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BEATING
THE demons
The 6 Principles of
Self Mastery
For Those Who Want to
Get More Done
This book is available for purchase at www.BeTheFire.com
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By Dan Boe
Copyright © 2010 by Dan Boe
All rights reserved. No part of this
publication may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted in any form
or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopy, recording or otherwise, without
prior written permission from Dan Boe, San
Diego, CA with the exception of short
excerpts used with acknowledgement of
author.
Cover design and graphics by Gabe Gunlock
of Gunlock Industries. San Diego, CA
www.gabegunlock.com
Cover photo of the Lamborghini® shot by
Jeremy Cliff and used by permission of
Jeremy Cliff © 2010 Chicago, IL
www.thephotomotive.com
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Author’s Note
I can sum up this book in two words: Self
Mastery.
Socrates stated that: “The truly free
individual is free only to the extent of his
own self-mastery, while those who will not
govern themselves are condemned to find
masters to govern over them."
Self-mastery is whatever you determine it to
be for you at this time in your life. For me, it
is the ability to catch myself not doing the
things that I need to do to get what I want,
the ability to stop the rationalizing and
justifying, to never have an excuse, to
eliminate the chatter in my head that is there
to make me feel better when I don’t get my
stuff done, to stick to a diet or exercise plan,
to take action, to question my own beliefs
constantly, to be open to other points of view,
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to learn why I have the beliefs that I have, to
not let others have control over the way I feel
about myself, to always get better, and to
look at the world from a universal
perspective, not from a perspective of “me.”
Self-mastery isn’t a destination, it is a
journey. This book is an invitation to join
me on the journey, achieve a new level of self
mastery in your own life, and with it make a
difference in the world.
Where did the term, “the demons” come
from, you may ask. James Renfro is one of
the most insightful people I know, and an
excellent salesman. He was canvassing a
neighborhood one day to help people who
may want to sell their house. I asked how
many doors he knocked on and he said, “I
knocked on 141 doors,” and then he asked
me, “How many phone calls did you make
today?” I responded proudly, “71.” He said,
“Wow, how are you able to beat the demons?”
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I had never heard that phrase before, but
instantly knew exactly what he was talking
about. I responded quickly, “You already
know how to beat the demons! You knocked
on 141 doors.” From that conversation, the
idea for this book was born, and the term “the
demons” was instantly defined. (No, James,
you are not getting any royalties; write your
own book.)
The format for the first part of “Beating the
demons” was inspired by a brilliant book that
had a positive impact on my life. When I
read this book, it was like a true friend telling
me the painful truth that I needed to hear, but
didn’t want to. It will influence my work for
the rest of my career. The book was “The
War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. I fully
credit Pressfield for the format that the first
part of “Beating the demons” fits into.
As you read “Beating the demons”, I invite
you to be open to learning something new
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about yourself that you can use to propel your
life. Put the ego aside, let down your
defenses, and join me on the journey that I
call self-mastery.
Sincerely,
Dan ‘go sell something’ Boe
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One
The Invisible Force
I’m at my desk. I am about to make my “cold
calls.” These calls are critical to earning my
income so that I can have a place to live, food
to eat, and money to take care of my family.
I have been about to make my calls for 2
hours and 47 minutes now. During this time I
have gotten up to get coffee three times, gone
to the bathroom twice, checked and
responded to my email five times, and
considered taking off for an early lunch. It is
completely illogical to not make these calls.
I know that if I dial 39 times, based on past
history, I WILL MAKE $1,892.76 TODAY.
Marc (his real name) always makes his calls.
He will dial 65 times in one day when he is
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prospecting for new clients. I wonder if he
holds some secret power, or learned a key
lesson that I somehow missed in all my
business training. The question keeps
repeating itself in my mind as I avoid doing
the one thing that will bring me the income I
need to survive and thrive: How does he get
started?
I’m paralyzed, so I call Marc and ask him
how he does it. “Marc, what do you do when
the phone seems so heavy, and you are having
an extremely hard time dialing that first
number? How do you overcome that call
reluctance?”
He says, “I pick up the phone.”
That’s it? It can’t be that easy? No
affirmations first? No pushups to clear your
thoughts? No psyching yourself up? Just pick
up the phone and dial? It can’t be that easy.
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But it is. Marc knows how to beat the
demons. The same demons that keep us from
making our calls also keep us from
completing that new exercise plan. The same
demons that keep us from sticking to that diet
keep us from that perfect relationship, and
yes, keep us from writing that book.
Everybody loves Marc. I thought it was
because he was a good schmoozer, but now I
know why everybody loves Marc. Because
they know that he knows how to beat the
demons.
His co-workers know it when he puts up his
record sales numbers each month on the
board. His friends know it when he turns
down the offer to play golf on Thursday
morning. And his family knows it when all
his work is done and he is home by 4:00 p.m.
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YES. The ones who beat the demons do not
live at the office. The ones who do not beat
the demons, stay at the office all night
because they feel guilty for the whipping they
let the demons give them that day.
You may know somebody like Marc. You
may have recognized in somebody else the
ability to overcome that invisible force that
seems to keep the rest of us down. We call
this invisible force: The demons.
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Two
What are the demons?
The justification and rationalizing in your
head when you are avoiding doing the things
that need to get done to achieve your goals?
That is the demons hard at work.
The creative avoidance that turns your plan
for constructive work time, into precious time
wasted on unproductive menial tasks? That is
the demons’ masterpiece.
The distractions we often say that we hate,
but secretly really love because they keep us
from doing our real work? That is the demons
working overtime.
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The perfectionist inside of us that declares
that no project we are working on is good
enough? That is the demons keeping us from
finishing that which we start.
The demons hide, but we know they are there
every time we set a goal and don’t achieve it.
The demons aim to keep us away from that
which we love. They aim to stop us from
achieving our life’s dream. They aim to stop
us from living up to our full potential. They
aim to stop us from feeling a sense of
accomplishment. They aim to stop us from
changing the world for the better. AND
THEY AIM TO STOP EVERYBODY ELSE,
TOO.
But wait a minute. If I am facing a demon
that wants me to fail, but it exists inside of
me and inside of you, then let’s look at the
following question:
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Are the demons real?
I coach Entrepreneurs in business sales.
Every time I obtain a new coaching client, I
always give them an assignment to increase
the amount of outbound calls from the
number they are currently making. They will
commit to making a specific number of calls
by the next coaching session. They will come
up with their own heinous consequence if
they don’t make the calls. A good example is
no skiing for a month if the student really
loves skiing. At the next coaching session,
what do you think was the outcome of the
calls? That is right; the calls weren’t made.
The consequence is not put there to punish
them; the consequence is there so they can
see that the demons are real.
The demons are a ceiling to productivity.
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The demons tell us that there are limits to
how much we can accomplish in a day. These
limits are relative to how much we have
accomplished in the past, and are not based
on our potential. We get done a little more
than we usually get done, then start feeling
“overwhelmed.”
The demons tell us what we want to hear.
They may tell you that you can cheat on that
diet because you will work out tomorrow.
Then tomorrow comes and the same voice
telling you that you could break the diet
because you will work out tomorrow, now
tells you that you don’t have to work out
today because you can just work out twice as
hard the next day. You broke your diet,
didn’t work out, and completely justified and
rationalized it in your head. The demons win.
The demons have an ironic sense of humor.
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You have probably heard a story about
somebody who wins the lottery and becomes
an instant multi millionaire. Oftentimes, less
than five years later they are broke and have
an even smaller amount than before they won
the lottery. Only the demons know that this
is their work. They are an opponent that
doesn’t have any muscles, any weapons, any
physical form, and yet they end up kicking
our butts again and again.
The demons stop us from helping others
beat the demons.
We get used to the way others around us are.
This is fine, except when they change
something we are comfortable with, or
elevate them selves to a higher level. This
change can be very uncomfortable for us. It
may be hard to admit, but we often
unconsciously hold them down to the level
we are used to, without even knowing we are
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doing it! We do this in the form of subtle
criticizing, openly disapproving, or talking
them out of it.
The demons keep us busy, not productive.
The demons get us doing less productive
tasks that are called “busy work” instead of
the productive money-making activities. The
busy work has to be done, but we must
categorize busy work and productive tasks
accurately, so that we can spend more time in
the money making activities. Busy work may
be activities such as designing marketing
materials and sending out emails. The
productive tasks move people forward in the
buying process. For most entrepreneurs this
usually involves some kind of personal
contact, whether it is in person or over the
phone.
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The demons aren’t custom made.
We all battle the same demons; it isn’t my
demons, or his demons or her demons. We
all have to beat “The demons.”
The demons stop us from getting new
business.
A great example of this is any type of “cold
call” that we commit to making to procure
new business. Making “cold calls” is one
task that goes against all of our body systems
that are designed to keep us safe:
First, the outcome is always unknown.
We like to be able to predict all
outcomes. Predicting outcomes is
inherent to our survival. Cold calls are
never predictable.
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Second, anything that moves us to a
higher level is scary. The higher we go,
the farther we have to fall. If we look
up at a big tree and make a
commitment to get to the top, we get
scared. There are many times that we
have to face this barrier throughout our
climb. The more we climb and the
higher up we get, the more scared we
get. The same is true with business.
The farther up we go, the farther we
can fall. We end up being afraid of
success. When we are procuring new
business, we are afraid of our success
taking us to a higher level. Higher
levels are scary. Hence, we have an
innate and subconscious fear of
success.
Third, we face a fear of moving
somebody forward in the buying
process. We sometimes don’t have the
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confidence in our abilities to know that
when we get a prospect on the phone or
in person, that we can move them to
pull out their credit card or sign a
contract. Self doubt arises and we
subconsciously sabotage the deal.
We have to fight all these internal fears every
day in order to get new business: Whether it
is calling new leads, asking for referrals, or
closing hot prospects.
The demons hide in things we call
distractions.
We love the distractions. As long as we have
distractions we don’t have to face the
demons. The moment we let the distractions
keep us from our work, the demons win.
The demons will paralyze you.
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The demons are like a paralyzing dart that
you never feel hit you. Once you are hit by it
you do nothing. You know what to do, you
want to do it, you know the results that will
be achieved once you do it, but you are
paralyzed.
There are many tools that have been given
to us to help beat the demons.
There is a lot of talk about the power of
intention, the law of attraction, and the power
of positive thinking. The reason that these
principles work is because they facilitate us
in getting our work done. Sitting on our
couch consistently thinking about what we
want creates the feelings and emotions that
we need as fuel to take the next step. The
next step is getting our work done.
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If you sit on the couch thinking positive
thoughts and never take action, they may
come take your couch away.
Focusing on what we want, and thinking
positive, helps conquer the thoughts of self
doubt and fear, so that we start getting our
work done. By getting our work done we can
attract the life that we want.
The demons capitalize on our fears and self
doubt.
As soon as thoughts and feelings of doubt
arise the demons are reliably there to say,
“Something bad may happen, you better
stop.”
The demons capitalize on the physical road
blocks that arise every time we set a goal.
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As soon as these things arise, the demons are
there to say, “Look, you have an excuse; you
don’t have to do this anymore.”
The demons capitalize on failure.
As soon as we fail, the demons are there to
tell us to quit, that we can’t do it, to give up.
And then the justification and rationalization
starts on why we can’t do it. We listen to the
demons, and they stop us.
The demons capitalize on our fear of
looking bad.
According to recent studies in the United
States, the number one fear is public
speaking. Let’s look at it a little bit deeper.
I believe that the reason we have a fear of
speaking in public is because of a fear that
shows up in our lives everyday and
everywhere we go. It is a paralyzing fear that
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keeps us from living up to our full potential.
It stops us everywhere in our lives, and in
more important situations than just public
speaking. It is the fear of looking bad.
Overcome the fear of looking bad, and you
are one step closer to overcoming the demons.
The demons use our own biology against us.
Our brain’s job is to keep us safe. Our
brain’s job is not to make us successful. Our
brain’s job is not to make us happy. Have
you ever known somebody who had a brain
and wasn’t successful? Have you ever known
somebody who had a brain and wasn’t happy?
Our fears arise from our past experiences, and
are not based on our potential. Susan Jeffers
wrote a brilliant book called, “Feel the Fear
and Do It Anyway,” because she knows that
when we act in spite of fear, we elevate
ourselves to a higher level and start the
journey to achieve that which we are capable
of.
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The demons are not interested in knocking
us to a lower level.
Not because there is a streak of niceness in
them. It is because knocking us to a lower
level isn’t their game.
They are like a trained ninja who knows they
have one task at hand, and they are crystal
clear on what that task is. Their goal is to
emphatically and without question stop us
from getting to a higher level. Their mission
is to keep us the same. They will let us slide
to a lower level, but they don’t do anything to
facilitate it. And like the grass, we are either
growing or dying. So as they target their
efforts to keep us the same, we often end up
at a lower level. The only way to not get
knocked down to a lower level is to always be
growing. The demons don’t knock us to a
lower level. We do that ourselves when we
can’t beat the demons.
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To truly live is to overcome the demons.
I was stuffing Christmas stockings for my
kids when they were 4 and 6 years of age. I
was thinking about the magic that the kids
would experience when they woke up and saw
the wondrous presents seemingly left by a
stranger. I looked at the clock and saw that it
was 2:00 a.m. I looked over at my mom who
was helping me, and said with a sincere
smile, “This is living!” My lovely, caring
wife was missing out. It was Christmas Eve;
she was dead asleep, and fully beaten by the
demons.
We all share the commonality of having to
battle the demons.
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We admire those who work hard. We root for
the underdog. We want the person to win
who has to work harder on winning.
Imagine you are watching a competition
where two runners are racing. The first is a
natural born athlete who never had to work
hard to run fast. The second was born
without great genetics, and has to practice ten
times more than his opponent. Which runner
do we want to win? Most would choose the
second racer because he is more like us.
We know about the demons from
experience.
I can always recognize somebody who has to
utilize self discipline to achieve success in
his career. When I tell him that the reason he
didn’t make his phone calls today is because
of the demons, he smiles and says, “Yep, it is
because of the demons.”
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He may have never heard the term used like
that before, but he understands it in an
instant. He has knowledge of fighting the
demons one can only get from experience.
The demons are relentless
The demons are not pesky little critters that
need to be stomped out. The demons are an
evil force that is relentless in completely
destroying you! They are evil. Never
underestimate their power.
The demons didn’t stop this book
I hold the information in this book at a very
high level. In later chapters we are going to
be discussing the meaning of life. I decided
that getting the first version out, was more
important than getting the book out perfectly
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edited. When it went to print, the demons
lost.
Small fears keep us from big results!
I had a three page in-depth discussion on this
that I edited out. The three pages
communicated as effectively as this one
sentence: Small fears keep us from big
results!
Overcoming the demons reaps
disproportionate results. The demons are not
proportional to that which they keep us from.
The demons are small in comparison. A
little bit of effort on beating the demons can
result in a lot of success. We do not have to
overcome huge obstacles to get huge results.
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Three
How to Overcome the demons:
6 Principles
I wake up every morning, put some shorts on
and leave for the gym. There is nothing to
think about, but I know the demons are hard
at work to stop me anytime that I start
thinking.
“Thinking about what?” you may ask. It doesn’t matter what
I am thinking about. What I have committed to requires
doing, not thinking. So when those thoughts creep in my
head: “You didn’t get enough sleep to stay healthy, you need
to get to the office to get your work done, you need to rest
your muscles from yesterday’s workout,” and so
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