funny friday

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Post on 19-Jun-2015

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Morsomme bilder til fredagsmail

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  • 1. Funny friday Norsk versjon

2. 3. When insults had class (1/2)

  • These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
  • The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it
  • A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.
  • "Hehad delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
  • "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
  • "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
  • "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
  • "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
  • "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
  • "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
  • "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.." - Stephen Bishop

4. When insults had class (2/2)

  • "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill in response.
  • "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
  • "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.." - Irvin S. Cobb
  • He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.." - Samuel Johnson
  • "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
  • "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
  • "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
  • "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
  • "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
  • "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
  • "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
  • "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
  • "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. " - Groucho Marx

5. Kjre Gud, Vr s snill send klr til alle de fattige damene i pappas PC. Amen 6. 7. 8. Noen ganger lurer jeg p om det er MEG det er no' galt med... Men s skjnner jeg at det skjer med andre ogs... En venn av meg, litt oppi rene, fortalte meg denne: Etter ha vrt gift i 44 r, tok jeg en dag et kritisk blikk p kona og fortalte henne dette: "Elskling, for 40r siden hadde vi en billig leilighet, en billig bil, vi sov p sofaen i stua, og s p en 10-tommer svart/hvit TV, men jeg gikk hverdag til sengs med et heitt kvinnfolk p 25 r ! N har jeg et hus til 4 millioner, en bil til 750.000, en kjempe svr dobbeltseng, og et 50-tommers flat-TV, men jeg m hver kveld g til sengs med et trtt kvinnfolk p 65! S vidt jeg kan se har ikke du fulgt opp her!" Kona mi er i grunnen et ganske fornuftig kvinnfolk. Hun sa bare: "G bare du ut og finn deg et heitt stkke p 25 r, s skal jeg srge for at du igjen fr: En billig leilighet, en billig bil, en sofaseng og et billig svart-hvitt TV!" 9. 10. 11. Blond

  • Ifjor installerte jeg varmepumpe. Denne uken ringte en mann fra firmaet som installerte den. Han ppekte at de hadde gjort jobben for ett helt r siden, men enda ikke ftt betalt. Ok, bare fordi jeg er blond, betyr ikke det at jeg automatisk er dum... S jeg fortalte denne fyren hva hans snakkesalige selger sa for ett r siden, nemlig at etter ett r s har pumpen betalt seg selv. Og; hallo! Det har gtt ett r n!!! Det ble HELT stille i den andre enden, s jeg la p. Han ringte ikke opp igjen. Han flte seg nok skikkelig dum....!

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