incyprus 2

1 | In Cyprus In Cyprus | 2

Issue 1 April 2011

Interview With the outragous

misfits

The recipes that have been lost over the years

with the cook club

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Publisher: Elliot WalshAdvertising: 99119389Editorial/Design: 99780421E-Mail: [email protected]: www.intouchincyprus.weebly.com

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JUST ANOTHER SUCKER

ON THE VINEGary Grimshaw was very happy with his new home in Cyprus. Most weekday evenings he would sit on his patio and watch beautiful sunsets across No Man’s Land. Not until the sun was well and truly over the yardarm, would he permit himself to open a bottle of his favourite Cypriot wine. He sipped slowly from a goblet watching the lights of Salamis and Bogaz twinkling across the Bay of Famagusta. His dog, Constantinos the Great Dane snored peace-fully at his feet. From time to time Gary indulged in a little stargazing, seeking inspiration for his latest story for the Larnaca Writers’ Group. One evening a very bright light appeared on the horizon. Gary was used to seeing the lights of aircraft approaching Ercan Airport, but this was different. The light was white and incredibly bright, like burning phosphorous. After a short while more lights appeared in the West and North. From Dherynia, across Varosha and all the way up the Panhandle, the sky was full of them. It was then he heard the Voices for the first time. “Go to sleep now, everything will be alright...go to sleep.” they whispered He awoke with a start from a deep sleep. It was five o’clock. Something was not quite right. The sun was streaming in the back bedroom win-dow. Gary realised it was five o’clock in the afternoon, he had slept all day and all night. After a quick coffee, he took the dog for a walk around the melon fields. Later while he was shav-ing, he noticed angry red marks on either side of his temple. “Blooming bugs” thought Gary, “I must get that fly screen fitted on the bedroom window.”Half an hour later he was walking along the deserted Kennedy Avenue at Kapparis heading for the Karas Family Tavern. When he got to the bar it was empty This was unusual for this time of day. He then remem-bered some talk about getting a coach up to go to the races at Nicosia. That must be it. They would be back soon no doubt. Gary knocked on the bar top and called out, but nobody came. As he was a well known regular there, he decided to help him-self to a bottle of wine from the cool cabinet. He placed a twenty euro note beside the cash register. After grabbing a glass, Gary opened the bottle and poured himself a drink. Picking up a beer stained copy of yesterday’s Cyprus Mail from the counter, Gary began to read. In the stop press there was a

few lines about strange lights in the sky above West-ern Europe. In spite of this he remembered nothing of the last evening’s events. After a while a man appeared and sat on a barstool beside Gary. “Sorry mate, there is no one here yet. I think they have all gone on an outing They won’t be long now I’m sure. Would you like a glass of my wine while you are waiting?”He took down another glass, filled it, and handed it to the stranger who said nothing. Suddenly he picked up the glass, sniffed the contents, and put it down on the bar without drinking any. “Sorry….you must be a beer man then. Would you like me to open a bottle of Keo for you?”The man remained silent. After several failed at-tempts to strike up a conversation, Gary returned to his newspaper He could discreetly glimpse the

stranger from time to time by his refection in the mirror behind the bar. He was adorned in a tight fitting jump suit that appeared to change colour as the light reflected on it. Two tone yes...but this was ridiculous! His ears, nose and jaw all appeared to be a little ‘pointy.’ Gary noted the man’s forefingers were strangely longer than

his middle fingers. Had he escaped from an Insti-tution , or was this a promotion for a new beer or something? Gary felt a little uneasy as he noticed Mr. Pointy was sucking on his left forefinger rather noisily. Quicker than you can say Mr. Spock; the said long and moistened digit was deftly placed in Gary’s left ear! “Oi…what’s your game?” shouted Gary jump-ing from the barstool and raising his fists. Pointy spoke at last, in a peculiar kind of echoing mono-tone without any visible lip movement. “So sorry. No need for violence. Please forgive me. I only arrived last night and am not yet familiar with all your customs and protocols yet.” he droned, picking up the wine and sniffing at it once more.

“Has He escaped from tHe ‘Big

House’ in nicosia or sometHing?”


“I don’t care where you come from mate, but if you come in to a bar like this and do stuff like that…well you are going to get filled in.” threatened Gary.“Where do you come from then…the Amazon Rain Forest or something?” said Gary sarcastically. “ I come from the binary planets of Yin and Yang, a million light years away in the Orphanedes Galaxy. Last night we invaded your world and we will be running things from now on. Let me assure you, you have nothing to fear from us; as long as your leaders do what we tell them. It will be, as you earthlings might say, a be-nign dictatorship. You will hardly notice we are here.”Gary’s jaw dropped open when The Aliens’ eyes turned lilac and his suit changed colour for the umpteenth time. “In time you will learn more of our civiliza-tions. Of their beauty, grace and love. Where there is no pain, no want...only fulfillment for every individual. Unlimited travel and creativity opportunities beyond your imagination. Sorry I cannot explain to you our quest on Earth, your beastly intelligence would be inadequate to comprehend our plans.” “O well never mind…do have beautiful women up there?” asked Gary, feeling a bit stupid after he had said it. “We have no women in our worlds” “But what about sex and all that?” “What is sex?” “It is something men and women do to pleasurably express our love and attraction for one another, and also for the procreation of our species.” “Ah procreation…yes, I see what you mean.” “So how do you reproduce on the planets Yin and Yang,” challenged Gary, Pointyman sucked hard on his forefinger and thrust it once more in the direction of Gary’s ear. “Ahhhhh…get off you maniac! I’m outa here right now!”Gary looked at the clock, and was alarmed to realise he could already be two hours pregnant with Pointy-man’s baby...or would it be the other way round?Suddenly flashing and twirling lights appeared out-side. Was it a UFO come for the stranger…or maybe come for himself? As he left the Taverna he was pleased to see it was the lights of an ambulance, even though it was from a private clinic he had never heard of. Two men in white coats got out. “I’m soooo glad you are here,” exclaimed Gary“Have you come to pick him up? He’s as mad as a hatter. Says he is an alien come to take over the

world. Has he escaped from the ‘Big House’ in Nico-sia or something?”The older of the two Cypriot paramedics put his arm around Gary. “Mr. Gary we would like you to come along with us please.”At first the penny did not drop…..then it did with a resounding thud!. “No, no...not me you fools - its him, him there….the Pointy Alien! Can’t you both see him ? Look he’s changing colour again.” “There is no one there Mr. Gary, look you can

see that. Please don’t worry now, everything is going to be ok…no problem, no problem at all”Gary was about to leg it , when the hypodermic nee-dle entered his flesh. He very quickly became totally compliant as the medics strapped him down on a stretcher. He noticed how

they both had a red mark either side of their tem-ples. “Did they not have bedroom fly screens as well?” he mused As the ambulance drove on through the night, the voices returned once more. “Go to sleep now, everything will be alright…go to sleep.”

“No, no...not me you fools - its him, him there….the

Pointy Alien! Can’t you both see him ? Look he’s changing

colour again.”

© Clive Gardner Larnaca Writers 2010


The Cook Club

Ingredients:8oz of chopped datesOne tablespoon of Bicarbonate of soda8oz sugar3oz butter1 egg1 tablespoon of baking powderHalf tablespoon of salt2oz chopped walnuts10oz self raising flour5 tablespoons of brown sugar2 tablespoons butter2 tablespoons of cream

Preparations:Pour one breakfast cup of boiling water over 8oz of chopped dates and one tea-spoon bicarbonate of soda.Let this stand while the following are mixed together; 8oz sugar 3oz butter 1 egg 1 ta-blespoon baking powder, half tablespoon of salt, 2oz chopped walnuts, 10oz self raising flour, mix all together and bake in a 7” square tin for 45 minutes in a moderate oven 350-375 deg or gas mark 4-5.The icing mix; 5 tablespoons of soft brown sugar 2 tablespoons of butter 2 table-spoons of cream boil for 3 minutes beat

until mixture starts to fudge then pour over the cake and decorate with nuts and dates.

The Queen Mothers Favourite Recipe


On the eve of his 80th birthday and the release of his film Invictus, Clint East-wood talks about politics, monogamy and the woman who finally made him grow up.The actor, writer and film-maker will be 80 in May, yet the man sitting in this Los Angeles hotel room could easily pass for a young-looking 65. This is the fourth time I’ve met him and he talks as quietly and succinctly as ever, delivering short pithy lines with his clipped, gravely tones. He’s no great shakes as an anecdotalist and can be a little taciturn at times. But slow? Never. Eastwood doesn’t smoke ('only in mov-ies’), has never done drugs ('they just weren’t my thing’), and attributes his rude health to a twice-daily meditation routine and a diet that scrimps on red meat. He was recently named one of the world’s most stylish men by the Ameri-can edition of GQ, yet today Eastwood’s cool is seriously compromised by a slightly fuddy-duddy windcheater. 'I guess I’m still a blue-collar guy,’ he laughs. Joking aside, Eastwood is justifi-ably proud of his working-class upbring-ing ('I have worked ever since I was 13’) and an underdog story easily as compel-ling as any from his films. He was born in 1930 in San Francisco, California, but spent much of his child-hood on the move. 'When I was born, the economy wasn’t in a great state, it was the Depression and my father had to be quick to try and find work,’ he says. 'Everyone was looking for work at that time. He sold stocks and bonds, and was always moving from one company to another, looking for new opportunities, to better himself, and to give us a better chance.’ Eastwood remembers a time that his father moved his young family 450 miles across California, from Sacramento to Pacific Palisades, so that he could take a job pumping petrol at a gas station. 'Saying that, though, I don’t really re-member things being particularly tough as a child. We didn’t go hungry – we were fed and played with whatever was around. I’m sure my father did have lots of worries, but my sister and I didn’t re-ally know about them.’ His father’s work ethic, however, still made a strong impression on his son.

Even today, Eastwood is one of the most prolific directors of his generation, mak-ing no fewer than 14 films since 1992’s Unforgiven and much of his success can be traced to an innate understanding of working-class values (consider 1982’s Honkytonk Man, for example), forged while working alongside his father in steel mills and lumber yards in his early twenties. Clinton Eastwood snr died in 1970; at the time his son was a leading man, but no more. One of Eastwood’s great regrets is that his father didn’t live long enough to see him blossom into the film-maker he has become (his mother lived until she was 97, and while she was alive Eastwood spoke to her every day). What did his father think of his son becoming an actor? 'He thought it was a stupid idea,’ he says. 'But he was of a different generation, a different era. He never fantasised. But I have always been that kind of a guy. I am a good listener. I think that came from my schooling. “I was very quiet. My dad, though, he was the opposite; he was very outgo-ing. People really loved him. He was spectacular, in fact, and he would have been a great actor. That would have been something to see; he would have enjoyed every minute of it.’ Following his father’s wishes, he gradu-ated from high school and had intended to study music at the University of Seat-tle, until he was drafted into the Army at the outbreak of the Korean War in 1950.

He never saw action, but he did nearly lose his life. It was the summer of that year and Eastwood’s parents were living in Seattle. He had met

a girl when on a visit home and decided to see her again, hitching a ride with a naval plane going north. On the return journey, however, things began to go wrong. 'It was a naval torpedo bomber – there were no seats – and I had to squeeze into the radar compartment on the plane,’ Eastwood says. 'It wasn’t designed to house humans and once crammed inside, thousands of feet up, the door below him sprung open, leaving him exposed. He reached for the intercom; it didn’t work. 'I nearly

fell out,’ he grimaces. 'I was a mile up holding on for dear life.’ After wedging the door shut, Eastwood clung on. But the plane climbed higher, forcing him to reach for the oxygen. It didn’t work. He passed out, coming to an hour or so later only to discover the pilot, out of fuel, about to crash-land into the sea. Eastwood was thrown free, and fought a fierce current to drag himself towards the shore. 'I don’t recall how long it took to get out, but as I’ve said, it was an ordeal I never want to repeat,’ he recalls in the most matter-of-fact way possible. 'I collapsed on the beach.’ All this for a girl. Have women always been his weakness? 'Maybe that’s true,’ he shrugs. 'I think I became hooked on

girls at a fairly early age. 'Certainly that’s where the interest in music comes from.’ Eastwood is an accom-plished musician and a fine pianist, directing 1988’s Bird, a biopic of jazz legend

Charlie Parker, and also scored several of his own films. When he was young he realised that 'if you were at a party and could sit down at the piano and play a few numbers, girls seemed to like that.’ He laughs. 'So I’d listen to the records out at the time and learn to play along. It’s funny, but even then, as a mediocre student, I knew that I would do OK – there was something out there waiting for me.’ Not that this was immediately appar-ent. After his discharge from the Army, Eastwood drifted around working in the aforementioned mills, digging ditches and cleaning swimming pools. In 1953 he married his first wife, jour-nalist Maggie Johnson, and soon after met director Arthur Lubin, who liked Eastwood’s demeanour. A few small television parts followed and in 1958 he finally got his big break, on the cowboy serial Rawhide, which ran until 1966. 'It was like an apprenticeship for me,’ he says. 'I learnt the nuts and bolts of film-making and, more importantly, really learnt what I wanted to do.’ In 1963 he started work on his first film, Sergio Leone’s Italian/Spanish/German production A Fistful of Dollars, for which he was paid $15,000 and received an ad-ditional credit as 'Western Consultant’. 'I’ve always trusted my instincts, and

with the spaghetti westerns, I just thought it would be good to go to Spain and see how films were made in other countries,’ he says. 'I wanted to learn. I guess that you could call me a late starter, and I think that’s why there was such a sense of urgency for me.’ He was already in his mid-thirties, and when he finally decided that he’d like to try his hand at directing, with DJ-stalker movie Play Misty for Me, he was already 40 years old. 'People didn’t really do that at the time, go from actor to director,’ he continues. 'There were precedents, Stan Laurel for one, but it was not something that was very common.’ And yet he proved wonderfully adept, his time spent in television at a ma-ture age taught him how to make films quickly and efficiently. He is proud of the fact that even now, after 30-plus films in the director’s chair, he has never gone over budget or over schedule. But for all his popularity he didn’t earn Academy recognition until he was 62, when his revisionist horse opera Unfor-given galloped off into the sunset with the statues for Best Picture and Best Director. 'I knew that the time was right for me to make Unforgiven,’ he says, 'although I didn’t think it’d make any money.’ The film took $150million. Eastwood is less proud of the way he has conducted his personal life. As the five mothers of his seven children will attest, he’s often found monogamy difficult. He remains friends with four of them, al-though not with Sandra Locke, his long-term lover and author of the tell-all book The Good, the Bad and the Very Ugly. In 1996 he married his current wife, Dina Ruiz, a former television anchorwoman, 35 years his junior; the couple’s daugh-ter, Morgan Eastwood, was born in the December of the same year. And East-wood is now, finally, 'living in my state of monogamy quite happily’. 'Dina is everything I ever wanted and never found anywhere else,’ he smiles. 'It took me until I was 65 to find her. Like they said at school, I’m a little slow – it takes me longer to do things. But, because I have had children at an older age, I’ve had time to learn patience that I didn’t have earlier in my life when I was more ambitious.’ And yet he is still driven today. When we meet, his latest film, Invictus – the 67th he’s made; his 31st as director – is about be released. The film’s posters feature a muscular Matt Damon, bedecked in the green and gold jersey of the South African rugby

team, while the movie itself is brim-ming with on-field action, including a bone-crunching 12-minute sequence at the story’s conclusion that re-enacts the Springboks’ unlikely 1995 World Cup Final victory over Jonah Lomu’s all-con-quering All Blacks. But the director insists that he has not made a sports movie. 'This project wasn’t approached because of rugby, just like Million Dollar Baby wasn’t ap-proached because of female boxing,’ Eastwood says. 'It’s the story of the use of the game – that’s what attracted me to the project, and to rugby. For me, the story is about the use of a game for reconciliation in a country that was on the verge of civil war when Nelson Mandela took office. 'If he had proceeded with a more mili-tary attitude, he would have probably had sympathy there because they had been under apartheid for so long. But Mandela, being a very special person, saw it a different way and he was looking for other ways to reconcile the country and bring it together.’ Adapted from the book Playing the Enemy by journalist John Carlin, Invictus charts Mandela’s bid to unite his people behind the Springboks’ tilt at rugby glory during the 1995 World Cup – the first major sporting event to be held in the post-apartheid country. And while this might sound like a sensi-ble plan, it was plagued with problems, not least by the fact that the vast major-ity of black South Africans regarded the national rugby team’s green and gold jerseys as symbols of white supremacy. Eastwood casts old friend Morgan Free-man as Mandela, with Damon as South African rugby legend François Pienaar. To his credit, he does not gloss over the fact that for all his political and humanitarian excellence, Mandela had his faults. Like Eastwood, he’s a hero with a particular flaw: 'He wasn’t successful in his marriage, in his relationship with his daughter, and other children that he had,’ says Eastwood, who met Mandela on the Invictus set. 'And I think he has a lot of regret about that sort of thing, but he gave himself to his country.’ As with his 2008 film Gran Torino, which he starred in and directed, his latest offering deals with race. 'That is coinci-dence,’ he says. 'All the story material comes to you coincidentally. 'It was like when I did Flags Of Our Fathers and turning straight round and doing Letters from Iwo Jima from an-other point of view. Mandela had been in prison for years and comes out and

there’s the most unusual thing, almost biblical, where he turns the other cheek.’ When shooting his two Second World War films, Flags Of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima, Eastwood came under attack from Spike Lee, who claimed that the director overlooked African-American soldiers who fought in the Pacific theatre: 'If he wishes I could assemble African-American men who fought at Iwo Jima and I’d like him to tell these guys that what they did was insignificant.’ Eastwood responded by accusing Lee of historical ignorance and suggesting that Lee should 'shut his face’. Thanks to hard-guy films like the Dirty Harry series, many perceive Eastwood as a huntin’, shootin’ conservative in the Charlton Heston mould. Eastwood, how-ever, considers himself a 'social libertar-ian. Leave everybody alone. Quit trying to force everything down everybody’s throat.’ And he is a true animal lover, claiming that the last thing to move him to tears was the death of his daughter’s white cockatoo. His family currently includes 'chickens and birds and a rabbit; the rab-bit follows me everywhere.’ For all its persistence, the rabbit will have to cope by itself for a month or two; its owner is already gearing up for his next movie, Hereafter, in which he re-teams with Damon (whom Eastwood praises as 'one of the better young ac-tors’). The film, currently shrouded in secrecy, is a taut thriller which will shoot both in Britain and the United States. 'It is a contemporary piece. It’s three different stories with people who have gone through some sort of stressful time and it’s about how they sort of converge together. Much like a lot of French mov-ies have been in the past, where the stories kind of converge together, and destiny drives each person towards the other. 'I keep finding interesting stories, or they come to me, so I’ll keep making movies.’ But what about his acting? He starred in, as well as directed, Gran Torino, but is he now done? 'I don’t know. I never know what’s the last one, but I’m at the age where they don’t write a lot of great roles for people and I’m happy at the back of the camera. I don’t have to wear a tie, nobody is coming in saying, “this won’t match”, and so, there are a lot of advantages.’ He laughs, fiddling with the buttons on his windcheater. Not that he’s ruled out the possibility of being a leading man again.

By Will Lawrence Feb 3rd 2010

‘I guess I’m still a blue-collar

guy,’

‘I learnt the nuts and bolts of film-making and, more importantly, really learnt what I want-

ed to do.’

Interview With Clint Eastwood


The Outrageous

misf its


Grade 6’s Fantasy Dinner Party

Hi! We’re the students of Grade 6 at the American Academy Junior School, and

we’d like to tell you who we would choose to have at our Fantasy Dinner Party. Obvi-

ously, we’d all be there so we’re inviting six celebrities to join us. We got to this final list by making lots of suggestions, short-listing them and then voting – we hope you like

our ultimate guest list!

The venue: We’ve chosen to have our Dinner Party at Marzano’s restaurant in Larnaca because

it’s got great food (especially the dough balls!), it’s a very child-friendly place with great staff and the paintings on the walls are amazing. There’s often live music there too which we think our guests

would enjoy.

1. Walt Disney: We all admire Walt Disney for his amazing imagination and for the fact that he created a wonderful world for children through his original characters. Some of us have been to Disneyland and have enjoyed the shows and rides. We’d love to ask him which is his favourite character, what his favourite film is and how he managed to come up with the idea of Mickey Mouse!

2. Bruce Lee: Most of the boys in our class are fans of this martial arts star (especially in his film ‘Enter the Dragon’) and would love to be taught to do a few moves! Bruce Lee basi-cally taught the world all about martial arts and is respected by millions. We’d like to know who HIS teacher was and how he managed to get to be so successful.

3. Michael Jackson: We’re learning some of his songs in Music at the moment, but most of us have loved his songs for years. He is the King of Pop, has won loads of awards and is a widely respected singer and dancer. We’d like to ask him questions about his childhood and about how he died, and it would be great if he could teach us how to do the Moonwalk! We also think he’d really like to chat with Walt Disney, seeing as he was such a fan of Peter Pan.

4. Justin Bieber: The class had mixed views about this singer – it seems you either love him or hate him, but the fans won out in the vote. He has made some great songs in the last couple of years, has won many awards and has the most viewed video-clips on youtube. Lots of the girls think he’s really ‘fit’ too!

5. Carlos Mamani – the first Chilean miner to be rescued: We all discussed the news of the miners’ rescue and thought it was a fascinating news story. It’s amazing that these miners managed to survive for all those days under the ground, and we’d like to talk with Carlos about their experiences as a group of trapped men, how he felt when he came out into the sunlight and what he will do next.

6. Pele: Most of the boys are great fans of ‘the greatest footballer in the world ever’! They are in awe of the way he managed to combine goals with back-flips and want to be taught how to tackle like a pro. Who knows, maybe after the meal, all of the celebrity guests and the whole of Grade 6 could play a football match together. We have a great cheer-leading group as well!


ASTIN, SeanBLOOM, OrlandoBROSNAN, PierceBUSCEMI, SteveCAGE, NicolasCONNERY, SeanCROWE, RussellCRUISE, TomDAFOE, WillemDE NIRO, RobertDIESEL, VinDOWNEY JR, RobertDREYFUSS, RichardDUVALL, RobertEVERETT, RupertFERRELL, Will

FIENNES, RalphFREEMAN, MorganGERE, RichardGOSLING, RyanHANKS, TomHARRELSON, WoodyHOFFMAN, Philip SeymourHOWARD, TerrenceHURT, WilliamJACKSON, Samuel L.JONES, Tommy LeeKEATON, MichaelKILMER, ValLABEOUF, ShiaMAGUIRE, Tobey MARTIN, Steve

MORTENSEN, ViggoMYERS, MikePATTINSON, RobertPENN, SeanREYNOLDS, RyanROGEN, SethRUDD, PaulSMITH, WillSTALLONE, SylvesterSTEWART, PatrickVAUGHN, VinceWILKINSON, TomWILLIAMS, RobinWILSON, Owen

Movie ActorsThe remaining letters spell the name of a movie for which William

Hurt won an Oscar

InCyprus Take a BreakTime

*All answers will be in next months issue so keep a look out to see if your answers are correct.

ACROSS1. Relative of a giraffe6. Expect11. Scatter14. Mature15. Oblivion16. Bother17. Testimony

19. French for “Good”20. Ottoman title21. Supposedly, he delivers babies23. Animal with a snout26. A gesture of respect made by women27. Designed to confuse

DOWN 1. Verbal2. Do-it-yourselfer’s purchase3. Clever4. P5. Urge6. “Oh, my!”7. Accompanying8. Dogfish9. Nigerian tribesman10. The shaved crown of a monk11. Wooden shoe12. Smells13. Wobbly18. Thick bituminous liquids 22. Attempt23. Leg bone24. Stop (nautical)25. Animal friends26. A hollow in a cliff27. Lady’s title28. Runs in neutral29. Give a speech30. Gunpowder ingredient

33. A gold coin of ancient Persia34. Apportion35. Avid37. Backside38. Stiff hair 40. Astronauts exit through this41. Authorization42. Morning moisture43. Nipple44. Concur45. Piloted a car46. Inn49. Assistant50. Scoundrel51. Concludes52. 1 1 1 155. Fish eggs56. Crag57. Motel58. Half of two

31. Diminish32. Pilot a car33. An East Indian tree36. A young lady37. Winged38. A period of discounted prices39. Dine40. Mountain crest41. Blackbird42. Thesis44. Stick47. Make into law48. A dog’s warning49. Not behind53. Decay54. Positioning59. Biblical first woman60. Encrypted61. 1000 kilograms62. Moray63. Beams on ships64. Gray sea eagles


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