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Mentoring as part of GM Commitment to Youth Employment Mentoring Handbook November 2012

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Page 1: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

1 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Mentoring as part of GM Commitment to Youth Employment

Mentoring Handbook

November 2012

Page 2: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

2 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

CONTENTS

The Background to the GM Revolution Mentoring programme 3

Inspiration for mentoring… 4

Exploring the Mentoring Role 5

Endorsements of the Capabilities 6

Aspirational Futures 7

Types of Mentoring 8

What Mentoring Is Not… 9

Unlocking the mentoring Role 10

The Benefits of Mentoring 11

Key Skills of Being a Mentor 12

Challenge and support 15

Giving and Receiving Feedback 16

Diamond Ranking the Mentoring Skills 17

What is the most reliable component for face to face communication? 18

The Mentoring Process 19

The Cycle of Reflective Practice 21

A Helpful Collection of Popular Questions 22

Models of Support for Mentoring 23

The TGROW Model 24

Using MIAR 26

Where do we meet and what are the concerns around Safeguarding? 29

Instructions for first meeting and support services 30 Appendices

1. Aspirational futures 2. Safeguarding 3. Script 4. GMRM Agreement form

Page 3: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

3 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

The Background to the GM Revolution Mentoring programme

At the same time, many local businesses and employers are struggling to meet their skills needs and find it challenging to recruit the most appropriate young people when they have vacancies. In addition, many employers tell us they would like to help even when they don’t have jobs to offer. To support as many young people in to work as possible The Greater Manchester Local Enterprise Partnership is leading a range of initiatives: one of these is the mentoring revolution across Greater Manchester. Thank you for committing your time energy and skills to share your valuable experience with young job seekers. Welcome to the revolution. You will be working with young unemployed people who have been reffered to this

programme by an employment advisor. You will be supporting them as they develop the

knowledge, skills, attitiudes and capabilities that will enable them to secure and maintain

employment.

A commitment of about one hour per week will enable you to initiate and develop a

productive mentoring relationship with a young jobseeker.

What are the expected outcomes of your mentoring Role?

To enable young unemployed people in GM to access the skills networks and

knowledge of experienced people in work

To provide a valued mentoring relationship with a young person, enabling them to

gain positive experiences, skills and knowledge to equip them in the work place

To support young people who are moving towards work

Page 4: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

4 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Inspiration For Mentoring…

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal

approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I posses

tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an

instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humour, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my

response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is

humanised or de- humanised. “ Goethe

“We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are, we do not hear things as they

are, we hear them as we are.” The Talmud

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new“

Albert Einstein

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every

difficulty.” Winston Churchill

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks

as if they were great and noble. Helen Keller

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

Epictetus

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on

earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” Thomas Jefferson

"A great mentor has a knack for making us think we are better than we think we are. They

force us to have a good opinion of ourselves, let us know they believe in us. They make us

get more out of ourselves, and once we learn how good we really are, we never settle for

anything less than our very best". - The Prometheus Foundation

Page 5: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

5 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Exploring the Mentoring Role

It is important to distinguish the role of ‘mentor’ in the context of this initiative. To help

clarify, we see a mentor as someone who is;

“A more experienced individual willing to share knowledge with someone less experienced in

a relationship of mutual trust and who could also be:

“An accomplished and experienced person in work who takes a special, personal interest in

helping to guide and develop a junior or more inexperienced person.”

Are Coaching and Mentoring the Same Thing?

Coaching

Coaching is a method of training, directing or instructing a person or group of people to do a

specific task, achieve a goal or develop certain skills. A coach seeks to impart information; a

coach is committed to another person’s commitment or goal. A coach needs a goal to work

with – winning the game; getting a promotion. It involves monitoring the performance of the

skill or task and giving feedback on how to improve. Coaching is appropriate for specific

skills and short-term goal-oriented situations. Some areas where coaching is used are public

speaking and presenting, learning complex software, sports, music, fitness and most

recently life coaching. Life coaching helps people determine, set and reach personal goals

including, but not limited to, career goals and personal growth. Coaches are usually paid for

their work, and their relationship with those being coached is a professional one.

Mentoring

Mentoring is a relationship built on trust, and one of its primary goals is to make young

people (or persons new to a field of endeavour) more confident in their abilities and talents.

Traditionally mentoring involves an older member of the same profession, a person with

more experience and connections, helping a newcomer to the field. Rather than focus on a

particular skill, task or goal, mentoring is a long-term, on-going process. It is usually a more

personal relationship, based in shared experience. As the newcomer grows, the mentoring

relationship evolves. The mentor often passes on not only tangible knowledge, but also

philosophy, advice and advantages gleaned from years in the field. The mentor may provide

introductions to people or organizations to which a newcomer would not normally have

access. Mentors generally provide guidance, not for personal gain, but out of a desire to help

another individual realize his full potential.

Dictionary:

A wise and trusted counsellor or teacher

An influential senior sponsor or supporter

Page 6: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

6 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Endorsements of the Capabilities Employers

“Today business is not just about having the people with the right technical skills and qualifications. Individuals need to interact on many different levels - personal, professional and social. This requires everyone to develop throughout their careers key sets of skills and values that underpin their job and careers. It is important that this starts at school and is learnt not in the classroom but from interaction with people from a range of backgrounds and exposure to different situations throughout our lives.”

Ian Bowman, Head of Sustainability, UK & North West Europe, Siemens plc

“Northern Rail fully supports this programme to provide a foundation for young adults in life, learning and work. The vision is for this project to assist all parties and Northern Rail aims to do this by integrating these competencies into their work experience model and looking at the feasibility of an employee mentoring scheme for 16 – 20 year olds.”

Nicola Hosty, Head of HR, Northern Rail Education/ Learning Providers

“Learners need more skill development than ever before in order to be successful in an increasingly competitive labour market….we are aiming to integrate the Capabilities within a learner’s programme so that they are part of an holistic approach rather than “tagged” on”

James Scott, Curriculum Director, The Oldham College (now Assistant Principal, 14-19

Learning, Trafford College) “The range of courses, including vocational qualifications and resources, on site has led to a significant reduction in NEET figures. The Capabilities have been identified in the School Development Plan as key to reducing this figure further and, crucially, in enabling young people to sustain employment. All faculties will select those Capabilities most strongly linked to their subject where they will be overtly taught. The school management team are clear that this will support the improvement of our young people’s life chances, equipping them for successful pathways in work, learning and life”

Andy Griffin, Headteacher, Broadoak School, Trafford

‘Supporting a young person’s career - their personal Journey through work, learning and life’

Page 7: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

7 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Aspirational Futures *See appendix 1

Aspirational Futures is a Greater Manchester 14-19 project which has established an

agreed set of Capabilities, bringing together young people‟s needs with those of

education/learning providers and employers in responding to the skills challenge of the Greater Manchester region. We need to work together to support young people in the achievement of these Capabilities - personal skills and attributes that empower young people, placing them in a position to experience success and progression, within and through, learning, work and life.

Page 8: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

8 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Types of Mentoring

Informal Mentoring

Informal mentoring is when a person forms a spontaneous relationship with another person,

often a new employee or student to come alongside him in a new endeavour. In this casual

relationship, the new person seeks guidance and counselling from the more experienced

person.

Structured Mentoring

Organizations, companies and schools create structured mentoring programs. They appoint

inexperienced newcomers with experienced people to train and support them as they work

toward their goals. Many structured mentoring programs include goals of leadership

development, diversity and retention of newcomers. The structure may provide one-on-one

mentoring or a network of mentors.

Peer Mentoring

Peer mentoring assigns mentees to someone with experience who is in their age group.

Peer mentoring usually occurs in educational settings, either consisting of one-on-one

relationships or group mentoring. Group mentoring consists of a mixture of experienced and

new people working together to support one another. Groups meet face to face and via

electronic conferencing at a designated time to discuss issues.

Community-Based Mentoring Programmes

Community-based programmes provide mentors to children, young people and those in

need. Mentoring for programmes like Big Brother, Big Sister includes taking these children

on social outings and helping them with homework. Mentors in community programs work to

positively influence the lives of those in their care. Most of the children in these programs

have been neglected or abused.

Online Mentoring Programmes

In addition to traditional mentoring programmes, various industries have set up online

mentoring programs for people who cannot meet face to face with experienced people.

These organizations, such as SCORE, which counsels small business owners, work with

people around the world who are seeking advice on business and education. These

companies use online conferencing tools or telecommunications to connect mentors with

mentees on designated days.

Page 9: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

9 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

What Mentoring Is Not…

You will not be expected to be the parent. The mentee keeps hold of the responsibility to

take action and make things happen. There may be an expectation that you take control and

just do it for them. You may need to remind them that and support them to take up the

responsibility.

You will not need to be the counsellor. You will not be the one to sort out their problems

regarding health and well-being and personal issues. It is useful to have helpful information

that points them in the right direction. You can share details of people and organisations that

can help, then you can return to mentoring them around their skills, confidence and

capability for employment.

You will not be an opportunity for whinging and moaning. You are not there to listen to a

tirade of woes and troubles. You can thoughtfully bring the guide them back to a more

positive direction. It may take patience and persistence but it is never wasted.

You will not be a best friend. You can be friendly of course but the role will have extra

benefits if you can remain objective and retain the potential to challenge in a direct way that

a friend may not be able to do.

You will not be a disciplinarian. It is not for you to tell your mentee off. To chide them for their

mistakes or to point out they are not working hard enough. You can simply and honestly tell

them if their commitment to the mentoring relationship is not coming up to what you both

agreed and expect. Their success or failure remains their responsibility not yours.

You will not be expected to display God like perfection! Even if you have a lifetime of

extensive and varied experience you will never have all the answers. Neither is it useful if

you have. The role of mentor is to challenge, guide, encourage and support the mentee as

they take their own steps forging their own way.

Your training session will have given you the basics of the role and the recognition of the

skills that are important to being effective. However, the real mentoring experience will bring

all of your thinking to life. Once you get going you will better understand the role and you will

find yourself able to navigate through the demands and expectations that might emerge,

remaining focussed on the your role, homing in on the mentee’s development of the

capabilities and attitudes that they need to secure and retain employment.

Page 10: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

10 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Unlocking the mentoring Role

The type of behaviours that we adopt in mentoring will have a significant effect on the

outcomes that our mentee will achieve. As mentors we operate best with pulling behaviours:

empowering the people we work with to recognise and develop their own innate potential.

We listen attentively, actively, with full and focussed concentration. Listening at depth will

allow us to choose the best questions and the most appropriate time to challenge. Listening

with our whole self will help us to know when to tread gently and when to push the limits of

comfort.

The ability to paraphrase and summarise succinctly will ensure clarity in the relationship. We

move forward with a greater confidence around a well understood shared meaning of what is

being said. Our feedback is informed by our understanding and our sensitivity. As mentors

we can give accurate, objective feedback . We know when it’s time to be supportive. We

recognise and congratulate achievement but we can also carefully craft a challenge that

emerges from clear feedback. We can certainly guide. We have experience and we can

recognise when it will be useful to share a powerful story or to explain a situation from our

perspective.

However, as mentors we must always allow our mentee the responsibility to choose and to

act. Our guidance is always available. We may have shared our experience but the mentee

should feel comfortable to exercise their freedom to choose. They are to stand on their own

feet, to make their own way. We may inspire and motivate our mentee by sharing our

experiences but the choice must remain theirs or we have strayed into the realm of giving

advice which can lead to our mentee doing something because we directed them, advised

them. Instructing and telling are effective in other roles and in other situations but are not

effective at all in the mentoring relationship.

Page 11: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

11 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

The Benefits of Mentoring

For you as a mentor

There are many benefits for you as a mentor. One of the most significant benefits is the

increase in your own self awareness as you work on yourself, seeking to become a better

active listener. Listening at depth and with quality demands that you recognise your own

mental patterns that emerge in judgement and assumption. Your increasing self-awareness

enables you to recognise these patterns and to learn to put them aside and approach the

mentoring role with a sincere, authentic open mind. You will feel a great deal of personal

satisfaction as you see your mentee growing, developing and taking steps to make things

happen in their lives and career.

You may already be an effective communicator but working in a mentoring role will hone

your communication skills. As you approach the sessions with an open mind you can get the

full benefit of the insight you get from seeing another person’s point of view. In this case your

mentee may well be younger and have less experience of the workplace but you can still

benefit from seeing another person’s view point. We all get deeply involved in the work we

do and often get drawn in so deep that we forget to take time out to reflect. Your mentoring

sessions will also give opportunities for you to be reflective. The way you approach the

mentoring sessions will harness the reflective state of mind. You can effectively apply this

reflective state to your own development and the development of your role or your business.

Your own success as a mentor, may well lead you to seek a mentoring experience for

yourself, where you can be the mentee benefitting from an empowering engagement with

another experienced mentor. There is little doubt that as you move forward in your mentoring

relationship with the young people, your views will be challenged. Don’t be surprised if you

gain valuable insights into the day to day pressures of being young and unemployed.

For your mentee

Your mentee will also gain from increased self-awareness. It may well be that there have

been few invitations and opportunities for them to be reflective and to take a look at their

own thinking patterns. It may be a little difficult for some and may well be a source of anxiety.

With some patience on your part, looking within, exploring patterns, ideas and responses

can become a very powerful tool for their development. You should not under estimate the

opportunity that you provide as a skilled active listener. There is real and lasting value in

engagement with someone who can listen attentively and ask timely, thoughtful questions

that sensitively challenge our pre conditioned approaches and thinking. The refection and

the exposure to a different perspective can create a major shift in thinking. It will often in the

long run challenge beliefs and values. It may be the catalyst to significant and positive

change. When you have built rapport you will be able to give objective and focussed

feedback. It may be that constructive positive feedback has been an all too rare experience.

Your supportive comments and your belief in them as individuals are powerful beyond

Page 12: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

12 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

measure. Young people can sometimes be a little wary at first, gauging whether the belief

you have in them is genuine. But once the trust is there and they can recognise your belief in

them is authentic it can be a springboard to find new levels of self-belief and eventually a

stronger independent confidence.

Key Skills of Being a Mentor

Active Listening

This is the ability to listen actively with full attention. . It demonstrates sincerity, and that

nothing is being assumed or taken for granted. It applies the skill of suspending for a time

one's own frame of reference, suspending judgment and avoiding other internal mental

activities. It is proactive, accountable and professional. When interacting people often "wait

to speak" rather than 'hear' attentively. They might also be distracted. Active listening is a

structured way of listening and responding to others

The active listening technique requires the listener to feed back what they hear to the speaker, by way of re-stating, summarising or paraphrasing what he has heard in his own words, to confirm what he has heard. The aim is to confirm the understanding of both parties.

When engaged in "active listening" one may include a range of dimensions including interpreting body language, choice of words and tone of voice. In the context of the mentoring relationship, active listening is crucial as it leads to successful open communication, the establishment of common ground between two people, working toward a shared goal, usually the development of the mentee.

Building Rapport

This is an essential element in initiating and maintaining an effective relationship of mutual

understanding and trust with the mentee. Mentors can establish rapport with their mentees

by using effective interpersonal communication skills to actively building trust, and

demonstrate they will maintain confidentiality. In the context of mentoring, good

communication helps to develop a positive working relationship between the mentor and

mentee.

When rapport is established the mentee will feel respected and understood, and will be

motivated to listen and learn from the mentoring relationship. Mentees learn best from

mentors who are sincere, approachable, and non-judgmental. Fundamentals of feedback in

building rapport for the mentor are body language; like open or relaxed posture, nodding or

other affirmation, facial expressions, eye contact and to a limited extent, by words. It is

important for mentors to remember that they are communicating to mentees when they are

speaking and when they are not speaking. In fact according to Albert Mehrabian, (Non-

verbal communication 1971 see page 17 on communication) up to 93% of human

communication is nonverbal. There are more details on how to build rapport on page 16.

Page 13: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

13 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Get to know your mentee

Ask about them. Show your interest. Gradually find out what motivates them, what they get

enthusiastic about. What they find easy and difficult. Remember to go easy at first and to

maintain a level of comfort in the conversation. This may not initially be a direct conversation

about work and the workplace but you are looking to build a foundation of trust and rapport.

Using your understanding of body language, and listening skills you can let them know by

your whole approach that you believe in them and value them. You may not share their

values, beliefs and approach but you can understand and appreciate them in the context of

their life.

Be open and honest

Share the challenges and difficulties that you face and have experienced. Be explicit about

how tough it is or was. You can then be supportive in sharing some of the strategies and

approaches that you adopt to tackle obstacles and meet the challenges of the work place.

The responsibility to make choices is always theirs but it will be useful for them to reflect on

different approaches that they might not have come across before.

Recognising permission to challenge

As the relationship develops, trust and rapport will grow; you will be able to offer increasing

levels of challenge and will be able to ask those difficult questions that no one else has

asked. You may be given unconscious permission from your mentee to ask the questions

that they have been reluctant to ask themselves. It will be a subtle acknowledgement that

can be read as you become sensitive and aware to their subtle body language clues and

their talk in response to your questions. You will know when the trust and rapport is there

and you can try to push a little. Maintain a high level of awareness and carefully monitor their

reactions and responses. You may find it helpful to ask your mentee for ‘permission’ to

challenge and give feedback, thereby making this as open a mentoring relationship as

possible.

Questioning

Asking the right questions at the right time is at the heart of a successful mentoring

relationship. Questions can be open or closed. A closed question will usually receive a short

yes or no answer, for example “ Did you have a good journey?” will invite a short yes or no

answer. On the other hand open questions will invite reflection, exploration and longer

answers. For example; “Tell me about the current challenges you experience in applying for

jobs?” is more likely to invite a thoughtful response. These open questions will allow the

mentee to be more descriptive and to add more detail. It is also a good way of exploring

feelings, and motivations around an issue. It is worth bearing in mind that an appropriate,

open well timed question will almost always generate thought and reflection. The mentee

may fall silent for a little while as mental exploration takes place. The mentor should be

Page 14: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

14 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

mindful of this and be ready to respect and observe the gap in verbal communication that

occurs as the mentee develops a response. Skilful questioning needs to be matched by

careful listening so that you understand what people really mean with their answers. This in

turn leads in productive directions with further questions and before you know it the

conversation is rolling naturally, positively and productively. Remember that body language

will also play an important part in asking your questions and attentively listening to the

responses. Eye contact, nodding or positive gestures etc See page 21 for some examples of

useful questions.

Generate critical reflection

We learn in different ways. Some of the basic ways that you will recognise are reading,

hearing, discussing and doing but research also shows that there are significant benefits to

being able to engage in critical reflection. This can be encouraged by the thoughtful

questioning of the mentor the invitation to reflect in an objective critical way is of great

benefit to the mentee. Once rapport is built and a level of trust is established you will be

given the unspoken permission from the mentee to move oward examining their

assumptions around a particular area of their life and performance. You will, with thoughtful

questions invite them to challenge some of their beliefs and values about their life and the

way they act. When a question encourages reflection it leads to higher-order thinking. In turn

reflection and higher order thinking will make it much more likely that they apply their

learning and start to use reflective and critical thinking to inform their future planning. Once

they can see the benefits of this approach it can lead to them adopting the cycle of reflective

thinking to other areas of their life and work (see also the reflective cycle diagram on page

20). The mentor’s skill in Questioning strengthens this approach but it can also be useful for

the mentee to develop a reflective journal. This encourages the habit of reflective thinking

and can be a part of feedback for the mentoring sessions.

“Trust is the highest form of human motivation. It brings out the very best in people.”

Stephen Covey

Page 15: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

15 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Challenge

Challenge and support

It is widely recognised that the mentoring relationship is most effective when a balance is

struck between challenge and support. The simple diagram that follows illustrates how that a

healthy balance of the two can lead to continuing personal growth;

With a low level or no challenge and support the mentee is likely to remain static in their current position.

If a mentor challenges the mentee but doesn’t provide support in the form of guidance, direction or even emotional encouragement, the mentee can slip backward to familiar practices due to frustration, anxiety or loss of confidence.

Similarly, if a mentor fully supports a mentee without posing significant and relevant challenges, it reinforces what the mentee is currently doing rather than encouraging the development of new knowledge and skills.

By consistently challenging your mentee toward new goals, along with providing or pointing toward a support system to achieve those goals, a mentor keeps the mentee on the path toward growth.

Support

Slipping back Growth

Static

Reinforces

current

position

Page 16: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

16 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Giving and Receiving Feedback

The giving and receiving of feedback is an essential ingredient in effective mentoring. It

forms a key part of the confidential, developmental conversation between the mentor and the

mentee. It is easier to deliver feedback as a face to face experience. It is possible at a

distance but requires a high level of skill and an established rapport. Clarity of understanding

is paramount and your decisions around giving and receiving should be driven by the need

to ensure this. From this perspective, email feedback is risky as there is a real danger of

misunderstanding. The overall purpose is to be helpful, not to criticise. It is worth

considering that all our performance improvements start with us receiving information about

the impact our behaviours have on others. The extent to which we can receive and respond

to feedback will be a significant factor in our personal growth. Feedback can be challenging

to the recipient and to some extent this kind of feedback is the type that leads to most

consistent growth as shown in figure 2 on page 14. However, we also need to know when

we have done well and it is useful and helpful to recognise and celebrate achievement.

There is a simple and very effective psychological approach that will always help to facilitate

a good level of listening. The simple principle is to offer something positive and celebratory

initially then to follow up with something challenging. The initial comment serves to attract

the maximum attention from the mentee and then in the receptive and attuned state the

listener is better able to take in the challenge and less likely to see it in a threatening way.

For example; “Brilliant outcome, Eleanor, your determination has really paid off. The

changes you have made in following up your job applications with a phone call have got you

two interviews and one or maybe both may lead to job offers.” What are you going to work

on so as to be ready for the interviews?”

Here are few things to consider that will make giving and receiving feedback more effective;

It is best to stick to factual observations that can be backed up with specific detail, concrete

examples really help. Try to avoid emotional responses of inflammatory remarks. Focus on

the issue or challenge. Your role is to be objective so keep you self-awareness active so you

can avoid judging or criticising even on a mental level. Good mentors encourage others but

are clear and direct in giving challenging feedback. A really valuable skill is to be able judge

the timing and the state of the recipient to ensure the feedback is delivered into a receptive

moment for maximum effect. You will need to measure the improvements in performance

and behaviour and be able to make the adjustments as you go. Documenting conversations

and recording specific goals, targets and aspirations is very valuable and worth doing. This

recording even in note form significantly improves outcomes.

When you are receiving feedback listen attentively with engaging, open body language,

nodding the head and a comfortable level of eye contact etc. Ask if you need to clarify

information. Keep emotional responses in check and recognise if you are becoming

defensive. Stay with the situation and not with your reaction if you want to get the most out of

the feedback. Remember the more we open ourselves up to feedback the more we start to

Page 17: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

17 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

understand the impact we have on others and the world around us and the more likely we

are to grow and become more effective at whatever it is we chose to do.

Diamond Ranking the Mentoring Skills

Page 18: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

18 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

What is the most reliable component for gaining meaning in face to face

communication?

Words % Tone of voice %

Body language %

The original research that highlighted the dominance of these three main elements in face to face communication was undertaken in 1971 by Albert Mehrabian

From his studies Mehrabian found that in terms of true meaning behind the message; words account for 7%, tone of voice accounts for 38% and body language accounts for 55%.

Mehrabian’s research also concluded that these percentages were most relevant when dealing with communications around feelings and attitudes. He also stated that the figures which show a higher percentage meaning from body language were most applicable when there was a clear mismatch between the words chosen and the tone of voice and body language. What we should take from this as mentors is that when we see or feel a clear ambiguity between the words of our mentee and their tone of voice and body language we should look more closely at the body language for the real meaning of the communication.

There are some important factors to consider when we look to body language to inform our communication and relationship with the mentee; Consider the context of the situation. For example if someone is genuinely cold they hunch up and wrap their arms tightly around themselves. If however they adopt a similar position in an ambient office, you may start to consider if they are in some form of distress. Alone this is a pointer to look for further clues. It is prudent to seek a triangulation of signals, a gesture cluster, that evidence a resistance to the current communication. Look for congruence between the spoken words, the tone of voice and the body language to feel secure that the communication is true. Understanding your mentee and their base line body language will inform your reading of the body language. You may see arm folding and lack of eye contact as a positive response when your previous sessions have been marked by your mentee being unable to stay in the room with the conversation! As part of your own professional development, try to find out about any cultural differences in body language. For example eye contact: most European cultures regard eye contact (not staring) as positive but some Asian and African cultures regard eye contact as confrontational and dis-respectful. Information like this will inform your communications as you develop in the role.

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19 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

The diagram below helps us to recognize the complexity of our personalities. It reminds us that the challenge of mentoring asks us to control our assumptions and to hold back our often automatic judgments that we make about others based on how they look or speak. When we meet in any meaningful conversation we do well to remember that we are all unique, wonderfully different in our approach to life. Our common ground is that we are human beings all facing challenges and opportunities, all wanting to express the sum total of who we are as we go about our lives.

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20 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

The Mentoring Process

1. _____

2. _____

3. _____

4. _____

5. _____

6. _____

7. _____

8. _____

9. _____

10. _____

11. _____

12. _____

13. _____

14. _____

15. _____

.

True or False

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21 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

The Cycle of Reflective Practice

Firstly encourage the mentee to reflect on persoanl experience. You can begin by exploring

areas of interest, concern and challenge. This is the stage of identifying a topic area and

then onto more focussed goals (this is the T and the G in the TGROW model shown below

on page 24). Once a few goals are agreed you can move forward to reflect in more detail

around the goals.

The reflection, when successful will lead to insights and learning that have emerged from

the exploration of the reality of the current situation (this is the R for reality in the TGROW

model). Once the reality has been explored and some insights and learning are establsihed

you are ready to move the mentee toward exploration and development othe possibilities for

next steps based on the insights gained (this is the O for exploration of the options in the

TGROW model).

The last section is the planning of future actions (the W for What will be done in the TGROW

model). The planning stage should facilitate a fairly robust check of the consequences of

actions that may be chosen and taken. If they chose a particular action, it is good practice to

set those actions in a time frame that is achievable.

Often people will use the SMART (Specific, Measureable, Achieveble. Realistic, Time

bound) technique to check goals. The mentee will then go away to take the actions, to try

out the goals or steps linked to the insights they gained in the session. It can be useful to do

some follow up and to check how things are progressing between meetings. The next

meeting starts from reflective process beginning again. The focus is the experience just

gained, richly fed by the mentor from the feedback that the endevours will have yielded.

Plan Insight

and learning

Reflection Experience

Plan

Insight and

learning Reflection Experience

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22 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

A Helpful Collection of Popular Questions

What do think will be the most useful/helpful issue we can focus on in today’s

session?

What is on your mind today?

What has gone well so far this week/today?

Describe a situation that has excited you/challenged you this week/today?

Tell me what you have been involved in that has built your confidence/caused you

anxiety?

What are the things that you can control?

What are the strengths and resources that you have to tackle this?

If the Albert Einstein/wise counsellor/you at your best without any limitations had to

find the solution, what would it be? (Invites exploration of unconscious wisdom and

positive role models)

If you could change one thing what would it be and why..?

What do you know about this situation? (explores the facts, separate from

assumptions, beliefs etc)

What have you learned from this experience?

What will you change?

What are the next steps you can take?

If you could create the future you, what would that be?( next 3 weeks/months/years)

What is your most powerful motivation?

What can you do to make this easier/more exciting/more motivating?

How can you measure/check your progress to the goal/s you have set?

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23 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Models of Support for Mentoring

Using SWOT analysis

Strengths

I can understand and use IT, I am always

smartly dressed and enthusiastic to learn

Weaknesses

I find it hard to engage in friendly chat. I am

often nervous with new people

Opportunities

My new boss has offered me a few days in a

busy IT office

Threats

I have just lost my flat and I am worried

about where I will live

Page 24: GM Commitment Mentoring handbook pd

24 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

The TGROW Model

*This model adapted from John Fowler 2012

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25 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

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26 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Using MIAR

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27 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Ideas Motivation

Ability Resources

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28 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

I Want You to Be Like Me…

The world of the employed The world of the unemployed

Ways of behaving traditional accepted, norms understood and conformed to as and when required

Codes of conduct and ethics may not match world of work, limited understanding of the norms and values of the work place.

Accepted informal/formal agreed dress code is adhered to

Casual clothing/fashion/branded clothes are valued buying work clothes could be an issue

Language and subtle respect for seniors hierarchy is accepted and practiced, eye contact, confident and clear communication

May not have skills and understanding to demonstrate respect and subtle responses to work hierarchy. May have low self-esteem and as a consequence word choice (vocab) and voice projection may be limited or in some cases loud and excitable because of stress of new experience and environment. May use inappropriate language due to engrained habit, no awareness of different language for different environments

Arrival on time is expected May have been operating a nocturnal or unstructured time frame

I only use my personal mobile phone at lunch and breaks

Feel ok to use my mobile whenever, it keeps me in touch with everyone. I can access my Facebook and twitter feed. It is a status symbol and my life line…

Focus, engagement and on task behaviour are expected

Initially may have limited attention/interest/concentration in work tasks, may need lots of encouragement/reassurance and clear constructive feedback around task engagement and completion (small steps)

Understanding of strengths, weaknesses and CPD - career pathway

Limited or no awareness of strengths, weaknesses and CPD, no career pathway

Employees motivated by the opportunities of the work place – knowledge, skills and understanding are seen as relevant, valuable and worth persevering for…

Indifferent to/ unable to recognise opportunities for development. Can’t see or buy into the long game (persevering to establish a skill or gain understanding) cannot defer gratification

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29 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Safeguarding and Where to meet

As detailed in your training session, you should only meet in public/business spaces.

Consideration should also be given to the following:

Can my mentee easily get to the venue?

Will we be able to comfortably talk and be heard?

Does the venue meet the criteria of the Safeguarding policy (at the back of this

handbook)

Code of Conduct

We are voluntarily entering into a mentoring relationship that we expect will benefit both

parties. The Code of Conduct agreement sets the parameters of the relationship. As a

prospective mentor, you will have signed your Code of Conduct as part of your training

session.

You must ensure that your mentee signs a copy of this at your first meeting and that it is

returned to [email protected]

Do I need to take notes or keep a record of our mentoring sessions?

Record keeping and note taking are a vital part of this mentoring programme but should not

be something that is overly time consuming or distracts from the purpose of your meeting.

Most mentors take notes to help them remember key the points of the discussions. It is

useful if the mentee can make some notes too, especially the areas and goals they are

working toward.

You are required to complete a monthly contact sheet which should be signed by both you

and your mentee. If for any reason, you are unable to obtain the signature of your mentee,

the form should still be completed and returned to

[email protected]

It is worth bearing in mind the thoughts and feelings of the young person you are working

with. It may be that a formal approach, with you scribbling notes may cause them anxiety.

You need to be very clear about confidentiality and it is often best to be explicit and explain

that the notes are to help you to remember and are not to produce some sort of report on

them.

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30 New Economy: Prospective Mentor Information This mentoring programme is part of the GM Commitment to Youth Employment. If you would like to find out more about the commitment, visit our website at: www.neweconomymanchester.com

Instructions for your first mentoring Session

Give mentee handbook (you can even talk through it with them)

Ensure mentee signs the code of conduct (return completed form to [email protected])

Complete contact record

Make arrangements for next meeting

Useful Services and help lines

In the event that your mentee discloses any issues that are not appropriate for you to discuss we have gathered a list of services that you refer your mentee to. You must remember that it is not your role to be a counsellor but a mentor in relation to employment related skills.

Alcoholics Anonymous 0845 769 75 55 Frank 0800 77 66 00 Mind 0300 123 33 93 Carers Direct 0808 802 02 02 Lifeline 0808 808 21 21 NSPCC 0800 800 50 00 Samaritans 0845 790 60 60

For more information please contact us.

Email:[email protected]

Follow us on twitter: @Mentor4GM