how to write your way home

7/30/2019 How to Write Your Way Home

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ContentsLorrie's story: Part 1 5

Introductions 7

All you need to know 9

Lorrie's story: Part 2 10

Why is it so difficult to pay attention? 12

Why should we acknowledge the world's passing? 14

How can writing help us to pay attention? 16


How do we write? 20

Why is writing so difficult? 22

Practising perseverance 24


Hunting down small stones 28

Polishing your small stones 30

Developing the small stone habit 32




Contents continuedGetting through the difficult bits 36

Protecting our writing 38

Building a creative network 40

Our mixed motivations for writing 42

How to improve our writing 44


Sharing your writing with the world 48

The dirty business of publishing 50


A writing life 54

Let's re-cap 56

Free e-course 57

How to connect 58

Thank you (and how you can help me) 60

About the author 62

Acknowledgments 63



Lorrie's story: Part 1

Once upon a time, there was a woman with pea-green eyes

and mousey hair called Lorrie. She lived in a narrow grey

house in a narrow grey street. Every morning she put on

her grey suit and walked for twenty three minutes along the

narrow grey pavements to her office: a hulking building

with a skin of grey glass.

thFrom 9am until 6pm, Lorrie sat at her desk on the 14 floor

and spoke to customers through her head-set about their

financial investments. She told them how much money

they had in their accounts. She changed their addresses.

She explained how they could transfer ownership of their

bonds. As she spoke, she typed what she said onto her

computer screen: tippety-tippety-tap.


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Once you start paying more attention to the world, you

will get to know it more intimately. And when we know

something (or someone) more intimately, it is more

possible to love it (or them). It is more possible to love

ALL of it - the good and the bad, the new and the old,

the beautiful and the ugly.

As you become more connected with yourself, you will

feel more comfortable in your own skin. As you become

more connected with the world you live in, it will feel

more like home.

Connecting with the world is easier said than done. If

you find it impossibly difficult to pay attention, then

this e-book will show you how you can write your way

home.


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One morning, when Lorrie arrived at work, she found a

new boy sitting at the desk next to hers. Joshua had

luminous skin, tiny round glasses and wispy blond hair like

a dandelion in seed. He was being shown how to use the

computer and his eyes were squinting in concentration.

They chatted later in the coffee room, and he was full of

questions. Where could he get the best cake? What was the

best thing about working here? Did her mother have pea-

green eyes? Had she noticed the berries on the tree

outside?

She hadn't noticed the berries. When Lorrie found herself

slotting the key into her front door that evening, she

realised that she'd walked home on automatic pilot as

usual. She knew the narrow grey route to and from work so

well, she hardly needed to pay attention to where she was

stepping.


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As human beings, we are also supremely protective of our

egos. We like to think that we know who we are, and that

our personalities are something we can pin down and be

certain about. Acknowledging that we don't always know

who we are (or what we're capable of) reminds us of our

ultimate transience. Everything is impermanent,

including our own selves.

The writer and Zen practitioner Natalie Goldberg says this

very well: To have an intimate connection with the world

[is] to know about its passing.



Why should we acknowledge the world's

passing?

If acknowledging our impermanence makes us feel

insecure, then can't we just live in a happy state of denial

instead?

If we have a towering pile of paperwork waiting for

attention on our desk, we simply avert our eyes when we

come into the room. It bugs us. As time passes, we decide

to move it into a drawer. Out of sight, out of mind? What

happens when we need something else from the drawer?

Or when we dream of drowning in a sea of shredded

paper? Maybe some of the unfinished paperwork results in

us needing to pay a fine.

The truth has a habit of leaking out. However water-tight

we think we've made our 'permanent' self-structure, the

world points out the truth to us over and over again.


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As Lorrie used a fork to pierce holes in her evening

microwave meal, she remembered the scarlet berries. She

looked more closely at what she was about to eat. Macaroni

cheese. It looked pale and insipid. Instead of blasting it in

the microwave, she peeled off the film layer and sprinkled

on fresh cheese and breadcrumbs before putting it into the

oven.

As she ate, she savoured the delicious topping; crunchy,

rich, in contrast with the creamy macaroni. Sheremembered her grandmother's home-made macaroni,

and how it made a wonderful squelching noise when her

grandmother dipped into it with a silver serving spoon.

Maybe Lorrie could get the recipe from her mother.


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How do we write?

We've looked at how writing can help us to pay attention.

But if you've never written creatively before, then where

do you begin?

We begin small: with small stones. A small stone is a short

piece of writing which describes something you've

observed carefully. It doesn't matter whether it's in

sentences or verse. It doesn't matter whether it's about a

roast potato or a sunset or the mud on the bottom of your

boots. Follow the three instructions I gave you earlier.Keep your senses open. Observe one thing. Describe it in

words. I'll be saying more about small stones later.



Another option is to write Morning Pages, as suggested by

Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way. Spend twenty minutes

filling three A4 pieces of paper with free-flow writing,

first thing every morning. Don't judge what comes out,

just write it down - even if you find yourself writing the

same whiny thing over and over again. Eventually,

something will shift.

You could also write a journal, making observations about

yourself and others. You could write a novel, a collection

of poetry, or a travel book about Outer Mongolia. It doesn't

matter what you write. Just write. If you can, write

something every day.


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Another way to persevere is to patiently listen to all the

excuses we come up with, and then to write anyway.

Thank you, brain, for reminding me that I should be

cleaning the kitchen, that I'm behind on my essay, and

that I'm a rubbish writer anyway. I'm going to get on with

my writing now.

If we are curious about our particular patterns when

persevering (or not persevering!), we will learn more

about how we can strengthen our staying power. If we're

easily distracted by the internet, we could turn it off at

the wall.

It is also crucial for all writers to develop a support

network. I'll say more about this later.




The next morning Lorrie chose a different route to work,

following the river that snaked through the centre of town.

She noticed a clump of soft blue flowers with yellow

centres. She asked Joshua what they were called - hed

known about the berries. They took a riverside stroll whilst

they ate their sandwiches, and he told Lorrie that they were

forget-me-nots. He even knew the latin name:Myosotis

sylvatica. How could she have reached twenty seven and

not known what a forget-me-not looked like?

Lorrie's days gradually took on colour. On her way to work

she would pause at a sunny riverside bench, and she grew

to recognise the local swans: this one had a discoloured

feather on its wing, this one had a dark blodge on her beak.

She planted a rose-bush in her tiny back garden. She had

more interesting conversations with her friend Charlotte.


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Hunting down small stones

Small stones are everywhere, all of the time. All you have

to do is pause, become quiet, open your senses, and allow

them to appear.

You'll know when you've found one. As you step aside and

allow the small stone to come towards you, you'll notice

every detail of its presence, and itll feel like youre

experiencing something for the very first time.

You might be hearing something you hear every day, like

the water whooshing from the tap, or noticing the cloud of

lavender scent as you brush past on your way to the

garden shed. If you can open up your ears, the sounds will

appear fresh. Open your nose, and the smells will hit you

very directly. The objects you are experiencing might be

attractive or unattractive, sweet or bitter, but they'll be

very PRESENT. It's difficult to put this 'aha' feeling into

words, but with practice you'll come to recognise it.


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Polishing your small stones

Once you've found your small stones, you can have some

fun shining them up. This will get you closer to describing

exactly what you experienced, and you will also learn to

use language more skillfully. Here are my tips:

v Have you used precise words? Was the cloudy sky in

turmoil or in tumult?

v Is every single word necessary? If it doesn't add

anything, take it out!

v Have you shown us something or told us something?

Be descriptive and let the reader draw their own

conclusions. Don't write 'the sky was beautiful' -

show us the sky. What colour is it exactly? What do

the clouds remind you of?

v How does the small stone look on the page? How do

you want to order the words, or use punctuation or

line breaks? Play around with the words until they

look right.


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Developing the small stone habit

The best way to practice writing small stones, especially

when you're just beginning, is to commit to writing one

every day. This daily prompt will encourage you to pause

and open your senses up at least once every 24 hours. You

are fighting a life-long habit of not paying attention. New

habits require lots of initial nurturing and endless

repetition, but once they're established, you'll need much

less energy to keep them going.

To help with your resolve, you could join forces with afriend and send your small stones to each other at the end

of each week. You could also commit to posting one onto

your blog each day, or onto the Writing Our Way Home

community forum. There are many other small stone

writers out there - enlist their support.



As you continue to practice, you should find yourself

paying a similar kind of attention to ordinary grey morning

skies as you do to spectacular sunsets. You will build more

natural pauses into your day. And you will also be able to

appreciate the smell of the compost bin as much as you do

the smell of your deep pink peonies. You won't necessarily

feel attracted to the smell of the compost bin, but it will

be alive to you, and you will know it to be an essential part

of the rich tapestry of life. Like Lorrie, your life will begin

to blossom.




Lorrie's sadness grew and grew. Once or twice, she couldn't

even bring herself to get out of bed. She called into work

and lied about having a migraine. The sadness was like

having a migraine - her eyes shrunk from the light, and she

spent the day under her duvet, trying to hide from what was

inside her. She longed to return to her grey, predictable life.

One Saturday morning, she dragged herself out of bed to

find Joshua on her doorstep. She told him she didn't feel

like talking, ready to shut the front door on him. He saidthat was OK, and he pushed past her. She hadn't even

brushed her hair.


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v Try to go towards the difficult feelings and sit with

them, even if its just for three seconds. Get to

know them.

v Give yourself what you need. Find comfort in nature

or in your spiritual practice. Offer yourself the giftof long hot baths or lovingly prepared meals. Seek

quiet solitude or nourishing company. You will know

what you need in order to heal. Give yourself

permission to ask for it.

v Remember that being a human being can be horribly

difficult. We all make mistakes, and we all let

ourselves and others down. Some days, we just need

to take one day (or one minute) at a time, and hang

on by our fingertips. Things will change.

And, if you can, keep writing.


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Building a creative network

Nobody understands the trials and tribulations of this

journey better than our fellow travellers. My own creative

network is a mixture of authors (Anne Lamott, Brenda

Ueland, Julia Cameron, Natalie Goldberg) and friends and

family, poets and novelists, lawyers and Buddhist

ministers, all on their own journeys and all willing to

support me and be supported in return. I couldn't do what

I do without them. Here's how you can grow and nourish

your own creative network:

v When you're meeting new people, think about how

you could help them. This might be a book

recommendation, or the offer to give feedback on

their writing. People will remember you as being

helpful, and you will feel good about having helped.

v Don't be afraid to ask for help. Most people feelflattered when they're asked for help, and pleased

to be able to offer it. If they don't have the time or

the energy to give you what you've asked for, then

it's up to them to say no.

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Our mixed motivations for writing

My own motivations for writing are a mixture of healthy

and compulsive, altruistic and ego-driven.

On bad days, writing is all about a need to be heard, and aneed to be 'a good writer'. This need is 'clingy' - it's about

me Me ME.

I feel tortured by how terrible my writing is. I wonder how

I could possibly have the audacity to call myself a writer.

Alternatively (sometimes in the very next minute), I might

think that I am the greatest writer who has ever lived.

Why is it taking me so long to make my first million?!



On good days, the writing flows through me and I am just a

humble siphon. I take great pleasure in the words as they

line up on the page in a satisfying order. I feel grateful for

what they help me to notice about myself and about the

world. I sincerely hope that others will glean something

from what I write - that they will notice something of their

own, or learn something, or enjoy a particular image. The

process of writing and the finished product is everything I

need: any praise or financial benefit is just gravy.

You will recognise some of these feelings in your own

writing life, or in the rest of your life. You will have

honourable or shameful motivations of your own. We all

have a mix of reasons for writing, and that's OK. Allow

them to be present, and keep writing.



How to improve our writing

If we're writing in order to connect with the world, then

why does it matter if the writing is any good or not?

Good writing is carefully observed, and honest. If we canwork on improving the quality of our writing, we are also

working on improving the honesty of our interactions with

the world.

There are many excellent how-to-write books, and lots of

support on-line. Here are some suggestions to get you

started.

v Read a lot. Reading helps us to learn what we like,

and to develop an instinct for handling language. I

see the hundreds of books I consume as going into

my head and becoming a kind of compost. My own

writing grows from this compost.

v Write a lot. Write regularly. Make a proper space for

writing in your life, even if it's three minutes every

day to write a small stone.



v Develop your critical facility. Read other peoples

writing and notice what you like and what you

dont, what works and what doesnt.

v Seek feedback. Join a local writing group or an

online forum. Listen to what others say about yourwriting (with an open mind!) Learn over time to

discriminate between feedback that resonates with

you and improves your writing, and feedback that

you dont agree with. This isnt always easy!

v Seek pleasure from words. Find poems that set you

on fire and read them out loud. Share novel

recommendations with friends. Read other peoples

small stones. Copy out your favourite quotes.

Wallow in the deliciousness of language.

One of the joys of writing is that we can always get

better at it. Its an ongoing journey, just like life.


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Sharing your writing with the world

One of the many wonderful things about writing is that if

we can write from our hearts, others will instinctively

recognise what we've written about. It will resonate with

them at a very deep level. At its best, your writing will

help your readers to understand themselves and others,

and to connect them to their own worlds. Like Joshua, you

can show others the way.

There are many simple ways of sharing your writing with

others. You could include one of your poems in yourChristmas cards, or write a short story for your brother.

You could share your work at your local writers group or at

our online community. You could meet for coffee once a

month with your three best friends and swap your small

stones.


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It has been unspeakably wonderful to see my books in

bookshops and libraries, and to hear from people across

the world who have gained something from my words.

However, my old agent was right. Publication does bring

its own difficulties. And, contrary to my wild hopes, it

hasn't solved all my problems, financial or otherwise.

I try to see being published (and read) as the gravy to the

vegetarian sausages and mash of my writing life. If I never

made another penny from writing again, I would continue

to write. I write because it connects me to myself, to

others, and to the world. I write because it helps me to

make sense of this funny old life. I write because I love to

play with words. This is sufficient. The rest is gravy.


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A writing life

This is one of my favourite quotes, because it speaks a

truth. Life does get crazy. There are ups and downs, for all

of us. Sometimes we're all hanging on (to happiness, to

meaning, to sanity) by our fingertips.

When you're hanging on by a thread, identify that thread

and do all you can to strengthen it. Gardening is my

thread, consistently providing therapy through years of

ups and downs. If this blink in time seems a bit crazier,

well, perhaps it is. Gardening serves as a gentle reminder

that the wheel turns and seasons come and go, each filled

with its own impossibly tender beauty. So maybe it's time

to go outside and look for tulip noses poking through the

damp earth and reaching into the winter mist.

~Sally Basile



Writing a small stone every day will give you a thread. The

more you practice paying attention, the more beauty it

will bring you. Just like the noses of those tulips.

Writing is my thread. It brings me knowledge, stability and

meaning. It helps me to see 'the other' with clearer eyes.

It helps me to love, and to feel at home. It stitches me,

word by word, to this crazy, incorrigible, unutterably

marvellous world.

"Writing is a hard way to make a living, but a good way to

make a life."

~Doris Bett


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Free e-course

Now that you are coming to the end of this e-book you

might want to consider trying our free e-course: How to

Pay Attention to The World.

It includes a free 30 page workbook with daily writing

exercises, an introductory video, and 7 daily emails with

our favorite poems and encouraging words to help you to

pay more attention to the world.

Go here to find out more:

http://www.fionarobyn.com/ecoursestapa.html
http://www.fionarobyn.com/ecoursestapa.htmlhttp://www.fionarobyn.com/ecoursestapa.html



How to connect

The Writing Our Way Home community is a free forum for

people interested in using writing as a way of connecting

with the world. We are a mix of experienced writers and

complete beginners, and there are groups for posting

small stones, journal writing, video-poetry and much

more. To sign up simply visit the site at:

www.writingourwayhome.ning.com

and fill in a few profile questions so I know you're a real

person.

I write a weekly inspirational newsletter on topics

related to writing, mindfulness and spirituality. If you'd

like to give these a try, click 'sign up here' at:

www.fionarobyn.com/connect.html


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Thank you (and how you can help me)

I'm very grateful that you've taken the time to read my

words. There are trillions of words out there, and today

you've given your attention to mine.

I do hope I've been able to re-pay you by showing you a

new path home. If you're already on the path, maybe my

words will help you to find your way again when you stray

into the dark woods. At the very least, I hope youll feel a

little less alone. It can be a twisting, perilous path. We're

all on this path together, even when we lose sight of each

other along the way.


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Acknowledgements

Gratitude to Kaspalita, my soon-to-be-husband, for being

there, for encouraging my muse, for his excellent

cooking, and for designing this e-book.

Gratitude to Bodhi Hill for the wonderful illustrations.

Find out more about Bodhi's work at www.bodhihill.com.

Gratitude to David and Caroline Brazier, for introducing

me to Pureland Buddhism and to other-centred ways of

thinking.

Gratitude to all the members of 'a river of stones', and the

contributors and readers of 'a handful of stones'.

Gratitude to the pioneering members of the Writing Our

Way Home community, who make it such an inspiring and

heartening place to be.

Gratitude to you, dear reader, for reading.

Namo Amida Bu.

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