Four worlds of existence and their Four worlds of existence and their paradoxesparadoxes

Emmy van Deurzen Emmy van Deurzen

Emmy van DeurzenEmmy van Deurzenbrief CVbrief CV

Philosopher: Philosopher: Masters in 1974, Montpellier, FranceMasters in 1974, Montpellier, France Doctorate in 2000, City Uni, London UKDoctorate in 2000, City Uni, London UK

Psychotherapist: Psychotherapist: trained from 1973-1977, Saint-Alban, Agen, Bordeaux, Esalen, trained from 1973-1977, Saint-Alban, Agen, Bordeaux, Esalen,

London (Lacanian, psychodrama, group/community therapy)London (Lacanian, psychodrama, group/community therapy)

Clinical psychologist:Clinical psychologist: Masters Bordeaux Uni, France 1977Masters Bordeaux Uni, France 1977

Lecturer andTrainer Lecturer andTrainer since 1977, Arbours, South West London College, since 1977, Arbours, South West London College, Antioch Uni, Regent’s College, City Uni, Schiller Uni, Sheffield Uni, New School of Antioch Uni, Regent’s College, City Uni, Schiller Uni, Sheffield Uni, New School of Psychotherapy and Counselling, Middlesex Uni.Psychotherapy and Counselling, Middlesex Uni.

Course director and manager since 1982Course director and manager since 1982

Author of 13 BooksAuthor of 13 Books

Book Book on Happiness on Happiness

best intro to these ideasbest intro to these ideas

Onto-dynamics: living wiselyOnto-dynamics: living wisely

Learning to live in line with the laws of life. Learning to live in line with the laws of life. Paradox, conflict, difficulty and dilemmas are our Paradox, conflict, difficulty and dilemmas are our

daily companions. daily companions. With a crisis thrown in here and there.With a crisis thrown in here and there. The way you respond depends a lot on the The way you respond depends a lot on the

worldview and strength you build up for yourself worldview and strength you build up for yourself Your courage and flexibility will increase with Your courage and flexibility will increase with

practice as you gain greater perspective and depth practice as you gain greater perspective and depth on the challenges of livingon the challenges of living

We learn to make sense of life by We learn to make sense of life by learning about oppositeslearning about opposites

Life always has both positives Life always has both positives and negatives at all levels: and negatives at all levels:

life=tensionlife=tension

Life is about positives and negativesLife is about positives and negativesWe can’t have the good, unless we tackle the bad We can’t have the good, unless we tackle the bad

The paradox of life is that only as we face one side of life will The paradox of life is that only as we face one side of life will the other work for us. Opposites work in tandem. the other work for us. Opposites work in tandem.

Only to the extent that Only to the extent that we accept polarities, we accept polarities, conflicts and conflicts and contradictions do we contradictions do we learn to live with truth learn to live with truth

Onto-dynamics rather Onto-dynamics rather than psycho-dynamics:than psycho-dynamics:

Life is tension Life is tension between oppositesbetween opposites

Energy is the flow between two Energy is the flow between two polespoles

Source: kidzoneweather.com Source: kidzoneweather.com

DialecticsDialectics

Thesis, antithesis, synthesis.Thesis, antithesis, synthesis. Human evolution proceeds with Human evolution proceeds with

constant conflict and forward constant conflict and forward movement in overcoming a previous movement in overcoming a previous state. state.

Paradoxes and dilemmasParadoxes and dilemmas can be integrated can be integrated and gone beyond. and gone beyond.

Transcendence

Thesis Antithesis

Synthesis

DialecticsDialectics

future

Thesis: my view(past )

Antithesis: your view(present)

Dialectics: Dialectics: transcendence in spacetranscendence in space

Synthesis:a wider view

Socrates: the unreflected life is not worth living. Socrates: the unreflected life is not worth living. The good life is passionately lived.The good life is passionately lived.

What does it mean to live well?What does it mean to live well?

Life as hero’s journeyLife as hero’s journey

The challenge: travelling far, braving danger The challenge: travelling far, braving danger in order to save the world. in order to save the world.

Have an adventure, then return to safety: home Have an adventure, then return to safety: home coming, using our compass.coming, using our compass.

Our life is like a riverOur life is like a river

We wind our own way down the road of lifeWe wind our own way down the road of life When it flows steadily that feels goodWhen it flows steadily that feels good Set patterns are like sediment in the river that Set patterns are like sediment in the river that

make us stagnatemake us stagnate Get back into the flow of life Get back into the flow of life

Tight fit:Tight fit:

Sometimes life is plain sailing, but we may Sometimes life is plain sailing, but we may have to navigate between a rock and a hard have to navigate between a rock and a hard place.. place..

Being Captain of your ShipBeing Captain of your Ship

Finding our way through our life with Finding our way through our life with deliberationdeliberation

Connecting to the wave and tidesConnecting to the wave and tides

Until I saw the sea Until I saw the sea I did not know I did not know that wind that wind could wrinkle water so could wrinkle water so

I never knew I never knew that sun that sun could splinter a whole sea of blue could splinter a whole sea of blue

nor nor did I know before, did I know before, a sea breathes in and out a sea breathes in and out upon a shore upon a shore

by Lilian Mooreby Lilian Moore

Facing anxietyFacing anxiety

The energy of lifeThe energy of life

And energy can be used or can And energy can be used or can overwhelm youoverwhelm you

To live is to be anxiousTo live is to be anxious

Until we dieUntil we die Because we dieBecause we die Because we were bornBecause we were born We have to learn to stand up and be counted; to ek-We have to learn to stand up and be counted; to ek-

sist in past, present and futuresist in past, present and future

Seasons and cycles of lifeSeasons and cycles of life We are bornWe are born We live, love, workWe live, love, work Then we dieThen we die

Our life is Our life is in fluxin flux

Things constantlyThings constantly

change and so do wechange and so do we Circle of life goes onCircle of life goes on We cannot stop it We cannot stop it We have to go with the flowWe have to go with the flow

Our lives are like the seasons or the birth of Our lives are like the seasons or the birth of day and night. day and night.

Watching life go byWatching life go byWe can be:We can be:

observers observers participants participants

creatures creatures or creators or creators

active active reactive reactive

pro-active pro-active passivepassive

Time streams like sand through Time streams like sand through an hourglass: we are timean hourglass: we are time

The ec-stasies of time:The ec-stasies of time: 1.past1.past

2.present2.present 3.future3.future

4 eternity4 eternity

Passionate engagement is like Passionate engagement is like fire: it eats time. fire: it eats time.

Time is fast when I am at one with the world Time is fast when I am at one with the world and give myself over to being and give myself over to being

Engagement is vitalEngagement is vital Being alive: claiming your life Being alive: claiming your life

We need an image of what life is forWe need an image of what life is for

Life has to be remembered Life has to be remembered backwards but it has to be lived backwards but it has to be lived forwards forwards

Kierkegaard.Kierkegaard.

Different perspectivesDifferent perspectives

Depending on where we stand light refracts Depending on where we stand light refracts differently through the prism of life.differently through the prism of life.

Existential Space Existential Space

Physical space

Social space

Personal space

Spiritual space

Your own little sphere of Your own little sphere of existence mattersexistence matters

Imagine a person like a sphereImagine a person like a sphere

That person is located in a universe That person is located in a universe with other planets, stars, suns, with other planets, stars, suns,

moons and spheresmoons and spheres

Sphere as a planet or a cell: micro or Sphere as a planet or a cell: micro or macro level. macro level.

If a cell: connection with other cells, If a cell: connection with other cells, function and internal constitution function and internal constitution

are paramountare paramount

If planet: orbit and position If planet: orbit and position mattermatter

Merleau Ponty: Visible and InvisibleMerleau Ponty: Visible and Invisible

Things are structures – frameworks – the stars of our Things are structures – frameworks – the stars of our life: they gravitate around us. Yet there is a secret life: they gravitate around us. Yet there is a secret bond between bond between

us and them – us and them –

through perception through perception

we enter into the we enter into the

essence of the fleshessence of the flesh

(Visible and Invisible: 220)(Visible and Invisible: 220)

You experience yourself as having a You experience yourself as having a nucleus: a core, a heart or a soulnucleus: a core, a heart or a soul

Perhaps we are more like suns, Perhaps we are more like suns, generating heat and lightgenerating heat and light

Solar anatomy Solar anatomy

Layers of the sunLayers of the sun

Corona, chromosphere, photosphere, Corona, chromosphere, photosphere, convection zone, and core. convection zone, and core.

Layers of a person’s life.Layers of a person’s life.

4.Physical: Umwelt

3.Social: Mitwelt

2.Personal: Eigenwelt

1.Spiritual: Uberwelt

Spiritual:Good/Evil

Intuitions, values, beliefs, purpose, meaning.Worldview/Ideas.

Personal:Strength/Weakness

Thoughts, memories, identity, freedom.Selfhood/Me.

Social:Love/Hate

Feelings, relations, belonging, acknowledgement.Communication/Others.

Physical:

Life/DeathSensations, actions, environment, body, things.

Survival/World.

Dimensions of existenceDimensions of existence

Paradoxes of human existenceParadoxes of human existence

Conflicts and dilemmas Conflicts and dilemmas are essentialare essential

Conflicts are the core of existence.Conflicts are the core of existence. Things and people oppose each other.Things and people oppose each other. Conflict can either destroy you or deepen you. Conflict can either destroy you or deepen you. Relationships are about tension: fission or Relationships are about tension: fission or

fusion. fusion. Most conflicts are not just with others but with Most conflicts are not just with others but with

the world, with beliefs and with ourselves.the world, with beliefs and with ourselves. Conflict does not have to lead to combat.Conflict does not have to lead to combat.

Marcus AureliusMarcus Aurelius

It is not death that a man should fear, but he It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to liveshould fear never beginning to live

The paradox is that death, troubles, labour, The paradox is that death, troubles, labour, failures, pain and sorrow are unavoidable and failures, pain and sorrow are unavoidable and necessarynecessary

They are the things that wake you up to They are the things that wake you up to awareness and that open you to lifeawareness and that open you to life

Things to rememberThings to remember We learn in context and with othersWe learn in context and with others To build a true learning community we need to come close to To build a true learning community we need to come close to

people in mutual respectpeople in mutual respect And by addressing the life issues that really matter to usAnd by addressing the life issues that really matter to us Suffering and fears are the sacred fires that make us human Suffering and fears are the sacred fires that make us human

and bring us to lifeand bring us to life It is up to us to show how these can burn safely and not It is up to us to show how these can burn safely and not

destroydestroy In order to transform and transcend them we have to make In order to transform and transcend them we have to make

human understanding central to all we do. human understanding central to all we do.

Meaning and PurposeMeaning and Purpose Find out what is meaningful to you. Find out what is meaningful to you. Find out what your purpose in life is.Find out what your purpose in life is. Work for it in truth and with dedication.Work for it in truth and with dedication. Come what may..Come what may..

  DESIRES FEARS VALUES

PHYSICAL life death vitality

SOCIAL love hate reciprocity

PERSONAL identity freedom integrity

SPIRITUAL good evil transparency

Human values rediscovered.Human values rediscovered.

Four dimensions and resilienceFour dimensions and resilience

Physical: how do we manage our physical Physical: how do we manage our physical space?space?

Social: how do we relate to other people?Social: how do we relate to other people? Personal: how do we define ourselves?Personal: how do we define ourselves? Spiritual: what are the values we adhere to?Spiritual: what are the values we adhere to?

Spiritual:Integrate what has happened in world view

Improve rather than give up values, beliefs, purpose, meaning.Stick with what is true.

Personal:Allow the event to strengthen your character

Express thoughts and memories. Regain a sense of freedom in relation to adversity.Learn to yield as well as be resolute.

Social:Seek to go beyond hateful and destructive relations by isolation and avoidance till

Reconciliation is possible. Seek belonging with like minded allies.Communicate your emotions without reproach, resentment, bitterness.

Physical:

Seek safety when under threat. Trust and heed sensations of stress. Find natural environment that can soothe as

well as expand your horizons.

OVERCOMING TRAUMAOVERCOMING TRAUMA

UmweltUmwelt MitweltMitwelt EigenweltEigenwelt UberweltUberwelt

PhysicalPhysicalsurvivalsurvival

NatureNature ThingsThings BodyBody CosmosCosmos

SocialSocialaffiliationaffiliation

PublicPublic OthersOthers EgoEgo CultureCulture

PersonalPersonalidentityidentity

PrivatePrivate MeMe SelfSelf ConsciousnessConsciousness

SpiritualSpiritualmeaningmeaning

Sacred Sacred GodGod SoulSoul TranscendenceTranscendence

Different dimensions of the four spheres Different dimensions of the four spheres of existenceof existence

Reclaiming your spaceReclaiming your space

Finding fluidity, peace Finding fluidity, peace

freedom and purpose. freedom and purpose.

Websites.Websites.

www.existentialpsychotherapy.netwww.dilemmas.orgwww.nspc.org.ukwww.septimus.infowww.psychotherapytraining.netwww.emmyvandeurzen.comFacebook/LinkedIn: Existential Therapy