WOMANITY

LOVE &MARRIAGE

FELICIABUTHELEZI

A MAN'SPERSPECTIVE

PARENTINGAFTER

SEPERATION

Health &Fitness

RECLAIMYOUR

SUMMERBODY WITH

THE PHENOMENAL

WeddingGuide

10 TIPS TO CUTDOWN ONWEDDING

COSTS

LOVE THE CHILD YOU HAVE, NOT THE ONE YOU WISH YOU HAD

INSPIRING THE BEST VERSION OF YOU

CAREERPROFILE

SANDYGOVENDER

Beauty6 TIPS FOR

YOUR SUMMER

MAKE­UP

WWW.WOMANITY.CO.ZA

Issue 2 | R31,50 (VAT

Issue 2 | R31,50 (VAT

w. Inspiring the best version of you

Are you lookingat growing your brandAdvertiseWith UsNow

072 732 4670

info@blacktiemedia.co.za

www.womanity.co.zawww.blacktiemedia.co.za

CO

NT

EN

TS UPFRONT

6 Editor's Note

FASHION & BEAUTY16 Haircare11 Skin and Make­up29 Latest trends54 Benefits of water on your skin

INSPIRATION8 Cover Story ­ Margaret Hirsch40 Womanity Shero Raising a child with Autism46 Motivation ­ Run Your Race77 Inspiring Women68 Love and Marriage ­ Felicia Buthelezi42 A Man's Perspective

FAMILY & PARENTING23 Pregnancy26 Phrases Not To Say To Your Child

HEALTH & FITNESS56 Regain Your Summer Body ­ Mali Ramara21 Breast Cancer22 Nutrition

BUSINESS49 Money Matters18 Career & Leadership48 Entrepreneurship

LIFESTYLE67 Driving in Heels64 Travel & Leisure80 Book Talk50 Decor70 Wedding Guide

ISSUE2

c

c

c

c

4

WOMANITYBe The Best Version of You

Womanity is owned and published byBlack Tie Media and Communications (Pty) Ltd

CEO & chief EditorGugu Mpungose

editorialBrenda Van Rensberg

Tel072 732 4670

info@blacktiemedia.co.za

magazine websitewww.womanity.co.za

Company websitewww.blacktiemedia.co.za

Advertising enquiriesinfo@blacktiemedia.co.za

5

w.

towards attaining your set goals. This should help to encourage you to set that goal and to run with it.

It is also time for you to take stock of how the year treated you and to reflect. It’s very important to doso for progress in your life. If there are things that you didn’t plan better for, you’ll know about themand you will rectify them for the next season. In our motivation feature, we speak about the stepstowards attaining your set goals. This should help to encourage you to set that goal and to run with it.

The beginning of the year presents you with an opportunity to regroup, to rethink and to refocus. It’stime to work on those resolutions you’ve always had; putting together and placing a plan towardsachieving your dreams.

We decided to share some facts on this scourge as well as on Breast Cancer. i urge you to self educateyourself about these scourges. Please also take time to get yourself checked. Early detection is key tosuccessful treatment and cure.

We also cover some very interesting topics on parenting. Health and families are our passion.

We have some tips on how you can make your money go a long way in these tough economic times.

We also bring fabulous summer fashion, food, beauty tips and all that you need to be inspired with thismonth.

We appreciate your support and we are so happy to have you as a reader of Womanity Magazine. So sitback, relax and enjoy this read.

With warmest thanks,Gugu Mpungose

6

EDITOR'S NOTEgain we thank God for another

opportunitytoinspirethebestversion of you. With the prospect of

summer still on our doorsteps, it comes with awhole lot of excitement with the sun kisseddays and the festivities. It was a very long anda strenuous year. We hope time off didwonders for you.

It is also time for you to take stock of how theyear treated you and to reflect. It’s veryimportant to do so for progress in your life. Ifthere are things that you didn’t plan betterfor, you’ll know about them and you willrectify them for the next season. In ourmotivation feature, we speak about the steps

A

ThePHILANTROPHIC

Margaret Hirsch

Cover story

argaret Hirschis one of South Africa’smost prolific businesswomen, a

philanthropist, a celebrity chef, and a sought afterbusiness speaker.

Sitting there, and listening while she’s giving thelowdown on herself and her business endeavours,I’m thinking to myself, ‘Oh my what an amazingwoman!’

Hirsch (68), is a wife, a mother of two, and agrandmother to five grandsons. She has beenmarried for forty­six years (46). Her secret to ahappy and long­lasting marriage, she says is,

“We each give a hundred percent every singleday. If you don’t, the marriage dies.”

Margaret began her working life at the age oftwelve when her family was thrown in povertywhen her father died. She started work washinghair in a salon Margaret is now a co­founder andthe Chief Operating Officer of the appliance andelectronics retailer Hirsch's, which has twenty twobranches countrywide, and now, also includes theSamsung stores. “The Hirsch’s who we see todaystarted from humble beginnings. It started just as atiny repair shop,” says Margaret.

“When microwaves were introduced, we startedselling them. I realised that people didn’t know

how to use them. I then started hosting cookingclasses. I did this to teach domestic workers howto operate a microwave.”

“The hardest working and the lowest paid peopleare the domestic workers, and that is why we havetaken it into our hands to train them.”

Margaret is still involved in the day­to­dayrunning of their business; every weekday shetravels between Durban, Cape Town andJohannesburg. To my amazement Margaretdoesn't have an office. She sits at the desk on thefloor. She said in this way she can help withqueries and customer complaints.

When asked what it’s like to work with herhusband, Margaret smiled and said, “I’m lucky tohave a fabulous husband. We are one another’sbest friends. We know what each one does and werespect that.”

Margaret has transformed the lives of many, andcontinues to do so on various platforms. She hasgiven hope to the hopeless and she has believed inthose whom nobody else believed in.

“I’m inspired by people’s successes and my goal isto improve the lives of those around me, “ saysMargaret.

“Our goal is to improve ourselves and thelives of those around us.”

9

"If you help other peopleto get what they want;

you'll always get what youwant"

M

As the saying goes, ‘charity begins at home’. Margaret’sopen­handed works started with their Hirsch’s staff.

“In 1994 we made the decision to empower our drivers,we sold them their trucks at a low price, allowing themto pay us back over a long period of time. The rippleeffect from our business is that over 20 businesses havestarted up over the last 21 years, and these businessnow employ over 800 people…”

Among other things, Margaret runs the JohannesburgSchool for the Blind.

She has also had a school in Tanzania for two to sixyears. They provide painless circumcisions for youngerboys. Margaret also regularly visit school girlsthroughout South Africa to talk to the girls, she doestalks and hands out panty packs. Each pack containsone (1) panty and three (3) reusable sanitary pads thatwhich lasts for five (5) years.

This multitalented celebrity chef trains women how tocook and bake from the townships, not only as a skillbut to also establish their own businesses. “All I havegiven them is their self­esteem,” she says. “I’m inspired

about other people’s successes.”

Margaret also runs the Margaret Hirsch Women inBusiness Achiever of the Year Award. This is given tobusiness women in each of the areas in which Hirsch'soperate. Networking sessions are held in all theHirsch’s stores on the second Thursday of every month.Each month we nominate finalists in recognition oftheir achievements in the workplace. The awardswinners are then announced in Awards ceremonies thatare held in different cities.

She also runs an executive women’s club inJohannesburg as well called ‘Women of Worth’, whereshe gathers high profile women together to help others.

It is no wonder why this phenomenal woman, wouldhave bagged so many accolades. She has beenrecognized a number of times including two LifetimeAchievement Awards in business andentrepreneurship.

Margaret loves to teach the youth. She’s lookingforward to spending more time with them when sheretires.

In spite of all this hectic rush, she still finds time tostudy for her MBA – talk about true dedicationand inspiration!

“Youcan work for a

boss and make aliving, or you canwork for yourself

and earn afortune"

Beauty

As the temperature rises, the last thing that you wantis makeup that feels heavy; with smeared eyeliner,melting makeup and lipstick that looks sticky.

6BEAUTY TIPS TO KEEP YOU LOOKING FRESH AND

PRETTY IN THE HOT SUMMER WEATHER

13

Using a proper foundation on your face is just as important as the makeup that you apply to it. Using anoil­free moisturizer keeps your skin hydrated throughout the day, but without the extra oils. It is alsoimportant to choose the moisturizer that is labelled for your skin type for example normal, oily, dry etc.

Apply a primer after your moisturizer, and before you apply a foundation. Not only will this help to fill inthe open pores and the fine lines, but it will also help to keep your makeup in place on a hot, sweaty day.

Everyone looks better with a little warmth added to their skin. A bronzer not only gives you warmth, butit also makes your eyes look brighter and whiter. So, to keep your results looking fresh and natural, focuson applying it to the areas that the sun naturally touches like the forehead, the nose, the cheekbones andthe chin.

A shiny t­spot instantly spells out, “I’m hot”; not the sexy kind of hot though. Blotting papering areas are a must­have this summer. Simply press and go. If you need to perk up your makeup, blot first, then follow up with yourpressed powder.

FRESHEN&

GLAM

13

Apart from you wanting to look all summery, according to the experts,livelier colours brighten your face and give a youthful glow to the skin. So,now is the right time to play up your makeup pallet. If you tend to stick to theneutrals, start experimenting with one area of your face.

Rich, deep colours look heavy in summer. Lighten up your look bygoing for a sheer version of your usual lip and eye colours.

The good thing about sheer colours is that they are subtler – you canhardly go overboard with them.

16

HAIR & BEAUTY

How ToProtect

your hairfrom SUMMER

HEAT

17

PRE­SOAK YOUR HAIR BEFORE SPLASHING IN THE POOLIf you’re planning to splash in the pool, soak your hair in fresh water firstbefore you take a plunge. Hair can only absorb so much. This means that itwill not take in as much chlorinated or salt water.

LOVE YOUR CONDITIONERConditioning is key to keeping your hair healthy in the sun. While the sun isdrying out your hair, make sure that you help restore some moisture andsome life by using a rinse out conditioner.

DRINK A LOT OF WATERConsuming a lot of liquid in summer doesn’t only keep our bodies hydrated,but our hair and our scalp as well.

When you don’t get enough water for your skin cells, your skin cells willbegin to dry out, and this can cause itching, irritation and it can activelydamage your skin and make it more vulnerable to conditions like dandruff.

SUN PROTECTIONIf wearing a hat isn’t your friend, you can use a leave­in conditioner with SPF.You can apply sun protection directly onto your hair as well. Sometimes, thesame products you’re using for your body can work for your hair as well. Justwarm the product up between your hands, and then gently run your handsthrough your hair.

DON’T WASH YOUR HAIR TOO OFTENIn this hot sweaty weather, washing your hair everyday might seem just rightbut it is not recommended. Shampoo tends to dry out your scalp and yourhair even further. If your hair gets greasy and sweaty easily, then get a mildshampoo. A dry itchy scalp can be so irritating and it can result in dandruff.Ensure that your scalp is well moisturized by washing it once or twice a weekwith a moisturizing shampoo.

AVOID HEAT

The sun is already putting too much heat on your hair; go slow on the blowdryer, and if required wash your hair and air dry it.

COVER UP

Hats are your hair and your scalp’s best friends. When you’re out in the suncover up to shade your hair completely by blocking out the harsh UV rays.

STAY AWAY FROM TIGHT HAIRSTYLES

Ponytails and braids might seem just the thing for those summer parties. Ifyou pull your hair back too tightly it WILL break. Stick to these tips, use themin moderation and give your hair a break now and again.

Today, more and more businesses are embracing theconcept of mentoring as a professional developmenttool.

Through mentoring, organizations are seeing dramaticimprovements in efficiency, productivity and, ofcourse, the passing of institutional knowledge andleadership skills from one generation to the next.

WHAT IS MENTORINGMentoring is about listening without judgment andquestioning for clarification, and challenging forresults.

WHY MENTORING IS IMPORTANTMentoring is a tool that organizations can use tonurture and grow their people, and it’s gaining inpopularity. As organizations strive to retain hardearned experience and wisdom, they are turning tomentoring programs as a form of interpersonalknowledge management. Protégés observe, questionand explore, while mentors demonstrate, explain andmodel

HOW TO MAKE IT A SUCCESSMentoring is a joint venture. Successful mentoringrequires that both parties share responsibility for

learning and sustaining the relationship.

Successful mentoring begins with initiating therelationship, and then, designing the alliance. Allparties need to be clear about what this relationship isgoing to look like and how it will be managed.

BENEFITS OF WORKPLACE MENTORING­ Mentoring gives employees, both mentors andprotégés the opportunity to be better and moreproductive than either could be individually.

­ Mentoring provides an avenue for employees to findresources and answers to problems, to empoweremployees to resolve their problems themselves.

­ Mentoring programs provide an effective way toprovide a career growth path to your employees

­ Studies have shown that employees that participate inmentoring programs have a higher job satisfaction

Studies have shown that employees that are mentoredstay on the job longer than those that are left to sink orswim

MENTORING IN THE WORKPLACECAREER

About SandyShe is a deep, spiritual young woman. originally fromEshowe, KwaZulu­Natal

Her passions are her family, painting, playing tennis andspending quality time with her friends.

What is the one quality that describes you?I’m a caring person. When I asked my best friend how hewould describe me and he said a generous or a vibrantpersonality.

What inspires you?Making a difference in people’s lives by helping them togrow and to develop into the best people that they can be.

Take us through your career journey, where did it all startand where are you now?I started as an actuarial assistant where I was doingvaluations of pension funds and calculating individualtransfer benefits. From there, I slowly made my way up tomanage an actuarial team. Currently, I manage a businessunit where I provide strategic and leadership guidance tothe different functions reporting to me.

What is interesting is that in my earlier years it was thetechnical parts of my job that I enjoyed most, but now I

enjoy the leadership guidance part a lot more.

What made you choose this career path?My love of mathematics and problem solving.

What do you like most about your job?I get to interact with people, to help them grow and todevelop personally, as well as professionally.

How do you handle the pressure and the challenges thatcome with your job?I try to not take things personally at work. Life’s challengesdo help me build my mental resilience muscle. I have a fewtrusted people who I can “vent” with, and they help me seeclearly. It is also important to have a balanced life, so I findavenues to help to get rid of stress such as tennis, paintingand meditation.

What do you attribute to your success?Dedication, and pride in my work which comes with thehigh standards that I set for myself and a passion for what I

SANDYGOVENDERHead of Group

Insurance

Moment

CAREER PROFILING

Health & Nutrition

breakfast is often described as the most important meal of the day -but why

Apart from it being a nutritious way to start out your day, eating breakfast refuels your body, enhances yourmood, improves your concentration, helps you maintain a healthy weight, and is the foundation of a healthy diet.Eating a healthy breakfast can be quick and easy, and provide you with benefits that last the entire day.

People who eat breakfast regularly are more likely to consume a healthier diet overall

Nutritionists advise:­ breakfast should be eaten within two hours of waking­ a healthy breakfast should provide calories in the range of 20­35% of your guideline daily allowance (GDA).

Eating breakfast does not mean downing a cup of coffee and a doughnut.

The core of a healthy breakfast consist of whole grains, such as hot or cold cereals; a bran muffin; whole­wheatrolls or bagels; low­fat protein, such as peanut butter, lean meat, poultry, fish or hard boiled eggs; low­fat dairy,including skim milk, low­fat yogurt and low­fat cheeses; and fruit and vegetables, such as 100 percent juices,parfaits, smoothies and fresh or frozen fruit. Less healthy options such as sweet buns, fried eggs, sausage, deepfried cakes and soft drinks do not provide you with the lasting benefits of a healthy breakfast.

Apart from providing us with energy, breakfast foods are good sources of important nutrients such as calcium,iron and B vitamins as well as protein and fibre.

No, SeriouslyEAT BREAKFAST

CCaanncceerr hhaass iinnccrreeaassiinnggllyy bbeeccoommee ppaarrtt ooff oouurr eevveerryyddaayy lliiffee.. AAllmmoosstt eevveerryyoonnee kknnoowwss ooff ssoommeeoonneewwhhoo iiss aafffflliicctteedd.. SSttaattiissttiiccss ssaayyss tthhaatt oonnee iinn ttwweennttyy­­eeiigghhtt SSoouutthh AAffrriiccaann wwoommeenn wwiillll ddeevveelloopp

bbrreeaasstt ccaanncceerr dduurriinngg tthheeiirr lliiffeettiimmee.. WWee ttaakkee aa cclloosseerr llooookk aatt wwhhaatt yyoouu nneeeedd ttoo kknnooww aabboouutt tthheepprreevvaalleennccee ooff bbrreeaasstt ccaanncceerr..

1. Early detection is your secret weaponIf you note something irregular, you need to speak toyour doctor about it. The sooner that the disease isdiagnosed, the better your odds are of beating it. Youmust learn to give yourself a proper breast examinationmonthly; a week after your periods ends.

When detected early, Breast Cancer has up to 95%chances of successful treatment

2. Breast cancer can happen to any woman at any age.Although it is commonly prevalent in women aboveforty (40) it can also develop even in younger women.

3. What you eat can affect your cancer risksInactivity, obesity, smoking and alcohol can increaseyour chances of cancer. Start eating and living healthily.Make sure that you eat a diet filled with fruit andvegetables, low or medium fats, nutritious foods, andminimal amounts of animal proteins.

4. Breast Cancer is not only a woman's disease: Menare also at risk of developing breast cancer, but chancesare much slimmer at 1 in 794

4. A lump is not the only symptom of breast cancer.Some lumps develop due to blocked milk duct or evencycts. It is therefore s

5. The stages of breast cancerThe stages of breast cancer is determined by the cancer’scharacteristics, such as how large it is and whether it hashormone receptors or not. The stage of the cancer helpsto inform you and your doctor to:

• figure out your prognosis and the likely outcome ofthe disease;• decide on the best treatment options for you; and• determine if certain clinical trials may be a goodoption for you.

The breast cancer stage is usually expressed as anumber on a scale of 0 through to 4 — with stage 0describing non­invasive cancers that remain within theiroriginal location and stage 4 describing invasive cancersthat have spread outside the breast to other parts of thebody.

FACTS ABOUT BREAST CANCER

Pregnancy

Your Pregnancy

Itchiness during pregnancy is a fairly common condition. If it’s severe don’t ignore it, as itmight increase the risk of foetal distress, preterm birth or even stillbirth.

The most common condition that causes a mother’s skin to itch severely is known asIntrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy (ICP).

It is common in the last trimester, when hormones are at their peak. The cause isunknown, but it’s believed that pregnancy hormones affect the liver’s ability to transport

certain chemicals such as bile.

What are the signs to look for?

• Intense itching – particularly the hands and the feet.• Urine may be dark in colour.• Fatigue.• Loss of appetite.• Pale or light­coloured bowel movement.• Low mood or depression.• Less common symptoms include jaundice (yellow eyes or skin), nausea or pain.

Who is at risk?

• Women who are carrying twins or multiples.• Women who previously had liver damage.• Women who have a negative family history.

25

QUIT SAYINGthese to your

KIDS

Parenting

Imagine how great it would be if children were to come with a manual.Parenting is not an easy job. Parents make mistakes all the time. It’s

very easy to say things that would give children the wrong message orthe wrong idea, without even realizing it.

Saying these things below to our children can leave lasting damage. Parenting is all aboutraising whole and emotionally intelligent children.

This will help you to start becoming conscientious and more aware about the words that yousay to your children.Read some of the things below that you shouldn’t say to your children.

“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”Children do get upset enough to cry, especially toddlers, who can’t articulate their feelings withwords. They do get sad and frightened.

So, it is important to encourage them to express their emotions and not to bottle them up.

Empathizing doesn’t mean that you agree, just thatyou see it from their side too.

Instead of telling them to stop crying, rather say,“It’s okay to cry – everyone needs to let out theiremotions sometimes.Let me give you a hug.”

Children develop empathy by experiencing it fromothers.

“Why can’t you be more like your sister/brother?”It’s natural for parents to compare their children, tolook for a frame of reference about their milestonesor their behaviour, say experts. But saying suchwords can undermine your child’s self­confidence.

Instead, encourage her or his current achievements:“Wow, you put both arms in your coat all byyourself!” Or “Thanks for telling me that your diaperneeds changing.”

“Because I said so.”Young ones are very curious and active. No matterwhat you say to your child, it’s very important tolevel with them. It helps them to know that theirfeelings matter, and that you listen to them.

Try saying: “I know that you really want to visitGranny, but I have to do the laundry and I need yourhelp. How about you visit her tomorrow?”

“You know better than that.”Threats are usually as a result of parentalfrustrations. Avoid phrasing things as threats. Theyounger the child is, the longer it takes for a lesson tosink in.

“I’m proud of you.”I know that I’m guilty of this. The experts says thatyou shouldn’t simply give your child a blanketstatement of encouragement because, then the childfeels responsible for parental pride. Give thecredit where it belongs, rather say, “Good for you.”

“I’m so disappointed in you.”Often when these words are uttered, the child isalready feeling down. The first thought that goes onin his mind is that, “I have a loving standing inmy parent’s eyes, and I’ve let them down.”

When your child does something wrong, help themto find the right path without them feeling orthinking that they are a disappointment.

“If you eat all your dinner, you can have dessert.”I’m sure we’ve all had this one before. I know thatthe idea behind this is to motivate children to finisheating so that they can get their “reward”. It mightwork, but it sends a bad message to the child, thatthe other foods aren’t as good.

Try explaining to them how eating healthy food willmake them strong, and that when they are full, thatthey can then have dessert.

26

27

Wardrobe&

Fashion Tips

6 Wardrobe Tips1. Looking for an easy trick to makeyour bare legs look longer?

Try pumps the same color of your skin, whichgives give the illusion that your legs extend afew extra inches.

2. Hoop earrings

Hoops are a classic style that every woman—regardless ofage—should have, but the type depends on your face. Ifyou have a thin face, go for larger round or embellishedhoops. If you have a round face an elongated hoop or dropstyle is best.” —Elena Kiam, Creative Director,Lia Sophia

3. Empty Perfume Bottle

Wrap an empty bottle of your favorite perfumein a handkerchief and tuck it into your underweardrawer for a subtle scent.

4. Pile on good accessoriesscarves, sunglasses,hats, statement jewelry—to instantly transformeven the most basic outfit

5. Jean Size

When in doubt, always choose the smaller denim size,since jeans stretch with wear

6. Revamp an old coat

You can revamp your old coat by swapping out the buttonsand having a tailor replace the lining with something eye­catching, like a pattern or a bright color.

Gelato Hues are set to be everywhere this summer.Pastel pink, lemony yellow, baby blue and lilac; theseare the colours you are likely to see dominating theshops.

GELATO HUES

29

Pencil SkirtThis is an ultimate piece of

clothing that can flatter everykind of body shape. It gives

an illusion of height andcreates a perfect ladylike

silhouette.

31

Bucket Hats

Tassel up thisSummer

Tassels are back. Itacts as afluttering

Dark, selvedge, tailoreddenim

33

Slip Dresses

The humble slip dress has had something of anew­season makeover, and as result is looking

chicer and more fun than ever

36

The shorts are again onfashion podiums, and nowthey are firmly in position

37

the latest “It” bag isn’t defined by itsshape. Instead, its size is what sets itapart from the rest. Shrunk down to fit nomore than a phone and lipstick (if you’relucky).As a bonus, you definitely won’t have asore shoulder from toting around this

Bags

38

On the 15th March 2007, my Neurodevelopmentalpaediatrician confirmed my suspicions; my sondid indeed have Autism, says Nomsa Masoka.Coming from a medical background, I already hada diagnosis in mind, but I just neededconfirmation.

It was devastating., but not as much for me as itwas for my husband. I remember how I witnessedhim shedding a tear.

The journeyWhen I found out that I was pregnant, the newscouldn’t have arrived at a better time. Theexcitement exploded from us; even more so whenwe learnt that I was pregnant with a baby boy. Itbecame a cause for celebration. My partner and Iboth came from families of predominantly girls.

On 13 June 2004, I gave birth to a healthy bouncingbaby boy who weighed 3.3 kg. We named him,Bongumusa. What a perfect name for him! Itincluded both our names Bongani and Nomsa,and translated to “Thank God’s mercy.”

My son was healthy and developing normally. Iwas enjoying him. Giving birth to a healthy andbouncy baby is every mother’s dream, I figured. I

grew to love and to bond with him.

He was so full of life. At the age of one (1), he hadfully acquired all his developmental milestones.He was already saying a few words, sounds,singing and he was able to count.

The discoveryWhen he was round about eighteen (18) months,things changed. My son started getting fevers andrecurrent middle­ear infections. He started to loseinterest in people and in his toys. He started to actas if he was deaf when spoken to.

Every day he drifted further away from me –rejecting my touch, my hugs and my kisses. Istarted to wonder what was wrong with him orwith myself.

“The once vibrant little boy who used to fillmy life with so much joy and hope broughtme fear, hopelessness and helplessness.”

His behaviour seemed to deteriorate day by day. Ibegan to wonder what was to follow next, as hebecame more and more unpredictable.

I became anxious. Being an Audiologist byprofession, my initial thought was to get his earstested.

Love the childyou have,

not the one thatyou wish youhad had

Womanity SHERO

I became anxious. Being an Audiologist byprofession, my initial thought was to get his earstested.

We discovered that he had a middle ear infection.We went to so far as taking out his adenoids andputting in grommets. His behaviour deteriorateddrastically after the operation.

The challengesHe became clumsy when trying to feed himself. Hewould cry every time that I tried to put his t­shirton. He looked very anxious most of the time.

He started to find pleasure in meaningless stuff inlife. He would pick up a twig from a tree, and runaround with it, as if it were an aeroplane.

I didn’t know how to react to this kind ofbehaviour.

Those things which we take for granted, whichother normal developing children do, such aseating, dressing, playing, talking, interacting andother things become the greatest challenges whenraising a child with autism.

We went through days of him refusing to eatanything because of its colour, texture and tasteand other things, such as days of eating the samething for breakfast, lunch and supper, non­stop.Who cares when the label or the package of ayoghurt, crisps and or sweets changes?

But for a child living with autism this can be thegreatest stressor, as they are resistant to changes intheir environment and they want sameness in their

environment, and in most things that they do.

AnxietyI asked myself: ‘Is my son ever going to beeducated, independent, work or even get married?If I passed away or I and my husband passedaway, what would happen to him? How is thisgoing to affect his siblings?’

All these unanswered questions overwhelmed me.They created a feeling of despair. It was as if a partof me died the day I was told that he had autism.

But there was no time for me to break down. Ineeded to be strong for my son.

Dealing with itThe worst thing about this, is that there is noemotional support provided to parents, after adiagnosis of Autism. You just have to carry on anddo your best to help your child while you’rebreaking down.

Success storyMy son is fourteen (14) years old now. He is ahandsome, affectionate little man who loves tocook.My greatest lesson was for me to accept himwithout wanting to change him to become what Iexpected him to be. I embraced my situation. Hetaught me to love unconditionally.

I have become an advocate for other mothers toeducate the public about Autism, through mysupport group, MOCWA (Mothers of Childrenwith Autism).

40

Children are a gift from God. We all wish for anormal child but it's not all the time that we willget to have this and that does not mean God hasforsaken you. You have been trusted with a greaterresponsibility than some of us. Only because youcan.

God can never tempt you more than you can bear.Take heart and run the race that has been setbefore you. Know that you are not alone in this, He(God) is with you Put Him at the centre of it all

HERE ARE SOME TIPS ON HOW YOU CANCOPE WITH CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES

IT’S NORMAL TO FEEL HURTAdapting to a new circumstance is not easy. Youmay even blame yourself for your child’scondition, but take heart in knowing that it’snormal to grieve and feel hurt. Instead of focusingon your child’s disability, focus on what he or shecan do. Learn more about your child’s conditionand embolden yourself. After all, your child willneed you every step of the way.

DO NOT BECOME ISOLATED ANDWITHDRAWNIt’s normal to feel that way, but never allowyourself to become isolated and withdrawn to theextent where you become immobile or crippled.Confide in someone, you don’t have to go at italone. They might not fully comprehend thegravity of your situation, but if they’ve offeredhelp and support of their own volition, takeadvantage of it.

KEEP YOUR PERSONAL HEALTH IN CHECKCaring for a disabled child is debilitating. Whileyou’re up and about tending to that child, youmight neglect your entire health. A vehicle mustrefuel to move from one location to the next. Yourhealth is no exception. Get sufficient rest, exercisewhen possible, eat appropriately, and smile whenyou can. Your strength will be needed to properlycare for your disabled child.

Rearing children with special needs is nothingcasual. It devitalizes the mind and body. You canactually feed your special needs child with somuch attention that you forget about everythingelse, including your responsibility to your otherhealthy children.

Your other children might feel neglected, in somecases, jealous. Especially if you’re married, yourmarriage might suffer a terrible blow. If you findthat you’re actually neglecting your children orspouse, there’s still time to catch on. Why notspend time planning and engaging in activitiesthat other members of the family find refreshing?

Try These Tactics to Improve CommunicationWhen interacting with your child with specialneeds, here are a few strategies to consider:­ Direct eye contact.­ Keep your language simple; short sentences.­ Use gestures, facial expressions, and signs toaccompany your speech.­ If they hesitate to answer or respond, allow themtime.­ Be an avid listener.

WOMANITY INSPIRATION

CO­PARENTING AFTER ADIVORCE OR A SEPERATION

Divorce and separation are a reality for millions of

families. Often, fathers acquire the status of a second­

class parent after the split.

Most separated or divorced couples have encountered

difficulties when it comes to having access to their

children post­divorce or during separation, which

leaves them feeling disgruntled.

“I felt as if I could not be a parent to these children

anymore. Everything that I had with them fell apart.”

“I really just want to be there for my child, I don’t want

her growing up and thinking that I had rejected her.”

“I want to do more for and with my child.“

Divorce and separation is traumatic and it is hard on

men as well; not to mention the children. Imagine how

difficult it must be for them, one minute ago they had

this ideal family with both a Mom and a Dad and

suddenly, Dad is not there anymore.

While more and more men are stepping up; as they

want to have a meaningful relationship with their

children, but it distresses them out when they try to

reach out to their children and they often encounter

difficulties such as

­ The children become pawns in an adult game that can

become so bitter that a parent is denied contact with

his/her children without any thought as to how the

children might feel.

­ Their ex speaks badly about them around the children,

which results in the children to have a negative attitude

or to become disrespectful towards them.

Fathers have an equal legal right to their children.

Sometimes, as a parent, you need to put your child’s

needs before your own. It is possible for you to

overcome co­parenting challenges and develop a

cordial working relationship with your ex

BENEFITS OF CO­PARENTING FOR YOUR CHILD

Feel secure. When confident of the love of both parents,

kids adjust more quickly and easily to divorce and new

living situations, and have better self­esteem.

Benefit from consistency. Co­parenting fosters similar

rules, discipline, and rewards between households, so

children know what to expect, and what’s expected of

them.

Better understand problem solving. Children who see

their parents continuing to work together are more

likely to learn how to effectively and peacefully solve

problems themselves.

Have a healthy example to follow. By cooperating with

the other parent, you are establishing a life pattern your

children can carry into the future to build and maintain

stronger relationships.

Are mentally and emotionally healthier. Children

exposed to conflict between coparents are more likely to

develop issues such as depression, anxiety, or ADHD.

Love your children enough so as to allow them to be

whole beings. Your children need both parents.

“I was a very hands on father to my children. I would drop them off at schoolevery morning and on the way we’d have our sing along. When I arrived backhome from work, I knew that I had homework or study sessions to help themwith. We had an hour session every evening to watch a family show on TVtogether after the homework was done. We used this as one of our familybonding sessions. On Saturdays, we’d take a walk to a biltong shop. We endedup calling them biltong walks. We’d play and do activities.”

TIPS FOR EFFECTIVE CO­PARENTING

1.SET HURT AND ANGER ASIDE

Successful co­parenting means that your own emotions—any anger, resentment, or hurt—musttake a back seat to the needs of your children

2. DON'T PUT YOUR CHILDREN IN THE MIDDLE

Never say negative things about your ex to your children, or make them feel like they have tochoose. Your child has a right to a relationship with their other parent that is free of yourinfluence.

3. LISTEN

Communicating with maturity starts with listening. Even if you end up disagreeing with theother parent, you should at least be able to convey to your ex that you’ve understood their pointof view. And listening does not signify approval, so you won’t lose anything by allowing yourex to voice his or her opinions

4. DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

If you disagree about important issues like a choice for your child's school, by all means keep thediscussion going. But if you want your child in bed by 7:30 and your ex says 8:00, let it go andsave your energy for the bigger issues.

5. RESPECT

Simple manners should be the foundation for co­parenting

IS A RACE"Do you not know that lin a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."

1 Corinthians 9:24

Running! It was never my thing. To my surprise I now enjoy it. I look forward to race days. My last race was likeno other as we had to park and walk to the starting point, I ended up reaching the starting point slightly late.

As I raced my way to the finish line, I began to observe and to note the important lessons towards achieving goals.I then realised that the principles for running a race and your “life race” are exactly the same.

WOMANITY MOTIVATION

46

FIND YOUR WHYThere are thousands of people in the same race as you.You’re all heading in the same direction, you may evenall be wearing the same gear! Yes! the goal is the same ­you all want to reach the finish line, but WHY?

This is what sets you apart from the next person. Someare doing it just for fun, others to lose weight, others toimprove their running time, and so forth. So, youcannot do what others are doing, as your WHY is notthe same as theirs. Do what you believe will give youyour desired outcomes.

STARTYou’ve set goals for yourself and you keep onprocrastinating, as you feel that it is not the right time. Icould have decided not to run the race as I was alreadylate.

Start! That’s all you need to do. It doesn’t matter when,but start! If you don’t have a good start, it doesn’t meana bad ending. It’s rather about what you do along thejourney that determines how you will finish.

FIND YOUR RHYTHMOne thing I learnt was to pace myself. You know whereyou’re going and you know how much time you haveto achieve your goal. Pace yourself accordingly. Createa plan. Set your daily targets. Days are not the same. Ifyou have a plan, you’ll know where you slacked­off,and you must plan to catch up again from there.

RECHARGEEach race has a designated recharging station. After thatsplash of water on your face and that sip of a cool drink,you will feel rejuvenated.Life is no exception. As youcreate your plan, don’t forget to include some time foryou to recharge. It’s important! When you come back,your outlook on things will change. Your ability to

make decisions will be much quicker and even better.

CHEERLEADERSWho doesn’t like the sound of the cheerleaders? I meanit pumps you­up even more. You want to reach thefinish line now!

The truth is, it’s not on all occasions that you will havesomeone to cheer you on. Learn to be your owncheerleader.

DESTRUCTIONSLike anything else, destruction is all over. The key is toknow your WHY! Ignore them and press on. The clockis ticking. If you happen to stumble, pick yourself upand get back on track.

ENDURANCEThe journey that is set before you is not an easy one.You will encounter difficulties, sometimes you willregret why you even started. You might even want toquit. This is all to test your endurance. No pain, no gain.Success doesn’t come easy. The size of what you enduredetermines the size of your success.

When all else fails, find your strength in the greaterpower. I find that when I say a short prayer in the midstof my difficulties that my strength is renewed.

THE FINISH LINENo amount of gratitude equates with the feeling thatyou have when you cross the finish line. All the painand the discomfort becomes worth it. The medal is justa bonus.

I don’t know what kind of race you are running in yourlife, but the principles are the same. Apply them andyou’ll see yourself crossing the finish line in no time.

You need to have a different message­ a different brandthat your target audience can connect to. Being differentisn’t just about, well, being different. It’s about having avalue­adding differentiator that truly makes yourcompany special. In other words, you need a uniqueselling point.

You can begin by asking yourself some questions:­ What could we do that no one in our industry isdoing?­ What is the greatest frustration of our ideal customers?­ Are there innovations in other industries we couldadopt?­ Are there unique ways to package, price or deliver ourproducts and services?­ How could we create a totally unique customerexperience?­ What would make my business stand out?­ Why should somebody use my services or hire me?­ How can I become the best at something no one else isattempting?How can I help my customers in a way that is rare anddifferent?What offer can I make to overcome a commonfrustration?

ONCE THAT IS DONE, THEN YOU CAN FOLLOW THE FIVE

FOLLOWING STEPS

1. List the features and benefits that are unique aboutyour product or service.Do a Google search and compare your features andbenefits with your direct competitors. Identify thebenefits what sets you apart.

2. Decide what emotional need is being specificallymet by your product or service.Think about this from your customer's perspective andadd it to your list.

3. Identify aspects of your product or service that yourcompetitors cannot imitate.Put a star beside anything that cannot be easilyduplicated, reproduced, or copied.

4. Create phrases about your unique product or servicethat are short, clear, and concise.Use the words from steps 1­3 that you singled out. Besure they can be easily communicated to andunderstood by your customers.

5. Answering your customer's primary question:"What's in it for me?"Make it to the point and state it as a benefit to thecustomer. Such as:

Domino's Pizza: "You get fresh, hot pizza delivered toyour door in 30­minutes or less…or it's free."

Finding Your UNIQUE SELLING PROPOSITION (USP)

If you say you provide quality services or that you offer the best customer service, that’s not enough. Everyonesays that! Better is only better if you’re different. But keep in mind that being different for different’s sake is notenough. That difference must be of value and speak specifically to your customers

48

TRACK YOUR SPENDINGThis will help you to identify your poor spendingchoices. You will be able to identify the areas whereyou need to cut down, and save a few cents.

REDUCE YOUR EXPENSESTake a look at your monthly bills. Check if there’sanything that you can eliminate. Negotiate a betterinterest rate from your bank, and see if you cannotobtain a better interest rate from other competitors.

BE A SAVVY SHOPPERLook for the best deals on the items that you need.Stock up on brands that are on special offer. Buygeneric label groceries and avoid buying things thatyou don’t need.

BUDGETTell your money where to go!

FINANCIAL CUSHIONStop living from pay cheque to pay cheque. Simplifyyour life. Put money aside and start saving so as tohave a cushion against potential future cash flowproblems.

AVOID CREDITYou are probably are tempted to apply for a loan tosurvive the tough times. Don’t! It will get you intoeven more debt. You’ll pay a very high interest. If youalready have a loan, avoid buying unnecessary things,even if you can afford to pay the loan. What if the

situation changes?

START WORKING ON PLAN BIf you feel that your income is not enough for yourneeds anymore, then it is time you considered plan B.Update your resume and start looking elsewhere, orconsider starting a home­based business.

IMPLEMENT THE “SLEEP ON IT” RULEAllow yourself some breathing room to evaluate yourdesire for purchasing against your better judgement,your values and your budget. Decide that for anypurchase over a certain amount, that you’ll sleep on it.

That may take you a week, a month or whatever. Thekey is to buy only the things that you really need, and ifyou really need it, it will give you time to plan and tosave for it.

8 WAYS TO SURVIVE A CREDIT CRUNCH

With the continuous rise of the petrol price and the unstable economy,tough economic times are looming if they are not already here. You find ithard to survive. Being financially fit is important for your health and for

your sanity.

Lavendercalms the nerves

and allows relaxation

Lavender is associated with

luxury and creativity.

It bring a restful quality, but without the

risk of feeling chilly.

If you use it as an accent or secondary

colour, it gives a scheme depth.

The nuances of velvety blue­violetgive a very elegant look. When thisdeep hue is combined with light­colored furniture and ebony woodfloors, as shown here, you can turn aninformal space.

Dinning RoomPicking the perfect colour for your dining area is a key aspect that enhances the beautyof your luxury furniture, and will provocatively give life to the entire room.

Charcoal Gray, his tone evokeseverything that is power, richness, andboldness. Combined with goldelements creates the most audaciousambiance.

“Fewer

pendants over islands

because of the clutter, recessed

lighting, which seems to fade

into the ceiling is the

preferred choice.”

Integral pulls

on cabinet doors are

becoming more

common

Kitchen Trends

You may not be blessed witha huge outdoor space but that’snot to say you can’t be creative

with what you do have.Small gardens have a lot more

potential than you realize.

SMALL GARDEN/BACKYARD IDEAS

If you haven’t already climbed on board the water train, start now! Water has long been laudedfor its health benefits. Water doesn’t just aid in keeping your body hydrated, it aids in digestionand the circulation of nutrition’s. Water is also good for your skin.

BENEFITSOF

WATER ON YOUR SKIN

• To keep your skin soft and to increase elasticity.

• To prevent ageing. It can delay the appearance of aging signs such as wrinkles and fine lines.

• To flush out toxins, to keep pimples and acne at bay. Keeping your skin hydrated will combat skin

disorders, as it will increase your metabolic rate and also improve your digestive system. Thus, toxins

will be flushed out of your body, leaving your skin healthy, clear and glowing.

• To prevent the sagging of skin. When you shed fat, your skin sags. Drinking adequate water will

tighten your skin and will give you a perfect glow.

• To maintain the pH balance of your skin. The pH of the skin refers to how acidic or alkaline it is. The

optimal level is 5.5, on the scale of 1­14, 1 being the most acidic and 14 being the most alkaline. So,

drinking enough water gives you a healthy skin.

• You can also reduce the puffiness around your eyes and to keep your eyes sparkling and clear by

consuming enough water.

• If your nails tend to constantly break and peel, it is a sign that your body is dehydrated. Start drinking

more water to promote nail growth and to prevent flaky cuticles.

MY JOURNEY TO WEIGHTLOSS

For two years she gave lots of reasons why she could notexercise and eat healthy. Reasons ranging from "i don'thave enough money to join the gym," "i don't have enoughmoney to buy healthy food," "what if i start exercising andLupus flares up again" ..

Mali decided to exercise for ten minutes (10) whilewatching television and ate whatever was clean andhealthy and affordable.

Mali exercises one­two hours (1­2) a day inside her room oroutside, resulting in her loosing weight. Being elected to thetop ten (10) Women’s Health Next Fitness Star Competitionhas given Mali the platform to pursue her goal to empowerher clients to find out what works for them with exerciseand nutrition.

RECLAIMING YOUR SUMMER BODY

With Mali Ramara

Mali is a nutritionist and a fitness and yogainstructor. She has been in the fitness industry forover twenty (20) years, as a Yogaflex andActionyoga, Mind Body Nutrition Coach. It allstarted in 1998 when I was an Aqua Aerobicsinstructor at Planet Fitness, which developed intomy becoming a private swimming instructor.

Before getting into fitness, I had tried a fewbusiness ventures, which did not work. When thefitness bug got me, I vowed that I wasn’t going toleave the industry.

It was so until I was diagnosed with Brain Lupusin 2013, which had me down for over eight years. Ibecame depressed and put on fifteen kilograms(15kg).

"My lifechanged after that

experience, andthat’s how my social

media businessstarted."

HOW TO RECLAIM YOUR SUMMERBODY?• Every morning and night, visualize yourself in thesituation you desire. If your goal is to lose weight,visualize yourself as lean, fit, full of vitality and withboundless energy• Spring clean your cupboards and remove all the not sogood food items – it is undeniable that clean eating isthe first step to losing weight. Fill your cupboard athome and work with proper nutritious food I evenhave my healthy low budget meal ideas that I share onFacebook, to encourage my followers.• Put pressure on yourself. Share your goals withpeople who will always remind you to stick to yourgoal.• Consult your doctor for assessments.• Attach time­lines. For example, tell yourself that youare going to reach your desired weight in 3­6 months.• Create a routine for yourself.• Start with the exercises that you love. It’s easy to stickto what you love. Don’t rush into it though; start slowly.

EXERCISES TO DO IN THE COMFORT OFYOUR HOME

You need to incorporate exercises for cardio, strengthand flexibility.

CARDIO: jumping jacks, jog or run on the spot, kneelifts and bum kicks.STRENGTH: leg and bum, squats, lunges, push ups,triceps dips, resistant band, dumbbells etc.FLEXIBILITY: whole body stretch: hamstring, chest,curves, quads and upper body stretch.

MY SUCCESS STORIESThe recent one, is coaching a lady using messenger asshe had had a stroke. Through my Actionyoga coaching,I helped her. Even though she hasn’t completelyrecovered, her situation has improved a lot.

''Myadvice for

someone who keepsfalling back would be; findout what is it that keeps oncausing you to fall back, dosomething about it and then

go back to your initialmotivation.''

58

Snegugu Mdlalose, twenty­one (21). She was born andbred in Umlazi in Kwa­Zulu Natal, and is currently doinga culinary internship at the Greenbrier Hotel and Resort inthe United States of America.

“Growing up, I didn’t have everything; being raised by asingleparent,."

This young and ambitious lady started working while shewas still studying. “I decided to volunteer in restaurantsso that I could accustom myself to the industry and togather experience so that I didn’t have problems aftergraduation,” says Sinegugu.

Amongst other places she volunteered at, we mention TheCargo Hold in Ushaka MarineWorld, as well as TheDurban International Convention Centre (ICC), where shesaid she had worked a sixteen hours (16) straight shift, andafter that shift, she still had to get home and study.

“When I was offered the opportunity to work in theUnited States of America, I had mixed feelings. I wasexcited but at the same time I was worried about leavingmy family behind. I was also worried about the Americanculture and the food, but then it dawned on me that life isall about taking risks. I then accepted the offer.”

“It all started in 2016, when I discovered my love for foodand for the arts. However, I must say that I had difficultiesin trying to convince my family, as they viewed chefs aslower working class or as uneducated people.”

“It only needs someone to understand that being a chef isall about a passion and a love for food.”

Message to young women: “Never be apologetic for beinga young powerful and determined person. Don’t be afraidto dream and to have goals. "

When asked what it’s like in the Hospitality industry inthe United States of America she said: “Here I get toexplore different cuisines. The cooking styles differ.

“My most unforgettable experience was when my teamwas given an opportunity to prepare a meal for thePresident of the United States of America, when he wasvisiting the Greenbrier Hotel and Resort. I felt reallyhonoured.”

"The love thatI have for food is unlimited –

it has led me to become a slave tothe stove and a strong critic in every

restaurant that I dine in.”

SNEGUGU, AND HERCOOKING UP A STORMIN THE UNITED STATES

OF AMERICA

“I believe that every meal should be anoccasion.”

RECIPES

Rack of Lamb with Garlic andHerbs

INGREDIENTSFor lamb2 (8­rib) frenched racks of lamb (each rack 1 1/2 lb),trimmed of all but a thin layer of fat1 1/2 teaspoons salt3/4 teaspoon black pepper1 teaspoon vegetable oil

FOR HERB COATING1/2 head new garlic or 3 large regular garlic cloves,minced1/4 cup finely chopped fresh flat­leaf parsley1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh thyme2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh rosemary1/2 teaspoon salt1/2 teaspoon black pepper1 1/2 tablespoons extra­virgin olive oilSpecial Equipmentan instant­read thermometer

PREPARATIONBrown lamb:­ Heat a dry 12­inch heavy skillet over high heat untilhot, at least 2 minutes. Meanwhile, pat lamb dry andrub meat all over with salt and pepper. Add oil to hotskillet, then brown racks, in 2 batches if necessary, onall sides (not ends), about 10 minutes per batch.­ Transfer racks to a small (13­ by 9­inch) roasting pan.

Coat and roast lamb:Put oven rack in middle position and preheatoven to 350°F.

Stir together garlic, herbs, salt, pepper, and oil.Coat meaty parts of lamb with herb mixture,pressing to help adhere. Roast 15 minutes,then cover lamb loosely with foil and roast untilthermometer inserted diagonally into center ofmeat registers 120°F, 5 to 10 minutes more.

Let stand, covered, 10 minutes. (Internaltemperature will rise to 125 to 130°F formedium­rare while lamb stands.)

Cut each rack into 4 double chops.

BACON CHEDDAR POPOVERS

INGREDIENTS1 cup all­purpose flour

1∕8 teaspoon salt

2 eggs

1 cup milk

3∕4 cup shredded sharp cheddar

cheese

4 slices bacon, cooked & crumbled

2 scallions, trimmed & chopped (I

subbed with minced sweet onions)

METHOD1. Coat 8 cups of a popover/muffinpan with non­stick spray. Be sure tofill empty cups with water to avoidburning pan. Pre­heat oven to450°F.2. Whisk flour and salt together in amixing bowl. In a separate bowl,whisk the eggs and milk together.Add to the flour mixture and stiruntil blended. Fold in cheese, baconand scallion.3. Fill popover/muffin cups 3/4 full(approx. 1/3 cup batter in each).Bake at 450° for 15 minutes. Reduceoven temperature to 350° and bakean additional 10 to 15 minutes, oruntil browned and puffed. ***Keepoven closed until the end of bakingtime or else the popovers will

deflate..4. Remove popovers from the oven.Immediately remove popovers frompan to cool. Pierce sides once with aknife to release steam.5. Serve warm. (Re­heat at 350° for 5minutes to crisp the outside edges,if needed.).

IRISH CREAM BUNDT CAKE

INGREDIENTS

1 cup chopped pecans

1 (18.25 ounce) package yellow cake mix

1 (3.4 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix

4 eggs

1/4 cup water

1/2 cup vegetable oil

3/4 cup Irish cream liqueur

1/2 cup butter

1/4 cup water

1 cup white sugar

1/4 cup Irish cream liqueur

METHOD

Prep 15 m | Cook 1 h | Ready In 1 h 30 m

­ Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease

and flour a 10 inch Bundt pan. Sprinkle chopped nuts

evenly over bottom of pan.

­ In a large bowl, combine cake mix and pudding mix. ­

Mix in eggs, 1/4 cup water, 1/2 cup oil and 3/4 cup ­

Irish cream liqueur. Beat for 5 minutes at high speed. ­

Pour batter over nuts in pan.

­ Bake in the preheated oven for 60 minutes, or until a

toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean. Cool

for 10 minutes in the pan, then invert onto the serving

dish. Prick top and sides of cake. Spoon glaze over top

and brush onto sides of cake. Allow to absorb glaze

repeat until all glaze is used up.

­ To make the glaze: In a saucepan, combine butter, 1/4

cup water and 1 cup sugar. Bring to a boil and continue

boiling for 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from

heat and stir in 1/4 cup Irish cream.

Recipe By:Cindy Catudal Shank

STRAWBERRY PANNA COTTA

INGREDIENTS

1/2 packet (1 teaspoon) unflavoured gelatine

powder

1 1/2 tablespoons cold water

1 1/2 cups heavy cream, divided

1 cup plain whole­milk yogurt

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/2 vanilla bean, split and seeds scraped

1/3 cup sugar, plus 1 tablespoon

2 pints (4 cups) sliced fresh strawberries

2 1/2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

1 tablespoon sugar

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Freshly grated lemon zest, for serving

DIRECTIONS

­ In a small bowl, sprinkle the gelatine on 1 1/2

tablespoons of cold water. Stir and set aside for 10

minutes to allow the gelatine to dissolve.

­ Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, whisk together 3/4

cup of the cream, the yogurt, vanilla extract, and vanilla

bean seeds. Heat the remaining 3/4 cup of cream and

the 1/3 cup of sugar in a small saucepan and bring to a

simmer over medium heat. Off the heat, add the

softened gelatine to the hot cream and stir to dissolve.

Pour the hot cream­gelatine mixture into the cold

cream­yogurt mixture and stir to combine. Pour into 4

(6 to 8­ounce) ramekins or custard cups and refrigerate

uncovered until cold. When the panna cottas are

thoroughly chilled, cover with plastic wrap and

refrigerate overnight.

­ Combine the strawberries, balsamic vinegar, 1

tablespoon sugar, and pepper 30 minutes to 1 hour

before serving. Set aside at room temperature.

­ To serve, run a small knife around each dessert in the

ramekin and dip the bottom of each ramekin quickly in

a bowl of hot tap water. Invert each ramekin onto a

dessert plate and surround the panna cotta with

strawberries.

­ Dust lightly with freshly grated lemon zest and serve.

Lemony Fruit Cooler

Makes 2­1/2 quarts

INGREDIENTS

1/2 cup sugar1/2 cup lemon juice4 cups cold white grape juice1 liter club soda, chilled1 medium orange, halved and sliced1/2 cup sliced strawberries1/2 cup sliced fresh peachesIce cubes, optional

DIRECTIONS

In a punch bowl or pitcher, mix sugar and lemon juice until sugar is dissolved. Stirin grape juice.To serve, stir in club soda and fruit. If desired, serve with ice.

SINGAPORE

It is a place where foodies, collectors, culture shapers,action seekers explorers and socialisers meet

Singapore is the largest port in Southeast Asia and one of the busiest in the world.

The population of Singapore is diverse, the result of considerable past immigration. Chinesepredominate, making up some three­fourths of the total. Malays are the next largest ethnic group,and Indians the third. None of those three major communities is homogeneous.

November to June has a definable high season. It combines the winter travellers, numerousholiday festivals (Chinese New Year being the big one), as well as business travellers.

February to April are reckoned to be the quiet months when it’s pleasant to visit. These are themonths between summer and winter. It is less wet, so plenty of outdoor activities are available.

November to January are the wettest months andthe hottest months are May and June.

Travel around July to October to enjoy a slightbreak from the tourist traffic. This is during theirlate summer and their early fall.

KEY EVENTSThe Great Singapore Sale from June to August;The Singapore Food Festival from July to August;The Hungry Ghost Festival in August;National Day in August;The Mid­Autumn Festival in September; andThe Grand Prix Singapore in September.

SINGAPOREAN CUISINEBecause of Singapore's history as a seaport with alarge immigrant population, their cuisine isdiverse and contains elements derived fromseveral ethnic groups.

Influences include the cuisines of the nativeMalays, the largest ethnic group, the Chinese andthe third largest ethnic group, the Indians.

FOOD IDEAS TO INDULGE ON WHILESINGAPORE

Kaya toast & Soft boiled egg, this is the oneand only Singaporean breakfast.

Crabs, Enjoy your crab with either a sweet,spicytomato­ish chilly sauce or with a black pepper

Fish Head head of a red snapper is stewed in currywith assorted vegetables like lady’s finger (okra) andbrinjal (aubergine). You can either have the Indian­style of curry which has heavier spices and flavours,or the Chinese­style which is lighter and sweeter.

Tau Huay, this is a Chinese dessert made withbeancurd tofu that is sweetened with sugar syrup

FLIGHTS AND PRICESThe duration of the non­stop flight fromJohannesburg to Singapore is ten hours andtwenty­five minutes.Flights are priced from R9857.

SINGAPORE TRAVEL TIPSUse your right hand when interacting,specifically when greeting, waving or eating.Don’t use your left as it is culturally associatedwith the bathroom.

Use the Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) system,Singapore’s public transit system, to save money,it is clean, it is timely and it is cheap.

66

READ TERMS AND CONDITIONSThe customer has not been informed by the dealer or has NOT read their warranty terms and conditions. Thisspecifically relates to the fact that a vehicle needs to be serviced within the first month or 1000kms of receipt ofvehicle, if its service is due (this often applies to second­hand vehicles

CHECK IF THE VEHICLE WAS SERVICEDCheck the service history of the vehicle you intend on purchasing. Is it due for its next service? If so, try andarrange that the dealer competes the service, after all, they are selling you a warranty

YOUR WARRANTY COULD BE INVALID IF YOU REPLACE PARTS YOURSELFYou cannot do perform your own oil change, even though you might have read that it's a good way to reduce costsThis must be done by an approved service provider or your warranty could be invalid.

HE DEALER/WORKSHOP MIGHT NOT COVER THE FULL AMOUNTWarranties are there to “assist” if your vehicle has a mechanical breakdown. In other words, chances are, yourclaim amount for the replacement part and associated labour cost will be considered and either

paid in full (this rarely occurs) or a contribution to the amount will be made.

You can only claim for one incident at a timeIf you are claiming for CV joints, you cannot claim for an airflowmetre. Unless these are components, dependent of each other for operation, you cannot claim for them together.

12 THINGS THAT CAN VOID YOUR CARWARRANTY

A WARRANTY ISN'T A MAINTENANCEPOLICYA warranty claim is an “assurance” in the event ofmechanical failure. It’s not a maintenance policy. If yourequire this, you have to purchase a maintenance

SERVICE INTERVALS VARYService intervals vary, so ensure you read yourconditions in order to safeguard yourself. Somewarranties require a vehicle to be serviced every 10 000to 15 000km or 12 months, whichever comes first

SALVAGE TITLEif your car was in a severe accident and was given asalvage title or declared a total loss, your entirewarranty is voided.

ENSURE DECENT QUALITY FLUIDS ANDSPARE PARTS ARE USED FOR PERFORMINGCAR SERVICE OR REPAIRUsing substandard parts and products in the guise oforiginal parts and products may lead to reduced vehicleperformance. Worse still, substandard parts are likely tofail much sooner than expected. This will not onlyincrease the frequency of car breakdowns but also leadto invalidation of your new car warranty.

ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGEif your vehicle was damaged in a fire, flood, earthquakeor any other environmental disaster.

MISUSE OF THE VEHICLEincluding racing/competition of any type, overloadingthe vehicle or off­roading.

COULD MODIFICATIONS VOID YOURWARRANTY?If you’re thinking about sprucing up your new set ofwheels or making it a little faster by chipping theengine, make sure you check your warranty small printfirst.

KNOW YOUR LIMITSIf youare thinking of heading on holiday in yourcaravan; you need to make sure that what you wish totow doesn’t exceed the car's maximum towing capacity.This total weight also includes luggage and other itemsyou’re looking to transport, not just the weight of thecaravan or horsebox.

Overloading is not only unsafe, it will also void yourwarranty if a fault occurs because you tried to towsomething too heavy for the car.

Love & Marriage

Felicia ButheleziWHO IS FELICIA?

Felicia is a wife, a mother of two (2), and she is anordinary woman but with extraordinary dreams. She isoriginally from Esikhawini

HER PASSION

I share a very deep passion for families and hence Istarted the “I Do” project (I Do Awards and I DoMagazine). I also run a forum called Wives Journey. Thiscame about when I saw how the position of marriedwoman is being undermined and degraded. This aplatform for us to remind one another that we arequeens and that our society needs us. Without stablefamilies, there are no healthy societies.

THE “I DO” PROJECT?This project was inspired by the disturbing pain ofseeing people close to me divorcing, as well as what washappening in my marriage. We are both in business andwe were just too busy. I could see danger ahead.

I never thought that I would ever be interested in mymarriage the way that I am right now. I always new thati don't want to children out of wedlock. I did see thebenefits of having two parents under the same roof. Thatalone gave me the sense of security and self­worth. Ilearned so many things by observing my parents doinglife together. And I wanted the same for my children.

To my surprise, it has even worked in my marriage. Wetalk about almost everything. We discuss issues that wewouldn’t have freely been open to talk about before. Iam happy that I have experienced the power of the “IDo” Project in my own marriage.

WHAT DEFINES MARRIAGE FOR YOU?God created love to be the foundation of everything. Amarriage starts with two people who love one anotherand subsequently it’s about the family.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER THE LOWEST MOMENT IN YOUR

MARRIAGE?My family comes from a religious background, and theyhad their own way of building or uniting families, basedon religious statutes. So, when my husband decided todo things differently, it became very bad.

I must say that it was very frustrating and it was theworst thing to have happened to a twenty three (23) yearold. It affected my husband so much, but he still foughtfor us.

HOW DID YOU OVERCOME IT?It is easier to fight together the enemy you both know.

"We looked at the dynamics of our situation and agreedthat nothing is normal. Sometimes we expect normalresults from abnormal situations. Our family is not anormal family."

IN­LAWS ARE PERCEIVED TO BE EVERY MAKOTI’S WORST

NIGHTMARE, WHAT IS YOUR TAKE ON THIS?The third person should be God. It is beautiful whenyou have a support of your in­laws. Every person wouldlike to get along well with their in laws. But it isimportant to set clear boundaries for everyone to knowhow you want your spouse to be treated. Personally, Iprefer mutual respect than to be loved. We all have ourown definition of love and mine is respect.

On being a worst nightmare: I believe there is no in lawproblem unless you give them the permission to controlyou and your home. People learn from you how youwant to be treated. They will eventually adjust.

HOW DO YOU KEEP THE SPARK GOING?We boost the spark by celebrating small milestones likeanniversaries. With each year celebrated, it’s likestarting a new page. This year we celebrated ourthirteenth anniversary. We decided to take stock of thegreat things that had happened in our marriage. The badwill always be there, but focusing on the positives helpsyou to appreciate your partner even more.

68

YOUR ADVICE TO BUSINESS AND CAREER WOMAN ON BALANCING WORK AND MARRIAGE?It’s very hard for a career woman to run both family and a business. There is a greatdanger in this. Business or work is always bound to come before your family’sinterests.

initually my focus was that I didn’t want to lose my business and the rhythm that Ihad for my business. As we grew together, I decided that I didn’t want my children tobe raised by helpers – they’re supposed to be just that, helpers.

69

Wedding Guide

Money saving tips whenplanning a wedding

73

FLOWERS

­ Use more greenery than flowers. Don'tunderestimate the beauty of foliage. It'sinexpensive and adds a lot of size and texture toarrangements­ Swap out costly flowers­ Stick to just one or two kinds of flowers.­ Buy flowers that are in season.­ Include non­floral pieces, like seashells or fruit.­ Fill the room with candles to up the romancefactor and cut flower costs. Add depth by mixingtall candelabras and short glasses with tea lights

Who said planning a wedding has to break a bankHere are some tips on how you can have a beautiful wedding and

still get to save some bucks

RECEPTION

­ Cut the guest list. This will slash yourcatering costs and save on invitations andeven the number of centrepieces.

­ Think off­peak season and save thousands.­Skip the Saturday wedding, have yourwedding on a Friday or Sunday.

­ Have bigger tables so you need fewercentrepieces and tablecloths.­ Host your ceremony and reception at thesame venue or at two places within walkingdistance of each other. You'll save up byeliminating the need for transportation

CAKES­ Order a small one­ or two­tier cake and thensupplement it with a larger sheet cake (hidden inthe kitchen).­ Keep the add­ons simple.­ Use fresh flowers, not sugar ones.

CakeInspiration

RUFFLED ROSES

If a royal look iswhat you're looking,then this dress is for

you

2018/2019 latest trendssomething simple and elegant

Latest colour scheme tochoose from, for a subtlebut classy wedding decor

76

Entertainment

Lerato SokhuluContent ProducerAfternoon Express on 3

Born and bred in Eastern Cape

What defines you?My name – is translated as Love.

What are your interestsMusic and more music; dancing my heart out and learning how to make my body and my soul to speak with onevoice.

What inspires youPeople with a fighting spirit; people who have longevity in their respective careers – people who put in the work!

What do you love about your current job?It’s that I can meet literally whoever I want to; people I admire whose stories intrigue me, and I get to serve SouthAfrica with great stories, great minds and great conversations.

What are your future aspirations?Let me see: for now the main ones are to write a book and to produce my show. I would also like to have a rivetingrole in a film.

A message to your younger selfDo more activities at school. Be more present and stop living in your head – try to implement all those great ideasthat you have.

Where did your career start?My career started at Imbokodo FM in Pinetown, Kwa­Zulu Natal. It was a great grooming ground for me. I alwaystried to live out my dreams and I guess that’s what led me to where I am now.

What have been your “aha’” moments in your career?­ The time that I managed a whole radio station, at the age of twenty three (23).­ The time that I found my voice on radio and I actually realized that radio is my thing.­ My show being nominated for Liberty Awards; and­ The time that I wrote my first great interview with Basetsana Kumalo.

THE BREWER OF YOUR AFTERNOON DELIGHT

77

Christina Nyaile­Maloko (33) is married with two children and she is a guardian to her sister’s child.Christina was born and bred in the Free State. She moved to Durban to study further and ended upresidingin the area permanently

Why did you enter for Mrs Africa?I entered Mrs Africa because of what it stands for. I love giving back to the community. I wanted to erase thestereotype that ‘pageantry is for plastics’ as well.

What are you most passionate about?I have an event theme: “Queen arise”. This platform is aimed at challenging women to rise above their challengesand their flaws, and be confident enough to take on their issues, face on. I also do charity breakfasts.

What inspired you to enter?I lost a baby when she was six (6) months old; the pain and the depression that I went through was terrible. I foundit hard to understand why someone would want to throw away their children. I realized that we might be too quickto judge these women.

One day I wish to own a centre for women to try and understand their reasons for wanting to take such a step.

If they don’t want to keep the child it’s okay. At least they won’t be thrown out onto the streets. I want to be able totake them in. I just want to be a mouthpiece for every child who is being thrown out onto the streets.

78

79

Info@blacktiem

edia.co.za0727324670

ww

w.blacktiem

edia.co.za

This book is for all parents. Especially those who areeager to consciously raise children, to become well­adjusted and independent adults in a purposeful andeffective manner.

Herewith the book’s key messages:• Introspect and deliberate on your own parenting style• Lose fear and gain courage• Unlearn hurt and learn love• Be a true believer – face challenges and find solutionsfor your parenting journey• Search for deeper insights on what God expects fromparents• God has assigned you divine powers to be a parent –LISTEN TO HIM AND WIN

BOOKS

80

To Place your orderCONTACT : 072 732 4670

Ourservices

- Project Management- Business Analysis- Accounting- Events Management- Quality Assurance- Solution Strategy- Compliance- Software Development

Obakeng Business Solutions Pty Ltd

www.obs-tech.co.za

OBSTECH_RSA / /

FOR OUR LATEST EVENTS AND UPDATES

VISIT OUR PAGE

WWW.BLACKTIEMEDIA.CO.ZA