Helping Parents Deal with Challenging Behaviours

Goal of Session

Outline tools parents can use when dealing with challenging behaviours

Material for this session is based on CCCF publications:

Meeting the Challenge

Meeting the Challenge Facilitators Guide

 

Session Overview

• Understanding children’s behaviour

• Strategies to prevent challenging behaviour

• Managing challenging behaviour

Understanding children’s behaviour

• What is challenging behaviour?

• Challenging behaviour VS age appropriate behaviour

• Causes of challenging behaviour

• Biological risk factors VS environmental risk factors

Challenging behaviour is any behaviour that:

• interferes with children’s learning, development and success at play;

• is harmful to the child, other children

or adults;

• puts a child at high risk for later social problems or school failure.

Age appropriate behaviour

Human beings are not born with social skills,

they learn them.

What causes challenging behaviours?

• Social learning?

• Cognition?

• Problem solving ?

• Attachment?

Biological Risk Factors

• Pregnancy complications

• Mother’s use of drugs, alcohol or tobacco

during pregnancy

• Attention deficit disorder (ADD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)

• Temperament

• Gender

Environmental Risk Factors

• Poverty , social conditions surrounding it

• Exposure to violence

• Parenting style and family factors

• Viewing violent television/films/actions

• Low quality child care

Stressful life events that may put children at risk

• A mother who had her first child when she was very young

• Parents who completed fewer than 10 years of school

• Parents who fight

• A parent with a mental illness

• A parent who is abusing drugs or alcohol

• A parent with criminal behaviour

Factors that enable children to cope well despite adversity

• An easy temperament

• Problem-solving skills

• Sociability

• Skill-based competence

• Self-esteem

• Involvement in hobbies

• Having responsibility

Key Points

• Never blame

• Focus on the elements that can be influenced directly

• Boost the child’s capacity

• Parents can teach their children coping skills

• Acting early and intensively increases

children’s resilience

Strategies to prevent challenging behavioursWhat can be done?

• Lay the foundation

• Prevent challenging behaviours

• Learn to anticipate child’s behaviours/reactions

• Remind child of what to do

• Build a new pattern

Strategies to prevent challenging behavioursWhat can be done?

Use body language

Listen attentively.

Ask “Can I help?”

Show empathy

Reframe her statements in a positive light

Respond to the child’s need

Adapting the situation

The Environment

- Too many people in the space

- Too much open space

- Too much noise

- Too many choices or too many toys

- Competitive games, violent toys and violent role playing

Adapting the situation (cont.)

The Schedule

- Transition times

- Bed time

- Wake up time

The Expectations

- Provide opportunities for child to help out

- Give child responsibilities

- Have realistic expectations of their behaviour

Tell tale signs of challenging behavioursWhat to look for…

Physiological Signs

Tears, peeing, clenched teeth, pallor, rigidity , rapid breathing , sweating, fidgeting, vomiting

Behaviour Signs

Downcast eyes, withdrawing, hair twirling, thumb sucking, hair sucking, clothes sucking, clinging, biting fingernails, whining, noisy, quiet, screaming, smirking, giggling

Managing Challenging BehavioursPrinciples of Responses

Be positive!

Make straight forward statements

Eliminate “Why did you do that?”

Replace negative words with positive, respectful, non-threatening statements

Managing Challenging BehavioursPrinciples of Responses (cont.)

• Change the environment

• Replace the challenging behaviour with appropriate behaviour

• Ignore the challenging behaviour as much as possible

Teaching Response vs. Limiting Response

Teaching Response

Makes expectations clear

• A brief instruction in a given situation

e.g. Eric and Sean, during lunch we sit at the table.

Limiting Response

Helps child think about what he’s doing- provides choices

• An intervention that gives a choice but sets a clear limit

e.g. Eric and Sean, you decide. You can sit together or you can sit at different tables.

Hints for framing a limiting response

Make your statement short and specific

State the positive first

Make both the words and delivery of the message calm and non threatening

Pose choices that give children control over the situation

Be sure you can enforce the choices

Establish consequences ahead and make them fair and reasonable

Use language that empowers child

Model behaviour that you expect

Give limiting response only once.

Be consistent

Allow for saving face

Functional Assessments as a Tool

• Conduct observations and analyze

A – the Antecedent

B – the Behaviour

C – the Consequence

Once you understand the function of behaviour…

• Change the antecedent

• Replace the challenging behaviour with appropriate behaviour

• Ignore the challenging behaviour

Accentuate the positive

• Name the behaviour that you want to enforce

• Focus on specifics

• Emphasize the process, not the product

• Be sincere and direct

• Use your natural voice

• Avoid comparisons

• Help children appreciate their own behaviour and achievements

Suggested Physical Responses

• Safe distance – physically and psychologically

• Relax your facial features

• Non-confrontational body language

• Do not try to move the child

• Eye contact

• Do not talk until child is ready to listen

• Do not insist on an apology or an explanation for behaviour

• Once calm, spend time with the child

To time out or not to time out?

• Often been misused/overused

• Adherents “it tells the child that you care and interrupts/prevents aggressive behaviour.”

• Opponents : “it damages self esteem by punishing and embarrassing/humiliating the child in front of peers .”

• More useful = redirection and to encourage a child to “take a break”, have “private time” or “sit and watch” when they feel agitated

• Adult must be calm and respectful, not angry or threatening

Working with parents

• What are their goals and expectations for their child?

• Provide information about child development

Encourage them to…

…view inappropriate behaviour as an opportunity

…take it slowly

…reflect on their coping strategy

…look for small improvements

Remind them that things may get worse before they get better.

Advise them to give it a reasonable amount of time – then try another approach.

Meeting the ChallengeWritten by Barbara Kaiser and Judy Skylar Rasminsky

Published by the Canadian Child Care Federation

$18 each, $15 each for more than 10 copies.

This bilingual resource can be ordered from our e store

www.qualitychildcarecanada.ca

Direct link: https://ppq2.paypaq.com/mastercart/Cart/product_details.php?mid=855019341071081038&product_id=633357961075927811

Also available…

This CD contains a series of workshops to help develop strategies for guiding young children's behaviour that reflect the values and needs of Aboriginal communities.

Other Resources:CCCF Resource Sheets

RS #5 98 Ways to Say Very Good

RS # 48 Tips for Parenting Children with Challenging Behaviours

RS # 82 Physical Punishment, It’s harmful and it doesn’t work

Canadian Child Care Resource Sheet Collection is available for free download off our website for educational use.

http://www.cccf-fcsge.ca/publications/resourcesheets_en.html

The Canadian Child Care Federation

Our organization is about the value of children.

We value children.

Thank you.

Robin McMillan RECE

rmcmillan@cccf-fcsge.ca

Senior Consultant, Canadian Child Care Federation

Some inspiration from

Unless someone like you cares

a whole awful lot,

nothing is going to get better.

It's not.