Family CommunicationCohesion and Change

Ninth Edition

Kathleen M. Galvin

Northwestern University

Dawn O. Braithwaite

University of Nebraska-Lincoln

Carma L. Bylund

Hamad Medical Corporation

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication DataGalvin, Kathleen M. Family communication : cohesion and change / Kathleen M. Galvin, Northwestern University, Carma L. Bylund, Hamad Medical Center, Doha, Qatar, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, Dawn O. Braithwaite, University of Nebraska. pages cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN-13: 978-0-205-94523-8 ISBN-10: 0-205-94523-6 1. Communication in families—United States. 2. Interpersonal communication— United States. I. Title. HQ734.G19 2015 306.85—dc23 2013047760

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

ISBN 10: 0-205-94523-6ISBN 13: 978-0-205-94523-8

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To my family: the Galvins, Wilkinsons, Nicholsens, and Sullivans,

plus the special friends I consider as my family. KMG

To all my families—adoptive, stepfamily, voluntary, beagle—

and especially my husband, Chuck. Thanks to all of you, it’s

a wonderful life. DOB

To the many people I am privileged to call family, especially Greg,

Thurman, Nicholas, and Madeline. CLB

DeDication

iii

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iv

1 Introduction to the Family 1

2 Framework for Family Communication 24

3 Family Theories 57

4 Communication Patterns and the Creation of Family Identity 82

5 Relational Maintenance within Families 110

6 Intimacy within Partnerships and Families 131

7 Communication and Family Roles and Types 155

8 Power, Influence, and Decision-Making in Families 179

9 Communication and Family Conflict 208

10 Communication and Family Developmental Stresses 242

11 Family Communication and Unpredictable Stress 278

12 Family Communication and Well-Being 308

Brief contents

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v

Preface ix

1 Introduction to the Family 1

Families: Definitional Issues 4

Families: Current Status 12

Functional Families 20

Conclusion 22

In Review 22

2 Framework for Family Communication 24

The Communication Process 26

Communication Patterns and Family Functions 31

A Framework for Examining Family Communication 54

Conclusion 55

In Review 56

3 Family Theories 57

The Systems Perspective 59

Social Construction/Symbolic Interaction 69

Relational Dialectics 71

Narrative Theory/Narrative Performance Theory 74

Communication Privacy Management Theory 78

Conclusion 81

In Review 81

4 Communication Patterns and the Creation of Family Identity 82

Relational Cultures 83

Communication Patterns That Influence Family Meanings 86

Conclusion 108

In Review 108

contents

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vi Contents

5 Relational Maintenance within Families 110

Relational Maintenance 111

Relational Maintenance Strategies 116

Conclusion 130

In Review 130

6 Intimacy within Partnerships and Families 131

Commitment 134

Self-Expression: Disclosure and Nonverbal Affection 136

Sexuality and Communication 142

Intimacy Factors: Effort, Sacrifice, Forgiveness, and Sanctification 148

Barriers to Intimacy 151

Maintaining Intimacy across Diverse Family Forms 153

Conclusion 154

In Review 154

7 Communication and Family Roles and Types 155

Specific Role Functions 157

The Role Appropriation Process 167

Couple and Family Typologies 173

Conclusion 177

In Review 178

8 Power, Influence, and Decision-Making in Families 179

Power 181

Influence 191

Decision-Making 196

Conclusion 207

In Review 207

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Contents vii

9 Communication and Family Conflict 208

The Process of Conflict 210

Factors in Family Conflict 220

Unresolved Conflict 226

Destructive Conflict 228

Constructive Conflict 236

Conclusion 241

In Review 241

10 Communication and Family Developmental Stresses 242

Overview of Family Change 244

Family Stages and Life-Course Issues 249

Transitions between Stages 275

Conclusion 276

In Review 277

11 Family Communication and Unpredictable Stress 278

Unpredictable Stress and Family Coping Patterns 280

Communication and Specific Crises 289

Support and Communication 304

Conclusion 306

In Review 307

12 Family Communication and Well-Being 308

Family Communication and Physical Well-Being 310

Difficult Conversations on Current Issues 317

Approaches for Improving Family Communication 328

Final Perspectives 336

Conclusion 338

In Review 339

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viii Contents

References 340

Photo Credits 381

Name Index 383

Subject Index 393

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ix

It is with amazement and a deep sense of gratitude that we introduce the ninth edition of Family Communication: Cohesion and Change. The first edition, published over 30 years ago, represented the first textbook to explore the family from a communi-cation perspective. At that time few communication classes addressed the subject, and only a small number of communication scholars conducted research in the area. Currently, most communication departments in colleges and universities offer one or more courses on the subject at both the undergraduate and graduate levels. The field has progressed from an early period when marital communication dominated the research agenda to the present when scholars address interaction within multiple family forms; there is a research journal devoted to family communication scholarship, and the number of family communication scholars and students is at an all-time high.

The authorship team has changed over these years. Kathleen M. Galvin initiated the book project in 1980 and the first copy was published in 1982. Bernard J. Brommel served as coauthor on the first five editions; Carma L. Bylund assumed that role for the next three editions. Dawn O. Braithwaite joined Galvin and Bylund as the second author for this ninth edition.

Historically, family interactions have received scholarly attention from fam-ily therapists, academic psychologists, and sociologists, who studied family issues at the macro level. Today, family scholars rely on a wide range of theories developed within the family communication field and in areas of social sciences. Contemporary scholars address questions related to family members’ interactions within a wide range of family forms and address interactions across the life span and within multiple cul-tures, relying on theories developed within the social sciences as well as those devel-oped by family communication researchers. Today’s scholars undertake their studies using multiple quantitative and qualitative methodologies that have grown increas-ingly sophisticated with each passing decade. As an increasing number of communica-tion scholars focus on family interaction, their findings contribute increased depth and insight to each edition of the book.

Our basic premise remains the same—communication processes create and reflect family systems and family identity. Relying on a range of theoretical perspectives, we examine the communication patterns enacted within families to demonstrate how these patterns affect, and are affected by, family life in the twenty-first century. Our objective focus remains to describe family interaction patterns rather than to pre-scribe specific interaction practices because we believe there are multiple ways to be a well-functioning family. We believe that readers will be in the best position to make their own choices about family communication when they have in-depth and up-to-date information on family interactions processes.

Throughout the book we present a range of family experiences, including introductory case examples that open each chapter, and de-identified real-life examples appear throughout the text. These are first-person examples provided by our students, friends, and family members. These personal examples ground the theory and research in real-life experiences.

Preface

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x Preface

New to This EditionWe made multiple changes in this edition based on feedback from instructors using this book as well as from thoughtful reviewers and comments from our students. Each chapter has been revised to keep pace with changes in the discipline and the state of everyday family life. More specifically we have developed sections that address the following topics: communication challenges in military families, the increasing impact of new technologies on family interaction, shifts in structured aging patterns to highly flexible ones. We have also paid increased attention to inter-national and ethnic families as well as to national crisis situations.

In addition to updating the research base in every chapter, we now begin each chapter with learning objectives readers can expect to address. Other changes include the following:

Chapter 1: Expanded the “Families: current status” section and the discussion of emerging family forms

Chapter 2: Updated the primary and secondary functions frameworkChapter 3: Updated the description of theories with a special focus on advances in

relational dialectics theoryChapter 4: Added a new mediated section to networks and expanded the narrative

section addressing varied family forms and storytelling practicesChapter 5: Added a section on respect and expanded the rituals sectionChapter 6: Expanded the treatment of diversity and sexualityChapter 7: Explored the increasing complexity of family and gender rolesChapter 8: Developed the focus on power as negotiated in interaction across different

family formsChapter 9: Expanded the discussion of conflicts as managed rather than resolved and

the characteristics of negotiating conflict as an interpersonal family processChapter 10: Enlarged the discussion of the role of communication in life stages and

across the life courseChapter 11: Added a section on communication challenges in military familiesChapter 12: Revised and updated the discussion of genetics and family

communication

FeaturesAs in earlier editions, the first three chapters establish the theoretical foundations of the text. Chapter 1 presents an introduction to communication, discourse-dependent families, and family concepts as well as an elaborate overview of the current state of the family. Chapter 2 depicts and discusses a framework for analyzing family com-munication that threads through the remaining chapters. It also includes a discus-sion of family-of-origin patterns because they link directly to the framework patterns. Chapter 3 examines key theories emphasizing systems theory, which undergirds the text, as well as social constructionism/symbolic interaction, relational dialectics theory, narrative theory, and communication privacy management theory. Chapter 4 explores the communicative construction of family identity through family patterns and mean-ings, including communication rules, family secrets, communication networks, and

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Preface xi

narratives. Chapter 5 addresses partner and family relational maintenance strategies; these include confirmation, respect, rituals, and relational currencies. Chapter 6 focuses on developing intimacy; topics include commitment, self-disclosure, sexual-ity, other factors including forgiveness, and barriers to intimacy. Chapter 7 discusses the nature and enactment of family roles and of family typologies. Chapter 8 focuses on power and decision-making, while Chapter 9 discusses conflict, including conflict models and patterns, both destructive and constructive. Chapters 10 and 11 focus on both predictable and unpredictable family stresses. Predictable stress includes man-aging family developmental stages and the transitions between these stages; unpre-dictable stress refers to coping with the unforeseen, and usually negative, challenges including death, illness, divorce, and separation due to military deployment, as well as social support. Finally, Chapter 12 examines physical and psychological aspects of family well-being and discusses three emerging areas of future research. The first section examines communication about family health, followed by a discussion of the capacity to hold difficult dialogues, and, finally, psychological well-being and approaches to improving family communication.

Instructor and Student ResourcesHaley Kranstuber Horstman at the University of Missouri has thoroughly updated the Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank (0205945333) to accompany this edition. The Instructor’s Manual portion of the IM/TB includes the following resources for each chapter: Brief Summary, Key Terms, Discussions and Exercises, and Media Illustrations. The Test Bank contains approximately 500 multiple-choice, true/false, and essay questions, all of which are organized by chapter. A downloadable version of this supplement is available at www.pearsonhighered.com/irc (access code required). For a complete listing of the instructor and student resources available with this text, please visit the Family Communication e-catalog page at www. pearsonhighered.com.

This text is available in a variety of formats—digital and print. To learn more about Pearson programs, pricing, and customization options, visit www.pearsonhigh-ered.com.

AcknowledgmentsWe continue to be grateful to Pearson editors and editorial staff, specifically Melissa Mashburn, Amanda Zagnoli, Maggie Brobeck, George Jacob, and, as always, Karon Bowers. We thank our insightful reviewers who provided highly detailed and thoughtful feedback on the last edition and we applaud them: Vickie Harvey, California State University, Stanislaus; Jennifer T. Isaac, Normandale Community College; Daniel M. Paulnock, Saint Paul College; Julie Simanski, Des Moines Area Community College; Joseph Velasco, Sul Ross State University. We are also grateful for the contributions of those who reviewed earlier editions. For this edition we are most grateful to Haley Kranstuber Horstman, University of Missouri, for her devel-opment of this edition’s excellent Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank. In addition, we relied heavily on the creative and organized support of Madaline Goldstein,

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xii Preface

a Northwestern University student; Kathy Thorne, University of Nebraska-Lincoln, for her substantial work on the bibliographic citations in the book; and Kaitlin Phillips, University of Nebraska- Lincoln, for her highly detailed revision of the bibliography. Finally, we remain thankful to all our students, colleagues, and friends who continue to expand our horizons in discussions regarding the fascinating subject of family communication.

Our own family lives have changed significantly over the past decades, a reality that continually teaches us the importance of understanding family communication including basic interaction patterns in family systems, relationship maintenance and intimacy, conflict management, developmental and unpredictable changes, and adapt-ing to societal changes. To our growing number of family members, related to us by biological, legal, and discursive ties, we express our continued gratitude for their patience, support, and unwitting contributions to some examples in the book! Through our ongoing interactions with our students and our own research projects, we continue to learn firsthand about family interaction patterns in multiple contexts. As each year passes we increasingly appreciate what it means to function as members of complex family systems.

We hope that you will be captured by the importance and complexity of fam-ily communication and that you will find the study of family interactions to be a thought-provoking and meaningful experience.

Kathleen M. Galvin

Northwestern University

Dawn O. Braithwaite

University of Nebraska-Lincoln

Carma L. Bylund

Hamad Medical Corporation

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