Get me rewrite: editing and revising

Tell me a story: narrative journalism

July 25, 2006

What’s new and what’s news

Grading, assignments and where we are thus far

Workshop of draft profiles

Tips on editing, revising and writing at deadline

Narrative journalism: the elements

And … if there’s time … beats!

Draft profile workshopExcerpts from 11 stories

Get me rewrite: tips for editing, revising and polishing your work

…even at deadline

Tip 1:Print your story, then read the hard copy … slowly.

Errors, awkward sentences and style glitches are more visible on paper than on a computer screen.

Portland Oregonian coach Jack Hart advocates reading the copy backwards. You’re forced to see each word in sequence and your mind can’t correct for you.

Read your story out loud. You’ll hear awkward phrases, too long sentences, dangling words. If you stumble, so will the reader.

One writing coach refers to a final self-edit as a “search and destroy” mission. Look for small things: unintentional echoes, repeated phrases, unanswered questions, dangling phrases.

Another writer suggests checking for words you know you overuse. Check, too, for “words spelled right but used wrong.”

Examples: hear, here; threw, through; there, their; roll, role; pare, pair.

Check for misplaced apostrophes, too.

Tip 2:Check your verbs.

Active verbs call attention to the action.They reveal the actors and inject energy.

Passive verbs focus on the receiver of the action. They emphasize the receiver.

The forms of “to be” link words and ideas.They contain no action.

Make sure your verbs are doing the right work.

Tip 3:Eliminate prepositional phrases.

Hart notes they often contain little words that take up space and bog down the flow of a story.

While you’re at it, eliminate “that” in most cases, and use “to,” rather than “in order to.”

The result will be crisper, leaner sentences.

Tip 4:Make sure every sentence furthers the story.

Anecdotes, background information, quotes and detail that do not move the story forward should be cut, no matter how wonderful they are.

You should be able to pare at least 10 percent of the words from your story

If you must use the information, consider pulling it out of the story and creating a “sidebar” story to go with the main. That’s one way to “save the babies.”

Tip 5: Make sure the flow is smooth.

Check the transitions between thoughts, paragraphs and sections. Each should flow smoothly into the next. If there are gaps, add a transition word or sentence.

Hart suggests looking for places to use paragraph hooks, “words that link material by showing up in the last sentence of one paragraph and the first sentence of the next.” Poets often use this trick to link stanzas.

Tip 6: Listen to the rhythm.

When you read aloud, listen to the cadence of the sentences. Listen for dangling phrases, awkward clauses, sentences that go on and on and on.

Hart suggests listening for places to use alliteration and other literary techniques to create patterns.

Listen for words that add subtle color to the story. Think of Jeanne’s example of sprinkling in musical terms when writing about a musician or composer.

Tip 7: Eliminate jargon, acronyms and buzz words.

Use simple words, concrete examples, clear metaphors.

Define your terms, says Hart. Make sure people understand what you are saying.

If you must use an acronym, use it sparingly. Strings of capital letters are like speed bumps in a story.

Think of how you would explain it to your mother.

Tip 8: Accentuate the positive.

This is a Hart favorite, and it does not mean load on the bias.

Hart suggests you look for negative words in your copy. “Figure out a way to say what it is, rather than what it isn’t.” He argues “positive forms are clearer and more direct than their negative counterparts.”

Tip 9: Look for generalizations, assumptions and opinions.

Specific statements are better than generalizations.

Any assumptions should be attributed to someone other than you, unless you are writing a personal column.

Ditto opinions.

Tip 10: Look for “fault line” words.

These are words that unintentionally perpetuate division and/or stereotype based on five key areas of social tension: race/ethnicity, economic class, gender/sexual orientation, age and geography.

Make sure you are not labeling subjects and sources.

Look carefully at descriptions to make sure they are accurate and do not perpetuate stereotypic images or biases.

Tip 11: Fact check everything.

Verify addresses, telephone numbers, titles, names, ages.

Do the math! Make sure sums add up. Check those decimal points and commas.

Seattle Times editor David Boardman says, “A story is only as strong as its weakest link.”

If you can’t verify something, leave it out.

Tip 12: Remember the iceberg.

Ernest Hemingway likened good writing to an iceberg -- only an eighth of it shows.

The Poynter Institute’s Chip Scanlan says writers want more to show, to the peril of their stories. “Too often, we sink our stories with information we can't bear to part with, even if it's not relevant.”

Pare your story to its essentials.

Tell me a story: narrative journalism

Nieman Narrative Journalism director Mark Kramer often is asked to define narrative journalism, or narrative nonfiction.

“At a minimum, narrative denotes writing with

(A) set scenes,

(B) characters,

(C) action that unfolds over time,

(D) the interpretable voice of a teller -- a narrator with a somewhat discernable personality -- and

(E) some sense of relationship to the reader, viewer or listener, which, all arrayed,

(F) lead the audience toward a point, realization or destination.”

Writing coach Rebecca Allen says,

“A narrative is a story that has a beginning, middle and end. It engages the reader's mind and heart. It shows actors moving across its stage, revealing their characters through their actions and their speech.

“At its heart, a narrative contains a mystery or a question -- something that compels the reader to keep reading and find out what happens.

“Newspaper narratives are also entirely true and factual in every detail.”

Courtesy of Nieman Narrative Digest

Roy Peter Clark’s Writing Tool #20 focuses on finding narrative moments while reporting and interviewing. These are the elements that turn stories into “Stories.”

“Stories create experience. … Stories transport the reader, crossing the boundaries of time, space and imagination. … The story puts us there.”

“Stories, argues Jon Franklin, require rising and falling action, complication, points of insight, and resolution.”

Almost every story arc follows a complication/conflict resolution sequence, though there may be several developments before the climactic complication.

More from Franklin, taken from an interview on the Nieman Narrative Digest Web site. Franklin notes that narrative journalists report their stories differently from other reporters.

“You don't focus on quotes, you focus on actions. When you sit down to do your structure, you try to find your story. You're looking for human beings instead of news value, and your story is an experience. The reason we read stories is because we have evolved a wish to understand the world around us. The way we do that best is through our own experiences, but if we read a good story it's like living another person's life without taking the risk or the time. To live a story may take two years, but to read it takes maybe fifteen minutes. So you look for stories.”

Borrowing from Seattle writer Richard Zahler, here’s how the five W and H become literary elements:

Who becomes Character. What becomes Action. (What happened.) Where becomes Setting. When becomes Chronology. Why becomes Motivation or Causality. How becomes Process (How it happened.)

Clark and other writing coaches and scholars note stories need a central question, especially if they are written in narrative format.

Writer Tom French calls this theme “the engine.” Narrative stories, especially long ones, may have smaller engines propelling each section, but all link to the main engine that drives the story from start to conclusion.

Classic French examples: Will Dorothy make it back to Kansas? From the Wizard of Oz.Who will the shark eat next? From Jaws.

In Mrs. Kelly’s Monster, the engine is: will the doctor reach the monster in time to save Mrs. Kelly?

Beats, continued

A review:

Geographical: The place where business is conducted: A specific city hall, courthouse police department

Topical: an area of focus: business, education, social services, politics

The flavors of beats often blend, especially at small to mid-sizednews organizations or across broad issues and breaking news.

For almost every beat:

Learn the system.Learn the language and terms.Get to know the people.Develop sources.Be persistent.Be prepared.Read everything you can: laws, other news coverage, reports.Ask questions. Look for who has the most to gain, the most to lose, with each decision or action.

John Sweeney advocates asking the following questions of every beat story, especially those dealing with governments, agencies, business and social issues:

1. What is the news? 2. What is new about it? 3. Why is it news? 4. Who is it news to? 5. Will they know it is news? 6. What will it take to get them to read it?

More questions from Notrain-nogain on considering readers when writing:

What kind of person is likely to be intensely interested in the topic?

Consider who counts on your newspaper for this kind of story.

What information do you need to provide to meet this person's needs?

What kind of person has a passing interest in the story?

What sort of information is likely to catch and hold this person's interest?

Who is the long-shot reader who doesn't usually read this kind of story? Do you have some information that can draw this reader in?

Can you broaden the interest to attract this reader?

Tips on how to be a more enterprising beat reporter from writing coach and editor Bob Baker’s www.newsthinking.com (May 13, 2002 column)

• Anticipate when your beat fits into upcoming news events.

• Use your beat to illustrate a microcosm of a national issue.

• Subcultures are fascinating story vehicles. Use your beat to find them.

•Use the "news analysis" sensibility to exploit your expertise. How can you explain or illuminate the issue/subject for your readers?

• Keep track of casual anecdotes. There might be a story there.

• Use your beat to document changing demographics.

• Note how new laws affect your beat.

• Look for profile opportunities that connect the dots.

Tips on making beat stories relevant, from Omaha World-Herald editor and coach Steve Buttry

(from Notrain-nogain.org)

Write to and for readers, not editors.

Make your stories useful and relevant.

Explain in reader-sized terms

Explain impact.Find real people.

Put examples in context.

Use diverse examples.

Dig for numbers if they are needed.

Use literary elements when you can to strengthen your story:

Establish and develop characters.

Put the reader there.

Unfold the plot.

Identify the conflict.

Establish important themes.

Let the reader listen.

Use the senses.

The Poynter Institute’s Chip Scanlan polled prize-winning beat reporters in 2002 to find out how they managed their work. They all reported similar strategies: be everywhere; know the beat as well as, or better, than your sources; demand respect from your sources. Beat reporters must also define their beats and avoid the temptation to put on “beat blinders.”

“Probably the hardest part of being a beat reporter is staying on top of things and dealing with sources you have to return to every day, even if you’ve written a story they don’t like. Unlike other journalists, beat reporters every day face the challenge of encountering sources who may not be pleased with their reporting.”

More from Chip:

“Beat reporting takes courage, discipline and judgment, knowing which story has to be written today and which can be put off. It requires teamwork with an editor and other reporters. Working quickly: getting to sources and obtaining information and then writing on deadline stories that give the news and why it matters.”

More beats reporters cover at most newspapers

Emergency services: Police, fire, emergency responders, state patrol, other law enforcement, prisons and jails

Includes:Crime, accidents, fires

High reader interest in stories on this beat.

For this beat, accuracy is CRUCIAL. Make sure of all names, addresses and occupations.

Need to know the laws.

Need to know the arrest process, the types and degrees of crime.

Other beats:

CourtsDistrict, superior and federal.

Business, consumer reportingCan be subdivided by field or industry and in some cases,

by company.

Science, environmentThis, too, can be subdivided, though the two most often

are linked.

Energy, transportationAnother commonly linked combination.

Health, medicineThis has become an important beat that intersects with

business and science. In some cases, this is divided by health specialty or geographic coverage area, or by institution.

Social servicesThis is a catch-all, hectic and sometimes heartbreaking

beat. Here you find reporters covering agencies serving the public, especially the disadvantaged and disenfranchised. The elderly, the impoverished, the mentally ill, the abandoned are covered here. So, too, are nonprofit organizations and community service organizations.

Tribes, immigration, diversityUnderstanding laws, mores and customs is essential.

ARTS BEATS

Must know the genres, history, terminology, trends, people, demographics, money, legal and cultural issues

MusicTheatreDanceVisual artsTelevisionMovies: See the Tony Scott New York Times column on critics.

Culture/Fashion/Style