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Happy New Years from The Grand Ayatollah Drewcifer Drewmani Drew Kazinsky

 A QUICK WORD ABOUT NOISE, GUNS, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE AND THE INSIDIOUS BRAIN

DAMAGE I EVIDENTLY SUFFER FROM DUE TO A FRACTURED SKULL AS A CHILD.

The first words of a New Year......

Happy New Years from West Side Stockton, a city located in the upper part of California's

Central Valley. Gunshots slice through the midnight air, competing with the sound of both

Police and Paramedic sirens that echo through-out the entire city. Behind my house, on

Brookside Road, folks burn the rubber of their tires as they navigate the sharp turns of the

street and there is so much smoke in the air, these drivers never notice the cross of the

dead motorcycle rider who wrecked a few months ago. Brookside Road is a murderous

road, supposedly built above Miwok Indian burial grounds and the road has almost taken

me a few times. While I sincerely hope no-one smashes into the wall tonight, it would notsurprise me and I'm sure you think I'm callous when I say that I hope they do not smash

into my section of the wall. Maybe the drivers will be driving normal and crash due to

blindness caused by the morons lighting off fireworks on the levee behind my house. I

know I sound like an old man and a hater but I really hate these asshole who light off 

fireworks all the time. I would not care if it was once or twice a year but it is year around,

culminating on New Years Eve. I really would not care if the damn noise did not frighten

my dgs so much. They are old now and I fear heart attacks........

The city is crazy tonight, as it is everywhere every New Years Eve and that is why I try to

be mellow every year. I had to work this evening but I still was off early enough to go out

but alas, my mother is sick and bedridden. I know she would not care if I left but I am

worried about her and besides, the dogs are really not liking all the booms and bangs. I've

been sick as well so I decided to take it easy tonight. Shortly after Midnight I stepped

outside to look for my black cat and in the span of ten minutes I counted five different

hand-guns sf full shooting off full magazines, a couple of shotguns and vaious other loud

noises. Shortly after the first roud of gun shots, accompanied by screeching tires, the sirens

began. I can only hope it was a coincidentally different New Years revelers not connected.

However, this is the City of Stockton, where anything can happen to anyone just about

anywhere. So I reiterate, unless it is a special cause, I keep my ass indoors on New Years.

Nothing has changed when the clock struck midnight except that the horrible year of 2011

is over and the start of what I suspect to be an even worse year is beginning. I know this

past year has been good to some people I truly love and care about, folks who have gotten

married and other folks who have had babies or are going to have babies and to all the

other good stuff I have forgotten, the year has not treated me right. I know a lot of it is my

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attitude and my lack of positivity but I'm trying to kill the negativity, thus these weird

ramblings of an ill-tempered addict. I'm sick and tired of illness; it seems to have

surrounded me my whole life and affects not only me but everyone close to me. My life

sucks because I cannot control my stress. I worry too much about my screwed up life, my

sickly mother who can die from a simple cold and I stress about how I used to make good

money cleaning carpets, yet I now work for $8.50 an hour at a book-store. That is the only

work I can find in this jerk chicken ass town I was born and raised in.

While I am not the best son and have not done anything good with all the opportunities I

have had in my life, my wonderful mother has always supported me and truly loved me. My

father chose prescription narcotics instead of me, his only son, and his death from an

overdose proves that while he may have loved me, that love was not strong enough to save

him. I know my mother loves me and I am a horrible son in that I am not able to take care

her the way she deserves. The women has been mistreated her whole life, with only a few

bright spots along the way and I wish she did not have to worry all the time. On daySaturday mail will kill her. I sincerely hope I figure out what I'm doing in life because I do

not want to be a loser forever. I half-way wish the world does end next December

according to the Mayan prophecy only because my life is worthless. Then I think that is

horrible of me because of all my friends that have new families with children I love. I will

never have children so I cherish my close friend's kids and would do anything to help them.

I realize that it's not the World that should be destroyed, it is myself who should leave the

world since I exist in negativity.

There are some things from which you cannot escape and regardless of the consequences,

the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Twelve will be a year of Truth. Complete and total

honesty. To not only myself but to every person I know and I fear I will lose some friends

but for the sake of my immortal Soul, I must forge a new path. The first step is looking

inside, regardless of the Fear and figure out the truth of myself so that I can grow into a

better person. If I do not do this, I will continue to not care about living..........

Please have a great and prosperous year and I hope everyone made it home safely

tonight........

Happy New Years 2012

 Andrew N. Farrens

January 1, 2012

1:17 A.M.

West Stockton, Ca

westies 209