extended response: written imaginative — othello … · 2017-06-08 · extended response: written...

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Extended response: Written imaginative — Othello This sample is intended to inform the design of assessment instruments in the senior phase of learning. It highlights the qualities of student work and the match to the syllabus standards.

Dimensions assessed · Understanding and responding to contexts

· Understanding and controlling textual features

· Creating and evaluating meaning

Assessment instrument The response presented in this sample is in response to an assessment task

Context In this unit, you have read and analysed a Shakespearean play and have explored the ways that Elizabethan ideas, attitudes and values are represented in the text. In particular, you have focused on representations of religion, social hierarchies (including the Great Chain of Being), race and love, and how Elizabethan and contemporary audiences might be influenced by the play. Task Adopt the role of a character from a Shakespearean play. Write an epistolary narrative to another character which fills a gap in the original text. You will need to use ideas, attitudes and values appropriate to the context in which your letter is written in order to influence your audience. You should use relevant aesthetic and textual features to achieve your purpose and may use quotations from the play to support your creation of character. You may choose to set your narrative at the conclusion of the play, prior to the play or at a point in the play which has significance for your character. Genre: Epistolary narrative (personal letter containing an embedded narrative) Role: Student as character from a Shakespearean play Audience: Recipient of letter Purpose: To create, to represent Length: 800–1200 words

English 2010 Sample assessment instrument and student responses

Clear directions regarding Dimension three

Opportunities to demonstrate Dimension one are provided

Dimension two


Queensland Curriculum & Assessment Authority October 2014

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Instrument-specific standards matrix While the instrument provided opportunities to demonstrate the standards A–E, this student response has been matched to Standard B and Standard C. For more information about the syllabus dimensions and standards descriptors, see www.qcaa.qld.edu.au/11703-assessment.html.

The on-balance judgments for this response are found on p.7 — Making judgments within dimensions.

Standard A

Understanding and

responding to contexts

The student work has the following characteristics:

· exploitation of genre patterns and conventions of an epistolary narrative to achieve specific purposes

· discerning selection, organisation and synthesis of relevant and substantive subject matter to support perspectives

· manipulation and control of role of the letter writer and relationship with recipient.

Understanding and controlling textual features


· a discerning combination of a range of grammatically accurate language structures for specific effects, including clauses and sentences

· discerning use of cohesive devices to develop and emphasise ideas and connect parts of the epistolary narrative, including paragraphing

· discerning use of a wide range of apt vocabulary for specific purposes

· discerning use of features to achieve specific effects: - conventional spelling and punctuation.

Creating and evaluating meaning


· discerning manipulation of the ways ideas, attitudes and values underpin the epistolary narrative and influence audiences

· subtle and complex creation of perspectives and representations of concepts, identities, times and places

· discerning use of aesthetic features to achieve specific purposes in an epistolary narrative.

Note: Annotations to show the match of the qualities of the student response with the standards descriptors within each dimension are shaded by dimension: Dimension one, Dimension two and Dimension three.

The Creating meaning objectives of Dimension three are assessed. Students are creating meaning in their own text (an epistolary narrative), not evaluating the meaning in Shakespeare’s play.

http://www.qcaa.qld.edu.au/xxxx.html

http://www.qcaa.qld.edu.au/xxxx.html



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Student response — Standard A The annotations show the match to the instrument-specific standards.

Comments

San Marco 4137,

Venice,

26th July, 1603

Macario, My Dear Boy,

I trust you’ve been well since our last correspondence. I am most glad of your successes in Roncade. Promotion to lieutenant is unusual for one so young, but to those with knowledge of your bravery and talents, this is anything but astonishing. Your father would be immensely proud of you. However, Macario, I am afraid that I do not write only to praise your efforts. The true port of this letter is to beseech you to return to Venice and my Desdemona.

As your god-father, your padrino, I have always considered you a son. When we lost your father, my fellow senator, dear friend and one of the finest men in Venice, I only hope I was a fair surrogate to you. Seven months ago, when you asked me for Desdemona’s hand, words could not describe my joy. Her refusal broke my heart as much as yours. I am bereft that you left Venice as a result.

Since then, both fitting and dreadfully unfitting suitors have sought Desdemona and have left likewise disappointed. I was certain she was to die a maid. How I wish that were now the truth, for my sweet Desdemona has fallen under the spell of that Barbary horse, Othello.

I have seen them together, talking merrily in the courtyard. She is in love, Macario. I know it.

I must admit — he is most impressive. So desired is he that it took three requests for him to accede to our senate’s plea for his service. It pains me to admit that I oft invited him to dine and pressed him to regale us with stories of his adventures. His tales of both battle and misfortune enchanted Desdemona, and I too, fell under his spell.

Comments exploitation of genre patterns and conventions of an epistolary narrative to achieve specific purposes

manipulation and control of role of the letter writer and relationship with recipient

discerning selection, organisation and synthesis of relevant and substantive subject matter to support perspectives (attitudes about individuals and groups used to construct and support perspectives)



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Comments discerning manipulation of the ways ideas, attitudes and values underpin the epistolary narrative and influence audiences

(attitudes about power, gender, class manipulated to influence recipient of letter)

discerning use of cohesive devices to develop and emphasise ideas and connect parts of the epistolary narrative, including paragraphing (use of dates and times to connect the narrative)

discerning use of a wide range of apt vocabulary for specific purposes

Macario, while he is a laudable general and deserves every credit, he is not worthy of my Desdemona. I have spoken firmly with her, that she must beware the Moor as it is in his nature to be barbaric. She laughed and said that while I am her lord of duty, it is Othello who is lord of her heart. She should know better Macario; I have taught her that none but a nobleman is worthy. Her connection to such an infidel pains me and it is my duty as a father to prevent it. Lest you think it is envy or hatred that troubles me so, I must tell you a story, Macario — one I have never told Desdemona — it is much too vulgar to tell a woman, especially one as pure as her.

A quarter century ago, when I was just a boy, there was an influx of Moors to Venice — mainly soldiers and labourers, defined by their calloused hands and feet. We Venetians were taught to despise these slaves of our state. Macario, I knew this to be wrong and tried to consider them peers, but a terrible event taught me that one must be extremely cautious around foreigners to our state, as they manifest the evils in the world.

My mother’s sister, Luciana, whom Desdemona much resembles, lived with us until my eighth year. A second mother to Gratiano and me, naturally, we reciprocated her love and affection. In the late summer of 1578, my Zia Luciana was substantially altered. Often she would come home late into the night to find me waiting for her to sing me to sleep. Though I cannot recall much detail of those nights, I distinctly remember her glorious mood. However, one particular night, a week or two prior to my eighth birthday, is clear in my memory.

She returned at midnight and we sat together in the garden. The night air was the perfect point between warm and cool and the stars were a million specks of diamond and silver, epitomising the beauty of God’s creation. Luciana was especially happy that night; she whispered,

“Love is the most powerful magic, Brabantio. When love presents itself, no matter her appearance, welcome her with open arms.”

My eighth birthday was almost perfect. Zia Luciana’s gift was magnificent — a silver pendant shaped into angel wings. She said, a look of melancholy in her eyes, that it would protect me and give me the freedom to love whomever I desired. I could sense a shift.

The next day, she left us to start a life with her one ‘true love’, a Moor named Aamil, a lowly labourer. My mother yelled angrily,

Comments subtle and complex creation of perspectives and representations of concepts, identities, times and places

(representations of individuals and groups aligned with attitudes and values of Shakespearean times) discerning use of aesthetic features to achieve specific purposes in an epistolary narrative



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Comments discerning use of a wide range of apt vocabulary for specific purposes

a discerning combination of a range of grammatically accurate language structures for specific effects, including clauses and sentences

“Has the Moor robbed you of your senses, Luciana? Are you incapable of seeing him for who he is? Someone not fit enough to lick your shoe! It’s a sin against nature, I tell you!”

Mamma told her that if she left for the Moor, we would be disgraced and she would never be permitted to return. To this, Zia Luciana simply replied,

“Then I shall be free.”

She gathered her things and left, me tailing her with the caution of a thief following his victim. Eventually, we arrived in a part of Venice foreign to me. The acrid smells made me dizzy and the vagrants and dirty children strewn across the streets, assaulted my eyes. Zia met with the Moor and they embraced passionately. Frightened, an intruder in a private moment, I ran home in tears, my silver pendant pounding against my chest. Who to trust — Zia, who said that love is to be embraced, or Mamma, who said that to marry one so unworthy is a sin.

Months passed and it was though she had never existed. I however, couldn’t forget my much-loved Zia. Yearning for her, and fascinated at her blatant defiance of God, I snuck out, unnoticed, and returned to the vile area where she and the Moor lived. As I arrived, I heard whimpering, followed by Zia’s desperate plea,

“Please… sto-p; you’ll hurt your unborn son!”

Urgency and love consumed every fibre of my being and I rushed into the house in time to witness the Moor deliver his brutal blow. He stormed out the door, malicious eyes staring straight through me. I stood frozen, until Zia whimpered again. I rushed to her side, and clasped her hands. The two of us sat on the floor for many minutes, crying silently at what we both knew had been lost.

I begged her to come home, but my efforts were futile. She insisted there was a connection between her and the Moor that I couldn’t understand. She promised all would be fine and made me promise not tell a soul. There was nothing else I could do. I visited her when I could (always meeting in a public place), but opportunities to do so diminished as my studies and training increased.

Comments exploitation of genre patterns and conventions of an epistolary narrative to achieve specific purposes

(use of dialogue to develop narrative)

discerning use of aesthetic features to achieve specific purposes in an epistolary narrative

discerning selection, organisation and synthesis of relevant and substantive subject matter to support perspectives



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Comments

discerning use of cohesive devices to develop and emphasise ideas and connect parts of the epistolary narrative, including paragraphing

discerning manipulation of the ways ideas, attitudes and values underpin the epistolary narrative and influence audiences

(attitudes about difference, family, loyalty manipulated to influence recipient of letter)

On the eve of my fourteenth birthday, I planned to visit my Zia once more. I had heard on the Rialto that she had recently welcomed a son, Brabantio, and I so wanted to meet my cousin. As I was leaving, my mother approached me, disbelief, and sorrow on her face. She said almost inaudibly,

“Luciana is dead, Brabantio. She tried to escape the Moor and, in her haste, did not notice a mad horse galloping towards her. The Barbarian is to blame.”

Zia Luciana’s death changed me irrevocably. You see why it is imperative I protect Desdemona from the Moor Othello? Good women like my Zia, God rest her soul, and my sweet Desdemona are the most vulnerable to the devil in disguise. Othello may appear valiant, and his genius as a general is undeniable, but I cannot allow Desdemona to suffer the same fate as Luciana. Macario, you must come back to my Desdemona at once and secure her happiness, as well as your own. I do believe we can make her see sense.

I am enclosing my pendant. Keep it as a symbol of my loyalty. Make haste – our family’s happiness and Desdemona’s safety depends on you.

Your loving padrino,

Brabantio

Comments discerning use of a wide range of apt vocabulary for specific purposes

exploitation of genre patterns and conventions of an epistolary narrative to achieve specific purposes



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Making judgments within dimensions Student responses have been matched to the instrument-specific standards matrix. On-balance judgment is of a Standard A across the three dimensions.

Standard A

Understanding and

responding to contexts


· exploitation of genre patterns and conventions of an epistolary narrative to achieve specific purposes

· discerning selection, organisation and synthesis of relevant and substantive subject matter to support perspectives

· manipulation and control of role of the letter writer and relationship with recipient.

Understanding and controlling textual features


· a discerning combination of a range of grammatically accurate language structures for specific effects, including clauses and sentences

· discerning use of cohesive devices to develop and emphasise ideas and connect parts of the epistolary narrative, including paragraphing

· discerning use of a wide range of apt vocabulary for specific purposes

· discerning use of features to achieve specific effects: - conventional spelling and punctuation.

Creating and evaluating meaning


· discerning manipulation of the ways ideas, attitudes and values underpin the epistolary narrative and influence audiences

· subtle and complex creation of perspectives and representations of concepts, identities, times and places

· discerning use of aesthetic features to achieve specific purposes in an epistolary narrative

Key: Dimension one Dimension two Dimension three Note: Colour highlights have been used in the table to emphasise the qualities that discriminate between the standards.

Acknowledgments The QCAA acknowledges the contribution of MacGregor State High School in the preparation of this document.

extended response: written imaginative — othello … · 2017-06-08 · extended response: written...

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