ISSUE #5 - NOVEMBER 2010

Vampires, real thing or make-believe?

A few (possibly fake) vampires caught on CCTV footage

People claim to have seen vampires in down-town Bridgeport

BRIDGEPORT – Last Tues-day, the Bridgeport police force was dazed by a rather unusual event that happened in the busy downtown area, when St. Wright’s hospital was raided by thieves. They didn’t steal money or drugs though; they were only inter-ested in plasma.Dr. Henry Jenkins, head of the plasma bank at the hospi-tal, told us what happened. “I was just doing some paper-work in my office, when sud-denly three strange fellows busted through the door. “ he said, “One of them demanded to give them all the plasma I got. They looked danger-ous so I did what they said.”

After Jenkins gathered the plasma in a bag and gave it to one of the gang members, he noticed something strange. “There was something odd about these people. Their skin had an unhealthy pale color, and their eyes had this strange glow. And when one of them smiled, I swear I saw fangs! If I wouldn’t know any bet-ter, they’d seem like they were vampires or something.”The events at St. Wright’s hospital weren’t the only ones related to vampirism. More and more people have claimed they’ve seen vampires in several areas of Bridgeport. We’ve asked Dr. V. Helsing, a vampire specialist at the in-stitute of the undead, to tell us what’s going on. “We’ve been telling people for years that vampires are real, but no-

body ever listened for some strange reason.” Helsing said, “Now that vampires are actu-ally showing up in public, it’s good to know that more peo-ple share our views of vam-pires. This helps us in our fight to eradicate all undead from the face of the earth” He added with a smile.Other sources, like the ‘Com-mon Sense’ sceptics society believe that these are just kids pretending to be vampires, following a recent vampire trend in pop-culture mov-ies and books. A representa-tive from the sceptics society says that the institute of the undead is full of lunatics who should be locked away for-ever in a mental institution. Whatever the case may be, this might not be the last in a chain of vampire-related events.

8 70250 60903 8

City Hall Statue reported missing

Desolate cliff side police no success

Man can’t find parking spaceRIVERVIEW - Joe Plummer (36), construction worker and part time whiskey taster from Riverview, drove around the downtown area for six hours Tuesday because he was un-able to find a parking space. After recieving a fine for triple parking, he complained about the lack of spaces near Al’s Fishing Supplies Inc. Local authorities said: ‘There are enough parking spaces, just not where mr. Plummer wants to park, which is inside the store.’

Simnation: § 2.00

CONTENTSOpinions..............................................p2Community Voice.................................p3Weather...............................................p4Sudoku................................................p4Sports results......................................p4Classifieds...........................................p4

SUNSET VALLEY TIMESPAGE 2

New shelter for the homeless causes a huge fussPlans for a new accom-modation for home-less people have led to much commotion.

SUNSET VALLEY - Since the brand new shelter is go-ing to be built in Sunset Val-ley’s most expensive district, especially the jet set has got problems with the plan. ‘It’s not that I do not want to help these homeless people,’ full-time snob Elisabeth Jenkins says. ‘Of course they deserve a worthy place to live just as much as us normal people do. However, I am sure that the lo-cation that has currently been decided is a very, very bad

idea. They’ll make our streets dirty, their drugs will make our children addicts and my house is going to depreciate!’

The government doesn’t really know what to do. Ignoring the protests would be against our idea of democracy, but there a better place to build the shel-ter has not been found. The rich community seems to be very serious about this mat-ter though and ignoring these people might be dangerous. Some vagabonds have even been threatened. Idealist Isaac Rivers thinks helping people in need is far more impor-tant than pleasing the snobs.

‘They’re just so selfish, these snobs. Ignore them, they don’t even know what real life and problems are. To improve our society, everyone has to give up a little something to help others. Yes, I’m talking to you, misers!’

What do the homeless people themselves think about all this commotion? ‘Well, I don’t re-ally get what they’re all talking about. What exactly is a shel-ter? Accommodation? Well, this little park bench ain’t that bad. By the way, err… I could use some food right now, do you have any crisps left in that bag?’

OPINIONSAll vending machines should hold plasma for the thirsty vampire on the roadWhat does our panel think of this argument?

Llama Awards turn out to be big failureThe first annual Llama Awards last Tuesday certainly didn’t go as planned. None of the ex-pected 24 spectators showed up and neither did the nomi-nees and award winners.The event was an idea of Ger-trud and Bernie Spitpants, who have an unusual obsession for llamas. To honour these woolly beasts, they decided to organise the Llama Awards. They even came up with sev-eral categories, such as Best Llama Impersonator. But as it was hard to find nominees for their peculiar awards, they selected random neighbours. The crowd was supposed to be formed by the grandchildren of the Spitpants.Somehow all the guests had something else to do and the award winners would not take their prize because it was ‘too big an honour’.

Annual Car Expo ReturnsSUNSET VALLEY - This week residents of Sunset Val-ley will be lining up to attend the Annual Car Expo which once again returns to town. Bigger and better than before, this year’s theme is “Vintage Chic”. Residents will have the opportunity to feast their eyes on some old classics such as The Anachronous and Fitzger-ald to name a few. Visitors can also expect a guest appear-ance from Steve Montague, professional race-car driver. Expo runs from the 1st – 14th November.

Some vagabonds don’t seem to have any problems with their current accommodation.

James Adley IIISr. Cricket player

BobHomeless

Darian Stoker?

Preposterous those filthy creatures of the night don’t even belong in our beautiful city.

Eehm sure the more people use them vend-ing machines the more change will be left into them!

What? Stop asking me questions can’t you see I’m busy? *gulp*

PAGE 3

Tea Party, Coffee Party, whatever..As long as there’s cake.

Go vote!

November 2nd, Midterm elections

COMMUNITY VOICEOk listen up, I don’t have a lot of time, as I’m mixing here. But I do have something that I need to get off my chest! Oh and I’m Kyle by the way.

Good, so I work in a bar. Every night I mix drinks for peo-ple who come in. And there are a lot of people. We’re kind of a hip bar, you know what I’m saying?! So I’m busy all night long, no time to think, or even drink some of my own concoctions. And then there are these celeb-rities, who always want some-thing special. Like an olive, or some extra garlic or a potato in their drinks. Jeez, just drink it, like everyone else does. But anyway, that’s not my

point. Since our club is on the top floor of a big skyscraper, we have a beautiful roof above

us. And on that roof we have a beautiful patio. And on that patio is a beautiful hot tub. And in that hot tub is a… Ok I’ll stop.Point is, I love to relax in zhe nude in that hot tub after hours. But someone

keeps steeling my clothes af-terwards. I don’t know who it is, might be the bouncer, or a celeb… or the wind. I don’t care. I just don’t like it, you’ll get that. I mean, I have to go home in just my towel. Now my body ain’t bad or anything, but still. It’s not fun.

So whoever keeps stealing my clothes; stop doing that!

By Kyle Bubbles

Ghost to Publish Autobiography?

SUNSET VALLEY - We are all aware of the numerous wondering souls that reside in the neighbourhood. It was, however, quite a surprise when Phillip McGoul (part time resident of the Frederick household and a leader of the Dead Sim Society) officially announced the publication of his autobiography yesterday. The autobiography, the first of its kind, is titled “Oh No, I’m Dead” and “takes a closer

and more in-depth look at the fundamental aspects of being a ghost.” Phillips book is due for pub-lication later next month, and one has to wonder should the book be a success, whether or not Phillip will continue to contribute to the less alive citi-zens of Sunset Valley.

Alive or not, go pre-order your copy now!

Nudity is the new ‘clothes’Anyone who wants to go in style this sea-son should empty their closets.: being nude is the new way to dress!

SUNSET VALLEY FASHION CENTER – At the Sunset Val-ley Fashion Center, new trends in fashion are always first to be shown. Fashion followers and victims from around Sim-City come to this convention in order to see the latest trends and what they need to wear in order to not look like a nerd. This seasons trend, however, is going to set a whole new mark on the term ‘adventur-ous’. Because if you want to be walking around in the hip-pest clothes out there, you’ll have to ditch all of them! That’s right, being nude is go-ing to be THE trend this sea-son. “Normally it’s all about zhe colour. You have to fit zhe colour to zhe season. But now

the only colour is zhe colour of zhe skin,” according to Zasha, the fashion mogul of the Sun-set Valley Times. According to him, this trend comes from the bubbling hot tubs on top of the high rises in Bridgeport. “People take of all zhe clothes when zhey enter zhe hot tub. Because zhe hot tub’s are so high, all zhe clothes just are being blown away. So zhey have to walk around in zhe nude,” says Zasha. People have been spotted around Sunset Valley donning this latest trend. We’ve asked a passer by who seemed to come from the gym... in the nude. “Being naked just makes me feel free. And it’s easier. I just go to the gym, work out, have a shower and go home. No need to change at all!” So you’ve heard it. This sea-son we’ll all walk around na-ked.

A follower of the nude trend, being frowned upon by ‘non-followers’

SUNSET VALLEY TIMESPAGE 4

1

8 2 5 3

9 4 6 7 2 5

7 6 5

3 4 6

5 8 4

2 6 5 4 1 3

3 9 2 8

2

SUDOKU WEATHER FORECAST

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri

23° 23° 23° 23° 23°

N N N N N

SPORTS RESULTS

The American football match that was played last weekend certainly was not your every-day sports match. The match lasted no less than an hour and every single player was mov-ing around! And they were not just taking a few steps here and there, they were even running and throwing a weird thing around. At the end of the match it seemed there was not only a winner, but a losing team too. It also appeared that the win-ner and the loser were two different teams. A remarkable thing was that the winners were happy, whereas the los-ers looked a bit sad.

Yes, it truly was a match like no one had ever seen before.

COLOPHONSunset Valley Times was created by:

Daan Dogna JolijnJordyJozza

JVtjeSims AddictSuzan Wouter

CLASSIFIEDS

WE’RE HIRING!Sunset Valley Times is looking for people to support the press team

Press editors update our blog with the latest Sims-related news, by looking for news on other websites and sources.

Do you think you have what it takes to become a press editor?

Go to Go to http://svtim.es/join to apply!

Wanted: I’m looking for a view. My apartment in Bridgeport lacks a good view so if you have one lying around call 555-0123

Lost: I’ve lost my boyfriend. He’s really cute and good looking, with black hair and a swimsuit. I lost him in the pool. If you’ve found him please send him to Bryan.

Help wanted: I need help fishing. I just can’t seem to catch some good fish. Want to help me, I’m standing in the waters of Sunset Valley every day.

Lost: I’ve lost my classified. I’ve written it all down and now it’s gone. If you’ve seen it, please call mr. Geriatric on 555-653626

Wanted: Some abs. I really don’t have the time to go to the gym, so if you have some spare abs, I’ll be happy to take them against any good offer.

For sale: Abs. I’ve been accepted in a movie where I need to be fat so I don’t need my abs anymore. If you want them, they’re yours for any good offer!