I act

I make conclusions (determine positions)

I study a problem (make suggestions)

I select data (what I find important)

I study data (what was said and done)

Tell about your “ladder of deduction”, encourage the audience to ask questions, help others to tell about their ladder of conclusions

Ladder of conclusions

DeductionInduction

Communication = Co-education:

Actions that IMPEDE learning :

•Let’s say you know everything you need to resolve a problem.

•State conclusions as facts

•State your views in abstract, meaning-loaded terms

•Focus on protecting your views.

•Listen to contradict their views.

•Set a question into the frames either bad or good.

•Grab the information confirming your views.

Effective Communication

Communication=Co-education

Actions contributing to education:• Take into account all the gaps you have.

• State conclusions as hypotheses subject to verification.

• Defend argumentation and information that lead you to your views.

• Question their argumentation and data.

• Refrain from condemnation until you understand their viewpoint.

• Be competent to express ambitendency.

• Be open to information that can change your vies.

Effective Communication

Как достичь лучшего взаимопонимания

Achieving a Better Understanding

Mutual understanding

To think

To do

of how to be open

of how to feel sympathy

To listen

To ask questions

Открытость

Openness

You will be able to act OPENLY if :

• You admit that your current perception of a question has flaws

Find your own :

– “Blind spot”

– Biased opinion

• Try to clearly imagine ambiguousness and complexity of position

– Avoid simplifying a situation

– Do not try to put on confidence

Причины предвзятоговосприятия

Causes of Partisan Perceptions

We selectively remember what we want

We selectively recall what we have remembered

We change our reminiscences according to our preferences

Our reminiscences create a basis for perception of a new information that confirms previous opinions

Причины предвзятоговосприятия

Causes of Partisan Perception

We observe and handle information in different ways

We have diverse interests

We gather evidences that confirm previously formed

opinions

We ignore or reject data that does not correspond to

our opinion

We selectively infiltrate information we receive

Dealing with Partisan perceptions

Tune your mind to comprehension • Assume that both we and they reveal partisan

perception

• Try to understand and show comprehension prior to trying to be understood

Try to achieve “comprehension” by joint efforts

• Set yourself up to discussion of various opinions from the very beginning

• Perceive interdependence

Как решать проблему предвзятости восприятия

Dealing with Partisan perceptions

Look for facts, try to perceive logic

• Specify the facts you need; find out what facts interest them

• Discuss who each party interprets facts and makes conclusions

Create new views instead of struggling for old ones

• Look for the facts that are contradictory to your views as well as to theirs

• Avoid being assertive when laying out facts confirming you are right

• Lay out facts in a new way

СистемаРезультата/Намерения

The Impact/Intention System We judge of intentions of others according to

their behavior’s impact on us.

We often ascribe “the worst intentions” to the other side when we feel aggrieved

When we have good intentions we tend to consider the impact as “misunderstanding” or something not significant.

Intention Consequence

Result

Guiltvs.Involvement

Your involvement

My involvement

Move from laying a blame …

…to understanding of mutual involvement

Your guilt

Your guilt

Empathy / Sympathy

Sympathy to thoughts of other people is important for understanding a situation

To achieve sympathetic understanding:

• Put yourself in someone’s place

– What happened to that person?

– How did it affect his/her views?

• Imagine how the events could have been

retold :

– What is the other party’s vision of the

conflict?

– From the perspective of the third party?

PERCEPTION CAUTION: Perception does not mean Consent!

• Do not walk back from your current perception – hold to this as a hypotheses

• Through the dialog start building new perception in light of what you have learned.

1. Contributes to changes in their relationships

2. Satisfies their key interests – to be listened

3. The best opportunity for you to get them listen to you

4. Improves relationships

Why it is important to be able to listen

Condemnation

“It is not right to do what you do; and your information is wrong”

Defense

”Yes, but it’s not my fault!”

Advice offering

”All this is so obvious you just should do the following…”

Side thoughts

”Will there be enough food for all guests…”

Typical thoughts accompanying “listening”

Goals Listen and understand others Help them make sure you understand them

What to do

• Make your inner voice “muted”(do not blame, do not protect yourself,

refrain from offering advices)

• Listen for the purpose of learning something new

• Practice a reverse periphrasis (Perception does not mean consent)

• Ask questions – check your assumptions

• Listen to your heart and what was left unsaid

• Work out your own style

Active listening

1. Emotional situations2. Communication is impeded3. You are not sure you

understand4. They do not listen to you

When to listen to actively

Balance between protection of a position and statement of explanatory questions

Verbalism

• excessive didacticism

• dictate

Alerting observancy

• to shun a discussion

• secrecy

Excessive curiousity

• compliance

• “questioning”

Proficiently conducted dialog

Statement of explanatory questionsLow High

When telling about your “ladder” try to find balance between protection of position and studying the matter; help others do the same

Pro

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of

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GoalsTo find out how the other party looks at things

To get missing information

To help the other party to get heard

Four types of questions

1. Yes/No Questions: “Do you think the UN has done well?”

2. Position check Question : “I think everybody will be agree… won’t they?”

3. Clarifying a position : “What do you mean when speaking of…?”

4. Open questions: “Would you give your more detailed view on…”, “What made you think that…”

Statement of a question

First and second-type questions usually lead to cessation of communication

Third and fourth-type questions open a way to communication

What to do

• Ask open questions and questions clarifying the situation.

• Avoid questions such as: “Избегайте вопросов типа: “I think everybody will be agree… won’t they?”

• Make questions for the purpose of knowing, not to convince

Statement of a question (cont.)