habits: form new ones and break the bad ones

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Habits: Form New Ones and Break the Bad Ones. sakhisanga@gmail.com , sakhisanga.blogspot.com, Facebook.com/ Sakhisanga. Habits : Your Behavior. Habits : Your Daily R outine. A learned behavioral response that has become associated with a particular situation, esp one frequently repeated. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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Habits: Form New Ones and Break the Bad Ones

Habits: Form New Ones and Break the Bad Onessakhisanga@gmail.com, sakhisanga.blogspot.com, Facebook.com/Sakhisanga

Habits : Your Behavior

Habits : Your Daily Routine

Event

A learned behavioral response that has become associated with a particular situation, esp one frequently repeated

State of Mind and Being- Your belief System, your Internal Thermostat!Example: Boy from poor family in Mayapur gurukul, excellent brahmacari , gains full knowledge of the shastras but because his internal thermostat is set to we need money , after all the training he can only think about how to make money

Make a dog sit on the throne, sees a mouse will try to catch it

King edward kleptomaniac

All people with small eyes are evil.5

State of Mind and Being- Your belief System, your Internal Thermostat!

E.G Boy from Poor family, Dog on the throneExample: Boy from poor family in Mayapur gurukul, excellent brahmacari , gains full knowledge of the shastras but because his internal thermostat is set to we need money , after all the training he can only think about how to make money

Make a dog sit on the throne, sees a mouse will try to catch it

King edward kleptomaniac

All people with small eyes are evil.6

State of being dependent on something

Having No Habits Is Also A Habit!! Stephen Covey once wrote, Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.How are habits formed?Association and Contemplation Upbringing People, Friends, Culture, Media, Sights and Sounds, Conceptions Bhagavad Gita References: 2.62-63, 15.7-9 How are habits formed?Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition RewardRepetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Repetition Reward Bhagavad Gita: 3.36-37

How are habits formed?Bhagavad Gita: 3.36-37

How are habits formed?Our response to how people deal with us in life becomes a habitWhat is our Reward?RepetitionRewardI slap/ yell back/ screamI feel powerful, authoritative and in controlI dont do something I have been told to doBy not doing that I got a chance to do something more interesting for myself.ORI feel I was able to get back to my present or past authority.Chewing my nails when I am stressedI feel relaxedSmoking, Drinking or Doing drugsI can drown out the pain from life, I feel I am on a highShoppingI feel my purchases have enhanced my lifeOR have helped me satisfy my lacking in the heart OR will help me project that I am richI procrastinateI dont have to feel the boredom and pressure of doing the work till laterI hate and criticizeI feel better about myself . I also dont have to get close to peopleI blame someone else for the situationI do not have to own my part. I do not fall in trouble. People do not think badly about meWe discover that these habits limit our creativity, render us ineffective, or cause us to suffer and block us from developing a relationship with Krsna.

Soul identifies with this identity

Habits =Blueprint= Comfort Zone=Attachment=Fears=Patterns= Conditioning=Memes=IdentityBhagavad Gita Reference: Chapter 16

Habits =Blueprint= Comfort Zone=Attachment=Fears=Patterns= Conditioning=Memes=Identity

Gopi bhartur pada kamalayor dasa dasa das anu dasa- I am eternal soul, servant of Krsna and His devotees.False Self!Real Self!Bhagavad Gita References: Chapter 16Trying to be sacidananda through the false self leads to frustration!Are we just like the mice trapped in a Digital Skinner box or is there a way out?Bhagavad Gita :7.14

Exercise!!Step 1Write down the bad habit you are trying to quit. Start Simple. Choose Just One!!Step 2Remember the last time you found yourself doing it. Observe your behavior objectively, almost as an outsider might see you.A habit is only a habit until you can observe it. And then its a choice..activities of the mindthinking, feeling and willingare expressed through our senses. And these sensual activities are known as our living condition. Srila Prabhupada Lecture, New York, April 15, 1966Modern Psychologists differ on what comes first Thinking or Feeling?While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from lust anger arises.From anger, complete delusion arises, and from delusion bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and when intelligence is lost one falls down again into the material pool.Bhagavad Gita Ref:2.58-2.64 Emphasize how everything begins with that thought- a desire, a belief system which sit on top of desires and is our conditioning owing to various impressions in various lifetimes.19The gap between stimulus and response is very small but a lot happens in between Step 2:Note the details in black in your observationEvent TriggerResultingBehavior(Habit)(energy,tension, tightness, warmth, numbnessanger, anxiety, joy, excitement

Observable as language (stories, interpretation,justification, etc.)Reward!Trigger: something happens around us that we sense, and that evokes a response. Somatic response: how our body automatically responds to this sensory input. Thisis the biological organism responding, and is observable as sensation (energy,tension, tightness, warmth, numbness, etc.) Generally, this is the first element of aconstellation of linked responses. Emotional response: the feelings that arise, based on our deep history. Observable asemotions (anger, anxiety, joy, excitement, etc.) This follows the somatic response. Mental response: the mental formations that provide meaning for our experience,and rationale for our response. Observable as language (stories, interpretation,justification, etc.) Because this is the highest order of response, it generally followsthe first two, although the entire constellation can arise in less than a second. Resulting behavior: the behavior that flows out of the constellation of phenomenathat arises. Observable as acts (movement, speech acts, etc.)21BG 14.11The manifestation of the mode of goodness can be experienced when all the gates of the body are illuminated by knowledge.

How can we cultivate the mode of goodness?Internal pause button. Our internal pause button halts our psychophysical device our body and mind in mid-action.How can we develop such an internal pause button?By designing for ourselves a custom-made response to sensitive and provocative situations.This custom-made response may incorporate any or many of the following:Taking deep breaths,Recalling an insightful wisdom passageReciting an inspiring scriptural verseChanting an empowering divine mantra.Offering a universal or personal contextual prayer22

How can we develop such an internal pause button?Through constant practice and detachment(Bhagavad Gita verses 6.34-6.35)Hindsight:We use 20/20 hindsight to reflect at the end of our day using the exercise in the prev page. We remember that we actually did engage in something we did not want to earlier in the day. We jot down notes about our experience, and become curious . (Hey! Maybe I really do interrupt!)

Hindsight, closer in time: After several days, we become increasingly attuned to the behavior. We begin to notice it sooner. (Oops! I just interrupted Anita!) Still hindsight, but closer in time.

In the moment observation: Soon, the internal observer, which weve been cultivating, begins to notice what were doing as we do it. (Im interrupting Sheela right now!) Because the bulk of our awareness is wrapped up in the critically important thing were interrupting Sheela to say, we finish saying it anyway, but awareness is dawning.

Before the moment observation , followed by alternate action:We begin to notice our impulse before the behavior. (I feel my energy increasing and my back straightening. I feel impatient. I know what we should do. Im about to interrupt Anita. No, this time, Im going to hear him out instead. Slow down, relax, breathe, listen.) Now, we are changing our behavior. But it happened simply, easily, almost by itself.

23

Do I feel uncomfortable about accepting certain parts about myself?

Self Acceptance is being and neutral and compassionate. I am tiny and imperfect, yet lovable. Krsna loves me unconditionally- I will make the change because I wish to reciprocate with His love

I did it because she triggered me. Its not my faultHow could I do something so stupid?Hmm. That was not very nice of me to respond like that. I really hurt her. She must have felt terrible I lovingly accept myself with my imperfect parts. I dont have to convince myself or others that I was perfect in responding in the wrong way. I care for myself .Step 3:Self AcceptanceDont beat yourself upDont cover for yourselfBe neutral and compassionate!!I am tiny, imperfect(4 defects) and lovableI deeply care for myself, my relationship with KrishnaKrsna is loving , He accepts us completely with all our faultsCompassionate to my own myself- accepting myself in that situation then from the platform I can bring about some change.E.g. If we hurt someone but they still love us , then we are inspired to make a change so we do not hurt them again . E.g parents love their child anyway- so the child feels the impetus to change.Self-respect(respect for the real self) leads us to work on improving in the appropriate places.

Am I comfortable with myself bei

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