hacking the human interface
TRANSCRIPT
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Hacking the Human InterfaceSamantha Quiñones
Laracon US August, 2015
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Samantha Quiñones
(human)
@ieatkillerbees
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I am not an expert.
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Specifically, I am not...
> a psychologist
> a therapist
> a philosopher
> a sociologist
> an anthropologist
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I am human.
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I want to help.
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Fair Warning: I will talk about some
uncomfortable stuff. I’m sorry.
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I was an insufferable ass.
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“Dog Walker” © by Anthony Arrigo licensed under (CC BY 2.0)
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© 2007 Leetcan, CC BY 2.0
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Hacking The Human Interface
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Key Topics
> Leadership
> Empathy
> Listening
> Conflict
> Identity
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People Are Individually Complex
> Biases
> Identities
> Experiences
> Philosophies
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Human Interaction
> Complex web of relationships, defined by our makeup
> Constant negotiation of hierarchy and ideas
> Shifting power structures based on authority
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Sources of Authority
> Bureaucratic authority (managers, political leaders)
> Traditional (cultural) authority
> Charismatic authority
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An individual’s authority within a community lies at the
intersection of these attributes.
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Leadership
> Good leaders have earned charismatic authority.
> Requires a willingness to take others where they need to be.
> Leaders are not always people with traditional or bureaucratic authority.
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–Ken Kesey
“You don’t lead by pointing and telling people some place to go. You lead by going to that place and
making a case.”
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Leadership is a means to authority, not an end of
authority.
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> Leaders think before they act.
> Leaders take responsibility for their actions.
> Leaders work tirelessly for the success of others.
> Leaders work tirelessly to understand others.
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Empathy: The Key to Understanding
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Four Attributes of Empathy (According to Theresa Wiseman)
> The ability to take another person’s perspective.
> The ability to understand another person’s feelings.
> The ability to communicate that understanding.
> The ability to do the above without passing judgment.
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–Brené Brown
“Empathy fuels connection. Sympathy drives disconnection.”
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Sympathy is . . .
> a choice to dismiss another person’s pain
> solving rather than listening
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Empathy is . . .
> a skill, which can be learned and improved
> a choice to share another person’s pain
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Empathy is the choice to be vulnerable for each other.
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To be vulnerable is to replace fear with trust.
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That even if you are . . .
> judged
> rejected
> ridiculed
> ignored
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You will survive.
You will learn who really matters.
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We hide many of our worst problems.
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We are taught . . .
> to fear sharing our hardships
> that emotions are inappropriate
> that real men don’t cry
> that women who cry won’t be taken seriously
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1 in 5 American adults are suffering with a mental illness.
NIMH
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At least 1 in 6 American women &
At least 1 in 33 American men have been the victim of sexual assault
Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network
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2-5% of American students have a learning disability.
WETA
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Up to 65% of inmates meet the DSM criteria for
substance abuse & addiction.
CASA
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Empathy is Vital
> It’s hard to hate someone whose story you know.
> Expressing vulnerability builds trust.
> Personal connections overcome grouping & labels
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Empathy Emphasizes the Why
> Sarah blew up at Abby. Why?
> Frank work quality is plummeting. Why?
> Samantha is chronically late. Why?
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© Disney*ABC Domestic Television. All rights reserved.
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Our Brains Love Patterns
> We hear voices in static
> We see faces in cement
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Instead of Listening. . .
> We speculate about our partner’s agenda
> We try to remember that amazing article that refutes our partner’s argument
> We think about about our own problems
> We think about that time (times?) that our partner was a jerk
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Slow Down Ignore That Voice Inside You
(it’s an a**hole)
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© Ben Gray, CC-BY-SA 2.0
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Ask Questions (it’s OK)
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Questions
> Is my understanding correct?
> Would you like my advice?
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Proceed When. . .
> You understand the topic your partner is trying to address.
> You understand your partner’s key points.
> You understand what your partner expects from the interaction.
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Don’t Split Your Attention
> I’m sorry, I can’t talk right now. Can I call you at 2?
> I can talk, but let me quickly finish this one thing.
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Listening
> It’s OK to suck.
> Never be afraid of asking questions.
> Reschedule when you don’t have time (but always honor your commitments)
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Expressing Anger
> Passive Aggression
> Aggressive Aggression
> Manipulation
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© Paul Downey, CC BY 2.0
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Photo by Josh Plueger USAF, public domain
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Photo © Carsten ten Brink, licensed under (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)
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Productive Arguments
> Have a topic and a goal
> Allow all interested parties equal time to make a case
> Have a neutral referee
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Stick to your main points. Explain your reasoning.
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Be attentive. Listen to comprehend.
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Don’t let it be personal. You are not your ideas.
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Focus on the end, not the means.
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It’s not about winning or losing.
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I don’t mean to be prescriptive. What’s important? Building Trust.
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Boricua
Ashkenazi Jew
Woman Feminist
Queer
Latina
Me
#nomakeup
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Identity
> Complex
> Composite
> Personal
> Fluid
> Performative
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Diversity is about identity.
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Shared Identity is Comfortable
> Same gender
> Same philosophy
> Same culture
> Same language
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Diversity is uncomfortable
> People of other (sometimes non-binary) genders.
> Differing culture.
> Differing language.
> Differing philosophy.
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Diversity is powerful.
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Diversity of Education
> Teams with mixed educational backgrounds have a broader base of knowledge to rely on.
> Self-taught individuals often have unique perspectives.
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Diversity of Work History
> Former security engineers understand vulnerabilities.
> Former financial services workers understand audits/PCI/FISMA
> Former medical IT workers understand privacy/HIPPA
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Diversity of Language & Culture
> Native fluency in more customers’ native language means better communication.
> Forces better internationalization and string handling.
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Diversity of Gender & Sexual Identity
> Different perspectives & acculturation.
> Welcoming environment that attracts more talent.
> Broader understanding of the needs of customers.
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It all comes back to empathy.
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Empathy is the key to the puzzle of human behavior.
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Empathy lets us . . .
> Understand that our political “enemies” are often operating in good faith.
> Recognize when people are in crisis.
> See that much of the anger and violence in the world from from a painful place.
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Empathy binds us to one another.
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Empathy is a choice to . . .
> Accept, not judge
> Share a burden, not comment on it
> Assume the best, not the worst
> See a person, not a problem
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Empathy is the choice to help.
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We can all do more to help each other.
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Important Resources
> Open Sourcing Mental Illness - http://funkatron.com/osmi.html
> Prompt - http://mhprompt.org/
> Mental Health First Aid - http://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/
> Brené Brown on Empathy - http://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw
> Contact Me - http://www.samanthaquinones.com OR @ieatkillerbees