I am Mr. Owens and I love Physics

There’s no such thing as centrifugal force, but I’m still gonna teach it because

I like to confuse my students, dur-hur.

Go Panthers!

I don’t even know who they are…do you?

The car is moving in the negative direction with a negative velocity, so it is actually accelerating… or is it? Ha Ha. I don’t even know what I’m talking about!

This may or may not be on the test. You’ll never know, until you fail.

Exhibit A: One of my confused students, who is baffled by my take on Physics and my incessant

babbling.

Me riding a giant penis…j/k!Or am I?

The tractor is moving at 1m/s2

This means it is moving at one meter per second per second. NOT one meter per second each second; silly students!

Now I’m confused!

What am I saying?!

HC…How Come?

This is why we study physics, children, so we can answer such pertinent questions as these.

Why the hell is that walrus thing doing that? Erm, never mind, then, moving on to resistance distance…

I know I’m not really teaching you students anything, but I still

expect you to pay attention.

I can’t confuse you if you don’t listen, blast it!!!

Yes! David is confused.He also is dressed like a white

man.

Look its Cameron Decker

I love physics! And Mr. Owens!

Wow, students! It’d be nice if both could sit on the same side,

maybe on each other’s laps!

Maybe they could’ve figured it out if it wasn’t for that damn

fudge factor.

By the way students, I like to pack fudge if you know what I mean. Har har!

Look it’s Mrs. Bawnes

Good God!! Who’s that guy? Maybe its Daniel R-ra…

The Scientific Calculator, I mean, er, grphngabrgh

calculagarahgh is brgf afargrr gabrnabungrfr

Right Students? Intelligense? In other words, do you understand?

WTF did he just say?

I have a dream!That no student will pass… Ha

Ha!

This is the spitting image of Owens…we only need the shoulder movement.

Now Students, If you were to kick a chair on the moon and stub your toe, you

would go into cardiac arrest and die.

Ahhhhhhhh! Dammit I stubbed my toe. I’m gonna die! Please help me…

But, Mr. Owens, all planets are created

equal right??

Yes, son, all planets except your anus. Hardy-har-har!

Have you students studied your resistance distance

yet? Muahah…either way, you won’t be able to

resist failing this test! I own you!

Owens: “Students, prepare for the first nine weeks test. By not preparing for it. Because you can’t possibly prepare for something you haven’t been afforded any preparation for. Muhahah! Does my professorial logic befuddle you?

Students: “But Mr. Owens, you’re not a professor!”

Owens: “Um, zip it before I, er, sodomize you all.”