how to make financial reports easier to read and understand

How(wow) to get the words

right in your reports

Emily Bate – Writer (who’s feeling much better now, thanks)

Joe Craig – Writer

Energy

Money

Health

Society

We exist to make…

…more meaningful to

more people.

Clear Vivid Real

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The way we talk to people

shapes the way they react to us

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That chair looks a bit

worn – is it second-hand?

That chair’s got so much

character – is it vintage?

Friendly Rude

The same information, presented differently, gets a different reaction.

Words change how we feel, so they change how we behave.

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The way we talk to people tells

them what we’re like

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Put the mushrooms in a bowl and add the chopped herbs, a pinch of

salt and the lemon juice. Using your hands, get stuck in and toss

everything together – this is going to be incredible!

Take your risotto and add a little more seasoning if you like. Serve a

good dollop of risotto topped with some grilled mushrooms, a sprinkling

of freshly grated Parmesan and a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil.

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First of all, you need to soak the dried porcini mushrooms and to do

this, you place them in a jug or a bowl and pour 570 ml of boiling water

over them. Meanwhile, chop the fresh mushrooms into 1 cm chunks –

not too small, as they shrink down quite a bit in the cooking.

When the mushrooms have soaked for half and hour, place a sieve

over a bowl, line the sieve with a sheet of kitchen paper and strain the

mushrooms, reserving the liquid.

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They’re making the same thing, but talking about it in a different way.

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The way we talk to people helps

us stand out from the

competition

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Hey long legs, fancy

some extra leg-room on

your flight? We have two

great value options for

you to kick back with

those extra inches.

Our best-value fares

include online check-in,

a generous baggage

allowance, allocated

seats, complimentary

drinks snacks or meals.

Forgettable Memorable

Airlines all sell the same thing,

but the way they talk makes them different

BA Virgin

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What’s all this got to

do with us?

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“[This research suggests] a Great Divide…between insiders and

outsiders, between producers and consumers, between the vocal

minority who sell financial services and the silent majority who buy.”

“Words matter – indeed they may never have mattered more.”

Andrew Haldane

Chief Economist, Bank of England

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“[We need to] make them more accessible for consumers and reduce

the time firms spend preparing them. This includes, for example,

layering information so the most important material is included towards

the start of the report and simplifying the language used.”

Easy to write

Easy to read

This is what the FCA says about annual reports:

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Words are an opportunity

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1. Talk like a real person

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2. Cut to the chase

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3. Guide your reader

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1. Talk like a real personAssume intelligence, not knowledge

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An annuity is a contract between you and an insurance company in

which you make a lump sum payment or series of payments and in

return obtain regular disbursements beginning either immediately or at

some point in the future.

If you speak to people in complicated language…

…they’ll try to do the same back to you. Which changes their mindset.

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I can't signify the

naming as such.

You'd have to

explain that as to

the differential on

both of the

questions you've

asked.

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Choose words that resonate

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Seaside

This might make you think of sand, sunshine, ice-cream…

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Coastal region

This might make you think of cliffs, rain and geography field trips.

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But they’re basically the same thing.

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AfterBefore

Sally will also have a guaranteed index

linked income for the rest of her life

should you predecease her.

Find the simplest, most resonant way to say something.

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AfterBefore



should you die before her.



should you predecease her.


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AfterBefore

But, if you no longer want my review

service, you can cancel at any time.

You can do this by getting in touch with

the provider, and letting them know you

want to stop your payment.

If however you no longer wish to

receive my review service you are at

liberty to cancel this charge at any time

and can do so by contacting the

provider directly and confirming your

wish for this payment to cease.


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Wait – but

isn’t this

dumbing

down?

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Meet Professor Daniel Oppenheimer

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Consequences of Erudite Vernacular

Utilized Irrespective of Necessity

Prof. Oppenheimer’s study was called:

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Consequences of Erudite Vernacular

Utilized Irrespective of Necessity

Problems with using long words needlessly

Prof. Oppenheimer’s study was called:

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“Contrary to prevailing wisdom, increasing the complexity of a text

does not cause an essay’s author to seem more intelligent. In fact, the

opposite appears to be true…Complexity neither disguised the

shortcomings of poor essays, nor enhanced the appeal of high-quality

essays. The mediation analysis suggests that the reason that simple

texts are viewed more positively than complex texts was due to

fluency. Complex texts are difficult to read, which in turn…lowers

judgements of an author’s intelligence.”

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Meet Professor Christopher R. Trudeau

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There was a statistically significant correlation between educational

level and the likelihood that a respondent would choose the plain-

language version. That is, as education increased, so did the

preference for plain language.

Prof. Trudeau studied people’s responses to legal documents.

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There was a statistically significant correlation between educational

level and the likelihood that a respondent would choose the plain-

language version. That is, as education increased, so did the

preference for plain language.

These results debunk the argument that higher-educated people will

not mind traditional legal language as much as others do. Rather,

even though people with advanced degrees might understand

traditional legal style, that’s not what they prefer.

Prof. Trudeau studied people’s responses to legal documents.

Clear, simple language is not dumbing down. Educated people know

what’s clear and they appreciate it.

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Use strong verbs not abstract nouns

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Democracy

Heroism

Design

Imagination

Love

Health

Peace

Abstract nouns aren’t always bad.

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Facilitation

Engagement

Management

Documentation

Communication

Collaboration

Strategy

Lots of the annoying ones end in –ment or -tion.

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Recuperation

Requirement

Identification

Expiration

Reduction

Recommendation

Confirmation

Here are some financial planners seem to like:

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Preparation for retirement

Preparing for retirement

Preparing to retire

Getting ready to stop work

You can turn abstract nouns into verbs, then decide if you’re using the

strongest verbs you can.

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AfterBefore

If you need me to clarify anything, please get in

touch.

If you need me to clear anything up, please get in

touch.

If you require any further clarification, please contact

me immediately.

You can turn abstract nouns into verbs, then decide if you’re using the

strongest verbs you can.

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Use strong verbs not abstract nouns

Put people in

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AfterBefore

We require the following original documents from

you.

We’ll need you to send us the following original

documents.

The following original documents are required.

Putting people in makes it clear who needs to do what.

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Using the active voice

The cat sat on the mat.

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The cat

WHO

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The cat

WHO

sat on

DID SOMETHING

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The cat

WHO

sat on

DID SOMETHING

the mat

TO WHAT

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The mat was sat on by the cat.

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Using the passive voice

The mat

WHAT

was sat on

HAD SOMETHING

DONE TO IT

by the cat

BY WHOM

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The mat

WHAT

was sat on

HAD SOMETHING

DONE TO IT

by the cat

BY WHOM

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The mat was sat on.

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In the passive voice, nobody takes responsibility

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Meet Professor Richard Wiseman

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The language of liars

• Liars remove themselves from the story by

avoiding pronouns like I, mine and myself

• Liars use longer and more convoluted

sentence structure by padding things out

with unnecessary, complicated words

So when you use the passive voice, you sound like you might be lying.

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AfterBefore

Whilst we’ve made every effort to ensure accuracy,

we can’t accept liability for any errors or omissions.

We’ve done as much as we can to make sure the

information is accurate. If we’ve made any mistakes

or left anything out, we’re not liable.

We’ve done as much as we can to make sure the

information is accurate. If you notice a mistake,

please let us know. Otherwise, we’re not liable for

any mistakes you notice later down the line.

Whilst every effort has been made to ensure

accuracy, no liability can be accepted for any errors

or omissions.

Using the active voice helps you work out what you really want to say.

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2. Cut to the chaseUse short sentences

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AfterBefore

This would be the most tax-efficient way of drawing

this income. It would also be the most sensible way.

That’s because you would not be drawing down on

crystallised funds that are deemed income

producing, so you would not affect your annual

allowance. This means you would be able to make

pension contributions in the future up to the

maximum annual allowance of £40,000, as opposed

to triggering the Money Purchase annual allowance

restriction of £10,000.


this income and it would also be the most sensible

way as you would not be drawing down on

crystallised funds that are deemed income producing

therefore you would not affect your annual allowance

and would be able to make pension contributions in

the future up to the maximum annual allowance of

£40,000 as opposed to triggering the Money

Purchase annual allowance restriction of £10,000.

If you just put more full stops in…

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AfterBefore


this income. It would also be the most sensible way.

That’s because you would not be drawing down on

crystallised funds that are deemed income

producing, so you would not affect your annual

allowance. This means you would be able to make

pension contributions in the future up to the

maximum annual allowance of £40,000, as opposed

to triggering the Money Purchase annual allowance

restriction of £10,000.


this income and it would also be the most sensible

way as you would not be drawing down on

crystallised funds that are deemed income producing

therefore you would not affect your annual allowance

and would be able to make pension contributions in

the future up to the maximum annual allowance of

£40,000 as opposed to triggering the Money

Purchase annual allowance restriction of £10,000.

…your writing is immediately easier to read and understand.

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Put the important stuff up front

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Put the important stuff up front

Cut anything you don’t need

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AfterBefore

I have undertaken an analysis of your needs and

requirements.

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AfterBefore

I have analysed your needs.I have undertaken an analysis of your needs and

requirements.

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3. Guide your readerUse headings that mean something

What does the reader really need to know?

If someone only read the headings, would they get the general idea?

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Use bullets consistently

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Is the important stuff the clearest

thing on the page?

Are all these bullet points all

equally important?

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Use bullets consistently

Break your contents into sections

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Let’s put it all together

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The heading should tell you what’s really in the section.

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The heading should mean something to a normal human.

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A pointer is more helpful than ‘please note’.

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Some great layout and bullet points. Needs a new heading though.

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Some bold lines really tell you what’s going on. Follow that through.

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These bold lines really tell you what that bit is about.

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The graphics are great – if they’re consistent.

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The graphics are great – if they actually mean something.

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Focus on what the reader needs to know – and why.

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If you want to explain the background, put it in the background.

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So you’ve got space at the front for what’s really relevant.

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page 22

page 26

page 27

page 28

If you really want to explain something, do it once, then stop.

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Nobody will mind if you get straight to the point.

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Clear your throat, then go back and cut it.

So what really matters stands out.

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You can write how you’d talk.

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How many of the things we’ve talked about can you spot?

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Risks to your investments

• The government might change the rules about how they tax investments.

• If your investments don’t grow by more than the amount we charge in

fees, the fees will eat into your capital.

• If you take out more money than the amount your investments grow,

what you take out will eat into your capital.

This is a quick rewrite.

• Don’t be afraid to repeat important words.

• Does it really need to be in bullet points?

• Does this?

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Here’s what we talked about

Talk like a human• Assume intelligence, not knowledge

• Use words that resonate

• Use strong verbs instead of abstract nouns

• Put people in

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Talk like a human

Cut to the chase• Use short sentences

• Put the important stuff first

• Cut

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Talk like a human

Cut to the chase

Guide your reader• Use headings that mean something

• Use bullets consistently

• Break your contents into sections

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Don’t disappoint Professor Fluffikins

[email protected]

020 7970 6011

40 Bowling Green Lane

London EC1R 0NE

www.quietroom.co.uk

Thanks

how to make financial reports easier to read and understand

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