i love a piano irving berlin - backstage

I LOVE A PIANO MUSIC AND LYRICS BY

IRVING BERLIN CONCEIVED AND WRITTEN BY

RAY RODERICK &

MICHAEL BERKELEY

Roderick, Berkeley

330 West 42nd Street, 18th Floor, New York, NY 10036 (212) 757-6466 Miracleor2.com

I LOVE A PIANO

I LOVE A PIANO is the celebration of the music and lyrics of Irving Berlin. It follows the journey of a piano as it moves in and out of American lives from the turn-of-the-century to the present. Most people have known and have had some kind of a relationship with a piano in their lifetime. A piano, however, rarely remains in one place for seventy years. It moves. It sees a lot. It brings people together during times in their lives when they are the happiest, saddest, proudest, loneliest, closest, most romantic. This is the story of one piano’s experience; of the people it touches; of the lives it shares.

All the characters are played by six actors, who retain their identity and names throughout the journey, even though they are, in fact, playing different people in different time periods.

I LOVE A PIANO is a tribute to the man, who, according to Jerome Kern, "...has no place in American music. He is American music.”

CAST OF CHARACTERS

ALEX Mature, charming and sophisticated, the Authority Figure.

SADIE Mature and savvy with an earthy kind of sophistication. Eve Arden-type.

GEORGE Handsome, romantic, playful. Tries to be suave and worldly. Fails.

GINGER Brassy, wisecracking June Allison-type.

JIM Young, enthusiastic, happy-go-lucky optimist. Athletic.

EILEEN Young Judy Garland-type. Naive, romantic, vulnerable, yet spunky.

MUSICAL NUMBERS

ACT I 1. (OVERTURE) I LOVE A PIANO Orchestra 2. LET ME SING AND I'M HAPPY Eileen, Alex, Jim 3. PLAY A SIMPLE MELODY Alex, Eileen, Jim,

Ginger, George 4. A PRETTY GIRL IS LIKE A MELODY Men 5. SNOOKY OOKUMS Women 6. WHEN THE MIDNIGHT CHOO-CHOO

LEAVES FOR ALABAM George, All 7. ALEXANDER'S RAGTIME BAND Ginger, All 8. PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL George 9. EVERYBODY STEP Alex, All 10. EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT All 11. (DANCE BREAK) MANDY All 12. THEY CALL IT DANCING George 13 (REPRISE) PACK UP YOUR SINS

AND GO TO THE DEVIL All 14. (SILENT MOVIE MUSIC, PIANO) Jim, All 15. BLUE SKIES Jim, Eileen 16. ALL BY MYSELF Jim 17. ISN’T IT A LOVELY DAY Ginger, George 18. RUSSIAN LULLABY Sadie 19. TWO CHEERS, INSTEAD OF THREE Alex, All 20. I'VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME WARM All 21. (REPRISE) BLUE SKIES All 22. I'M STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY BABY Jim, George 23. TOP HAT, WHITE TIE AND TAILS Alex 24. PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ Jim 25. CHEEK TO CHEEK All 26. LET'S FACE THE MUSIC Alex, All 27. (DANCE) LET'S HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE. All 28. LET YOURSELF GO Ginger, ALL 29. CHANGE PARTNERS Jim, Sadie, All 30. (REPRISE) CHEEK TO CHEEK All 31. THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN WHILE YOU DANCE All 32. (DANCE) THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN

WHILE YOU DANCE Jim, Eileen, All 33. SAY IT ISN'T SO Ginger 34. (DANCE INTERLUDE) BEST THINGS… Jim, Eileen 35. HOW DEEP IS THE OCEAN? George, All 36. ALWAYS All 37. OH, HOW I HATE TO GET UP IN THE MORNING Jim 38. THIS IS THE ARMY All (except Jim)

(MUSICAL NUMBERS CONT’D)

39. I'M GETTING TIRED SO I CAN SLEEP George, All (except Jim) 40. I LEFT MY HEART AT THE STAGE DOOR CANTEEN Jim, Eileen 41. ANY BONDS TODAY Sadie, Women 42. WHAT'LL I DO? Eileen 43. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS INSTEAD OF SHEEP Alex 44. WHITE CHRISTMAS Jim, All 45. GOD BLESS AMERICA Sadie, All

ACT II 46. (ENTR' ACT) I LOVE A PIANO Orchestra 47. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH ALL THE JEEPS? Ginger 48. WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A GENERAL? Alex 49. GEE, I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY Jim, George,

Eileen, Ginger 50. SUPPERTIME Sadie 51. WE'RE A COUPLE OF SWELLS Jim, Eileen 52. EASTER PARADE Jim, Eileen, All 53. LET'S GO SLUMMIN’ Jim, Eileen 54. LAZY Alex, George, Ginger 54.5 The Girl That I Marry George 55. THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS Sadie 56. THEY SAY IT'S WONDERFUL Eileen, George 57. ANYTHING YOU CAN DO Ginger, George,

Eileen, Sadie 58. I GOT LOST IN HIS ARMS Ginger, Eileen,

Sadie 59. THE BEST THING FOR YOU Ginger, Eileen, Sadie 60. YOU'RE JUST IN LOVE Alex, Sadie 61. OLD FASHIONED WEDDING George, Ginger 62. (REPRISE) THERE’S NO BUSINESS

LIKE SHOW BUSINESS All 63. (FINALE) I LOVE A PIANO Ginger, All 64. (BOWS) I LOVE A PIANO All

SYNOPSIS

ACT I OVERTURE/PROLOGUE, PRESENT DAY Scene 1: ALEXANDER’S MUSIC SHOP, EARLY TEENS Scene 2: A PARLOR, LATE TEENS Scene 3: A SPEAKEASY, 1920’S Scene 4: STREET IN NEW YORK CITY, EARLY 1930’S Scene 5: A MOVIE THEATER, MIDDLE 1930’S Scene 6: A DANCE HALL, LATE 1930’S Scene 7: STAGE DOOR CANTEEN, THE WAR YEARS

ACT II Scene 1: STAGE DOOR CANTEEN, POST-WAR Scene 2: A JUNK YARD, EARLY 1950'S Scene 3: A SUMMER STOCK THEATER, LATE 1950'5 FINALE/BOWS, PRESENT DAY

ACT I

PROLOGUE, PRESENT DAY

Preset: As we enter the theatre, we see four large projection screens framed by simple architecture. The eight-piece orchestra is upstage, between the two center screens. A small turn-of-the-century upright piano is Center Stage in a pool of light. This is the kind of Piano on which we might imagine Irving Berlin writing his first song.

(Projections: Ribbon of piano keys)

House lights to half

(Projections: Kodilith of logo added to center screens)

House lights out as stage goes to black except for Pool Of light on piano.

(OVERTURE: "I LOVE A PIANO") We hear the sound of a one-finger-melody being plunked out as if it is coming from our piano. The left hand joins in and 3 PIANO MOVERS, dressed in coveralls and contemporary hats, enter from SR and cross to the Piano.

PIANO MOVER (GEORGE) Hey, be careful with the ol' girl. New owner searched high and low for this baby…She

loves this piano.

PIANO MOVER (JIM) Well, one man’s junk is another man’s treasure.

PIANO MOVER (GINGER) (Pointing to sticker on back of piano)

Been around, that’s for sure. “Alexander’s Music Shoppe. 1910”

ALL look

PIANO MOVERS (GEORGE) She’s almost a hundred years old.

PIANO MOVER (JIM) Wow, this piano has seen a lot. Think of all the stories it could tell. 1910.

PIANO MOVER (GINGER) That’s a lot of stories.

PIANO MOVER (JIM) That’s a lot of music.

PIANO MOVER (GEORGE) Hey, Tchaikowski---

PIANO MOVER (JIM) Just Think…Just imagine…

PIANO MOVER (GEORGE)

Just push.

PIANO MOVERS move piano off L1. The trombone kicks in the onstage Dixieland Band as the lights reveal our musicians, and our OVERTURE is off and running full steam.

ACT I

SCENE 1

ALEXANDER’S MUSIC SHOP, 1910

(Projections: interior window of a second floor turn-of-the-century music shop.)

Stage lights up as OVERTURE continues. ALEX, the proprietor of this 1910 music shop, enters from UR. He is a bit pompous and a bit edgy, but he is always likable. As he enters, he sets up shop. He brings on a rack of sheet music from L. From R, he brings on a counter, on which sits an ornate, old-fashioned cash register and a candlestick telephone. Behind the counter is a simple bent wood chair. Musical instruments and various signs dress the stage or are part of the projections. A sign on the counter reads: Ukuleles $6. A sign on the music rack reads: All Sheet Music 10¢. PIANO MOVERS, now dressed in coveralls with 1914 hats, enter with piano from L. ALEX guides them to C with piano. He pays them and they exit SL. ALEX crosses past the front of the piano during a musical break in the OVERTURE and casually echoes a phrase of "I LOVE A PIANO". There’s a broken note. He realizes this as he crosses to the counter. He quickly turns around and crosses back to the piano. The OVERTURE comes to an abrupt end as ALEX bangs sour note three times on piano

ALEX (To movers off stage)

Hey get back here. The Piano – It’s got a broken note! I paid for 88 keys not 87 and a…

ALEX bangs the bad note 3 more times.

…half! How am I gonna sell sheet music with this worthless piece of junk! (To piano)

Oh, I’m sorry. Don’t take it personally. It’s not you. It’s me. I’m very stressed. I’m going broke trying to keep up with the competition. You cost a pretty penny.

EILEEN, a song hawker, enters from L1. She's a little flustered. It is her first day of work and she's late. ALEX, unaware of her arrival, continues talking to the piano. EILEEN becomes aware that he talking about her and crosses to him with confidence.

And now I’m spending my last dime to hire a song hawker. You know how much the get second rate warbler who can barley croak out a tune?

EILEEN One dollar.

ALEX Huh?

EILEEN One dollar a day, plus lunch money and trolley fare.

ALEX

You must be

EILEEN

(Handing him her card) Eileen McGuire, from the Cohen agency. I sing to a high C, And I know all the popular music, And I'm equally comfortable in all styles. And---

ALEX And you're late.

EILEEN Yes, yes, but you see I missed my trolley car and the agency, well they gave me the wrong address so had to walk an extra five

ALEX (Taking music from JIM and handing it to Eileen)

You sell a song in ten minutes, you can keep Your job.

EILEEN But I haven’t even warmed up yet.

ALEX plays chord on the piano.

(#2: "LET ME SING AND I'M HAPPY") EILEEN

LET ME SING A FUNNY SONG WITH CRAZY WORDS THAT ROLL ALONG AND IF MY SONG CAN START YOU LAUGHIN' I’M HAPPY

ALEX Happy, Happy, Happy!

EILEEN HAPPY!! LET ME SING A SAD REFRAIN OF BROKEN HEARTS THAT LOVED IN VAIN AND IF MY SONG CAN START YOU CRYIN' I'M

ALEX AND EILEEN HAPPY

She stalks JIM in a tango style around the piano.

LET ME CROON A LOW-DOWN BLUES TO LIFT YOU OUTTA YOUR SEAT

AND IF MY SONG CAN REACH YOUR SHOES

AND START YA TAPPIN' YOUR FEET

She jumps on top of piano.

I'M HAPPY! LET ME SING OF DIXIE’S CHARMS OF SWANEE SHORES AND MOTHER'S ARMS AND IF MY SONG CAN MAKE YOU HOMESICK I'M

EILEEN grabs JIM by the collar and pulls him toward her.

JIM (Shyly)

HAPPY

EILEEN AND IF MY SONG CAN

ALEX START YA LAUGHIN' I'M---

EILEEN START YA CRYIN'

ALEX SET YA TAPPIN' I'M---

EILEEN MAKE YA HOMESICK I'M

EILEEN, ALEX AND JIM HAPPY!!

GINGER AND GEORGE Enter L1. EILEEN jumps off piano and crosses to GINGER and GEORGE handing them sheet music to "Simple Melody"

(#3: "PLAY A SIMPLE MELODY") EILEEN

DOODLE OO DOOT DOO DOODLE OODLE OO DOOT DOO DOODLE OODLE OO DOO

JIM AND ALEX (Looking at new sheet music)

DOOT DOOT DOOT DOODLE OO DOO DOOT DOOT DOOT DOODLE OO DOOT DOO DOOT DOODLE OO DOOT DOO DOOT! ETC.

ALEX and JIM continue 'DOOTS' with GINGER and GEORGE’S counter melody.

EILEEN WON'T YOU PLAY A SIMPLE MELODY LIKE MY MOTHER PLAYED FOR ME

ALL ONE WITH GOOD OLD-FASHIONED HARMONY PLAY A SIMPLE MELODY

ALEX (Picking up sheet music from top of piano)

Here’s a new one, hot off the press.

(#4: "A PRETTY GIRL IS LIKE A MELODY") ALEX begins to play "PRETTY GIRL" on the piano, as the others gather 'round.

GEORGE (Indicating he'd like to try the piano.)

May I?

ALEX Why certainly, sir.

GEORGE takes over at the keyboard and plays an arpeggio.

GEORGE You got a broken note here.

ALEX I know.

SADIE enters from L1. She is a stylish, mature Eve Arden type. She has been shopping and is loaded down with boxes. Music continues under dialogue.

SADIE You people ever hear of an elevator?! My dogs are BARKIN'! I haven’t got much time. What have ya got in a size seven? Triple E.

ALEX Oh no, Ma'm, this isn't a shoe

SADIE Preferably one of your sale items.

ALEX Novelty Songs are two for one.

SADIE (Pulling hat out of hat box)

They've got to match this.

ALEX

Madame! This isn’t a shoe store! It’s a music store! We sell music…Songs.

SADIE (Realizing)

Well, songs I don’t need.

She starts to exit. EILEEN hands music to ALEX.

ALEX A PRETTY GIRL

SADIE What, are you going to sing to me?

ALEX IS LIKE A MELODY

SADIE He's going to sing to me. (SADIE laughs)

ALEX THAT HAUNTS YOU NIGHT AND DAY

SADIE I ain’t fallin’ for it, Mister Caruso.

ALEX JUST LIKE THE STRAIN

SADIE Nope.

OF A HAUNTING REFRAIN

SADIE Not buyin’.

ALEX SHE'LL START UPON A MARATHON AND RUN AROUND YOUR

SADIE Watch it buster.

ALEX BRAIN

GEORGE (To GINGER)

YOU CAN'T ESCAPE SHE'S IN YOUR MEMORY BY MORNING NIGHT AND NOON

JIM

(A la Ziegfield Irish tenor, JIM dips Eileen) SHE WILL LEAVE YOU AND THEN COME BACK AGAIN

SADIE How much did you say this costs?

MEN A PRETTY GIRL IS JUST LIKE A PRETTY TUNE

EILEEN Ladies, you’re gonna love this one.

(#5: "SNOOKY OOKUMS") EILEEN

ALL DAY LONG HE CALLS HER SNOOKY OOKUMS

SADIE AND GINGER SNOOKY OOKUMS?

EILEEN ALL THEY DO IS TALK LIKE BABIES SHE'S HIS

SADIE JELLY ELLY ROLL

EILEEN HE'S HER--

GINGER SUGY UGER BOWL

EILEEN HERE'S THE WAY THEY BILL AND COO:

SADIE & GINGER POOGY WOO?

EILEEN POOGY WOO

SADIE & GINGER POOGY WOO

WOMEN ALL NIGHT LONG HE CALLS HER SNOOKY OOKUMS SNOOKY OOKUMS ALL NIGHT LONG THE NEIGHBORS SHOUT: "CUT IT OUT!

(In the MEN’S ears)

CUT IT OUT!

MEN CUT IT OUT!!"

WOMEN THEY CRY, "FOR GOODNESS SAKE! DON’T KEEP US ALL AWAKE WITH YOUR SNOOKY OOKY OOKUMS BABY TALK!"

ALEX flips up sheet music for a new song. We can read the title on the cover. He sings.

(#6: “WHEN THE MIDNIGHT CHOO-CHOO LEAVES FOR ALABAM'”) MEN

WHEN THAT MIDNIGHT CHOO-CHOO LEAVES FOR ALABAM'

EILEEN flips up identical copy of sheet music and for WOMEN to sing backup.

WOMEN ALABAM'! ALABAM'!

MEN I'LL BE RIGHT THERE I'VE GOT MY FARE

SADIE & GINGER I'VE GOT MY FARE!

MEN WHEN THAT HEAD CONDUCTOR SAYS, "COME ON LET'S GO!"

WOMEN LET'S GO!

MEN I'LL GRAB HIM BY THE COLLAR AND I'LL HOLLER

ALL "ALABAM'! ALABAM'!"

ALL WOMEN (Having the time of his life)

THAT’S WHERE YOU STOP YOUR TRAIN OOOOOOOO. THAT TAKES ME BACK AGAIN DOWN HOME WHERE I'LL REMAIN WHERE MY HONEY LAMB AM

Caught up in the fun of the song, the men lift the ladies onto the piano. They spin it around, as it becomes a "Steam Locomotive”. The piano ends up facing downstage

ALL I WILL BE RIGHT THERE WITH BELLS

MEN WHEN THAT OL’ CONDUCTOR YELLS

MEN ALL ABOARD!

WOMEN ALL ABOARD!

ALL ALL ABOARD FOR ALA— ALABAM' ALABAM' ALABAM’ MY HONEY LAMB MY HONEY

(#7: "ALEXANDER’S RAGTIME BAND") ALL

(In tintype tableau around Piano) OH, MA HONEY OH, MA HONEY BETTER HURRY AND LET'S MEANDER AIN'T YA GOIN'? AIN'T YA GOIN’? TO THE LEADER MAN? RAGGED METER MAN?

OH MA HONEY OH MA HONEY LET ME TAKE YOU TO ALEXANDER’S GRAND STAND BRASS BAND AIN'T YA COMIN’ ALONG?

The music shop has come alive with singing and dancing. GINGER and GEORGE discuss transaction to buy piano with ALEX as everyone continues to sing, purchasing sheet music at counter SR. Eileen is ringing the cash register in rhythm.

OH, MA HONEY OH, MA HONEY BETTER HURRY AND LET’S MEANDER AIN'T YA GOIN'? AIN'T YA GOIN'? TO THE LEADER MAN? RAGGED METER MAN?

OH MA HONEY OH MA HONEY LET ME TAKE YOU TO ALEXANDER’S GRAND STAND BRASS BAND AIN’T YA COMIN’ ALONG?

ALL exit, leaving GINGER sitting at the piano, alone in her parlor.

(Projections: Street in Brooklyn. Manhattan skyline in background. Windows in townhouse light up on outside screens.)

ACT I

SCENE 2, A PARLOR, 1918

(Projections: Brooklyn street exterior with second floor window lighted)

GINGER is alone at piano practicing the verse we've just heard. It is several years later, 1918, and she is struggling with both the piano and vocal part. She sings a few bars as she plays a one-finger melody slowly and deliberately on the piano.

GINGER OH, MA HONEY OH, MA HONEY BETTER HURRY AND LET'S MEANDER

There are five loud pounds on her ceiling from the person who lives upstairs. The sound actually comes from the orchestra. She looks up and then starts over, this time a little more quietly.

(Projections: Third floor window is lighted and then goes out.)

OH, MA HONEY OR, MA HONEY BETTER HURRY AND LET'S MEANDER

There are five more pounds from upstairs. Once again, she starts over, this time singing in a whisper.

(Projections: Third floor window is lighted and then goes out.)

OH, MA HONEY OH, MA HONEY BETTER HURRY AND LET'S MEANDER

GEORGE, her husband, enters from L3 and crosses to her at piano, CS.

GEORGE (Pointing up)

Shhh!

GINGER It’s not ten o'clock yet.

GEORGE (Pulling out watch)

It’s Ten o’one. You know the rule, no noise after Ten O’clock.

GINGER (Defiantly)

It’s not noise, George. It’s music.

Ginger plunks the piano and hits the bad notes.

GEORGE

Shh!

GINGER (Whispering at first)

But George, the Victory Bond Rally, it’s next Sunday. I’ve got to practice. There’ll be thousands of people standing outside that band shell. All eyes will be on me, George. I can’t let them down. I’ve got to practice!

GEORGE But we promised Mrs. Bellini we wouldn’t play the piano after ten o'clock at night.

GEORGE GINGER And a promise is a promise. I know you But George, if I don't practice now have to practice but you have to I'll never have enough time. be more respectful of the neighbors. The concert is only two days away. Mrs. Bellini is a very sweet lady— And George, you know how much

this means to me—

There are five more loud pounds from upstairs. They look up. They look to each other. GEORGE sits down at the piano and begins to play loudly for GINGER. They sing defiantly towards the ceiling top of their lungs.

GINGER AND GEORGE OH, MA HONEY OH, MA HONEY BETTER HURRY AND LET'S MEANDER AIN'T YA GOIN'? AIN'T YA GOIN'? TO THE LEADER MAN? RAGGED METER MAN? OH MA HONEY OH MA HONEY

GEORGE grabs hat from on top of piano and puts it on. He escorts GINGER around piano and to DC. He takes his place at piano as ALEX, SADIE, JIM and EILEEN enter as GINGER'S backup. We are now at her performance at the Victory Bond Rally.

(Projections: Central Park bandstand with crowd.)

LET ME TAKE YOU TO ALEXANDER’S GRAND STAND BRASS BAND

GEORGE (While she’s still singing)

You’ll be singin’ in front of a thousand people!!!

GINGER AIN'T YA COMIN' ALONG?

GEORGE plays arpeggio, as a hard-edged white spotlight hits GINGER. She’s like a deer in headlights at first.

(Projections: Close-up of Bandstand architecture and foliage)

GINGER COME ON AND HEAR COME ON AND HEAR ALEXANDER’S RAGTIME …

GEORGE (Prompting her)

Band.

GINGER …BAND COME ON AND HEAR COME ON AND HEAR IT’S THE BEST BAND IN THE LAND

ALL begin to Pulse. GINGER’S becoming more comfortable.

THEY CAN PLAY A BUGLE CALL LIKE YOU NEVER HEARD BEFORE SO NATURAL THAT YOU WANNA GO TO WAR THAT'S JUST THE BESTEST BAND WHAT AM MY HONEY LAMB!

Tempo begins to pick up.

COME ON ALONG COME ON ALONG LET ME TAKE YOU BY THE HAND UP TO THE MAN UP TO THE MAN WHO'S THE LEADER OF THE BAND AND IF YOU CARE TO HEAR THAT SWANEE RIVER PLAYED IN RAGTIME COME ON AND HEAR COME ON AND HEAR ALEXANDER'S RAGTIME—

The band cuts out for 64 bars of a cappella. GINGER conducts the others who impersonate instruments, becoming a 'Dixieland Band'. ALEXANDER is the tuba, SADIE the triangle, GEORGE at the piano snaps his fingers, JIM the banjo and EILEEN the percussion. GINGER, now in complete control, scats on the second chorus.

GINGER AND IF YOU CARE TO HEAR THAT SWANEE RIVER

ALL PLAYED IN RAGTIME

GINGER COME ON AND HEAR

ALL

COME ON AND HEAR


ALL COME ON AND HEAR


ALL COME ON AND HEAR


ALL COME ON AND HEAR ALEXANDER'S RAGTIME

GINGER ALL BAND ---------------- WON'T YOU PLAY

A SIMPLE MELODY ALL

LIKE ALEXANDER'S RAGTIME DOODLE DOO DOO DOO DOOT

During applause and in silhouette they celebrate GINGER'S success. Everyone exits, leaving GEORGE and the piano on stage in a pool of light as the projections change.

ACT 1

SCENE 3, A SPEAKEASY, 1920’S

GEORGE remains on stage, as the others exit, revealing him in a straw boater and holding a megaphone, doing his best Rudy Valley impersonation.

(Projections: Through the course of the first verse of "PACK UP YOUR SINS...” the projections begin with a color wash and then to a variety of images showing us the outrageous world of the 1920's; flag pole sitting, wing walkers, flappers, swallowing goldfish, telephone booth stuffed with people, scenes of wealth, decadence, prohibition, etc.)

(#8: “PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL”) GEORGE

PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL IN HADES YOU’LL MEET THE FINEST OF GENTLEMEN AND THE FINEST OF LADIES THEY'D RATHER BE DOWN BELOW THAN UP ABOVE HADES IS FULL OF THOUSANDS OF JONESES AND BROWNS AND HOULIHANS COHENS AND BRADYS YOU'LL HEAR A HEAVENLY TUNE THAT WENT TO THE DEVIL BECAUSE THE JAZZ BAND THEY STARTED PICKIN' IT THEN PUT A TRICK IN IT A JAZZY KICK IN IT THEY'VE GOT A COUPLE OF OLD REFORMERS IN HEAVEN MAKIN' 'EM GO TO BED AT ELEVEN PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL

IF YOU CARE TO DWELL WHERE THE WEATHER IS HOT H-E-DOUBLE-L IS A HE’LL OF A SPOT IF YOU NEED A REST AND YOU’RE ALL OUT OF SORTS HADES IS THE BEST OF THE WINTER RESORTS PARADISE DOESN’T COMPARE ALL THE NICE PEOPLE ARE THERE THEY COME FROM EVERYWHERE JUST TO REVEL WITH MISTER DEVIL

NOTHIN’ ON HIS MIND BUT A COUPLE OF HORNS SATAN IS A WAITIN’ WITH HIS JAZZ BAND AND HIS BAND CAME FROM ALABAM’ WHITH A MELODY HOT

NO ONE GIVES A DAMN IF IT’S MUSIC OR NOT SATAN’S MELODY MAKES YOU WANNA DANCE FOREVER AND YOU’LL NEVER HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL

During this next verse, GEORGE continues to sing in a presentational style, as the world of a 1920’s prohibition speak easy materializes around him. ALEXANDER, the owner of the speakeasy, runs in from R and moves the Piano from C to DR. SADIE enters from R, brings on a piano stool, places it at the piano and begins to Play. GINGER enters from UL with a cigarette holder the tango, by herself and headed toward GEORGE, across the upper level from L to R. All are now dressed in the outrageous fashions of the day.

(Projections: During this next verse, as some of the others begin to establish the scene, the projections change to the Interior of a 1920’s prohibition speaks easy. Montage of bottles and windows and interior gates.)

PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL IN HADES

SADIE enters R1 with Carpet bag and piano stool

SADIE (To George)

Where's the hooch?

ALEX (Pulling the piano DR)

Shhh!

GEORGE YOU’LL MEET THE FINEST OF GENTLEMEN AND THE FINEST OF LADIES

GINGER (In a dip with George)

Where’s the hooch?

ALEX Shhh!

SADIE sits at piano and plays.

GEORGE THEY’D RATHER BE DOWN BELOW THAN UP ABOVE

(To ALEX, breaking his presentation for a moment) Where's the hooch?

GEORGE HADES IS FULL OF THOUSANDS OF

ALEX Shhh!

GEORGE

(Whispers) JONESES AND BROWNS AND HOULIHANS COHENS AND BRADYS

ALEX

(Crossing DC, interrupting GEORGE) Psssst!

ALEX ushers SADIE and GINGER and GEORGE DC. They join him.

(Whispers) The hooch is here.

(Enjoying the secret "code words") "The Piano's been tuned."

ALL Ohh!...Huh?

They don't get it. He lays it on thick.

ALEX "The piano has been tuned”

ALL (Look to each other quizzically)

What?

ALEX (Crossing to piano in frustration and pulling out liquor from top of piano)

The Hooch is in the piano!!!

ALL (To ALEX)

Ahhh!

JIM, with EILEEN on his arm, enters from L2 with Ukulele and mimes knocking on a "door" UC. Five knocks are heard from the pit. ALEX puts liquor back in piano. They become "nonchalant" around the piano.

ALEX Who's there?

JIM Joe sent me.

ALEX Don't know no Joe.

JIM Frank sent me.

ALEX Don't know no Frank.

JIM Louie sent me?

ALEX

Nope.

EILEEN (Shoving JIM aside)

What’s your name mister?

ALEX Al.

EILEEN Al sent me!

ALEX Why didn't ya say so, Come on in.

JIM and EILEEN now burst in singing and dancing as the tempo picks up. The others watch in amazement as the young couple brings energy to the room.

(Projections: Liquor bottles)

(#9: “EVERYBODY STEP”) ALEX

EV’RYBODY STEP TO THE SYNCOPATED RHYTHM LET’S BE GOIN’ WITH ‘EM WHEN THEY BEGIN

YOU’LL BE SAYIN’ “YESSIR THE BAND IS GRAND” HE’S THE BEST PROFESSOR IN ALL THE LAND

LISTEN TO THE PEP THAT EMERGES FROM MIDDLE OF THE JAZZY FIDDLE UNDER HIS CHIN

OH WHAT MUSIC THE CLARINETTER COULD NOT BE BETTER

HEAR THAT STRAIN I DON’T KNOW JUST WHAT IT IS BUT IT’S GREAT THEY SIMPLY RUIN IT LOOK AT ‘EM DOIN’ IT COME COME

DON’T HESITATE

EVERYBODY STEP IF YOU WANT TO SEE A GLUTTON WHEN IT COMES TO STRUTTIN’ OVER THE GROUND

ALEX dances with EILEEN, JIM’S jealous.

WAIT’LL YA SEE MY LITTLE SWEETIE AND ME STEP STEP STEPPIN’ A

Dance “echo”

STEP STEP STEPPIN’ A ROUND

MUSIC BREAK ALEX dances with Eileen

WAIT’LL YA SEE MY LITTLE SWEETIE AND ME STEP STEP STEPPIN’ A

STEP STEP STEPPIN’ A ROUND

GEORGE grabs EILEEN and takes her away from ALEX.

(#10: "EVERYBODY’S DOIN' IT") GEORGE

(Grabbing EILEEN) EVERYBODY’S DOIN' IT DOIN' IT DOIN' IT EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT DOIN' IT DOIN' IT SEE THAT RAGTIME COUPLE OVER THERE WATCH THEM THROW THEIR SHOULDERS IN THE AIR SNAP THEIR FINGERS I DECLARE! IT'S A BEAR!

EILEEN IT'S A BEAR!

BOTH IT'S A BEAR!

They all can't help but show each other the latest, most outrages dance crazes of the day.

SADIE EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT

DOIN’ IT DOIN' IT EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT DOIN’ IT DOIN' IT AIN'T THAT MUSIC TOUCHIN' YOUR HEART HEAR THAT TROMBONE BUSTIN’ APART COME COME COME COME LET US START

SADIE bumps into GINGER, who crosses DS, JIM hand Ukulele to her.

SADIE EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT

ALL EVERYBODY’S DOIN' IT

JIM EVERYBODY’S DOIN’ IT

JIM & EILEEN EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT DOIN' IT DOIN’ IT EVERYBODY’S DOIN’ IT

ALL DOIN’ WHAT?

GINGER TURKEY TROT!

ALL SEE THAT RAGTIME COUPLE OVER THERE WATCH THEM THROW THEIR SHOULDERS IN THE AIR SNAP THEIR FINGERS I DECLARE!

JIM/GINGER EVERYBODY’S DOIN' IT

ALL EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT

ALL Charleston!

(#11: "MANDY", DANCE BREAK) All join in and now dance as three Couples for the first time, using a variety of popular dance styles from the 1920's.

(#12: "THEY CALL IT DANCING")

GEORGE YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS JUST A WEE LITTLE THING A MAN NEVER SQUEEZED A GIRL TILL SHE GOT THE RING THEY WERE BOTH ENGAGED BEFORE THE BOY TOOK A CHANCE BUT NOW ALL HE HAS TO DO IS ASK HER TO DANCE

The couples continue to dance. GEORGE steps down front. GINGER is still dancing with her imaginary 'GEORGE'.

THEY CALL IT DANCING YOU SEE THEM CUDDLED UP TIGHT THEY'RE ONLY DANCING SO EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT UNTIL THE MIDNIGHT CABARET CLOSES YOU CAN SEE HE AND SHE RUBBING NOSES

SHE CALLS HIM MISTER THEY’RE ONLY FRIENDS IT APPEARS AND THEN HE'LL TWIST HER LIKE THEY'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR YEARS A MAN CAN SQUEEZE ALL THE SHES WITH HIS ARMS AND HIS KNEES AND THEY CALL IT DANCING THAT’S ALL

Dance Break

IF IT'S A BALLROOM SHE DOESN'T MIND HIS EMBRACE BUT IN A HALLROOM SHE'D SLAP HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE A MAN CAN GRAB SOMEONE'S WIFE HAVE THE TIME OF HIS LIFE AND THEY CALL IT DANCING THAT'S ALL

Dance tag

(#13: "PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL", REPRISE) (Projections: yellow wash with red)

ALL PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL IN HADES YOU'LL MEET THE FINEST OF GENTLEMEN AND THE FINEST OF LADIES THEY'D RATHER BE DOWN BELOW THAN UP ABOVE HADES IS FULL OF THOUSANDS OF

JONESES AND BROWNS AND HOULIHANS COHENS AND BRADYS YOU'LL HEAR A HEAVENLY TUNE THAT WENT TO THE DEVIL BECAUSE THE JAZZ BAND THEY STARTED PICKIN' IT THEN PUT A TRICK IN IT A JAZZY KICK IN IT THEY'VE GOT A COUPLE OF OLD REFORMERS IN HEAVEN MAKIN’ ‘EM GO TO BED AT ELEVEN PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL

(Projections: full yellow wash)

IF YOU CARE TO DWELL WHERE THE WEATHER IS HOT H-E-DOUBLE-L IS A HELL OF A SPOT IF YOU NEED A REST AND YOU’RE ALL OUT OF SORTS HADES IS THE BEST OF THE WINTER RESORTS PARADISE DOESN'T COMPARE ALL THE NICE PEOPLE ARE THERE THEY COME FROM EVERYWHERE JUST TO REVEL WITH MISTER DEVIL NOTHIN' ON HIS MIND BUT A COUPLE OF HORNS SATAN IS A WAITIN' WITH HIS JAZZ BAND AND HIS BAND CAME FROM ALABAM' WITH A MELODY HOT NO ONE GIVES A DAMN IF IT’S MUSIC OR NOT SATAN’S MELODY MAKES YOU WANNA DANCE FOREVER AND YOU’LL NEVER HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL

PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL IN HADES YOU'LL MEET THE FINEST OF GENTLEMEN AND THE FINEST OF LADIES THEY'D RATHER BE DOWN BELOW THAN UP ABOVE HADES IS FULL OF THOUSANDS OF JONESES AND BROWNS AND HOULIHANS COHENS AND BRADYS YOU'LL HEAR A HEAVENLY TUNE THAT WENT TO THE DEVIL BECAUSE THE JAZZ BAND THEY STARTED PICKIN' IT THEN PUT A TRICK IN IT A JAZZY KICK IN IT THEY'VE GOT A COUPLE OF OLD REFORMERS IN HEAVEN MAKIN’ ‘EM GO TO BED AT ELEVEN PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL

(Projections: full yellow wash)

GINGER, SADIE, EILEEN GEORGE, JIM, ALEX IF YOU CARE TO DWELL PACK UP YOUR SINS WHERE THE WEATHER IS HOT AND GO TO THE DEVIL IN HADES H-E-DOUBLE-L IS A HELL OF A SPOT

YOU'LL MEET THE FINEST

IF YOU NEED A REST OF GENTLEMEN AND YOU’RE ALL OUT OF SORTS AND THE FINEST OF LADIES HADES IS THE BEST THEY'D RATHER BE DOWN BELOW OF THE WINTER RESORTS THAN UP ABOVE PARADISE DOESN'T COMPARE HADES IS FULL ALL THE NICE PEOPLE ARE THERE OF THOUSANDS OF THEY COME FROM EVERYWHERE JONESES AND BROWNS JUST TO REVEL AND HOULIHANS WITH MISTER DEVIL COHENS AND BRADYS NOTHIN' ON HIS MIND YOU'LL HEAR A HEAVENLY TUNE BUT A COUPLE OF HORNS THAT WENT TO THE DEVIL SATAN IS A WAITIN' BECAUSE THE JAZZ BAND WITH HIS JAZZ BAND THEY STARTED PICKIN' IT AND HIS BAND THEN PUT A TRICK IN IT CAME FROM ALABAM' A JAZZY KICK IN IT WITH A MELODY HOT THEY'VE GOT A COUPLE NO ONE GIVES A DAMN OF OLD REFORMERS IF IT’S MUSIC OR NOT IN HEAVEN SATAN’S MELODY MAKIN’ ‘EM GO TO BED AT ELEVEN MAKES YOU WANNA DANCE FOREVER

PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL

AND YOU’LL NEVER AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL

(Projections: interior of speak easy)

(#14: "SILENT MOVIE MUSIC", PIANO) A loud police siren breaks through the applause as police lights ballyhoo. The speakeasy is being raided. Everyone freezes.

(Projections: "CHEEZE IT THE COPS!" inner-title.)

ALL mime saying "CHEEZE IT THE COPS!"

(Projections: Black and white speakeasy interior)

A chaotic chase ensues as the "SILENT MOVIE MUSIC" begins. The music to the 'SILENT MOVIE' is made up of material previously heard in the SPEAK EASY sequence as played by SADIE at the onstage piano. It changes styles with each new event of the "SILENT MOVIE." SADIE also has a 'foley necklace' laden with the noisemaker props that she will use through the 'movie' to add flair to the score.

Everyone scrambles to grab the liquor and hide it inside the piano. Although the piano always remains center stage, changing projections make it appear as if the piano is actually moving to various new and somewhat absurd locations. Each new location is initiated by a change in the screens and the music.

ALEX, GEORGE, GINGER and EILEEN turn and run off in various directions.

(Projections: Speakeasy exterior.)

(Projections: Chinatown exterior)

JIM, in the mayhem, has exited and re-entered with pork pie hat, and is now 'BUSTER KEATON. As the others depart, he realizes that the 'hooch' is still inside the piano.

(Projections: inner-title: "The piano has been "tuned!")

He sneaks down, opens the piano top

Sadie Foley: Ratchet

HE pulls out a bottle and SADIE 'dings' it like a triangle.

SADIE foley: Police whistle.

He puts bottle back in and starts 'mime pushing' the piano to SR.

(Projections: Chinatown exterior moving left)

HE dodges cars as horns blare and "ay-ooga."

SADIE foley: Bike horn.

(Projections: Various period cars in traffic.)

'BUSTER' gets to SR of piano and stops for a mechanical stop sign.

(Projections: Mechanical stop sign.)

HE waits.

(Projections: Mechanical go sign.) HE mimes pushing piano to SL.

(Projections; Penn Station interior)

(Projections: Train out of tunnel sequence (SL screen),

SADIE foley: Train Whistle.

(Projections: inner-title "OH NO!")

'BUSTER' mimes saying "OH NO!" HE then mimes pushing piano away from train to SR.

(Projections: Out of Penn station and back through Chinatown)

The piano 'gets away from him' on a hill.

(Projections: Hill tilting down toward SR.)

He almost catches it-falls behind. 'Buster' finally catches it with Sadie's helpful reach. The piano then starts to 'roll' toward him down hill to the left.

(Projections: Hill tilting down toward SL.)

HE lets piano “pass him” running backward to SR side...and it continues 'downhill' with him chasing it until he vaults onto the top of the piano.

(Projections: Cavalry/Indians on horses.)

SADIES Foley: Cap Gun.

HE “rides the piano until it falls into the river with a splash.

(Projections: inner-title: "Splash!")

(Projections: East River and Ellis Island.)

SADIE foley: Bird chirp whistle.

(Projections: Inner-title "PEACE, AT LAST!")

'BUSTER' mimes saying "PEACE, AT LAST!" and paddles the piano like a canoe.

(Projections: River rapids.)

'BUSTER' mimes having difficulty paddling through rough water.

(Projections: Niagara Falls)

'BUSTER' jumps off piano, over SADIE'S head and lands flat on floor downstage of the piano.

(Projections; up side down Great Wall of China)

'BUSTER' stands, dusts himself off. Confused, he scratches his head (as SADIE plays the same sour note heard in previous scenes), and pulls out a black and white map to figure out his whereabouts. He turns the map upside down. He looks upside down between his legs at screens, then rights himself.

(Projections: Right side up Great Wall of China,

SADIE foley: Mini- gong.

'BUSTER' bows, hands folded, in polite oriental fashion.

Sadie foley: Police whistle.

(Projections: Inner-Title: Chinese “Oh, Shit”)

'BUSTER' starts running again. He sees a mountain.

(Projections: Small Matterhorn)

He begins to climb piano and falls.

(Projections: Medium Matterhorn)

'BUSTER' tries again and falls to floor.

(Projections: Large Matterhorn)

'BUSTER' trises climbing 'Matterhorn' again, this time SADIE pushes his butt to help him to top of piano.

(Projections: Small Matterhorn, Medium Matterhorn, Large top of Matterhorn)

'BUSTER' reaches stands atop the piano 'Matterhorn'. SADIE hands him a small black and white American flag. He salutes twice and waves the flag with pride.

SADIE foley: Police whistle.

Startled, 'BUSTER" mimes slipping and begins to 'fall' in slow motion with flag still in his right hand.

(Projections: Clouds.)

(Projections: Falling past building sequence; Woolworth building segments.)

(Projections: Headlines of Stock Market crash.)

'BUSTER' falls off back of piano and disappears.

(Projections: Lower East Side street, Black and White.)

The 'SILENT MOVIE' is over, and so is the carefree spirit of the 'ROARING TWENTIES.' It is now the beginning of 'THE GREAT DEPRESSION.' SADIE plays the big finish as we see 'BUSTER'S' pork pie hat fly up from and then fall back behind the piano. SADIE gets up from piano, places 'For Sale' sign on piano. She picks up the stool and bag and exits L1.

ACT 1

SCENE 4, MANHATTAN: LOWER EAST SIDE, EARLY 1930’S

(#15: "BLUE SKIES") The piano has been abandoned center stage. A slow, melancholy version of "BLUE SKIES" is heard as JIM comes out from behind the piano dressed in a ragged winter coat, scarf and hat. He places crate on top of piano. In the crate is a blanket and newspaper.

(Projections: monochromatic color is added to the previous black and white, lower east side street scene. It’s a typical scene out of the Depression with the look of a painted postcard.)

JIM (Optimistic, He's got a piano to sell.)

NEVER SAW THE SUN SHINING SO BRIGHT NEVER SAW THINGS GOING SO RIGHT NOTICING THE DAYS HURRYING BY WHEN YOUR IN LOVE MY MY HOW THEY FLY

Eileen enters from L2 with apple crate around her neck. JIM moves piano L and sits as EILEEN crosses to CS.

JIM OH BLUE SKIES

EILEEN APPLES!

JIM SMILIN' AT ME

EILEEN APPLES!

JIM NOTHIN’ BUT BLUE SKIES DO I SEE

EILEEN BLUEBIRDS

JIM (Pitching piano for a sale)

PIANO!

EILEEN SINGIN' A SONG

JIM PIANO!

EILEEN

NOTHIN' BUT BLUEBIRDS

SADIE (Entering from DL)

Still trying to sell that Piano?

ALEX, dressed as a wealthy gentleman, enters from R and moves to DL.

JIM Somebody will buy it.

EILEEN In case you hadn't noticed, nobody has any money.

ALEX enters R1, crosses in front of Piano.

JIM (Pointing to ALEX)

He does. (To ALEX)

Excuse me sir. Want to buy a piano? ALEX

I can barely afford an apple. You should have caught me before the Crash. (Humoring him)

How does it sound?

JIM Just listen to this!

He plays arpeggio ending on sour note. They all cringe.

ALEX (To EILEEN)

How much for an apple?

EILEEN Five cents.

EILEEN crosses to ALEX and hands him apple. ALEX gives nickel to EILEEN. JIM close’s lid and leans against piano. ALEX exits.

SADIE These are difficult times.

SADIE exits UR.

EILEEN You're never going to sell this Piano.

JIM Oh, I will. And when I do, don't expect me to take you to the movies…

EILEEN The movies?!

JIM

…or to The Ritz for dinner or if you’re lucky a carriage ride around the park.

EILEEN Who says I'd go?

JIM Who says I'm askin'?

EILEEN plays the bad note three quick times.

EILEEN Good luck, Mister Rockefeller.

She exits DL1.

(#16: "ALL BY MYSELF") He sighs, sits on crate DS of piano, pulls out newspaper and begins doing crossword puzzle.

JIM ALL BY MYSELF IN THE MORNING

Five letter word for "insular". ALL BY MYSELF IN THE NIGHT

Five letters, Going down. I SIT ALONE

A-L-0-N-E ... Alone! WITH A TABLE AND A CHAIR SO UNHAPPY THERE PLAYING

He realizes he's found another word.

SOLITAIRE

Writes in the word.

ALL BY MYSELF I GET LONELY WATCHING THE CLOCK ON THE SHELF

SFX: Thunder

JIM closes lid and covers piano w/blanket

I'D LIKE TO REST MY WEARY HEAD

JIM stands on crate.

ON SOMEBODY’S SHOULDER Anybody's shoulder!

I HATE TO GROW OLDER ALL BY MY—

JIM sit on piano and covers head with Newspaper and begins to flip his coin.

SFX: Thunder

(#17: "ISN'T IT A LOVELY DAY") GEORGE sees JIM with his coin and crosses to the piano. George catches the coin and gives JIM his umbrella.

GINGER George!

George turns to Ginger and show’s the nickel.

GINGER ISN’T IT A LOVELY DAY TO BE CAUGHT IN THE RAIN

GEORGE, Crosses to Ginger at CS.

GEORGE YOU WERE GOING ON YOUR WAY NOW YOU'VE GOT TO REMAIN JUST AS YOU WERE GOING LEAVING ME ALL AT SEA CLOUDS BROKE THEY BROKE AND OH WHAT A BREAK FOR ME

GINGER I CAN SEE THE SUN UP HIGH THOUGH WE'RE CAUGHT IN A STORM

GEORGE I CAN SEE WHERE YOU AND I COULD BE COZY AND WARM

BOTH LET THE RAIN PITTER-PATTER CAUSE IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER IF THE SKIES ARE GRAY

GINGER LONG AS I CAN BE WITH YOU IT’S A LOVELY DAY

EILEEN enters from UL and moves to R selling apples. SADIE, a Russian immigrant, enters from UR2 and moves to C.

EILEEN Apples! Apples!

SADIE

For this I left my home. My Russia. For what? So I could be free. Free to stand in bread lines.

(#18: "RUSSIAN LULLABY") (Projections: Russian countryside)

SADIE HMMM..… EV'RY NIGHT YOU HEAR HER CROON A RUSSIAN LULLABY JUST A LITTLE PLAINTIVE TUNE WHEN BABY STARTS TO CRY ROCK-A-BYE MY BABY SOMEWHERE THERE MAYBE A LAND THAT'S FREE FOR YOU AND ME AND A RUSSIAN LULLABY HMMM......

(#19: "TWO CHEERS, INSTEAD OF THREE") ALEX

IT’S SMART TO BE THRIFTY WHEN THINGS LOOK SO BAD LET’S BE PATRIOTIC BUT LETS NOT GO MAD WE MUST CHEER THE COLORS WE PRIZE SO, HERE’S WHAT I STRONGLY ADVISE

WE’LL JUST HAVE TWO CHEERS INSTEAD OF THREE FOR THE LAND OF THE BRAVE AND THE FREE INSTEAD OF THREE CHEERS WE'LL JUST HAVE TWO FOR THE LAND OF THE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE

SO WHEN WE CHEER THE STARS AND STRIPES HERE’S WHAT WE'LL DO WE’LL CHEER THE RED AND CHEER THE WHITE BUT NOT THE BLUE AND JUST HAVE TWO CHEERS INSTEAD OF THREE FOR THE LAND OF THE BRAVE AND THE FREE

ALL (Protesting)

Huh? Can you tell me something? Etc…

ALEX WHY GIVE 'EM THREE CHEERS WHEN TWO WILL MORE THAN DO IF THERE MUST BE CHEERS THEN LET THERE JUST BE TWO

AND THE SPEECHES THAT YOU MAKE TO UNCLE SAM CUT ‘EM DOWN TO "UNACCUSTOMED AS I AM…

C-mon! Follow me. There we go!

Dance Break

GEORGE I’m feeling better already.

GINGER Well, that’s the spirit ladies.

ALEX (Going into dance break)

Keep up with me boys…If ya can. Come on, let’s go! SO WHEN WE CHEER THE STARS AND THE STRIPES HERE'S WHAT WE’LL DO WE’LL CHEER THE RED AND CHEER THE WHITE BUT NOT THE BLUE AND WE’LL HAVE TWO CHEERS INSTEAD OF THREE FOR THE LAND OF THE BRAVE AND THE FREE

JIM (Optimistic)

Look at it this way. Things can only get better.

GEORGE (Realistic)

Because they can't get much worse.

On bell tone they all look up. It has begun to snow.

(Projections: animated snowstorm, same street scene)

(#20: "I'VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME WARM) ALL

THE SNOW IS SNOWING THE WIND IS BLOWING BUT I CAN WEATHER THE STORM WHAT DO I CARE HOW MUCH IT MAY STORM I’VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME WARM

I CAN'T REMEMBER A WORSE DECEMBER JUST WATCH THOSE ICICLES FORM WHAT DO I CARE IF ICICLES FORM I'VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME WARM

(#21: "BLUE SKIES", REPRISE)

MEN NEVER SAW THE SUN SHININ' SO BRIGHT NEVER SAW THINGS GOIN’ SO RIGHT NOTICIN’ THE DAYS HURRYING BY WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE MY MY HOW THEY FLY OH BLUE SKIES

WOMEN BLUE SKIES

MEN SMILIN' AT ME

WOMEN BLUE SKIES

MEN NOTHIN’ BUT

ALL BLUE SKIES DO I SEE

BLUEBIRDS SINGIN' A SONG NOTHIN' BUT BLUEBIRDS ALL DAY LONG

GINGER OFF WITH MY OVERCOAT OFF WITH MY GLOVE

GEORGE I NEED NO OVERCOAT

GINGER & GEORGE I’M BURNIN' WITH LOVE

ALL MY HEART’S ON FIRE THE FLAMES GROW HIGHER SO I WILL WEATHER THE STORM WHAT DO I CARE HOW MUCH IT MAY STORM I’VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME I’VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME I’VE GOT MY LOVE

JIM I’VE GOT MY LOVE I’VE GOT...

(Projections: no snow, same street)

GINGER and GEORGE exit L1, leaving EILEEN DR while JIM, a little defeated, remains C with piano.

ALEX How does five dollars sound?

JIM (Thrilled)

Five dollars?!

ALEX Pretty fair offer, considering the broken note.

JIM (Ecstatic)

I'll take—

EILEEN He won’t take less than ten.

ALEX Who’s she?

EILEEN His business partner.

ALEX (Handing JIM ten dollars)

You drive a hard bargain.

ALEX and SADIE push the Piano off L1.

(#22: "STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY BABY") JIM

(a bit stunned) IF I SEEM TO SCINTILLATE IT'S BECAUSE I'VE GOT A DATE A DATE WITH A PACKAGE OF THE GOOD THINGS THAT COME WITH LOVE YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK M I WON'T WASTE YOUR TIME BUT IF YOU SHOULD ASK ME WHY I FEEL SUBLIME… I’M

EILEEN takes JIM’S arm

STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY BABY CAN'T GO WRONG ‘CAUSE I’M IN RIGHT IT'S FOR SURE, NOT FOR MAYBE

GEORGE and GINGER enter UL, in nice, 'going on a date' clothing. They Cross to UC.

ADD GEORGE THAT I'M ALL DRESSED UP TONIGHT

EILEEN and JIM exit L1. (Projections: blue wash)

GEORGE STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY HONEY CAN'T BE BAD TO FEEL SO GOOD NEVER FELT QUITE SO SUNNY AND I KEEP ON KNOCKIN' WOOD

(#23: "TOP HAT, WHITE TIE AND TAILS") ALEX and SADIE enter from UR3. They are dressed nicely and SADIE is adjusting ALEX’S tie.)

GEORGE ALEX THERE'LL BE SMOOTH SAILIN' CAUSE I'M TRIMMIN' MY SAILS-- OH I'M-- IN MY TOP HAT AND MY WHITE TIE PUTTIN’ ON MY TOP HAT AND MY TAILS TYIN' UP MY WHITE TIE

BRUSHIN' OFF MY TAILS

ALEX OH I’M DUDDIN' UP MY SHIRT FRONT PUTTIN' IN THE SHIRT STUDS POLISHIN' MY NAILS—

(#24: "PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ") JIM

(Entering with EILEEN L2, dressed to go to the movies.) THAT’S WHERE EACH AND EV'RY LULUBELLE GOES EVERY THURSDAY EVENING WITH HER SWELL BEAUS RUBBIN' ELBOWS

COME LET’S MIX WHERE ROCKAFELLERS WALK WITH STICKS AND UMBERELLAS IN THEIR MITTS PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ

JIM and EILEEN tap off to the Movies, followed GEORGE and GINGER followed by ALEX and SADIE. A pallet of six Movie Theater seats, with two popcorn boxes, glide on from L, meeting the movie moviegoers C.

ACT 1

SCENE 5, A MOVIE THEATER, MID-1930’S

(Projections: Back wall of Art Deco movie theater)

GEORGE STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY BABY CAN'T GO WRONG CAUSE I’M IN RIGHT ASK ME WHEN WILL THE DAY BE THE BIG DAY MAY BE TONIGHT.

GEORGE and GINGER sit in two center seats with GINGER R of GEORGE

ALEX FOR I’LL BE THERE MUSSIN ‘ UP THE SHIRT FRONT TYIN' UP THE WHITE TIE DANCIN’ IN MY TAILS

ALEX and SADIE sit in two R seats with SADIE R of ALEX

JIM (With EILEEN, stepping over others to get to two L seats with EILEEN R of JIM)

IF YOU'RE BLUE AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE TO GO TO WHY DON'T YOU GO WHERE FASHION SITS

JIM and EILEEN sit.

PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ

Movie begins with lobster-scope effect as they all stare lovingly at the 'movie screen' they are facing.

(#25: "CHEEK TO CHEEK") ALL

HEAVEN I'M IN HEAVEN AND MY HEART BEATS SO THAT I CAN HARDLY SPEAK

MEN slyly put their arms around their dates.

AND I SEEM TO FIND THE HAPPINESS I SEEK WHEN WE'RE OUT TOGETHER DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK

(#26: "LET'S FACE THE MUSIC”) ALL frightened of what they see on the 'screen'.

ALEX

THERE MAY BE TROUBLE AHEAD BUT WHILE THERE'S MOONLIGHT AND MUSIC AND LOVE AND ROMANCE LET’S FACE THE MUSIC AND DANCE

WOMEN grab their MEN for security. MEN do not protest.

WOMEN AH---, AH---, AH---

MEN BEFORE THE FIDDLER HAS FLED

WOMEN AH ------ AH--!

MEN BEFORE THY ASK US TO PAY THE BILL AND WHILE WE STILL HAVE THE CHANCE

ALL LET'S FACE THE MUSIC AND DANCE

ALL DANCE! LET’S FACE THE MUSIC AND--

(#27: "LET'S HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE") They dance a comic soft shoe from their seats, their eyes never leaving the ‘movie screen’.

(#28: "LET YOURSELF GO") GINGER

COME GET TOGETHER LET THE DANCE FLOOR FEEL YOU’R LEATHER STEP AS LIGHTLY AS A FEATHER LET YOURSELF GO!

WOMEN COME HIT THE TIMBER LOOSEN UP AND START TO.LIMBER CAN'T YA HEAR THAT HOT MARIMBA LET YOURSELF GO!

GINGER (To ALEX, putting on the moves)

LET YOURSELF GO! RELAX AND LET YOURSELF GO

ALEX

(To a very upset SADIE) RELAX

GINGER (Still to ALEX)

YOU’VE GOT YOURSELF TIED UP IN A KNOT THE NIGHT IS COLD BUT THE MUSIC’S HOT, SO

WOMEN

GINGER dances with ALEX, leaving GEORGE no choice but to dance with EILEEN. SADIE and JIM are left on the ends with no partners,

COME CUDDLE CLOSER DON'T YA DARE TO ANSWER NO SIR BUTCHER, BANKER, CLERK OR GROCER LET YOURSELF GO LET YOURSELF GO LET YOURSELF GO--- OHHH---

(#29: "CHANGE PARTNERS") JIM

(Upset that EILEEN has been dancing with GEORGE) MUST YOU DANCE EVERY DANCE WITH THE SAME FORTUNATE MAN YOU HAVE DANCED WITH HIM SINCE THE MUSIC BEGAN WON'T YOU CHANGE PARTNERS AND DANCE WITH ME

ALL (except JIM and SADIE)

OHHH----! SADIE

(Upset that ALEXANDER has been dancing with GINGER. SADIE salts her popcorn) YOU’VE BEEN LOCKED IN HER ARMS EVER SINCE HEAVEN KNOWS WHEN WON'T YOU CHANGE PARTNERS AND THEN YOU MAY NEVER WANT TO CHANGE PARTNERS AGAIN

On bell tone, they all find their original partners.

(#30: "CHEEK TO CHEEK", REPRISE) ALL

HEAVEN I'M IN HEAVEN AND MY HEART BEATS SO

THAT I CAN HARDLY SPEAK AND I SEEM TO FIND THE HAPPINESS I SEEK WHEN WE’RE OUT TOGETHER DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK

The movie comes to a glorious conclusion as GEORGE stands, followed by GINGER, JIM, EILEEN, SADIE and ALEX. They applaud what they have just seen. They step DS with their partners and sing, as the pallet of theater seats goes off L.

(#31: "THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN WHILE YOU DANCE") ALL

THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN WHILE YOU'RE DANCING THINGS THAT YOU WOULD NOT DO AT HOME COME NATURALLY ON THE FLOOR FOR DANCING SOON BECOMES ROMANCING WHEN YOU HOLD A GIRL IN YOUR ARMS THAT YOU'VE NEVER HELD BEFORE

JIM EVEN GUYS WITH TWO LEFT FEET COME OUT ALL RIGHT IF THE GIRL IS SWEET

GEORGE IF BY CHANCE YOUR CHEEKS SHOULD MEET WHILE DANCING

ALL IT'S BECAUSE THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN WHILE YOU DANCE!

(#32: "THE BEST THING HAPPEN WHILE YOU DANCE". DANCE) (Projections: Red wash/mauve)

ALL begin to dance off R except for GEORGE, who remains SL. He does a step. GINGER is SR, she follows his lead. And as is true in any good ‘Fred and Ginger' movie, what starts as a challenge becomes a partnership. They finish their dance together DC. During the tag, they Dance with great energy off L1. JIM and EILEEN dance on from L2. They dance on the steps as if they are the “keys” of the piano. EILEEN and JIM dance off R1 as SADIE and ALEX enter L2 with the piano. As they watch as JIM and EILEEN exit, they CDS. They perform a soft shoe number. Following this number GEORGE, GINGER waltz on from L1 and JIM and EILEEN waltz on from R1. We are now in the midst of a dance marathon. A mirror ball drops in and is lighted. ALEX and SADIE push the piano, on the upper platform, to SR . SADIE plays piano as ALEX sets mic UC. JIM and EILEEN help GINGER and GEORGE in a costume change on stage. JIM and EILEEN then exit L1.

ACT 1

SCENE 6, A BALLROOM, EARLY 1940’S

ALEX (As M.C. of Dance Marathon)

After a hundred an thirty-seven hours on the floor, fourteen inexhaustible couples are miraculously still dancing!

ALEX And remember folks; In order to be eligible for the coveted one thousand dollar cash prize, couples must remain in constant motion.

(#33: "SAY IT ISN’T SO") GINGER

(Dancing slowly with GEORGE draped over her shoulder) SAY IT ISN'T SO SAY IT ISN'T SO EVERYONE IS SAYING YOU DON’T LOVE ME SAY IT ISN’T SO

GEORGE and GINGER'S dancing becomes almost motionless.

EVERYWHERE I GO EVERYONE I KNOW WHISPERS THAT YOU’RE GROWING TIRED OF ME SAY IT ISN'T SO

ALEX (To GEORGE and GINGER)

Couple number fifty-seven, you must remain dancing.

(They dance with slightly more motion.)

PEOPLE SAY THAT YOU FOUND SOMEBODY NEW AND IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME SAY IT ISN'T TRUE SAY THAT EVERYTHING IS STILL OKAY THAT'S ALL I WANT TO KNOW AND WHAT THEY’RE SAYING SAY IT ISN'T SO AND WHAT THEY’RE SAYING SAY IT ISN'T SO

(#34: "THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN WHILE YOU DANCE", DANCE INTERLUDE)

(JIM and EILEEN dance on from L2, very energetically.)

ALEX

(Referring to JIM and EILEEN) It seems that nothing can stop couple number twenty-nine. Let's hear a big round of applause for this amazing display of endurance.

(Projections: Dance hall - headlines of America being drawn into war - Japan bombs Pearl Harbor, America goes to War.) Music comes to an abrupt stop. The MEN read their Army induction telegrams simultaneously.

GEORGE ALEX JIM GREETINGS: YOU ARE DIRECTED TO REPORT TO ARMY INDUCTION DEPOT AT (244 WHITE HALL ST.,

(1608 S. ST., CHICAGO (373 PIKE ST., SEATTLE NEW YORK, NEW YORK ILLINOIS AT O6OO HOUR WASHINTON AT 0100 AT 0700 HOURS ON ON 12, DEC., 1941. HOURS ON 8, DEC., 1941

9, DEC. 1941. STOP) STOP

STOP

FROM AND AFTER THE DAY AND HOUR JUST NAMED YOU WILL BE A SOLDIER IN THE MILITARY SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES.

(#35: "HOW DEEP IS THE OCEAN?") (Projections: Blue wash)

GEORGE HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU? I'LL TELL YOU NO LIE HOW DEEP IS THE OCEAN? HOW HIGH IS THE SKY? HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO I THINK OF YOU? HOW MANY ROSES ARE SPRINKLED WITH DEW?

ADD JIM HOW FAR WOULD I TRAVEL TO BE WHERE YOU ARE?

ADD ALEX HOW FAR IS THE JOURNEY FROM HERE TO A STAR?

GEORGE

AND IF I EVER LOST YOU HOW MUCH WOULD I CRY? HOW DEEP IS THE OCEAN? HOW HIGH IS THE SKY?

ALL OOOOOOOOOOO. AHHH.

There is a short musical interlude, during which the couples embrace to say goodbye.

GEORGE WOMEN AND IF I EVER LOST YOU OOOOOOOOOOOOO HOW MUCH WOULD I CRY? HOW DEEP IS THE OCEAN? HOW HIGH IS THE SKY? AHHHHHHHH

(#36: "ALWAYS") ALL

I'LL BE LOVING YOU ALWAYS WITH A LOVE THAT'S TRUE ALWAYS WHEN THE THINGS YOU'VE PLANNED NEED A HELPING HAND I WILL UNDERSTAND ALWAYS ALWAYS

DAYS MAY NOT BE FAIR ALWAYS THAT'S WHEN I’LL BE THERE ALWAYS NOT FOR JUST AN HOUR NOT FOR JUST A DAY NOT FOR JUST A YEAR BUT ALWAYS

The MEN run off L.

GINGER NOT FOR JUST AN HOUR

ADD SADIE NOT FOR JUST A DAY

ADD EILEEN NOT FOR JUST A YEAR, BUT

GINGER

ALWAYS

WOMEN I'LL BE LOVING YOU ALWAYS

A lone military snare drum takes over the rhythm. The women turn together and move in step, to UC where they then move the piano off R2, as the lights and projections fade to black.

ACT I

SCENE 7, STAGEDOOR CANTEEN, DURING WORLD WAR II

In the black, we hear a military rhythm on snare. Piano joins in, playing a very strict military version of "I LOVE A PIANO". In black, a scene is set L with an army cot with blanket and pillow, a military footlocker, a field radio, a picture of EILEEN, a Christmas card, and an army rifle and helmet. An authentic "reveille" is bugled from the pit, as lights come up on JIM who lurches awake, bolt upright on his cot. JIM is trying to get up and get dressed.

(Projections: SL screens only; Army tenting)

(#37: "OH, HOW I HATE TO GET UP IN THE MORNING") JIM

OH, HOW I HATE TO GET UP IN THE MORNING OH, HOW I’D LOVE TO REMAIN IN BED FOR THE HARDEST BLOW OF ALL

(Falling back to sleep.) IS TO HEAR THE BUGLER'S CALL

BUGLE CALL. JIM again lurches awake.

OH, HOW I HATE TO GET UP IN THE-- (YAWN) OH, HOW I’D LOVE TO REMAIN IN-- (YAWN) FOR THE HARDEST BLOW OF ALL

(Falling back to sleep.) IS TO HEAR THE BUGLER'S CALL

BUGLE CALL. JIM lurches awake.

SOMEDAY I'M GOING TO MURDER THE BUGLER SOMEDAY THEY'RE GOING TO FIND HIM DEAD I'LL AMPUTATE HIS REVEILLE AND STEP UPON IT HEAVILY AND SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN BED

AND THEN I'LL GET THAT OTHER PUP THE GUY WHO WAKES THE BUGLER UP AND SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN

(Starting to doze) BED!

(Projection: USO banner and curtains on R screens)

BUGLE CALL - the last part of the BUGLE CALL is played badly by GINGER, bringing us into the world of the STAGEDOOR CANTEEN. Lights come up R on THE STAGE DOOR CANTEEN. It is 1945. GEORGE, GINGER and EILEEN march on from OR2. ALEX enters from R1 with Piano. All four are 'USO performers' dressed in military garb. They are in the middle of a rehearsal. ALEX, the director of the

rehearsal, plays piano. There is a tabletop radio that sits on top R end of piano.

(#38: "THIS IS THE ARMY") GEORGE, GINGER, ALEX AND EILEEN

THIS IS THE ARMY, MR. JONES

GINGER blasts bugle fill - badly.

NO PRIVATE ROOMS OR TELEPHONES

GINGER blows bugle.

YOO HAD YOUR BREAKFAST IN BED BEFORE BUT YOU WON'T HAVE IT THERE ANYMORE

Another bugle blast

ALEX Halt! Private Macready.

GINGER Sir!

ALEX Lose the bugle!

GINGER But I thought it would be a nice touch. I mean, being a military show and all.

ALEX Macready!

GINGER Sir!

ALEX Lose it!

GINGER Right!

GINGER tosses bugle to ALEX.

JIM jumps to attention, with rifle at side, and begins to march and do ‘rifleography'. JIM'S world continues to mirror the CANTEEN world. Rehearsal continues, as GEORGE, GINGER, and EILEEN, USO entertainers, are marching in place and singing, while ALEX continues to direct, shouting military-like orders. Stage L, JIM continues to march, following the orders of ALEX as if they are the orders of his imaginary Sergeant. Stage R: Marching is part of the show in rehearsal at the STAGEDOOR CANTEEN.

GEORGE, GINGER, ALEX AND EILEEN THIS IS THE ARMY, MISTER GREEN

ALEX

Faster!

ALL WE LIKE THE BARRACKS NICE AND CLEAN

ALEX Faster! Faster!

ALL YOU HAD A HOUSEMAID TO CLEAN YOUR FLOOR BUT YOU WON'T HAVE HER THERE ANYMORE

SADIE rushes on.

ALL DO WHAT THE BUGLER’S COMMAND!

SADIE Sorry I'm late.

ALL THEY'RE IN THE ARMY! AND NOT IN A BAND!

SADIE steps on Ginger's foot on the last note.

GINGER OWWWWW!

(To SADIE) I wish you would dance on your own feet instead of dancing on mine!I

SADIE I'm not a dancer. I'm a singer who moves.

GINGER Well, then, move!

ALEX Ladies!

EILEEN has sneaked down and turned on radio.

RADIO (V/0) ... and that concludes the final chapter of the Whilloby Saga.

ALEX reaches to turn off radio.

Don't touch that dial…

ALEX doesn’t

…Stay tuned for a special Holiday Lux Music hour–

ALEX turns off radio.

ALEX

Miss Eileen McGuire, May I remind you that we are still in rehearsal and if you value your job at the Stage Door Canteen–

EILEEN I'm sorry Alex. I was looking for the war reports. I'm worried about Jim overseas.

GINGER Gee honey, that is rough. How long has it been?

EILEEN Two days.

ALEX George, let's do the ballad.

ALEX plays an arpeggio on piano and hits the bad note. ALEX looks at the keys and hits a higher chord. GEORGE gets music from piano top.

(#39: "I'M GETTING TIRED SO I CAN SLEEP") GEORGE

OUT ON A HIKE ALL DAY DEAR PART OF THE ARMY GRIND WEARY AND LONG THE WAY DEAR BUT REALLY, I DON’T MIND

ALL sing backup. JIM is getting ready for bed in his tent. He has a picture of EILEEN that he sets up next to his cot.

GEORGE I'M GETTING TIRED SO I CAN SLEEP I WANT TO SLEEP SO I CAN DREAM I WANT TO DREAM SO I CAN BE WITH YOU

I'VE GOT YOUR PICTURE BY MY BED T'WILL SOON BE PLACED BENEATH MY HEAD TO KEEP ME COMPANY THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH

ALEX All right everyone; let's just do the backups.

They rehearse backups as JIM, over seas, sings his immediate feelings.

(#40: "I LEFT MY HEART AT THE STAGE DOOR CANTEEN") JIM

I LEFT MY HEART AT THE STAGE DOOR CANTEEN I LEFT IT THERE WITH A GIRL NAMED EILEEN I KEPT HER SERVING DOUGHNUTS 'TIL ALL SHE HAD WERE GONE I SAT THERE DUNKING DOUGHNUTS

'TILL SHE CAUGHT ON

ADD EILEEN FOR A LITTLE WHILE WHATEVER BEFALLS I WILL SEE YOU SMILE TILL REVEILLE CALLS

JIM I MUST GO BACK TO THE ARMY ROUTINE

ALL (EXCEPT JIM) (Rehearsing parts)

THIS IS THE ARMY

JIM AND EV'RY DOUGHBOY KNOWS WHAT THAT WILL MEAN

ALL MISTER JONES

EILEEN crosses to RC.

JIM AND EILEEN A SOLDIER BOY WITHOUT A HEART HAS TWO STRIKES ON HIM FROM THE START

JIM AND MY HEART’S AT THE STAGEDOOR CANTEEN

ALEX Let’s hear the 'Bonds’ number from the top.

SADIE crosses to L of piano.

(#41: "ANY BONDS TODAY") SADIE

THE TALL MAN WITH THE HIGH HAT AND THE WHISKERS ON HIS CHIN WILL SOON BE KNOCKIN’ AT YOUR DOOR AND YOU OUGHTA' BE IN

Girls! THE TALL MAN WITH THE HIGH HAT WILL BE COMIN' DOWN YOUR WAY GET YOUR SAVINGS OUT WHEN YOU HEAR HIM SHOUT ANY BONDS TODAY

GINGER and EILEEN take sailor hats and cross DS to SADIE and form trio with EILEEN in the middle.

WOMEN

(A la "Andrew Sisters") ANY BONDS TODAY? BONDS OF FREEDOM THAT'S WHAT I’M SELLIN’ ANY BONDS TODAY?

SADIE (To GINGER)

Wrong part!

WOMEN GINGER SCRAPE UP THE MOST YOU CAN Nuh-Uh.

WOMEN HERE COMES THE FREEDOM MAN ASKIN’ YOU TO BUY A SHARE OF FREEDOM TODAY

GINGER I'm on the melody!

SADIE You're on the bottom!

WOMEN ANY STAMPS TODAY? BETTER BUY UM, BUT, WE'LL BE BLESSED IF WE ALL INVEST IN THE U.S.A.

GINGER You're flat!

WOMEN HERE COMES THE FREEDOM MAN

SADIE (Crossing up to ALEX)

I’M flat?! Let’s take it up with Alex. He wrote the parts!

GINGER AND EILEEN CAN'T MAKE TOMORROW’S PLAN

GINGER I’m right behind you, sister.

EILEEN NOT UNLESS YOU BUY A SHARE OF FREEDOM TODAY!

SADIE and GINGER continue arguing as they move upstage with ALEX and GEORGE, leaving a wistful EILEEN alone downstage on the piano bench. This transition is underscored by vamp to:

(#42: "WHAT'LL I DO?")

EILEEN sings her thoughts about missing JIM.

EILEEN WHAT'LL I DO WHEN YOU ARE FAR AWAY AND I AM BLUE WHAT'LL I DO? WHAT'LL I DO WHEN I AM WONDRING WHO IS KISSING YOU WHAT'LL I DO?

WHAT'LL I DO WITH JUST A PHOTOGRAPH TO TELL MY TROUBLES TO? WHEN I’M ALONE WITH ONLY DREAMS OF YOU THAT WON'T COME TRUE WHAT’LL I DO?

(#43: "COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS INSTEAD OF SHEEP") ALEX

(Consoling EILEEN) WHEN I'M WORRIED AND I CAN'T SLEEP I COUNT MY BLESSINGS INSTEAD OF SHEEP AND I FALL ASLEEP COUNTING MY BLESSINGS

WHEN MY BANKROLL IS GETTING SMALL I THINK OF WHEN I HAD NONE AT ALL AND I FALL ASLEEP COUNTING MY BLESSINGS

I THINK ABOUT A NURS'RY AND I PICTURE CURLY HEADS AND ONE BY ONE I COUNT THEM AS THEY SLUMBER IN THEIR BEDS

IF YOU'RE WORRIED

AND YOU CAN'T SLEEP JUST COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS INSTEAD OF SHEEP AND YOU’LL FALL ASLEEP COUNTING YOU'RE BLESSINGS

GEORGE, GINGER AND SADIE (To EILEEN)

I HOPE YOU'RE TIRED ENOUGH TO SLEEP AND PLEASE SLEEP LONG ENOUGH TO DREAM

AND LOOK FOR ME FOR I'LL BE DREAMING TOO

ALEX turns on radio.

RADIO ...And now, from all of us here at "Lux Music Hour" we wish you merry Christmas. And let us hope next year at this time our boys will all be home...

(#44: "WHITE CHRISTMAS") We hear an instrumental version of "WHITE CHRISTMAS" as the focus shifts to JIM on his cot, listening to the same radio broadcast on his field radio. The song begins Very simply, with guitar and piano. JIM begins to sing along with the radio on the second phrase. SADIE and ALEX exit SR and return with a Christmas tree and box of ornaments. They all begin to decorate the tree while listening to the radio.

JIM ...JUST LIKE THE ONES I USED TO KNOW WHERE THE TREETOPS GLISTEN AND CHILDREN LISTEN TO HEAR SLEIGHBELLS IN THE SNOW ALL EXCEPT

ALL 000000 0000

The arrangement becomes richer as instruments and voices join in.

I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS

Sadie Exits R.

WITH EV'RY CHRISTMAS CARD I WRITE MAY YOUR DAYS BE MERRY

Sadie Exit R1

AND BRIGHT AND MAY ALL YOUR CHRISTMASES BE WHITE

The arrangement returns to the simple guitar and piano of the beginning.

JIM

MAY YOUR DAYS BE MERRY AND BRIGHT

ALL AND MAY ALL YOUR CHRISTMASES BE WHITE----

(Projection: Stars)

(#45: "GOD BLESS AMERICA") ALL huddle around piano to hear the broadcast. SADIE, as ‘Kate Smith', is now UC with mic in front of the band. She has become a part of the radio broadcast.

SADIE GOD BLESS AMERICA LAND THAT I LOVE STAND BESIDE HER AND GUIDE HER THROUGH THE NIGHT WITH A LIGHT FROM ABOVE

Lights fade on SR and SL as those scenes are struck and ALL but SADIE exit.

FROM THE MOUNTAINS TO THE PRAIRIES TO THE OCEANS WHITE WITH FOAM GOD BLESS AMERICA MY HOME SWEET HOME

GEORGE, GINGER, ALEX and EILEEN all enter one by one from SR.

(Projections: Black and white photographs of Times Square victory celebration)

ADD GEORGE FROM THE MOUNTAINS TO THE PRAIRIES

ADD GINGER, ALEX TO THE OCEANS WHITE WITH FOAM GOD BLESS AMERICA

JIM enters L2 with duffel bag. He rushes into EILEEN'S arms C, recreating the famous 'Sailor Kiss' in Times Square.

MY HOME SWEET HOME GOD BLESS AMERICA MY HOME SWEET

HOME

GINGER, GEORGE and ALEX rush to the happy couple and SADIE continues to sing UC as the song ends.

(Projections: Blue sky)

AHHHH!!!!

(Projections: Bursting fireworks)

END OF ACT I

ACT 2

SCENE 1, STAGEDOOR CANTEEN, POST WORLD WAR II

(#46: ENTR' ACT, "I LOVE A PIANO") The STAGEDOOR CANTEEN has now been closed up, as it is no longer needed in this post-war America. The piano, now covered with an old USO banner, seems to have as much purpose as an old army Jeep. There are remnants of the victory party. Streamers, an old champagne bottle, and two empty glasses lie on the top of the piano. There is box on a bent wood chair that sits in front of the piano. The lights are out, and the STAGEDOOR CANTEEN now seems lifeless. The next three numbers are performed in a Vaudeville style, with the STAGEDOOR CANTEEN as a backdrop.

(Projections: closed-up, dark, STAGEDOOR CANTEEN, no USO banner SR; dark blue wash SL)

(#47: "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH ALL THE JEEPS?") GINGER enters from L3 and crosses to DC. She is dressed as a 'Rosie the Riveter'.

GINGER WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH ALL THE JEEPS? THINKIN' ABOUT THE JEEPS GIVES ME THE CREEPS WHAT'LL THE ARMY DO WITH THOSE OLD MESS KITS?

GEORGE and JIM enter, George from R1 with a rigged army blanket and JIM from L1.

HOW WILL WE SQUEEZE YOUR FOOT INTO A SHOE THAT FITS?

WHAT’LL WE DO WITH ARMY BLANKETS WHEN FELLOWS BEGIN TO SLEEP IN SHEETS AGAIN?

The army blanket falls open.

HOW WILL WE USE THE FLANNELS THAT WE GOT THROUGH ARMY CHANNELS WHEN THE BOYS COME HOME?

GINGER stomps foot, the boys turn away from her. She begins to undress behind the blanket.

WHAT'LL WE DO WITH ALL THE EMPTY CANS? WHERE WILL WE BURN THE PAPERS FILLED WITH PLANS HOW WILL WE USE THE JUNK THAT THE BOYS SENT BACK BEAUTIFUL SILVER SOUVENIRS THAT SOON TURNED BLACK

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH ALL THE BARS ALL OF THE LEAVES THE EAGLES AND THE STARS?

HOW WILL WE FACE CONDITIONS IN A WORLD WITHOUT MUNITIONS WHEN THE BOYS COME HOME AND WHAT'LL WE DO WITH ALL THE BOYS

GINGER opens blanket to reveal that she has changed costumes and now looks like a French maid.

WHEN THE BOYS COME HOME?

GEORGE AND JIM carry GINGER off L1, as ALEX enters L2, dressed in a golf outfit. He watches them go off.

(#48: "WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH A GENERAL?") ALEX

(Making his way to C) WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH A GENERAL WHEN HE STOPS BEING A GENERAL? OH, WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH A GENERAL WHO’S RETIRED?

WHO'S GOT A JOB FOR A GENERAL WHEN HE STOPS BEING A GENERAL THEY ALL GET A JOB BUT A GENERAL NO ONE HIRES

THEY FILL HIS CHEST WITH MEDALS WHILE HE'S ACROSS THE FOAM AND THEY SPREAD THE CRIMSON CARPET WHEN HE COMES MARCHING HOME

THE NEXT DAY SOMEONE HOLLERS WHEN HE COMES INTO VIEW "HERE COMES THE GENERAL!" AND THEY ALL SAY "GENERAL WHO?"

THEY'RE DELIGHTED THAT HE CAME BUT THEY CAN'T RECALL HIS NAME

NOBODY THINKS OF ASSIGNING HIM WHEN THEY STOP WINING AND DINING HIM IT SEEMS THIS COUNTRY NEVER HAS ENJOYED SO MANY ONE AND TWO AND THREE AND FOUR STAR GENERALS UNEMPLOYED

(#49: "GEE, I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY") JIM and GEORGE now enter from L2, looking Very civilian, GEORGE a fast order cook, JIM a bellhop. They clown with ALEX, exchanging their hats with his, trying to get him to loosen up. He resists.

GEORGE JIM

WHEN I WAS MUSTERED OUT YO-HO! I THOUGHT WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT I WAS THROUGH WITH ALL MY CARE AND STRIFE

JIM I THOUGHT THAT I WAS THEN THE HAPPIEST OF MEN

BOTH BUT AFTER MONTHS OF TOUGH CIVILIAN LIFE HOOP-DE-DOO!

JIM AND GEORGE GEE! I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY AT ALL THREE MEALS A DAY GEORGE

Three!

JIM GEORGE FOR WHICH THEY DIDN’T PAY Uh, huh!

UNIFORMS FOR WINTER, SPRING UNIFORMS FOR WINTER, SPRING AND FALL. WHOOP DE DO! AND FALL. WHOOP-DE-DOO!

BOTH THERE'S A LOT TO BE SAID FOR THE ARMY A LIFE WITHOUT RESPONSIBILITY A SOULDIER OUT OF LUCK WAS NEVER REALLY STUCK THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE HIGHER UP WHERE YOU CAN PASS THE BUCK OH, GEE, I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY

GINGER, a waitress, and EILEEN, a beautician, march on from R2 joining the men.

GINGER AND EILEEN GEE! I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY THE ARMY WAS THE PLACE TO FIND ROMANCE SOLDIERS AND WACS THE WACS WHO DRESSED IN SLACKS DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK AND PANTS TO PANTS!

ALL 4 THERE'S A LOT TO BE SAID FOR THE ARMY

WOMEN A GAL WAS NEVER LOST FOR COMPANY

WOMEN

A MILLION HANDSOME GUYS GEORGE AND JIM Girls!

WITH LONGING IN THEIR EYES

GEORGE AND JIM Girls!

WOMEN AND ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS PICK

ALL THE AGE, THE WEIGHT AND SIZE! OH! GEE! I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY

GEORGE, GINGER, EILEEN, JIM Ready for orders, Sir!

ALEX Company, present arms!

Music stops. GEORGE, GINGER, EILEEN and JIM present “arms”.

GEORGE, GINGER, EILEEN, JIM THREE MEALS A DAY FOR WHICH YOU DIDN'T PAY A MILLION HANDSOME GUYS WITH LONGING IN THEIR EYES I THOUGHT THAT I WAS THROUGH WITH ALL MY CARE AND STRIFE BUT AFTER MONTHS AND MONTHS OF TOUGH CIVILIAN LIFE OH! GEE! I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY NOW.

ALEX breaks at the end and smiles. They all dance ALEX off R2

SADIE, all alone, enters from R1 and walks into the STAGEDOOR CANTEEN, still abandoned and filled with the remains of the victory party. The 'ghost room' seems to fill her with a kind of melancholy. She has lost her husband in the war. She tries to be strong. She clears some of the party remains and begins putting them in the box.

(Projections: Fade to black)

(#50: "SUPPERTIME") SADIE

SUPPERTIME I SHOULD SET THE TABLE 'CAUSE IT'S SUPPERTIME

SOMEHOW I'M NOT ABLE CAUSE THAT MAN OF MINE AIN'T COMIN' HOME NO MORE

SUPPERTIME KIDS'LL SOON BE YELLIN' FOR THEIR SUPPERTIME HOW'LL I KEEP FROM TELLIN' THEM THAT MAN OF MINE AIN'T COMIN' HOME NO MORE

HOW’LL I KEEP EXPLAININ' WHEN THEY ASK ME WHERE HE’S GONE HOW'LL I KEEP FROM CRYIN' WHEN I BRING THEIR SUPPER ON? HOW CAN I REMIND THEM TO PRAY AT THEIR HUMBLE BOARD HOW CAN I BE THANKFUL WHEN THEY START TO THANK THE LORD? LORD!

SUPPERTIME I SHOULD SET THE TABLE ‘CAUSE IT'S SUPPERTIME SOMEHOW I'M NOT ABLE 'CAUSE THAT MAN OF MINE AIN'T COMIN’ HOME NO MORE

During the musical interlude, the PIANO MOVERS enter from R1. They cross to the piano and begin to strike all the party remnants. GEORGE lifts the SL side of the USO banner and discovers the Air Force hat, he begins to put it in the box but SADIE stops him. She takes the hat from GEORGE and crosses DS to the chair. This hat reminds her of her husband. She holds it tight. PIANO MOVERS, GINGER, GEORGE and ALEX, exit with the piano and box in R1.

SADIE is all alone. She clutches the Army hat, pressing it against her heart and site in bentwood chair.

HOW CAN I REMIND THEM TO PRAY AT THEIR HUMBLE BOARD HOW CAN I BE THANKFUL WHEN THEY START TO THANK THE LORD? LORD!

SUPPERTIME I SHOULD SET THE TABLE 'CAUSE IT'S SUPPERTIME

SOMEHOW I’M NOT ABLE 'CAUSE THAT MAN OF MINE AIN'T COMIN' HOME NO MORE AIN'T COMIN' HOME NO MORE

SADIE exits SR1, leaving hat on bentwood chair. A pool of light on bentwood chair fades to black.

ACT 2

SCENE 2, A JUNKYARD, EARLY 1950’S

During the blackout, JIM and EILEEN enter in R2 with the Piano. They cross to CS as the Lights come up on them. JIM and EILEEN are dressed as romanticized bums. They have found the piano and are using it as an elegant dining table. An old cloth as a table cloth, a hubcap as a serving tray cover, tin plate, 2 tin cans and a milk bottle. A small crate rests on the SR side of the piano with a large crate P/S on the SL backside of the piano.

(Projections: junkyard silhouette, romantic moon, night sky)

(#51: "WE'RE A COUPLE OF SWELLS") JIM AND EILEEN

WE'RE A COUPLE OF SWELLS WE STOP AT THE BEST HOTELS BUT WE PREFER THE COUNTRY FAR AWAY FROM THE CITY SMELLS

WE'RE A COUPLE OF SPORTS THE PRIDE OF THE TENNIS COURTS IN JUNE, JULY AND AUGUST WE LOOK CUTE WHEN WE'RE DRESSED IN SHORTS

EILEEN THE VANDERBILTS HAVE ASKED US UP FOR TEA

JIM WE DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET THERE

EILEEN NO SIRRE

JIM hiccups.

BOTH NO SIREE

WE WOULD SAIL UP THE AVENUE BUT WE HAVEN'T GOT A YACHT WE WOULD DRIVE UP THE AVENUE BUT THE HORSE WE HAD WAS SHOT WE WOULD RIDE ON A TROLLEY CAR BUT WE HAVEN'T GOT THE FARE

They play with each other, walking around the piano.

SO WE'LL WALK UP THE AVENUE YES WE'LL WALK UP THE AVENUE YES WE'LL WALK UP THE AVENUE

'TIL WE'RE THERE

JIM After you my darling.

EILEEN Oh, merce boucoup, after you

JIM Why, thank you very much, No I insist!

EILEEN Oh, no I insist.

Jim walks around the piano to US, as if he’s going down stairs. EILEEN follows him and “falls” down the stairs. JIM sits in front of keys. EILEEN sits at left end of piano on barrel. JIM plays arpeggio. Bad note, then it’s it three times. He modulates up.

(#52: "EASTER PARADE") JIM

(To EILEEN who feigns modesty) NEVER SAW YOU LOOK QUITE SO PRETTY BEFORE NEVER SAW YOU DRESSED QUITE SO LOVELY WHAT'S MORE

I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO KEEP OUR DATE THIS LOVELY EASTER MORNING AND MY HEART BEAT FAST AS YOU CAME THROUGH THE DOOR FOR

EILEEN uses hubcap as bonnet.

IN YOUR EASTER BONNET WITH ALL THE FRILLS UPON IT YOU'LL BE THE GRANDEST LADY IN THE EASTER PARADE

GEORGE enters with GINGER from L1, and ALEX enters with SADIE from R1, and begin strolling in beautiful Easter garb as JIM and EILEEN leave the piano and begin strolling upstage of them.

(Projections: 5th Avenue)

ADD ALEX AND GEORGE I'LL BE ALL IN CLOVER AND WHEN THEY LOOK US OVER I'LL BE THE PROUDEST FELLOW IN THE EASTER PARADE

LADIES

ON THE AVENUE

ALL FIFTH AVENUE THE PHOTOGRAPHERS WILL SNAP US AND YOU'LL FIND THAT YOU’RE IN THE ROTOTGRAVURE OH, I COULD WRITE A SONNET

MEN ABOUT YOUR EASTER BONNET AND OF THE GIRL I'M TAKING TO THE EASTER PARADE

JIM and EILEEN stroll to DC imitating and mocking the others.

ALL ON THE AVENUE FIFTH AVENUE THE PHOTOGRAPHERS WILL SNAP US AND YOU'LL FIND THAT YOU'RE IN THE ROTOTGRAVURE OH, I COULD WRITE A SONNET

Eileen hooks arms with GEORGE and GINGER hooks arms with Eileen. GINGER thinks it’s GEORGE.

MEN ABOUT YOUR EASTER BONNET

ALEX, SADIE EXIT R1, GEORGE, and GINGER exit L1, leaving JIM and EILEEN on stage.

JIM AND OF THE GIRL I'M TAKING TO THE EASTER PAR--

(#52: "LET'S GO SLUMMIN"') EILEEN

(Grabbing JIM) LET'S GO SLUMMIN' TAKE ME SLUMMIN’ LETS GO SLUMMIN’ ON PARK AVENUE! LET US HIDE BEHIND A PAIR OF COLORED GLASSES AND MAKE FACES AS A MEMBER OF THE CLASSES PASSES

LET'S GO SMELLING WHERE THEY'RE DWELLING SNIFFING EVERYTHING THE WAY THEY DO LET US GO TO IT

THEY DO IT WHY CAN'T WE DO IT, TOO? LET'S GO SLUMMIN' NOSE-THUMBIN' ON PARK AVENUE

Dance Break

During the dance break, EILEEN leads JIM in an energetic and athletic dance.

JIM LET'S G0 SLUMMIN' NOSE-THUMBIN' ON PARK AVENUE

JIM AND EILEEN LET US GO TO IT THEY DO IT WHY CAN'T WE DO IT, TOO? LET’S GO SLUMMIN’ NOSE-THUMBIN' ON PARK AVENUE------------!

JIM and EILEEN dance off L1.

(#54: "LAZY") (Projections: restore junkyard)

Three piano movers, GEORGE, ALEX and GINGER, enter from R2 and cross to piano. They make a futile attempt to move it. They look at each other, GINGER sits on the crate DS of the piano and ALEX X’s SR of piano with GEORGE SL of piano. And sing.

GEORGE, GINGER AND ALEX LAZY I WANT TO BE LAZY I LONG TO BE OUT IN THE SUN WITH NO WORK TO BE DONE UNDER THAT AWNING I CALL THE SKY STRETCHING AND YAWING AND WATCH THE WORLD GO DRIFTING BY

I WANNA PEEP THROUGH THE DEEP, TANGLED WILDWOOD COUNTING SHEEP 'TILL I SLEEP LIKE A CHILD WOULD WITH A GREAT BIG VALISE FULL

OF BOOKS TO READ WHERE IT'S PEACEFUL WHILE I'M KILLING TIME BEING LAZY

Instrumental Break

During the instrumental break, the PIANO MOVERS' play the piano, wood block, Ukulele and kazoo.

I WANNA PEEP THRU THE DEEP, TANGLED WILD WOOD COUNTING SHEEP 'TILL I SLEEP LIKE A CHILD WOULD WITH A GREAT BIG VALISE FULL OF BOOKS TO READ WHERE IT'S PEACEFUL WHILE I'M KILLIN' TIME BEIN'

GINGER climbs on to the top of the piano and begins to sleep as ALEX and GEORGE begin to push the piano SL2.

LA ---------- ZY.

They exit pushing piano off L2 on upper platform.

Blackout

ACT 2

SCENE 3, A MIDWEST SUMMER STOCK THEATER, LATE 1950’S

We see nothing except for a dimly lit ghost light CS, GEORGE, the resident summer stock star, steps into his ghost light, and using it as a mic sings "THE GIRL THAT I MARRY". He sings it a cappella, vocalizing and adoring himself. As the rest of the lights come up, we see the Director, ALEX, entering on from L1, ALEX crosses to the table SR. His assistant, JIM, enters from L1 with a clipboard and the Rolling ladder. ALEX is a little edgy. He is driven crazy by the daily hordes of hopefuls that plague him. He is holding auditions for a summer stock production of "ANNIE GET YOUR GUN". GEORGE, the resident leading man, has already been cast as FRANK BUTLER. The show was, in fact, chosen as a vehicle for him. GEORGE is arrogant, cocky and very grand. All of this is, of course, to mask an ocean of insecurity. He is here to sing with, and grant final approval of his leading lady.

(Projections: Daytime barn, interior)

GEORGE THE GIRL THAT I MARRY WILL HAVE TO BE AS SOFT AND AS PINK AS A NURSERY. THE GIRL I CALL MY OWN WILL WEAR SATINES AND LACES AND SMELL OF COLOGNE. ALEX

George HER NAILS WILL BE POLISHED AND, IN HER HAIR

SHE’LL WEAR A GARDENIA AND I’LL BE THERE George

STEAD OF FLITTIN’, I’LL BE SITTIN’ NEXT TO HER AND SHE’LL PURR LIKE A KITTEN George!!

GEORGE (Pause…then very fast)

A DOLL THAT I CAN CARRY, THE GIRL THAT I MARRY MUST BE.

JIM (Entering from L1 and crossing to ALEX)

You are going to be thrilled, just what you are looking for, perfect for the show.

GEORGE You found her?

JIM

I sure did, from 1910, looks even older, perfect for you.

GEORGE (The outraged Prima Donna)

Alex!

ALEX Yes George?

GEORGE 1910, makes my leading lady almost fifty.

ALEX (Clearing this up)

George . . . we were talking about the PIANO.

GEORGE (Trying to cover his embarrassment)

Steinway? (But then quickly whining)

Alex, my leading lady.

Jim exits SR.

ALEX Don't worry, George. We'll find you a leading lady. I've got some terrific women lined up. But the role of Annie Oakley is a difficult role to cast. She's got to sing well.

GEORGE Right. But not too well.

ALEX Of course not. She's got to have a strong presence.

GEORGE Right. But not too strong.

ALEX Of course not.

JIM (Entering from DR1 and handing them the coffee)

Cream with sugar. Black with no sugar.

JIM crosses off L1

ALEX And she's got to be pretty.

GEORGE Right. But not too--

ALEX George! This is "ANNIE Get Your Gun", not "FRANK Get Your Gun"!

GEORGE

(Embarrassed) I knew that.

They take a sip of coffee. It's wrong. They switch, SADIE enters from L1 in a flurry, carrying her 8xlO glossy.

SADIE Alex!

GEORGE (To ALEX, referring to SADIE)

1910!

ALEX Sadie, what are you doing here?

SADIE What do you think I’m doing here? Auditioning!

(Handing him 8XIO) I'm a singer who moves.

ALEX Well, then

SADIE Alex, I think we're mature enough to let bygones be bygones. I’m perfect for the part.

GEORGE (Whispering to Alex)

No, noo, (SADIE turns to GEORGE and he acts as if there’s something wrong with his arm.)

Ooo, ooo, ooo.

SADIE Oh,

GEORGE Ooo…

SADIE Oh

JIM (Entering from DL1)

Piano's coming. It’s gorgeous. Real old. I found it in a junkyard. Can ya believe that? A junkyard. All those years, all that history . . . and someone was just gonna throw it away.

Jim exits L.

SADIE (To ALEX)

Imagine that.

ALEX Sadie…

SADIE

Let me audition, Alex.

ALEX Sadie, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to—

SADIE The past is the past, what's done is done; now siddown and listen to me sing!

ALEX You're too early. The piano isn't even here yet.

She blows an E flat on a pitch pipe and sings a capella. JIM rolls piano on from L1. ALEX crosses into house.

(#55: "THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS") SADIE

THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW

JIM moves piano upstage of SADIE, who remains oblivious to their presence. JIM signals to ALEX from US of SADIE that it's here and "where do you want it?"

ALEX (Referring to piano)

No, move it up.

JIM moves Piano upstage.

SADIE (Thinks he's talking to her and sings an octave higher)

THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW

ALEX No, bring it back down.

He does.

SADIE (A la Lauren Bacall)

THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS

ALEX Not too far!

He moves it back up a bit.

SADIE (Raising the pitch a bit)

LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW

ALEX Good! Now, turn it around.

He turns it.

SADIE (Pivoting in place)

EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS APPEALING

ALEX Nice cabinet!

SADIE Thanks!

EVERYTHING THE TRAFFIC WILL ALLOW

The dialogue between ALEX and JIM continues as does SADIE'S assumption that it's meant for her.

ALEX What's wrong with the right leg? It looks wobbly.

SADIE (Checking her leg.)

NOWHERE COULD YOU GET THAT HAPPY FEELING

ALEX Open it up.

He opens the lid.

SADIE (Like Merman)

WHEN YOU ARE STEALING THAT EXTRA BOW THERE'S NO PEOPLE LIKE SHOW PEOPLE

ALEX Let's see those ivories!

SADIE (Grotesque smile)

THEY SMILE WHEN THEY ARE LOW

JIM accompanies.

ALEX Move it left.

GEORGE pushes the piano R.

SADIE (“Shuffling of to Buffalo" L)

EVEN WITH A TURKEY THAT YOU KNOW WILL FOLD YOU MAY BE STRANDED OUT IN THE COLD

ALEX No, no, no, the other way!

SADIE

("Trenches" moving R) STILL YOU WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR A SACK OF GOLD LET'S GO ON WITH THE SHOW— LET’S ---

JIM

(referring to piano) Old enough?

ALEX Any older and it'd fall apart!

SADIE I beg your pardon!

JIM finishes song on piano really fast. JIM motions EILEEN on stage from R1, He also moves the trunk from R to DS of the piano, JIM sits on trunk to accompany auditions. EILEEN enters frantically for her audition. She crosses to SADIE.

ALEX Sadie, I was talking about the

SADIE Forget it, Alex. Look, I don’t want any special consideration. I would like to be treated just like all the other girls.

ALEX Next!

EILEEN hands Resume and headshot to SADIE and crosses to the piano and slaps her music down in front of JIM. He plays. Band begins playing.

(#56: "THEY SAY IT'S WONDERFUL") EILEEN

(A very stagy audition) THEY SAY THAT FALLING IN LOVE IS WONDERFUL

A spotlight hits EILEEN

IT'S WONDERFUL (EILEEN gestures with her left hand and hits JIM)

Sorry. SO THEY SAY

EILEEN looses her balance and falls on the piano keys.

AND WITH THE MOON UP ABOVE

EILEEN, again gestures with her left hand, but this time JIM ducks and she misses him.

The lights begin to go wacky. The spotlight moves to ALEX.

IT'S WONDERFUL IT'S WONDERFUL

ALEX (Toward the light booth blinded by the white spotlight)

Hey! Who's fooling around with the lights?

EILEEN SO THEY TELL ME

Spotlight lands on SADIE, L, and then changes colors. GEORGE see’s this and gets into the spot. The spot then moves across the stage.

YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE ONE MORNING AND WITHOUT ANY WARNING

Spotlight moves back to EILEEN

YOU'RE STOPPING PEOPLE SHOUTING THAT LOVE IS GRAND

GEORGE steps into EILEEN'S light.

EILEEN AND GEORGE AND TO HOLD A MAN IN YOUR ARMS IS WONDERFUL WONDERFUL IN EVERY WAY AS THEY SAY

GINGER enters for her audition from R1 with music, resume and headshot.

GEORGE She's perfect!

ALEX Next!

GINGER hands SADIE her resume.

GINGER Thanks!

SADIE throws it at ALEX. GINGER crosses to JIM at piano and hands him her music.

(#57: "ANYTHING YOU CAN DO") GINGER

ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU

GEORGE

NO YOU CAN'T

GINGER YES I CAN

GEORGE NO YOU CAN'T

GINGER YES I CAN

GEORGE NO YOU CAN’T

GINGER YES I CAN! YES I CAN!

GEORGE ANYTHING YOU CAN BE I CAN BE GREATER SOONER OR LATER I'M GREATER THAN YOU

GINGER NO YOU'RE NOT

GEORGE YES I AM

GINGER NO YOU’RE NOT

GEORGE YES I AM

GINGER NO YOU'RE NOT

GEORGE YES I AM! YES I AM!

I CAN SHOOT A PARTRIDGE WITH A SINGLE CARTRIDGE

GINGER I CAN GET A SPARROW WITH A BOW AND ARROW

I CAN LIVE ON BREAD AND CHEESE

EILEEN AND ONLY ON THAT

GINGER YES!

EILEEN SO CAN A RAT!

EILEEN (CONT'D)

ANYTHING YOU CAN SING I CAN SING HIGHER I CAN SING ANYTHING HIGHER THAN YOU

GINGER NO YOU CAN'T

EILEEN YES I CAN

GINGER NO YOU CAN'T

EILEEN YES I CAN

GINGER NO YOU CAN’T

EILEEN YES I CAN

GINGER NO YOU CAN’T-----

EILEEN OH YES I CAN-----!

VAMP. They square off.

GINGER ANYTHING YOU CAN BUY I CAN BUY CHEAPER I CAN BUY ANYTHING CHEAPER THAN YOU

EILEEN FIFTY CENTS

GINGER FORTY CENTS

EILEEN THIRTY CENTS

GINGER TWENTY CENTS

EILEEN NO YOU CAN’T

GINGER YES I CAN! YES I CAN!

EILEEN ANYTHING YOU CAN SAY I CAN SAY SOFTER

GINGER

I CAN SAY ANYTHING SOFTER THAN YOU

EILEEN NO YOU CAN'T

GINGER YES I CAN

EILEEN NO YOU CAN'T

GINGER YES I CAN

EILEEN NO YOU CAN'T

GINGER YES I CAN!

(Belting at the top of her lungs) YES I CAN!!!!

I CAN DRINK MY LIQUOR FASTER THAN A FLICKER

EILEEN I CAN DRINK IT QUICKER AND GET EVEN SICKER

GINGER I CAN OPEN ANY SAFE

SADIE WITHOUT BEING CAUGHT?

GINGER Sure

SADIE That’s what I thought, you crook!

ANY NOTE YOU CAN HOLD I CAN HOLD LONGER

SADIE I CAN HOLD ANY NOTE LONGER THAN YOU

EILEEN NO YOU CAN’T

SADIE YES I CAN

GINGER NO YOU CAN’T

SADIE

YES I CAN

GINGER AND EILEEN NO YOU CAN'T

SADIE YES I CAN

GEORGE has crossed to ALEX for consultation about his costume, which he got from ladder.

GINGER AND EILEEN NO YOU------------

SADIE (Continuing)

YES I--------- CAN!

GEORGE (To ALEX)

YES SHE CAN!

A take to GEORGE. They've taken over his song.

SADIE ANYTHING YOU CAN WEAR I CAN WEAR BETTER IN WHAT YOU WEAR I LOOK BETTER THAN YOU

EILEEN IN MY COAT

SADIE IN YOUR DRESS

GINGER IN MY SHOES?

SADIE IN YOUR HAT

EILEEN AND GINGER NO YOU CAN’T!

SADIE YES I CAN! YES I CAN!

GINGER ANYTHING YOU CAN SAY I CAN SAY FASTER

SADIE AND EILEEN I CAN SAY ANYTHING FASTER THAN YOU

GINGER

NO YOU CAN’T

EILEEN AND SADIE YES I CAN

GINGER NO YOU CAN'T

EILEEN AND SADIE YES I CAN

GINGER NO YOU CAN'T

ALL 3 (Jumbling together as many as Possible.)

YEESESSESEES I CAN

SADIE I CAN JUMP A HURDLE

GINGER I CAN WEAR A GIRDLE

EILEEN I CAN KNIT A SWEATER

SADIE I CAN FILL IT BETTER

ALL I CAN DO MOST ANYTHING

SADIE Can you bake a Pie?

EILEEN AND GINGER No.

SADIE Neither can I

EILEEN ANYTHING YOU CAN SING I CAN SING SWEETER

GINGER I CAN SING ANYTHING SWEETER THAN YOU

SADIE (Sweet)

NO YOU CAN'T

EILEEN (Saccharin)

YES I CAN

GINGER

(Cloying) NO YOU CAN'T

SADIE (Indulgent)

YES I CAN


SADIE YES I CAN


SADIE YES I CAN

GINGER AND EILEEN (Angry)

NO YOU CAN’T, CAN’T, CAN’T!

SADIE YES I CAN! CAN! CAN!

ALL (Screaming divas)

YES I CAN --------- II!!

ALEX Thank you ladies, I believe I have you on file--

GEORGE Crosses SL as GINGER stops him at L. She’s hoping that cozying up to the star will help her get the part.

(Projections: shift to night barn, interior)

(#58: "I GOT LOST IN HIS ARMS") GINGER

DON'T ASK ME JUST HOW IT HAPPENED I WISH I KNEW

ADD EILEEN (Crossing to GEORGE, now competing romantically for GEORGE to get the part.)

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT HAPPENED

ADD SADIE (Falling off the piano, crossing to GEORGE and playing the same game)

AND STILL IT'S TRUE

ALEX is bored and is reading a newspaper.

WOMEN

(In 3 part harmony) I GOT LOST IN HIS ARMS AND I HAD TO STAY IT WAS DARK IN HIS ARMS AND I LOST MY WAY FROM THE DARK CAME A VOICE AND IT SEEMED TO SAY THERE YOU GO

SADIE, US of GEORGE on the ladder, pulls his head back.

THERE YOU GO

HOW I FELT AS I FELL I JUST CAN'T RECALL BUT HIS ARMS HELD ME FAST AND IT BROKE THE FALL AND I SAID TO MY HEART AS IT FOOLISHLY KEPT JUMPING ALL AROUND I GOT LOST BUT LOOK WHAT I FOUND

They are all romantically surrounding GEORGE. He is in his glory ... until he sees SADIE'S face next to his. JIM is striking theater trunk off L1, he re-enters crosses to the piano and moves it DS to its finale spike.

ALEX Ladies, that was lovely. I’ll be letting people know within the next week.

JIM is striking theater trunk off L1, he re-enters crosses to the piano and moves it DS to its finale spike

Not ready to give up, they pursue ALEX relentlessly. He is tortured.

(#59: "THE BEST THING FOR YOU") LADIES

(In tight three-part swing) I ONLY WANT WHAT'S THE BEST THING FOR YOU AND THE BEST THING FOR YOU WOULD BE ME

I'VE BEEN CONVINCED AFTER THINKING IT THROUGH THAT THE BEST THING FOR YOU WOULD BE ME

ALEX (To JIM)

Bring me a Bromo! I think I'm getting a second ulcer!

JIM exits R1.

LADIES EVERYDAY TO MYSELF I SAY POINT THE WAY WHAT'LL IT BE?

I ASK MYSELF WHAT'S THE BEST THING FOR YOU AND MYSELF AND I SEEM TO AGREE THAT THE BEST THING FOR YOU WOULD BE ME

EILEEN BEST THING FOR YOU WOULD BE ME

GINGER BEST THING FOR YOU WOULD BE ME

SADIE BEST THING FOR YOU WOULD BE—

ALEX Stop!!!!!!!

Silence

Everybody out!

EILEEN exits R1. GINGER grabs costume from ladder and exits L1. GEORGE crosses gingerly to ALEX with his costume to ask a question.

ALEX Everybody!!!!

GEORGE exits R2. JIM reenters with Bromo. SADIE takes it from him and pushes him offstage. She remains on stage unbeknownst to ALEX.

(#60: "YOU'RE JUST IN LOVE" / #61: "OLD FASHIONED WEDDING") ALEX, on the very edge of a nervous breakdown, sits DC on the lip of the stage. He tries very hard to hold himself together. He sings.

ALEX I HEAR SINGING AND THERE'S NO ONE THERE I SMELL BLOSSOMS AND THE TREES ARE BARE ALL DAY LONG I SEEM TO WALK ON AIR I WONDER WHY? I WONDER WHY?

I KEEP TOSSING IN MY SLEEP AT NIGHT AND WHAT'S MORE I'VE LOST MY APPETITE STARS THAT USED TO TWINKLE IN THE SKIES

ARE TWINKLING IN MY EYES I WONDER WHY

SADIE SADIE Crosses to US of ALEX and hands him the Bromo.

ALEX (Thinking it’s JIM)

Thank you.

SADIE YOU DON'T NEED ANALYZING

Realizing it’s SADIE, ALEX goes into shock. The remainder of number is staged with ALEX trying to escape SADIE’S manipulations.

IT IS NOT SO SURPRISING THAT YOU FEEL VERY STRANGE BUT NICE YOU’RE HEART GOES PITTER PATTER I KNOW JUST WHAT'S THE MATTER BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE ONCE OR TWICE

PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO'S OLDER A RUBDOWN WITH A VELVET GLOVE THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN TAKE TO RELIEVE THAT PLEASANT ACHE YOU'RE NOT SICK YOU’RE JUST IN LOVE!

ALEX SADIE I HEAR SINGING YA DON’T NEED ANALYZING AND THERE'S NO ONE THERE IT IS NOT SO SURPRISING I SMELL BLOSSOMS THAT YOU FEEL AND THE TREES ARE BARE VERY STRANGE BUT NICE ALL DAY LONG YOU’RE HEART GOES PITTER PATTER I SEEM TO WALK ON AIR I KNOW JUST WHAT'S THE MATTER I WONDER WHY? BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE I WONDER WHY? ONCE OR TWICE

I KEEP TOSSING PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER IN MY SLEEP AT NIGHT YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO'S OLDER AND WHAT’S MORE A RUBDOWN WITH A VELVET GLOVE I’VE LOST MY APPETITE THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN TAKE STARS THAT USED TO TWINKLE TO RELIEVE THAT PLEASANT ACHE IN THE SKIES YOU'RE NOT SICK ARE TWINKLING IN MY EYES YOU’RE JUST I WONDER WHY IN LOVE

(Projections: Blue wash)

GEORGE enters from R2 as Frank Butler as GINGER enters from L2 dressed as Annie Oakley. ALEX crosses to the table and sits. SAIDE crosses to the rolling ladder and sits.

GEORGE WE'LL HAVE AN OLD-FASHIONED WEDDING BLESSED IN THE GOOD OLD-FASHIONED WAY I'LL VOW TO LOVE YOU FOREVER YOU’LL VOW TO LOVE AND HONOR AND OBEY SOMEWHERE IN SOME LITTLE CHAPEL SOMEDAY WHEN ORANGE BLOSSOMS BLOOM WE’LL HAVE AN OLD-FASHIONED WEDDING A SIMPLE WEDDING FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED BRIDE AND GROOM

GINGER I WANNA WEDDING IN A BIG CHURCH WITH BRIDES MAIDS AND FLOWER GIRLS A LOT OF USHERS IN TAILCOATS REPORTERS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS A CEREMONY WITH A BISHOP WHO WILL TIE THE KNOT AND SAY DO YOU AGREE TO LOVE AND HONOR LOVE AND HONOR "YES" BUT NOT OBEY

GEORGE GINGER SOMEWHERE I WANNA WEDDING RING IN SOME LITTLE CHAPEL SURROUNDED

BY DIAMONDS AND PLATINUM SOMEDAY A BIG RECEPTION WHEN ORANGE BLOSSOMS BLOOM AT THE WALDORF

WITH CHAMPAGNE AND CAVIAR WE’LL HAVE AN OLD-FASHIONED I WANNA WEDDING WEDDING LIKE THE VANDERBILTS HAD

EVERYTHING BIG NOT SMALL A SIMPLE WEDDING IF I CAN'T HAVE FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED THAT KIND OF A WEDDING BRIDE I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED AND GROOM AT ALL

The following chorus is sung in four-part counterpoint.

ALEX SADIE GEORGE GINGER I HEAR... YOU DON'T... WE'LL HAVE... I WANNA

WEDDING...

Etc.

I WONDER WHY? YOU'RE NOT SICK YOU'RE JUST IN LOVE

WE'LL HAVE AN OLD-FASHIONED WEDDING

IF IT'S NOT A BIG I DON'T WANNA GET MARRIED AT ALL

(Projections: ANNIE GET YOUR GUN tent drop)

(#62: "THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS") JIM

(Entering from R1 with EILEEN and crossing to others DC) THE COSTUMES THE SCENERY THE MAKE-UP THE PROPS THE AUDIENCE THAT LIFTS YOU WHEN YOU'RE DOWN

ALEX THE HEADACHES THE HEARTACHES THE BACKACHES THE FLOPS

SADIE THE SHERIFF WHO ESCORTS YOU OUT OF TOWN

GEORGE THE OP'NING WHEN YOUR HEART BEATS LIKE A DRUM

GINGER THE CLOSING WHEN THE CUSTOMERS WON'T COME

ALL THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS APPEALING EVERYTHING THE TRAFFIC WILL ALLOW NOWHERE CAN YOU GET THAT HAPPY FEELING WHEN YOU ARE STEALING THAT EXTRA BOW

THERE'S NO PEOPLE LIKE SHOW PEOPLE THEY SMILE WHEN THEY ARE LOW EVEN WITH A TURKEY THAT YOU KNOW WILL FOLD YOU MAY BE STRANDED OUT IN THE COLD STILL YOU WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR A SACK OF GOLD LET'S GO ON WITH THE SHOW

(Projections: Show Biz searchlights)

Stop-time

ALL THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW

SADIE/ALEX YOU GET WORD BEFORE THE SHOW HAS STARTED

GINGER/GEORGE THAT YOUR FAVORITE UNCLE DIED AT DAWN

EILEEN/JIM TOP OF THAT YOUR MA AND PA HAVE PARTED

ALL YOU'RE BROKEN HEARTED

SADIE BUT YOU GO ON

ALL THERE'S NO PEOPLE'LIKE SHOW PEOPLE

GINGER, GEORGE, Exit R1.

THEY SMILE WHEN THEY ARE LOW YESTERDAY THEY TOLD YOU YOU WOULD NOT GO FAR

JIM and Eileen exit l1.

THAT NIGHT YOU OPENED AND THERE YOU ARE NEXT DAY ON YOUR DRESSING ROOM THEY’VE HUNG A STAR LET'S GO ON WITH THE SHOW

SADIE LET’S GO ON WITH THE SHOW---------!

ALEX and SADIE exit R1. Blackout. Electrics pipe flies out.

(Projections: Blackout)

ACT 2

FINALE

The piano is in a pool of light in the center of the stage as in the opening of the show. GINGER is discovered in the light of the piano and sings.

(Projections: Deep blue wash)

(#63: "I LOVE A PIANO") GINGER

AS A CHILD I WENT WILD WHEN THE BAND PLAYED HOW I RAN TO THE MAN WHEN HIS HAND SWAYED CLARINETS WERE MY PETS AND THE SLIDE TROMBONE I THOUGHT WAS SIMPLY DIVINE

BUT TODAY WHEN THEY PLAY I COULD HISS THEM EV'RY BAR IS A JAR TO MY SYSTEM BUT THERE'S ONE MUSICAL INSTRUMENT THAT I CALL MINE...

PIANO

Piano Plays Melody

GINGER I LOVE A PIANO

PIANO

Piano Plays Melody

GINGER I LOVE A PIANO

PIANO

Piano Plays Melody

GINGER I LOVE TO HEAR SOMEBODY PLAY UPON A PIANO A GRAND PIANO IT SIMPLY CARRIES ME AWAY

ADD GEORGE

(Entering from R3) I KNOW A FINE WAY TO TREAT A STEINWAY

ADD JIM AND EILEEN (Entering from L2)

I LOVE TO RUN MY FINGERS O’ER THE KEYS

ADD ALEX AND SADIE (Entering from R2)

THE IVORIES

ALL AND WITH THE PEDAL I LONG TO MEDDLE WHEN PADEREWSKI COMES MY WAY I'M SO DELIGHTED IF I'M INVITED TO HEAR THAT LONG-HAIRED GENIUS PLAY SO YOU CAN KEEP YOUR FIDDLE AND YOUR BOW GIVE ME A P-I-A-N-O OH! OH!

MEN I LOVE A PIANO

WOMEN

(Echoing)

I LOVE A PIANO

MEN I LOVE A PIANO

WOMEN I LOVE A PIANO

ALL I LOVE TO HEAR SOMEBODY PLAY

WOMEN UPON THE PIANO

MEN UPON THE PIANO

WOMEN A GRAND PIANO

MEN A GRAND PIANO

ALL IT SIMPLY CARRIES ME AWAY

I KNOW A FINE WAY TO TREAT A STEINWAY I LOVE TO RUN MY FINGERS O’RE THE KEYS

Piano does a fancy run.

THE IVORIES

Piano does a flourish.

AND WITH THE PEDAL I LOVE TO MEDDLE WHEN PADEREWSKI COMES MY WAY I’M SO DELIGHTED IF I’M INVITED TO HEAR THAT LONG-HAIRED GENIUS PLAY SO YOU CAN KEEP YOUR FIDDLE AND YOUR BOW GIVE ME A P-I-A-N-O OH! OH!

The piano has the final word and hits the two bad notes. The cast crosses US to the piano acknowledges the piano and EXITS. The piano finishes the song alone in the pool of light, which fades to black as the music ends.

(#64: BOWS, "I LOVE A PIANO") ALL reenter for bows.

ALL SO YOU CAN KEEP YOUR FIDDLE AND YOUR BOW GIVE ME A P-I-A-N-O OH! OH! I WANT TO STOP RIGHT BESIDE AN UPRIGHT OR A HIGHTONED BABY GRAND OR A HIGHTONED BABY GRAND---------!!!!

They exit. GEORGE and GINGER L1, JIM and EILEEN R1, SADIE and JIM R2.

(Projections: Logo)

THE END

PROPS LIST

Small upright piano on casters - keys move, not working

Piano Bench Moving blanket for piano Bent wood chair Counter on casters - to be built Ornate cash register 1910 telephone _ Candlestick type Rolling rack of sheet music - to be built Sheet music with painted fronts from Tin Pan Alley

Broken Ukulele Ladies shoes from 1920's Various 'Going out of bil5ines8' Signs - to be determined

1920's Megaphone Cigar Necklace Liquor bottles to be hidden inside piano

1930's newspapers Apple crate for apple Seller apples Loaf of broad 6 theater seats on casters - to be built

Popcorn boxes Dance Marathon numbers (costumes)

Army Cot Pillow Blanket Foot looker Photograph of Eileen in frame Christmas card Pen Teddy Bear Rifle - WWII Field radio - WWII Christmas decorations - 1940'5 Small Christmas tree for on top of piano Radio - inside canteen - tabletop Philco-style

Crate paper Champagne Bottles Champagne glasses Sheet for Piano - white Captain’s hat

Army blanket Candelabra made from Junk - plumbing fixture hubcap - 1950's serving tray for under hubcap 2 plates Platter Carrot Hobo bags 2 Paper coffee cups Theater trunk Rolling ladder

Practical electrics baton with old Fre5nel$ - to be built

Variety - 1950's Bomo seltzer in glass of water

Pitch Pipe Costume Piece, in trunk - cowboy and cowgirl costume with hats

Clipboard Pencils Plain sheet music 2-umbrellai3 - black - working, in good shape, 1930's 1-Tattered umbrella - black (or brown) _ must go inside out 1-limbrella - brown (or blue) in good shape, 1930'5 Rolling ladder - theatrical 5 - hymnals

i love a piano irving berlin - backstage

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