Generatormagazine

December 2013

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Generator Staff

Music EditorRob Whitaker

President, Editor-in-ChiefJohn Paul Welsh

Secretary, Television EditorRebecca Murphy

Video Games EditorJoe Corato

Faculty AdvisorDr. Richard Grinnell

Treasurer, Movies EditorAndrea Capobianco

Vice President, Literature EditorSophia Todeasa

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Table of Contents

LITERATUREThe House of Hades Review, page 4The newest entry in the Heroes of Olympus series, a branch of the Percy Jacksonfranchise, is refreshing even from a college student’s perspective... by Meghan Jones

OTHERZorona Hookah Bar Review, page 9The Zorona Hookah Bar in Poughkeepsie is a great place to get together and smoke your cares away... by Juliana Perciavalle

On YOLOing, page 10A fascinating op-ed about the old and new trends of YOLOing... by “Stanley the Swag Shark”

The New Hannukah, page 12An open letter to the Jewish people about how to enhance the reputation for their winter holiday... by Joe Kuhn

MUSICReflektor Album Review, page 3Arcade Fire’s newest album is mysterious and spiritual, and one of the best of the year... by John Paul Welsh

TELEVISIONThe Limping Dead, page 5A review of The Walking Dead’s fourth season, which is off to a dull start... by John Paul Welsh

Return of the High FunctioningSociopath, page 6The hit BBC show Sherlock returns in January for a long-awaited third season... by Andrea Capobianco

VIDEO GAMES AND TECHNOLOGYPlaystation 4 Review, page 7-8At the dawn of the next generation of gaming consoles, the PS4 comes out on top... by Joe Corato

PHOTO CONTRIBUTIONSFront and back cover: Andrea CapobiancoPage 3: MjaMes1408, posted to FlickrPage 4: Meghan JonesPage 6: bellaphon, posted to WikipediaPage 7-8: Joe CoratoPage 9: Juliana PerciavallePage 11: *Sally M*, paparutzi, and fsse8info, posted to FlickrPage 12: public domain, posted to WikipediaPage 13-14: Anthony Barranco

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Reflektor, the new double-disc Arcade Fire album, began its life shrouded in mys-tery. The band advertised for it with cryptic street art, there was a sort-of-secret concert on release night, and the band performed the first single on late night shows as a fake band called The Reflektors. But now that the album is out, and it can be judged on content and quality instead of reputation and speculation, I can honestly say that it surpasses all my expectations. Arcade Fire is a very unique band. Their music is usually earnest and worried, and each album has some sort of theme. Their debut, Funeral, creates in a universe where, in the middle of a great blizzard, every-body’s parents disappear, and the kids run the town. Neon Bible, while not story-driv-en, makes many allusions to deep, dark bodies of water, and sounds murky while also having its fair share of bombast. The Suburbs, which won the Album of the Year Grammy in 2010, chronicles the alienation and nostalgia felt by those who leave the sterile suburbs for the exciting city, only to regret their decision in the end. With Reflektor, the theme is harder to identify. Musically, the songs are more

Reflektor Album ReviewBy John Paul Welshdiverse than on any previous AF album. The title track, “It’s Never Over (Oh Or-pheus),” and “Afterlife” are groovy and danceable, verging on disco. “We Exist,” “Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice),” “Porno,” and the 11-minute closer “Supersymmetry” are somber and reflective. Almost all of the songs are six minutes or longer, with tempo changes and genre-blending spread unpredictably throughout the album. Some songs sound very much like AF’s previous catalog (“You Already Know” in particu-lar), while many others are completely new explorations for the band. The album also lacks an obvious cohe-sive strand of lyrical connectedness. Some songs clearly express disillusionment with the current generation (“We Exist,” “Nor-mal Person,” “Porno”), but others are not so clear-cut. The references to Greek my-thology in the second half of the album may or may not be directed towards the actual characters they mention, and “Flash-bulb Eyes” can either be interpreted as ad-miring or fearful of the person the singer is addressing. After all, Arcade Fire are no strangers to symbolic lyrical content. However, from what I can tell, one theme

that seems to tie all the songs together is final judgment and heaven. Many of the songs refer to “others” who insist that they know the true way to heaven, and obsess over the afterlife and how to get there. The track at the end of the first disc, “Joan of Arc” represents accepting an alternative god, but ironically alludes to a famous Christian martyr as the object of the narra-tor’s adoration. The narrator of the songs, and the band itself, criticizes these “other” people for their arrogance, but also worries about whether they will get into the heaven they keep hearing about. Whether they accept or reject this final offer is unknown, but it makes the listener wonder about how they will be judged in the end, or whether it even matters what others think about them at all. Arcade Fire is one of my favorite bands, and their newest album Reflektor is their best material since their debut. It is a bril-liantly structured record, with songs that are catchy on first listen but deep and thought-ful under the surface. I highly recommend it for both longtime fans and newcomers.

Photo by Flickr/MjaMes1408

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All right, I admit it: I am one of those college students who still reads all of the new Percy Jackson books as soon as they come out, and I spent most of my mid-semester break reading The House of Hades, the latest installment in the Greek-and-Roman-mytholo-gy-based saga. If you want to get technical, it’s not actually part of the Percy Jackson series; it’s part of the Heroes of Olympus series. For those of you who have not kept as up-to-date with your chil-dren’s literature as I have, Rick Rior-dan completed the five-book Percy Jackson series in 2009, ending with Percy, Annabeth and friends defeat-ing the Titans, and is now producing a follow-up series, The Heroes of Olympus. This series, instead of be-ing narrated in first-person by Percy, is narrated in third-person, rotating between the points of view of seven different demigods. At first, when I heard that a new series was coming out, I was skeptical, especially when I realized that it was going to be told from the points of view of some completely new characters; but Riordan has made it work, balancing out likeable, relatable new charac-ters like Hazel, Frank and Leo with familiar faces like Annabeth and Percy. I thought the latest installment, released on October 8th, was one of the better ones in the new series. One thing I especially liked was how Riordan tied it back to the original series, mak-ing Bob the Titan (a character Percy and Annabeth briefly met in The Demigod Files) a central character in House of Hades and referencing several monsters from the old series in the scene with

The House of Hades ReviewBy Meghan Jones

the arai spirits. Sometimes, despite the familiar characters, it slips my mind that this new series is connected with the old one, and this book did a great job of bringing readers full circle.

By far the most surprising part of the book, for me, was the revelation that Nico had a crush on Percy, not An-nabeth. Bringing up the issue of sexual orientation in a children’s book was a brave move by Riordan and I don’t think all of his fans are going to like it, but I liked the twist simply because of

how unexpected it was. In addition, the scene in which it was introduced was very well done, emotional and honest without making a huge deal of it. This, however, was the only thing in

the book that really surprised me; everything else, I thought, was pretty predictable, especially the ending. Annabeth and Percy made it out of Tartarus and successfully closed the Doors of Death, and all of the demigods made it through without too much trouble, or so it seemed to me. Though there were plenty of tense moments, they were all resolved pretty quickly and easily. Of course, here I stop to remind myself that this is a chil-dren’s series, and so I shouldn’t be anticipating any horrific trage-dies or anything. And of course, I wasn’t disappointed by the happy ending! As he does in all of the other installments, Riordan continues to combine action, humor, and heartfelt moments in just the right doses. Call me sappy, but some of the characters’ stories do tug at my heartstrings a little. Riordan portrays feelings like loneliness, insecurity, guilt, inadequacy, and all those other feelings everyone feels around that age with a touching honesty. Add to that monsters, vengeful earth goddesses, epic

sword battles, and of course some chuckle-worthy moments, and you’ve got an overall pretty good read—maybe even for a college student.

(Warning: spoilers ahead!)

Photo by Meghan Jones

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AMC’s The Walking Dead began its fourth season this October, and for the first time since the premiere season I am watching it every Sunday night as the ep-isodes air. After the outstanding season 3, the show had a lot of expectations to meet. However, so far this season has been very underwhelming. The season begins with an episode de-signed to catch the audience up on what the gang has been up to since the end of the third season. Ever since the confronta-tion with The Governor, Rick and his team have collected a lot more people, essential-ly doubling the population of the prison in which they have created a home. In this premiere episode, we wander around and witness the interactions between new and old characters. The tone of the fourth season as set by this episode is pretty stale. Once some ex-citement finally happens, in the form of a pretty excellent zombie attack in a conve-nience store, the viewer wonders why we just spent 35 minutes of an episode catch-ing up on characters we know and love, and watching them interact with people we still don’t care about yet. One of the younger men dies, and Beth, the younger farmer’s daughter, who was seen earlier flirting with the boy, goes over to a chalkboard and sets her “Days without an Accident” sign back to zero with cold calculation. She’s tired of crying, even though she’s upset, and that kind of dry, resigned attitude towards death echoes throughout this fourth season. The primary development of the first half of this season is that a disease seems to be going around in the prison that kills quickly and turns the deceased into a zom-bie even faster. This is indeed problematic for the group, and ramps up the intensity of the zombie outbreak like in previous sea-sons. Earlier, we learned that everybody is “infected,” and any kind of non-mutilation death will result in a zombie, and now we have a strong strand of the flu that almost seems to accelerate the turning process.

When somebody finds the murdered and burned bodies of two infected group mem-bers, the rest of the group is enraged and insists that Rick finds and punishes the one responsible. A few episodes later, Rick learns that it was Carol, the matriarch of the group and the only character this season who has stood up to Rick’s authority and defended her own views. She is sure that she made the right choice, but Rick sends her off packing before anyone else finds out. Rick has always been wishy-washy on the decisions he insists on making alone, but the one time he has the change to do what many of the fans thought was the right thing, he screws it all up and sends away one of the show’s most beloved characters. Up until now, the show has been inconsis-tent and almost laughably dull. There are at least five sequences in which group mem-bers are trying to fix the perimeter fences from the ever-growing hoard of zombies trying to break it down. I wondered aloud to myself, “How hard is it to see that this fence is going to fall soon? Why did it take a day and a half for Rick to notice?” Un-in-troduced characters drop like flies, and only after the fact do we find out who they are and why we should care by watching their families cry over their newly stabbed bodies. The normally lovely interactions between Maggie and Glen, or Carol and Daryl, are now either melodramatic or sap-py. And even Carl, the kid we all love to hate, flips back and forth between being a stuck-up brat and being a better leader than his dad, the former sheriff. Luckily, the show has been on an upward trend recently due to the return of The Gov-ernor, the psychotic villain from last year. We get not one, but two full episodes ded-icated to showing what happened to him after the Battle of Woodbury, and while the show is still on the slow and unexciting side, it is a relief to see a more interesting storyline than the excruciatingly boring de-velopments at the prison.

At its best, such as the scene at the CDC in season 1, the opening of the barn in sea-son 2, or the showdown with the Governor in season 3, The Walking Dead is a tense drama about how people try to survive af-ter a zombie outbreak. At its worst, I won-der to myself what the point is of watching these people try to live a little bit longer than the rest of humanity. So far, season 4 falls neatly into this second category. Instead of making me care about the esca-lating hardships for this group of misfits, I instead ponder whether they, and the show, would have turned out better if they had all died already. For the most part, I try to see the good in this fourth season and hang onto them as dearly as I can. But overall, I must admit that it has been a very underwhelming con-tinuation of The Walking Dead saga.

The Limping DeadBy John Paul Welsh

The Walking Dead airs on

Sunday nights at 9:00pm on

AMC.

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Return of the High Functioning Sociopath:A Review of BBC’s Sherlock

By Andrea Capobianco

Sherlockians will only have to wait one more month to see their favorite consult-ing detective and his blogger take down the baddies of London. The British show Sher-lock will be returning to TV on January 19, 2014, making its fans very happy after the show’s two-year hiatus. So what’s the big deal with this show? The first thing that makes the show pop-ular is the fact that it’s a modern adapta-tion on the famous stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I first heard about the show from my sister’s roommate. I knew about Doyle and the stories of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. I was a little hesitant at first to watch the show because I wondered how the producers, writers, and the rest of the creative team would take Doyle’s sto-ries from the 1800s and fit them into the 21st century. Luckily, I was not disappoint-ed when I watched the first episode. The stories of Sherlock Holmes from the 1800s were perfectly transitioned into the modern day world.

The second thing that sticks out to me is the editing. Many people don’t think about the editing and mainly focus on the acting with most TV shows, but believe me when I say that the editing team deserves as much credit as the actors. There’s one scene that really made me notice how great the ed-iting on this show is. In the first episode of season two, “A Scandal in Belgravia,” there’s one scene where Sherlock has been drugged by Irene Adler, aka The Woman. In his drugged up, comatose state, Sher-lock, with Irene, goes back to the crime scene that he had originally sent John out to investigate. At first we see Sherlock and Irene in her house. Sherlock says some-thing, and then the shot of that scene is him bending down to take a look at the car that was at the crime scene. The location goes from the house to the crime scene in a smooth transition. Maybe it’s just me cause I know how much time and effort goes into editing, but it’s stuff like that that makes me appreciate editing so much.

The last thing that makes the show so phenomenal is the acting. You have Ben-edict Cumberbatch playing the great Sher-lock Holmes, Martin Freeman as the war veteran John Watson, Mark Gatiss as the older brother Mycroft Holmes, Andrew Scott as the badass - emphasis on bad - Jim Moriarty, and Rupert Graves as Detective Inspector Lestrade. This cast just works so damn well together. If you want to watch a clip with phenomenal acting, then watch the clip from the season two finale, The Richenback Fall, where (spoilers!) Sher-lock commits suicide. Even though he turns out to be alive, describing the scene any further won’t do any justice do the great acting done by both Benedict and Martin. This show is absolutely amazing. I highly suggest it to anyone who is curious about the phenomenon that is the series Sherlock.

Photos by Wikipedia/bellaphon

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Ladies and Gentlemen, the time has come. The Playstation 4 has arrived, bringing with it a host of new games, a new controller, and a new, more social in-teraction-oriented user interface. The PS4 marks the long-awaited beginning of a new generation for Sony. It’s crazy to think that the PS3 and its competitor Xbox 360 were launched seven years ago. This console generation has been the longest in video gaming history, only adding to the excite-ment surrounding the new console. The question is, though: was it worth the wait? I was lucky enough to be casually driv-ing by Best Buy on the 15th, and noticed a surprisingly short line. After three and a half hours of standing in the bitter cold with a bunch of strangers, I was granted ac-cess to the promised land, and handed my very own Playstation 4. Trust me, I’m just as shocked as you are, because, from what I’ve been told, customers without a pre-or-der will more than likely be waiting until as late as the end of March for the opportunity to get their hands on a PS4. First, the Playstation 4 is a disturbing-ly beautiful, sleek, and modern-looking console. It has jagged edges on each side, and a combination of matte and gloss black plastic finishes. It is a much more aggres-sive looking design than any of the itera-tions of the PS3 design, which sets it apart even from its current competitor, the Xbox One, which to me looks like a giant, tank-like VCR from the future (because video tapes are the tech of the future). As mentioned before, the PS4 has launched alongside a collection of games that, while some are much better than oth-ers, is very impressive. Among the best of the bunch are Killzone: Shadow Fall, a sci-fi space-Nazi-killing first-person shooter, Resogun, a 3D side scrolling arcade shoot-‘em-up, NBA 2k14, and Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag. These games all look and

feel the next-gen part, and are all a blast to play. For me, being a shooter fan, Killzone and Resogun alone justify the purchase, but there’s definitely something for everybody in the launch lineup. That said, I wouldn’t necessarily say that there’s a game worth buying a PS4 to play just yet, but more on that later. Let’s talk Dualshock. Sony has devel-oped the Dualshock 4 controller for the PS4, and in my opinion, it is the best con-troller Sony has ever made, hands down. It’s much more comfortable than its pre-decessors, and much more responsive. The sticks are slightly concaved this time, rather than the convex design sported on the last three iterations. This allows for much more precise control with all types of games. Moreover, the grips of the control-ler have been elongated and streamlined for a more comfortable feel, and the D-Pad has received a small face-lift as well. There is also a light bar on the front of the controller

that indicates things like which player you are, or even game-specific things like your health status in Killzone. The most notice-able change, though, is the addition of the touch pad. The touchpad on the Dualshock 4 is, ad-mittedly, not used for much as of yet. For example, in Killzone, you can switch your loadout with a flick left or right, and in Lego Marvel Super Heroes, you can scroll through the map using the touchpad as if it were a laptop trackpad. The touchpad also clicks in regardless of where you put pres-sure on it, and offers a nice tactile response for doing so. The last big change in the controller is the addition of the “Options” and “Share” buttons. The Options button simply acts as the old “Start” button used to while play-ing games, but acts differently when using the PS4 UI. Not surprisingly, the Options button shows you, well, your options, in-cluding closing an application, deleting

Playstation 4 ReviewBy Joe Corato

Photo by Joe Corato

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it, ejecting the disc, and so on. The Share button allows you to upload the last fifteen minutes of gameplay to the internet using either Twitch or Ustream. The Playstation 4’s user interface looks and feels like a refined version of the PS3’s XrossMediaBar. Like its predecessor, all of the menu options are lined up next to one another in an easy to use, aesthetically pleasing fashion. And yes, Netflix is still there. The most important change, howev-er, is that every single menu option appears quickly and smoothly, making the whole experience feel much more snappy and responsive that before, not unlike the new controller. Not only are the menus fast, but game files install so much faster than on the PS3 that it might be a little jarring for you long-time PS3 fans. Overall, everything about the console, from the UI to the con-troller, is much quicker and much easier to use than ever before. But even with all of this awesomeness, the PS4 is not perfect - yet. For example, the ability to load and play MP3 files, a fea-ture that set the PS3 apart from the 360, is

not present. However, Sony is in the pro-cess of adding it through a downloadable patch. Another gripe I have is that, when the console is laying horizontally, it tends to wobble ever so slightly. This is small, yet infinitely annoying problem. Also, the battery life of the Dualshock 4 is drasti-cally and disappointingly shorter than the Dualshock 3’s 30 hours, clocking in at around 6-7 hours. Unfortunately, the PS4 is also not natively backwards compatible, but Sony says that a cloud service coming later on will add that functionality. The last problem, while not with the physical console, is the launch lineup. Not a sin-gle game, with the exception of Resogun, really strikes me as a next-gen game, but rather, a much prettier looking version of a current-gen title. This, thankfully, is some-thing that will get better with time. None of these problems, however, detract enough from the full package for me to not recom-mend this console to anyone. The Playstation 4 is a sleek, fast, and exciting step forward for the gaming world. It has the potential to be a truly astonishing

piece of hardware, as long as there’s equal-ly good software to back it up. It’s easy to see that Sony put a lot of effort into mak-ing this console generation a much more responsive, connected, and social one, and that’s fantastic. So, if you’re a fan of So-ny’s first party titles like I am, and you’re ready for the next generation of Playsta-tion, go forth and try your luck at picking up a PS4. You won’t be disappointed. I ex-pect great things for the future of gaming, and I haven’t been this excited in a very, very long time.

Photo by Joe Corato

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After a while, the college bar and par-ty scene can get old. Alternative things to do on weekends are often expensive or difficult to find, especially in Poughkeep-sie. Zorona Hookah Lounge provides the perfect night out for college students too young to get into bars and too broke to check out the restaurant scene. Hookah has long been a staple of Mid-dle Eastern tradition that is gaining ground among young people. For those concerned about health, although hookah smoking has the same risks as any tobacco use, using it once in a while will not greatly affect you. Hookah bars are common in New York City; there are sometimes belly dancers and Middle Eastern cuisine at higher-end places. They are popping up in college towns as well. Zorona has a regional ad-vantage in that they are the only hookah bar in Poughkeepsie and conveniently located near Marist, Vassar, and Dutchess Commu-nity College. Brian Nesheiwat has owned the lounge for four years. His father Yousef, whose picture hangs next to the entrance, had always dreamed of owning a hookah lounge, so Nesheiwat opened Zorona “to continue his dream.” Nesheiwat said that one of the best parts of Zorona is that “customers become family.” With mostly young locals and college students as clien-tele, there are several regulars. The specials board has funny names for flavors, which starts conversations with customers about the hookah. The only deterring factor, he said, is that some people do not know what hookah is. However hookah bars are be-coming more popular as young people are attracted to the fruity flavors and relaxing quality of the smoke. While Zorona hosts two DJs on Friday and Saturday who give the place more of a club-like atmosphere, the lounge tends to have a more low-key atmosphere on week-nights and earlier on weekends. This makes it a perfect place to unwind after work, as Albany graduate Steve Turrisi was doing.

Hookah Lounge Provides a New Kind of Night OutBy Juliana Perciavalle

While sharing hookah with my friend and I, he told us about how he was turned on to smoking it in Israel before Zorona opened. “It’s a good way for young people to be social,” he said. Since so much commu-nication occurs over technology, Turrisi pointed out that a night at the hookah bar facilitates better conversation than a loud bar or party. Christina Coulter, my housemate and a sophomore at Marist, echoed Turrisi. She commented on the intimacy that the hookah bar provides that allows her to bond with friends. Another housemate, sophomore Alexis Seijas agreed, adding that while the service can sometimes be slow, the experi-

ence is relaxing. They both mentioned the high quality of the shisha, which is the spe-cial type of tobacco used in the hookahs. Also, the hookah is cheap when you split it with a group; one head that usually lasts several hours ranges from $12-$15 depend-ing on the flavor. While they mentioned that it is often too loud and crowded on weekends, both ladies and I enjoy a night of bonding over hookah nonetheless. If you are looking for a place to bring a date or a group of friends, Zorona is ide-al. As Seijas put it, “it’s a nice change of pace.”

Zorona Hookah Lounge is located at 511 Haight Avenue in Pough-keepsie, just a short cab ride away if you do not have a car. It is open

from Monday to Thursday, 7:00 p.m. to midnight, and Friday to Saturday, 7:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m.

This article was graciously donated by Juliana from her journalism class’ Wordpress blog. The original article, and

more from her and other writers, can be found athttp://maristnewswriting.wordpress.com.

Check them out!

Photo by Juliana Perciavalle

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On YOLOingBy “Stanley the Swag Shark”

Yo, yo. Stanley the Shark here, reppin’ the Swagson River. I’ve had my fin un-derwater for quite some time chasing that river dolphin tail and getting real swole. Recently, I found myself with a harsh case of the munchies, and I was craving that hu-man meat, ya know? Maybe a crew kid’s arm or a senior year Hudson River dipper’s leg – nothing big, just needed to feed my muscle babies and fuel the swole train. So, logically, I swam to the surface to crush a quick meal. At that very moment, as my fin hit the air, I felt my swag barrier shatter, and my mind was flooded with all knowl-edge of the dry world through YOLOkine-sis. As a shark well-versed in the arts of #yoloswag, I suddenly became aware that the old ways of YOLO had died, and the new-age YOLOers had anti-swagged their way to the surface.

The New-Age YOLO

In the time I spent picking up those dol-phins, it seems the ancient ways of YOLO-ism have died out. No idea how it hap-pened, but the phrase “natural selection, dawg!” comes to mind. All these new age YOLOers seem to think that everything they do is YOLO-worthy as long as they say they’re going H.A.M. and shouting YOLO as they do it. However, let me in-form you that spanking your meat monkey in front of your daddy and yelling “I got mad swag!” is NOT a proper method of YOLO. That is called being a tool with far too many issues for me to even address. Speaking of tools, how about those kids sitting in their room procrastinating on their homework until the last minute and thinking they’re hot shit, real A-class reb-els right there? “Didn’t do my homework for theology, and the teacher didn’t check! So slick! #YOLO.” Let me tell you this, kid. That is most definitely not the prop-er way to invoke the sacred acronym. You only live once, and you’re going to blow it thinking you’re cool for not doing your homework? Man, this would make the an-cient gods of swag shed oceans of white, sticky tears. Back in my day, if a student wanted to YOLO, he’d stand up on his desk, rip off his pants, drop a steamy green deuce on his homework, and hurl it right

into the teacher’s face. Now THAT is how you ruin your future. And while we’re on the topic of ruining your future, my mind’s eye has shown me far too many images of kids partying away every night with the same old repeating scene of sinks filled with vomit and guf-fawing next-morning inquiries as to last night’s shenanigans. As swagtastic as you thought you were last night, I’ve got to tell you, my YOLO meter didn’t pick up squat. My swag tank is running on empty because you new-age YOLOers are so low on swag that you are to swag what a black hole is to light – a vacant spot that sucks it all in but never gets any swaggier. The elder YOLO-ers would never have fallen into this swag-less pit. Eight o’clock, they’d already have taken the booze hammer to the face and be YOLOing off a roof in a stolen shopping cart while wearing a purple jumpsuit. Not to mention, their friends would have filmed the whole thing for the next Jackass movie.

The YOLTing Phenomenon

Thank my sweet muscle children that this isn’t widespread, but I’ve detected the use of a new term being thrown around on occasion. It’s a term that defiles the con-cept of YOLO and undermines its very ex-istence. I can feel my swole fin shrivel just a bit every time one of you humans drops this term. It’s called YOLTing. Originally used as an alternative to YOLO, the blas-phemy known as YOLT stands for You Only Live Twice. No. You do not. Whoever thought up this term deserves to be hanged by his toes in a cell of Dungeons and Dragons players. Not only is this statement flagrantly wrong, but it also sucks away all meaning from the hilariously dangerous actions committed in the good name of YOLO. Stop wax-ing your carrot for half a second and think about it. If you had two lives, what would be the fun in risking JUST ONE of them doing something stupid? It lacks weight, just like the dumbbells being haplessly tossed around by a hundred pound, anemic white dude in the gym who’s trying to im-press his equally un-swole posse.

An Alternate View of YOLO

There seems to be a slightly more prac-tical view on YOLO circulating nowadays. Can’t say it gets my muscle babies off, but it’s at least not as swag-sucking as YOLT-ing. This view doesn’t involve getting real swole, injecting multiple pots, or even us-ing your think-box to discover mad ways to YOLO. Some humans seem to think that since they only live once, as stated in the Book of YOLO, they should use their lives “wisely.” Not sure what they mean by that because it seems mad boring to a shark as swagged out as me, but it seems to work for them. Having said that, if you humans ever feel the need to YOLO properly, why don’t you streak on into the Swagson River for a quick skinny dipping sesh. Seriously. I’m starving.

Disclaimer: The Generator Magazine in no way condones any of the actions or advice set forth in this article by Stanley the Swag Shark, and we highly suggest you avoid any activities mentioned above. This arti-cle only made it into the magazine because Stanley threatened to eat us if it was not included.

Hashtag

YOLOswag

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MERRY CHRISTMASAND A HAPPYNEW YEAR!

Top: Flickr/fsse8infoLeft: Flickr/paparutziRight: Flickr/*Sally M*

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Alright fellow Jews, it’s time to admit some harsh truths. We all know that our upcoming holiday, Hanukah, is essentially just one giant PR stunt. I know it’s tough to hear and sad to admit, but our beloved “Festival of Lights” isn’t by any stretch of the imagination a major holiday. Chanukah isn’t mentioned in our holy book the To-rah (or the Old Testament as you Jesus fans insist on calling it), it isn’t acknowledged as a high holiday (a day that Jews specif-ically mark as religiously significant) and it doesn’t even take a full day to celebrate! No, the truth is that Hanukkah is just an ob-scure tradition we dug out of an old Jewish history book so that we could have some-thing to celebrate during the Christmas sea-son (because it would be really awkward to celebrate the birth of a man we later de-cided to kill). Chanukah is really just one giant attempt to displace Christmas as the main event of every winter season. So how are we doing in that regard? Not well friends, not well. Christmas is still by far more popular, more publicized, and all around a bigger deal than Hanukah (but at least were doing better than Kwanza). Now we may never be able to complete-ly beat out Christmas as the number one event of the holiday season (the Christians outnumber us by far too many), but we can sure as hell do better than we are right now. With a few minor tweaks, Chanukah has the potential to be a real contender in the fight for the best holiday of the year. First off, we need to change the tone of the holiday. And by change the tone, I mean make it more fun. In order to com-pete with Christmas, Hanukah has been al-tered to make the celebration something it really isn’t. We celebrate Hanukah by gath-ering our family, having a nice meal, and exchanging presents. We’re trying to take the same kind of touchy-feely sentimental attitude of Christmas morning and inject into eight consecutive evenings. But that’s

The New Hanukkah:An Open Proposal for the Jewish People

By Joe Kuhn

not what Hanukkah is supposed to be like, not really. It’s called the Festival of Lights for a reason (the reason being that it’s sup-posed to be a festival). The first celebration of Chanukah was one giant after-party for one of the most miraculous military victo-ries in Semitic history. The miracle was that the party lasted seven days longer than it was logically supposed to. Hanukah is about a historical triumph, it’s about a peo-ple overcoming enormous odds and doing what all else thought was impossible, it’s about raising a giant middle finger to all who seek to harm us by proudly display-ing our history of surviving and defeating our enemies. Now what part of a typical a Hanukah celebration brings those feel-ings to mind? Not one! If we want Cha-nukah to be more popular, we need to start treating it less like Thanksgiving and more like the Fourth of July. We need to party it up! Invite friends over, serve booze, boast loudly about our religion’s accomplish-ments. Maybe your schedule can’t allow for an eight day party, but surely you could set some time aside for celebrating the way were supposed to (you can literally pick any day of the week). Hanukah is lagging behind Christmas because it lacks a true definition. Everyone knows what the spirit and message of Christmas are but what’s the spirit true spirit of Chanukah, lighting candles and eating greasy food? We need to solve our holiday identity crisis and turn-ing Hanukkah into a giant Jewish pride pa-rade is the best way to do it. We may not be able to out wholesome Christmas, but we can defiantly party it. Once we’ve clearly established our mes-sage, we need a mascot. Another major reason Christmas has us beat is that they have two of the most recognizable figures of all times and cultures batting for them (Jesus and Santa). So who’s on our ros-ter, Harvey Hanukah? If we want to put up a good fight for top holiday were going

to need to bring in some popular mascots. Fortunately, the mythology of Chanukah comes with its own set of awesome fig-ures that completely stand out from those other holiday myths. For starters we have the Maccabees, a group of hardcore war-riors who fought using guerrilla tactics cen-turies before it was cool. They and their leader, the spectacularly named Judah the Hammer are coolness personified. They were brave warriors who fought pharaohs, conquerors, and even the Roman Empire. These guys openly defied and defiled ev-erything their vastly larger enemies stood for and fearlessly clashed with army’s way stronger than them. In a culture completely obsessed with super heroes and badass ac-tion stars, Judah and his pals would go be a huge hit. They also have the added bonus of being completely real. While those poor Christian children will eventually grow up to learn that everything from the date of their holiday (December 25 is definitely not Jesus’ birthday) to their beloved icon (San-ta) are a bunch of lies, Jewish children will never have to face that disappointment. Judah and his bloody adventures are all a matter of historical record. The Maccabees will also help give Hanukkah its own spe-cial feel, making it more recognizable and better known. So there you have it. If we can make these changes, Chanukah can become the success that it was always supposed to be. We can make what was once just an attempt to give Jewish kids a reason not to be miserable during the Christmas season a respected and beloved holiday. Lets get to work!

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Marist Game Society’sGaming Day 2013!

November 23, 2013

The Cabaret

All photos byAnthony Barranco

Top: Shot of the main room from the far back corner

Middle: The “League of Legends Corner” in the Commuter Lounge area

Bottom: Another shot of the “main line” of gaming

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Above: Students gather around for the Magic: the Gathering draft

Below: There was definitely not a shortage of classic gaming systems

~Generator Staff

Thanks For Reading, and Happy Holidays!