But the reason for going to Chiang Mai was for the golf and so our first stop was Royal Chiang Mai. The course like many in CM has recently in-creased their fees dramatically but in this case the condition didn’t justify it. Lovely layout that it is we have come to expect bet-ter from our Thai courses espe-cially having just come from San-tiburi. But Ian Harris’ team won the day with Traff, Mary Smit and Annie Fern. So we returned to the Hotel to prepare ourselves for the Black & Red themed New Year’s Eve party.

Greencarders once again ex-celled themselves with their dress sense and after a delightful cocktail on the lawn we settled down for dinner and the cultural show. Pretty though it was it lacked the professionalism of the Dusit and the DJ was dire. How-ever the food was excellent and at 11.30 we all went on the roof of the spa to send off our Chi-nese lanterns. We each lit the flame beneath the rice paper balloons and held them aloft until there was sufficient heat to let it rise gently into the skies where they joined literally tens of thousands of others from across the city. The sight was breathtak-ing with so many floating candles filling the sky it almost looked

We’ve had five wonderful years at the Dusit Thani Hua Hin for the New Year Party but the regulars said they wanted a change. We looked at the map of the world but whichever way you turn it round Thailand always looks best for weather and golf in January. So we put together a tour that included a week in the North at Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai and a week in the South at Phuket.

The regulars however decided to do other things and so a small but eclectic group arrived in the Meridien in Chiang Rai on 27th December for what proved to be a wonderful tour. After a long flight you just want to collapse into a nice comfortable bed and enjoy good service. The Meridien provided exactly what we wanted. After a day of jet lag recovery we went over to one of my favourite courses in Thailand.

Santiburi is owned by the Singha Beer family and once you get past the “My Country, My Beer” advertising you find yourself in a beautiful garden. This Trent Jones layout has been beautifully maintained over the years and every hole is true gem. On a Saturday morning in High Season

we had the course to ourselves all for £40 inc caddy.

Melvyn Fern led his team to vic-tory in the Am Am ably assisted by Simon Klimcke, Sharon Fell and Julie Harris. The evenings were spent going round the night market and eating in the many restaurants along the river. It was a wonderful peaceful envi-ronment which we should visit more often.

But it was time to move on and so with me at the wheel of the minivan and Traff in command of the Pick Up we set off for Chiang Mai. It was a beautiful drive over the mountains, through the cof-fee plantations and then down into the river valley of Chiang Mai. It’s easy to see why so many foreigners have built houses up in the cool north of the country. The Chedi wel-comed us as usual with cool tow-els and cool service. It is one of those hotels that divides opinion. Its Feng Shui style blends in per-fectly with its riverfront location and we were to be here for four nights inc the New Year Party. Just step out of the hotel and you are right in the night market and so its location is perfect.

RUSSELL SMIT FELLED AT THE LAST

C o n t e n t s

New Year Cont 2

Angkor What? 3

Saigon, Saigon 4

All Quiet in the Western Cape

6

From Here to Eternity

7

I Was Robbed! 8

Grand Finals Quinta do Lago

8

G r e e n c a r d G o l f H o l i d a y s 3 P a g e s Y a r d , C h u r c h S t r e e t , L o n d o n W 4 2 P A T e l : 0 1 2 4 9 8 2 1 5 0 9 Golfer

M a r c h 2 0 1 3 V o l u m e 4 , I s s u e 1

In Th is Issue

Thai New Year

Cambodia

South Vietnam

South Africa

What’s Happen-

ing in the Rest

of 2013

Looking for-

ward to 2014

“The Grand

Finals”

The

Thailand New Year Results

Russell Smit with Anne Fern, Martin Fell & Melvyn Fern at Blue Canyon

1 FELL MARTIN 33 29 33 33 128 2 SMIT RUSSELL 36 27 37 26 126 3 FERN MELVYN 32 36 26 28 122 4 TRAFFORD ANTHONY 32 32 31 25 120 5 FERN ANNE 30 31 30 23 114 6 GOLDSTEIN STELLA 34 29 26 23 112 7 HARRIS JULIE 31 27 25 26 109 8 HARRIS IAN 21 36 27 23 107 9 FELL SHARON 35 27 25 17 104

10 KLIMCKE SANDIE 33 24 20 25 102 11 KLIMCKE SIMON 26 25 25 24 100 12 GOLDSTEIN HUGH 23 26 25 25 99 13 BERNARD HELEN 31 18 19 22 90 14 SMIT MARY 19 22 26 21 88

“Only 5

early

qualifiers

for the

Finals,

but plenty

of

familiar

names

queuing

up.”

like an alien invasion. Then at midnight the fireworks went off. In addition to the Chedi’s own fabu-lous display we were treated to nearly 20 mins of pyrotechnics all along the river. We made a final forlorn effort to get the DJ to play some dance music but as it was clear the evening was ending sev-eral of us headed off to a nearby bar to have a couple of drinks we didn’t need!

The following day was spent by the pool and a little light shopping and then the serious stuff began at Chiang Mai Highlands for round one. The best course in Chiang Mai by far was in great condition and Russell Smit showed his class with a wonderful 36 points. Sharon Fell committed a huge faux pas by beating her husband with an excellent 35 and Stella Gold-stein was next on 34.

But it was time to get out of the city and so we packed our bags and boarded the plane for Phuket. Some thought it was warm in the North but down in south they were having a heat wave. Luckily the Indigo Pearl was right on the beach. This trendy resort hotel is another that divides opinion. The Tin Mine theme runs right through the hotel which was completely refurbished after the Tsunami

washed away the ground floor rooms. They took the old 3 star Pearl Village and knocked down the walls so that two rooms be-came one. Almost all the rooms were Junior Suites.

Just outside the gardens you walk through one of two gates and you are on the beach. Nai Yang has the azure blue seas for which Phuket is renowned and being in a nature reserve there are no speed boats and jet skis. There are dozens of small res-taurants serving fresh seafood on the beach for £10 a head including copious quantities of beer. To me this is what Thai-land is about; eating with your feet in the sand and close enough to the sea to throw your empty mussel shells back.

Golf in Phuket, like almost every-thing else, was extremely expen-sive and some would say unjusti-fiably so. But that’s what we were there for and so we played round two of the tournament at Laguna. This is one of Phuket’s original courses. It is a beautiful layout but rather like Royal Chiang Mai was in need of a bit of TLC. But Melvyn and Ian en-joyed it both shooting 36 points. Godfrey had missed round one but played well for 33 and Traff,

having been relieved of his driving duties shot 32.

Next day several of us took a long tail fishing boat over to a rocky outcrop for some superb snorkel-ling followed by a long liquid lunch on the beach. This wasn’t really the right preparation for the Blue Canyon test. The Lakes course may not be as well reputed as the Canyon but the greens were light-ning fast and the abundance of water soon sorted the men from the boys. Russell retook his place at the top of the leader board with a wonderful 37 points, 4 better than Martin and Traff hung onto 3rd place with 31. Anne Fern’s 30 giving her a good chance of the ladies prize.

Yet another day on the beach and some more relaxing and we were ready for the final round. The Can-yon course is one of the best in Asia and proved a tremendous test in the heat. Although he had a 5 point lead going into the round, Russell got off to a poor and Mar-tin was soon hunting him down. He said afterwards that he wasn’t really keeping score and didn’t realise that with two to play he was still in with a real chance but Mar-tin’s 33 was just too good for him.

The only other player to reach 30 was Godfrey who must have re-gretted missing the first round. Melvyn took 3rd place and Annie won the ladies prize.

Happily the holiday wasn’t over and 9 of us chartered an old S&S 42 ft sailing boat for a cruise on Phang Nga Bay through the karst rocks towards James Bond Island made famous in The Man with the Golden Gun. This cruising ground is one of the most spectacular in the world, easily rivalling Halong Bay. Although there wasn’t much wind it was still a very relaxing day.

Phuket seems very crowded these days but of course the Russians take their holidays between New Year and the Orthodox Christmas on 7th Jan and so it seems they are everywhere and who can blame them getting away at this time of year. By 15th Jan the crowds will have vanished and Nai Yang beach will have once again resumed its mostly relaxed atmos-phere. We will return on 14th Jan for 6 nights before having 9 nights in Hua Hin at the Sofitel Centara next year to fit in with the New Zealand itinerary. For New Year a return to the Middle East looks favourite. Oman anyone?

THE RACE TO THE ALGARVE AFTER SOUTH AFRICA

Martin Fell 4 20 Copt Heath Gerald Gentle 13 18 John O'Gaunt Lodewijk Schlingemann 17 13 Moscow Country Club Julie Harris 14 10 Domaine Imperial Ian McWhirter 17 10 Drumpelier Barry Birdsall 15 9 Woburn Russell Smit 5 9 Woburn John M Tate 8 9 Berkhamsted Sally Ward 19 9 Royal Lytham Sharon Fell 25 8 Redditch Melvyn Fern 14 8 Willesley Park Neil Gillam 9 8 Wentworth Christine Richardson 22 8 Celtic Manor 2010 Dennis Coe 14 7 Don Cayo Ian Harris 8 7 Domaine Imperial Inge Kent 17 7 Windlesham Anthony Trafford 14 7 Eaton John Ward 14 7 Anglesey Elizabeth Fern 11 6 Willesley Park Richard Bleakley 14 5 North Wales Linda Coe 22 5 Don Cayo Stella Goldstein 16 5 Torksey Melanie Staff 17 5 Woburn Derek Blackburn 18 4 Aspley Guise & Woburn Sands Dorothy Blackburn 16 2 Aspley Guise & Woburn Sands Jackie Bleakley 16 2 North Wales Jonnie Oldham 20 2 Margaret Ryan 29 2 Balbriggan Kathleen Birdsall 21 1 Woburn June Gauke 20 1 Lincoln Sandie Klimcke 11 1 Clandon Regis

“To me this is what

Thailand is about;

eating with your

feet in the sand and

close enough to the sea to

throw your

empty mussel shells back.”

.

GERRY GENTLE MASTER OF CONTROL presented. Len Peifer’s team of Derek Burridge, Julie Harris and Kathy Birdsall were the day’s class act and all agreed that apart from the bunkers the Siem Reap courses were excellent.

But it was time to board the plane for Bangkok and return to Greencard’s home in Thailand; the Dusit Thani Hua Hin. The hotel was as welcoming as ever and the cocktail around the pool on the first eve-ning was like an old school reunion.

Hua Hin over the years has grown but the essence still remains; fine seafood, good shopping, nice beaches and excellent golf courses. Our bookings were thrown into a little disarray by the Asian Tour Q school being in town at the same time but it did-n’t really affect us too badly. We moved Springfield to earlier in the week and played the final round at Sea Pines.

But the tournament got off to a good start at Banyan. Always in great condition this course is a good test off the blue tees even if we do soften it a bit on the really tough driving holes. The greens were slicker than an oil spill and some of the pin positions were challenging – but that’s just the way we like it, or at least we say we do.

Barry Birdsall obviously did as he romped home with 36 ahead of Inge Kent on 34 and Godfrey Horsford on 33. Gerry Gentle and Ian Harris were lurking in the back-ground on 32.

Next up was my home course at Spring-field, We were playing it just before the final qualifiers and so it was in good shape and especially enjoyed by Julie with a stunning 40 points. Gerry had 38 and Martin Fell found conditions to his liking with 37. But Barry Birdsall wasn’t going to move aside easily as he scored a work-manlike 35 as did our favourite Irishman – Frank Ryan.

We then had a couple of days off before playing the best course in Hua Hin and many think the best in Thailand – Black Mountain – a money no object creation of a Scandinavian Hua Hin resident. Gerry and Neil Gillam found it to their taste with superb scores of 38 but again Barry was hanging on with 36. Mags Ryan cele-brated in style with 35 and Melanie Staff put in a challenge for the Ladies prizes with 34.

There was a day’s rest before the Final round at Sea Pines, an army owned course that has been massively revamped in recent years. Unfortunately having had to book it late out start times were later than we would like and by the time we arrived they were running out of caddies. As fast as they were coming off the course the caddies were being press-ganged to

It is 5 years since our last visit to Cam-bodia and in that time there has been an unbelievable amount of develop-ment. Mostly hotels established along the major routes into town. So many, in fact, that one wonders how all the occupants of these establishments could ever all visit the ancient temples of Angkor in one day. For that is what most of the visitors to Siem Reap do. Stay 2 nights, visit the temples and go. But not our illustrious party because along with the development of hotels there has been a tripling of the number of golf courses. To Phokeethra has been added Angkor golf and Siem Reap Lakes.

One thing that hasn’t changed however is the Sofitel. Although only 16 years old it looks and feels like a Raffles, being built in the colonial style. The large rooms with hardwood floors are extremely comfortable and the service is impeccable. From around the pool and the gardens it is impossible to imagine that you are in the centre of Cambodia’s second city.

In 2008 the downtown area was cen-tred around the old market with some lovely laid back bars playing Café del Mar style music and one could easily while away an evening watching the world go by. As usual the Western tour-ist has ruined it by opening a plethora of bars with live bands all competing with each other for decibel output. But in the alleys off Pub Street, as it is now known, the lovely little Cambodian res-taurants can still be found and a plate of fresh spring rolls, a marvellous dish called Amok and a couple of beers will set you back $7. People seeing it for the first time think it is a vibrant fun place but like the beaches of Phuket we older hands hanker after a past that will never return.

But on our first day we got straight into the golf at the Sofitel’s own course, Pho-keethra. A challenging layout in generally excellent condition except that bizarrely the caddies didn’t want to rake the bun-kers and so what should have been a mar-vellous experience was somewhat spoiled by the lottery of the lies in the bunkers.

Unsurprisingly it was a team that had al-ready been in Thailand for a fortnight that won it as jet lag wasn’t an issue for Sandie Klimcke, Julie Harris and Hanah Ridley, ably assisted by your humble diarist.

Monday was set aside for sightseeing and on the whole everyone took a tour of the impressive Angkor Wat even if some were a little reluctant. Generally the temple got the thumbs up but the trip to the floating village was definite thumbs down. What used to be a trip to see a genuinely alter-native way of life has become a goon show whereby the tourists are as much part of the show as the inhabitants of the village. What used to be a $5 boat ride is now a $30 tourist rip off. The general experience probably wasn’t helped by going there in a tuk tuk!!

But Tuesday was back to the golf and this time to the new Siem Reap Lakes course. This is a Korean owned development and so we were hoping that it would be in first class condition which it was, unless you landed in the bunkers. They were even worse than Phokeethra. No doubt the sand was partially to blame as it was of a thick almost clay like texture, but the cad-dies again made no attempt to rake it. But Ian Harris’ team of Freddie Geddes, Angela Burridge and Simon Klimcke overcame the difficulties to win by one point from Julie Harris’ team.

We of course left the best until last and Angkor Golf, run by Scotsman Andy, was immaculate. They had a different kind of sand and the whole course was beautifully

Cont Page 5 …….

Lodewijk Schlingemann, Gerry Gentle. Julie Harris & Barry Birdsall at the Dusit

P a g e 4

“ A

Vietnamese

cultural

show on

Chinese

New Year

certainly

caught the

chaps

attention!”

Christine Richardson, Martin Fell, Sally & John Ward

MARTIN FELL TWO OUT OF THREE

Disappointingly our group to Vietnam this year was rather small with just 10 players. This was surprising given that so many had enjoyed the trip to Danang in 2012. The combination of 2 great golf courses, a lovely hotel right on the beach with rooms 10 metres from the breaking waves and the magical town of Hoi An with its thousands of illuminated Chinese lanterns, superb restaurants and bars, excellent shopping and tailors, all adds up to one of the best desti-nations imaginable. Throw in sun-shine, warmth and cheap beer and it is as close to paradise as a golfer can get.

It’s hard therefore to understand why they stayed away. It’s true that we have done Vietnam 4 times now and it possibly doesn’t have that “comfortable as an old shoe” feeling that you get in Thailand but it is nev-ertheless a very rewarding country. One small problem is that both Hanoi and Saigon are extremely difficult cities for golfers because of the traf-fic and there is no real alternative to flying in to one of them. Hopefully Danang airport will open up to a di-rect flight from Bangkok as I can easily envisage a tour with a week in Thailand and a week in Danang.

Anyway we arrived in Saigon and had a day or two to check out the city which is changing in leaps and bounds. Hanoi is the administrative capital but Saigon is the commercial capital and it shows. The growth of 6-7% p.a. has resulted in skyscrap-ers, luxury hotels, shopping malls and ….. cars. But the people love it. It is only 3 years since our last visit and the change is staggering.

We paid our usual visit to Cu Chi to see the network of tunnels through which the Viet Cong carried out their night time assaults on American

bases. The visit always leaves the group with some awkward questions concerning Iraq and Afghanistan and then we struggled through the traffic for a game at Long Thanh. It took over an hour to get there but the course was lovely if somewhat tricky. Martin Fell led his team of Sue Hill, Jonnie Oldham and Inge Kent to a comfortable victory.

So next day we bade farewell to hot and steamy Saigon and headed up into the hills to the cool climate of Dalat. Actually this year it was a bit too cool for some tastes with tem-peratures dipping to 15C at night. But during the day it was in the mid 20’s and perfect for golf. Sofitel are no longer running the Palace but it remained unspoilt, with it’s time capsule bathrooms and room fit-tings. How long it can stay like that is anyone’s guess but in the modern era people are so used to having a walk in shower that having an old cast iron bath with big brass taps does lose its appeal. The fact that the hotel was virtually empty might be an indication of the future.

We found the Dalat course in the best condition we have ever seen it. The greens were superb and there was hardly anyone else on the course. Millionaire’s golf. We played an Am Am on the first day and this was one narrowly by Rich-ard Bleakley’s team of Christine Richardson, Inge Kent and your humble scribe. On the free day we took the old train up to visit the Chinese pagoda which is a quite magnificent collection of buildings covered in mosaics made up, it would seem, mostly from broken plates. A few of us bought some needlework silk pictures which is a speciality of Vietnam. Later we visited the waterfall which can be reached either by stairs or a mono-rail toboggan run. The latter was somewhat spoiled by a ridiculous Russian lady who crawled down the hill with the brake on taking a movie and thus prevented us from giving it top speed.

For the last day’s golf in Dalat we tried something new – a two ball Texas Scramble – played mostly in teams of husband and wife. There was always going to be just one winner, the Fells, but the formula met with great approval. A good fun day all round. If we had had a larger field we could have had sepa-rate prizes for best couple, best all male pair and best female pair.

We were up at the crack of dawn for our rescheduled flight to Danang in a little 68 seat Focker. When we landed we were hit by the higher temps and humidity. After the short transfer to The Victoria Hoi An we were back in paradise. Although only a 4star hotel it is hard to imag-ine a better location. The style of the hotel is low rise with bungalows spread through the gardens so

P a g e 5

almost everyone can just walk out of their room straight onto the beach. The sound of the crashing surf lulls one to sleep even if it does also wake one up.

A couple of lazy days were spent on the beach before we were ready for the main event. First up was Danang GC, a Greg Norman design, which although only 3 years old feels as though it has been there for decades. He cleverly used the natural links terrain to leave his fairway bunkers with unkempt grassy borders that blend easily into the surrounding dunes. His signature par 3 takes you down to the beach and from the tee you get an infinity view of the green, the flag, the sea and Cham Island in the distance. Someone in the design team had real vision. Continuing my somewhat remark-able golfing comeback I scored 39 to lead the day ahead of Inge and Martin on 33.

Next day we were over at the Monty. Given that the courses are virtually side by side they are completely contrasting. Monty has used the American style with lakes and large greens. Although not as pleasing on the eye it is still an excellent course and very challenging. John Ward rose to the challenge with 38 and Sally was not to be outdone with 37 and yours truly held onto the lead with 35. Even Jonnie Oldham with borrowed clubs and Christine Richardson scored 33.

We had another free day and whilst we were on the beach we were aware that the waves that had gently lapped at our loungers were now threatening to wash us out to sea. But they were very inviting if a little violent. Jonnie, Christine and Inge went for a dip and Inge was promptly knocked flat and lost her bikini much to the amusement of those of us on the beach. Half an hour later I also went for a swim and was somewhat surprised by the force of the breakers. I decided it would be fun to body surf one back to the beach. Initially this seemed a great idea as I took off on the crest of the wave but seconds later I had overtaken it and it crashed down on top of me and banged me into the sand. I knew instantly that all was not well and sure enough I could feel a little shoulder damage.

Chinese New Year was under way and to celebrate we spent the evening at the

hotel and enjoyed a Vietnamese buffet with some exotic dancers who were easily the highlight of the eve-ning, especially for the boys!

Next day we were back at the Norman course and much to my sur-prise my shoulder did-n’t give me any trouble. I romped round the front nine with 18 points and stood on the 10th tee 13 shots clear

of my nearest contender. But there in front of me was a Korean mixed 4 ball who had just jumped in even though we were right up with the group in front. For the first time in the round we had to wait, and the red mist descended. I wound up for a massive tee shot and topped it along the ground and at the same time it felt as though I had been stabbed under the heart. I tried to continue for the next 2 holes but it was hopeless. The pain intensified and so I gave up and there ended my best ever chance of winning one of my events. Pat Stewart always said I couldn’t give up Greencard until I won one. Maybe the golfing Gods preor-dained it that way.

John Ward continued his run of form fin-ishing with 3 pars to shoot 34 with Martin (33) and Sharon (31) next so John took my place at the top just one ahead of Martin and Sally was 3 back on 95. Sharon was next closest on 89.

So for the final round it was Wards vs Fells but in the event the great contest never materialised. John got off to a terri-ble start and never recovered and Martin was off to a flyer. He finished with 38 and John with 21, but it was Christine’s 35 that propelled her onto the podium behind Sally, knocking John back into 4th place.

So all in all it was a terrific tour in spite of the small field which proves the point that all that is needed for a superb golf destination apart, obviously, from great golf courses, is a friendly town with good shopping, good food and cheap beer. Hoi An/Danang has this in spades.

Next year we will be going to New Zea-land at this time but have no fear we will be back in Hoi An in 2015.

go out again and this wasn’t always met with unalloyed joy. Some disappeared into the clubhouse trying to hide, or maybe grab something to eat. It caused quite a bit of disarray with people waiting for their clubs to appear on the 1st tee. The person who was most stressed by the lack of caddies obvi-ously enjoyed being fired up and Melanie scored an excellent 35, along with Lodewijk and Gerry. This moved our Muscovite up into 4th place and of course meant that Gerry consolidated his position so securely that he was able to put to two balls in the lake at the 17th. Barry didn’t bring his game face, rather like his clubmate Russell in Thailand One, and allowed Gerry to romp home by 10 points. Julie’s 33 enabled her to secure 5th place and a place in the finals and Melanie shot up to 6th place.

Hua Hin once again provided the perfect refuge from the ice and snow and it is a given that we will be back next year. We have been approached by the Sofitel Cen-tara in Hua Hin to see about a change of venue and of course that will all come down to price but much as we like the Dusit they are little by little becoming more a confer-ence hotel than a 5 star resort. Ultimately the two don’t mix. Whilst there are no con-ferences in house all is blissful but when they descend on the breakfast you could have sworn that a plague of locusts had just swept through.

Watch this space for the decision. I liked the Indigo Pearl in Phuket as I still think that Nai Yang beach captures the essence of Thai-land; beautiful hotel with a superb beach bordered by small local restaurants serving fresh sea food straight from the fishing boats. No jet skis or speed boats, just the sea breeze in the casuarinas and the waves gently lapping the shore. I sense that before our epic trip to New Zealand next year we will do 6 nights in Phuket playing Red Moun-tain, Loch Palm and Blue Canyon Lakes (all courses where we can have buggies) fol-lowed by 9 nights in Hua Hin with one of our private Charters straight into Hua Hin airport if we get at least 40.

Vietnam Results 1 FELL MARTIN 33 32 33 38 136

2 WARD SALLY 30 37 28 30 125

3 RICHARDSON CHRISTINE 26 33 26 35 120

4 WARD JOHN 27 38 34 21 120

5 FELL SHARON 29 29 31 30 119

6 BLEAKLEY RICHARD 27 29 25 34 115

7 KENT INGE 33 26 29 25 113

8 OLDHAM JONNIE 23 33 22 19 97

9 BLEAKLEY JACKIE 21 27 23 23 94

A photo just cannot do justice to the magic that is Hoi An by night

GERRY GENTLE ….(Cont.. from Page 3)

Cambodia & Thai Results 1 GENTLE GERRY 32 38 38 35 143 2 BIRDSALL BARRY 36 35 36 26 133 3 GILLAM NEIL 31 31 38 30 130 4 SCHLINGEMANN LODEWIJK 29 33 31 35 128 5 HARRIS JULIE 28 40 25 33 126 6 STAFF MELANIE 28 27 34 35 124 7 HARRIS IAN 32 34 28 27 121 8 KENT INGE 34 28 31 25 118 9 RYAN MARGARET 25 33 35 25 118 10 BIRDSALL KATHLEEN 31 28 26 28 113 11 FELL MARTIN 29 37 28 19 113 12 STAFF RICHARD 29 22 30 31 112 13 BURRIDGE ANGELA 27 29 30 26 112 14 FELL SHARON 30 31 23 27 111 15 HORSFORD GODFREY 33 19 31 27 110 16 RYAN FRANK 28 35 27 20 110 17 WARD SALLY 27 27 27 25 106 18 HILL SUSAN 26 27 26 24 103 19 KENNEDY ALISON 26 28 27 22 103 20 GEDDES FREDDIE 24 26 28 24 102

P a g e 6

John Tate, Ian McWhirter, Linda Coe and Gerry Gentle

IAN MCWHIRTER WINS WITHOUT WINE

Just as Thailand is probably the best place in the world to play golf in Janu-ary, so it can be said that the Western Cape is incomparable in late February and March. We have now done tours to South Africa pretty much every year since 2003, with the odd break for Argentina, and it would be true to say that we have pretty much honed the trip into a seamless tour of beautiful hotels and sensational courses.

We started as usual at The Vineyard in Newlands, an hotel that we consider to be a benchmark in how to run a small independent hotel. From the moment you walk through the bar and out onto the terrace it feels just like Somerset Maugham would have us believe Eng-lish country life was like in the Thirties. You slip into the Vineyard like a com-fortable pair of slippers. Set in the shadow of Table Mountain, an easy walk to some lovely restaurants and shopping, and quick access to the mo-torway system to get to the golf courses it is perfectly located.

We began the golf with an Am Am at Royal Cape. This grand old club may no longer be considered on a par with the later courses but it is still a lovely time warp in beautiful parkland with superb views of Table Mountain. John Tate, Jim Gauke, Angela Dangerfield and Simon Fisher wrapped up an early victory there.

We had a day of sightseeing and the inevitable trip up the mountain in the cable car before another warm up round at Erinvale. A number of Green-card “Swallows” like to fly to Erinvale for the winter and they joined us for a good fun day on this SA Open venue with spectacular views over False Bay. Gerry Gentle, Angela Dangerfield, Wal-lace Grace and Dorothy Blackburn were the only team to break 100.

These days we rent a minivan for those who don’t like driving and so we de-

cided on a good day out to drive around Chapman’s Peak over to Simon’s Town to see the penguins and then over to Guardian Peak restaurant for a spot of lunch washed down by copious amounts of Shiraz, altogether a marvellous way of spending the day.

But it was time for the competition proper and we made the long drive up to Paarl to play Pearl Valley which has hosted the SA Open three times in recent years. It’s a tough courses in the wind and it’s always warm up there but it is also a spec-tacular course. Like all Nicklaus designs you’ll need every club in the bag to get round it.

Most failed miserably, but Ian McWhirter had the round of the day with 34 and both Linda Coe and Rita Barker shot 31 with only Neil Dan-gerfield achieving 30. There were a lot of “Ifs” to be heard in the club-house.

But after 6 nights in Cape Town it was time to move on to Arabella outside Hermanus. This is a no expense spared hotel on a fabulous course overlooking a lagoon nature reserve, reminiscent in many ways of Rio Formosa in Portugal. The course is a tough one and a practice round was definitely required and so we used our new 2 ball Texas Scramble format to make a change. Pairing couples together coinciden-tally made for largely even teams. But as it turned out it was the unlikely pairing of your humble dia-rist and John Fulford who topped the leader board.

Another day was spent by the pool or in the spa before tackling round two of the competition. Conditions were once again benign but even a modest breeze can turn this course into a monster. The old pros came

to the top with Gerry Gentle scoring 34 and John Tate 33. Louise Andrews also had a good 33 with a borrowed driver. June Gauke and Liz Morris with 31 and 30 also played well.

In setting up the tour we ran into an im-possible hurdle when we found that Fan-court couldn’t take us before the 9th March and Arabella couldn’t let us stay on after the 6th and so we needed a filler. I thought about Simola but that would have added another 50 kms to the drive and so we settled on Ernie Els’ course at Ou-baai and the Hyatt Hotel. We drove over in brilliant sunshine but just as we ap-proached it clouded over and grew decid-edly chilly. The hotel was clearly designed by a first year architecture student. End-less flights of stairs and ramps leading nowhere with no obvious thought and at the evening get together there were clear signs of discontent. However as is so often the case when the sun rose like a golden ball in the morning sky the smiles returned and play commenced with a 3-ball Am Am on Ernie’s links. It has to be said that the course is excellent. The greens were quick and the fairways tight. To score well you needed to be on your short game. Megan Bibby, Wallace Grace and Dorothy Blackburn showed us how it should be done with 73.

The following day we decided on a rerun of the 2 ball Texas Scramble and low and behold it was John Fulford again this time partnered by Gerry Gentle. Although he was languishing in last place on the leader board he was obviously the “Go To” man for a Texas.

That evening the clouds gathered and we had 2 hours of heavy rain but we weren’t concerned as the forecast was great. We made the short drive over to one of the world’s finest golf resorts at Fancourt. The place certainly has the wow factor. Three of South Africa’s Top 10 courses in one venue. When the sun is shining it is as close to golfing heaven as one can get. Even Gary Player was there to greet us and Jim Gauke managed to get a hand-shake with the great man.

Round Three of the comp was on the easier of the two courses – Outeniqua. Gerry was 5 points clear of John Tate and Linda Coe at the start of the day and the field was closely bunched behind them. But things didn’t go according to the script. Gerry stumbled to 26 and with Dennis Coe and Ian McWhirter scoring well the gap at the top was suddenly very narrow. Gerry was now just 2 points ahead of Ian, Lodewijk and John Tate with Dennis just 2 further back.

So on another beautiful cloudless day it was all to play for on the Montagu. This course is a little less forgiving than the

P a g e 7

Outeniqua and if you don’t get your drive away you’re going to suffer. Poor old Lodewijk did get his drives away but al-most always into a bunker or behind a tree, but Ian and Gerry started as though it was a Sunday afternoon 4-ball. Both were level twos after 7 but then Ian slipped up a little and Gerry increased his lead at the turn to 3.

But golf is a strange sport and Gerry sud-denly looked a lot less sure of himself on the back 9. Pulling his approach shots at almost every hole he only managed 3 points in the next 5 holes. Ian on the other hand put his pedal to the metal and scored 14 points on the next 6 holes mov-ing easily into the lead. He stumbled a bit on the last 3 holes but it didn’t matter as he had put himself in an unassailable position. John Tate was his nearest chal-lenger with 30 to move within 2 but Gerry’s 26 enabled him to hang onto 3rd place. Lodewijk, much to his relief re-tained 5th place and won his way to the Finals. Could Ian’s superb performance have been because he shunned the wine in favour of Castle Lager? I have a strong suspicion that there might have been some truth in that fact. And did Gerry collapse because of a pulled muscle in his right buttock, frankly I’d rather not go there!

Linda Coe, who had suffered all week with a cough, was leading lady, with Doro-thy and June trailing in her wake.

The combination of superb hotels, chal-lenging but beautifully presented golf courses, wonderful weather and afford-able restaurants makes SA a winner every time for us. Some worry about security but provided one keeps to sensible guide-lines it is as safe as any British city.

We will return next year after New Zea-land, probably starting on 2nd March with 6 nights at The Vineyard, 3 Nights at Ara-bella and 5 Nights at Fancourt playing each course twice. The Links will again be offered as an optional extra but we feel it is a bit too tough (not to mention expensive) for a tournament round.

Snow lays all about and those giant wind-mills are as still as the dead, for as we all know they only work when they are not needed. This winter it’s hard to believe the Global Warming story as Britain shiv-ers through it’s coldest winter since ’63.

However all is not gloom and doom. We are still allowed to travel, even if we are taxed more and more to do so and of course the 10%+ fall in the pound since New Year hasn’t helped. But we’ve had some very enjoyable trips so far this year and there are plenty more to come.

Whilst I write, a cheerful party are enjoy-ing beautiful weather in Dubai and a large group are getting ready to fly to Turkey for our first event at Cornelia Dia-mond. An all inclusive holiday is a sure fire way to beat the currency blues.

After that in May we are off to Madeira. A jewel of an island in the middle of the Atlantic. Two excellent golf courses and a really nice hotel on the coast. The weather there in May is as good as it gets and so fly from Manchester with Jet2 or from Gatwick with Monarch or TAP and 3 hrs later you’ll be soaking up the sun.

June brings us back to our roots in Jut-land. Back in the early 80’s we used to do a regular trip to Denmark. The courses are beautiful, resembling Scot-tish inland gems such as Blairgowrie. Denmark is a beautiful, friendly country and you can either fly there or take your own car on the ferry.

Sligo is home to some of Ireland's best links courses and coupled with the excel-lent SAS Radisson hotel this is a top venue for all those serious about links golf.

August is the month for playing the top UK venues and we have two superb trips—Yorkshire with Ilkley, Moortown and Alwoodley (all in England’s Top 100), and then on up to Scotland for the best of Ayrshire—Glasgow & Western Gailes, The Dundonald and Royal Troon. All in Scot-land’s Top 50.

We then retreat South to the area where I grew up—Sandwich, which is home to 3 Open Championship courses—Prince’s, Royal Cinque Ports and Royal St George’s. With our hotel on the course and on the famous Sandwich Bay and a dinner in the George’s Clubhouse this is not an event to be missed.

Immediately afterwards we cross the Channel and make the short drive north from Calais to Bruges. The Venice of the North. A beautiful city and a beautiful Kempinski hotel and four beautiful Bel-gian courses, not to mention the Moules/Frites.

In October we are off to Naples in Florida staying at the Waldorf Astoria and playing

the best they have to offer. By which time you will of course have qualified for the fi-nals and another great end of term event in Portugal at Quinta do Lago.

Planning the programme for the year is never easy and as this financial crisis drags on it isn’t getting any easier. The Pound is a mere shadow of its former self and the world looks an expensive place. In 2008 £1 would have bought 75 Thai Baht (now 44), €1.65 (€1.16), $2.10 ($1.50), 15 Yuan (¥9.5), NZ$3 (NZ$1.80). Avid readers of this col-umn will know I predicted this back in 2005 but being right doesn’t make it better.

So where to go in 2014. I think sometimes it is better just to get used to the idea that holidays are more expensive. Trying end-lessly to chase down bargains doesn’t nec-essarily bring you a good holiday. Spain is offering some superb deals but when you arrive in these resorts the reality is that they are in receivership and service is very poor.

Europe desperately needs to dismantle the Euro to allow the Med countries to rebalance but of course vested interests won’t allow it and so I fancy we will continue to search out the weird and wonderful and pay the price. A holiday isn’t a holiday if you don’t enjoy it.

Although we haven’t yet been to Oman (RM is off in April) we fancy it for New Year. Ex-pensive for sure but two great golf courses, lovely climate, beautiful mountainous back-drop and superb hotels. Above all a change from Thailand.

Thailand, Phuket & Hua HIn, was inevitable before our great New Zealand tour, but these two hotels, Indigo Pearl on Nai Yang and Sofitel Centara in Hua hin, tick every box we require to make a superb holiday. Five star, on the beach, close to great golf, walk to bars and restaurants, cheap food and drink. What more could a man want?

Then we return to the Western Cape. Quite simply because along with Thailand nowhere else on earth offers quite this fantastic com-bination of beautiful scenery, perfect weather, quality golf courses and extremely comfortable hotels and the moment you step outside wonderful food and wine for a fraction of the cost in Europe. SA would be paradise on earth if they could get their poli-tics sorted but because they can’t their cur-rency is actually in worse state than the Pound so it’s not all bad news.

After that things get a bit hazy. Dubai beck-ons in early April and we will surely return to Cornelia in Turkey. Dr Jean will welcome us back to Morfontaine and we will be trying to get a deal at the gorgeous Mont Royal hotel for our Chantilly tour in June.

Mauritius is too good to miss in October but in between there will be the usual mix of Greencard surprises and hopefully they will meet the hopes and expectations and more importantly the pockets of our faithful follow-ers. Happy Easter Everyone.

South Africa Results 1 MCWHIRTER IAN 34 21 32 32 119 2 TATE JOHN 25 33 29 30 117 3 GENTLE GERRY 29 34 26 26 115 4 COE DENNIS 27 25 33 25 110 5 SCHLINGEMANN LODEWIJK 27 30 30 23 110 6 COE LINDA 31 27 25 26 109 7 BLACKBURN DEREK 25 29 20 26 100 8 FISHER SIMON 24 28 25 23 100 9 BLACKBURN DOROTHY 28 23 24 22 97

10 GAUKE JUNE 20 31 29 17 97 11 BARKER MALCOLM 22 21 23 29 95 12 BIBBY MEGAN 20 25 28 20 93 13 MCWHIRTER FIONA 25 24 19 24 92 14 GRACE EDWINA 24 27 21 20 92 15 ANDREWS LOUISE 20 33 18 20 91 16 GRACE WALLACE 23 27 22 19 91 17 BARKER RITA 31 25 20 15 91 18 GAUKE JIM 23 22 25 19 89 19 FULFORD JOHN 21 20 19 20 80 TO VINE RICHARD 25 33 32 32 122

FROM HERE TO ETERNITY

I WAS ROBBED!

So said the Cypriot when he studied his bank statement after the banks re-opened yesterday. And whatever euphemisms they dream up—tax, levy, investor contribution—the fact is that if he had more than €100,000 in his ac-count at a Cypriot bank he will lose 40% plus of the surplus. He was robbed.

Now who do you think has €100,000 sitting on deposit in a bank these days? The EU propaganda would have you believe that the only people who were hurt by this theft were Russian Mafiosi and recipients of laundered money

Well obviously there was the odd Rus-sian foolish enough to get caught in this trap, although most were tipped off weeks ago. But the vast majority of large accounts held in a bank are of course owned by SME’s. Small and Medium enterprises. In fact businesses just like Greencard who keep their work-ing capital in the bank as a matter of necessity. Then there are the people who moved money to Cyprus to buy a house who might have not yet bought. And people who moved their entire life

savings there to fund a retirement. Or people who had just sold a house, or peo-ple who had just cashed in a life insurance policy. Not people I would call “investors”.

These are the people who in the main have been hit by this theft. And whilst the man in the Taverna might heave a sigh of relief that he was spared he will probably find that his boss wasn’t and that come the end of the month he will be receiving his P45, because few small businesses can survive losing such a large chunk of their working capital. The injustice is breathtaking.

The solution proposed for Cyprus more closely resembles the Final Solution for their economy.

Since Blair I have little respect for the in-tegrity of politicians but this act of theft is a low watermark and proof of the contempt EU bureaucrats have for us. This plan was conceived as retribution for daring to be a “no questions asked” financial centre. But the cause of Cyprus’ downfall was the 75% haircut imposed on holders of Greek bonds by the ECB of which Cypriot banks were overloaded. They believed that a Greek

bond was no more risky than a German bond, it is after all a currency union. (Note the ECB didn’t suffer this haircut.)

The hardworking businessman, the re-tiree with dreams of sunset years in the sunshine, the aspiring homeowner and the odd gangster are the immediate vic-tims of this crime. But as in all good sto-ries it will be the dreams of the EU appa-ratchiks that will be shattered forever as the dominos start to fall. It is no longer possible for anyone in the EZ and proba-bly the EU to think of their money in the bank as safe. Who in Italy, Spain or Por-tugal will trust their banks now? They say deposits under €100,000 are guaran-teed but we all saw that originally they intended to take 6.75% of all deposits.

The genie is out of the bottle. Next up is Slovenia but after that my guess is back to Portugal, then Italy and Spain. How many livelihoods are they prepared to sacrifice on the altar of “Ever Closer Un-ion”. The human cost around the Med of this experiment is devastating and the price is loss of democracy. Things are about to get ugly.

At last year’s Grand Finals we celebrated my 60th Birthday. We had a fabulous din-ner and dancing until late to two marvel-lous bands. It was so much fun that peo-ple requested an “End of Term Party” every year. Why not? So on the final night we will have a prize giving dinner followed by dancing courtesy of The Bot-tles—a brilliant Beatles tribute band com-plete with mop-tops and sharp suits.

This event was a huge success in both 2011 & 2012 and we feel at last we have found a venue truly worthy of the Finals. In fact so good we’ve already signed up for 2 more years! The 5 * Monte da Quinta Suites with their 1 & 2 bedroom apart-ments and the 3 Q de L courses—North, South & Laranjal are real quality. The 2 Bedroom Suites are ideal for 2 single peo-ple to share with only a small single supp.

If you are planning on coming the only way to guarantee your place is to send a deposit of £100 pp.

Included for Qualifiers

7 Nights b & b in a shared room 1 Bed-room apartment at the 5 star Monte da Quinta Suites 7 days car hire between 2

5 rounds of golf on the Q de L North, South (2) and Laranjal (2)

Welcome & Prize Giving Cocktails Gala Dinner & Party All tournament fees Upgrade Prices Single Supplement 1 Bed Apt £149

Single Supplement 2 Bed Apt £79

Extra Night 1 Bed Apt p Apt £80

Extra Night 2 Bed Apt p Apt £100

The Greencard Masters As always we will be proposing a tour-nament for the non-qualifiers as well. The Greencard Masters will be the usual format of an Am Am followed by 4 rounds of stableford with some great prizes. Be there to crown the 2013 Champion and join in this great festival of golf.

Prices for the Greencard Masters Golfer 1 Bed Apartment £899

Golfer 2 Bed Apartment £819

Non Golfer -£220

Single Room Supp 1 Bed Apt £149

Single Room Supp 2 Bed Apt £79

Golf Only £599

FLIGHT NOT INCLUDED

Grand Finals at Quinta do Lago — November 2nd—9th The Monte da Quinta Suites Laranjal Golf Course