healing from the inside manual
TRANSCRIPT
EMOTIONAL ROADBLOCKS:
WRESTLING THE FOUR PRIMARY EMOTIONS
A Manual for Church Leaders and Community Leaders for Emotional, Spiritual and
Psychological Wellness
By Julia Kagunda
© 2015
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ABOUT ELIM PALMS RENEWAL CENTER (EPRC)
Who are we?
Elim Palms Renewal Centre (EPRC) is an organization passionate about facilitating
psychological and emotional renewal which is achieved through counselling and coaching. Apart
from working with families, couples, teenagers and individuals, EPRC also works with pastors,
Christian leaders and other professionals working in Christian organizations and in the general
market place. We provide psychological debriefing and counselling to this group of people.
Our Services
EPRC is an organization that seeks to see Christian leaders and professionals who are
psychologically and emotionally renewed for effective ministry. This is achieved through a
triple-pillar strategy:
Psychological debriefing and restorative professional counselling
Leadership strengthening
Capacity building
i. Professional debriefing
Pastors and Christian professionals work in demanding environments where high levels
of confidentiality coupled with high expectations of success and capacity to cope are
required. As a result, they are bound to experience vicarious traumatization; one‟s
capacity to feel well and function normally. This coupled with on-going spiritual warfare,
often leads to burnout or compassion fatigue and many a times, withdrawal or fall from
grace. EPRC offers professional debriefing in a safe and secure environment where
pastors, Christian leaders and professionals are able to open up, process and manage the
impact of highly stressful situations.
ii. Professional counselling
The professional position of pastors and Christian leaders often denies them the access to
the very spiritual counselling care they are expected to provide to others. Realizing that
life‟s struggles sometimes prove overwhelming, EPRC provides a “doorway to
recovery,” through restorative counselling in a safe and confidential environment where
pastors, Christian leaders and professionals process issues and feelings are expressed and
received with respect and understanding. We offer both individual and group counselling
in Marriage and Family Therapy, Work Related Stress, Conflict Resolution, Personality
Disorders, Anxiety and Depression Counselling, Addictions, Loss and Grief and other
cross-cutting issues affecting pastors, Christian leaders and professionals.
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iii. Capacity building
Through seminars, workshops and other forums, EPRC offers the following capacity
building services to pastors, Christian leaders and professionals:
a. Self-care for Christian leaders and professionals
b. Marriage and family seminars
c. Stress management
d. Conflict management skills
e. Counselling psychology workshops for pastors or
f. Facilitation in developing guidance and counselling policies for churches and
Christian organizations.
iv. Leadership Strengthening
EPRC seeks to restore model leadership in the church. Having had a collective ministry
experience of over 50 years, the principles at EPRC are so keenly aware of the dire need
for model leadership in the church. As such, EPRC seeks to come alongside leaders and
provide training, coaching and facilitate creation of mentoring and accountability
mechanisms among Christian leaders and professionals with the hope of developing
models of leadership within and without the church.
CONTACT US
For any information or help, kindly reach us using either one of the following means:
Telephone: +254 713 239 334
E-mail: [email protected]
Address: P.O. BOX 1100-00600
Bekim House, Westlands
Website: www.elimpalmscentre.org
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FOREWORD
UNEARTHING DEEP SEATED PAINFUL EMOTIONS
We are living in a society characterized by low level of employment, poverty, political and tribal
conflicts, domestic violence and people struggling to make their ends meet. The church has also
not been spared from these life struggles. Besides, we see a number of conflicts facing churches,
ranging from increased marital conflicts, depression and mood disorders, wrangles within
churches amongst other issues.
In view of this it has become apparent for the church to deal with emotional issues facing their
congregation and community as a whole. Moreover, the ministers of the Gospel also have to
understand and appreciate some emotional baggage they may be carrying and how to deal with
them.
Research shows that there are 4 primary emotions, which if not dealt with, can lead to other
secondary emotions. These four emotions are namely: hurt sadness, guilt and fear. Without
proper intervention and healing, other emotions show their ugly heads like anger, bitterness,
vengeance, malice, helplessness and so on.
Based on the Bible, this manual shows how Biblical characters, including Jesus Christ, dealt with
some of these emotions.
“The LORD is near to the broken-hearted. And saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalms
34:18). He not only heals physical wounds but emotional and psychological wounds so that we
can be whole again.
Blessings,
…………………………….
Mrs. Julia Kagunda
Director of Elim Palms Renewal Center
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Table of Contents
CHAPTER 1: THE DOWNFALL OF THE KING’S HOUSE: WHEN “MR HURT” WAS SUPPRESSED ...............VI
Love becomes Sour ........................................................................................................................VII
Upheaval in the Kings House .......................................................................................................... IX
Revolt in the Kings House ................................................................................................................ X
David in Flight................................................................................................................................... X
Reflection Questions ....................................................................................................................... XI
Application ...................................................................................................................................... XI
CHAPTER 2: WHEN THE MIGHTY TREMBLED WITH FEAR ...................................................................... XII
Reflection Questions ..................................................................................................................... XV
CHAPTER 3: WHEN THE SECOND IN COMMAND REFUSED TO GRIEVE INSIDE HIS CLOSET ............... XVII
The Dungeon Experience .............................................................................................................. XIX
From Dungeon to a Governor ....................................................................................................... XIX
The Governor‘s Vulnerable Point ................................................................................................... XX
Story 2: The King of the Universe Weeps ......................................................................................... XXI
Story 3: Jesus: The Garden of Gethsemane Experience ................................................................... XXI
Reflective Questions .................................................................................................................... XXII
The King of Israel refuses to be comforted .................................................................................. XXII
The Kings Cupbearer Mourns Over a Wall .................................................................................. XXIII
Personal Application ................................................................................................................... XXIII
CHAPTER 4: DEALING WITH GUILT: A FEW DAYS TURN TO 21 YEARS OF SERVICE ....................... XXIV
The Snatched Blessing ................................................................................................................. XXV
Jacob Runs for his life ................................................................................................................. XXVI
Further Reading: ...................................................................................................................... XXVIII
Reflection Questions ................................................................................................................ XXVIII
Personal Application ................................................................................................................ XXVIII
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CHAPTER 1: THE DOWNFALL OF THE KING’S HOUSE: WHEN “MR HURT”
WAS SUPPRESSED It was in the ancient days. The king had a beautiful daughter called Tamar. Her beauty was even
noticed by her brothers. Her looks stood out that even her brothers could not help but notice her
extra ordinary beauty, which was accompanied by calculated steps of walking.
But there was one brother, Amnon, David‟s eldest son, who particularly took note of her. When
Tamar reached puberty, he developed an unnatural obsession with his young half-sister. He
watched her from a far, waited in places where she passed, and literary stared at her. The more
he looked, the more there was an obsession to possess her. But strangely, although the customs
allowed, Amnon was not prepared to extend his hand in marriage. Possibly there were political
matters that could not be upset.
But there was a catch, as a royal princess and a virgin, Tamar was closely watched. She lived in
the women‟s quarters, and could not go outside its walls unless accompanied by other women to
guard her. But determined to look for a way out, Amnon consulted his cousin, who was quite
shrewd. As they parted company, Amnon‟s ego had been massaged; having not only been armed
with a plan, but with the words: “you are the son‟s king…and the eldest son for that matter;
nothing should deter you from your heart‟s desire”.
And the plan succeeded after Amnon feigned illness to the extent that his father, the king, went
to see him. “My appetite is completely gone,” in a small sly voice, Amnon told his father. As the
father stared, lost in thoughts wondering how to support his son, Amnon was quick to say,
“uuuh, perhaps, I think my sister Tamar should come and prepare special bread in my sight, so I
may eat from her hand…” Without giving it much thought or attention, the father quickly bought
into the plan. “Anything for my first born …,” the father concluded. Immediately he sent word to
Tamar at the palace. “Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him”.
But the command was not taken lightly by the women who had been charged with the
responsibility of taking care of Tamar.
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“Wake up and have the bread I have prepared for you,” gently, with an innocent voice, Tamar
urged the brother. Amnon stretched from his bed but there was a hidden cheeky smile on his
face. He then sat up and looked around. “Send everyone out of here,” with a stern voice, Amnon
commanded everyone to leave the house. Knowing the kind of a man he was, the servants,
though confused just adhered to the command. “uuh who dares argue with a king‟s son,”
whispered one of the servants as he walked away. “Call it intuition” the servant thought, “this
will not end well”.
“Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand,” Amnon sheepishly asked
Tamar. And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and took to Amnon in his bedroom. With
eyes full of lust, Amnon watched her from foot to her face as she walked in. “Come to bed with
me, my sister”. Trembling to a point of dropping the bread in her arms and with her heart racing
quite fast, Tamar pleaded, “Don‟t my brother.” But, by now, Amnon had jumped out of bed and
grabbed the sister. With her voice shaking, Tamar pleaded further; “don‟t force me. Such a thing
should not be done in Israel. Do not do this wicked thing….”
“Shut up,” said Amnon as he slapped her.
But determined to get out of his grip, Tamar tried to free herself as she continued with her plea…
“What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like
one for the wicked fools in Israel….”
By now Amnon had pinned Tamar down but Tamar continued with her plea…
“Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you…. Oh stop it
Amnon…”
But it fell on deaf ears. Amnon who was strong and built up, forced himself into his small sister.
Love becomes Sour
As soon he was through with his business, Amnon looked at the sister and despised her. He hated
her with a passion such that the hate was much greater than the love he had for her initially.
Tamar was now spoilt goods, with no value. “Get up and get out,” with eyes full of disgust and
animosity, Amnon shouted at Tamar.
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“NO!!!!” shouted Tamar, “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have
already done to me…”
“Just get out,” Amnon, who was half dressed, was shouting at the top of his voice as he called his
personal servant.
“Get this woman out of here and bolt the door after her.” As Tamar was thrown out of the door,
her name had become extinct. She had become “this woman”.
Reaching out to the ashes she had used to prepare bread for Amnon, she put them on her head. It
was symbol of morning and shame. She reached out for her richly ornamented robe; the kind of
garment the virgin daughters of kings wore. But it had lost its taste. It was no longer valuable.
Within minutes it had turned into a normal piece of cloth. The dress symbolized her inner self;
she felt like a tattered piece of cloth physically and emotionally. No wonder Tamar tore the
ornamented robe.
With a lot of anguish, with full knowledge of her status in the society, Tamar put her hand on her
head. Confused, she went away. She was weeping so loudly that the whole palace came to a
standstill. Her deep intense pain accompanied by crying and wailing caused a stir. The onlookers
could not help but wonder what had become of the kings daughter. But in her heart she knew her
status never mattered any more. After all they did not protect her from the deep hurt and
brokenness she was going through…
Just then her brother Absalom appeared. He said to her:
“Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet now, my sister; he is your brother. Do
not take this thing to heart”.
But that was the end of the story. Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad. But
he hated him because he had disgraced his sister, Tamar. As for the father, the king, he was
furious. But that was the end of it; no one was to speak about it anymore. The feelings were
tucked and semi buried.
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Tamar status changed within a couple of minutes. The palace was no longer her place. She lived
in her brother‟s house. She no longer had servants watching over her. The beautiful Tamar lived
as an isolated, desolate woman.
Upheaval in the Kings House
Two years later Absalom organized a party and approached his father, the king, “your servant
has had shearers come over. Will the king and his officials please join me?‟ However, the king,
not wanting to be a burden to his son, gave him his blessings and urged him to go on.
“If not, please let my brother Amnon come with us” Absalom pleaded with the father. The king
was quite uncomfortable about releasing Amnon but after much persuasion he agreed.
And the party ensued. Drinks and food were in plenty. There was a lot of merry. But at midnight,
Absalom winked at his men. At that point Amnon was in high spirits from drinking wine.
Absalom servants surrounded Amnon. But they were fearful and scared as they thought of how
the king was going to react. But as Absalom threw a glance at them, they quickly remembered
his words: “Strike Amnon down and then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not given you this
order? Be strong and brave”.
So Absalom‟s men struck Amnon and then killed him after which all the king‟s sons got up,
mounted their mules and fled.
Meanwhile a word got to the king that Absalom had struck all his sons. The king stood up, tore
his clothes and lay down on the ground and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn.
But the king had a brother called Jonadab who was a shrewd man. He was known for giving
wrong advice. Apparently he was the one who had given Amnon advice on how to trap Tamar.
And clearly, he had a hand in helping Absalom to execute his plan. It is no wonder he was quick
to mention to the mourning king that Absalom had only killed Amnon, “this has been
Absalom‟s expressed intention ever since the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar”.
Meanwhile, Absalom fled. The other kings‟ son went to their father wailing loudly. The king too,
and all his servants, wept very bitterly.
That day the king lost his two sons; one to death and the other one fled for three years.
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Revolt in the Kings House
After three years Absalom did return to Jerusalem but for two years he was not permitted to see
his father. David could not forgive Absalom for the cruel deed of killing his first son, Amnon.
But meanwhile, as much as he was finally permitted to see his father through Joab‟s intercession,
Absalom hated his father and designed schemes for dethroning him and taking the kingdom from
him.
Knowing that the first born son was no more, Absalom considered himself the heir to the throne.
But deep down he knew his father‟s heart had been wounded so he devised a plan. He went
southward with two hundred unsuspecting followers. In Hebron he sounded the trumpet-call.
Alas! With the trumpet call, the people forgot the great king who had gloriously reigned over
them for 37 years, and they came flocking to the standard of Absalom.
David in Flight
When the aged king heard of the sad tidings, his heart and spirit grew faint. King David, the
renowned warrior had no energy to resist or fight his own son. At once he prepared a flight with
his entire household, with all his servants, and with his devoted followers. He departed from his
palace and own beloved city Jerusalem.
The procession, mourning and weeping, passed over the brook Kidron and took the road that led
to the wilderness. Barefooted, King David, with his mantle drawn over his head, went through
the valleys and mountains, and in like manner all the people that went with him hid their
weeping faces.
Meanwhile, Absalom and his followers entered Jerusalem. In broad day light, Absalom slept
with his father‟s concubine on the roof top of the palace as everybody watched. At the same time
a plan was executed; King David‟s men and Absalom had a battle in the Forest of Ephraim.
It was a great and terrible battle. The host of Absalom was routed by the warriors of David.
Absalom himself fled in terror and dismay. As he was riding through the woods on his swift
mule, he was caught in the long locks of his hair under the spreading branches of a large
terebinth. Unable to disentangle himself, he remained suspended, for his mule had escaped. One
of David's servants brought this intelligence to Joab, who gave the order that Absalom be put to
death. Immediately Absalom was killed, the battle came to an end.
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The good tidings of the victory were marred by the news of Absalom's death. David bitterly
mourned over the death of his son and prayed for his soul.
As much as the battle was won and the king restored to his throne, David had gone through heart
breaking losses. He lost his two sons, not to mention the daughter who lived as a desolate
woman. Moreover, the mighty, renowned King David had to bear the mantle of shame as he ran
away from his son.
Reflection Questions
1. Where did trouble in King David’s start from?
2. What is one emotion that was buried under the ground but showed its ugly face
later?
3. Identify the consequences that followed King David, his household and empire out
of the way Tamar’s case was handled.
4. From your own opinion, what should have been done differently?
Application
1. Think about your own life (as an individual) and do a check to see if there is hurt
that has been buried; even from your early formative years.
2. Think about your own family; are there deep hidden hurts? Could there be secrets
that are eating from deep within?
3. Reflect about your church and congregations, and in your own assessment, is there
hurt that is smouldering (cooking) below the ground?
4. Are there symptoms of hurt that you can pinpoint at a personal level, family front
or church level?
5. What are you going to do with the personal hurt you may be carrying, family hurt
and the one at the church level?
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CHAPTER 2: WHEN THE MIGHTY TREMBLED WITH FEAR He prophesied and it came to pass. Elijah was known for the great miracles he did in the name of
God, Yahweh. Talk of declaring that there will be no rain for three years and it came to pass. He
knew the power of being hidden by God in a brook and God sending ravens to supply him with
bread and meat in the morning and in the evening.
And after the brook dried up Elijah again saw God take care of his personal needs as he was sent
to a widow in Zarephath. As he asked her for water, he also asked the lady to make for him a
morsel of bread using her only handful of flour and a little oil in a jar. As the lady obeyed, the
two witnessed the bin of flour and the jar of oil not drying up in the midst of persisting famine.
Besides, Elijah witnessed God using him to raise the dead after the widow‟s son died. But in the
midst of it all, King Ahab, was looking for Elijah who had supposedly brought the disaster to the
nation.
The climax of seeing God‟s power in and through him came in the third year of famine. One day
God told him, “Go and present yourself to Ahab, and I will send the rain on earth”. Indeed there
was a severe famine in Samaria, where the king lived. Little wonder that when King Ahab set his
eyes on Elijah, he said: “Is that you, O troubler of Israel?”
Boldly, Elijah rebuked the king reminding him that it was him and his father‟s house that had
brought all the trouble in Israel. And with that, Elijah told the king: “…send and gather all Israel
to me on Mount Carmel, the 450 prophets of Baal, and the 400 prophets of Asherah, who eat at
Jezebel‟s table.” And with that God‟s power was about to be witnessed in a mighty way.
And Elijah saw the king take his word seriously. King Ahab gathered all the children of Israel,
and gathered the prophets together on Mount Carmel. Moreover, when it was all quiet, before
the launch of the day‟s activity, Elijah declared: “How long will you falter between two
opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal follow him. …I alone I am left a prophet of
the Lord; but Baal‟s prophets are 450 men….”
And with that Elijah asked for two bulls. The Baal side choose one bull for themselves, cut it into
pieces and lay it on the wood. And Elijah was going to prepare the other bull, cut it in pieces and
lay it on the wood. There was a memorandum of understanding that none of the parties was
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going to light a fire. Instead, each was to call on their God, “and the God who answers by fire,
He is God!” With that agreement, the pact was sealed.
The Baal side went first and as soon as they prepared their bull and lay it on the wood, they
started calling on the name of Baal. They called on him from morning till noon. “O Baal, hear
us” they screamed and shouted as they went around the altar. It went on and on as the clock
ticked. But there was no voice. No one answered. Giving it a final push, they leaped about the
altar.
Elijah could not help but mock them, “cry aloud, for he is a god,” said Elijah,” either he is
meditating…or he is busy; or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is sleeping and must be
awakened.” And with that they cried out louder. They cut themselves with knives and spears, as
was their custom, until blood gushed out of them. And when midday passed they continued to
prophesy until the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice. But there was no voice. No one
answered. No one paid attention.
Elijah called people to him. He repaired the altar of the Lord which had been torn down. With
twelve stones he built an altar in the name of the Lord. He made a trench around the altar. After
he prepared the bull and put it in the altar, a lot of water was poured on the burnt sacrifice and
the wood. Twice, more water was poured on the altar.
Then Elijah opened his mouth and prayed, “Lord God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be
known this day that you are God in Israel and I am your servant, and I have done all these things
at your word. Hear me, O Lord, hear me, that this people may know that You are the Lord God,
and that You have turned their hearts back to You again.”
As soon as he called upon his God, Yahweh, the fire of the Lord fell and consumed the burnt
sacrifice. It licked up the water that was in the trench. The wood, stones and the dust were also
consumed. Upon seeing that, all the people fell on the faces in dismay. They said, “The Lord, He
is God! The Lord, He is God!”
Elijah issued a command and all the prophets of Baal were seized. None of them escaped. He
brought them down to the Brook of Kishon where all of them were executed.
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With a lot of confidence, Elijah told King Ahab, “Go up, eat and drink, for there is the sound of
abundance of rain”. Meanwhile Elijah went up to the top of Mount Carmel, he bowed down on
the ground as he put his face between his knees and told his servant to go up and look towards
the sea. The servant said that there was nothing.
And 7 times, Elijah asked him to go again and again. Worn out, at last, the servant eyes
brightened as he reported to Elijah: “there is a cloud, as small as a man‟s hand, rising out of the
sea”.
Knowing that faith is being sure of what you hope for, Elijah told his servant to go and tell King
Ahab, “Go up. Prepare your chariot, and go down before the rain stops you!‟
In the meantime the sky became black with clouds and there was a heavy rain. The dry grounds
soaked every drop of the rain that poured mightily. So Ahab rode away and went to Jezebel, his
wife.
Then the bold and courageous Elijah, victoriously facing all kinds of odds took off: “the hand of
the Lord was on Elijah, and he girded up his loins and outran Ahab to Jezebel.”
However, as soon as King Ahab reported to Jezebel about the ordeal of the day, she reacted with
vengeance and threatened Elijah‟s life. “So let god do to me, and more also, if I do not make
your life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time,” with her face folded, biting her
lower lip, as her whole body trembled with anger, Jezebel warned Elijah.
But the great, courageous Elijah, who had experienced God‟s supernatural strength to do the
extraordinary, was overcome by fear. He arose and took off and ran for his life.
He went to the desert, Beersheba, in the southernmost part of Judah. Leaving his servant, he
continued another day‟s journey further into the desert. He crawled under a scrubby tree. In deep
depression, he asked God to let him die. “It is enough! Now Lord, take my life, for I am no better
than my fathers!” Elijah conversed with his God. His focus and faith was shattered.
As he lay there paralyzed, suddenly an angel touched him and said, “Arise and eat”.
And there by his head was a cake baked on coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and lay
down again. The angel of the Lord came the second time, and touched him. Again gently said,
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“Arise and eat, because the journey is too great for you”. Elijah arose, and ate and drank. He
went in the strength of that food for forty days and forty nights as far as Horeb, the mountain of
God.
In the midst of fear God revealed to him again in a cave. Probing him gently, as if to give him an
opportunity to vent out, the Lord asked him, “what are you going here Elijah?” And Elijah was
quick to answer, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God of hosts; for the children of Israel
have forsaken your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I
alone I am left; and they seek to take my life.”
The Lord never rebuked Elijah but instead continued to reveal Himself to him. As Elijah stood
on the mountain before the Lord, a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the
rocks into pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind there was
an earthquake and afterwards fire, and after the fire a still small voice. And when Elijah heard it,
he wrapped his face in his mantle, went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a
voice came to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
And Elijah repeated the same story; pointing out how zealous he had been for God and how the
children of Israel had continuously forsaken God and how they had torn the altar and killed all
the prophets. He even repeated that he was the only one who had been left, “and they seek to
take my life.”
The Lord heard Elijah‟s deep cry, which was more of venting than a prayer. The Lord acted.
Hazael was anointed as king over Syria. Jehu, the son of Nimshi, was anointed as king over
Israel. And Elisha, the son of Shaphat of Abel Meholah, was anointed as a prophet to replace
Elijah.
The Lord also comforted Elijah by telling him that he had reserved 7,000 prophets in Israel who
had not bowed to Baal. He also informed Elijah that he had preserved their mouths from kissing
Baal.
Reflection Questions
1. What kind of a Prophet was Elijah before his experience with Jezebel?
2. When you think of the courageous and bold Elijah who had witnessed God’s power
in his life, what would be your comment about him running away from Jezebel be?
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3. Comment about the words Elijah used to describe the state he was in after he ran
way. What was Elijah going through?
4. James 5:17-18 says that Elijah was an ordinary man like us/was a man with a
nature like us. What does that mean to you?
5. How did God deal with Elijah after he ran awayt?
6. What key lessons about fear can you pick from Elijah’s life?
NB.
Elijah was well known to the Jews with almost superhero a status in their eyes. His exploits were
spectacular and remarkable, and he was a celebrated prophet. Then remember the unbelievable
fashion in which Elijah was carried up to heaven; in the fiery chariot (2 Kings 2). God gave him
incredible assignments and Elijah held a unique place in history.
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CHAPTER 3: WHEN THE SECOND IN COMMAND REFUSED TO GRIEVE
INSIDE HIS CLOSET He was the prime minister, second only to the king. The king recognized his authority and
wisdom. The whole of Egypt bowed down to him. The prisoner; the one who had been sold by
his brothers; the one who had served the king so well; but his good deeds led him to the deep
dungeon. But for three years when he was in the dungeon, he served faithfully. He even had the
gentility to notice when other prisoners were not faring well. He even prophesied about their
dismissal but no sooner had they stepped out of the dungeon, than they forgot all about him.
Joseph was his name. Indeed Joseph was no ordinary man.
His insight and knowledge through dreams landed him in trouble at an early age. He was only
17! Despite, having born in his father‟s old age, he was the father‟s favourite. When he was
around seventeen years, Joseph had a dream, which did not go well with his brothers, “we were
binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while
your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it,” Joseph had shared with them. “Do
you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?” And they hated him all the more because
of his dream and what he had said.
Before long Joseph had another dream and shared it with his brothers, “listen,” he said, “I had
another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.”
“Enough of your dreams,” shouted his brothers as they threw their hands at him. Even his father
rebuked him this time round. However, unlike the brothers who were jealous of him, the father
kept the thing in mind.
As usual while the brothers were out grazing they saw Joseph approaching; having been sent by
their father to take food to them. “How dare he say that he dreamt that we were bowing down to
him?” asked one of the brothers. “Leave that dreamer,” ….the other brother replied, “Just
because he is our father‟s favourite, he thinks he can rule over us”.
“Oh you guys” as his eyes brightened, the other brother shared “let‟s kill him!” They went back
and forth wandering the best way to finish him. Finally they put him in a cistern but just then the
Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for
twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelite‟s, who took him to Egypt.
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Having soaked his ornamented robe in the blood of a goat they had slaughtered, they took the
ornate robe back to their father and said, “we found this, examine it to see whether it is your
son‟s robe.”
“Oooh Joseph! It is my son‟s robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely
been torn to pieces.”
Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days. All his sons
and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said, “I will
continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave.” So his father wept for him.
Meanwhile Joseph was sold in Egypt to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh‟s officials, the captain of the
guard. And because the Lord was with Joseph he prospered in Potiphar‟s house. Being a
handsome, active and hardworking young man, the master‟s wife noticed him. Day in and day
out she wondered how to trick the young focused man. Finally she could not contain herself
anymore. “Today is the day…” with a smile on herself but full of determination, she told herself.
She could not wait for her husband to leave the house. She put the best makeup and dressed
sexily.
Around mid-day, when all the other servants were caught up with their chores, she called Joseph.
By then Joseph had noticed the mistress ways and her voice just irritated him. As he approached
her, he could not help but notice she was dressed scantly.
“Just come and sit here with me….there is no one else in the house today… you know Joe from
the moment you walked into this house….,” her seductive voice was crowded with determination
as she pulled Joseph. In a panicky mood, Joseph looked for a place to hide but it was too late. By
now the lady was holding him tight.
Joseph wondered what to do. “There is no time to waste,” he talked to himself. Without wasting
time, Joseph flew out. Potiphar‟s wife was left staring at Joseph‟s garment. She was annoyed.
She looked at the garment. She could not help but appreciate scent coming from Joseph‟s
garment. “How could I have missed that opportunity?” By now she was screaming so loud full of
rage. Before she calculated her next move, one of the other servants dashed in to check on her.
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She had to think very fast… “what am I thinking holding Joseph garment….”thoughts were
flashing through her mind.
“That bastard wanted to defile me….he ran out and forgot his garment! How could he,” she
shouted. She held her lower lip tight, “end of you Joseph…Potiphar cannot keep you anymore…
you tried to defile me”. And within a few seconds, the story had completely changed. The good
deed landed Joseph into a dungeon. Unlike other prisoners who were prisoned justly, Joseph‟s
integrity had put him into trouble.
The Dungeon Experience
But even in prison, Joseph found himself in a leadership position when his diligence and caring
spirit was clearly noticed. Before long, Joseph was joined by the butler of the King of Egypt and
his baker who had offended their lord, the King of Egypt. Through deeper revelation from God,
Joseph helped the two interpret disturbing dreams that each of them had. And as interpreted,
within three days, the chief baker‟s body was stabbed on a pole and the birds feasted on his flesh.
The position of the chief cupbearer was restored; however, he forgot about Joseph‟s kindness
and never mentioned him to the king.
However, after two years the king had a dream and it was then that the cup bearer remembered
the young Hebrew who had helped him.
From Dungeon to a Governor
At once the King sent for Joseph, who after being shaved and dressed up, appeared in front of the
king. As acknowledged by Joseph, God helped him to interpret the dream. Realizing that the
Spirit of God was upon Joseph, the King said, “You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my
people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you. I
hereby put you in charge of the whole land of Egypt.” The decree was issued. Joseph became the
governor of Egypt, second only to the king.
Joseph was dressed in royal attire. Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his finger and put it on
Joseph‟s finger. He dressed him in robes of fine linen. He put a GOLD chain around his neck.
Then the king had Joseph ride in a chariot as his second-in-command. Joseph was led through
the land, accompanied by a royal suite and messengers, who hailed the new governor and
proclaimed his authority. People shouted before him, “Make way!” Thus he put him in charge of
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the whole land of Egypt. The entire country paid homage to Joseph. He soon became very
popular among the people of Egypt.
The Governor‘s Vulnerable Point
As Joseph indicated, after seven years of abundance, a famine hit the land. There was a food safe
for Egypt where Joseph had stored up huge quantities of grain, like the sand of the sea. It was so
much that he stopped keeping records because it was beyond measure. In the course of the time,
Joseph was blessed by two sons. Joseph named the first one, Manasseh and said, “It is because
God has made me forget all my trouble and my entire father‟s household.” The second son he
named Ephraim and said, “It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering.”
Meanwhile the famine hit Joseph‟s family back at home. The father, Jacob, rebuked his sons for
being inactive in looking for a solution. With that he ordered them to go to Egypt to look for
grain “so that we may live and not die.”
So when Joseph‟s brothers arrived, they bowed down to him with their faces to the ground. As
soon as Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them. But he pretended to be a stranger and
spoke harshly to them. Describing them as spies, Joseph asked them to prove their innocence by
leaving one of the brothers behind until they make a return with their younger brother, Benjamin
(Benjamin and Joseph were from the same mother). As they were leaving, Joseph heard the
brother accuse each other arguing that they were being punished for having sold their brother.
Upon arriving home, the brothers reported to their father about their journey. “And the man in
charge of the land said he will not set his face upon us until we take our small brother along with
us,” Reuben, the firstborn told his brother. But the father was not going to hear of it.
With time the food got finished and the family was at the verge of dying because Jacob could not
release his son Benjamin. Realizing the eminent danger the family faced, Judah urged the father
to release the son. „I myself will guarantee his safety; you can hold me personally responsible for
him,” said Judah without really knowing what awaited him.
When Joseph set his eyes upon his brother, Benjamin, he ordered his servants to take his brothers
to his house and slaughter for them. With a lot of guilt eating them and unresolved issues from
the past following them, the brothers misread the good gesture. “He wants to attack us and
overpower us and seize us as slaves and take our donkeys,” they talked to each other trembling.
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When Joseph came home, they presented to him the gifts they had brought. They bowed down
before him to the ground. He asked them how they were, and then asked, “How is your aged
father you told me about? Is he still living?” Joseph engaged his brothers further asking about
Benjamin. But as he looked at Benjamin, his voice trembled.
Deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep. He
went into his private room and wept there. After lunch, his servants packed foodstuff for his
brothers and as ordered by Joseph they put silver in each man‟s sack but in Benjamin they put
Joseph‟s silver. In the morning, the men were sent on their way but no sooner as they had left,
Joseph‟s servants caught up with them accusing them of returning goodness with evil.
Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried, "Have
everyone go out from me." So there was no man with him when Joseph made himself known to
his brothers. He wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard
of it. Finally Joseph revealed himself to his brothers.
Later after the whole of Jacob‟s family moved, they were settled in a place called Goshen. With
time, as age caught up, Joseph‟s father Jacob died. Joseph “fell upon his father‟s face and wept
over him and kissed him.” Joseph was hurting inside at the death of his father.
Story 2: The King of the Universe Weeps He was a dear friend. Possibly they had the kind of relationship that David had with Jonathan.
We are told that Jesus loved Lazarus. When Jesus was in his ministry, he received a message that
Lazarus was sick. By the time he got through with his business and arrived in Bethany, Lazarus
was dead. But one astounding fact was that Jesus wept over his friend Lazarus who had died.
How can the King of the universe, who tells us that all things were made by Him, for Him and
through Him, weep?
Story 3: Jesus: The Garden of Gethsemane Experience Reflect on the following episode that Jesus experienced at the Garden of Gethsemane: (Matthew
26:36-46) Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them,
“Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along
with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is
overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” 39 Going a
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little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this
cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” 40 Then he returned to his disciples and
found them sleeping. “Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is
weak.” 42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup
to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” 43 When he came back, he again
found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once
more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. 45 Then he returned to the disciples and
said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour is near, and the Son of Man is
betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise let us go! Here comes my betrayer!
Reflective Questions
1. Pick the words that Jesus used to describe what he was feeling? (Also check Luke
22:39-46 and Mark 14: 32-42. Also check other versions of the Bible like NIV, King
James or New King James)
2. Who were the disciples that accompanied Jesus? From your own opinion, how come
Jesus took them with him at this critical point in His ministry?
3. What are your thoughts about Jesus expressing his feelings to Peter and the other two?
4. What phase was Jesus in when He, the Son of the Living God, said: “My Father, if it is
possible, let this cup pass from me…?”
5. What would you say about Jesus “being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his
sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground” (Luke 22: 39 – 46)
6. What is your opinion about an angel from heaven appearing and strengthening Jesus?
The King of Israel refuses to be comforted
Read 2nd Samuel 12: 15-22
1. Briefly describe the battles David had fought in his life and his success rate.
2. How do you reconcile the mighty King of Israel; the man after God’s heart, and
the way we see David crying for his son?
3. What facilitated David to move to a stage where he ate and drank after his son
had died?
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The Kings Cupbearer Mourns Over a Wall
Nehemiah: Walls of Jerusalem broken: sat down and wept; mourned, fasted and prayed. Later on
we see Nehemiah very angry and becomes physical and threatens to lay his hands on those who
disobey (Nehemiah 13:21).
i. But where is this anger coming from? Nehemiah is saddened by what he
sees.
Personal Application
1. How do you deal with sad news?
2. How does the society tend to deal with sad, heart breaking news?
3. There was a custom of putting sackcloth and ashes among the Jewish customs when
a loss was experienced; what was the significance of that act?
4. Why tears? What do they do? What is their significance? How come the society
seems to condemn tears or be afraid of tears?
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CHAPTER 4: DEALING WITH GUILT: A FEW DAYS TURN TO 21 YEARS OF
SERVICE His eyes could hardly see. They were dim. He was in his 137
th year and clearly he had every
reason to put his house in order. As a result, the elderly Isaac prepared to make his last will. That
was an act of importance, especially in the Jewish culture where it conveyed a prophetic spirit of
the patriarchal blessing.
Possibly, as the custom demanded he could not convey the will until some special meal was
prepared for him. So he called his older son, Esau and said:
“Behold now, I am old. I do not know the day of my death. Now therefore, please take
your weapons, your quiver and your bow, and go out to the field and hunt game for me.
And make me savoury food, such as I love, and bring it to me that I may eat, that my soul
may bless you before I die.”
As Isaac spoke gently to his son, his wife, Rebekah listened to everything that was said to Esau.
And as soon as Esau went to hunt, she called her favourite son, Jacob.
She was anxious to secure the invaluable blessing for her young son. Possibly she had an
intuition that God intended to confer the blessing to Jacob. “After all”, possibly she argued,
“Esau had sold his birth right to Jacob”. Whatever prompted her, Rebecca decided to take the
issue into her own hands; possibly fearful of leaving God to handle what He had the capacity to
superintend.
Hastily, Rebekah called and advised Jacob;
“Indeed I heard your father speak to Esau your brother, saying, „Bring me game and
make savoury food for me, that I may eat it and bless you in the presence of the Lord
before my death.‟ Now therefore, my son, obey my voice according to what I command
you. Go now to the flock and bring me from there two choice kids of the goats, and I will
make savoury food from them for your father, such as he loves. Then you shall take it to
your father that he may eat it, and that he may bless you before his death.”
Critical of the plan, Jacob questioned his mother, “Look, Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I
am a smooth-skinned man. Perhaps my father will feel me, and I shall seem to be a deceiver to
him. I shall bring a curse on myself and not a blessing.”
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“Let your curse be on me, my son; only obey my voice, and go, get them for me.” Riding on the
assurance of the mother, Jacob did as he was commanded. With that, the policy was practiced,
that the end would justify the means.
With the full knowledge of the spices that Isaac loved, Rebeca prepared the meal hurriedly which
was to be passed on to an almost blind old man with blunted senses, as game. Secondly, a goat‟s
skin was bound on Jacobs‟s hands and neck and its soft silken resembled Esau‟s hairy body.
Then Rebekah took the choice clothes of her elder son Esau, which were with her in the house,
and put them on Jacob. The long white robe--the garment of the first-born, which was normally
transmitted from father to son and kept in a chest among fragrant herbs and perfumed flowers,
was passed on to the second son. Rebecca knew that the three calculated moves would
successfully disguise Jacob to her husband, Isaac, with whom they had married in their late
teens.
The Snatched Blessing
“The voice is Jacob‟s, but the hands are the hands of Esau,” the confused elderly man said. .
Then he said, “Are you really my son Esau?”
He said, “I am.”
Then Isaac said, “Bring it near to me, and I will eat of my son‟s game, so that my soul may bless
you.” Jacob walked slowly trying to imitate Esau style of walking. The father received the meal,
and he ate. Consequently, he brought him wine, and the father drank.
Having been satisfied, Isaac asked his son to step close and he kissed him. Indeed, he smelled his
garments, and it was Esau smell. Being a field person in the Syrian fields and meadows, Esau‟s
clothes were often soaked in a strong fragrance noticed by many people.
After satisfactorily smelling the clothes and being certain it was Esau, Isaac held his son and
blessed him. He declared:
“Surely, the smell of my son. Is like the smell of a field
Which the Lord has blessed. Therefore may God give you
Of the dew of heaven, Of the fatness of the earth,
And plenty of grain and wine.
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Let peoples serve you, And nations bow down to you.
Be master over your brethren; And let your mother‟s sons bow down to you.
Cursed be everyone who curses you, and blessed be those who bless you!”
And with that Jacob received the highest flow of prosperity; indispensable to the fruitfulness of
lands, plenty of corn and wine. Palestine was famous for its vineyards, and it produced varieties
of corn, namely, wheat, barley, oats, and rye.
Hardly had Jacob walked out of his father‟s presence than the exhausted Esau dashed into the
house carrying his game. Quickly he prepared a savoury meal and brought to his father. But it
was too late.
“Who are you?‟ trying to open his eyes, Isaac asked.
“I am your son, your firstborn, Esau.”
Isaac trembled exceedingly. “Who?” he asked, “Where is the one who hunted game and brought
it to me? I ate all of it before you came. I have blessed him. Indeed he shall be blessed.”
Esau cried with an exceedingly great and bitter cry. And with tears rolling down his cheek, he
screamed, “Bless me—me also, O my father!”
“Your brother came with deceit and has taken away your blessing,” shaking his head, with his
heart torn apart, Isaac declared.
“Is he not rightly named Jacob? For he has supplanted me these two times. He took away my
birth right, and now look, he has taken away my blessing!” And he said, “Have you not reserved
a blessing for me?”
The emotions of Isaac, as well as Esau, were all crowded up. There was astonishment, alarm, and
sorrow of the one; the disappointment and indignation of the other.
Esau hated Jacob and vowed to revenge.
Jacob Runs for his life
It was clear that Esau planned to harm his brother. The mother grieved, “Why should I be
deprived of you both?” she asked Jacob. She began to reap the bitter fruits of her fraudulent
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device. Another pretext Rebekah's cunning had to devise was to obtain her husband's consent to
Jacob's journey to Mesopotamia. And she did succeed by touching the aged patriarch in a tender
point, afflicting to his pious heart--the proper marriage of their younger son.
And with that she quickly executed another plan for Jacob. Jacob had to leave his beloved home
for his uncle‟s place in Haran. However, the idea of staying there for a few days until his
brother‟s anger subsided was never to be. Upon arriving in Haran, he met Laban his uncle.
Immediately he fell in love with the daughter, Rachel, who was beautiful in form and appearance
and had a sister called Leah. As he started working for his uncle, Jacob was more than willing to
serve his uncle for seven years in order to get Rachel. His love for the girl made seven years
resemble the twinkling of an eye.
As the seven years came to an end, Jacob could hardly sleep. He just imagined how life was
going to be with the love of his life.
“Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in to her,” Jacob told the uncle after
his 7 years of service were over.
And a feast was organized. Laban gathered together all the men of the place and they celebrated.
In the evening, Laban took Leah his daughter and brought her to Jacob. He slept with her.
But Jacob‟s disappointment, hurt and anger could not be hidden in the morning when he realized
that he had been short changed. It was quite disappointing to realize that his service of 7 years
had gone down the drain.
“What is this you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel that I served you? Why then have you
deceived me?” he questioned his uncle.
“It must not be done so in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn. Give your
service for 7 more years and I will give you the love of your life,” with no apologies, walking
away, the uncle told Jacob.
Indeed, Jacob served his uncle for 7 more years. After the service, he received Rachel as wife
also. Then Jacob also went in to Rachel, and he also loved Rachel more than Leah. And he
served Laban still another seven years.
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In total Jacob served his uncle for 21 years. Indeed, what Rebecca had imagined was going to
take a few days, turned out to be years.
Further Reading:
Mathew 27.5: Judas Iscariot threw down the pieces of silver in the temple and departed and went
and hanged himself.
1 Samuel 11 and 12: Nathan Rebukes King David
Reflection Questions
1. What is one emotion that made Jacob to run away from home?
2. What consequences did Jacob go through in a foreign land?
3. Think about Rebecca, what did she have to go through out of the way she handled
the affairs of the family?
4. What emotion do you think made Judas Iscariot hang himself?
5. How did King David respond to the guilt he felt when Nathan rebuked him?
Personal Application
1. Think about your own life and see if there is any kind of guilt; whether false or true
that may be eating you from the inside.
2. Find out where it has come from.
3. Also evaluate your family to see if there is any kind of guilt simmering in the family.
4. What are you going to do with that guilt?