As winter weather hits the St. Louis Priory School, the students take to the slopes. After having shown every other school in Missouri who is truly most manly and forgoing a snow-day on Tuesday, we just could not keep our inner children chained up forever. Therefore, some of the seniors chose to utilize their free periods wisely and venture into the Priory backcountry.

The Priory Sledding Club was formed when Doug Brooking, Kyle Hill, and myself decided to lighten our mood b y g e t t i n g s o a k i n g w e t a n d u n n e c e s s a r i l y c o l d o n T u e s d a y

afternoon. Our mountain of choice was the steep, yet short blue square run by the Abbey Church facing Mason Rd. We had our share of wipe-outs, but continued to perfect our techniques in order to go farther than many thought humanly possible. Soon, however, the bell for class rang, ending our fun for the day.

O u r s t o r y c o n t i n u e s Wednesday, with the addition of a new member: Joey Heitz! When fourth period rolled around, we were all anticipating a few more members to join our good time, but sadly the event was BYOS (Bring your own sled.) Outfitted in snow pants and ski goggles we headed out, with our own personal photographer, David Taiclet. We had a solid period and a half of joyous ecstasy

zipping to-and-fro across the Priory campus on our trusty sleds. We hope to expand our club on Friday, and on the lack of snow-days to come, with the addition of some more members and guest appearances from some of the faculty!

We’re blessed at Priory to have so many options when it comes to s h r e d d i n g s o m e s i c k p o w ( d e r . ) Whether one is gliding towards the pond on the deep bowl in the center of campus, or speeding towards an airy demise behind the tennis courts, one is guaranteed an enjoyable time. As we all have our good, clean fun out sledding to our hearts’ content, remember to stay safe, stay classy, get to class on time, and always stay in dress code! See you

on the slopes! See more pics on page 5

The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School since 1960Volume 41, Issue 15

The RecordFriday, January 14, 2011

Sean Sigillito, ’11Entertainment Writer

Snow Day!!!???A group of Priory students did not need to be at home all day to enjoy the plentiful snow

Friday, January 14, 2011Volume 41, Issue 15

EditorialsThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

The Record StaffEditor in Chief: Kevin Hess ’11

Layout Editor: David Taiclet, ’11

Content Editors: Jon Gower, ’11 Sam Sagartz, ’11

Faculty Moderator: Mr. Matthew L. Barrett

In this issue... Kevin Hess, ’11 Mr. Jacob Martin, ’11 Zach Weiss, ’11 Jon Gower, ’11 Luke Slabaugh ’12 Tommy Yoon ’12 Peter Cogan ’13 Spencer Wright, ’14 Aris Sevastianos ’15

The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by student editors/staff members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members o f the Pr iory community , including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

The Record Disclaimer

Grinds My Gears

Gentlemen, let’s begin. I’m just going to delve right in here this week since I’ve had to deal with this one all day. I’m going to waste no time getting to what this week’s topic is. The delving has begun. Ready. Set. Delve. You k n o w w h a t r e a l l y g r i n d s m y g e a r s ? Notification sounds. Why do I have to hear a beep every time anyone does anything ever? Or worse, why do people m a k e t h e i r o w n notification sounds? W h y d i d t h a t f r e s h m a n i n t h e bathroom have to tell me he was in the b a t h r o o m ? I personally blame the low self-esteem of today’s population, and by self-esteem I quite obviously mean attention span. No one can pay attention anymore. I myself forgot to write this article until like ten minutes ago. Well, several days ago now. Years if I’m looking back on this later in life. The point is, I’ve already forgotten what my point was. But this beeping and buzzing and the voices of children has got to stop (unless it’s telling you that your food is ready). I don’t need to hear about your text message, hypothetical person I’m now chastising. Instant message windows are even worse. It’s instant. It shouldn’t need to tell me I received a message. I’m in that window. That window is open and I am looking into it; I expect things to appear in

there instantly, that is the point of an instant message. It is instant. Instant is in the definition (just before “messenger”). And then unintelligent people in classrooms make remarks like “THAT YOUR CELL PHONE?” and I become so annoyed that I don’t even distinguish between remarks and questions. Gentlemen, silence your things or that will happen. No one finds it or those comments funny. If you make those comments, you are

most likely going to die alone. It doesn’t even matter if you stop now, once you say that you secrete this chemical that tells people to avoid you forever. That statement is based p u r e l y o n s p e c u l a t i o n , o f course, but it’s my speculat ion so i t counts more than regular speculation. This article originally had a point, but that point has long been lost in my rant of anguish. It was

probably something like, “Notification noises are unnecessary, annoying, and insulting to people with attention spans or who can feel cell phone vibrations or who can see things, but it is fun when they make that popping sound like in the facebook chat window; I never use facebook chat, so that doesn’t really affect me too often, but I still like that particular sound. I don’t really care for loud music as ringtones, though, just on a side note.” I suppose we’ll never actually know the true meaning of this

particular article, though.

Mr. Jacob Martin, ’11Weekly Editorial Writer

1. Jeers to the Snow Day that was not a Snow Day. What happened, Priory? Does it surprise you that this is the lowest attendance you've had since the swine flu pandemic? What if one of your students slides a hair too far whilst driving on 141 (dubbed Fun Forty-One because of it's extra slick conditions this season)? Bad move.

2. On that note, a cheer of great magnitude is due to Mr. Joseph Gleich for a display of athletic prowess on Tuesday afternoon. The Gleich himself was spotted sprinting outside in the freezing weather from the cafeteria to the high school. While several years ago, one might have been tempted to point and jeer "You did this to yourself!", the Varsity Cross Country coach merits great kudos for using his wheels from portal to portal. He's still got it.

3. Cheers to the #2 seed in the NFC, "Da" Chicago Bears. They may be able to prove that the NFC West is still a joke. It is, after all. The Bears are searching for their first Super Bowl appearance since Rex Grossman was their starting QB. Those were the days.

4. Jeers to this year's bachelor on ABC's "The Bachelor," Mr. Brad Womack. The 38 year-old entrepreneur has begun his second quest for love after turning down two finalists a few years back. The dude has come fresh out of intensive therapy and it shows. Everything

said so far in the opening two episodes appears like it's been made fresh out of a Hollywood script. He even has taken advice from last year's Bachelorette, the fair Ali Fedotowsky and her too-good-to-be-true hubby, Roberto, on who to eliminate. Womack seems destined to fail twice. But

then again, it is The Bachelor.

Friday, January 14, 2011Volume 41, Issue 15

The Weekly UpdateThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

Weekly Calendar

Wednesday, 1/19/2011

• 4:00 C Bball @ Whitfield

• 5:30 JV Bball @ Whitfield

• 7:00 V Bball @ Whitfield

Thursday, 1/20/2011

• TBA V Wrestling @ Windsor

Friday, 1/14/2011

•4:00pm Freshman Bball vs. Prin•5:30 JV Bball vs. Prin•7:00 V Bball vs. Prin•9:45 Hockey vs. WCA @ Affton

Saturday, 1/15/2011

• TBA JV Wrestling•9:30 Hockey vs. MICDS @ Affton

Monday, 1/17/2011

Tuesday, 1/18/2011

• 9:00 Hockey vs. Ladue @ Queeny

• 4:00 V Wrestling vs. DeSmet

Cheers and Jeers

Luke Slabaugh, ’12Editorial Writer

Weekly LunchesMonday, 1/17

NO SCHOOL

Tuesday, 1/18

Roast Beef w/ Mashed Potatoes

Wednesday, 1/19

Bowl of Chili

Thursday, 1/20

Meatloaf w/ gravy

Friday, 1/21

Pasta con Broccoli

PuzzlesThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Friday, January 14, 2011Volume 41, Issue 15

Crossword Puzzle

Sudokus

HARD

EASY

Cryptogram

- DJ Pauly D

Across1. Clique6. Droop9. Snake12. Delete13. Affirm15. Scheme17. Recess18. Juncture20. Cheapness21. Doctor22. Lyric poem23. Boundary26. Made27. Launch platform28. Without qualification30. Ballet step32. Assumed name33. Part of a church36. Enumerate40. Crude41. Illuminated42. Heading43. Note44. Singing voice45. Pertaining to birds46. Seize suddenly

48. Genitor50. Root vegetable53. Country, initially55. Ripped56. Be indebted to57. Pertain60. Fishing pole63. Valiance65. Proverb67. Region68. Compress69. Writing style70. Condensation71. Seed of the cereal grass72. Go in

Friday, January 14, 2011Volume 41, Issue 15

The ForumThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

The results will be made known on Saturday. The southern part of Sudan is holding a referendum to decide whether or not it should secede from the north. The large African country has already been torn apart by a long and bloody civil war, with the majority Muslim North often committing atrocities against the Christian South. Much of the South is already controlled by rebels, and in some ways a successful referendum would legitimize the region’s de facto independence. A 60% voter turnout is necessary for the referendum to be valid, and this was achieved on Wednesday. Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir has stated that he will respect the South’s decision, but he later qualified this by saying, "The

stability of the south is very important to us because any instability in the south will have an impact on the north. If there is a war in your neighbor’s house, you will not be at peace. The south suffers from many problems. It's been at war since 1959. The south does not have the ability to provide for its citizens or create a state or authority.”

For social commentators like Gustavo Sanchez, whose senior thesis on Darfur has made him an expert on Sudanese affairs, this last s t a t e m e n t i s i n d i c a t i v e o f Khartoum’s unwillingness to a c t u a l l y g r a n t t h e S o u t h independence. Roughly 80% of the country’s oil reserves, which have been instrumental in its economic growth, lie in the South. Since the North has also agreed to take on most of Sudan’s staggering $380 billion debt, an independent South may make difficult it difficult to repay. Other problems arise with how the South is to be governed. South Sudan has little political or economic infrastructure, since

many of its residents are nomads. Already in control, the rebels have little to gain from free elections that could potentially unseat them. While Western nations interested in the country’s oil might provide capital, they could just as easily exploit the South Sudanese.

However, none of these difficulties should stop South Sudan’s bid for independence. Khartoum has an abysmal human rights record, both in the South and in Darfur, and independence would give the South Sudanese a chance at freedom that they would have never gotten under Northern rule. The international community will doubtless have to work to ensure that the transfer of power foes smoothly, but it would be worth it. A peaceful secession would stabilize North Africa and be a beacon of hope for a strife-torn

region.

Lorem Ipsum

Zach Weiss, ’11Weekly Editorial Writer

EntertainmentThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Friday, January 14, 2011Volume 41, Issue 15

On this day in history, in 1934, more reports came in from Loch Ness about alleged sightings of a giant sea monster. Since the 1950s, this "legendary" monster has been affectionately referred to as “Nessie.” The first documentation of a monster in Loch Ness appears in the Life of St. Columba. When St. Columba was in the land of the Picts, he had to cross the river Nesa. Before he did so, he noticed people burying a body. Upon inquiry, he learned that this man had been swimming in the river when he was attacked and bitten severely by a sea monster. Upon hearing this, St. Columba ordered one of his followers to swim across the river and bring back a boat from the other side. While the man was swimming across, the sea monster suddenly rose from the depths and pursued the man. St. Columba, showing no signs of distress, formed the sign of the cross in the air and uttered the words, “Thou shalt go no further, nor touch the man; go back with all speed.” Upon hearing the voice of the saint, the monster fled, terrified. The comrade returned with the boat safely, and the Picts, having witnessed this great miracle, converted to Christianity. This experience with the saint supposedly changed the monster’s ways; the creature does not attack humans anymore. One of the most iconic pieces of evidence to Nessie’s existence is what is know as the “Surgeon’s Photograph.” This picture portrayed the monster’s head and neck rising from the water. Skepticism quickly arose around the photograph, and in 1999 the truth was revealed; the picture was essentially of a toy submarine with a sculpted head attached. Very many sightings have been reported over the years, and pictures have been circulated supposedly containing the monster. It should also be noted that Loch Ness is famous for its very strong whiskey. That fact may or may not pertain to the alleged monster sightings. On the basis of a photograph depicting a large fin and body (supposedly the monster’s), Sir Peter Scott of Britain announced in 1975 that the scientific name for the monster would be Nesseteras rhombopterx (Greek for "The Ness monster with diamond-shaped fin). This enabled Nessie to be added to a British register of officially protected wildlife. So whether the monster exists or not, it is protected by British law. Whether or not the monster actually exists is entirely your own opinion. Either way, it is an illusion, like Santa Claus is for

children, that is more fun to keep alive.

The Auburn Tigers won the BCS National Championship Monday night, beating the Oregon Ducks 22-19. However, even in light of placing Oregon as the underdog in the game, America nonetheless wanted, nay CRAVED, Oregon to win this game. Oregon had a whopping 81% popularity advantage over what is clearly a detested Auburn team. Among other things, namely Auburn being the pompous team that no one can like, the main factors that set Auburn into the bottom of the national public opinion are two people: Cam (“Scam”, as I will from now on call him) Newton, and Nick Fairley. I'd prefer to begin with the latter, Nick Fairley. As a living human person, I have a hard time believing that Mr. Fairley has a soul. The reputation of being the dirtiest player to have played college football fits him quite well. Whether it be face-masks after plays, unnecessary roughness whenever possible, or the alleged CLEATING of an Arkansas player, he has no boundaries. The truth is, Nick Fairley is merely an exceptionally dirty player on the dirtiest defense in America. Does anyone remember the incident where Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes attempted to gouge the eyes of a Georgia running back? Yep, that's basically Auburn, but they're just weaselly enough to get away with it. On the other side of the ball, the Scam Newton story simply doesn't add up. He didn't know that his father was trying to elicit money from Mississippi State, where he would have gone if his father had gotten the money he wanted? I don't know about the rest of the continental United States (yes Hawaii and Alaska, you don't count), but I'm pretty sure where I end up going to college will be partly my decision. Maybe Scam was too busy stealing computers? Which brings me to my next point: Cam Newton stole property, and when confronted by the POLICE, he threw the computer out the window. You know what they say: 'In desperate times, men do desperate things. Lie. Steal. Throw other people's high-priced electronics out of a three-story window.' Why did the NCAA allow a triple felony criminal back in? Not quite sure there. And back to the soliciting money and other valuables from universities: Lord only knows what he received from Auburn. The NCCA better be ready for Reggie Bush controversy 2.0. His name: Cam Newton. All-in-all, Cam Newton belongs in class, not ever allowed to see a field again; Nick Fairly belongs in a mental hospital for the criminally insane; and The Auburn Tigers belong(ed) in the Beef O' Brady's Bowl. The Oregon Ducks deserve the BCS National Championship -A swift apology to the small remnant of the southern Alabamites who still cheer for Auburn, and the Szatkowski family. It’s not

you....it’s the disgusting team that represents your fine establishment.

Andrew Cammon, ’Editorial Writer

Jack O’Brien, ’12Opinions Writer

This Day in History Auburn: The Most Hated Champion

Friday, January 14, 2011Volume 41, Issue 15

EntertainmentThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

The JV Rebels are 3-3 going into the second week of classes in 2011. We’ve had a tough schedule to start the year playing St. Mary’s, Lutheran South, and Duchesne, all of which have very solid basketball programs. The story of the season so far has been our game against Duchesne. After traveling all the way to St. Charles to play them, we struggled early in the game. Down by 13 going into the fourth quarter, we clawed our way back into the game with a high pressure press which caused several steals and some clutch three pointers from David Nogalski and Peter Cogan. Jack Mueller played outstanding underneath and his strength couldn’t be matched by any of the Duchesne big men. His rebounding and defensive stops were a big part in keeping us in the game. With the score tied and five seconds to go, Duchesne had a free throw to close out the game but they couldn’t convert. The game went into overtime, but each team continued to make big shots to keep it close. Helped by great clock management by Coach Ham, the game was extended to four overtimes. Down by two with five seconds left in the fourth overtime, Sam Newman single-handedly fought through the entire Duchesne defense and made a heavily contested seven-footer to send the game into the fifth overtime. We quickly took the lead with two layups from Newman and found ourselves up four. Duchesne battled back though, and hit a three to make it a one point game. With Duchesne forced to foul, Peter Cogan hit both of his free throws to put us up by three. After another defensive stop, Duchesne fouled again and Cogan made another free throw to close out the game with a score of 51-47. Later that week we went to Lutheran South to play our first league game against a talented Lancer team. We were only down by four at halftime but costly errors and cold shooting kept us out of contention and we lost by 12 points. Next week we will play MICDS and Principia, both at home, where we need wins

to keep us at the top of the ABC league.

iTunes Top 10

1. Hold It Against Me Brittany Spears2. What the Hell Avril Lavigne3. Grenade Bruno Mars4. Firework Katy Perry5. Tonight (I’m Lovin’ You) Enrique Iglesias6. The Time (Dirty Bit) The Black Eyed Peas7. Black and Yellow Wiz Khalifa8. 6 Foot 7 Foot Lil Wayne9. H*A*M* Kanye West & Jay-Z10. We R Who We R Ke$ha

Editor-in-Chief’sTop 10 Songs

1. Right Above It feat Drake Lil Wayne2. Lollipop Remix ft Kayne Lil Wayne3. Coming Home Diddy ft Skylar Grey4. Help Beatles Remix Lil Wayne5. Poppin Bottles TI6. Walk it Out Remix Lil Wayne7. All Day (Album) Girl Talk8. 6 Foot 7 Foot Lil Wayne9. Ice Cream Remix Lil Wayne10. I Hate College Remix Sam Adams

JV Basketball solid through 6

NFL Regular Season AwardsMVP: Tom Brady- The three-time super bowl champion threw 36 touchdowns and only 4 INT’s while leading the Patriots to a 14-2 record. Comeback Player: Mike Vick- He’s electrifying. He’s explosive. He’s the only legitimate dual-threat quarterback in the NFL. Rookie of the Year: Sam Bradford/ Ndamukong Suh: Bradford had arguably the greatest rookie season of any quarterback ever, but give Suh some credit: he’s already established himself as one of the league’s best. Coach of the Year: Bill Belichick- Who’s he got on his team this year? Does it matter? Belichick and Brady are just that good. Most Overrated Player: Peyton Manning- Manning threw 4 interceptions in a single game. Not once, but twice. Manning lost as many games as he won for the Colt’s. All those calls and signals he gives at the line of scrimmage are obnoxious. Get your job done Peyton. Please, throw it to someone who is not on the other team. Most Underrated Player: James Hall- Hall recorded 10.5 sacks and forced 6 fumbles. He is efficient, effective, and one of the league's most dangerous pass rushers. Most Entertaining to watch: DeSean Jackson/ Mike Vick- Without doubt, the most explosive QB/WR duo in league history. Least Entertaining: The Saint Louis Rams- When I am looking to take a nap on a Sunday afternoon, I shuffle through the channels

hoping to find a Ram’s game.

Peter Cogan, ’13Sports Writer

NFL Postseason awards

Andy Schwartz, ’11Sports Writer

The RecordThe Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Friday, January 14, 2011Volume 41, Issue 15

THE RECORD - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School 500 S. Mason Road, Creve Coeur, MO 63141 314.434.3690 ext. 221 theprioryrecord@gmail.com

Editor in Chief: Kevin H. Hess, ’11 Layout Editor: David J. Taiclet, ’11 Content Editors: Jon P. Gower, ’11, Sam J. Sagartz, ’11 Moderator: Matthew L. Barrett

NFL Playoffs Predicted

Review of True GritThe Coen brothers are back with another movie epic creation to sweep us off our feet. Remember “No Country for Old Men”? Seems these guys have got the western genre packed up and mastered. The movie is based off of the book, not the other film with John Wayne, so anyone can go into this movie without any knowledge of the older movie classic. The main character Rooster Cogburn played by 2009’s best actor Jeff Bridges is a completely convincing as a marshal who just wants to shoot. Surprisingly, 14 year old Hailee Seinfeld, her first movie, takes over the show as the narrator and little girl who wants to avenge her daddy. She’s not some cutesy little girl that wants to play tough, she actually is tough and independent, frightfully and annoyingly so. The Coen brothers successfully recreate the Wild West: villains will kill just to kill and the conversations are complicated and dragged out. It really was a culture shock, considering we use three letters to describe us laughing at something. Unfortunately, the movie is not actually that exciting or has the most compelling groundbreaking ending in the world. Because of this, I can’t picture myself seeing it again. I highly recommend seeing it

either in theaters or renting it when it comes out on DVD.

I have to admit, actually finding this movie was impossible for awhile in America, but it was worth it. There is really nothing bad to say about this movie. At all. Colin Firth hands down is the best actor of all 2010 movies, it’s not even close competition. Mr. Firth plays the character of King George (the current Queen of England’s father) who has just been placed into the kingship because his older brother wanted to marry one of those dirty Americans. There is one problem for the prince, he has a speech impediment. Another problem? The only form of informing and brightening the spirits of your citizens is via radio speeches. With some guy named Hitler on the rise, these speeches are something England and all of its numerous colonies at the time needed to hear as the war against fascism begins. We all know the ending to the movie of course but that did not come to my mind once. It was the journey, not the destination, that describes this movie. This is a timeless classic that you will want to see repeatedly. Don’t waste any

more time not seeing it.

Review of King’s Speech

Last week I went a smooth 2 for 4, but I ended up calling every game pretty close to what happened: I consider it a success. This weeks games are going to be nuts.

Baltimore at PittsburghEveryone’s favorite matchup. Might as well flip a coin on this one. Ed Reed will be leading the defense emotionally this week following his brother’s disappearance, and you don’t want to play an inspired Raven’s D. That being said, I think that the Steelers’ extra week of rest compared to the Ravens’ short week will be just enough to turn the tides toward Pittsburgh. Steelers by a touchdown.

Green Bay at AtlantaAnother fantastic game. Last time they played it came down to a last second field goal. The better team to me is resoundingly the Green Bay Packers, however, as we all saw in Seattle last weekend, home field advantage is huge. Strictly because of this I’ll take Atlanta by a field goal. Look for a super close game though.

Seattle at ChicagoI think Chicago is not good...at all. Cutler is a bum. Enough said. However, Seattle is horrible... and no longer playing at home. Chicago by 17.

New York Jets at the New England PatriotsIt doesn’t get better than this. I can guarantee that it will not be another 45-3 game. The Jets have gotten their defense back onto the same page after losing their defensive “quaterback” Brian Lenard. If the Jets can use Revis to nullify Wes Welker and Cromartie can keep from completely getting burned by Branch all night then this game will stay real close. All this being said, Bill Belichick has had a full extra week to coach his team. In case you were wondering, he’s really good...I mean REALLY good at coaching. In fact, he’s almost never wrong. Therefore, the Jets would have to play perfect, controlling the ball and clock with their running game, as well as get lucky to beat the Patriots; but they are one of the few teams who has that potential. As much as I hate to, I must take the Patriots to win this game by over a touchdown; they will not win the Superbowl this year,

though.

Trevor Jin, ’12Entertainment Writer

Kevin Hess, ’11Editor in Chief