in a nutshell about observing and knowing your...
TRANSCRIPT
6 months birth to
In a nutshell•Observation,orwatching,yourbabyfromtheverystartofhislife
isonewaytogettoknowhim.•Throughyourobservations,youwilllearnyourbaby’slikes,dislikes
andpersonality.•Understandingthedifferentareasofdevelopmentisawaytoknow
whattoexpectasyourbabygrows.
About Observing and Knowing Your Child
fornational r cente
Yourbabyisaspecial,uniquehumanbeing.Yourbabystartedtoshowyouhispersonal-ityevenbeforehewasborn!Youcangettoknowyourbabyfromtheverystartofhislifebyobserving,orwatchinghim.Observingdoesn’ttakeanyspecialequipmentortrain-ing.Itisoneofthemosthelpfulandenjoyableactivitiesnewparentscando.Itstartswithcountingthoselittlefingersandtoeswhenyoufirstlayeyesonyourchild!Whenyouarepuzzledorconcernedaboutsomethingyourbabyisdoing,takeastepbackandjustob-serveforawhile.Yourbabywillmostoftenbetheonetogiveyouanswerstoyourquestions.
Observingyourchildisonewayforyoutoknowyourchild.Youarebecomingtheexpertonyourchild!Gettingtoknowthisuniquelittleper-sonwillhelpyourespondtoher.Whenyoulearnthecuesyourbabygivesyou,youcanmeetherneeds.Whenyoumeetyourbaby’sneeds,shelearnstotrustyou.Shelearnsthattheworldisagoodplacetobe.Youandyourbabycandevelopastronglovingrelationshipthatwilllastalifetime.Itallstartswithobservation.
Knowingthedifferentstagesofchilddevelop-mentisawaytolearnwhattoexpectasyourchildgrows.Thinkaboutthedifferentskillar-eas.Learnabouthowababy’sskillsdevelopinLanguage,Intellectual,Social-EmotionalandMotor.
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• Observationcanbeinformal.Taketimetowatchyourbabyassheeats,sleepsandplays.Makesomementalnotesaboutwhatyouseeherdo.You’llsoonseechangesinthesoundsshemakes,thewayshenoticeshersurroundings,andthewaysheholdsandmovesherbody.
• Formalobservationmeansyoukeepnotesoruseachecklist.Forexample,youmaywanttokeeptrackofthetimesandhowmanyminuteshenurses.Reviewyournotesoftentoseepatternsandnotechanges.
• Watchthecuesyourbabygivesyou.Babiescommunicatethrougheyecontact,facialexpressions,bodypositioning,andbyusingtheirvoice.Whenyouobserveyourbaby,youbegintoseepatternsinherbehavior.
• Acryingbabycanbeveryupsetting.Asaparentyouwanttomakehimfeelbetterrightaway.Butifyouarecalm,yourbabywillhaveaneasiertimecalmingdown.Takeafewdeepbreathsandobserveyourbabytoseewhattheproblemis.
• Learnaboutwhatyoucanexpectyourchildtodoatdifferentages.Therearemanyreliablewebsitesthatofferinformationtoparentsonmanytopics,includingmilestonesindevelopment:•TheAmericanAcademyofPediatrics—www.aap.org•TheCentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention(CDC)—www.cdc.gov.•ParentLink—http://extension.missouri.edu/parentlink
• ContactParentsasTeachersatwww.ParentsAsTeachers.orgforinformationonhowyoungchildrendevelop.Whenyouknowwhattoexpect,youwillbeabetterobserverofyourchild.
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Observing and Knowing Your Child How-to’sBirth to 6 Months
6 to 12 months
In a nutshell•Yourbabyisonthemove,andyouwillbeobservingonthego!•Youwilllearnmanythingsfromobservingyourchild.•Childrendevelopfavoritesveryearlyinlife.
About Observing and Knowing Your Child
fornational r cente
Ifyourbabyhasn’tstartedtomovearoundyet,getready!Shewillsoonberolling,scoot-ing,creeping,crawlingandwalking.Haveyouleftyourbabyinoneplaceonthefloorforjustafewminutes,onlytoreturnandfindheracrosstheroom?Ifyourbabyisonthemove,youwillbeobservingonthego!Thebasicsofobservingarethesame:
•Learnabouttheagesandstagesofchilddevelopmentsoyouknowwhattoexpect.
•Pickatimeorabehaviortokeeptrackof.•Watchherinformallyorwriteobservations
down.
Whenyouwatchyourchildmovearoundthehouseyouwilllearnwhatchallengesher.Youwilllearnhowyourchildislearningtohandlefrustration.Youalsoneedtolookattheenvi-ronmentnow.Lookforthingsthatmightneedtobechanged.Forexample,ifyourchildkeepscrawlingtothelowshelfthatholdsyourcollectionofDVDs,youmaydecidetomovethemoutofherreach.Youcanchangetheenvironmenttosupportyourchild’sdevelop-mentalneeds.
Whenyouobserveyourchildyouwilllearnmanythingsthatwillhelpyoumakedeci-sionsasaparent.Youcanbetterunderstandwhyheactsthewayhedoes.Itiseasiertobepatientwhenyouunderstandwhyyourchilddoessomething.Yourchildisauniquelittleperson.Observinghelpsyouknowhowheexpresseshisneedsanddesires.Itwillalsohelpyouunderstandhowyourchildrelatestoothers,bothpeersandotheradults.
Youhaveprobablynoticedthatyourchildhassomelikesanddislikes.Childrendevelopfavoritesveryearlyinlife.Maybeit’sacertainstoryatbedtimeortheplaygroundthatex-citesher.Yourchild’sfavoriteswillbeappar-enttoyouwhenyouobserveherplayanddailyroutines.Youngchildrenwanttorepeatafavoriteactivityoverandover.Youmaythinkyoucan’treadthatfavoritebookonemoretime,buttoyourchildit’safamiliaroldfriend.Soonyouwillseeyourchild’sfavoriteschange,andthoseearlypreferenceswillbepreciousmemories.Aslongasherchoicesarehealthyones,letyourchildenjoyherfavoritesaslongandasoftenasshewants.
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• Getdownonyourchild’slevelandlookaroundhisenvironment.Youwillgetadifferentviewofwhatneedstobechangedtokeephimsafe.
• Observehowyourchildrespondstodifferentsettings.Youmayfindsheismorecomfortableinfamiliarsurroundingsoradventurouswhensheisinnewplaces.
• Observehowyourbabyrelatestootherpeople.Thismightbeabigchangeatthistimeinhislife.Aroundtheageof8or9months,babiesbecomemoreawareofadultswhoarenottheircaregivers.Yourbabymayseemfearful,cryandclingtoyouwithpeopletheyseesomewhatfrequently.Thisistypicalandshowsyourbabyknowshecantrustyou.The6-month-oldwhowillinglywentintohisuncle’sarmsmaybecomea10-month-oldwholookswaryandturnstohisparent.Offeryourchildsecurityandbepatient.Don’trequirethathegotosomeonehedoesn’ttrust.
• Considerkeepinganotebookofobservationstosharewithyourbaby’schildcareprovider.Eachday,recordobservationsmadeduringthetimeheiswithyou.Askyourcareprovidertodothesame.Youmightwanttodeveloparecordingsheetthatasksforthesameinformationeachday.Blankpaperwillalsowork.Makesuretoincludethedateoftheobservation.
• Keepupwithyourmobilechild.Spendsometimeeachdayobservingyourchildasshemovesfromplacetoplace.Watchhowsheinteractswithherenvironment.
• Keepalistofyourchild’sfavoritethings:— thewordsheunderstands,andthosehesays— whatheusestohelphimcalmdown— whathelikesanddoesnotliketoeat— afavoritebabygame— asongthat’ssuretobringonsleepYouwillbegladyouobservedyourchild’sfavoritethingsateachage.
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Observing and Knowing Your Child How-to’s6 to 12 Months
12 - 24 months
In a nutshell•Observationwillhelptounderstandwhattriggersmisbehavior.•Yourchildwilllearnfromthegoalsyouset.•Respondtoyourchildinwaysshecanunderstand.
About Observing and Knowing Your Child
fornational r cente
Everyparentwantsthebestfortheirchild,andeveryparentwantsthebestfromtheirchild.Parentswanttheirchildtolistentothem,respecttherulestheysetup,andshowgoodbehavior.Sometimeswhatmayseemlikebadbehaviormaybeunderstandablewhenyouobservethewholesituation.Forexample,takinganactivetoddlertoarestaurantandexpectinghimtositquietlymayresultinacrabby,fussychild.Picnickingintheparkfordinnermaybemoresuitableforthischild.Watchyourchildtolearnhiscues.Youwillbeabletotellwhenheisoverstimulatedornotabletomeetthedemandsofthesituation.
Yourchildmustlearnfromyou,herfirstteach-er,whatbehaviorisappropriateindifferentplaces.Canyouimaginehowdifficultthatisforatoddlertofigureout?It’sokaytorunandshoutintheparkbutnotinthegrocerystore.Daddywantsyoutogetupinthemorning,butstayinyourbedatnight.Toddlersdoalotoftestingtolearnhowtobehave.Learningaboutstagesofdevelopmentcanhelpyousetgoalsforyourchildtolearnhowtobe-
have.First,thinkabouthowyouwouldlikeyourchildtobehaveinthefuture.Thisisthegoalyouwouldlikeyourchildtoachieve.Thenobservewhatsheactuallydoesindifferentplaces.Finally,developaplantoreachthegoalsyou’vesetbasedonyourchild’sindivid-ualtemperamentandstageofdevelopment.Continuingtoobserveyourchild’sprogresswillhelpyoudecidehowwellyourplanofactionisworking.
Yourtoddlerisjustlearningtounderstandandspeaklanguage.Hewon’tunderstandlongspeechesorverbaldirectionswithmanysteps.Sinceyourchildisn’ttalkingmuch,youcanunderstandwhatheisthinkingandfeelingbyobservinghim.Observationcanbethoughtofaslisteningwithallyoursenses.Watchyourchild.Lookathisbodylanguage.Listentonotonlyhisspeechbutothersoundshemakeslikesighs,gruntsorcries.Usegentletouchtocalmanddirecthim.Respondtoyourchildwithwords,facialexpressions,touchandbodylanguagetoassurehimyouaretryingtogethismessage.
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• Learnhowchildrendevelopsoyouwillunderstandhowyoumightexpectyourchildtobehave.It’seasytohaveunrealisticexpectationsifyoudon’tknowhowtoddlerstypicallybehave.
• Spendtimeeachdayobservingyourchildfromadistance.Quietlywatchheratplay.Whensheapproachesyou,don’tignoreher,butkeepinteractiontoaminimumsoshewillreturntowhatshewasdoing.
• Trytobeobjective.Ifyouarerecordingyourobservations,writeexactlywhatyousee.Itmightbehardnottoputajudgmentonwhatyourchilddoes,butyouwilllearnthemostifyouremainobjective.
• Whenyouobserve,giveyourchildtimetodemonstratehisbehavior.Unlessheisreallyindanger,don’trescuehim.Allowhimtimetosolvehisproblemshimself.Supporthimbytellinghimyouknowhecandoit.
• Thinkaboutwhatyouhaveseenyourchilddo.Youmaybesurprisedathowmanythingsyourchildiscapableofdoing.
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Observing and Knowing Your Child How-to’s12 to 24 Months
24 - 36 months
In a nutshell•Knowingyourchild’spersonalstyle,ortemperament,willhelpyousetuproutinesfor
himthatfithisnaturalrhythms.•Observeyourchildtoprovidechild-centeredlearning.•Parentsplayimportantrolesinnurturingtheirchild’sdevelopment.
About Observing and Knowing Your Child
fornational r cente
Youngchildrenneedroutines.Itistruethatsomechildrenadapttoroutineseasierthanothers.Observingyourchildandknowinghistemperamentwillhelpyousetuproutinesthatfithisnaturalrhythms.Two-year-oldsarejustbeginningtoexperiencetheworldout-sidetheirfamily.Knowingwhattoexpectcanmaketheworldmorepredictable.Routinesallowyourchildtoorganizehisthoughtsandexperiences.Whenheknowswhattoexpect,yourchildismorelikelytobehavethewayyouwanthimto.
Yourchildlearnsmoreeasilywhensheisin-terestedinwhatshe’sdoing.Observeyourchildwhilesheisplaying.Playisyourchild’swayoflearningmanythings.Whenyouwatchyourchildplay,youfindoutherinterests,heractivitylevel,andherlevelsofunderstandingandproblemsolving.Youcanthenintroducehertoactivitiesthatfitherpersonalstyle.Forexample,ifyouknowyourchildreallylikesplayingwithtoyanimals,choosebooksaboutpetstokeepherinterest.Showherhowtosort
herpettoysintogroups,perhapsthosethatarelargeversusthosethataresmall.Pretendwithherandherpets.Whenyoufocusonyourchild,youcanbesurethatherlearningischild-centered.
Youplayanimportantroleinnurturingyourchild’sdevelopment.Youarethedesignerofyourchild’senvironment.Youcanobservehowheinteractswiththeworldaroundhim.Youpro-videtoysandlearningexperiencesbasedonwhatyouobserveaboutyourchild’sinterestsandlearningstyle.Youarealsothepersonyourchildcangotolearnabouthisworld.Throughobservation,youwillknowjustwhentoprovidehelportogivehimtimetoworkthingsoutonhisown.Whenyouhaveconfidenceinyourchild,hewillgainconfidenceinhimself.Youarealsothefinalauthorityforyourchild.Yousetlim-itstokeephimsafeandtoprovideforhishealthandwell-being.Youarealsohisadvocate.Yourobservationsareimportanttoyourchild’shealthydevelopment.
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• Observeyourchild’spersonalstylewhenitcomestoroutines.Doeshefallasleepandwakeupeasilyataboutthesametime?Canyoupredictwhenhe’llneedasnack,ordoyouhavetorelyonsignsthathe’shungry?Somechildren’sbodiesareveryregular;othersdon’tseemtohavemuchofaninternalclock.Whenyouestablishroutinesforyourchild,buildonhisnaturalrhythmsifyoucan.
• Whencreatingaroutine,stickwithit.Somechildrentaketoroutineseasilyandrelyonthembeingthesamefromtimetotime.Withothers,parentshavetotryharderandlongertohelptheirchildgetintoaroutine.Thechildwhohasmoredifficultyfollowingaroutinemaybethechildwhoneedsitmost.Childrenneedroutines.Theyhelpthemfeelsafe.
• Two-year-oldsneedthepredictabilityofroutines.Theyalsoneedafew,consistentrules.Yourtwo-year-oldisdevelopingselfcontrol.Routinescanhelpherknowwhattoexpect.Knowingwhattoexpectcanhelphercontrolherbehavior.
• Beyourchild’splaypartner.Observeherinterestsandseewhatsheislearning.Followyourchild’sleadassheplays.Beapartnerwhocangiveherhints,guidanceandencouragementwhenshe’sworkingoutaproblem.You’llsoonlearnwhentohelpandwhentoletherworkitoutherself.
• Haveconfidenceinyourchild’sabilitytoguidehisownlearning.Lethimknowyoutrustinhisabilities.
• Giveyourchildonlyasmuchhelpassheneedstomovetothenextstepindevelopingaskill.Letherdeterminethetimingofherlearning.
• Giveyourchildyourattentionoften.Provideexperiencesthatsupporthislearning.Fieldtripsaregreatforthis.Youdon’thavetotakeyourchildtoexpensiveplacestohaveafieldtripexperience.Takeyourchildtothegrocerystoreandtalkaboutthefoodsyoueat.Whenyouincludeyourchildinyourdailyactivitiesyouarehisconsultantontheworld.
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Observing and Knowing Your Child How-to’s24 to 36 Months
young preschooler
In a nutshell•Asyourchildgrows,yourexpectationsforherbehaviorneedtochangetoo.•Youcanuseobservationtohelpyoumodelbehaviorsforyourchild.•Earlyfriendshipsareimportant.
About Observing and Knowing Your Child
fornational r cente
Leavingthetoddleryearsisabigmilestoneforyouandyourchild.Haveyounoticedhowmuchyourchildhaschangedfromjustafewmonthsago?Asyourchildgrows,yourexpec-tationsforhisbehaviorneedtochangetoo.Observingyourchildhelpsyouhaverealisticexpectations.Yourchildisphysicallybiggerandmorecapable.Hecanunderstandyouandtellyoualotusinghisgrowinglanguageskills.Butheisstillaveryyoungchild.Heneedsyourpatience,understandingandsupporttohelphimashelearnstocontrolhisbehavior.Whenyoucarefullyobservehim,youwillbeabletoseewhatyourchildcandoandwhereheisstilllearning.
Youngchildrenaregoodobserverstoo.Theylearnbyobservingtheirparentsandothersaroundthem.Modelbehaviorsyouwouldliketoseeinyourchild.Forexample,ifyouwouldlikeyourchildtoremovehisdinnerdishesfromthetableandcarrythemtothekitchen,dosowithyours.Youmightsaysomethinglike,“Inourfamily,weeachtakeourdishestothesink
afterdinner.”Childrenarenaturalimitators.Whenyouseeyourchilddoingwhatyoudo,tellher.Youdon’tneedtogivelavishpraiseorrewards.Justsaywhatyouseeandexpressthanks,“Youtookyourdishestothekitchen!Thankyou.”
Thefirsttruefriendshipsstarttoshowupinthepreschoolyears.Therearemanyreasonstoobservethisnewphaseinyourchild’ssocial-emotionaldevelopment.Earlyfriendshipsareimportant.Theyprovideopportunitiesforyourchildtolearntogetalongwithchildrenthesameage.Thereistrueaffectionbetweenyoungfriends,formingfoundationsforfuturerelationships.Aschildreninteractandplaytogethertheylearntonegotiateandtosolveproblems.Thismaynotalwaysbesmooth.Don’tintervenetooquicklyinyourchild’sstruggles.Letyourchildexperiencethechal-lenges,aswellasthejoys,ofgettingalongwithhisfriends.Heislearningsocialskillsthatwillbeimportantforhissuccessinschool.
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• Trytoobserveyourchildwithouthimknowing.Ifyouareworkingnearby,keeponeeartunedtowhatyourchildisdoingandsaying.Sitorstandoutofthewayandjustwatchorrecordwhatyourchilddoes.
• Beopenandreceptivetowhateveryourchildisshowingyou.Trynottointerruptyourchildtocorrecthimoraddtohisplay.Ifheapproachesyouandengagesyou,youcandecidewhetherornottojoinhiminplay,ordiverthimbacktowhathewasdoing.
• Beobjective.Concentrateonwhatyousee,notonplacingavaluejudgmentonyourchild’sbehavior.Practicesayingexactlywhatyouseesoyoucanreflectyourchild’sbehaviortohim.Forexample,ifheisbecomingfrustratedbecausehisblockskeepfallingdown,youcouldsay,“Iseeyouareworkinghardtobuildthattower.”Yourchildislearninghowtoproblemsolve.
• Concentrateonthebehaviorsyouwanttoobserve.Forexample,youmightwanttobetterunderstandhowyourchilduseslanguage.Soyouwouldfocusonthewordssheusesandunderstands.
• Noteyourinnerresponsestowhatyousee.Observingcanteachyoualotaboutyourselftoo.
• Beapositivemodelforyourchild.Whenyouwanttoteachyourchildsomethingnew,thinkhowyoucanmodelit.Usefewwords.Childrenlearnbestbyimitatingthosewhocareforthem.
• Don’tworryaboutbeingaperfectmodel.Yourchildwilllearnalotbyunderstandingthatyousometimesmakemistakesthatyouneedtocorrect.Andthatyouhavetocontrolyourtempertosolveproblems.
• Providechancesforyourchildtoformfriendships.Arrangeplaydateswithotherchildren.Letyourchildtaketheleadindecidingwhotoinvite.Justlikeadults,childrenhititoffbetterwithsomepeersthanwithothers.Makesuretherearetoysandactivitiesavailablesoeveryonehasachancetoplay.Observeyourchildandhisfriendfromcloseby.Givechildrenachancetoworkthingsoutforthemselves,butsupportthemiftheyarejustlearninghowtoplaytogether.
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Observing and Knowing Your Child How-to’sYoung Preschooler
older preschooler
In a nutshell•Watchingandlisteningwillhelpyoucommunicatewithyourchild.•Observetoguideyourchild’sbehavior.•Makerespectapartoffamilylife.
About Observing and Knowing Your Child
fornational r cente
Observationhelpsyoucommunicatewithyourchild.Whenyouwatchherplayandlistentohertalk(sometimeswithherselforwithimaginaryfriends),youmaylearnhowshethinks.Youngchildrenareveryconcreteintheirthinking.Theyinterprettheworldaroundthemjustastheyseeit.Theylearnaboutthingsbyexperiencingthem.Byobservingyourchild,youcantellifwhatyouaretryingtosayhasbeenheardandunderstoodasyouintended.Clearandaccuratecommunica-tionisessentialtoparentingpositively.
Observingyourchildwillhelpyouguidehisbehavior.Disciplinemeansteaching,notpun-ishment.Whenyouwatchyourchild,youcandecidewhatyouneedtoteachhim.Knowingwhatleadsuptoaproblembehaviorwillalso
helpyoudecidewhattodo.Animportantjobofparentingistoteachyourchildwaystodevelopself-controlandfosterpositiverela-tionships.Parentpositively,withoutangryfeel-ings,physicalpunishmentorshame.Naturalorlogicalconsequencesareoftenthetoolstohelpshapebehavior.Youaretheauthorityinyourchild’slife.Youcandothiswhilestillbeingrespectfultoyourchild.
Inordertolearntorespectothers,yourchildmustberespectedbytheadultsinherlife.Onewaytorespectyourchildistoknowherpersonalityandlikesanddislikes.Observeyourchildtolearnthesethingsabouther.Youarethenreadytorelatetoyourchildwithwarmthandtenderness.Childrenlearnbywatchingadults.
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• Questionsareanimportantpartofcommunication.Whenyouaskquestionsthatareclear,yourchildisbetterabletorespond.Askrealquestionsthathaveanswersyourchildcangivebacktoyou.
• Childrencanbeconfusedbyalotofquestionsatonetime.Askonequestionandgiveyourchildenoughtimeanswer.Youngchildrenarestilldevelopingtheirlanguageskills.Itmaytakeyourchildlongertorespondthanitwouldanadult.
• Listeningisatypeofobservation.Youcanlearnalotfromlisteningtoyourchild’sdevelopingspeech.Youngchildrenlovetopracticetheirnewwords.(Youmaywonderwhyyouweresoanxiousforyourchildtotalk!)Beanactivelistenerwhenyourchildtalkstoyou.Showyouarepayingattentionbyusingbodylanguage.Turnyourbodyinhisdirection.Focusonyourchild’sface.Repeatsomethingyourchildhassaidtoencouragehertocontinueandtochecktherealityofwhatsheistellingyou.Showyourchildyouhavereceivedhermessagebyresponding.
• Acceptthatyourchildmaynotlikeasituation,orhavefeelingsthatdifferfromyours.Thatisok.Setlimitsandsticktothem,butacknowledgethewaythathefeels.Whenyoustatewhatyouthinkyourchildfeelsbasedonyourobservations,youhelpyourchildgetpasthisfeelingsandthinkabouthisbehavior.Giveyourchildthechancetodisagreewiththefeelingsyouidentify.Hemaybefeelingsomethingdifferent.Youhaveshownhimthatyouarerespectinghisfeelings.
• Itisalwaysokaytofeelsomething,butitisnotalwaysacceptabletoactonthosefeelings.Thisistrueforbothchildrenandadults.Asparentswetoohavemanyfeelingssuchaslove,frustration,confusion,empowerment,anger,etc.Actonpositivefeelings,butdon’tignorethosethatarenotpositive.Findhealthywaystodealwithstressandanger.Strongfeelings—yoursandyourchild’s—won’tgoawayifignored.Beamodelforyourchild.Acknowledgeanddealwithyourfeelings.
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Observing and Knowing Your Child How-to’sOlder Preschooler