takes courage to be vulnerable and honest. It takes courage to show yourself and have tough

conversations. It takes courage to draw boundaries. It takes courage to not make it about you. It takes courage

to love responsibly.

Action Item

The lesson here will require you to look at the list you made for Lesson 3. Name a time when you had to have an honest

conversation with someone that committed one of the 5 things you won’t accept. Be specific. Have you also kept the same

commitment you ask from others? Be honest, and remember hypocrites hate mirrors.

Lesson 5: Stop Lying.Yes, to others, but more importantly to yourself. Nothing can be built without truth. Children can believe their own lies; they live in

fantasy. But if you keep lying to yourself and living in fear, you will always be stuck. This will keep you from everything you want,

because you will not be everything you are. You will be invisible.

Action Item

What is the truth you need to swallow in your life right now, and why is it so hard? Most likely, the answer is fear. But what does

it mean if you finally swallow the truth? How will it change your life? How will it change other people’s lives?

Lesson 6: Check Your EgoThere is a healthy dose of ego that we all need. I’m referring here to a state where one is ego-driven, manipulating everything to

circle around them, and finding a way to always make it about them, so they can gain and stand in the spotlight. What these

people don’t know is that their ego is blocking their potential.

Along with fear, ego is the other wall that will prevent you from becoming all you can be. Our power will always be in giving, not

taking. We all have ego, and it can swell fast. Adulting means being aware of it and choosing to pull from a different place.

Children pull from their egos; adults pull from their mind.

Action Item

Name a time where you may have let the your ego run wild and realized that you needed a different approach? This should be

at least a paragraph or two. Was it a good outcome?

Lesson 7: Take Care of Your Own Stuff.Children make their problems other people’s problems. They don’t have the self-awareness or the capacity to hold space for

others. They vomit. And we allow it, because they’re children. But adults do have the capacity, even though many chose not to

exercise it.

If you want to adult, you must be aware of your own perceptions, problems, issues, and triggers, and how they affect other people,

especially in your relationships. If you don’t take care of your own stuff, boundaries are blurred, and you will set yourself up for an

adult/child dynamic instead of adult/adult. And then don’t be surprised when you wake up one day and your partner tells you their

feelings have changed.

Action Item

This lesson will challenge you to examine 3 relationships you have with adults other than your parents/guardians. One should

be a close friend. The other two can vary. Are all 3 of these relationships based on an adult/adult dynamic. Are you sometimes

pushing your items onto someone else? This is more than just listening or venting but having them heavily involved in handling

the problem. Are you the adult in a relationship and someone else is the child? This will be challenging so take your time.

Lesson 8: Be GratefulChildren just want more and more and more. Adults want different things. Well, some adults just want more and more and more—

but then, they are not adults. Because if that’s all you want, there is no room to practice gratitude, and adults practice gratitude.

Be grateful for everything you have, including all the chapters of your life you want to rip out, all your expired relationships, all of

the challenges, struggles, and turbulence you face—all of that you will get through, like you got through it before. Be grateful for all

the lessons you’ve learned and how they have transformed you into a better version of yourself. Be grateful for all of your

relationships, even if they can be challenging sometimes. Be grateful that you have choices. Be grateful that you can choose to be

an adult.

Action Item

In this lesson, we want you to write about 3 people you are grateful you met. They can be past or present. At least one person

should be a relationship where it wasn’t always easy. This should be a reflective time of how you have grown through

relationship experiences. Some memories are difficult but there are life lessons even in the stormiest of clouds.

Lesson 9: Reasoning vs FeelingsChildren mainly use their emotions when they have interaction with other people. Unfortunately some adults do the same. There

are clearly times that our emotions play a pivotal role in decisions but logic and reasoning must still exist. When we get into difficult

or highly emotional conflicts that requires a decision on our part it is key to look for space to find logic and reasoning.

Action Item

When you look back on your best and worst decisions think about which ones may have been the best ones, even if they were

negative. Were they reasoned out and based in data or were they made on an emotional whim?

Lesson 10: Ownership Is there anything better than when you receive praise from co-workers for something you have done? That type of positivity can

have you on cloud nine the rest of the day. It is fun to run around and take ownership of your action and have everyone pat you on

the back. The question is do we take ownership when our actions do not get praise? There are no perfect people… period.

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to take ownership when you mess up. I say adult because if you had children you

know when they make mistakes ownership doesn’t occur. They always blame it on something or someone else. Are you doing the

same? Take responsibility for you actions and move one. It really comes down to two choices; You can be bitter or be better.

Action Item

This lesson will be tough. I am sure that there has been a time that you “passed the buck” even if you just feel short of taking full

ownership. Tell us about that instance. How did you immediately feel? Did this decision put someone in a bad position? What

will you do differently next time?

Lesson 11: Destruction vs Construction As nouns the difference between construction and destruction is that construction is the process of building while destruction is

the act of destroying. Lets think of a building. Construction is very hard. Destruction is very easy. In order to construct a building

you need a location, floor plans, material, measurements, capital. It takes a very long time and lots of effort plus there will be

obstacles along the way. If you want to knock a building down you can rent a wrecking ball and in one day it is destroyed. It may

be rumble but it is unusable. Because destruction is so easy people more readily chose it usually out of anger.

Think about your relationships including with a spouse. When conflict arises do you hurry to a destructive place. How has that

worked out for you? What things can you do better to be constructive.

Action Item

Think about your relationships with a spouse, partner, or friend. When conflict arises do you hurry to a destructive place? How

has that worked out for you? What things can you do to be more constructive versus destructive?

Lesson 12: Manage Your MoneyRemember when you were a kid and you badly wanted that candy bar? Your parents said no but you said “It’s only 50 cents”.

Perhaps it was a toy that wasn’t needed or when money was tight in your family. You didn’t care you wanted it. That is a child's

mentality- everything is a need. If you have children I am sure you are aware of this. The question is are you still in the same

mindset. Do you need that sweater because it is one sell? Can you really afford the car you drive? Are you an impulse buyer that

collects stuff for the immediate feeling you get when you buy it?

These are personal and maybe uncomfortable questions because they will make you examine if you handle your money like an

adult. It is important that responsible spending no matter how much you make become is part of your life. You can manage your

money or let it manage you.

Action Item

This lesson you will examine your checkbook last month. You will answer these 3 questions. Have you purchased something

that was an impulse buy? Have you bought something and justified it has a need when it was really a want? What spending

habit do you need to kick? Do you spend 50 dollars a month in Starbucks coffee? Please have complete and clear answers -

your Navigator will follow-up.

Extra Credit 1 (Mandatory Though…)It’s payday! You get up in the morning and see that your paycheck is lower than normal. You are very upset and worried because

you need groceries and need to pay bills now that you’ve returned from vacation. As you drive into work you get angry at “why the

company is keeping your money.” As you pull into work you get a text from a friend. You explain the situation to your friend. They

ask if you remembered to enter your PTO. You angrily text back that you didn’t but that shouldn’t matter, “they” know I was out and

you need to get paid.

Action Item

What should you do before you walk into the building or logging in for the day? How are you going to handle the people you

interact with when trying to resolve your issue? Please be details and think about all the lessons we just went through.

Extra Credit 2 (Still Mandatory ☺)You wake up today and realize you forgot to enroll for the mentorship program. All year long you’ve been waiting to enroll and

know you had the entire month to submit your application but put it off because “you just got busy.” You reach out to the program

contact but they informed you that the deadline is set and that you had 30 days to enroll. They are resistant to the fact that you

keeping telling them that you just forgot. They remind you that you received multiple reminders sent to you and there is nothing

they can do. You now have to wait another year to enroll. You want to respond back that this is totally unfair and that you plan to

complain as high as you can until you can be allowed to enroll. But instead, what should you really do?

Action Item

Instead of replying back with a harsh e-mail demanding your enrollment be accepted, what should you do? What level of fault do

you contribute to the missed deadline and why do you feel that you should not be held accountable for the oversight? When you

have to uphold similar policies for customers, what advice do you wish you could provide them to calm them down and assure

them you'd love to help but ultimately, the policy is there for a reason?