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F ive candidates in the raceto become Denver’s next may-or have confirmed their par-ticipation in the INTER-

MOUNTAIN JEWISH NEWS MayoralForum, Tuesday, April 30, 7 p.m.,at HEA.

The confirmed participants are:• Lisa Calderón, Regis Univer-

sity faculty member;• Jamie Giellis, former president

of the RiNo Art District;• Marcus Giavanni, broadcast-

er;• Michael Hancock, current two-

term mayor of Denver, and • Penfield Tate III, former state

senator and previous mayoralcandidate.

The forum will include quick-firequestions and answers posed bymoderator IJN Editor and Pub-lisher Rabbi Hillel Goldberg; deep-er questions posed to all candidatesby panelists JCRC Chair JackieCooper Melmed,IJNAssistant Edi-

tor Chris Leppek, and attorney andradio talk show host Craig Silver-man; and questions from audi-ence members.

“This is our city. This is ourfuture,” says Rabbi Hillel Goldberg,PhD, editor and publisher of theIJN. “As Denver citizens we shouldall scrutinize the candidates for thenext mayor of Denver. The upcom-ing IJN mayoral forum — justbefore the election — provides thatopportunity.”

Vol. 106, No. 14 II Adar 29, 5779 APRIL 5, 2019 © Published every Friday, Denver, CO $1.75

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IJN mayoral forum April 30

A dive into the dark worldof bipolar disorder

Center of measlesoutbreak

AUCKLAND (JTA) —The chairman of NewZealand’s biggestmosque accused Israel’s

Mossad intelligence agency and“Zionist business houses” ofbeing behind the terror attackon two mosques in Christchurch.

“I really want to say one thingtoday.Do you think this guy wasalone . . . I want to ask you —where did he get the fundingfrom?” Ahmed Bhamji, chair-man of the Mt Roskill MasjidE Umar, said in a speech March23 in Auckland that waslivestreamed on Facebook.

“I stand here and I say I havea very very strong suspicion thatthere’s some group behind himand I am not afraid to say Ifeel Mossad is behind this,” he

Israel election Tuesday, April 9 Kosher Living INSIDE

NewZealandimamblames Israel for attack

LOS ANGELES (JTA) —The Student Senate ofCalifornia’s Pitzer Col-lege has drafted a reso-

lution calling for the removalof College President MelvinOliver,after he decided to retainPitzer’s study abroad programin Israel against the recom-mendation of the Pitzer CollegeCouncil, made up of studentsand faculty.

Brown University PresidentChristina Paxson resisited sim-ilar pressures.

The Pitzer College resolutioncalls for “enacting no confidencein the President of the College,”and “for his immediate resig-nation or removal from office,”the Claremont Independent,a student newspaper, report-

Collegepresidentsvs. BDS‘Keep academicmission’

R abbi Sandra Cohen sits atthe sunlit, window-framedtable in her home study inDenver. Despite imminent

blizzard warnings, she cherishesthe moment.

“Today’s a good day,” she smiles.What sounds like a nod to nice

weather sums up one day in thelife of a decades long, recurringmental illness.

Cohen has bipolar disorder,a bio-chemically-based slippery slope for-

merly known as manic depres-sion.

“It’s an actual illness, it’s an ill-ness, it’s an illness,” she clarifiesfor the dubious.“Your moods are ateither end of the spectrum, some-times at the same time,” she says,fingering a silver watch.

“This is called a mixed state —the worst of both worlds.”

Mania “speeds you up. You don’tneed much sleep; you do more thanusual. I go shopping. And I give alot of money away to tzedakah.”

A low can spiral into paralyticdepression. Just getting out ofbed, showering, dressing or tak-ing a walk requires extraordinaryeffort.

Her most recent catastrophicdepression, on the dead end of theinventory, lasted from December,2017, until July, 2018.

“Internally, it feels like the worldis just too hard.”

Three years ago, the rabbi poseda daunting question to herselfand her family:

Is it time to come out of thecloset and speak about her battlewith mental illness to the Jewish

community? Cohen, her husband Ben and

daughter Shira discussed what she“would and would not reveal” inadvance. Some things are OK toexpose before a sea of faces. Oth-ers stay in the family.

“People are allowed to be privateabout an illness,” she says,“but theyshouldn’t be forced into silence.That’s the difference, right? Peo-ple who go public should not beshamed.”

Asked why she chose exposure,Cohen insists that potential falloutnever entered her mind.

“What could possibly happenthat’s worse than how I’ve felt? Lis-ten, I know how to be really unhap-py. I can be unhappy whether I dothis or not.”

A rabbi for almost 24 years,Cohen says that she has a trust-

Jamie Giellis Marcus Giavanni

Mayor MichaelHancock

Lisa Calderón Penfield Tate III

BY ANDREA JACOBSIJN Senior Writer

BY BEN SALESJTA

NEW YORK — RabbiMordechai Shain isn’t sureabout vaccines.

Almost all of the 400 kidsin the school he runs, from threemonths old to eighth-grade teens,are vaccinated. About eight or 10are not. But he’s skeptical thatimmunization works at all.

“My doctor in shul says every-one should take a flu shot, so a lotof people went,” said Shain, the headof school at the Tenafly Chabad Acad-emy in northern New Jersey, about13 miles from Manhattan.

“Ninety percent that took a flu

shot got flus and the 10% didn’tget the flu . . . I speak to so manydoctors and they’re saying just theopposite, that vaccines are good, butthey put in the vaccine differentmethods that give you more dan-ger than the vaccine is saving youfrom.”

Later he added, “In the vaccinethere are things there that areputting you at higher risk.”

(According to the Centers for Dis-ease Control, flu vaccinations reducethe risk of contracting the illnessby 40 to 60%.)

Shain’s school, located in the Jew-ish population center of suburbanBergen County, is the only one amongabout a dozen Orthodox schools therethat still accepts unvaccinated kids,

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Weekly Calendar, Sports 14

All children dependon ‘herd immunity,’being in a vaccinatedpopulation

There’s the internalnothingness, but also the community’srejection

Rabbi Sandra Cohen Ben Cohen

MEASLESContinued on Page 17

PRESIDENTSContinued on Page 17

NEW ZEALANDContinued on Page 17

BIPOLARContinued on Page 16

ed position in the community andfelt “I should do something with that.

“On the other hand, I’m not a con-gregational rabbi. I don’t have any-thing to lose.”

While awareness of mental illnesshas improved in the Jewish com-munity, Cohen feels it’s still defi-cient.

“We say the right words but I don’t

think we’re there yet,” she says.“Obviously a significant problem stillexists.

“For the Orthodox community, it’sa shidduch issue, an impedimentto a good marriage. That’s not good— but in the liberal community we’reequally embarrassed.”

Congregants surround Cohenafter services and whisper their ownor a family member’s familiarity withmental illness.

“What I want to say to our rab-bis is, now that your entire congre-gation has confessed to having ahistory of mental illness, how canwe move forward?”

C ohen,a chaplain,Jewish edu-cator and former rabbi ofTemple Micah,has lived witha diagnosable mental illness

since age 14 or 15. “I was sad, over-whelmed, frightened.”

Cohen had trouble accomplishinghealthy teenage tasks such asparental separation and establish-ing independence — yet she was alsovery high achieving.

“I got straight A’s and was vale-dictorian of my high school gradu-ating class,” she says. “But I wasemotionally immature. Isn’t thatinteresting? You can’t always tellwhat’s going on inside by lookingat the outside.”

Drawn to religious studies atMacalester College in St.Paul,Cohendecided that she preferred lookingat religion through a spiritual ratherthan an academic lens, “as an insid-er rather than an outsider.”

Cohen, who excelled at HUC-JIR in Cincinnati, underwent ther-apy in seminary. After ordination,she joined Temple Emanuel’s cler-gy and then served at Temple Mic-ah.

She married Ben Cohen in 1995.Daughter Shira’s birth two yearslater thrilled her. But it also inducedpost-partum depression.

Cohen adores her family,and theyadore her. In this respect, she’s for-tunate.

The stroke that ended her pulpitrabbinate also intensified her bipo-lar disorder. During intense lows,she cowers under blankets in a dark-ened bedroom for days, weeks orlonger.

Open about her suicidal states onthe bimah, Cohen goes into pierc-ing detail in the subdued privacyof the study.

“I end up with a terrible lack ofself esteem,” she says. “That’s thevoice inside my head telling meI’m not really worth anything. I ulti-mately feel like the easiest thingto do is to kill myself.

“It would be better for me, andeveryone around me.”

Cohen accurately reads the per-plexed face across the table.

“Yes, I was very good at hiding.”Asked whether Ben knew about

her illness prior to their marriage,Cohen “thinks so, but I’m sure he

never expected what we have. Wedidn’t expect the stroke either.

“That completely upended ourlives. But he’s been here for me allthe way.”

Shira was eight or nine whenCohen told her about her bipolardisorder and tried to explain heremotional and physical absences.

“I owed her that, and be clearabout what was going on: ‘Momhas an illness but it has nothing todo with you. It’s not your fault.’

“It’s not Ben’s fault either, but he’s

a grown up and it’s easier for himto understand.”

Cohen’s current regimen combinesmedication, therapy and transcra-nial magnetic stimulation (TMS),a mild electric shock administeredevery four weeks.

Over time, this drug will lose itsefficacy, like all the medications pre-ceding it. It’s a given with bipolardisorder. Until there’s a cure, Cohenwill tread fragile sand rather thansolid ground.

Reacting to the age-old accusa-tion that the mentally ill are not try-ing hard enough to beat theirproblems,Cohen vehemently shakesher kippah-covered head.

“If I have a brain tumor, are yougoing to accuse me of not trying hardenough? What I want to say is thisis a real illness I have, and you areexperiencing me trying as hard asI can.

“Have you noticed that I’m here,I’m wearing clean clothes and myhair looks good? This is me doing

everything I can — and I’m askingfor your support.

“If we could just cut ourselves thatmuch of a break, our illness mightbe more bearable. It won’t fix theproblem, but we wouldn’t be bur-dened by the judgment of others.”

P rayer is precious to Cohen,but when she’s depressed, arelentless void swallows alltraces of divine reciprocity.

Like the Psalmist, she cries out toG-d. “Where are you?”

But there’s no response — onlywhat Cohen describes as unen-durable emptiness.

“I personally don’t always expe-rience a union with G-d duringprayer. Feelings of spirituality comeand go on a regular basis, andthat’s fine.”

The discipline of prayer and ser-vice attendance can foster a senseof G-d but does not guarantee con-nection.“I guess sometimes you justfeel holier than others,” she smiles.

Some people suffering fromdepression, which differs from bipo-lar disorder in numerous respects,might rage against their Creator.

“For me, it’s not a question of beingangry at G-d. What happens isthat my daily regimen drasticallyshrinks.

“I tend to maintain more overt rit-uals: Shabbos dinner, lighting thecandles, Kiddush and Motzi. I’ll stillrecite the Sh’ma before bedtime andModeh Ani in the morning.

“But that whole Shacharit serviceisn’t going to happen. And when Ifind that quiet time with G-d, all Ifeel is emptiness.”

Evenings around the Shabbat

table differ, depending on the degreeof biochemical difficulty.

“Sometimes I feel warm and cozyand holy,” she says. “Or I light thecandles and think ‘whew, it’s beena hard week.’ Or nothing.And that’sfine, too. It’s better than the vastnothingness that leaves me broken.”

Extreme fatigue negates goingto synagogue. “It’s too hard to getup, shower, put on a nice dress andbe with all those people in public.”

Cohen says that compiling grat-itude lists, intended as an antidoteto despair, can be more harmful thanbeneficial, at least in her case.

“I make a gratitude lists when I’mdepressed,” she grins. “Then I say,‘What kind of terrible person wouldfeel lousy for having so much to begrateful for?’ I need a certain amountof biology to change before I canabsorb the grateful stuff.”

Besides her family, Cohen has ahandful of close friends that sheturns to for solace, comfort andprayer.

One of them is an Episcopal priest,

“and interestingly enough, she’s theone who’s been the most comfort-able praying with me. I think theoffer of prayer is a very intimate andimportant act for someone unableto pray.”

Cohen herself freely shares thisgift with others in need. “You mightnot have a lot of hope, but I will havehope for you — and I’ll hold onto ituntil you find it.”

She recently completed the nextto last year of the seven-and-a-half-year Daf Yomi cycle and hasevery intention of finishing it.Although illness upsets her con-centration and “parts of Daf Yomihave disappeared, I’ll just start over

again.”Reading Viktor Frankl, the late

Austrian Holocaust survivor andpsychiatrist, inspires Cohen to pur-sue meaning at its most elusivepoint. “He said we all have ourown search for meaning.

“I think that’s why I chose to speakabout my bipolar disorder to thecommunity. It’s an extension of mydesire to give my life meaning.

“Why has G-d put me here? Andwhat do I uniquely have to give?”

C ohen moves hearts whenev-er she speaks — but for howlong? Viable change, sheadvises, is best accomplished

through a series of patient, smallsteps.

“During discussions about help-ing the mentally ill in our commu-nity, we talk about the program-matic aspect.But it starts with thesesmall first steps.”

Talks would include every agegroup affected by mental illness,whether situational, chronic orsevere, as well as friends, teachersand rabbis.

Cohen, who has obviously wit-nessed gaps in the current system,tosses a ladder of examples.

“What happens to a kid who goesto a treatment center for bulimia?”

she says.“Can we tell her classmatesat the Jewish day school and encour-age them to send a get well card,like they would if she had cancer?

“Can students even talk about itonce the girl returns to school?”

Cohen remembers going throughan extremely painful time while herdaughter was in fifth grade.“I spoketo the school psychologist and Shi-ra’s teacher about what was hap-pening. That was more importantthan my right to privacy.

“My kid comes first.”Children and teens, she adds,

are more alert to unusual behaviorthan some parents acknowledge. Iftheir normally gregarious friend

withdraws or is suddenly anxious,to whom do they turn?

“Are we training our religiousschool students how to help a friendin trouble?” she asks. “Because thekids know who’s throwing up inthe bathroom; they know who’scutting.”

Cohen says that young peopleshould realize it’s OK to bring issuesor worries about an unhappy friendto their rabbi.

“Rabbis will not tell anyone; theywon’t tattle,” she says. “They arehere to help concerned friends fig-ure out what to do. That’s theirjob.”

Adult congregants must be sen-sitive to a fellow congregant’s pro-longed absence, not out of merecuriosity but authentic concern.

“It doesn’t have to be a big deal,”Cohen says. “Maybe send an email:‘You haven’t been here for a fewweeks. We miss you.’ It shows youmatter. If you’re depressed, it’s a bigdeal to hear this.

“You don’t even have to risk talk-ing! You just hit send.”

A few years ago, TempleEmanuel’s mental health commit-tee asked the federation to put outa manual on mental illness thatwould hang in synagogue lobbiesin Denver and Boulder.

Cohen says the manual, whichRodef Shalom and the HEA areupdating, accomplishes two goals:“It provides resources for the men-tally ill; and even if you don’t needresources, you know the synagoguecares.”

Trust is a stumbling block forthe mentally ill — trust in hope, intomorrow, even in G-d — and Cohenis the last person who expects aneasy fix.

But she wants the Jewish com-munity to trust her and all thosebattling psychic demons.

“I have a biologically-based men-tal illness,” she says. “When it’sbad it gets bad. I’m not makingthis up. If I don’t take care of myself,I get sick.

“We are the ones who know what’shappening inside of us. It’s not toomuch to ask our Jewish world tobelieve us.” ■

Andrea Jacobs may be reachedat andrea@ijn.com

Rabbi shares mental health struggleSandra Cohen uses her position in community to educate, raise awareness

16 • Section A • INTERMOUNTAIN JEWISH NEWS • April 5, 2019

P R O F I L E

BIPOLARFrom Page 1

THE HIDING IS OVERRabbi Sandra Cohen, who served Temple Emanuel and Tem-ple Micah, tells her truth to Jewish congregations.

‘We say the right words but mental illness isstill a problem in this community’

‘Speaking about my illness is an extension ofmy desire to give my life meaning’

‘Are we training our religious school studentshow to help a friend in trouble?’

K IEV (JTA) — A Ukrain-ian comedian who isJewish was the topvote-getter in the first

round of Ukraine’s presidentialelection,according to exit polls.

Exit polls on Sunday, March31, showed Volodymyr Zelen-sky with 30.4% of the vote.

At least half of the vote isrequired to win. A run-off isscheduled for April 21.

Zelensky, 41, will face eitherincumbent Petro Poroshenko,who is seeking a second termand is showing 17.8% in theexit poll, or former prime min-ister Yulia Timoshenko, whopolled at 14.2% in the run-off,but is disputing the results.

Born to a Jewish family ofscientists in Kryvyi Rih nearDnipro, Zelensky has not men-tioned his Jewish identity ininterviews before or during thecampaign, which critics say ispurposefully vague.

He is the star of a hit TVshow “Servant of the People.”

Ukraine’sJewish comicis ahead