how to make financial reports easier to read and understand
TRANSCRIPT
How(wow) to get the words
right in your reports
Emily Bate – Writer (who’s feeling much better now, thanks)
Joe Craig – Writer
Energy
Money
Health
Society
We exist to make…
…more meaningful to
more people.
Clear Vivid Real
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The way we talk to people
shapes the way they react to us
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That chair looks a bit
worn – is it second-hand?
That chair’s got so much
character – is it vintage?
Friendly Rude
The same information, presented differently, gets a different reaction.
Words change how we feel, so they change how we behave.
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The way we talk to people tells
them what we’re like
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Put the mushrooms in a bowl and add the chopped herbs, a pinch of
salt and the lemon juice. Using your hands, get stuck in and toss
everything together – this is going to be incredible!
Take your risotto and add a little more seasoning if you like. Serve a
good dollop of risotto topped with some grilled mushrooms, a sprinkling
of freshly grated Parmesan and a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil.
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First of all, you need to soak the dried porcini mushrooms and to do
this, you place them in a jug or a bowl and pour 570 ml of boiling water
over them. Meanwhile, chop the fresh mushrooms into 1 cm chunks –
not too small, as they shrink down quite a bit in the cooking.
When the mushrooms have soaked for half and hour, place a sieve
over a bowl, line the sieve with a sheet of kitchen paper and strain the
mushrooms, reserving the liquid.
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They’re making the same thing, but talking about it in a different way.
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The way we talk to people helps
us stand out from the
competition
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Hey long legs, fancy
some extra leg-room on
your flight? We have two
great value options for
you to kick back with
those extra inches.
Our best-value fares
include online check-in,
a generous baggage
allowance, allocated
seats, complimentary
drinks snacks or meals.
Forgettable Memorable
Airlines all sell the same thing,
but the way they talk makes them different
BA Virgin
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What’s all this got to
do with us?
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“[This research suggests] a Great Divide…between insiders and
outsiders, between producers and consumers, between the vocal
minority who sell financial services and the silent majority who buy.”
“Words matter – indeed they may never have mattered more.”
Andrew Haldane
Chief Economist, Bank of England
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“[We need to] make them more accessible for consumers and reduce
the time firms spend preparing them. This includes, for example,
layering information so the most important material is included towards
the start of the report and simplifying the language used.”
Easy to write
Easy to read
This is what the FCA says about annual reports:
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Words are an opportunity
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1. Talk like a real person
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2. Cut to the chase
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3. Guide your reader
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1. Talk like a real personAssume intelligence, not knowledge
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An annuity is a contract between you and an insurance company in
which you make a lump sum payment or series of payments and in
return obtain regular disbursements beginning either immediately or at
some point in the future.
If you speak to people in complicated language…
…they’ll try to do the same back to you. Which changes their mindset.
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I can't signify the
naming as such.
You'd have to
explain that as to
the differential on
both of the
questions you've
asked.
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1. Talk like a real personAssume intelligence, not knowledge
Choose words that resonate
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Seaside
This might make you think of sand, sunshine, ice-cream…
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Coastal region
This might make you think of cliffs, rain and geography field trips.
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But they’re basically the same thing.
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AfterBefore
Sally will also have a guaranteed index
linked income for the rest of her life
should you predecease her.
Find the simplest, most resonant way to say something.
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AfterBefore
Sally will also have a guaranteed index
linked income for the rest of her life
should you die before her.
Sally will also have a guaranteed index
linked income for the rest of her life
should you predecease her.
Find the simplest, most resonant way to say something.
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AfterBefore
But, if you no longer want my review
service, you can cancel at any time.
You can do this by getting in touch with
the provider, and letting them know you
want to stop your payment.
If however you no longer wish to
receive my review service you are at
liberty to cancel this charge at any time
and can do so by contacting the
provider directly and confirming your
wish for this payment to cease.
Find the simplest, most resonant way to say something.
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Wait – but
isn’t this
dumbing
down?
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Meet Professor Daniel Oppenheimer
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Consequences of Erudite Vernacular
Utilized Irrespective of Necessity
Prof. Oppenheimer’s study was called:
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Consequences of Erudite Vernacular
Utilized Irrespective of Necessity
Problems with using long words needlessly
Prof. Oppenheimer’s study was called:
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“Contrary to prevailing wisdom, increasing the complexity of a text
does not cause an essay’s author to seem more intelligent. In fact, the
opposite appears to be true…Complexity neither disguised the
shortcomings of poor essays, nor enhanced the appeal of high-quality
essays. The mediation analysis suggests that the reason that simple
texts are viewed more positively than complex texts was due to
fluency. Complex texts are difficult to read, which in turn…lowers
judgements of an author’s intelligence.”
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Meet Professor Christopher R. Trudeau
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There was a statistically significant correlation between educational
level and the likelihood that a respondent would choose the plain-
language version. That is, as education increased, so did the
preference for plain language.
Prof. Trudeau studied people’s responses to legal documents.
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There was a statistically significant correlation between educational
level and the likelihood that a respondent would choose the plain-
language version. That is, as education increased, so did the
preference for plain language.
These results debunk the argument that higher-educated people will
not mind traditional legal language as much as others do. Rather,
even though people with advanced degrees might understand
traditional legal style, that’s not what they prefer.
Prof. Trudeau studied people’s responses to legal documents.
Clear, simple language is not dumbing down. Educated people know
what’s clear and they appreciate it.
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1. Talk like a real personAssume intelligence, not knowledge
Choose words that resonate
Use strong verbs not abstract nouns
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Democracy
Heroism
Design
Imagination
Love
Health
Peace
Abstract nouns aren’t always bad.
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Facilitation
Engagement
Management
Documentation
Communication
Collaboration
Strategy
Lots of the annoying ones end in –ment or -tion.
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Recuperation
Requirement
Identification
Expiration
Reduction
Recommendation
Confirmation
Here are some financial planners seem to like:
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Preparation for retirement
Preparing for retirement
Preparing to retire
Getting ready to stop work
You can turn abstract nouns into verbs, then decide if you’re using the
strongest verbs you can.
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AfterBefore
If you need me to clarify anything, please get in
touch.
If you need me to clear anything up, please get in
touch.
If you require any further clarification, please contact
me immediately.
You can turn abstract nouns into verbs, then decide if you’re using the
strongest verbs you can.
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1. Talk like a real personAssume intelligence, not knowledge
Choose words that resonate
Use strong verbs not abstract nouns
Put people in
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AfterBefore
We require the following original documents from
you.
We’ll need you to send us the following original
documents.
The following original documents are required.
Putting people in makes it clear who needs to do what.
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Using the active voice
The cat sat on the mat.
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Using the active voice
The cat
WHO
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Using the active voice
The cat
WHO
sat on
DID SOMETHING
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Using the active voice
The cat
WHO
sat on
DID SOMETHING
the mat
TO WHAT
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Using the active voice
The mat was sat on by the cat.
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Using the passive voice
The mat
WHAT
was sat on
HAD SOMETHING
DONE TO IT
by the cat
BY WHOM
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Using the passive voice
The mat
WHAT
was sat on
HAD SOMETHING
DONE TO IT
by the cat
BY WHOM
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Using the passive voice
The mat was sat on.
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In the passive voice, nobody takes responsibility
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Meet Professor Richard Wiseman
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The language of liars
• Liars remove themselves from the story by
avoiding pronouns like I, mine and myself
• Liars use longer and more convoluted
sentence structure by padding things out
with unnecessary, complicated words
So when you use the passive voice, you sound like you might be lying.
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AfterBefore
Whilst we’ve made every effort to ensure accuracy,
we can’t accept liability for any errors or omissions.
We’ve done as much as we can to make sure the
information is accurate. If we’ve made any mistakes
or left anything out, we’re not liable.
We’ve done as much as we can to make sure the
information is accurate. If you notice a mistake,
please let us know. Otherwise, we’re not liable for
any mistakes you notice later down the line.
Whilst every effort has been made to ensure
accuracy, no liability can be accepted for any errors
or omissions.
Using the active voice helps you work out what you really want to say.
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2. Cut to the chaseUse short sentences
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AfterBefore
This would be the most tax-efficient way of drawing
this income. It would also be the most sensible way.
That’s because you would not be drawing down on
crystallised funds that are deemed income
producing, so you would not affect your annual
allowance. This means you would be able to make
pension contributions in the future up to the
maximum annual allowance of £40,000, as opposed
to triggering the Money Purchase annual allowance
restriction of £10,000.
This would be the most tax-efficient way of drawing
this income and it would also be the most sensible
way as you would not be drawing down on
crystallised funds that are deemed income producing
therefore you would not affect your annual allowance
and would be able to make pension contributions in
the future up to the maximum annual allowance of
£40,000 as opposed to triggering the Money
Purchase annual allowance restriction of £10,000.
If you just put more full stops in…
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AfterBefore
This would be the most tax-efficient way of drawing
this income. It would also be the most sensible way.
That’s because you would not be drawing down on
crystallised funds that are deemed income
producing, so you would not affect your annual
allowance. This means you would be able to make
pension contributions in the future up to the
maximum annual allowance of £40,000, as opposed
to triggering the Money Purchase annual allowance
restriction of £10,000.
This would be the most tax-efficient way of drawing
this income and it would also be the most sensible
way as you would not be drawing down on
crystallised funds that are deemed income producing
therefore you would not affect your annual allowance
and would be able to make pension contributions in
the future up to the maximum annual allowance of
£40,000 as opposed to triggering the Money
Purchase annual allowance restriction of £10,000.
…your writing is immediately easier to read and understand.
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2. Cut to the chaseUse short sentences
Put the important stuff up front
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2. Cut to the chaseUse short sentences
Put the important stuff up front
Cut anything you don’t need
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AfterBefore
I have undertaken an analysis of your needs and
requirements.
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AfterBefore
I have analysed your needs.I have undertaken an analysis of your needs and
requirements.
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3. Guide your readerUse headings that mean something
What does the reader really need to know?
If someone only read the headings, would they get the general idea?
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3. Guide your readerUse headings that mean something
Use bullets consistently
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Is the important stuff the clearest
thing on the page?
Are all these bullet points all
equally important?
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3. Guide your readerUse headings that mean something
Use bullets consistently
Break your contents into sections
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Let’s put it all together
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The heading should tell you what’s really in the section.
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The heading should mean something to a normal human.
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A pointer is more helpful than ‘please note’.
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Some great layout and bullet points. Needs a new heading though.
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Some bold lines really tell you what’s going on. Follow that through.
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These bold lines really tell you what that bit is about.
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The graphics are great – if they’re consistent.
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The graphics are great – if they actually mean something.
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Focus on what the reader needs to know – and why.
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If you want to explain the background, put it in the background.
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So you’ve got space at the front for what’s really relevant.
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page 22
page 26
page 27
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If you really want to explain something, do it once, then stop.
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Nobody will mind if you get straight to the point.
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Clear your throat, then go back and cut it.
So what really matters stands out.
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You can write how you’d talk.
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How many of the things we’ve talked about can you spot?
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Risks to your investments
• The government might change the rules about how they tax investments.
• If your investments don’t grow by more than the amount we charge in
fees, the fees will eat into your capital.
• If you take out more money than the amount your investments grow,
what you take out will eat into your capital.
This is a quick rewrite.
• Don’t be afraid to repeat important words.
• Does it really need to be in bullet points?
• Does this?
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Here’s what we talked about
Talk like a human• Assume intelligence, not knowledge
• Use words that resonate
• Use strong verbs instead of abstract nouns
• Put people in
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Here’s what we talked about
Talk like a human
Cut to the chase• Use short sentences
• Put the important stuff first
• Cut
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Here’s what we talked about
Talk like a human
Cut to the chase
Guide your reader• Use headings that mean something
• Use bullets consistently
• Break your contents into sections
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Don’t disappoint Professor Fluffikins