Leading with “Passion Power”:Inspiring Others with Courage, Clarity, and Creativity

As a leader or “high impact” communicator in a TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – Driven & Distracted World, there are three critical challenges to personal and professional engagement-leadership success:

1) Are you courageously developing and passionately projecting your unique energy and experience, strengths and skills?

2) Are you truly “being heard or are you just making noise?”

3) Are you developing collaborative, mutually productive, and innovative partnerships? 

Stress Doc "Get FIT" programs are FUN, Interactive, and Thought-provoking!  With singular wit and wisdom, real world tools, and especially his surprising and engaging small group exercises, the Doc encourages participants to "go for it."  Gain skills and strategies for unleashing dynamic energy and reducing status barriers.  Learn to purposely inspire and collaborate with others.  Allow the Stress Doc "Passion Power" Model motivate and inspire you:  bring a higher energy, a more creative and compelling presence upon entering the communicational arena.  As SHRM and IPMA-HR Program Chairs noted, Mark has a way of captivating an audience and makes them want to hear more...Take a passionate and creative ride with the Stress Doc!

Let the Stress Doc's singular wit and wisdom and his acclaimed small & large group exercises help you and your company/organization take home “head & heart” tools and techniques for the new “R & R.” Help our team members:a) Become more Resilient & Risk-Takingb) Reach new morale, team & cross-team collaboration, and performance heights, andc) Strengthen leadership presence by applying the Stress Doc’s Passion Power Model and Method!

Bring to life collaborative ideas & partnering tools through the Stress Doc’s acclaimed "Get FIT" – FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking – group exercises.

Program Objectives

1. Identify the conditions that increase or impede your best energy expression and flow; discover the inspiring Pain-Passion-Purpose Connection

2. Explore the art of healing and harmonizing humor and tools for becoming a compelling/engaging communicator: “The New KISS – Keep It Short & Smart,” “Less is More,” “Stand Out, Don’t Just Be Outstanding and Be Out-Rage-ous Not Just Out of the Box”

3. Explore the process of “letting go to “letting flow”; engage challenging feedback; defuse power struggles; discover and examine the “Five Steps of Creative Risk-Taking”

4. Experience the Stress Doc’s acclaimed “Five ‘P’ Model of Passion Power” – being Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful-Philosophical; become a more compelling communicator

5. Apply “Passion Power” by confronting your “Intimate FOE” use sharing-storytelling and mutual laughter; cultivate camaraderie, cohesion, and community; discover why the best leaders can be both vital and vulnerable

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor: May the Farce be with You.

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!

http://www-stressdoc-com.blogspot.com/2015/03/capturing-and-captivating-no-matter.html

Capturing and Captivating No Matter the Setting:Mastering the Interview Process and Training the Trainer

Two pieces on how to capture and captivate, whether during an interview (an essay) or as a public speaker-trainer-educator (email stressdoc@aol.com for a program blurb-objectives on Training the Trainer and Educator: Informing and Inspiring through Passion Power & Interactive Humor). Enjoy!

Mastering the Interview Process: Turning (and Dancing On) the Tables

After reading a colleague’s essay on how companies can better manage an interview process, my Janusian nature, quick to discern both (or multiple) sides of an issue, fairly jumped out of its skin, declaring, Au contraire! How about the interviewee strategically, if not outrageously, stealing the evaluative show? (FYI, Janus, is the double-profiled ancient Roman God. The god of beginnings and endings, leavings and returns, gazes left and right simultaneously.)

Actually, I had been quietly percolating on this subject ever since an HR Professional at a Washington, DC Public Charter School recently commented on my unique approach to being interviewed. Meeting with her, her boss, and the COO of the school, my mission was clear: to convince the troika that the “Stress Doc” ™ was the best person to deliver a training workshop on “Managing Conflict” to school administrators, faculty, and staff.

My method, apparently, was compelling. Actually, the HR Pro (who I’ll call Z), in a post-workshop chat, acknowledged that my unexpected methodology was outside her realm of “interview” experience, and certainly made an impression. Let me illustrate. Almost from the outset, not letting the encounter settle into a predictable Q & A rhythm, I suddenly turned the interview into an interactive performance-learning lab. More specifically, I challenged them to play my “Four Faces of Anger” Game. Basically, it was a word association to constructive or destructive, purposeful or spontaneous expressions of anger. Instantaneously, the room became alive with energy and expectation: I definitely had their attention and all were wondering where this quirky fellow was taking them? This instructor-expert was challenging his “students” to think on their feet. (I was no longer the only person in the room being evaluated.) And no matter the responses, some encouraging if not affirming feedback was provided…The first rule of “how to make friends and influence people.”

And to prove I was not a one-hit wonder, we jumped into a second exercise. I had the HR folks pair off: one had just given an important presentation at a board meeting; her colleague is to give her feedback. In the instructions, it appears that the feedback will be balanced; the reality is quite different. Her colleague reads from a sheet that I quickly scripted; now the presenter hears, Wow, you fumbled the data. I thought you said you prepared! While the first exercise mostly challenged the head, this one definitely massages both head and heart!

And finally, the COO’s use of the word “compromise” as a conflict-resolution ideal became my cue for introducing the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Styles Inventory. The five styles are based on the “high” or “low” degree of an individual’s “Assertiveness” and “Cooperativeness: Competition-Avoidance-Accommodation-Collaboration-(and in the middle)-Compromise. While each style has positive and negative aspects, I differentiated my ideal – “Collaboration” (High Assertiveness and High Cooperativeness) – from middle-of-the-road “compromise.” Compromise is quick and dirty, a convenient agreement. Collaboration takes time and energy as you uncover hidden ideas, agendas, and emotions, allowing difference and diversity to spark short-term conflict for evolving creativity. Another potential payoff: an opportunity for real buy-in and to forge productive partnerships.

And, in fact, during the interview process we had generated some synergy: not only had the individual pieces/people created a whole greater than the sum of the parts, but magically the parts had begun building a partnership.

Actually, there were two final steps – first, homework was assigned: I would write-up a program draft with objectives based on our discussion, and the interview team would solicit staff to further shape our workshop focus. Then I ended the meeting giving all a small sample of my pioneering efforts in the field of psychologically humorous rap music…Shrink Rap ™ Productions!

Key Structures and Strategies for Capturing the Interview Process

1. Be clear about your objective, and then quickly take charge of the interview process2. Initially, don’t be afraid to puzzle your audience, or to be a bit edgy or quirky3. Actively engage interviewers in some structured (even if spontaneous) learning exercise4. Turn the interview process into your planned and improvisational stage5. Make sure the “audience” is part of the show6. While an educational and entertaining experience, give the interviewers a chance to “show off’ their knowledge and expertise; as Ernest Becker, acclaimed American philosopher, observed, The most important human urge is the desire to feel important!7. Make it easy for the interviewer or interview team to imagine you as a dynamic performer-contributor in whatever your future role-assignment with the company or organization: Stand Out, Don’t Just Be Outstanding!8. Assign post-meeting tasks that encourage follow-up9. Between the interview and your “start date,” share and discuss new or evolving information and ideas10. And finish with a memorable close, one that has both pith and punch, that is, the Stress Doc’s “New KISS” – Keep It Short & Smart!

Oh yes, a little “lagniappe”: The process generates real synergy – the individuals begin working as a motivated and coordinated team!

Some tips to help you Practice Safe Stress before, during, and after an interview.

P.S. The “Transforming Anger and Conflict into Collaborative Problem-Solving” workshop was a smash!  Planning for Part II.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five Stages of Creative Risk-Taking: The Art of Designing Disorder

A. From Agenda to the Arena1) Feel and Focus on “Constructive Discontent”; discover the power of a paradoxical mindset2) Prepare for Courageous and Creative Engagement (Lawyer Bob)3) Go from “Cowardice to Choice”: Honor and Harness Angst

B. Aware-ily Jump In Over Head1) Generates Vulnerable State & Rapid Learning Curve: Threat-Loss-Challenge2) Quick Assessment of Skills & Resources: SERVE 3) Beware of Alligators

C. Strive to Survive High Dive1) Strive High and Embrace Failure   2) Time Frame: Beachheads and Battles3) Come Up for Air; TLC & Collaboration

D. Thrive On “Thrustration”…Incubate to Illuminate1) Torn between Direct Action and Frustration2) Take an Incubation Vacation: Letting Go to Letting Come3) Creative Tension Spurs Meditative Volcano: CHOP & Cognitive Disinhibition

E. Design for Error & Evaluation, Coming Out & Opportunity

1) Range of Possibilities over Fixed or Ideal Goals2) Choosing Confusion over Illusion of Control; Avoid “b.s.”3) Ambiguity for Connection & Vision; Out of the Closet & Develop IC2 Networks----------------------------

Creative Risk-Taking: Part IThe Art of Designing Disorder

By Mark Gorkin, LICSW“The Stress Doc” ™

As a public speaker, it's not surprising that risk-taking is a subject dear to my heart and ego. It's well known that most Americans would rather contemplate their own death than face “stage fright” or possible public embarrassment or humiliation. Of course, some of us platform performers have had to deal with both demons: as a speaker, believe me, I've died many times. And while skeptical about reincarnation, I'm still alive and talking…But not just talking. Over the years, I've transformed my share of humbling learning curves into a modus operandi for risk-taking.

Let me start with a trial by fire that illustrates the personal evolution of three keys of creative risk-taking. "On the edge" individuals:a) are not overly preoccupied with making mistakes or with social disapproval; they are able to tolerate the anxiety of separateness,b) have a strong enough ego to admit when they are wrong or in trouble, andc) analyze, emotionally experience and learn from trial and error.And with this foundation, "creative persons are precisely those that take the cards that make them anxious" (May).

Cox Cable Chaos

Back in the early '80s, cable television was starting up in New Orleans. Around this time, I had burnt out and dropped out of a doctoral program and was struggling to build my own psychotherapy and stress workshop business. Throwing caution to the wind, and needing to do some serious self-promotion, I managed to wrangle a health feature on a Cable TV Magazine show…despite my tele-virgin status.

Having a weekend to prepare for the inaugural shoot, oscillating between shock and elation, I kept reassuring myself: "Mark, you do public speaking, you've been in front of a camera…How difficult can it be?" I've come to realize this profound truth: The only thing more dangerous than taking a big risk, or not taking any risk, is taking a risk while minimizing the precarious reality of the situation!

No teleprompter, blinding lights, a sweltering room (the noisy AC had to be turned off in this primitive studio). D-Day had arrived. Staring at that one-eyed, fore-fingered monster (aka the cameraman)…Suddenly, I was facing a firing squad. My last halting, anxiety-filled utterance: "Hello. I'm Mark Gorkin, a stress expert." Then began an involuntary live demonstration: stage fright morphing into oral paralysis. I eventually became audible in bursts, though collapsing in exhaustion after a minute or two of delivery. (Fortunately, through the magic of television editing, most of my panic and battle fatigue was erased.) Of course, the camera crew didn't make things any easier. As we played back the tape, one of them said: "Don't worry. We'll use this for our blooper special." "Thanks a lot fellas." The next day I was still reeling from reality: the mortal wound to my illusion of invincibility thrust into awareness my combat deficiency. And while there was no rest for the battle weary, the executive producer threw me a lifeline: "I don't expect perfection; I do expect improvement each week."

Being caught in the crossfire of crisis and confrontation triggered a novel adaptive response. For the second shooting, I memorized eight minutes of uninterrupted script -- a dramatic breakthrough of one of my mind barriers. The performance tension, along with the internal pressure of punctured pride, generated a heretofore-untapped level of persistence and concentration for writing and memorization. I

also discovered another benefit of this heightened motivational state. My right hemisphere, responding to this "cry of the wild," produced vivid images and rhythm and rhyme verbal connections that evoked both a more colorful style of expression and that supported mental association and recall. The production crew couldn't believe the difference in my performance. They figured, "If he's crazy enough to do that, we might as well stick with him." In a way they were right. I really was out of my (normal) mind! By the third week I was getting smart. I invited a guest and used a short opening monologue. I won't claim the remainder of my twelve-week stint was a breeze (though I did get a good review in the newspaper). Actually, the third feature was part of a Thanksgiving Special taped in the sunny outdoors -- in gale wind conditions. Naturally, a palm tree prop fell on my guest and me in the middle of our interview. Hey..."Life's a beach."

Moral of the Tale. In twenty-five words or less: "Cox Cable Chaos" taught me more about letting go of predictability and perfection and accepting adult vulnerability than all my years of analysis!

Part II will provide key steps and strategies for “Confronting Your Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure” and for developing your “Creative Risk-Taking” potential. Until then, of course…Practice Safe Stress!

References

May, Rollo, "On the Imagination," The Symposium on Imagination, New Orleans, January 14, 1984-------------------

The Practice of Creative Risk-Taking: Part IIConfronting Your Intimate FOE

A tale of high performance anxiety and personal “stage fright” was the subject of “The Art of Creative Risk-Taking: Part I.” Was the Stress Doc breaking into New Orleans Cable TV or was he breaking down while taping a health feature? The illusion that previous speaking and university teaching experience (but tele-virgin status) had prepared him for the glaring lights and self-conscious focus was quickly exposed. Right from the traumatic beginning, a two season run in front of the camera consistently generated a highly intense, double-edged learning trial – as much labyrinth as laboratory. Fraught with danger and opportunity, this Gladiator-like arena compelled “Confronting the Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure.” Despite periodic feelings of inadequacy and humiliation (for example, when a member of the technical crew announced his initial taping would become a part of the blooper archives) this high-risk scenario yielded some positive revelations. High tension when productively channeled:a) improved concentration and capacity for memorization and recall,b) produced vivid imagery, rhythm and rhyme connections and imaginative mental associations, andc) generated greater comfort with uncertainty and, gradually, greater confidence in the effective adaptation to a pressure packed performance environment.

Perhaps the foundation of this dynamic process was a learning concept that challenged unproductive innocence, if not a state of denial: The only thing more dangerous than not taking any risk, or taking a big risk, is taking a risk while minimizing the precarious reality of the situation!

With this stepping stone wisdom, here are key steps and strategies for bravely facing your “Intimate FOE” and boldly developing your potential for “Creative Risk-Taking”: 1. Aware-ily Jump in Over Your Head. Only by jumping into the fray can you quickly discover how adequate your resources are with respect to the novel challenge ahead. This approach precludes a strategy that eliminates all risk in advance. (Okay, some prep may be necessary. As we say in N’Awlins, check to see if there are any alligators in the bayou.) You may need to encounter realistic anxiety, exaggerated loss of control and even some feelings of humiliation to confront your "Intimate FOE." But

often the reward for the risk is a unique readiness to build knowledge, emotional hardiness and skills for survival, along with evolving imaginative gifts.

2. Strive to Survive the High Dive. There's no guarantee when grappling with new heights or depths, but four fail-safe measures come to mind: a) strive high and embrace failure -- failure is not a sign of unworthiness; consider failure the gap between a future ideal and your present reality; it’s a transitional space that fosters growth rather than absolute mastery. Of course, for failure to motivate progress, also vital is distinguishing those fine lines among high expectation, vision and hallucination; b) develop a realistic time frame – remember, establishing a beachhead doesn’t mean you’ve conquered the island; recognize that many battles are fought and lost before a major undertaking is won; c) be tenaciously honest - continuously assess the impact of outcomes, changes within yourself and your environment, and the rules underlying your operation, d) establish a support system - have people in your life who provide both kinds of TLC: Tender Loving Criticism and Tough Loving Care. 3. Thrive On Thrustration. Learn to be stuck between thrusting ahead with direct action and frustration while struggling with your problematic puzzle or risk-taking adventure (Rabkin). Then let go: an incubation vacation, in the aftermath of agitated exploration, helps hatch a new perspective. Creativity often requires a period of relaxed attention or mindless perception along with being more problem-minded than solution-focused. As performance psychologist, George Leonard, has observed: It’s not the path to absolute mastery, but the lifetime learning path of mastery. (Leonard also strongly advocated training with an expert for a period of time.) Frustration tolerance and some guidance along with persistence and patience are the keys to escaping self-imposed boxes.

Increasing bio-psycho-social pressure and a “no exit” challenge can shake the habituated, settled mind. Thrustration may transform a dormant subconscious into an active psychic volcano -- memories, novel associations and symbolic images overflow into consciousness. You're better able to generate fertile problem-solving alternatives. Problems are not just sources of tension and frustration, but are opportunities for integrating the past and the present, the conscious and the unconscious, the obscure and the obvious. Here lies creative perspective. 4. Design for Error and Opportunity. Innovative and risk-taking individuals and organizations are more attuned to a range of possibilities than to fixed or ideal goals. These systems prefer the risk of initiation and experimentation to preoccupation over deviation or imperfection. Having the courage to flounder through a sea of novelty and confusion often yields new connections, long-range mastery and an uncommon big picture. A narrow, safe course creates the illusion of achievement and short-lived control. Of course, limited predesign means opportunity for errors. In open people and systems, startup misplays are vital signs for self-correcting and self-challenging feedback.

Remember, errors of judgment or design does not irrevocably consign one to incompetence; they more likely reveal inexperience or immaturity, perhaps even boldness. Our so-called "failures" can be channeled as guiding streams (sometimes raging rivers) of opportunity and experience that so often enrich - widen and deepen - the risk-taking passage…If we can just immerse ourselves in these unpredictable yet, ultimately, regenerative waters.

References Rabkin, Richard, "Critique of the Clinical Use of the Double Bind Hypothesis," in Sluzki, Carlos E. and Ransom, Donald C. (eds.), Double Bind: The Foundation of the Communicational Approach to the Family, Grune & Stratton: New York, 1976~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Four “P” Matrix for “Passion Power”Generating Personal Energy, Dynamic Leadership, Team Creativity and Mission Success

By Mark Gorkin, the Stress Doc ™; stressdoc@aol.com

Spurred by a request for a speaking program on “How to Give Dynamic and Engaging Presentations,” here is a model based on the key qualities that I try to bring to each performance. However, reflecting on the enthusiastic audience response to the energizing and interactive programs, I’ve come to see that this model has implications not just for speakers, but for individuals in a variety of leadership, motivational and educational roles. Specifically, the model, a 2 x 2 matrix, consists of dimensions based on a capacity for grappling with and combining seeming opposition: being thoughtful and emotive (psychological mode) and being serious and humorous (motivational mood). As will be elaborated shortly, the matrix yields four states of attitude and action: being “Purposeful, Provocative, Passionate and Playful.” And the challenge is not just demonstrating a capacity for exercising these psycho-communicational traits separately or sequentially. No, the real test is being able to purposefully play and imaginatively blend these “emotionally intelligent” and performance-motivational attitudes, aptitudes and actions simultaneously, as occurs with a psychologically integrated and dynamic leader or with a goal focused yet opportunity sensitive and flexible high-powered team. I believe that an uncommon motivating energy and an uncommon high performing synergy is released and maximized when an educator or motivator (individually) and an audience or group members (collectively) combine and express these dynamic, seemingly paradoxical “Four ‘P’” qualities.

Structural Dimensions of the Model

Here is the 2 x 2 skeletal and oppositional structure and dimensions of “The Four ‘P’ Passion Power Matrix”:

A. Psychological Mode

1. Cognitive – thinking or analytic mode2. Affective – feeling or emotional mode

B. Motivational Mood

1. Gravitas – a capacity for conveying a sense of seriousness, importance, depth and heartfelt, if not soulful, meaning2. Comedia – a capacity for dealing with the light or amusing or with the serious and profound in a light, farcical and familiar or ironical and satirical manner

With this “Psychological Mode—Motivational Mood” structural-dimensional design, “The Four ‘P’ Passion Power Matrix”:

Motivational Mood

Psychological Mode Gravitas Comedia

Cognitive Box 1: Purposeful Box 2: Provocative

Affective Box 3: Passionate Box 4: Playful

Four “P” Principles of “Passion Power”

The terms inside the boxes are familiar, yet some of their meanings or associations may prove “out of the box,” that is, surprising and, hopefully, both enlightening and invigorating. It is my belief that grappling with these mind-mood action states and gleaning their psycho-social intention and significance along with

their potential for motivating positive conflict and change means expanding your “personal energy, professional creativity and organizational synergy.”

Box 1. Cognitive – Gravitas = “Purposeful”

1. Being Purposeful. For me, a quote from the popular ‘60s fictional work, The Phantom Tollbooth, captures the essence of being “Purposeful”: “Fantasy and imagination suggest how the world might be. Knowledge and experience limit the possibilities. Melding the two yields understanding.” Let’s call this the right-brained (psychological) and left-brained (logical) perspective on purposefulness. And consider this related “purposeful” paradoxical pairing: the capacity for “flexible intentionality,” that is, being both goal-focused and adaptable regarding long-term objectives and short-term opportunities, along with an ability to accommodate when necessary mid-course correction. Two seemingly contradictory quotations capture the importance of fantasy, focus and flexibility. The first is from a law firm executive; the second is a Stress Doc maxim:

a) “Strive high and embrace failure.” For the head of a law firm, no matter the project, his goal was a 100% success rate, yet he understood this was frequently elusive. His mantra exalted concerted effort and bold persistence along with learning from mistakes over the illusion of perfection; hard-earned wisdom was prized over “one right way” shortcuts and seductive yet short-lived control.

b) “I don’t know where I’m going…I just think I know how to get there.” This aphorism suggests that for achieving an important goal or reaching a key destination, there is value in meandering purposefully. That is, new insight, opportunity or discovery may require “letting go” of the familiar or getting off the beaten path and taking time for exploration. Of course, this mindset requires a tolerance for some uncertainty and a good deal of patience, as well as (men…pay attention here) knowing when to ask for directions.

And finally, the revered medical pioneer, Jonas Salk, believed that higher purpose involved integrating the logical along with the psychological and the interpersonal: “Evolution involves getting up one more time than you fall down, being courageous one more time than you are fearful, and being trusting just one more time than you are anxious.”

Surely, these quotes do not simply illustrate “evolutionary purpose”; they also illuminate wise pathways that distinguish the mere possession of knowledge from having genuine, hard-earned “understanding.” And the individual who carries and shares genuine “understanding,” to play on an eloquent Bayer Aspirin advertising slogan, “helps experience make sense” in the realm of both head and heart. The purposeful articulation of a leader’s or a speaker’s personal vulnerabilities, errors and trial-by fire learnings often are the richest source for mutual understanding, intimate connection and the ongoing development of trust.

Box 2. Cognitive – Comedia = “Provocative”

1. Being Provocative. What’s the first thought that comes to mind when you read the word “provocative?” Is it someone who is sensually enticing or, perhaps, someone who is intentionally irritating? Reasonable responses, but let’s look at the half full side of this semantic equation. Did you know that “provocative” is derived from the French word provocare – “to call forth”? Certainly a competent leader or educator wants to stimulate and draw out, confront and excite a variety of thoughts and emotions, motives and actions. He or she wants to “arouse curiosity” if not generate “discussion or controversy” amongst the audience members. Such a leader believes in harnessing the “Five Provocative or Arousing ‘A’s”:a) Attention – quickly getting people to “stop, look and listen”b) Anticipation – having your audience both engaged in the present and starting to wonder, “What’s next?” or “Where is this (edgy) leader headed?”; having your audience on the edge of their seatsc) Animation – stirring people’s juices and hopes, challenging conventional beliefs, while communicating with their genuine or deeper self (the anima as opposed to the persona); firing the imagination and motivating a sense of adventure as well as a desire to pursue a common (team-or community-oriented) and uncommon (demanding, novel or original) mission

d) Activation – both individually and in groups, providing participants with the training along with maps and tools for generating long range plans and for insuring that tactical action steps are taken to identify common goals, solve problems, reach objectives and to pursue dreams, ande) Actualization – enable individuals to consistently bring their essence, peak energy and genuine spirit – their “elan vitale” – to both high task and high touch endeavors

The provocative presenter challenges people to expand their perceptions, to make surprising connections, and to “think outside the box.” A positive provocateur is not afraid to generate tension and use controversy as a motivational tool, especially to excite thought and movement “beyond one’s comfort zone.” For example, the provocative tool of choice for the esteemed 20th century pragmatic philosopher, John Dewey, was “conflict.” The founder of American public education declared:

Conflict is the gadfly of thought. It stirs us to observation and memory. Itshocks us out of sheep-like passivity. It instigates to invention and sets us atnoting and contriving. Conflict is the sine qua non of reflection and ingenuity.

Box 3. Affective – Gravitas = Passionate

(a) Being Passionate. Passion! What does it evoke? Intensity, heat, steaminess…the “s”-word: “soap opera?” No, of course it’s sex? Actually, we in Washington, DC know the “s”-word for passion…It is “Senator.” (Or it was until Bill Clinton ruined my joke.) Interestingly, if you have a good dictionary the “s”-word for “passion” is neither sex nor senator…it’s “suffering,” as in the Passion Play. This relates to the sufferings of Jesus or, more generically, to the sufferings of a martyr. (Imagine all this time I never knew my Jewish mother was such a passionate woman!

Actually, the best audience free association to the word “passion” has been “Rosa Parks.” Which inspires speculation around the connection among “suffering,” “passion” and being a powerful leader or motivator? For me it’s an individual who recognizes injustice (or, at least, has a low threshold for “constructive discontent”), feels her own and others’ pain and is capable of learning from the past. (Regarding the last point, renowned 20th century English author, John Fowles, called emotional memories his electric current; to maximize his creative juices he needed to be plugged in to this “power source.”)

And finally, such a leader, often with the support of others, is determined to right the wrong. And people are touched and moved by such pain, fire and courage. As Francois La Rouchefoucald, the 17 th century French classical writer, observed (quoted in Kay Redfield Jamison’s Exuberance: The Passion For Life, Random House, 2004), “Passions are the only orators which always persuade. They are like an act of nature, the rules of which are infallible; and the simplest man who has some passion persuades better than the most eloquent who has none.” Jamison, meanwhile, underscores a dynamic commander’s ability to unite a divided or dispirited group, organization or nation: “In times of adversity, inspired leadership offers energy and hope where little or none exist, gives a belief in the future to those who have lost it, and provides a unifying spirit to a splintered populace.”

Box 4. Affective – Comedia = Playful

a. Being Playful. I never realized how many common expressions begin with or involve the word “play.” Nor could I imagine how the variety of expressions with their different connotations speaks to the skills and strategies of the versatile leader and performer. Consider these examples: “play upon” (words or another’s emotions), “play a role” or “role-play,” and “play it by ear” (that is, having a capacity for improvisation or, for example, by truly listening to your team’s and audience’s needs and interests as your project or program unfolds). While a dynamic leader or educator wants to give “full play” to his or her mind and emotions, a savvy leader, often knowingly and for strategic advantage, will “play the fool.” I especially like this usage – “play a trick on.” Based on my experience, being “mischievous” or a tad “devilish” – two of Roget’s synonyms for “playful” – can be very engaging qualities. Many people embrace or long to act out their impish, slightly naughty or roguish inner child (e.g., think adult Halloween costumes). Or admire or envy, if only secretly, those who do.

More than just being a light-hearted pursuit, play has been one of the greatest enterprises for exploring, socializing, bonding and unifying throughout the evolutionary history of the animal kingdom. Play has many functions: a) gives individuals an opportunity to learn group norms and boundaries, b) allows for innovatively expanding and challenging roles, rules and procedures, c) encourages skill development and the exercise of the imagination, d) may be a learning laboratory for maturation and creativity in the realms of work, friendship and love, and e) frequently builds a sense of individual and group identity and short- and long-term camaraderie as well as fostering trust and teamwork. And play infused with laughter is an especially effective stress reliever and social harmonizer. Of course, play can also turn into an aggressive “winner takes all” or “win at any cost” pursuit or obsession (think steroid use in a variety of athletic arenas). Now the “playground” starts morphing into a “battleground.”

A “Passion Power” leader has a sense of play that doesn’t lose sight of her and other’s humanity. She has a compassionate understanding of perplexing and incongruous human nature and of our being all too imperfect and inconsistent creatures. And a sense of absurdity that comes out to play and laugh even in the face of stress or danger can help people accept flaws and foibles while affirming both their vulnerable and vital natures. Playful surprise may even gently cajole others to bridge differences, to move beyond a comfort zone and to explore common emotional-cultural connections.

Closing

The “Four ‘P’s of Passion Power” have been outlined as a 2x2 matrix. When a presenter or leader blends and expresses the “cognitive and affective” as well as the “gravitas and comedia” then, to invert “the bard,” an interactive stage or arena comes into play. Leader and troops, manager and employees or educator and students are set to engage in creative communication and mutually generate a transitional space. This space-time interface is alive with possibility. Both parties can authentically engage and energetically define and design specific relationships as well as an overall “high task and high touch” world of learning, imagination, give and take sharing and creative activity. The result often captures the essence of synergy: the whole is truly greater than the sum of its parts!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captivating and Inspiring Your Audience: The "Short and Smart" KISSing Technique -- Skills, Steps, and Strategies: Part II

Part I, made a case for placing the "superior" slogan KISS – Keep It Simple, Stupid or Keep It Simple Stupid – out to proverbial pasture. To be a high impact communicator in today's TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – driven and distracted world one must cultivate and spread a new and compact message-delivery technique. It's a practice and performance that is engaging and edgy, deceptively simple yet, being concise, packs a high energy quality punch. Are you ready to become a "Short and Smart" KISSer?

The Stress Doc's KISSing Technique – Skills, Steps, and Strategies!

There are several maneuvers for spicing up your KISS without having to resort to the French technique.  (Obviously, I’m keeping said tongue well planted in my own cheek.) Let me count several ways of enabling your communication-message to be “Short and Smart”...and also compelling:

1. Acronyms. Clearly, acronyms allow a message to be succinct and powerful (if not always “smart” in the “Emotionally Intelligent” sense of the word). KISS and my real definition or source of jaw pain – TMJ: Too Many Jerks!…these letters and lines definitely package a message and pack a punch; also, see “Alliteration” below. Through form and function, acronyms allow for the selection of a manageable and digestible number of key “food for thought” elements. Not only do acronyms help make a message seem meaty, in addition they make it memorable or, at least, easier to remember. For example my “Natural SPEED Formula for Stress Resiliency and Brain Agility: Sleep-Priorities-Passion-Empathy-Exercise-Diet." Of course, use some discretion; it’s easy to OD on acronyms.  I’m a charter member of the new 12-step AA group: Acronyms Anonymous!

2. Analogy. Analogy is a similarity been two things, having features that, at a first glance, are not always seen as related. This categorization process evokes a comparison whereby the resemblance may be more readily and rapidly understood. For example, the great yet ornery Boston Red Sox baseball slugger, Ted Williams, was called "The Splendid Splinter." Not only can a splinter be a symbolic visual for a bat, but "The Kid" could definitely be a pain in the butt!

Analogy enables us to a) take familiar knowledge and experiment in a new arena or have a new situation challenge a conventional view, e.g., my book title – Practice Safe Stress, b) to perceive common threads among disparate elements or situations, e.g., my Shrink Rap™ line, "inside your car looks like a pocketbook on wheels," c) sort wheat from chaff, and d) rapidly and often reliably get to or illustrate the crux of a problem (or healing possibilities), thereby facilitating new perspective, applications, or adaptations…talk about a smart (and survival-driven) conceptual strategy.

Consider how "tree of life" imagery and analogy infuses my post-earthquake draft of a Nepali "Be Well Initiative" Philosophy. (I am a founding member of the BWI community health planning team):

The "Be Well Initiative" (BWI) for the Nepali Diaspora has its roots in the natural earthquake trauma and tragedy. However, it's branches of healing and hope are presently reaching out to both local Nepali and Bhutanese Nepali communities in cities and states across the United States. We wish to touch the overall Nepalese collective throughout our country. And as our tree of research, knowledge, and compassion grows, hopefully, other countries will share the fruits of our labor and plant their own trees.

More Metaphor and Imagery in a Short Story

Or use metaphor or comparative imagery to put some flesh on a message bone. Let me provide a personal example. When I submit program titles for various speaking engagements, a frequent title or subtitle is: “Combat Strategies at the Burnout Battlefront.” People often feel there are war zone elements in their work situation. I recall VA Head Nurses introducing themselves at the start of a stress workshop by barking out their last names and their wards: “Walker, W-14, Thompson, W-18, Jones W-20.” I immediately exclaimed, “It sounds like your reporting from the battle stations!” Their sighs and nodding heads let me know I was on target.

So even if “Burnout Battlefront” is an exaggeration, folks believe I have a sense of their intense work conditions/stress levels. Though for these nurses it wasn’t much of an exaggeration. Their two favorite slogans: Do your eight and it the gate; nine to five and stay alive! (We’ve previously illustrated, a slogan or an adage is another way of generating an effective KISS.) As for the extreme conditions, maybe it was a coincidence, though I don’t believe so…the very caring Director of Nursing who brought me in to lead the workshop was dead within a year from cancer.

P.S. Surely, another way to convey “short and smart” is through a pithy "short story," especially one that effectively and efficiently ranges from the playful to the poignant or vice versa.

3. Alliteration and Rhyme. Or try animating a KISS by using alliteration (see above); repeating the same letter at the beginning of a word, e.g., “burnout battlefront” and "TnT" (Trauma and Tragedy); or repeating similar sounds, which takes us into the realm of rhyme. The aforementioned nurses’ slogan will do: “Do your eight and hit the gate; nine to five and stay alive.” Walk the talk clearly has permeated mass consciousness. Alliteration and rhyme give your words a “rhythm” – a beat, a pace, a cadence, a pulse – which makes your message vibrate, makes it distinctive, and helps capture peoples’ attention. A radio host recently thanked me for being on his show and added, You have a unique rhythm to your speech that I want to tap on; you have great delivery. Thanking him, I mentioned trying to project the emotional valence of just about every word or phrase that I use. As well as employing purposeful pauses. (Many moons ago, as a novice starting in radio, getting speech lessons from a theatre actress definitely helped.)

4. Short and Smart but also Silly or Sly. Clearly, so many try to employ or simply enjoy humor as it helps grab attention, may facilitate social bonding, or defuse interpersonal tension; and a good laugh relieves stress. As many humor students have noted, laughing with gusto is like turning your body into a big vibrator, giving vital organs a brief but hardy internal massage…talk about a “short and smart” message! (Of course, in addition to healing or harmonizing humor there’s the hostile variety. Darn, now I may need to start an Alliterations Anonymous group as well.) And when your message can both quickly, and mostly gently, poke fun of cultural icons while helping us knowingly laugh at our own flaws and foibles…well that’s one desirable if not delicious KISS. Consider the opening lines of the Stress Doc’s Stress Rap:

When it comes to feelings do you stuff them inside?Is tough John Wayne your emotional guide?And it’s not just men so proud and tight lippedFor every Rambo there seems to be a Rambette!

As I once penned, People are less defensive and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with humor!

5. Be Surprising and Provocative. For some, a message that’s both short and smart may seem contradictory if not oxymoronic. Actually, as noted in Part I with Twain's quote, when you place “short and smart” content in a quick and unexpected package you basically have captured the definition of thought-provoking "wit." Practice Safe Stress anyone?

Or consider this provocative short story. I recall a government agency alienating a number of its administrative staff by not eliciting their input regarding a change process directly impacting the employees' day-to-day document processing operations. First, I helped management acknowledge their major misstep. People were grieving the loss of the familiar, also needing to express appropriate frustration with top-down and exclusive decision-making. There definitely was a dark cloud sense of loss of control, if not feeling devalued as meaningful team members. Fortunately, my suggestion to hold a "Forms Funeral" (catch the alliteration?) – whereby folks could eulogize some of the old and share their concerns about the new, combined with management committing to a more participatory operational culture – proved to be the pass in the impasse!

Closing Summary

This essay illustrates a variety ways of enabling your KISS-message to be “Short and Smart”...and also compelling:

1. Acronyms: KISS and TMJ2. Analogy: The Splendid Splinter and Tree of Life3. Alliteration and Rhyme: Burnout Battlefront and Walk the Talk4. Short and Smart but also Silly or Sly: Shrink Rap and Rambo and Rambette5. Be Surprising and Provocative: Practice Safe Stress and Forms Funeral Story

Whether using pithy poetic-like nicknames or phrases or sharing passionately purposeful short stories, your reputation as a persuasive KISSer will precede you. All I can say is...Amen and Women to that!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote, kickoff and webinar speaker as well as a "Motivational Psychohumorist & Communication Catalyst." Stress Doc programs help an audience "Get FIT"– by being FUN, Interactive, and Thought-provoking. The Doc is a Training and Stress Resilience Consultant for TrainingPros and The Hays Companies, an international corporate insurance and wellness brokerage group. He has also led “"Stress and Communication,” as well as “Managing Change, Humor, and Team Building" leadership retreats for a variety of units at Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services.

A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Resiliency Rap. .  The Stress Doc blog appears in such platforms as HR.com, WorkforceWeek.com, and MentalHelpNet.  His award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cowardice or Choice: From Vice to Voice

A coward dies a thousand deaths; a hero dies but once **No matter the total breaths; when it mattered…did you give your every ounce?The saddest part of cowardice, the sacrifice of peaceful sleepTo cold night sweats of moral vice; a haunted voice that makes you weep.Still…that twilight coliseum, a dreamscape of battling foesA second chance for wrestling demons; will you now go blow for blow?

You may not win each contest; there will be trails of bloodBut you may slowly lay to rest that nightmare-stalking brood.Each hour brings another choice – to take a stand or runEven lacking true clear voice, in no way are you dumb.Dig deep for that rich ore of shame; you are near with fear or rageLet a guide reveal a novel game; get off the “b.s.” (be safe) stage.

Lurking in shadows psychic, bubbling lava primal pain…Sculpt and dance until there’s magic; Pygmalion’s art shall rise again.No longer that once robot child, head twisting madly side-to-sideYes, pursue the “Call of the Wild”; beware that, “Well, I tried.”“Learn to Fail or Fail to Learn”; please forsake the craft of coolFiery spirit will once more burn when com/passion and purpose rule!

[** Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar]

© Mark Gorkin 2014Shrink Rap ™ Productions~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So WHY’s UP: 20 QUESTIONS or The Conscious-Courageous-Creative Answer

1. Why dredge up rage and shame?2. Why feel and reveal, instead of conceal, psychic pain?3. Why mourn, let go, and work with the same?

4. Why confront “The Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure”?5. Why become more risk-taking; why learn The Art of Designing Disorder?6. Why tolerate living with uncertainty and vulnerability?7. Why become less dependent on another’s approval or on “respectability”?

8. Why learn to accept criticism without feeling so anxious, humiliated, or rejected?9. Why not just settle into the role or image that is typically expected?10. Why strive high and embrace failure…being home on the range with text and context?11. Why make the strange familiar, the familiar strange; the complex simple, the simple complex?

12. Why challenge superficial, narrow-minded, and self-righteous thinking or posturing?

13. Why waste time in irrational, silly, fanciful, or out-rage-ous imagining or playing?14. Why evolve a capacity for tenderness and aggression, logic and intuition, meditation and dynamic expression…why embrace ambiguity and most contradiction?15. Why practice and synthesize diverse knowledge and ideas, talent and skills, experiencesalong with an array of emotions?

16. Why bother exploring, shaping, pursuing, and fighting for precious dreams…even when they may not be what they seem?

17. Why raise these questions every day of your life?18. Why share these questions every day of your life?19. Why should life be absurd and you be outrageous?20. Why…not? Because…

For the phoenix to rise from the ashesOne must know the painTo transform the fire to burning desire!

Psychologist Salvatore Maddi’s Existential Position: Life is a series of decisions, each of which can be made in a direction that propels the person into future-oriented growth through new experience or pulls him back into the stagnation of a familiar past.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote, kickoff and webinar speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring, and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  In addition, the "Doc" is a Team Building and Organizational Development Consultant as well as a Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Expert for Business Health Services, a National EAP/Wellness/OD Company.  He is providing "Stress and Communication,” as well as “Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for a variety of units at Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services.

A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four

Faces of Anger.  The Stress Doc blog appears in such platforms as HR.com, WorkforceWeek.com, and MentalHelpNet.  His award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

[The En-Rap-turing Impact of “Shrink Rap” ™ at Ft. Hood, TX; photo by Laurie Dunlop]