eng4u exemplars

14 January 2011

ENG4U Writing Exemplars Moderated Marking

Lawrence Park CI, Northern Secondary School, Forest Hill CI,

William Lyon Mackenzie CI

ENG4U Writing Exemplars 2011

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Acknowledgements These materials were created by a moderated marking partnership of Lawrence Park CI,

Northern secondary School, Forest Hill CI and William Lyon Mackenzie CI. The

development of these resources was part of Lawrence Park CI’s English Faculty

Professional Learning Community. These resources are covered under the Creative

Commons Attribution Non‐Commercial 3.0 License. Permission is given to share and

reproduce these materials for non‐commercial uses.

Writers / Markers Cory Antonini – Lawrence Park Collegiate Institute

Edward Lee – Forest Hill Collegiate Institute

Carla Mancini – William Lyon Mackenzie Collegiate Institute

Robert Mancini – Lawrence Park Collegiate Institute

Dara Siegal – Northern Secondary School

School Host Principal Lillian Jovanovic – Lawrence Park Collegiate institute

Project Organizers Cory Antonini – Lawrence Park Collegiate institute

Robert Mancini – Lawrence Park Collegiate institute

Published by

Cory Antonini

Question and comments should be directed to:

Cory Antonini

416 393 9500

[email protected]

This document is also online at www.antonini.ca/english/exemplars

Acknowledgements


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Contents 1. Introduction ............................................................................................................................... 4

2. Features of this Document ........................................................................................................ 5

3. Ministry Documents .................................................................................................................. 6

4. Assignment / Task Documents .................................................................................................. 9

5. Level R ..................................................................................................................................... 15

6. Level 1 Mid (1M) ...................................................................................................................... 17

7. Level 2 Low (2L) ....................................................................................................................... 19

8. Level 2 High (2H)...................................................................................................................... 21

9. Level 3 Mid (3M) ...................................................................................................................... 24

10. Level 3 High (3H)...................................................................................................................... 27

11. Level 4 Low (4L) ....................................................................................................................... 30

12. Level 4 High (4H)...................................................................................................................... 34

Contents


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1. Introduction

Purpose of Writing Exemplars

The exemplars in this document will help students, parents and teachers assess and

monitor students’ progress. These exemplars were developed to:

show the characteristics of written work at each of the four levels of achievement

for grade 12, university English;

promote greater consistency in the assessment of student work;

show the connections between curriculum expectations, assignment criteria and

student work;

demonstrate writing skills of each learning category;

to provide a framework of descriptive feedback and “next steps” that will help

students move toward higher levels of achievement.

Teachers, parents and students are encouraged to examine the student samples and

teacher comments to develop a clearer understanding the characteristics of each level of

achievement. English faculties are encouraged to use the samples as an assessment

calibration tool.

Teachers, parents and students are also encouraged to examine the following exemplar

sets:

Grade 9 English Exemplars from the Ontario Ministry of Education

http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/curriculum/secondary/english9ex/

Grade 10 OSSLT (literacy test) Samples, Rubrics and Annotations

http://www.eqao.com/pdf_e/10/OSSLTPublicRelease_Booklets.pdf

Grade 11 English Exemplars from the Ontario ministry of Education

http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/curriculum/secondary/english11ex/

Marking methodology

The samples in this document are actual student work. The samples are a unit

culminating activity (essay) based on the “Beauty and Truth” unit from TDSB’s ENG4U

Course of Study, 2002. The moderated marking process consisted of the following:

Markers were provided with assignment documents (prior unit tasks and

expectations, reading charts, graphic organizers, rubrics and assignment criteria)

as well as Ministry documents (English achievement charts and curriculum

expectations).

All samples were assessed using the Ontario Achievement Chart for English.

Markers assessed and discussed numerous samples; the samples here were

agreed upon as works that best represent particular levels of achievement.

Introduction


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Descriptive feedback and assessment comments we recorded for each particular

level of achievement. Each exemplar also included “next steps” for improvement.

2. Features of this Document

This document contains the following:

levels of achievement (from the Ministry’s Growing Success, 2010)

achievement chart form the Ministry’s English Curriculum 11‐12

prior learning and activities (graphic organizer)

a description of the assignment (student hand‐out)

assignment criteria and assessment framework (learning categories)

student rubric by English Curriculum Strand

student samples at various levels of achievement

each sample is followed by teacher’s comments (organized by learning category and curriculum expectation) and “next steps”

Document Features


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3. Ministry Documents

Achievement Levels1

Achievement Level

Percentage Mark Range

Achievement Level

Percentage Mark Range

4 H 95–100 2 H 67–69 4 M 87–94 2 M 63–66 4 L 80–86 2 L 60–62 3 H 77–79 1 H 57–59 3 M 73–76 1 M 53–56 3 L 70–72 1 L 50–52 R <50 *Note: Level 3 is the “Provincial Standard.” Level 1 is far below standard. Level 2 is approaching standard. Level 4 identifies achievement that surpasses the standard.

Achievement Chart for English 9‐122

1 Growing Success, 2010. Ontario Ministry of Education 2 The Ontario Curriculum Grades 11 and 12: English, 2007

Ministry Documents


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Ministry Documents


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Ministry Documents


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4. Assignment / Task Documents

Student hand‐out

ENG4U – Truth and Beauty Summative Essay

Now that we have investigated various texts that explore the themes of Truth and Beauty, you will plan, write and polish a multi paragraph essay. Your essay directive is: Compare and/or contrast the ways in which three artists/writers explore concepts of Truth or Beauty. Note: students should focus on either Truth or Beauty.

Writing Process Steps: 1. Construct your thesis statement: review your graphic organizers and reading charts to find a common element(s) among three works. Look for an element of Truth or Beauty that you can compare and/or contrast. 2. Find and record textual support for your argument (be sure to record MLA citations). 3. Outline your Introduction, body paragraphs and conclusions. 4. Prepare your essay cue card. Your cue card must contain only your thesis statement and literary quotations. 5. Essay draft #1 will be written during a 75 minute class on ________________. 6. The following class will be used for a peer edit. 7. You will polish your essay at home and submit it to turnitin.com on ______________. *see rubric and evaluation framework for assessment criteria

Evaluation Framework

Instructional Tasks

Pre-Writing:

- vocabulary expansion - individual written definitions of Truth or Beauty (museum assignment) - instruction and activities around elements of poetry (poetic devices, forms, structure, elements of style) - full group discussions, small group analysis of works, lectures on course readings (poems, essays, visuals.) - Truth and Beauty mind maps and graphic organizers for readings - formative assessment of thesis statements and outlines

Assignment Documents


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- MLA style taught; MLA handout provided and used while writing final essay - direct instruction on essay conventions (structure and organization of introduction, conclusion and body paragraphs; embedding quotations and argument development. - essay exemplars given (levels 2-4); rubrics reviewed

Final Product/Expectation

- 5 paragraph (or multi-paragraph) analytical/literary essay that discusses the ways in which three writers/artist explore concepts of truth or beauty. Students were encouraged to find a common theme among the works or to compare and contrast the works - argument supported by evidence and analysis - demonstrate an understanding of elements of poetry and style (i.e. poetic devices, diction, terminology, form and structure) - 3rd POV, formal academic tone - Language conventions (grammar, spelling, punctuation) - examine a minimum of three works - embed quotations; MLA documentation - first draft written in class; the polished draft was written at home and submitted to turnitin.com

Curriculum Expectations

Knowledge/Understanding

- demonstrate knowledge of elements of poetry forms and features (i.e. poetic devices, diction, terminology, form and structure) - demonstrate understanding of works studied (theme, purpose and style) - demonstrate knowledge and understanding of essay form (i.e. analytical form, compare and contrast form, persuasive form)

Thinking/Inquiry

- Make effective arguments in a way that demonstrates critical analysis of works. - Present arguments in a way that demonstrates understanding of audience and purpose - Create a challenging thesis appropriate to the purpose and audience - Fully develop arguments with effective evidence and analysis - Develop arguments that fully satisfy the thesis

Communication

- express thoughts, ideas and analysis in a clear and logical manner - create coherence between sentence and paragraphs (transitions, hooks) - effectively embed quotations into the fabric of essay - use an effective organizational framework for introduction, body and conclusion



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- use diction and phrasing appropriate to grade, purpose and audience - use formal style conventions (POV, tone, subject specific terminology) - use and control of language conventions (grammar, punctuation and spelling)

Application

- apply rules and conventions of the MLA Style Guide to finished work



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Rubrics

Grade 12 Strand: Writing Name:


Achievement Categories

K/U, T/I, C, A

"R" Below Level 1

D: Level 1 (50 ‐ 59%)

C: Level 2 (60 ‐ 69%)

B: Level 3 (70 ‐ 79%)

A: Level 4 (80 – 100%)

1L 1M 1H 2L 2M 2H 3L 3M 3H 4L 4M 4H 50‐52%

53‐56%

57‐59%

60‐62%

63‐66%

67‐69%

70‐72%

73‐76%

77‐79%

80‐86%

87‐94%

95‐100%

1. D

ev. & Org. Content

□ introduc on and conclusion

C, A

complete introductory & concluding paragraphs.

complete introductory & concluding paragraphs with both using effective structure

as in Level 2, but a minimal sense of repetitiveness and a hook for reader’s interest

as in Level 3, but organizing principle is effective and fully developed.

□ thesis T/I , K/U

undemanding but clear thesis

thesis expresses sufficient purpose/argument

thesis expresses a well structured, appropriate argument.

as in 3 but written economically and/or stylistically

□ paragraph structure

C

topic and concluding sentences are identifiable

topic and concluding sentences identifiable and non‐repetitive

topic and concluding. sentences expressed effectively and non‐repetitively

as in 3 and are stylistically embedded into fabric of paragraph

□ content organization

C

content adequately embedded and organized

clear attempt at embedding and organizing content

clear overall structure used to embed and organize content

content seamlessly embedded and organized

□ research & idea development.

T/I , K/U, A

adequate idea development

competent idea development.

good idea development.

exceptional idea developed

2. Form

& Style

□ voice, tone and diction

C

adequately selects language/register to suit audience/purpose; POV inconsistent

competently selects language/register to suit audience/purpose; POV mostly consistent

effectively selects language/register/POV to suit audience/purpose

exceptional use of language/register/POV to suit audience/purpose.

□ sentence cra C

adequately varies sentence types to communicate most ideas clearly

varies sentence types and lengths to communicate ideas clearly

effectively varies sentence types and lengths to communicate clearly and to suit purpose and audience

wide variety of sentence types and lengths communicate clearly, accurately and suit purpose and audience

□ coherence C infrequent use of transitions and hooks.

somewhat effective transition and hook use

transitions and/or hooks create logical connections between ideas and paragraphs

transitions and hooks create unified and coherent writing

3. C

onventions

□ grammar, punctuation and spelling

C

adequate spelling, grammar and punctuation

satisfactory spelling, grammar and punctuation

very few or no spelling, grammar and punctuation errors.

as in 3 but uses grammar or punctuation to enhance meaning and/or style

□ producing finished work

C, A

adequately follows formatting/ layout/ editing conventions of written work, including MLA citation

competently follows formatting/ layout/ editing conventions of written work, including MLA citation

very few errors in formatting/ layout/ editing conventions of written work, including MLA citation

strictly adheres to formatting/ layout/ editing conventions of written work, including MLA citation



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Grade 12 Strand: Reading and Literature Name:


Achievement Categories

K/U, T/I, C, A

"R" Below Level 1

D: Level 1 (50 ‐ 59%)

C: Level 2 (60 ‐ 69%)

B: Level 3 (70 ‐ 79%)

A: Level 4 (80 – 100%)

1L 1M 1H 2L 2M 2H 3L 3M 3H 4L 4M 4H 50‐52%

53‐56%

57‐59%

60‐62%

63‐66%

67‐69%

70‐72%

73‐76%

77‐79%

80‐86%

87‐94%

95‐100%

1. R

ead

ing For Mean

ing

□ understanding of course material and purpose

K/U

reads course materials with some understanding of theme & purpose.

reads course materials with satisfactory understanding of theme & purpose.

reads course materials proficiently & understands theme & purpose

reads course materials with thorough, insightful understanding of theme & purpose

□ evidence to support argument/thesis/ purpose

T/I

some general supporting or specific evidence.

supporting and some specific evidence given but incomplete to establish point

supporting and/or specific evidence appropriate for establishing point.

supporting/specific evidence well chosen; point established forcefully and economically

□ inferences; analysing and evaluating texts

T/I

some attempt to analyse how evidence supports point

analysis is on target but incomplete

analysis is complete and point is established

analysis is complete, insightful and clearly supported

2. Form

& Style

□ text forms and features

K/U, T/I, A

recognizes few characteristics of text forms and/or features; attempts explanation of contribution to meaning

identifies 1 or 2 characteristics of text forms and/or features; adequately explains contribution to meaning

accurately identifies characteristics of text forms and features; explains how they help communicate meaning

identifies a variety of characteristics of text forms and features; explains how they help communicate meaning

□ elements of style

K/U, T/I, A

identifies 1 or 2 elements of style in texts; little to no explanation of how they help communicate meaning of the texts

identifies two or more elements of style in texts; attempts to explain how they help communicate meaning of the texts

identifies elements of style in texts; explains how they help communicate meaning and enhance the effectiveness of texts

identifies a variety of elements of style in texts; explains how they help communicate meaning and enhance the effectiveness of the texts

3. R

ead

ing Fluency

□ vocabulary development; reading familiar and unfamiliar words.

K/U, C, A

is developing grade appropriate vocabulary

has an adequate grade and purpose appropriate vocabulary.

uses and understands grade and purpose appropriate vocabulary

uses and understands an extensive and expanding grade and purpose appropriate vocabulary



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Graphic Organizer



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5. Level R

Beauty Essay

There is always that one moment in someones life that defines them.From a presidential

win to an athelete breaking a world record, there is always that breath taking moment in

peoples lives. It is when they feel good about them selves and nothing can get in the way

of it. Even after they have passed away, their life will still be very much alive. If someone

has made a good life for themselves most likely their attitude has either affected

someone elses, or made a huge impression on the communities around them. Life is a

lens that illuminates the moments uptill inveitable death, life is simpily beautiful.

In 1892 science and technology were not advanced like they are today. There was

no high resolution lens and telescopes to see into space. This ment there was a very

bleak knowledge of life outside earth. In 1892 Walt Whitman wrote a poem about what

he thought of science. The essay by Science and beauty by Isaac Asminov explains how

withman felt. whitman was tired of all the number and graphs, he would rather just sit

on a hill and take a look at the stars. In 1892 there was some knowledge of space but it

didnt convince anyone. Asminov,"Should i stare at one leaf and willingly remain ignorant

to the whole forest? Should i be satisfied to watch the sun gliting off a single pebble and

scorn any knowledge of a beach?". This quote shows that asminov felt the universe is

much more diverse and important that whitman thought. Since 1892 and even before

then scientists are working on figuring out the wonders of out earth and solar system.

Even though many of these scientists have passed away all their hard work is very much

alive in textbooks and notes, this is a example of how even though they have passed they

still pass their experience and aspects of their life to others, making their life an element

of beauty.

Taking criticism is part of being a poet. Italian poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti wrote the

poem "Constantly risiking absurdity and death". The poem is a big methaphor for a poets

life. when a poem is read many will critisize the poem. Ferlighetti wrote there is

someone on a high wire and can fall at any second, this is symbolic to himself. When

someone critisizes a poet it will hurt their chances of being a succesfull poet, death is not

physical death in this case but symbolic death to the end of his career. The more and

more you push someone and hurt them they are soon to "fall to death". Gravity is

symbolic to the critisizers, as they push down on him he must somehow keep himself

balanced.

Level R


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Evaluation Teacher Notes Knowledge/Understanding ‐ Demonstrates very limited knowledge of poetic devices and poetic forms ‐ Demonstrates very limited understanding of works studied ‐ Demonstrates very limited understanding of the essay form Thinking/Inquiry ‐ Demonstrates very limited critical analysis ‐ Presents work with a very limited understanding of purpose and audience ‐ Insufficient argument with a very limited analysis (essay is incomplete) ‐ Thesis is not connected to purpose and audience Communication ‐ Incomplete execution of introduction and conclusion ‐ Very limited paragraph structure, style and transitions ‐ Lack of quotations; quotations are not integrated within the paragraph structure ‐ Diction and phrasing is insufficient to grade level Application ‐ Limited understanding of MLA rules and conventions

Next Steps for Improvement ‐ Thesis statement should be developed with teacher input ‐ Need to review the terminology of the discipline to develop an academic vocabulary and tone ‐ More critical analysis in paragraph structure (ie. Introduction, Body and Conclusion structure) ‐ Construct an argument that is sufficient for the task assigned ‐ Utilize the writing process more effectively (ie. create a framework, graphic organizer and outline) ‐ More time should be spent on proofreading and editing ‐ Review criteria for assignment and seek extra help for grammar and punctuation

Level R


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6. Level 1 Mid (1M)

Beauty Essay

Many people have plunged into the depths of literature in order to find an answer to

what truth really is. Truth is often portrayed as what the public believes to be real. Although this

is the case, truth is difficult to find in literature because of how abstract it is.

In the poem “The Story”, by Karen Connelly, truth is something that cannot be found.

The poem translates to the idea that the more one seeks for truth, the more one becomes lost

engulfed in the quest for truth and therefore cannot find it. Connelly’s true understanding that

one becomes lost in the search for truth is shown in the lines, “You know you are a fool/ for

having come this far/ You know you could never/ swim fast enough.” (Echoes p.6) This states

that to keep searching for truth is a fool’s game and that once one has gone deep enough in

search for truth, it is then too late to try and escape its hold. In literature there are different

ideas of what truth is and how to show it. The one commonality of all literature involving truth is

that truth is often hard to find and therefore unobtainable.

Truth is also hard to find in the poem “Guilt”, by Leona Gom. In this poem truth and guilt

link together in the way that guilt is the feeling one gets when they do not tell the truth.

Although guilt and truth and distinctly linked together in this poem, the poem still gives the

image that one becomes lost in truth when searching for truth. Gom shows this image in the

lines, the argument with your father about/ not having seen his damned magazine/ then finding

it in your room/ and never admitting it. (Echoes p.10) Gom sends the image of one lying, thereby,

not telling the truth and eventually becoming lost in the lies and guilt that consume one mind.

This consumption is also shown in the lines, thousands of them, little knots/ you can’t shake

loose from your memory/ it’s too late now to say you’re sorry/ they contract along your nerves/

to consciousness, whenever you think/ you are not a bad person, there/ they come, little lumps

of guilt/ making their daily rounds/ like doctors, keeping you sick. (Echoes p.10) Truth and guilt

are linked in the poem, meaning that if you become lost in guilt, you also become lost in truth.

Therefore showing how one can become lost in truth in another way.

In final poem, “This day in History”, by Bert Almon, it is thought that in order to find

truth, one must go back in time. The meaning behind this is, truth existed years ago and to find it

one must dive into history to search for it. This still shows that one become lost in the search for

truth because history is vast and can lead one into its depths, never to be taken back out. The

truth that is found in history is shown in the lines, The radio tells me/ that back in 1950/ the sun

rose blue over Great Britain,/ from forest fires/ in Western Canada. (Echoes p.11) this poem

makes one become lost in the truth of it, rather than the truth in it. One must look for the truth

of the poem and understand how the truth is represented and what it really is. Making one

become lost in the truth of the poem instead of the truth found in poem.

Through these three poems, the importance of truth in literature and how one becomes

lost in the search for truth is shown in absolute detail. Also that truth is still hard to find even

after seeing where it lies and its effect on those who dangerously decide to try and find it.

Level 1 Mid (1M)


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Evaluation

Teacher Notes Knowledge/Understanding ‐ Demonstrates limited knowledge of poetic devices and poetic forms ‐ Demonstrates limited understanding of works studied ‐ Demonstrates limited understanding of the essay form Thinking/Inquiry ‐ Demonstrates limited critical analysis ‐ Presents work with a limited understanding of purpose and audience ‐ Insufficient argument with a limited analysis ‐ Insufficient thesis for purpose and audience Communication ‐ Very limited execution of introduction and conclusion ‐ Very limited paragraph structure, style and transitions ‐ Quotations are insufficiently and awkwardly integrated within the paragraph structure ‐ Diction and phrasing lacks understanding of purpose and audience, inappropriate to grade level ‐ Minimal use of tone and control of language conventions Application ‐ Limited understanding of MLA rules and conventions

Next Steps for Improvement ‐ More detailed thesis statement requiring a greater thematic interconnection ‐ Need to review the terminology of the discipline to develop and academic vocabulary and tone ‐ More critical analysis in paragraph structure (ie. Introduction and Conclusion structure) ‐ Construct an argument that is sufficient for the task assigned ‐ Utilize the writing process more effectively (ie. create a framework, graphic organizer and outline) ‐ More time should be spent on proofreading and editing

Level 1 Mid (1M)


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7. Level 2 Low (2L)

Beauty can not be defined by any particular thing. It is not something that can be found

in the dictionary with a specific answer. It needs to be explored and examined. Beauty

had reason and intelligence. Many authors try to explore and grasp the concept of what

is beautiful. Five pieces of literature stand out in the text Echoes 12 that talk about

beauty; “The Woman I am in my Dreams”, “Candle in the Wind”, “The story”, “Science

and Beauty” and a piece of artwork from “Selections from The One and the Many”.

These pieces of literature represent what beauty truly is. They show that beauty is

history, curiosity, and an imperfect person.

Most things in the world carry a story and have history behind them. All the people in

the world, no matter how young they may be, have story to share. These can be stories

of struggle or success. In Connelly’s poem “The Story,” she explains that each person has

a unique history. She states “each of us will tell a story of scars and ocean, the way you

never know what’s in deeper water” (6). The stories that people have generate an

emotion of things such as hope, sympathy, or passion. People are not the only thing with

history that creates feeling. Things such as the sky and the stars carry an ancient story

that allows one to feel emotion. Isaac Asimov examines how the science and history

linked to the stars make them beautiful. “What I see‐ those quiet, twinkling points of

light‐ is not all the beauty there is.” (Science and Beauty, 311). He is trying to show the

beauty beyond the ascetics of the stars and there is a story behind them. The story of the

stars creates a feeling of curiosity and wonder.

The wonder of the unknown carries a simple beauty. The train of thought going

through ones mind generates the idea that not one human knows everything. Everyone

has something to explore and things to learn from one another. The photograph of a

little boy with a curious look on his face, taken by John M. Berridge in “Selections from

The One and the Many” (520), has a simple beauty to it. The photo shows the boy deep

in thought, looking as if there is something he wants to know. The simplicity in the child’s

quest for an answer creates an idea that he has something to learn from another person.

It seems as though everyone is unique in their thoughts, personality and appearance.

Not one human is perfect and there is no way of telling what flawless is. Something

that is ‘perfect’ is not unique and had no imperfections, which is what is most beautiful

about a person. Maxine Tynes explains an average woman who wishes she was different.

This woman imagines herself as the perfect person. “The woman I am in my dreams is

taller than me, and sees the world as she walks unlike me” (The Woman I am in my

Dreams, 16). What this woman does not realize is that the things she dislikes about

herself make her unique. Elton John also talks about a woman who was judged for her

issues, Marilyn Monroe, and how her problems and individual personality made her

Level 2 Low (2L)


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beautiful. This comes from the song “Candle in the Wind”. It describes her grace,

individuality and how she lived her life through imperfections, and that is beautiful.

All of these literary devices prove that history, curiosity and imperfections are all things

that are beautiful. Authors try to show through literature what beauty is, and they try to

define it in their perspective. Everyone has their own take on what is beautiful. Beauty is

everywhere, it can not be discovered or defined.

Evaluation

Teacher Notes Knowledge/Understanding ‐ Demonstrates limited knowledge of poetic devices and poetic forms ‐ Demonstrates some understanding of works studied ‐ Demonstrates some understanding of the essay form Thinking/Inquiry ‐ Demonstrates limited critical analysis ‐ Presents work with a limited understanding of purpose and audience ‐ Weak argument with a limited analysis Communication ‐ Limited cohesion and coherence in idea development ‐ Limited paragraph structure, style and transitions ‐ Quotations are not effectively imbedded within the paragraph structure ‐ Ineffective organizational framework for introduction, body and conclusion ‐ Diction and phrasing insufficient for purpose, audience and grade level ‐ Minimal use of tone and control of language conventions Application ‐ Some understanding of MLA rules and conventions

Next Steps for Improvement ‐ More detailed thesis statement requiring a greater thematic interconnection ‐ Diction requires more development ‐ More critical analysis in paragraph structure ‐ Construct an argument that is sufficient for the task assigned ‐ Create a framework and outline for the essay ‐ More time should be spent on proofreading and editing

Level 2 Low (2L)


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Level 2 High (2H)

8. Level 2 High (2H)

Truth Essay

Our world is a place that is filled with greatness but also many flaws. In order to fully understand

these flaws we must be made aware of the truth. This truth does not come about easily, but

once achieved, we can begin to understand changes that need to be made within our society.

The poem “ Guilt”, by Leona Gom, the poem “ This Day in History”, by Bert Almon, and the

photograph of a boy in “ Selections of one and the Many” , taken by John M. Berridge, all explore

this concept in depth. These works demonstrate truth as a motivating force for people to make

positive changes in the world.

Leona Gom’ poem explores the guilt a person may feel for the numerous regretful

actions they have done in their life. The poem begins with a daughter turning away her mother’s

gift of a new set of dishes. The narrator explains how hurt the mother’s face looked. As the

poem continues, three more scenarios are given in which the narrator feels guilty for what she

has done. This guilt builds and builds with each guilty act. Gom explains that this guilt will not

simply go away on its own, “ … whenever you think / you are not a bad person, there / they

come, little lumps of guilt / like doctors, keeping you sick. ” ( 20‐23 ). Gom tries to tell the reader

to resolve their problems, because, like guilt, they will not go away without effort. If the narrator

had apologized in the beginning she would not have had to deal with the horrible, reoccurring

guilt. Gom reveals that problems, like guilt, will eventually become unfixable, “ thousand of

them, little knots … its too late now to say your sorry” (16‐18). In the end, the narrator wishes

that she has dealt with her guilt earlier, or not had committed the guilty acts at all. Gom uses the

harsh truth about guilt to motivate her readers to deal with their problems before it is too late.

The image of a poor boy, photographed by John M. Berridge, shows the sadness many

children feel and the devastating lives they lead. In this picture a young boy is in an alleyway and

looking off into the distance. His dirt filled clothes drape off of his frail body. Depression and

desperation can be seen in the boy’s eyes. He is clearly alone and helpless. Despite all of this

there is still hope in his eyes. Hope that his life can improve or even turn around. The

photographer shows the harsh truth about how this poor boy lives his life. It is clear that the boy

has nothing and no one, while many who view this picture have everything they could ever need.

The dirty and empty background is horrific in comparison to comfortable quality of the viewer’s

life. Berridge uses this photograph to show the truth about children living in poverty so that

those not in poverty can be motivated to make change. A change that can make many young

children, like this boy,’s hopes come true.

In his poem, Bert Almon discusses the fires in western Canada in 1950 and how it

affected the rest of the world. Canada was alone to deal with the devastating fires for a while

before other countries took notice. The poem explains how Britain was only affected by the fires

when smoke crossed the Atlantic Ocean and made their sun rise blue. Almon reveals how people

of the world think they are united, but we are only truly connected when a disaster affects


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everyone, “ We can say “ brother ” / to everyone, but only a blue sunrise/ might make us feel it ”(

17‐20). Many people do not take notice of other’s problems until it affects themselves. Almon is

using his poem about the devastating fires to highlight this human flaw. It is not until people

understand their true flaws that they can begin to change. People need to be concerned with the

problems of others and not just their own personal issues. In addition, people should not just be

there in times of disaster, but the good times as well. A disaster, like the fires in western Canada,

should not be necessary to unite the world. Almon uses the truth about human nature to

motivate people to make positive changes in their lives.

Gom, Berridge and Almon use the harsh reality to send a message to the world with

regards to changes that need to be made. Our world will never be perfect, but even the smallest

changes can improve everyone’s lives. The truth can change someone’s entire outlook on life, or

it can simply allow them to see their personal flaws. Regardless, if everyone was aware of the

truth our world would have the potential to be a much grander place.

Evaluation

Teacher Notes Knowledge/Understanding ‐ Limited knowledge of poetic forms and features ‐ Demonstrates some understanding of works studied ‐ Demonstrates insufficient knowledge and understanding of essay form Thinking/Inquiry ‐ Demonstrates some understanding and analysis of audience and purpose ‐ Develops arguments with some evidence and analysis ‐ Arguments need to satisfy a thesis Communication ‐ Needs to express thoughts, ideas and analysis in a logical manner ‐ Needs to create coherence between sentence and paragraphs ‐ Quotations need to be effectively embedded within the essay ‐ Needs an effective organizational framework for introduction, body and conclusion ‐ Diction and phrasing needs to be more appropriate to grade, purpose and audience ‐ Some control of language conventions Application ‐ Some understanding and application of MLA style

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Next Steps for Improvement ‐ Clear and concise thesis statement needed ‐ Topic sentences expand on argument of thesis statement ‐ Needs to develop a thorough outline and framework ‐ Quotations need to be properly embedded ‐ use graphic organizer to develop argument ‐ Review MLA Style guide

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9. Level 3 Mid (3M)

A famous economist named John Kenneth Galbraith once stated, "There is certainly

no absolute standard of beauty. That precisely is what makes its pursuit so interesting."

Indeed, beauty can be very difficult to define since it is such an abstract idea. This is

perhaps why the pursuit of beauty, which can also be considered a quest for the ideal, is

such a popular theme in society. Poets and other artists work to achieve beauty through

their works. They must accept the fact that they will be subject to criticism from others

and that it can be very difficult to achieve what others consider to be beautiful. Certainly,

the search for the ideal (whether it be physical beauty or beauty through perfection) is

unique to each individual. This makes it an interesting pursuit and perhaps even a

dangerous journey as each person works alone to achieve beauty and gain praise from

others.

In Lawrence Ferlinghetti's poem "Constantly risking absurdity and death," in Echoes

12; a poet with great ambitions strives to create beautiful literature. Through an

extended metaphor, the poet compares his life to the life of an acrobat. There are many

similarities between poets and acrobats when it comes to the risks that must be faced

during the pursuit of beauty. The ultimate goal of both professions is to dazzle the

audience and achieve perfection. For the poet, the greatest risk and fear he faces is

having his work criticized by others. An acrobat can also be criticized for his work, but he

can also be seriously injured or even killed if he isn't focused on having a flawless

routine. To perfectly sum up the life of a performer Ferlinghetti states he is "Constantly

risking absurdity/ and death! whenever he performs/ above the heads/ of his audience"

(1‐5). The bottom line is that each time a performer displays their work to the public,

they are risking absurdity. This is similar to the poet who " like an acrobat! climbs on

rime/ to a high wire of his own making" (6‐8). The common theme is that they both are

trying to achieve beauty in their work while fearing failure. The poem has a rather

negative tone and since the acrobat falls it seems that the goal to achieve both beauty

and praise may not be possible.

Next, Maxine Tynes' poem "The Woman I Am in My Dreams", in Echoes 12; displays

how nobody is truly happy in the pursuit of beauty. The woman, or the poet, envisions

herself in her dreams as a drastically different person from who she is in real life. She is

subconsciously searching for beauty through the confident person she is in her dreams.

In the woman's dreams, she is able to achieve perfection. The person in her deams takes

risks as stated by Tynes "The woman I am in my dreams/ breaks all the rules about

shoes/ wears them high and red! with killer spike heels"( 16 ‐19) and is not afraid of

expressing who she really is. Unfortunately the woman in real life holds back and does

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not express her true self for fear of criticism. The woman from her dreams is a metaphor

for the poet she wishes to be. She believes that the most incredible people in the world

are willing to run free without worrying about what others think about them. She says

that "her legs and feet are well /they speak for her in footsteps on the road/they laugh at

hills and/at rolling, unforgiving, gravel" (29 ‐31). This imaginary woman is much more

comfortable with who she is as stated by Tynes "Her legs are straight and sure/ they

don't fly out from under her" (25‐26). The woman having the dream can be compared to

the poet and acrobat from the previous piece. Just like them, this woman is afraid of

failing in her pursuit of beauty. However, the woman in her dreams is able to overcome

the challenges which are symbolized in her dream by the "hills" and "ice." Tynes leaves

us with a feeling of optimism as the Woman seems to gain strength at the end of the

poem.

Finally, in the "Palm tree image", in Echoes 12; there is a close up image of the trunk

of a lone palm tree while in the background there are numerous other palm trees that

can be seen from bottom to top. Above these palm trees is a beautiful bright blue sky.

The lone palm tree in the foreground can be compared to a person who, while

attempting to pursue beauty, becomes isolated from the rest of society. When people

are criticized, they can feel lonely and as if they have no place in society. This is evident

in the first two pieces of literature where the woman feels lonely and different, while the

poet explains how he can often feel the same way when being criticized by others. This

lonely palm tree surely seeks to fit in with all the other trees. The fact that only the trunk

of the tree can be seen represents a person that is not willing to open up and face their

fears. However, as noted in previous instances, the only way to achieve ideal beauty is by

displaying your full personality and having the confidence to face criticism on the

journey. The shadow beside the tree represents the beauty that can be achieved by the

lone tree while the small bumps along the tree trunk symbolize all the roadblocks that

may be faced during the quest for beauty. In the first poem, the acrobat and poet faced

the fear of failure as they walked the tightrope. In the second poem, the roadblock in

between the woman and beauty was her lack of self confidence. Finally, the blue sky in

the background of the palm tree image represents a light at the end of the tunnel. This

can be compared to the optimism felt at the end of Tynes' poem.

Beauty is something that we all strive for in life. What seems to make the pursuit for

beauty so interesting is the fact that beauty is abstract and difficult to define. Certainly,

beauty is something that can only be achieved through hard work and a willingness to be

open minded. To achieve this ideal, one must stay true to themselves and believe in who

they are. Without self confidence and determination, nothing will ever be achieved.

There are people all around the world who never achieve personal satisfaction simply

because they are never able to overcome the fear of failure. One of the biggest fears in

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life, is the fear of failure. In the pursuit of beauty, society as a whole must learn to

overcome this fear and live without any regrets.

Evaluation

Teacher Notes Knowledge/Understanding ‐ Demonstrate sufficient knowledge of poetic terms and devices ‐ Understands the essay form and purpose ‐ Needs a better understanding of how a thesis guides the form of an essay Thinking/Inquiry ‐ Makes effective and mostly clear arguments ‐ Arguments are appropriate to audience and purpose ‐ While there is a clear attempt at a thesis, it is insufficient and underdeveloped for the task Communication ‐ Expresses thoughts and ideas in clear manner ‐ While there are some transitions between paragraphs, there needs to be a clearer connection between paragraphs ‐ Mostly effective essay framework ‐ Demonstrates good language conventions, diction and grammar ‐ First body paragraph written well; however the proceeding paragraphs need more argument development Application ‐ MLA style is used effectively

Next Steps for Improvement ‐ A complex or more challenging thesis is needed to clearly guide ideas and arguments of body paragraphs ‐ Supporting principles need to be clearly communicated in the introduction ‐ Quotations and direct references are needed to accurately support the thesis ‐ 3rd body paragraph needs argument development ‐ Review MLA Style guide (titles) ‐ vary quotation integration methods

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When people think of beauty, they often think of their favourite objects such as

family heirlooms, places in nature, or laughter. This beauty is happy, filled with love and

joy. When people encounter laughter or nature it leads them to speculate as to how

amazing a place the world is, and how great life can be. These items give the impression

that only objects that produce positive emotions can be beautiful. However, this is not

always the case. Not all beauty projects positive emotion. Much of the world’s beauty

comes at a cost, arriving in the wake of pain and discomfort. In the pictures of John M

Berridge’s “Selections from the One and the Many” as well as the poems “Sailing to

Byzantium” written by William Butler Yeats and “The Lady of Shalott” by Alfred

Tennyson, beauty is depicted in this way. These artists use images of tragedy to create

beauty.

Photographs work well to capture and save images of the real world. They create

nearly perfect reproduction of life and can even convey emotions when presented in the

right way. John M Berridge uses one of his photographs to convey images of sadness

and suffering to his audience, and make them want to do something for the world. This

is seen in his picture of a small child looking blankly towards the camera. The child

appears to be very poor and unhappy. The picture is filled with dull and faded colours,

making the whole scene depressing. Once they have viewed this picture, the audience

begins to feel empathy towards the child. The picture forces the viewer to realise that

not everyone in the world is as well off as themselves, and that they should count

themselves lucky. This image is beautiful, not because it makes its audience joyous, but

because it makes those same people sad. It makes people feel better about themselves,

the picture being a foil for their own lives. It is a dark contrast, showing that no

hardships in our lives compare to those of this child. Good can also come from people

seeing these tragic images. When people can see how terrible other parts of the world

are, they often decide to make a difference. The image of the child makes people realise

that not everything in the world is as good as the place where they live, and that they

can help improve the lives of these less fortunate people. This picture is beautiful

because it calls upon strong emotions and encourages people to help make the world a

better place.

Poets often help readers find beauty in tragic images. In the poem “Sailing to

Byzantium” presented in the book Echoes 12 and written by William Yeats, there is

initially tragedy, but good prevails in the end. This is evidenced when Yeats writes “An

aged man is but a paltry thing, a tattered coat upon a stick” (68). This quote initially tells

the reader that being old is a terrible, tragic thing. However, it continues to say that

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being old does not necessarily have to be bad. Indeed, the next line, “unless [his] soul

clap its hands and sing” (68), suggests hope for the aged man, hope that lies in the soul’s

desire sing, which is a metaphor for our souls’ ability to live outside of time. The speaker

suggests the soul can learn to “sing” by “studying monuments of its own magnificence”

(68). These monuments could be the beauty of human art and culture—what Byzantium

was known for. The speaker explains that if the old man stays creative and engages in art

and culture, he will remain happy when he becomes old. Yeats shows that even when

facing the ultimate tragedy (death), humans have the ability to find beauty, which gives a

roadmap to happiness, or at least a way to change our emotions from bad to good, or

from sad to happy.

Beauty does not always need a happy ending. Tragic images can still create

beauty even if no happiness comes of it. Alfred Tennyson uses tragedy in his poem “The

Lady of Shalott” presented in Echoes 12. In the poem, Tennyson tells the tragic story of

an artist who is “cursed” to only ever look into a mirror and never directly into life.

Tennyson writes “And moving through a mirror clear, that hangs before us all the year,

shadows of the world appear” (37‐39). These lines of the poem tell its audience that

looking through the mirror is not nearly the same as actually seeing the world. Tennyson

uses the metaphor of the mirror to illustrate how the artist is forced to see the world

differently than others, but this also means they must only live in the “shadows of the

world.” It is tragedy that the artist, a person who creates beauty, is not to be able to see

directly into real life. Tennyson’s lady in fact dies when she tries to experience the world

directly, yet the art she leaves behind remains beautiful.

Misfortune and discomfort can be seen as beautiful things. All emotions, not just

positive feelings of love and joy can bring this about. Tragedy can be used in many ways

by artists to create beauty. Some will use it to draw its audience in, while others use it as

a contrast and a way for people to feel better about their lives. We as an audience must

see this tragedy and use it for the good of the world. Those who witness tragedy must

do what they can to try to stop it. Hopefully they will do everything they can to change

the world for the better.

Evaluation

Teacher Notes Knowledge/Understanding ‐ Demonstrate sufficient knowledge of poetic terms and devices ‐ Understands the essay form and purpose ‐ Understands how a thesis guides the form of an essay

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Thinking/Inquiry ‐ Makes effective and mostly clear arguments ‐ Arguments are appropriate to audience and purpose ‐ While there is a clear attempt at a thesis, it is insufficient and underdeveloped for the task Communication ‐ Expresses thoughts and ideas in clear manner ‐ There are sufficient transitions between paragraphs ‐ Effective essay framework ‐ Demonstrates good language conventions, diction and grammar Application ‐ MLA style is used inappropriately in places (ie. poetic line breaks and line numbers)

Next Steps for Improvement ‐ A complex or more challenging thesis is needed to clearly guide ideas and arguments of body paragraphs ‐ Supporting principles need to be clearly communicated in the introduction ‐ More transitions are needed for better coherence ‐ Conclusion needs better development and connection to body paragraphs ‐ Review MLA citations

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11. Level 4 Low (4L) Art: Mapping the Ideal

The artificial and the manmade are inexorably linked and ubiquitous in the modern world. By definition, the artificial, or that made by man, is the opposite of nature and belongs to art. Art, the craftsmanship of humankind, comes in many different forms, whether it be within poetry or a brilliant painting. Forever these works have attempted to capture the spirit of a fantasy world, like one of Atlantis or Camelot, but these fantasies remain only a figment of the imagination. These utopian worlds are not real, and they are wholly unattainable. Similarly, the search for the ideal is ultimately futile. However in the underlying journey to find this ideal, a brave adventurer can feel the power of beauty and truth along the rough road to the fantasy world. Along the way, the adventurer, be it an artist or merely an observer, will try to map out their treacherous journey to the ideal. Consequently, by following a well‐trodden path, future artists and observers can continue the quest for the ideal. In this way, the intrinsic goal of an artist is not only to create art which portrays the ideal, but also to create art that will last long after its creator "wastes away". Although the artist ultimately fails to capture the ideal in their art, the artist acts to preserve beauty, consequently allowing the search for the ideal to continue indefinitely.

The natural world is commonly associated with the ideal because items exuding life and vitality tend to resonate strongly within the artist. In the "Lady of Shalott," by Alfred Tennyson, the artist is trapped within a tower located tantalizing close to the illusory Camelot. However, the Lady is separated, wholly immured and relegated to the outskirts of the perfect world that is Camelot. As the ultimate outsider, she is unable to experience the idyllic reality of the world just outside her window. All she can see is a reflection of her world through her weaving mirror, which is an extremely limited portal into the realities of life. She cannot see the truth of the ideal world, ~o she cannot depict this in her artwork. Accented by the fall of night, the highway acts as a metaphor for the ideal because it is transient:

And moving thro' a mirror clear That hangs before her all the year, Shadows of the world appear. There she sees the highway near Winding down to Camelot [ ... ] pass onward from Shalott. (46‐50, 54)

All the Lady can see through her mirror is the idyllic reflection of the world, and if she accidentally gazes upon the imperfections of reality, the mirror will shatter and the Lady will be cursed because she is venturing away from the ideal. The innocence and purity of the mirror's world is affirmed when the poet dedicates an entire section of the poem to describing the visual perfection of Lancelot. When Sir Lancelot is riding through the "Elysian" fields, the Lady's gaze is averted from her mirror. Tennyson appeals powerfully to the visual sense when he describes the curse that has befallen the Lady:

She saw the helmet and the plume, She look'd down to Camelot. Out flew the web and floated wide, The mirror cracked from side to side; "The curse is come upon me," cried The Lady of Shalott. (112‐117)

When looking upon the ideal visual form of Lancelot, the Lady has come near what she believes to be the ideal. The song sung by Lancelot lures the Lady's attention away from her art and ever closer to the unattainable ideal. Her life as an artist has ended because no artist is allowed to copy the idyllic Camelot into their work. The Lady's search for the ideal cannot be completed in life; therefore it must be found eternally within the afterlife. Tennyson describes the Lady's curse as a shroud of darkness enveloping Camelot:

In the stormy east‐wind straining, The pale yellow woods were waning,

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Level 4 Low (4L)

The broad stream in his banks complaining, Heavily the low sky raining Over tower'd Camelot; Down she came and found a boat Beneath a willow left afloat, And round about the prow she wrote The Lady of Shalott. (118‐126)

The Lady, in approaching what superficially appears to be the ideal, has caused a great stir, seemingly achieving the impossible. By leaving her artist's post to make contact with the real, the curse starts to drain colour from the once vibrant and shining world, and nature asserts its dominance over the artificial by sparking a violent storm which replaces the glorious sunlight. As a metaphor for the fleeting nature of the ideal, this quotation validates the elusive nature of the ideal. Because of this elusion, the ideal must be searched for always, so whenever an artist like the Lady makes the taxing effort to capture the ideal artificially, they must sign their names upon their work to take credit. Despite these efforts, Lancelot's remarks about the Lady indicate how often it is that external beauty, rather than the soul of an individual or a work of art, is all that is remembered. Although the Lady failed to attain the unattainable, her story is riveting enough to be told by Tennyson centuries later. The life of an artist is a difficult one, as the ideal is within arm's reach but can never be touched. However, art will last forever, adding another layer to the preservation and maintenance of the perpetual search for the ideal.

The artificial‐‐that made by man rather than made by nature ‐‐can also be seen as embodying the ideal. According to William Yeats in "Sailing to Byzantium," the artificial and its association with eternity is more beautiful than the finite nature of reality, where people grow old, "waste away", and disappear. Yeats metaphorically constructs himself as an old man who seeks to preserve his intellectual spirit by being crafted into a golden statue in ancient Byzantium. He first leaves the world of youth, where the ideal lives in nature, and sails to Byzantium where statues and monuments last artificially in an "artifice of eternity" (24) . Yeats believes the search for the ideal will be unsuccessful as long as it is attached to a dying form. Yeats summarizes this sentiment as:

Consume my heart away; sick with desire And fastened to a dying animal It knows not what it is; and gather me Into the artifice of eternity. Once out of nature I shall never take My bodily form from any natural thing. (21‐26)

Yeats describes the elderly as melancholically yearning for the ideal, but their tragic flaw is that their idealism is attached to a dying animal‐their deteriorating physical form. He faults the human form with, philosophically, not knowing what it really is. He prefers the master craftsmen of Byzantium to consume his heart and convert him not to a natural form reborn, but rather an artifice of eternity. The artifice represents the deceptive evasion of detection. In this poem, and lending to the eternal lifeless nature of a statue, this refers to the detection of life, or the evasion of nature and mortality. Yeats sees this artificial form as being eternal and capable of living forever in the natural world. The beauty Yeats sees in eternity is further described in the last stanza of the poem, whereby Yeats remarks:

But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make Of hammered gold and gold enamelling To keep a drowsy emperor awake; Or set upon a golden bough to sing To lords and ladies of Byzantium Of what is past, or passing, or to come. (27‐32)

Thanks to these craftsmen, an old leader's past glory is made eternal. A statue resides in a world where the physical form of a past leader is able to live forever alongside gold mosaics and monuments of ancient successes. Despite this, Yeats states that he would choose instead to be fashioned as a golden bird, the true symbol of freedom. The last line of the poem concludes with this overarching image of surviving the past, present and future, which drives home the Yeats' idea that eternity is where the ideal is found. By


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lasting eternally in the form of art, the Byzantine empire, although short‐lived by historical standards, can be glorified as the years go on because the empire survives in another way ‐through art and ideas rather than in natural physical form. This is what Yeats sees as the ideal: the art, that which is not natural and made through human workmanship, is what allows the artist or humankind as a whole to achieve the eternity necessary to reach the ideal.

The concept of eternity permitting entrance into the world of the ideal is also discussed through John Keats' in‐depth analysis of historical art in "Ode on a Grecian Urn." Just as Yeats sees the artificial as the vehicle to the ideal, Keats sees imagination as a vehicle to the ideal. In fact, Keats believes that the eternal nature the Grecian urn allows it to tell a story more powerfully than any historian could. A historian looks at the cold facts rather than the warmth conveyed by the world of imagination, where stories of emotion and essential life are told. In the first stanza, Keats emphasizes this critical distinction:

Thou foster‐child of silence and slow‐time, Sylvan historian, who canst thus express A flowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme: [...] Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard Are sweeter. (1‐11‐12)

Keats believes the urn embodies eternity: as the "foster‐child" of silence and slow‐time, the urn is capable of sharing the ideal because it is so near to it. Keats feels a deep, vivid and imaginative story within the urn. To indicate his affinity for the imagination, he says that unheard melodies are sweeter, implying that imagined music is more emotionally potent and moving than the melodies of reality. Keats emphasizes that the ideal must be imagined through art, imagery or rhyme, as opposed to recounted by a historian. Near the end of the poem, Keats tells the reader exactly why the imagination can be a vehicle to the world of the eternal and to the ideal, when he concludes:

Thou silent form, dost tease us out of thought As doth eternity: Cold Pastoral! When old age shall this generation waste, Thou shalt remain in midst of other woe Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st, "Beauty is truth, truth beauty". (44‐49)

Keats defines human life as finite and perpetually "wasting," just as Yeats does in "Sailing to Byzantium." The urn, because of its eternal nature, is capable of teasing us of everyday thought and leading us to the dream‐world of imagination, where one cannot be destroyed or waste away. Keats, in embellishing the powers of imagination, writes about how the woes and rigours of daily life are forgotten in this dream world. The urn, as a launching point for the imagination, carries strong statements such as "Beauty is truth, truth beauty" (49), so they can be heard years after the poet's or artist's death. Keats, in further establishing the power of the eternal, suggests that despite the mortal nature of the artist, the ideal world depicted within art can last forever, allowing the pursuit of the ideal to continue indefinitely. Here, poetry allows its readers to experience the same imaginative fire that Keats felt so many years ago when he saw the Grecian urn and the silent, frozen and timeless world held within it.

An artist's life may end, but art lives on to preserve the beauty of the captured moment and, ultimately, the search for the ideal. Tennyson, despite describing an illusory world, sees the artist as trying to depict idealism in a natural form, where bright sunlight, rushing torrents and windswept plains breathe the vitality of the real natural world. On the contrary, Yeats and Keats each see the ideal as residing in world of statues and of the imagination. That which is artificial is capable of eternally projecting the glory, emotion and imagination of human life. Due to the interminable nature of the search for the ideal, art remains the best vehicle to carry on and preserve that search. The glory of a moment, exquisitely captured by an artist, can be felt long after the artist's death, still with the same eerie, mystical power of the original moment. A utopia may be impossible to locate, but the great cartographer of the ideal‐‐the artist‐‐can tell us where one might come close and where the footprints of the nomadic ideal can be found.

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Evaluation

Teacher Notes Knowledge/Understanding ‐ Demonstrates a thorough understanding of the works studied ‐ Demonstrates a clear understanding of poetic forms and features ‐ Demonstrates a good knowledge and understanding of essay form Thinking/Inquiry ‐ Makes effective arguments in a way that demonstrates critical analysis of works ‐ Presents arguments in a way that demonstrates a clear understanding of audience and purpose ‐ Challenging argument; however it needs to be formatted in a clearer and more concise manner Communication ‐ Thoughts, ideas and analysis need to be organized in a clearer and more logical manner ‐ Effective use of transitions and hooks ‐ Effectively embedded quotations into the fabric of essay ‐ An effective thesis would improve the organizational framework for introduction, body and conclusion ‐ Diction and phrasing needs to be more succinct ‐ Stylistic uses of grammar and punctuation Application ‐ Proper use of MLA rules and conventions

Next Steps for Improvement ‐ Rework a more concise thesis with a more directional statement ‐ While the vocabulary is elevated, there is some misuse of terms ‐ Quotations need to be supported with reference to thesis ‐ Some arguments are overly verbose; work on conciseness

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Beauty and truth are abstract concepts, highly subjective to opinions, ideas and beliefs. The debate on the nature of beauty and truth is one spanning centuries with authors fervently arguing the definitions of these elusive ideas, attempting to confine them to a set description. Meditating upon beauty in their respective poems "Ode on a Grecian Urn" and "Sailing to Byzantium" John Keats and W.B. Yeats present a compelling definition of beauty as an artist's quest for immortality through an ideal different from the truth of reality. On the other hand, Pico Iyer's essay "History? Education? Zap! Pow! Cut!" in conjunction with Maxine Tynes' poem "The woman I am in my Dreams” provide a brutally honest social commentary on the distortive nature of truth and its effects on society's understanding of beauty and image.

In his poem "Ode on a Grecian Urn," John Keats imbues the urn with his notion of an ideal eternal beauty undisturbed by the passing of time. He admires the immortal beauty of art and its ability to transcend time, yet he understands its limitations and its inability to exist in the temporal. "More happy love! More happy happy love! / Forever warm and still to be enjoy'd" (24‐26) characterizes Keats' initial portrayal of beauty as immortal and immutable. In the first four stanzas of the poem, the eternal nature of art epitomizes its beauty. In stanza five, however, the narrator, though mesmerized by this ideal of beauty, seems to awaken to the harsh realization that it is in fact truth, the temporal, that defines beauty. While initially depicting beauty as the quest for the eternal, the narrator now sees the urn's beauty as "Cold Pastoral" (45), merely a frozen image of an ideal impossible to achieve in reality. Thus, Keats ends by saying that "Beauty is truth, truth beauty" (49). However, the beauty of art lies in its eternal nature, the beauty of the temporal world in truth.

Similar to "Ode on a Grecian Urn," W.B. Yeats' poem "Sailing to Byzantium" defines beauty as an artist's quest for immortality. Unlike Keats, however, Yeats does not contrast the eternal beauty of art with the reality of the temporal, but simply aspires to become immortal as part of art. He defines beauty as a desired, yet understandably unattainable ideal, because as a human he is grounded in the temporal restricted by the limitations of reality. The narrator sees the eternal nature of Byzantine art as symbolizing an escape from the decay of life and a path to immortality. He beseeches the works of art to "consume (his) heart away; sick with desire / [. . .] into the artifice of eternity" (21‐24). He condemns the mutability of life and defines beauty as the eternal nature of art. Yeats asserts that beauty is the ability of a work of art to immortalize its creator. Both Keats and Yeats acknowledge the quest for the eternal as the beauty of art; however, unlike Keats who defines beauty as truth, Yeats presents it as the eternal nature of the imagination.

Beauty is a subjective concept influenced by an individual's values, beliefs and ideals. From Pico Iyer's essay "History? Education? Zap! Pow! Cut!" one can conclude that the ambiguous character of beauty is directly linked to the variability of truth. He argues that "reflexes, values, even feelings", the very factors influencing one's perception of beauty and truth, "have been programmed by that all‐seeing deity known as the tube". Modern media, whose reach seems to be infinite, distracts individuals' understanding of truth. Truth lies in one's interpretation. However, in his essay Iyer asserts that in modern society the individual interpretation is globally dictated by the media, thus distorting a whole generation's perception of reality, truth and beauty. By being "programmed" with a generic definition of truth, individuals lose the ability to think critically and discern truth for themselves. Thus, Pico Iyer's essay defines truth as one's ability to filter the distortions of the media and, by thinking critically, derive a personal interpretation of truth.

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Pico Iyer's definition of truth and its effects on society is further supported by Maxine Tynes' poem "The woman I am in my Dreams," where Tynes condemns the media imposed truth of beauty. By contrasting a woman's appearance in reality with the ideal presented by the media and reflected in the narrator's dreams, this poem shows the negative effects of the distortion of truth. "The woman I am in my dreams/her legs are straight and sure/ [. . .] they don't hide under long skirts/her legs and feet are well" describes the woman's belief that her own beauty pales in comparison with the media influenced image in her dreams. Tynes criticises the media's negative influence on women's perception of beauty and image. According to her, media distorts truth by imposing a fixed and unreal ideal of beauty. Truth, in this altered form, becomes a devastating force of self‐deprecation for many women, like the narrator. Thus, Pico Iyer and Maxine Tynes seem to agree that truth at its core is a media influenced distortion, which must be filtered of the interpretations imposed by others, in order to derive one's own definition of truth and, thus, perception of beauty and image.

The relationship between truth and beauty, though illusive and often difficult to discern, appears to be an important part of their definitions. In Keats' poem "Ode on a Grecian Urn" and Yeats' poem "Sailing to Byzantium" beauty is defined in terms of truth as an unattainable, but desired, ideal of eternity, which renders beauty as truth. Pico Iyer's essay "History? Education? Zap! Pow! Cut!" and Maxine Tynes' poem "The woman I am in my Dreams" seem to contradict the definition of beauty, by defining truth as a distorted representation of beauty. Therefore, beauty and truth are ultimately interpretations of each other, dependant on an individual's values, ideals and beliefs.

Evaluation

Teacher Notes Knowledge/Understanding ‐ Demonstrates insightful use of poetic forms and features ‐ Demonstrates insightful understanding of works studied ‐ Demonstrates exceptional knowledge and understanding of essay form Thinking/Inquiry ‐ Makes effective arguments in a way that demonstrates thorough critical thought ‐ Thorough understanding of audience and purpose ‐ Creates a complex thesis supported by an insightful analysis Communication ‐ Expresses thoughts, ideas and analysis in an insightfully clear and logical manner ‐ Creates coherence between both sentences and paragraph structures ‐ Seamlessly embeds quotations into the fabric of the essay ‐ Effective use of diction and a strong control of language conventions Application ‐ Effective use and application of MLA style

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Next Steps for Improvement ‐ Identify and apply literary devices and literary techniques to further support and enhance the claims being made

Level 4 High (4H)

A Lawrence Park CI Professional Learning Community Project 2011

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