““Courtesies of a small Courtesies of a small and trivial character are and trivial character are

the ones which strike the ones which strike deepest in the grateful deepest in the grateful

and appreciating heart.”and appreciating heart.”

—Henry Clay

Hard Is Hard Is SoftSoft (Plans, (Plans, ##ss))

Soft Is Soft Is HardHard (people, (people, customers, values, customers, values,

relationships)relationships)

[An obsession with] Listening is ... the ultimate mark[An obsession with] Listening is ... the ultimate mark of of RespectRespect..Listening is ... the heart and soul of Listening is ... the heart and soul of EngagementEngagement..Listening is ... the heart and soul of Listening is ... the heart and soul of KindnessKindness..Listening is ... the heart and soul of Listening is ... the heart and soul of ThoughtfulnessThoughtfulness..Listening is ... the basis for true Listening is ... the basis for true Collaboration.Collaboration.Listening is ... the basis for true Listening is ... the basis for true PartnershipPartnership..Listening is ... a Listening is ... a Team SportTeam Sport..Listening is ... a Listening is ... a Developable Individual SkillDevelopable Individual Skill.* .* (*Though women (*Though women are are farfar better at it than men.) better at it than men.)

[cont.][cont.]

Listening is ... the engine of Listening is ... the engine of superior EXECUTION.superior EXECUTION.Listening is ... the key to Listening is ... the key to making the Sale.making the Sale.Listening is ... the key to Listening is ... the key to Keeping the Customer’s BusinessKeeping the Customer’s Business..Listening is ... Listening is ... Learning.Learning.Listening is ... the Listening is ... the sine qua non of Renewalsine qua non of Renewal..Listening is ... the Listening is ... the sine qua non of Creativitysine qua non of Creativity..Listening is ... the Listening is ... the sine qua non of Innovationsine qua non of Innovation..Listening is ... Listening is ... Source #1 of “Value-added.”Source #1 of “Value-added.”Listening is ... Listening is ... Differentiator #1.Differentiator #1.Listening is ... Listening is ... Profitable.*Profitable.* (*The “R.O.I.” from listening is higher than(*The “R.O.I.” from listening is higher than from any other single activity.)from any other single activity.)

Listening is … the bedrock which underpins a Listening is … the bedrock which underpins a Commitment toCommitment to EXCELLENCEEXCELLENCE

*Listening is of the*Listening is of the

utmost … utmost … strategic importance! importance!

*Listening is a proper … *Listening is a proper …

core value ! !

*Listening is … *Listening is … trainable !!

*Listening is a … *Listening is a … profession ! !

Listen!Listen!• • Listening Leaders: The Ten Golden Rules ToListening Leaders: The Ten Golden Rules To Listen, Lead & Succeed—Listen, Lead & Succeed—Lyman Steil andLyman Steil and Richard BommeljeRichard Bommelje• • The Zen of Listening—The Zen of Listening—Rebecca ShafirRebecca Shafir• • Effective Listening Skills—Effective Listening Skills—Dennis Kratz andDennis Kratz and Abby Robinson KratzAbby Robinson Kratz• • Are You Really Listening?—Are You Really Listening?—Paul Donoghue andPaul Donoghue and Mary SiegelMary Siegel• • Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to ListenActive Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead—and Lead—Michael HoppeMichael Hoppe• • Listening: The Forgotten SkillListening: The Forgotten Skill — —Madelyn Burley-AllenMadelyn Burley-Allen

““You can make more You can make more friends in two months friends in two months bbyy becominbecomingg interested in interested in

other other ppeoeopple thanle than you can you can in two years by trying to in two years by trying to

get other people get other people interested in you.”interested in you.” —Dale

Carnegie

Another [key] byproduct of listening-engaging. Another [key] byproduct of listening-engaging.

Listening. The key to/cornerstone of every relationship. Superior Listening. The key to/cornerstone of every relationship. Superior relationships … the key to, literally, everything! relationships … the key to, literally, everything!

““Allied commands depend Allied commands depend on mutual confidence on mutual confidence [and this confidence] [and this confidence] is gained, above all is gained, above all

through the through the develodeveloppmentment ofof friendshifriendshippss.”.”

——General D.D. Eisenhower, General D.D. Eisenhower, Armchair GeneralArmchair General* (05.08)* (05.08)

*“Perhaps his most outstanding ability [at West Point]*“Perhaps his most outstanding ability [at West Point] was the ease with which he was the ease with which he made friends and earned the made friends and earned the

trusttrust of fellow cadets who came from widely varied of fellow cadets who came from widely varied backgrounds; it was a quality that would pay greatbackgrounds; it was a quality that would pay great

dividends during his future coalition commanddividends during his future coalition command

Listening In effect, Eisenhower’s principal “weapon” as coalition Listening In effect, Eisenhower’s principal “weapon” as coalition leader. leader.

R.O.I.RR.O.I.R..

RReturn eturn OOn n

IInvestment In nvestment In

RRelationshipselationships

The idea here is to think directly about your “investment” in The idea here is to think directly about your “investment” in relationship building and maintenance. relationship building and maintenance.

Listening’s corollary: the Art & Practice of Asking. Listening’s corollary: the Art & Practice of Asking.

Listen! Ask!Listen! Ask!

• • Listening Leaders: The Ten Golden Rules To Listen, Lead & SucceedListening Leaders: The Ten Golden Rules To Listen, Lead & Succeed — —Lyman Steil and Richard BommeljeLyman Steil and Richard Bommelje• • The Zen of Listening—The Zen of Listening—Rebecca ShafirRebecca Shafir• • Effective Listening Skills—Effective Listening Skills—Dennis Kratz and Abby Robinson KratzDennis Kratz and Abby Robinson Kratz• • Are You Really Listening?—Are You Really Listening?—Paul Donoghue and Mary SiegelPaul Donoghue and Mary Siegel• • Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and LeadActive Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead — —Michael HoppeMichael Hoppe• • Listening: The Forgotten Skill—Listening: The Forgotten Skill—Madelyn Burley-AllenMadelyn Burley-Allen

• • Leading with Questions: How Leaders Find the Right Solutions byLeading with Questions: How Leaders Find the Right Solutions by Knowing What to Ask—Knowing What to Ask—Michael MarquardtMichael Marquardt• • Smart Questions: Learn to Ask the Right Questions for PowerfulSmart Questions: Learn to Ask the Right Questions for Powerful Results—Results—Gerald Nadler and William ChandonGerald Nadler and William Chandon• • The Art of Asking: Ask Better Questions, Get Better AnswersThe Art of Asking: Ask Better Questions, Get Better Answers — —Terry FademTerry Fadem• • How to Ask Great Questions—How to Ask Great Questions—Karen Lee-ThorpKaren Lee-Thorp• • Change Your Questions, Change Your Life—Change Your Questions, Change Your Life—Marilee AdamsMarilee Adams• • Asking the RightAsking the Right Questions: A Guide to Critical Thinking— Questions: A Guide to Critical Thinking—Neil Browne andNeil Browne and Stuart KeeleyStuart Keeley

““Thank you” lingers on:Thank you” lingers on:

1010 years years

3M exec retires. At going away party, someone comes up to him, 3M exec retires. At going away party, someone comes up to him, very emotional, to thank the exec for a thank you note he’d sent 10 very emotional, to thank the exec for a thank you note he’d sent 10 years ago. (I’ve got a ton of similar stories.)years ago. (I’ve got a ton of similar stories.)

*appreciation is of the*appreciation is of the

utmost … utmost … strategicstrategic importance! importance!

*appreciation is a proper … *appreciation is a proper …

core core valuevalue ! !

*appreciation is … *appreciation is … trainabletrainable !!

*appreciation is a … *appreciation is a … professionprofession ! !

nonenone!!

Press Ganey AssocPress Ganey Assoc:: 139,380139,380 former former patients from patients from 225225 hospitals: hospitals:

nonenone of THE top 15 factors of THE top 15 factors

determining determining PPatient atient SSatisfaction atisfaction referred to the patient’s health referred to the patient’s health outcomeoutcome

P.S.P.S. directldirectly related to y related to StaffStaff InteractionInteraction

P.S.P.S. directldirectly correlated with y correlated with EmploEmployyee ee SatisfactionSatisfaction

Source: Source: Putting Patients FirstPutting Patients First, Susan Frampton, Laura Gilpin, Patrick Charmel, Susan Frampton, Laura Gilpin, Patrick Charmel

Stunning. Stunning.

Patient satisfaction is almost exclusively related to the Patient satisfaction is almost exclusively related to the quality of interactions with hospital staff—which in turn quality of interactions with hospital staff—which in turn is primarily caused by the quality of staffers’ interactions is primarily caused by the quality of staffers’ interactions with one another. with one another.

““There is a misconception that supportive interactions require There is a misconception that supportive interactions require more staff or more time and are therefore more costly. Although more staff or more time and are therefore more costly. Although

labor costs are a substantial part of any hospital budget, the labor costs are a substantial part of any hospital budget, the interactions themselves add nothing to the budget. interactions themselves add nothing to the budget.

Kindness is Kindness is freefree.. Listening to patients or answering their Listening to patients or answering their

questions costs nothing. questions costs nothing. It can be argued that negative It can be argued that negative interactions—alienating patients, being non-responsive to their interactions—alienating patients, being non-responsive to their needs or limiting their sense of control—can be very costly. … needs or limiting their sense of control—can be very costly. …

Angry, frustrated or frightened patients may be combative, Angry, frustrated or frightened patients may be combative, withdrawn and less cooperative—requiring far more time withdrawn and less cooperative—requiring far more time than it would have taken to interact with them initially in a than it would have taken to interact with them initially in a

positive waypositive way.”.” ——Putting Patients FirstPutting Patients First, Susan Frampton, , Susan Frampton, Laura Gilpin, Patrick CharmelLaura Gilpin, Patrick Charmel

The “Eight Courtesies”The “Eight Courtesies”

1. Stay in touch. 1. Stay in touch. 2. Invest in relationships. 2. Invest in relationships. (Make friends. (Make friends. Obsess.)Obsess.)

3. Listen. 3. Listen. (Respect. Learn. Student. PROFESSIONAL.(Respect. Learn. Student. PROFESSIONAL. Sustainable Competitive Advantage #1Sustainable Competitive Advantage #1))

4. Ask 4. Ask (Engage. Inspire. Consult. React.)(Engage. Inspire. Consult. React.)

5. Thank 5. Thank (Appreciate. Acknowledge.)(Appreciate. Acknowledge.)

6. Network. 6. Network. 7. Apologize 7. Apologize (Unequivocal. Rectify. Over-react.(Unequivocal. Rectify. Over-react. Forgive. ) Forgive. )

8. Practice thoughtfulness. 8. Practice thoughtfulness. (Kindness is free.(Kindness is free. This is … STRATEGIC.)This is … STRATEGIC.)