Craving the Grave: Why What You Want Isn’t Always What You Want

Series Slide “In the wilderness”

Ichiro.

It’s the Japanese word for “First Son.”

But for American Baseball fans its synonymous with “Base Hit”.

Ichiro Suzuki played Major League Baseball for almost 18 years along with 9 other seasons in Japan.

That’s 27 years of professional baseball.

He retired this season with a career that could only be described as a “Hall of Fame shoe-in”.

He holds dozens of Major League records.

Financially, Ichiro is millionaire hundreds of times over.

Personally, he’s known as nice guy. Respectful. Generous. He donated over $100 million to Japanese relief efforts following the Tsunami several years ago.

To look at Ichiro’s career is to see success. He played baseball at the highest level until he was 44 years old.

Ichiro is a highly disciplined, meticulous student of the game.

Since he was 7 years old, every day of his life he has, at least, thrown 50 balls, fielded 50 infield balls and 50 outfield balls and hit 500 pitches.

Before bed every night he swings a bat for 10 minutes…which sometimes turns into 3 hours.

Over the years, he methodically stripped everything away from his life… except baseball… so he could excel….at baseball.

In his final full season, a reporter asked Ichiro what he planned on doing after baseball.

He replied, “I think I’ll just die.”

Ichiro’s father, Nobuyuki Suzuki is the man behind Ichiro’s disciplined and meticulous approach to the game.

When Ichiro was 3, his father bought him his first glove. He taught his son to clean and polish it. It wasn’t a toy, his father taught him, it was a tool.

In elementary school, Ichiro wrote an essay that said he dreamed of a life outside of baseball, one where he could play with other children when he wanted to instead of being enslaved to his 365-day-a-year practice schedule.

One time, when Ichiro wanted to stop practicing to go play with other kids, he sat down in center field in protest, and his father began throwing baseballs at him.

When asked to comment on a passage in his father’s book that described their training sessions as “fun for father and son”, Ichiro replied.… “He’s a liar.”

He said his Dad’s behavior bordered on child abuse.

[PAUSE] Ichiro doesn’t speak to his father anymore. His dad is no longer in his life at all.

Let me share with you a couple of passages from an article written by Wright Thompson earlier this year about Ichiro in ESPN magazine.

“Before Ichiro signed with the Mariners in 2001, the family built a home in Toyoyama, [Japan] for them to live in together and an adjacent two-story museum filled with artifacts, from Ichiro's Star Wars toys to his first glove. It's open to the public for $11 a person. In the early pictures, Ichiro is always smiling. He smiles less as the years pass. There's a gym stocked with unused equipment, intended for Ichiro's workouts and now used to store boxes. Sometimes at night, Nobuyuki comes alone and walks through the exhibits. He dreamed of his son living here forever, and now he's gone.” 

Nobuyuki Suzuki no longer has his son. He just has the artifacts of the baseball machine he turned his son into.

Now you might think if Ichiro realized that the things his Dad forced him to do were unhealthy …that he would separate himself from baseball? That he would have freely chosen something different for his life.

But that’s not what happened.

Listen to this.

“Ichiro has broken away from his father -- the man who invented Ichiro, the wellspring of all that's good and bad in his life -- but he cannot break away from the man his father created. He cannot escape the patterns burned into him as a boy. His American teammates all talk about how he still polishes his gloves and spikes, as he was taught. He works out every day without break, forsaking even a family…

He's made a $160 million fortune and can't enjoy it. He's earned his rest but can't take it. He's won his freedom but doesn't want it. The kid in the essay who wrote of a life away from baseball no longer exists.

Ichiro now does to himself all the things he resents his father for having made him do.”

There are 2 things that came to mind when I read that last sentence.

Insanity and Slavery.

Insanity, because it seems common sense to separate yourself from the very patterns that hurt you for so long. So to voluntarily dedicate to your life to them seems insane.

So… maybe its not voluntary.

And that’s why I call it slavery.

Because, though Ichiro would like to break free from the regimens that demanded so much of his life for so long…he is chained to them. Because without them…he doesn’t even know who ICHIRO is.

Title Slide

Today is Father’s Day.

But that’s not the only reason I’m telling you a story about baseball and an estranged Father and son.

I’m telling you this story because its an echo of bigger story…a more ancient one.

A story that’s been told for millenia…and its a story that happens everyday in the lives of millions of people.

Maybe its not baseball for you.

But there is something you are probably enslaved to. Something, that as badly as you want to leave it behind…as much as you know its destroying you and your relationships….you end up craving it.

[PAUSE] Insanity.

And when asked what you would do without it…you’d probably reply like Ichiro. “I think I’ll just die.”

The story of Israel in the book of Numbers is, in many ways, common to the human experience.

The original Hebrew name for the book of Numbers is “In the Wilderness”. I like that title better. Its more human. And it succinctly describes the way you feel when your entire life is reduced down to very thing that is killing you. You feel lost. Dried up. Alone. Wandering.

Just like Ichiro felt 2 months ago when he retired from baseball.

A brief Hebrew history lesson:

Israel was in slavery in Egypt.

God sent Moses to miraculously lead them OUT of EGYPT and took them into the wilderness…or the desert…with the plan to eventually lead them to the Promised Land.

In the middle of the wilderness, they stop off at Mt. Sinai.

This is where God gives Moses the 10 commandments to give to the people.

And before they take off for the rest of their journey to the promised land, they receive some instructions about building a tabernacle, a big tent they carry around with them where the presence of God is going to rest with them.

They also take a census. They number everyone. That’s where the book of Numbers starts.

In the first 10 chapters of the book, all of Israel is counted and God tells them how to arrange their camp as they travel through the wilderness.

The tabernacle is in the middle of the camp, and the 12 tribes are neatly arranged around it.

It was an ever present reminder that God was at the center of who they were as a people.

In Chapter 10, the cloud that represents God’s presence lifts out of the tabernacle and begins to move them along, away from Mt. Sinai, and into the wilderness. So, Israel, as instructed follows.

And that’s where we pick up in chapter 11.

Here we go.

Numbers 11:1-23; 31-34

Now the people began complaining openly before† the Lord about hardship. When the Lord heard, his anger burned,† and fire† from the Lord blazed among them and consumed the outskirts of the camp. 2 Then the people cried out to Moses, and he prayed to the Lord, and the fire died down. 3 So that place was named Taberah,†† because the Lord’s fire had blazed among them.

4 The riffraff† among them† had a strong craving† for other food. The Israelites wept again and said, “Who will feed us meat? 5 We remember the free fish we ate in Egypt,† along with the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic. 6 But now our appetite is gone;† there’s nothing to look at but this manna! ”

7 The manna† resembled coriander seed, and its appearance was like that of bdellium.† 8 The people walked around and gathered it. They ground it on a pair of grinding stones or crushed it in a mortar, then boiled it in a cooking pot and shaped it into cakes. It tasted like a pastry cooked with the finest oil. 9 When the dew fell on the camp at night, the manna would fall with it.†

10 Moses heard the people, family after family, weeping at the entrance of their tents. The Lord was very angry;† Moses was also provoked.† 11 So Moses asked the Lord, “Why have you brought such trouble on your servant? Why are you angry with me,† and why do you burden me with all these people?† 12 Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth so you should tell me, ‘Carry them at your breast, as a nanny carries a baby,’† to the land that you swore to give their fathers?†13 Where can I get meat to give all these people? For they are weeping to me, ‘Give us meat to eat! ’ 14 I can’t carry all these people by myself. They are too much for me. 15 If you are going to treat me like this, please kill me right now† if I have found favor with you, and† don’t let me see my misery†anymore.”

16 The Lord answered Moses, “Bring me seventy men from Israel known to you as elders and officers of the people. Take them to the tent of meeting and have them stand there with you. 17 Then I will come down and speak with you there. I will take some of the Spirit who is on you and put the Spirit on them.† They will help you bear the burden of the people, so that you do not have to bear it by yourself.†

18 “Tell the people: Consecrate yourselves in readiness for tomorrow, and you will eat meat because you wept in the Lord’s hearing, ‘Who will feed us meat? We were better off in Egypt.’ The Lord will give you meat and you will eat. 19 You will eat, not for one day, or two days, or five days, or ten days, or twenty days, 20 but for a whole month — until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes nauseating to you — because you have rejected the Lord who is among you, and wept before him: ‘Why did we ever leave Egypt? ’ ”†

21 But Moses replied, “I’m in the middle of a people with six hundred thousand foot soldiers,† yet you say, ‘I will give them meat, and they will eat for a month.’ 22 If flocks and herds were slaughtered for them, would they have enough? Or if all the fish in the sea were caught for them, would they have enough? ”†

23 The Lord answered Moses, “Is the Lord’s arm weak?†† Now you will see whether or not what I have promised will happen to you.”…

31 A wind sent by the Lord† came up and blew quail in from the sea; it dropped them all around the camp. They were flying three feet† off† the ground for about a day’s journey in every direction.†32 The people were up all that day and night and all the next day gathering the quail — the one who took the least gathered fifty bushels† — and they spread them out all around the camp.††

33 While the meat was still between their teeth, before it was chewed, the Lord’s anger burned†against the people, and the Lord struck them with a very severe plague.† 34 So they named that place Kibroth-hattaavah,† because there they buried the people who had craved the meat

Transition: The stories we tell from the book of Numbers this summer, are all going to highlight the theme of the book. That even when God deals out his judgment on his people…his mercy is always coming through for us. Leading us out of the wilderness…and into the Promised Land.

Its vitally important that you can tell the difference between God’s mercy and his judgment…lest you begin to crave the wrong one. See…

1) When you find a craving that can’t be satisfied, you’ve confused mercy and judgment.

Ichiro hated the enslaving regimen that his Dad forced upon as a kid.

Yet, he clung to it as his only hope of a successful llfe.

That’s what happened to Israel, too.

v 1

The people of Israel were in the middle of God saving them FROM the slavery of the Egyptians. That’s why they were in the wilderness in the first place.

In other words, they were complaining about God’s mercy. His MERCY was to answer their cries to get them out of slavery. His method was to take them THROUGH a wilderness and TO a PROMISED LAND.

But they were now seeing the wilderness as God’s judgment.

They were seeing it as God punishing them. God doing something bad to them.

So God surrounds the camp with fire.

It was a warning.

But not so much a warning like “Hey I can burn you up is if you don’t follow me.”

Notice where the fire hits. Its on the outskirts of the camp.

Remember what’s at the center of the camp? The Tabernacle. God’s presence.

The warning here is that if Israel decides to move AWAY from God’s presence…if they remove God from the center of their existence…that they will experience fire.

Think about fire for a minute.

Fire never gets tired of consuming.

You know, when a fire is raging, it never goes, “Gee. That last tree…that was enough…I’m full. I think I’ll die now.”

No, fire consumes, and consumes, and consumes…and the more it burns, the more it wants. Fire is NEVER satisfied.

What happens at the first of Chapter 11 is a warning to Israel.

If you walk away from God…if you move him out of the center of your life to get something better, you will be like a raging fire…always consuming…never satisfied.

They didn’t listen.

V 4

Nothing has better described a family vacation than v 4.

All crammed in the car together headed to Disney World…and the riff raff in the mini-van says, “We’re hungry. What can we eat?”

“We’re on our way to Disney World. If we stop every 30 minutes, we ARE NEVER GONNA GET THERE!”

v 5

Then it happens.

Remember Egypt?

“We had all the fish, cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic we wanted for free. Let us go back!”

Now, anybody think that statement is INSANE?!

That food wasn’t free.

You paid for it with your lives. You were slaves. Your children were ripped out of your arms and killed. You were forced carry bricks. You were whipped and beaten.

You begged for God to get you out of there…and he mercifully heard you and answered you.

In fact, we are in the wilderness RIGHT NOW because he is saving you FROM that slavery….and now you want to go back because they had good fish frys?

INSANITY.

See, Israel has confused God’s mercy…the wilderness…with his judgment.

They think God has brought them into the wilderness to starve them…instead of save them.

And they are now looking back at their slavery and saying…”at least there we knew what we were going to eat.”

You wanna know something else that’s insane. Look at…

V 6

They say, “All we have is this manna!”

You know what manna is? It tells us right in the passage.

Its like little pastries that fell from heaven every night. And in the morning the people could go out and pick up waffles and maple syrup off the ground.

Even more than that…its God’s mercy again. Its God’s way of feeding and sustaining them in this temporary wilderness. And its not like he gave them a kale salad with licorice dressing.

He basically gave them a stack of pancakes for breakfast every morning.

But, once again, they confuse God’s mercy with some form of judgment.

So, how does God respond?

V 18-20

He says, “Oh, you’ll eat meat alright”

In fact, I’m going to give you everything you want.

For a month, I’m going to dump so much meat on you that it will be coming out of your nostrils.”

Why? Because you thought my mercy was judgment, so now, you’ll confuse my judgment with mercy.

See, ISRAEL THINKS they are going to get exactly what they want. But sometimes what you want, isn’t really what you want.

V 22

Now look at Moses’ response to God.

He says, “These people are like fire. They consume, consume, consume and never have enough.”

God, If you caught all the fish in the sea and gave it to them, they would only ask for more.

(Parents of teenage boys know EXACTLY what this is like)

v 32

So God sends so much quail into the camp that the smallest amount that was gathered by any one person was about 600 gallons of quail. 600 gallons.

V 33-34

But what the people thought was God’s merciful blessing, turned out to be a curse of judgment.

They got everything they wanted…and it turned out to be a plague that killed many of them.

So they named the place Kibroth-Hattaavah…which means they were buried in their craving.

They confused God’s mercy and his judgment…and because of that, they followed their craving all the way to their graves.

Let me give you a brief anatomy of this destructive fire-like craving and consuming as it will show up in our lives.

When you begin to crave something that is destructive to you…it starts with tolerance.

Destructive Craving is marked by Tolerance, Denial, and the Insanity of Trying to Fix a Problem with the Problem.

Tolerance

The high, the brief satisfaction you used to get from one hit of the drug, one taste of the meal, one look at the porn…doesn't get you high the next day. What satisfied you yesterday, isn’t enough today. You need something more. More food. A More severe drug. A more twisted sex scene. To get the same level of satisfaction you got the day before. You are a fire consuming. And your catch phrase is “just a little more, and then I’ll stop.”

Denial-

You rationalize and justify all your actions.

You shift blame. You point to people who have done harder drugs, worse things.

What you are doing is normal. Its not a problem. Sure you slip up every now and then, but

Then, Insanity

To deal with the problems alcohol has caused in your life…you drink more alcohol.

To stop the damage the lie has done, you tell another lie.

Yet none of this solves your problem.

Do you know why you are never satisfied? Never happy?

Back to 1)

Its because you’ve moved the tabernacle out of the center. You’ve moved God out the center of your life. And walked into the outer fire.

And the more fuel you give the fire…the higher it burns.

Listen, you have confused God’s mercy with his judgment. And you think, his judgment is mercy.

This is what Paul describes in the first chapter of his letter to the church in Rome.

He is talking about God’s wrath his judgment against sin.

But notice here, God’s judgment isn’t first a fire to consume them…he just gives them what they think they want.

Romans 1:22-24a & 25

Claiming to be wise, they became fools† 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man, birds, four-footed animals, and reptiles.†

24 Therefore God delivered them over in the desires of their hearts† … 25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie,† and worshiped and served what has been created instead of the Creator, who is praised forever.

They moved God out of the center, and began to worship themselves. So God gave them exactly what they wanted.

Back to 1)

Listen to me, there is no more dangerous message in our culture than the message to chase your dreams.

To define yourself by what you crave.

To measure success by immediate satisfaction.

Because we are INSANE with sin. WE crave slavery…we crave the grave.

We are ever moving God out of the center and replacing him with our superficial cravings.

And that’s the beauty of the wilderness.

It's the beauty of God’s mercy to strip away those things that beckon you to worship them.

TO put us in a wilderness, where YES, the detox hurts…but its on the way to what God has promised.

Are you suffering? Are you in pain? Do you feel dried up and wandering?

The answer is not to look inside yourself and see what would make you happy and chase it.

The answer is to see if God himself is at the center of who you are.

There is one way out of the wilderness…and that is to be satisfied with God WHILE you are in the wilderness.

Ichiro’s Dad thought “If my son would just be a famous baseball player, then I’d be happy.

So he moved Ichiro, the baseball player, to the center of his life.

365 days a year

And God gave him what he wanted.

Now he has a museum and no son.

And he the worst part, is he taught his son to crave baseball success.

Now Ichiro is experiencing the same hell his Father is, just with a lot more money and fame.

He’s got hundreds of millions of dollars, thousands of fans, influence, …but still can’t make sense of a life without baseball.

He gave himself to a regimen that couldn’t deliver on a transcendent promise to make him immortal.

And now, life without baseball feels like death.

Now, he’s got baseball records…but no father.

Transition: There’s another side of this coin. One that I won’t spend much time on, but I think, especially in the spirit of Father’s day, I need to address it. See, when you look away from the people of Israel and you look at Moses, their leader…you learn that…

2) Leading is humbly bleeding for critics, not feeding their cravings. (A reality that any parents can amen)

Moses, gets fed up with all the complaining of these people he simply cannot please. Much like a Dad with our kids sometimes.

Why can’t they see God like he does?

Why can’t they trust God like he does?

And then it happens. Moses starts to become JUST LIKE THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL.

V 11-12

He blames God.

Why did you do this to me?

Then he does the “They are your kids” trick.

Parents you ever done this?

You look at your spouse. “Did you hear what your son did today in school?”

When they acting good, you claim ‘em. But when they act a fool…oh that is YOUR CHILD!

V 14-15

Moses just says “I can’t do this!!!!! Just kill me if you are are going to treat me like this.”

Moses, the father figure here, has become exactly like his children.

Blaming, Whining, Complaining.

Dads…any of you ever been like this before?

I could probably just ask your wives.

The grown up, mature one, becomes just like the kids.

But look at this wonderfully merciful act by God.

V 16-17

He tells Moses that he is going to send his Holy Spirit on seventy other men in the camp, so that they can bear some of Moses’ burden.

He sends help.

Moses asks to die, but instead, God sends 70 people to help him.

V 29

And when some of the people complain that more than just Moses is leading them, Moses says, “NO, I wish EVERYBODY could have God’s Spirit to lead. I don’t want the spotlight. I don’t want to special. I just want us to follow God out of this wilderness and to the promised land. I hope God raises up 70 more leaders to bear this burden.”

But directly after this, those closest to Moses start to complain about his leadership.

12:2-3

Moses’ brother Aaron and his sister Miriam start to get jealous of him.

“Does Moses think he is the only one God can speak through? What about us?”

Note the INSANITY of this statement. God just sent his Spirit on 70 other leaders that Moses gladly welcomed. In fact, it says here that Moses was more humble than ANYONE on the face of the earth.

But Miriam and Aaron CRAVED position. Power. Fame.

They wanted to be in Moses’ place.

So they completely overlook his humility and his love for them, even though God has made it evident to them that all Moses wants to do is lead them to the promised land.

So God judged Miriam…and gave her leprosy.

And what did Moses do?

Did he say, “That’ll teach you.”

No, even for his worst, most hurtful critic…like a any parent would do for their harshest most wayward child…

12:13

Moses prays for her.

He begs God to heal her.

In fact, this happens over and over and over with Moses.

The children of Israel crave and consume their way into God’s judgment, and Moses steps in between and says to God, “Heal them. Forgive them. Please, even if it costs me my life, Lord, don’t leave them in this wilderness…take them to the promised land!”

Back to 2)

Dads (and moms too for that matter).

At the very core of leading people is this truth.

Leading is bleeding for your critics.

“I don’t want this breakfast!”

“I hate you.”

“I wish you weren’t my Dad!”

“Jimmy’s Dad lets him ride a motorcycle on a tightrope! You must not love me!”

If you loved me, you’d let me have cell phone!

To lead someone, is to have critics. Even your kids.

To lead someone, is to have people you love hurt you. Say ugly things to you and about you.

But you must understand, God puts you in that position not to use your power to give your critics (or your kids) everything they want…rather, to shepherd them. To lead them toward God at the center of their lives.

And often…that means saying no.

Often, that means telling those critics, just like your kids, “I love you too much to give you what you think you want. I know you want to do gymnastics 5 nights a week, or play year round travel baseball that has us missing half the Sundays in a year…but we’re gonna eat dinner together. And we’re going to be a part of the Body of Christ together. It doesn’t seem right to you right now, but I have to look ahead to something more beautiful.”

And you probably won’t get a thank you for doing that. Not today. Maybe not ever.

But that’s not the point. The point is that in everything you do you point them to God at the center…not give them over to fire of craving that burns outside the camp.

And….don’t forget…that God is merciful to send you help.

Even single parents…God has given you a church.

Church…we have to realize that one of the reason God gives us his Spirit is to bear the burdens of our brothers and sisters.

We don’t leave people to fend for themselves.

We help one another. And we HUMBLY and GRATEFULLY open ourselves to receive help from others in whom God’s Spirit dwells.

3) Jesus denied his cravings, bled for his critics, and in so doing, saved us.

Early in Jesus’ ministry, the Spirit of God led him out into the wilderness.

And Satan met him there, after Jesus had fasted for 40 days.

Matt 4:3-4

And notice, the Devil came after Jesus’ sonship.

He questioned, “Is God really a good Father to you?”

If he is, why does he have you in a wilderness.

Why should you be hungry?

A father that really loved you would give you everything your appetite ever desired.

And Jesus’ reply was not, like Israel’s, “We’re hungry. Why do you have us out here to die. Give us something to eat.”

Remember what Ichiro means?

“First Son”

Israel was called in the OT God’s Ichiro.

But they rejected their Father. They worshipped the God of their belly.

They confused God’s mercy for his judgment.

Yet, still, God did not cast them aside.

You know why?

Because through Israel he was committed to raising up Jesus. Centuries after Israel wandered in the wilderness for 40 years obeying their cravings all the way to the grave…

Jesus wanders in the wilderness denying his cravings to do the will of his Father.

Back to 3)

Jesus is the true “First Son” of God.

Jesus is the true Ichiro who obeys his Father in the wilderness.

But strangely…Jesus still dies.

You know, If you asked Jesus’ disciples what they wanted before he died, you’d get some different answers.

Peter would have said, “I want your Kingdom to come, and I won’t let you be harmed until you bring it!”

James and John would have said, “If you can just give us a little more power, we’ll be happy. We want to sit on your right and left and reign with you!”

Judas would have said, “If I could just get a little more money, then I’d be happy.”

But if you asked Jesus the true Son…

Well, he would have said, “I want what my Father wants.”

In fact, in the garden the night before Jesus was crucified, he prayed, “I want this cup to pass from me. I don’t want this cross. But, even more than that, I want your will to be done, Father.”

“Not my will, but yours be done”

And so, the Ichiro, the true son, bled.

Not only for his friends…but for his critics.

In a different sort of way, Jesus craved the grave.

He denied himself, all the way to the grave, so that Israel, and all those (including us) who would be called his disciples would have life in him. So that we would be true sons of our Father.

On the cross, what looked like judgment…and it was our judgment, fell on Jesus.

And in so doing, that judgment became our mercy.

We were forgiven. For giving into our cravings.

We were forgiven for bad parenting.

We were forgiven, for hating our bad fathers.

On the cross, we were forgiven for becoming like the people that hurt us.

After Jesus’ resurrected, those disciples that thought that life came through power, or money, or fame, realized something.

That there is nothing greater in the universe, than so deeply loving someone…that you lay down your life…you crave the grave…for that person’s good.

They saw Jesus do it for them…and then, in their own ways…according to their Heavenly Father’s good will…they went out and did it for their worst critics. (see the book of Acts for details).

I don’t know the way Ichiro’s story will play out. I hope he forgives his Dad. I hope his Dad will one day embrace him and say “I love you. I’m sorry for what I did to you.”

But I don’t have any control over that.

What I can do, and what we all can do for each other and with each other, is live the life Jesus’ died to give us. One where are forgiving like he forgave us. One where we are willing to bleed for those we lead. To die to our cravings and take up our crosses.

What if the Spirit of God moved us all to lock arms and help one another?

That can’t happen until each one of us, individually stops blame shifting, rationalizing, and justifying our ravenous sin….

…and we each…see Jesus dying for us…and repent, confess our sin to God and one another…and then and only then, will we be able to lead one another to keep God at center of the camp.