effective project communication

Wu GangHPIT GADSC-CDC

Effective project Communication

Ground rules

• This is not a training, it’s a workshop

• I am not the trainer, I am the facilitator

• You are not the trainee, you are the master

• no rule will be given, only suggestion

Agenda

• Overview

• Gender

• Listening

• Non-Verbal

• Assertiveness

• Compliments & Criticism

• Handle Conflict

Practice

• 你在干嘛？•Angry• frustrated• flirty• friendly•Tired•Excited•Intimated

Communication Overview

•Goal

•Definition

•Process

Communication Goal

Communication

• What

• When

• Efficient ?

Why Effective Communication

1 2 3 4 5

6 7 8 9 10

2. Requirement Metioned by Customer

3. Requirement Understanded by Project Manager

4. Design given by Designer

5. Coding performed by programer

1. Promise Made by Sales 7. This is Installation Package

8. This is Cost

9. This is Support

10. This is What Really Want by Customer

6. This is document

Does he really understand ?

Elements of communication

Communication Process

Gender

Video

• What is the different

© 2006 Hewlett-Packard Development Company, L.P.The information contained herein is subject to change without notice

Female

Feeling

FeelingCommunicationBeautyShare

© 2006 Hewlett-Packard Development Company, L.P.The information contained herein is subject to change without notice

Male

Achievement

PowerAbilityEfficiencyAchievement

© Copyright 2010 Hewlett-Packard Development Company, L.P. 16

DIFFERENT NEED

接受（ accepted ）

崇拜（ admired ）

感激（ appreciated ）

证明 (approved of)信任（ trusted ）

认同（ validated ）

理解（ understood ）

安慰（ reassured ）关心（ cared about ）

尊重（ respected ）


DIFFERENT NEEDSpecify what is male’s need and female’s need

accepted

admired

appreciated

approved of

trusted

validated

understood

reassured

cared about

respectedMale Female


STORY OF TOM AND MARY


WHAT MAN NEEDSWhat a women might unknowningly cause a

man to feel controlled. Why?

– 你干吗还买那个，咱家已经有一个了嘛，再买一个配对啊（ How can you think of buying that ? You already

have one ）

– 你头发长的快赶上李宇春。（ You hair is getting kind of long, isn’t it? ）

– 大哥，你开的太猛了，赶紧慢下来，否则你就被拍了(You’re driving too fast , slow down or you’ll get a

ticket)

– 别咬手指头，你都多大啦 .（ Don’t eat with your fingers. You’re setting a bad

example ）

– Bill 都打了好几次电话了。你赶紧给他回个电话吧 (Bill call for the third time. When are you going to call

him back?)


KEY CONCEPTION

Men - do not offer solutions to women, listen, make them feel validated, cared for, respected.

Women - do not control men, empower them to make decisions themselves, convey that you admire and accept them..

1. Admit the difference2. Aware in the conversation3. Avoid making mistake


LISTENING,THE HEART OF COMMUNICATION

Be a ACTIVE Listener


ELEMENTS OF LISTENING

– Hearing

– Attending

– Understanding

– Responding

– Remembering

Remember

Responding

Understand

Attending

Hearing


WHY LISTENING IS IMPORTANT

– Good Communication Starts with Listening – L. Wilder 　

– Listening consumes more of our daily lives than any other communication process.


BAD HABIT WHEN LISTENING

– Give no response

– Negative response (distract ..)

– Interrupt

– Tell your own story

– Criticize

– Finishing other’s words


Active listening 4 steps

BE A ACTIVE LISTENER

1. Indicate your interest in the person and what he is saying.

2. Don’t interrupt

3. Involve your whole body.

4. Give response


Reflect Listening


PARAPHRASE

Restate what was said in your own words

PARAPHRASE

Restate what was said in your own words

SUMMARIZE

Pull together the main points of a speaker

SUMMARIZE

Pull together the main points of a speaker

QUESTION

Challenge speaker to think further, clarifying both your and their understanding

QUESTION

Challenge speaker to think further, clarifying both your and their understanding


Formula to use for reflective listening:


You feel (insert the word or feeling) because (insert the event or other content that is associated with the feeling).”


Physical Listening


– Facing the speaker

– Eye contact

– Distance

– Posture• relaxed or rigid

• leaning in or away

– Remove physical distractions


Feeling speaker while listening


– Focus attention on: facial expressions, posture, gestures and actions.

– Read non-verbal in context of the conversation.

– Note discrepancies between what people say and how they act. For example, if they say they are happy, do they look and act happy?

– Be aware of your feelings and physical reactions.

Listening is not only listening


NON-VERBAL LANGUAGE

How you communicate is often more important than what you communicate.


Verbal Language

VERBAL LANGUAGE

Verbal:•Written

• Mail / letter• Email• Text message• MSN/QQ• ….

•Oral• Speech• F2F talk• Phone call• Indoor conference• Gossip• …


Non-verbal Language

NON-VERBAL LANGUAGE

The way of not using talk or text to convey the message

• Vocal (Paralanguage)

• Visual （ Body Language ）


PERCENTAGE OF NON-VERBAL

– Verbal

– Vocal

– Visual 7%

38%55%

Percentage

Verbal Vocal Visual

93% of all Communication is non verbal


VOCAL

– Which are vocal communication

• 语音语调 Vocal tone• 抑扬顿挫 Inflection• 音量大小 Volume• 是否流利 Fluency• 时间暂停 Timing /pause

– - can be conveyed over the phone

The 38%


PRACTICE

– 你在干嘛？• Angry

• frustrated

• flirty

• friendly

• Tired

• Excited

• Intimated

– 你可真行• Appreciate

• Jealous

• Ironic

• Angry

• Admire


VISUAL– cannot be conveyed over the

phone

– Eye contact– Gestures– Hands and feet– Arms, legs – crossed– Touching – handshake, shoulder– Space and Distance – proximity,

height, barriers, lighting, movement– Posture – relaxed, rigid, leaning– Silence– Nodding, Shrugging– Facial expressions – Smiling, laughing.– Clothing


BODY LANGUAGE

– Body language is more honest than words


WHAT ARE THEY TALKING


POSITIVE BODY LANGUAGE

Gesture

– Open Palms

– Eye-to-eye confrontation

– Smile

– Equal Handshake

Postures

– Standing position

– Walking style

– Hand Movements


GESTURE

– Repeats

– Substitutes

– Complements

– Accents

– Regulates

– Contradicts


NON-VERBAL LANGUAGE

•It is not what you say it. It is how you say it.

•Body language is more honest that words


ASSERTIVENESS


GROUP EXERCISE

How do you response. •Person come to the meeting late all the time

•Requirements changing from business. Task are always given at the last second causing a lot of over time

•Your girl/boy friend spends a lot of time on the computer and not enough time with you

•Your family disagrees with you getting married to that person and they do not support you


4 FORMS

Passive

No action

Silent

crying alone in the dark while listening to sad music

Passive-Aggressive

Aggressive

Arguing, complaining?Negotiation?Pushing, pressureMean, disrespectPhysical violence

Assertive

To communicate your own feelings without hurting others.

www.uaf.edu/chc/MentalHealth/PAbehavior.htm

Forgetting" to do something on purpose Making a habit of putting off or being late with social and/or job tasks Failing to do one's share of the work or doing sub-standard work on purpose Having a constant negative attitude Criticizing authority figures, not openly, but in subtle ways

http://www.uaf.edu/chc/MentalHealth/PAbehavior.htm


ASSERTIVENESS

• Be objective and non-judgmental

• No judging

• No blaming

• No interrupting

• Don’t tell others how to feel• Stop being such a baby. BAD

• Do not assume another person’s motives, attitudes, character • He didn’t do the testing because he is lazy

• Don’t criticize other’s beliefs, feelings and thoughts• He worries too much about uncontrollable

things. BAD

• Don’t be general• Everything he does is sloppy. BAD

• Be as brief as possible• Don’t cause panic. Show

confidence and planning.• We also have no idea what is going on.

There has been no testing done for the last two days. BAD

• Timing is important. Early communication and follow up is important.

• We mentioned this issue in an email 3 months ago. BAD

• Don’t ignore criticisms. Explain yourself and your actions.

• Control your emotions


formula

ASSERTIVENESS

4-part formula for assertive communication

“When you (state the other person’s behavior non judgmentally),

I feel (disclose your feelings)

because (explain the impact on your life).

I prefer (describe what you want).”


Use formula

GROUP EXERCISE - AGAIN

How do you response. •Person come to the meeting late all the time

•Requirements changing from business. Task are always given at the last second causing a lot of over time

•Your girl/boy friend spends a lot of time on the computer and not enough time with you

•Your family disagrees with you getting married to that person and they do not support you


SUMMARY

– Overview

– Gender

– Listening

– Non-Verbal

– Assertiveness

AlwaysBe brief.Be confident.Be positive

Phily Wu

effective project communication

Technology

communication overview

masterno rule

ground rulesthis